Marauding Hens, Christmas Panic & Loser Stink

Our hens raided the container garden during their free-range jaunt yesterday:

I never participate in the garden threads because my husband does every bit of the gardening around here. I couldn’t even grow a Chia pet or keep an air fern alive.

Christmas Panic

Anne Laurie’s early morning open thread featured the image of commenter Hitchhiker’s lovely cat in front of a Christmas tree. But instead of going, “Awwwww,” I went, “Sweet mother of fuck! It’s almost Christmas, and I haven’t done a damn thing!”

My fake tree and all the decorations are still in the shed. I haven’t ordered the Christmas dinner prime rib yet. We haven’t even quite wrapped up our kitchen renovations (although it’s mostly done – we lack cabinet toe-kicks and the backsplash only at this point), and our dining room still sports a bare concrete slab as we haven’t gotten around to laying the tile. Oh, and I haven’t bought the first present yet.

Why? Well, the home renovations have become a convenient excuse for being slobs. Why bother dusting or sweeping when there’s 70s-era glue on the walls where we ripped out the old laminate backsplash and bare concrete underfoot? We’ve actually enjoyed the respite.

As for the lack of Christmas spirit, it just doesn’t seem Christmas-y yet, partly because it’s been so warm. I’m a native Floridian, so warm Decembers aren’t a foreign or unwelcome concept to me. But it does seem unusual to get this far towards the solstice without once having to put on a pair of socks or rifle the closet for a jacket. There have been a few flannel-shirt-over-the-tee-shirt days, but I haven’t had to bust out the woolies. Nonetheless, there is work to be done.

Romneys Spread Loser Stink

Speaking of indolent people, Mitt and Ann Romney are continuing their loser tour. Noted fans of “sport,” the Romneys took in the Pacquiao-Marquez boxing match last night:

I don’t follow boxing, but I think Pacquiao was favored to beat Marquez. That was before Romney visited Pacquiao in his dressing room, exuding a giant cloud of loser dust:

“Hello Manny. I ran for president. I lost,” Romney told the fighter, according to Pacquiao publicist Fred Sternburg.

Then this happened:

LAS VEGAS — Manny Pacquiao never saw it coming. He never saw the punch that snapped his head back Saturday and dropped him to the canvas and left him sprawled there momentarily, face down, while his wife sobbed uncontrollably and the packed crowd at MGM’s Grand Garden Arena rose to its feet in shock.

With that, a rivalry known for its lack of a definitive triumph suddenly had the most definitive ending of them all.

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope Mitt and Ann Romney decide to pay the Notre Dame locker room a visit prior to the BCS title game.

Speaking of Losers

Remember the group One Million 51,700 [homophobic] Moms (OMM)? No? Me neither, but this spring, they failed spectacularly in a bid to get Ellen Degeneres fired as JC Penney spokesperson. After that effort flopped, OMM director Monica Cole announced that the breeder klatch was “moving on.”

But a JC Penney commercial featuring Ellen and several Christmas elves attracted their ire again last week.

It wasn’t that Ellen groped a female elf in the ad or anything. It’s just that everyone knows she’s a lesbian, and think of the chiiiiildren!

Because the commercial that occasioned the protest was so innocuous, onlookers found the OMM action confusing. (Pro tip: When you have to explain why you’re taking umbrage, you’re not successfully inciting it.) So OMM declared that the group is “moving on.” Again. Maybe someday they actually will.

[X-posted at Rumproast]

Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Pinterest
Share On Reddit

144 replies
  1. 1
    MikeJ says:

    And there’s even a pic of Ellen & the Elves (possible band name?) in the secret thread.

  2. 2
    c u n d gulag says:

    Any group that’s too stupid to figure out how to use the letters “O,” “M,” and “M,” to spell “MOM,” probably shouldn’t be allowed to form.

    How about a “Million ‘n One Mom’s?” – you feckin’ dumbass idjits!
    Plus, you get to add an additional Mom.

    Or, how about “Millions Of Moms?”
    This way, you inflate your numbers even more!

    Yet another example that the answer to the question, “Evil, or stupid?”, is, BOTH! ! !

  3. 3
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Romney visited Pacquiao in his dressing room, exuding a giant cloud of loser dust

    He is a real-life Joe Btfsplk.

    The world’s worst jinx, Joe Btfsplk had a perpetually dark rain cloud over his head. Instantaneous bad luck befell anyone unfortunate enough to be in his vicinity. Though well-meaning and friendly, his reputation inevitably precedes him — so Joe is a very lonely little man. He has an apparently unpronounceable name, but creator Al Capp “pronounced” Btfsplk by simply blowing a “raspberry,” or Bronx cheer.[13] Joe’s personal storm cloud became one of the most iconic images in the strip.

  4. 4
    Wag says:

    We’re here in Colorado waiting for to to really start snowing. Last night it finally hit. Now let’s hope the storms keep coming. Our state is totally dependent on snow for our water supply, and right now we’re around 10% of average

    As far as Xmas preps are concerned , we went hiking with the kids yesterday and cut a tree. The intensity of the pine aroma is amazing. Xmas perfume.

  5. 5
    Josie says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Now, see, this is why I enjoy reading Balloon Juice. There are other people in the world who actually remember Lil Abner and Joe Btfsplk, in addition to being evil liberals.

  6. 6
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Josie:
    I too remember Lil Abner and Joe Btfsplk (The New Straits Times carried the strip here). But I didn’t know that Al Capp had an official pronunciation for Joe’s surname.

  7. 7
    JPL says:

    Betty, I’m not a Notre Dame fan, but give the team a break. How many points do you want them to lose by?
    Glad the remodel is coming along.

  8. 8
    Ash Can says:

    I’m honestly surprised to see that the Romneys are boxing fans. I thought they’d consider it icky (as do I, actually). Then again, when you’re a little short in the empathy department, I suppose you don’t mind watching a couple of people beat the shit out of each other.

  9. 9
    Betty Cracker says:

    @JPL: At least ten points. (I have a small wager to cover.)

  10. 10
    01jack says:

    @Ash Can:
    I’m guessing they have friends who own boxers.

  11. 11
    Downpuppy says:

    You didn’t call this Open, but since I can’t quite follow it, going to go to another batch of overpaid losers, the UC Regents .

    Much more successful umbrage is being taken at the new University of California logo, which is a combination of a toilet flush and a slow-loading circle.

  12. 12
    Face says:

    Ellen Degenerate causing probs again, eh? Imagine if she did the ad topless…..

  13. 13
    Amir Khalid says:

    I don’t follow boxing, but I think Pacquiao was favored to beat Marquez. That was before Romney visited Pacquiao in his dressing room, exuding a giant cloud of loser dust

    Someone should persuade Mitt to visit with all the Republican presidential contenders for 2016.

  14. 14
    amk says:

    “Hello Manny. I ran for president. I lost,”

    Way to give a pep talk to the guy just before a fight. Poor guy. Never did see it coming indeed.

    Is this an early warning shot from mittbot that he is going for the triple run in 2016 ? Heh, third time is lucky and all that.

  15. 15
    rob! says:

    Why the f*ck does Romney get to visit a boxer backstage before a fight? And why would that boxer’s people want that walking pile of fail even talking to their guy as he’s trying to prepare for a big fight?

    This is a guy who can’t stand doing things as if a regular person would: go see a fight. Period. But no, he has to indulge in some display of “I’m special.” What a f*cking asshole.

  16. 16
    Zagloba says:

    Betty Cracker @0: I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope Mitt and Ann Romney decide to pay the Notre Dame locker room a visit prior to the BCS title game.

    That’s cold, Betty. And not in the dark humor sense, that’s just uncomfortable.

  17. 17
    cathyx says:

    @c u n d gulag: That’s funny.

    Now they should be called Moving On Moms.

  18. 18
    Keith says:

    Does this mean we get another one of Bernard’s “Leeeeeaaaave Mitt A-LOOOOOOOOOOONE!” posts?

  19. 19

    I have the sneaking suspicion that Romney is going to be back. All this “I won’t run again” stuff is just another flip-flop opportunity. I mean, jeez. Since when has he ever stuck with a position on anything?

    I just can’t help but think these photos of Mitt pumping his own gas or shopping at CostCo or taking in a sporting event aren’t more lame-ass attempts to humanize the Mitt-bott. Make no mistake, he’s running for something.

  20. 20
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Josie:
    @Amir Khalid:

    It’s one of the many things I love about this blog, knowing there are at least a few people who get the semi-obscure references other olds.

    But I also love the, dare I say it?, diversity here. And not just the obvious racial-ethnic-nationality mix, but the great range of ages and experiences and income and educational levels. Grand opera and Little Feat, every possible sexual orientation, heavy drinkers and recovering alcoholics, atheists and deeply religious — heck, even dog lovers and cat lovers. Coexistence at its finest.

  21. 21
    dmsilev says:

    @Southern Beale: There’s no way he’s going to be able to mount a plausible Presidential run after losing this one. Some other office, Senator or maybe another Governorship somewhere, maybe. But not President. Even by the rather marginal standards of the GOP primary, he’s got no credibility.

  22. 22
    hep kitty says:

    So Cole gets shit-faced and all he can ever talk about is Little Feat. No ruminations on past loves or war stories. Just a “what’s your favorite song/album/artist?” thread which is about as insufferable as it gets.

    Not so much as a “shay, y’know, I member back when I wush a republikin, I yoosht to kick homeless people”

    :)

  23. 23

    @dmsilev:

    He might be angling for an ambassadorship or who knows what. But I wouldn’t put it past him to want to try again. I betcha anything they’re all saying, “well shoot, now that the pendulum is swinging back to the middle, Mitt can run as the moderate everyone knows him to secretly be!”

  24. 24
    Ash Can says:

    @Keith: That wasn’t so much a “leave Mitt alooooooone” post as an “everybody stop having fun and get serious” post, as if we were all going to jump on the phones to our elected officials and draw up plans for street marches on a Saturday night.

  25. 25
    hep kitty says:

    @Southern Beale: I think you’ve got something there. The pumping gas pic was the last thing I expected, honestly. Does the man ever pump his own gas in the Romney world? Costco? Really?

    No, they wouldn’t put themselves through the humiliation of still trying to act like the help after losing unless there was something in it for them. Didn’t take long.

  26. 26
    cathyx says:

    When you’re as wealthy as Mitt is, I imagine it must get somewhat boring. You don’t have to work, you’ve traveled the world and seen it all, even having parties gets old after a while. So running for presidency or any office is what they have left for entertainment.

  27. 27
    hep kitty says:

    @Ash Can:

    I’m honestly surprised to see that the Romneys are boxing fans

    The royals and the nobles. They love them some bloodsport.

  28. 28
    hep kitty says:

    Ellen looks cute in that pic. I’m straight but I’d almost do her.

    ‘Cept she’s married. I stopped doing married people a few years ago. Too complicated.

    Signed,
    Your Morning Asshole

    ;)

  29. 29
    cathyx says:

    @hep kitty: Many lesbians look to me like cute boys. Underdeveloped boys. Ellen and Rachel come to mind.

  30. 30
    Amir Khalid says:

    @dmsilev:
    Has any American politician ever been elected Governor in two different states? From what I’ve learned here, Mitt’s name is mud in Massachusetts. It would have to be some other state — maybe one of his “home” states, one that he won this year. Although I seem to recall that he lost all those states.

  31. 31
    aimai says:

    @cathyx:

    My guess is hte dream job would be ambassador to England, that used to be the plum job that upper class twit got. Second choice? Uzbekhistan. But its only the Republican party that thinks their loser presidentail candidates should get a consolation prize from the victor. I’m sure Mr. entitlement thought Obama should give him an ambassadorship or a cabinet position and was surprised to find out that first runner up for the Presidency gets bupkis.

    aimai

  32. 32
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @Ash Can: #24

    as if we were all going to jump on the phones to our elected officials and draw up plans for street marches on a Saturday night

    Yes. And why not?

    [And besides, the commentariat at BJ was beginning to sound like the audiences at the Republican debates this spring.]

  33. 33
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Amir Khalid: Does he have a home in Utah? He used to. He could probably get elected there, but surely not again in Massachusetts or in NH or CA where his other stately mansions are.

    I’d be shocked if Romney weren’t angling from some Big Important Hobby Job. Maybe not publicly elected office again. Maybe he could be a big wig in the Mormon church. From what little I know of it, Mittens would be an improvement on the bunch currently in charge.

  34. 34
    Elizabelle says:

    What looks like an incredibly good story by Anne Hull, who co-wrote the WaPost’s series on Walter Reed’s shortcomings with Dana Priest.

    Posting it so you can enjoy it along with me, fresh mug of coffee in hand.

    In Rust Belt, a teenager’s climb from poverty

    Tabi shared the rental house with her mother and sometimes her mother’s boyfriend. Her four older siblings were grown. None of them had graduated from high school. They wore headsets and hairnets to jobs that were so futureless that getting pregnant at 20 seemed an enriching diversion. Born too late to witness the blue-collar stability that had once been possible, they occupied the bottom of the U.S. economy.
    __
    “I’m running from everything they are,” she said.
    __
    The question was whether Tabi could outrun the odds against her.

  35. 35
    jurassicpork says:

    I haven’t done shit for Xmas, either, except to buy some presents for Mrs. JP on Amazon. My tree’s not up, either. I’ve been busy of late bringing my CreateSpace novels into being and the formatting is a pain. This is what my second CreateSpace novel looks like, along with some trivia about it.

  36. 36
    cathyx says:

    Does Mitt have a home in Michigan? He’d fit in well there.

  37. 37
    Josie says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: This. It is a community, in the best sense of the word.

  38. 38
    Elizabelle says:

    @aimai:

    This isn’t snark.

    I wonder if Obama could suggest Romney tour Haiti, and report back on how better to coordinate recovery from the earthquake and decades of debilitating poverty there.

    I don’t see how you go to Haiti and not be moved.

    Improving conditions in Haiti is a monstrous, and noble, job, and there would seem to be plenty of work to go around for anyone serious about wanting to make a positive difference.

  39. 39
    scav says:

    Man’s seriously delusional if he’s hoping for an Ambassador Shambles posting.

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Linda Featheringill:

    And besides, the commentariat at BJ was beginning to sound like the audiences at the Republican debates this spring.

    A deep, shuddering sigh of relief that our country isn’t well and truly fucked can get expressed in a variety of ways.

  41. 41
    cathyx says:

    It is sad that people with as much money and position as Mitt and Ann don’t go into philanthropy and really make a difference in people’s and communities lives. There is so much basic need in the world and they could really make a difference.

  42. 42
    Persia says:

    Speaking of Chia Pets, since this is an open thread, has anyone else encountered the chia seed phenomenon? Some guy who wrote a best-selling novel fetishizing the, and I quote, “blissful Tarahumara Indians” talked about how the Tarahumara use chia seeds for endurance, and now every running douche has to have a bucket full. Apparently there’s now a chia shortage. Don’t these guys remember the acai berry craze?

  43. 43
    Amir Khalid says:

    @aimai:
    Mitt pulled the Upper-class Twit of All Time move by travelling to London without his manners. Obama would have to suffer a massive attack of stupid to even consider appointing Mitt US ambassador to anywhere. That said, Mitt’s sense of entitlement might indeed lead him to believe that Obama, whose job he tried to take by lies and insinuations, now owes him a prestigious government job.

  44. 44
    Elizabelle says:

    @cathyx:

    From your lips.

    Will be interesting to watch and see if Romney has enough social awareness to attempt some great good that does not benefit him and his (financially) first.

  45. 45
    JordanRules says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yup!! I get so much concentrated life here wrapped in a beautiful, snarky package.

  46. 46
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Elizabelle:

    Will be interesting to watch and see if Romney has enough social awareness to attempt some great good that does not benefit him and his (financially) first.

    Was he visited by a dead business partner and three other ghosts?

  47. 47
    Downpuppy says:

    @Elizabelle: Thanks for the Tabi link. Story was OK. Photoes were knockout.

  48. 48
    Roger Moore says:

    @aimai:

    Second choice? Uzbekhistan.

    If that’s the same place as Uzbekibekibekistan, he’ll have to get in line behind Herman Cain.

  49. 49
    WereBear says:

    @cathyx: It is sad that people with as much money and position as Mitt and Ann don’t go into philanthropy and really make a difference in people’s and communities lives. There is so much basic need in the world and they could really make a difference.

    Oh GOSH yes. I don’t understand how someone could have so much freakin’ money and do so little with it.

    *Start an actual business instead of a vampire version.

    *Do something for MS or breast cancer; Ann loves to talk about her illnesses when it comes to helping Mitt run for something.

    *Horses need rescue. A lot.

    And that’s just off the top of my head. They could do all three things and not even see a dent in the money mountain they roll around in.

    But instead they cheat on their tithe to the Mormons and whine a lot. Cripes!

  50. 50
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    OOM needs to “move on” into “oblivion”.

  51. 51
    Roger Moore says:

    @Elizabelle:

    I don’t see how you go to Haiti and not be moved.

    I don’t either, but I have confidence that Mitt Romney would find a way.

  52. 52
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Elizabelle:

    I don’t see how you go to Haiti and not be moved.

    This is because you are a decent human being.

    Which is why if you’re in the room with Mittens and Anntoinette, you’re the one who’s not like the others.

  53. 53
    WereBear says:

    And about Christmas pressure: I try not to have any. This is not supposed to be the season of feeling guilty you aren’t doing every possible thing in the world.

    Unless of course you enjoy that.

  54. 54
    General Stuck says:

    Manny Pacquiao never saw it coming. He never saw the punch that snapped his head back Saturday and dropped him to the canvas and left him sprawled there momentarily, face down, while his wife sobbed uncontrollably and the packed crowd at MGM’s Grand Garden Arena rose to its feet in shock.

    Nothing in the world smells like that. Christmas spirit in America.

  55. 55
    BD of MN says:

    here in the Twin Cities, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and I’m about to start my last week at my current employer. Last May our small cadre of truck drivers voted to organize, and the company’s response at the very first bargaining session was that there wasn’t going to be any bargaining, since they were simply going to outsource the trucking to a local carrier. (cost savings or something, they said…) Luckily, a class A license and a clean driving record pretty much makes you eminently employable; the union currently has three companies looking for drivers, so I’m going to take my severance package, take the last two weeks of the year off, and be a new employee at the bottom of the heap come the first week of the new year…

  56. 56
    J R in WV says:

    Mitt and Ann will probably donate to homeless dressage ponies and a fund to repair broken car elevators. Not being able to imagine anything more horrible than a homeless pony and all. After all, they’ve demonstrated a total lack of empathy in public over and over again.

    I think Ambassador to Haiti would be a good thing for Mittster Willaird [which is how to properly spell his name with an appropriate prefix].

    I have a lot of respect for Ellen, it can’t be easy opening yourself up to all that hatred of the ignorant. The rest of the gay community too, of course.

  57. 57
    amk says:

    @Elizabelle: The bot is more likely to go there and stupidly grin and say ‘who let the dogs out’.

  58. 58
    burnspbesq says:

    City 2-3 United. Great game.

  59. 59
    mellowjohn says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: you left out mac people and PC people.

  60. 60
    WaterGirl says:

    @hep kitty: I guess you missed the thread a few weeks ago where Cole was talking about life in school after the military and the friends he made, some of whom were gay, and his love for them and their families.

  61. 61
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Downpuppy:

    I think they visited Eugene and got some ideas from the school associated with the Fighting Fashion Nightmares.

  62. 62
    Maude says:

    @Wag:
    Here in NJ they have tree farms. A woman I know got a cut tree and loaded it on top of her mini van. She said it was huge. She got stopped by a cop and he escorted her home because the mini van was so top heavy. She got something as large a few weeks later and put it on top of the mini van. She was stopped again by the same cop and he again escorted her home.
    She promised not to do it again. She didn’t.

  63. 63
    Amir Khalid says:

    Now that Mitt has managed to jinx the Philippines’ greatest sporting hero, I can think of another country that would not welcome him as US ambassador.

  64. 64
    Woodrowfan says:

    Ah Betty, I thought of you yesterday at a Christmas reception as I was cornered by an elderly woman who, while talking about everything and anything, somehow got onto people who keep chickens as pets and how dangerous chickens were, how they carry all sorts of diseases, and why can’t you just buy your eggs in a store, etc. etc., and then she moved on. Eventually she was distracted and I fled. (Her husband was quite interesting, once you separated them). But, as I stood then trying to inch my way to the shrimp plate, I thought of your chickens and wanted to say “but I read a blog by a woman who keeps chickens and…” but I had trouble getting any words in edgewise…

  65. 65
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but MoDo’s column today is pretty good.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12.....ation.html

  66. 66
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @General Stuck:

    Manny Pacquiao never saw it coming.

    Well, obviously, another point of similarity with the Marquis du Mittens.

  67. 67
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @mellowjohn:

    @SiubhanDuinne: you left out mac people and PC people.

    Scots-Irish vs. Politically Correct?

  68. 68
    Gindy51 says:

    @Amir Khalid: He could try UT. He might win there, after all he is at least the right religion.

  69. 69
    Schlemizel says:

    @Persia:

    Yeah, there is a whole underground thing about chia seeds – typical “nectar of the gods reason Ancient Mayans were supermen source of special power and wisdom” BS that usually accompanies this sort of thing. I found out about it while looking for meatless recipes. I can share one but have not tried them yet.

  70. 70
    Gindy51 says:

    @Elizabelle: Palin went and it didnt’t change one thing about her.

  71. 71
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You’re right, it is pretty good. I liked this in particular:

    But another sign of the old guard’s denial came on Friday, a month after the election, when the Romney campaign ebulliently announced that it raised $85.9 million in the final weeks of the campaign, making its fund-raising effort “the most successful in Republican Party history.”

    WTF? You losers got your asses kicked all over the fucking place by a ni*CLANG*.

    Someone find a clue by four and use it upside the head of Stuart Stevens.

  72. 72
    MattF says:

    Aaaand… all those brilliant columnists who gloated over how Ann was going to be Mitt’s ‘secret weapon’? I could have pointed out that if a political candidate needs a secret weapon, there’s a problem there… but sometimes you have to let people figure things out for themselves.

  73. 73
    scav says:

    @Woodrowfan: I believe the correct conversational gambit here is to flutter the eyelashes , up the voice an octav and open with “Chickens!? Do you know how many children SUVs run down in a year? And they blow Ohver!”

    The high fluttering is the only crucial bit. The choking hazards posed by badly plated canapés can be substituted.

  74. 74
  75. 75
    Woodrowfan says:

    @scav: At that point I was about ready to chew a leg off to escape…. 8-)

  76. 76
    Schlemizel says:

    @WaterGirl:

    PLEASE! don’t get in the way of the FP hate porn here. I have come to enjoy the genre. The favorite examples are people who stop by mixie or abl or dougie posts not to comment on the ideas or to add to the conversation but to whine about the OP & how all their posts are the same and/or suck or how they are an idiot. The best examples contain obvious ignorance of recent posts (as this one did). Hep gets full marks for missing that but the rest of the post lacks the vitriol that makes the winning comments the true gems they are

  77. 77
    Roger Moore says:

    @MattF:
    Ann was Mitt’s secret weapon. She was a foot gun of unprecedented power and accuracy.

  78. 78
    NonyNony says:

    @hep kitty:

    . Does the man ever pump his own gas in the Romney world? Costco? Really?

    Unless you drive around with your own highly trained helper monkey to pump the gas for you, where are you going to get someone else to fill your big-ass car with gas when you need it? I don’t remember if NJ still requires full service stations by law, but anywhere else in the country it’s been pump it your own damn self for decades.

    And Romney wouldn’t have a chauffeur. At least not all of the time. Having a personal driver is a mark of status, but being able to drive is a mark of “mahood” in this country. Romney has enough status marks in his life. He needs a few more manhood ones.

    Also too – probably why he’s at a boxing match.

  79. 79
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @NonyNony:

    NJ and OR are the two hold out states on requiring service stations to provide the service of pumping gas.

    There was a ballot initiative a few years back in OR to change that, and it was soundly defeated. No one bought the lame argument that it would make gasoline cheaper in Oregon if we didn’t have attendants. Everyone knew that the gas station owners would simply pocket the change.

  80. 80
    Gretchen says:

    II haven’t done anything about Christmas either. Having to listen to “Holly Jolly Christmas” and “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” all day, every day at work is enough to suck all the Christmas spirit out of me. I’ll wait till a few days before to put up a tree.

  81. 81
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    The all-too-obvious comeback:
    “Did that $85.9 million make Mitt Romney the President-elect? No; it was just more donors’ money that you achieved nothing with. So what do you really have to brag about?”

  82. 82
    scav says:

    Ha! You lot just need to embrace the inner tradition — that or steal it. Comes in handy. Nothing up before Dec 24th (cooking allowed) and all down on the 6th. Anyone gives you stick , throw them a stern teutonic look and babble about Advent. Any flashy stuff that manages to crawl up while you’re not looking is utterly not your fault and Fa-la-la-la I don’t see it!

  83. 83
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    I do believe I woke up in a parallel universe this a.m. Ben Stein is on CBS Sunday Morning and he’s making sense.

    Quick someone wake me.

  84. 84
    Linda Featheringill says:

    I’m working on a list of likely Republican members of the House that I can harass from time to time and am REALLY TIRED of looking at pictures of white males.

    If I had more melanin in my skin, I would really be discouraged by now. Geez!

  85. 85
    MattF says:

    @TaMara (BHF): There’s both ‘Good Ben’ and ‘Bad Ben’. Good Ben can sound pretty good, but Bad Ben is awful.

  86. 86
    Shalimar says:

    @cathyx: There are plenty of exceptions, but entitled people with money who go into philanthropy are usually condescending pains-in-the-ass to work with. They always seem to find a way to make sure you know how beneath them you are.

  87. 87
    NonyNony says:

    @cathyx:

    It is sad that people with as much money and position as Mitt and Ann don’t go into philanthropy and really make a difference in people’s and communities lives. There is so much basic need in the world and they could really make a difference.

    But Mitt TRIED! He ran for President for Pete’s sake! Don’t you know what kind of pay cut he would have taken for 4-8 years all in the name of his philanthropy?

    Seriously though – listening to Romney if he believes even half of the garbage he spewed during the campaign season (especially the bits when he didn’t think the “wrong people” were listening) then I don’t see why he’d even believe in philanthropy. Half the country is a bunch of lazy shiftless layabouts who don’t deserve anything, so why be philanthropic?

    He’s the kind of guy I’d like to steer towards the “museums and orchestras” philanthropy track. Or maybe making building donations to universities with his name on it. That way the money does some good, frees up money for other philanthropists to shift to other areas, and he gets his ego stroked so he continues to donate money elsewhere.

  88. 88
    WaterGirl says:

    @MattF: Between Ben Stein and someone saying Maureen Dowd’s column was pretty good, I thought maybe it was opposite day.

    @Schlemizel: My apologies!

  89. 89
    WaterGirl says:

    I try to do all my christmas stuff early while it’s still fun, but when things get crazy, I do repeat something I learned from a former co-worker:

    Christmas is a season, not an obligation.

    It works best if you say it out loud, sometimes more than once.

  90. 90
    Elizabelle says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    Maureen Dowd’s column today is amazing. Thanks for head’s up, Siubhan.

    And Ben Stein making sense the same day. Hmmmm.

    From MoDo: A Lost Civilization

    The Mayans were right, as it turns out, when they predicted the world would end in 2012. It was just a select world: the G.O.P. universe of arrogant, uptight, entitled, bossy, retrogressive white guys.
    __
    …Instead of smallpox, plagues, drought and Conquistadors, the Republican decline will be traced to a stubborn refusal to adapt to a world where poor people and sick people and black people and brown people and female people and gay people count.
    __
    As the historian Will Durant observed, “A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.”

    Just wow.

  91. 91
    hep kitty says:

    I just realized

    I miss Herman Cain SOOOO MUCH!

  92. 92
    Jennifer says:

    The whole Costco thing surprised me because I thought Mitt would rather support Sam’s Club, since it’s owned by Wal-Mart and Wal-Mart has the good sense to pay the plebes slave wages. I would think he would consider Costco too uppity.

    I must have missed the “leave Mitt ALLLOOOOONNNEE!” bit that some have referred to. I was wondering myself the other day about why it continues to be fun to point out that Mitt’s a loser. It wasn’t so much with John McCain, who was also a wealthy guy; I’m guessing it’s because McCain kinda comes off as a tragic figure after the way he degraded himself to pander to the base. You at least got the feeling that it pained him somewhat to have to do and say some of what he did and said while campaigning. And to have to do it with the Palin millstone, which while self-inflicted, he certainly could not have predicted to be the huge disaster it was. Romney, on the other hand, having had no principles other than “I’m a rich guy who’s better than you, therefore I DESERVE to be president,” behaved pretty much the way you would expect a guy with no principles to behave, like water finding its own level. So it’s kind of hard not to continue to find humor and joy in pointing out that he’s a LOSER. Kind of like how it still doesn’t feel wrong to point out that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

  93. 93

    @hep kitty:

    Also, I think these folks are just SO out of touch, they really DO believe they could win if the circumstances were different. They are so doped up on their privilege, their “good people beget good people” BS, they think they are entitled to it. They think if it weren’t for the black stuff, and the “free stuff,” and those stupid white trash Teanuts who ruined it for them, they’d be planning their inauguration right now. They are so out of touch with the populate zeitgeist. They don’t get that a Wall Street capitalist is seen as the problem, not the solution.

  94. 94
    Mandalay says:

    @Ash Can:

    I’m honestly surprised to see that the Romneys are boxing fans.

    I don’t think they are:

    Romney and his wife, Ann, were guests of Nevada State Athletic Commission chairman Bill Brady at the fight at the MGM Grand hotel arena. Brady hosted a fundraiser for Romney during the presidential campaign.

    The only smell worse than Romney’s loser stink is his privilege stink.

  95. 95
    gogol's wife says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Yes, that is so true. I’m always quoting people from Balloon Juice, with all the different, interesting perspectives. Even mclaren’s.

  96. 96
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Southern Beale: he could have run as a governor, but he chose the businessman angle. And it was weak as stories go. We loves us some rags to riches stories here, but riches to more riches isn’t that compelling. No one actually believed GWB was this grand business mastermind because he had an MBA and sat on a few corporate boards. Kerry through his wife is probably wealthier than mitt. But Kerry wasn’t running as the guy who gets money every time you put Heinz 57 on your hamburger.

  97. 97
    gogol's wife says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    LOL.

  98. 98
    JohnK says:

    @Persia: I eat 3 tbsp of chia daily, They fit into the my nutrition goal but I don’t know about acai berries. Seams like a pretty trivial thing to worry about.

  99. 99
    Schlemizel says:

    @WaterGirl:

    No, thats OK – I just think its hilarious when we can laugh at them behind their backs. I used to correct them but realized that their individual hatred for certain OPs prevent them from either seeing the pointlessness of their comments while somehow preventing them from ignoring them.

    I tried really hard to engage Bernie on his two recent posts (I was going to say ridiculously stupid but that my just be me. Had he bothered to stick around and engage in a discussion perhaps I would have seen he meant something other than the twaddle his posts seemed on first reading). But Bernie didn’t bother to respond so I have two choices. I could flame him every time he posts or ignore him. Since the history here of flamers is they don’t read posts flaming is extra effort for no benefit. Bernie has proven he is not worth the effort so why put myself out?

    Now, except for Cole, none of the OPs that the flamers like to cry about ignore the conversation that follows\ but I think that its the same deal. If you hate them so much you don’t read them why bother commenting?

  100. 100
    Persia says:

    @JohnK: I’m not worried about it, I just get annoyed by the bandwagon hopping. Your use seems pretty smart (having a nutrition goal in the first place rather than discovering the new superfood and going crazy, for example).

  101. 101
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Jennifer:

    It wasn’t so much with John McCain, who was also a wealthy guy; I’m guessing it’s because McCain kinda comes off as a tragic figure after the way he degraded himself to pander to the base.

    For me, it was when McCain (who, as you may not know, was a POW in Vietnam), a guy who was tortured in captivity, embraced another guy who authorized torture and apparently enjoyed hearing about it, if not watching videos of it being performed, because McCain’s ambition to run for President demanded that McCain embrace the guy who authorized the very methods McCain was painfully subjected to, demonstrating that he basically learned NOTHING from his experience in the Hanoi Hilton.

    McCain could have been the moral light of this country, simply by saying “been there, done that” and leading those outraged by the actions of the deserting coward and his Dark Lord puppetmaster. But no. McCain’s abject slavery to his ambition stripped him of the last vestiges of honor he may have once had.

    Now he’s an utter disgrace to the uniform he once wore. Much like the war criminal Allan West.

  102. 102
    Shadows mom says:

    I don’t normally shop at JCP, but OMM inspired me when I wanted cocktail gear for my work’s holiday party last night. Found extremely helpful staff, great dress and cute shoes for < 100. Thank you OMM!

  103. 103
    Shadows mom says:

    I don’t normally shop at JCP, but OMM inspired me when I wanted cocktail gear for my work’s holiday party last night. Found extremely helpful staff, great dress and cute shoes for < 100. Thank you OMM!

  104. 104
    Hill Dweller says:

    The Twitter machine is saying David Gregory was already blaming Obama for a potential recession on Meet the Republicans this morning.

  105. 105
    handsmile says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: , @gogol’s wife:

    The absence of a certain M. Chan (and subsequent aliases) from the commentariat has contributed to a marked decline in the “diversity of opinion” on this blog.

    How I miss “Cudlips!” as a term of debate.

  106. 106
    Schlemizel says:

    @Elizabelle:

    Have not read MODOpe yet but Ben Stain actually made sense this morning – I believe this means the Mayans were correct!

    The Minneapolis paper had an article this AM about the state GOP trying to rebuild on the shatter remains of their ignorant party. They are ONLY 1.5 million in debt at the moment without a single state office holder to beg for them 8-{D

    The party decided now was not the time to again purge impure members (they did last year purge a former Gov & US Senator both because they had the audacity to disagree with the party). But they still have a major problem as the Paultards took over a lot of important roles & now are not that excited about the GOP or working with the Chritianist crackpots. That makes me happy

    Also a story about Colin Peterson, one of the last Blew Dogs. I can feel sorry for him in that he is a Dem that gets elected in an R district for the last 22 years but the whining about how he no longer get all the attention or get to play king maker made me want to kick him in the nads

  107. 107
    Amir Khalid says:

    @handsmile:
    Now that you mention it, sometimes I kind of miss being called a “maftoon”.

  108. 108
    JPL says:

    @Shadows mom: Because of omm, I found some curtains at JCP and the store manager helped me.

  109. 109
    Mandalay says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    McCain could have been the moral light of this country, simply by saying “been there, done that” and leading those outraged by the actions of the deserting coward and his Dark Lord puppetmaster. But no. McCain’s abject slavery to his ambition stripped him of the last vestiges of honor he may have once had.

    Exactly right. McCain was sincerely and vocally opposed to U.S. use torture until it looked like it would kill his presidential ambitions.

    After that, not so much.

  110. 110
    kc says:

    @Roger Moore:

    He’d probably manage to insult the entire country as well.

  111. 111
    BGinCHI says:

    Props to Betty for the ND curse idea.

    I only wish they were playing someone besides Alabama.

  112. 112
    Mnemosyne says:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    Ben Stein frequently makes sense, right up to the closing sentences where the conclusion he comes to is the complete opposite of everything he’s been saying and he seems to have no awareness that he’s completely contradicted himself.

    Be cautious while reading or watching Stein — the 180s can cause whiplash in the unprepared.

    For sheer stupidity, my favorite Stein column was one I stumbled across while doing research about the Mel Brooks movie, The Producers, where Stein gets very indignant about Brooks making fun of the Nazis because Stein’s father-in-law (note: not even his actual father, his FIL) was an officer in WWII. He made this very strange assumption that since Mel Brooks is a liberal, of course he must not have served in WWII, when in fact Brooks was one of the guys who cleared bombs and mines out of the road ahead of the army’s advance so Stein’s officer future FIL could drive down those roads in comfort.

  113. 113
    Schlemizel says:

    @Mandalay:

    It is odd that ‘we’ tend to give McCain a pass on his awful behavior which is worse that Willards only because of McCains history of service in an illegal and immoral war and his torture.

    Somehow McCain is a tragic figure. Willard had all the advantages of wealth & connections so that makes him come off as more of a privileged fop. Its true That McCain had his way greased in his small world by a grandfather and father with long Navy connection. Somehow thats ignored and his history is tragic.

  114. 114
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Mnemosyne: Damn! I didn’t know that about Brooks. Funny AND brave!

  115. 115
    MikeJ says:

    @Betty Cracker: It takes a comedian to know about bombs.

  116. 116
    Schlemizel says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Ben Stain is another wingnut who is where he is simply because he was the lucky sperm. I never read him because I have never seen him do anything other than make up justifications for what the master class wants; not logical or moral consistency. I usually end up muting him on Sunday Morning because I fear for the safety of my TV. I didn’t today & wsa stunned that he actually was making sense – I must have still be in shock at the end as I didn’t hear him add the NOT!

  117. 117
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Schlemizel:

    Maybe he ran out of time before he could get to it.

  118. 118
    handsmile says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    I remember she had a special term of affection of you, but couldn’t quite recall it. If you’d like I’d be happy to hurl that at you occasionally, though perhaps that would be unseemly. :)

  119. 119
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Josie:

    There are other people in the world who actually remember Lil Abner and Joe Btfsplk, in addition to being evil liberals.

    Ah, but do you remember “Scram gravy ain’t wavy”?

  120. 120
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Schlemizel:

    but Ben Stain actually made sense this morning

    IMO, the only time Ben “I am a Creationist” Stein ever came close to making any sense was when he answered Jimmy Kimmel’s questions on “Win Ben Stein’s Money”. This guy is an indolent fool.

  121. 121
    Maude says:

    @handsmile:
    She spammed the threads and posted so many times, you couldn’t read the comments. No thanks, she can stay away.

  122. 122
    AA+ Bonds says:

    “Hello Manny. I ran for president. I lost,” Romney told the fighter, according to Pacquiao publicist Fred Sternburg.

    To Manny’s credit, Pacquiao probably pretended he didn’t know who Mitt Romney was.

  123. 123
    AA+ Bonds says:

    EXCLUSION! THE MOTHERFUCKING SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS, LET’S ALL BE THE INNKEEPER

  124. 124
    AA+ Bonds says:

    @handsmile:

    The absence of a certain M. Chan (and subsequent aliases) from the commentariat has contributed to a marked decline in the “diversity of opinion” on this blog.

    It’s certainly led to a decline in threads about Middle East news that actually discuss the Middle East instead of Rachel Maddow or whatever.

  125. 125
    Chris says:

    @NonyNony:

    “BUT HE TRIED!” indeed. LOL!

    When I picture Mitt Romney since the election, I imagine it must look a lot like the Winklevoss twins being told over and over what a close race it was.

  126. 126
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @handsmile:
    Do you also miss MyIQ2XU? To me, there’s a difference between diversity of opinion and running-off-at-the-mouth shittrolling.

  127. 127
    Brachiator says:

    Romney and his wife, Ann, were guests of Nevada State Athletic Commission chairman Bill Brady at the fight at the MGM Grand hotel arena. Brady hosted a fundraiser for Romney during the presidential campaign.

    It never ceases to amaze me how Romney’s natural inclination is to run with the plutocrats. And the non- wealthy wingnuts who supported Mitt are still in deep denial about a man who clearly views them as a bunch of chumps.

    And all these oligarchs who worked so hard to raise money for Mitt must be sooo disappointed to see their hopes and dreams dashed.

    @Schlemizel:

    It is odd that ‘we’ tend to give McCain a pass on his awful behavior which is worse that Willards only because of McCains history of service in an illegal and immoral war and his torture.

    I don’t think it odd at all. Nor is anyone giving McCain a total pass.

  128. 128
    handsmile says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    Evidently, the sarcasm intended in my comment #105 needed a little more vermouth.

    Though for the record, while I frequently found M. Chan’s manner to be obnoxious and her prose style impenetrable, more than occasionally she linked to articles/websites that I regarded as worthwhile. Not familiar with MylQ,,; perhaps before my time here (since 2010).

    Vastly more important, I want to say that I hope your wife and yourself are recovering smoothly from her recent medical issues.

  129. 129
    Brachiator says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    For sheer stupidity, my favorite Stein column was one I stumbled across while doing research about the Mel Brooks movie, The Producers, where Stein gets very indignant about Brooks making fun of the Nazis because Stein’s father-in-law (note: not even his actual father, his FIL) was an officer in WWII. He made this very strange assumption that since Mel Brooks is a liberal, of course he must not have served in WWII

    Wow. Stein was all kinds of stupid here, with a stupid cherry on top. Stupid and lazy. To assume that Brooks would not have served during a time when enlisting and serving when drafted was the norm, and not to have done any biographical research, just dumb. But then again, Stein’s entire premise was dumb.

  130. 130
    👽 Martin says:

    My teenage son, channel surfing settled on Maddow. Observing him, Ms Marvel shoots me an approving look. I reply “Look! A teenage boy who knows the right situation to stare at lesbians!”

    My mom is not settled on my liberal parenting style.

  131. 131
    Brachiator says:

    My favorite line from MoDo’s column:

    President Obama’s victory margin is expanding, as more votes are counted. He didn’t just beat Romney; he’s still beating him.

  132. 132

    […] then back to the fight, back to the sixth round and picking-up the Times (h/t Balloon Juice): He never saw the punch that snapped his head back Saturday and dropped him to the canvas and left […]

  133. 133
    WaterGirl says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Hope you are still here to see my comment.

    First of all, good wishes for you and your wife.

    I didn’t quite understand what you meant in your comments about your wife, but shortly after I read your comment I read a couple of letters in a magazine I just picked up for the first time, and I wondered if maybe they were saying something similar to what you had said about your wife.

    I will share the comments just in case, wondering if your wife might enjoy this magazine while she recuperates.

    I”ve had a recurring feeling throughout my life that I arrive at shore just as my ship pulls away from the dock. Ever since I subscribed to The Sun, I feel as if my ship sails into my mailbox every month.

    and

    I read recently that people become disconnected from the rest of the world because of quick news flashes that don’t give us time to think about what is happening and what it might mean. For me, reading The Sun is a way to slow down and understand deeply what another person is going through, good or bad. The writing is raw, but so is life. This isn’t some sugar-coated existence. I think such understanding creates compassion. That’s what I value about The Sun.

    If these bear no relation to what you were trying to say about your wife, please know that I shared these with good intention, at least!

  134. 134
    ciotog says:

    I juat watched the documentary The Queen of Versailles last night. Best argument for a 90% top marginal income tax rate ever. The Romneys being the second best argument.

  135. 135
    Jay C says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Has any American politician ever been elected Governor in two different states?

    Yes: but so far, just one: Sam Houston.

  136. 136
    Tehanu says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    McCain could have been the moral light of this country, simply by saying “been there, done that” and leading those outraged by the actions of the deserting coward and his Dark Lord puppetmaster. But no. McCain’s abject slavery to his ambition stripped him of the last vestiges of honor he may have once had.

    Every word is true, and that’s why it’s tragic. It also shows that suffering does not necessarily ennoble.

  137. 137
    Cacti says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    Does he have a home in Utah? He used to. He could probably get elected there, but surely not again in Massachusetts or in NH or CA where his other stately mansions are.

    Romney is a rockstar among Mormons. He could have his pick federal or state elected offices in Utah. He could probably primary Orrin Hatch and win if he wanted to.

  138. 138
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @WaterGirl:
    Thank you My wife was an unwitting immigrant to these fair shores. She was derided and teased mercilessly for things about her that it isn’t necessary to explain. For whatever reasons, some of us are not altogether of this world.

  139. 139
    Cacti says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    He made this very strange assumption that since Mel Brooks is a liberal, of course he must not have served in WWII, when in fact Brooks was one of the guys who cleared bombs and mines out of the road ahead of the army’s advance so Stein’s officer future FIL could drive down those roads in comfort.

    Not only did he serve, Mel Brooks voluntarily enlisted at age 17.

    Ben Stein isn’t worthy to shine his fucking shoes.

  140. 140
    WaterGirl says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: All the best to both of you.

  141. 141
    themann1086 says:

    I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope Mitt and Ann Romney decide to pay the Notre Dame Alabama locker room a visit prior to the BCS title game.

    FTFY ;)

  142. 142
    Ruckus says:

    @Elizabelle:
    Improving conditions in Haiti is a monstrous, and noble, job…
    That leaves out his mittness. He only talks a big gig and noble? Zomney? The only thing noble about him is his nose in the air attitude. Besides those people are poor and un-white.

  143. 143
    Patricia Kayden says:

    That part about Romney telling Pacquiao that he had run for the Presidency and lost (as if everyone doesn’t already know that) and then Pacquiao getting knocked the hell out was too funny. Ms. Cracker needs to write for SNL.

  144. 144
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @MattF: I thought they were trying to counter Michelle Obama’s general likability. Ann is nowhere close to being as charming as Michelle. Too bad for The Bot.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] then back to the fight, back to the sixth round and picking-up the Times (h/t Balloon Juice): He never saw the punch that snapped his head back Saturday and dropped him to the canvas and left […]

Comments are closed.