Mayans And Alan Simpson 1, Universe, 0

We’re all doomed.  Alan Simpson is doing the pony dance.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/kjLuj0EhsQg” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

I need to go outside a paint a giant X so the meteor knows where to land and all.  Maybe a nice bowl of Meteor Chow, too.  It’s probably hungry after the long trip.  It would have less of a devastating impact on the country than Alan Simpson’s dumbass plan, with the exception of the nifty crater.

Carry on, then.  I’ll be at the store getting some supplies.  Gonna miss Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA beer though.  Shame.

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115 replies
  1. 1
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    What’s on the video? All videos either need to come with a description or, preferably, a transcript.

  2. 2
    clussman says:

    Oh come on now. We’re the side with a sense of humor, remember? That was pretty funny. I give him credit for trying and for even knowing that Instagram is a thing. It’s a long way from a series of tubes.

  3. 3
    Steeplejack says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    It’s Alan Simpson juking Gangnam style in support of his “fix the deficit” site. And by “juking” I mean “teetering unsteadily in advance of breaking a hip.”

  4. 4
    El Cid says:

    Could all of you fucking young people drop everything you’re doing and fuck over everyone you know so old fuckers like me can feel better that our and other rich people’s money won’t ever go to anybody other than us?

    Could all of you responsible young folk please just finally grow up, understand the importance of this issue, and agree to shoot the vast majority of your fellow citizens in the equivalent of their fucking heads so that people can feel a lot better about the chance for struggling centi-millionaires to become billionaires, and billionaires to become trillionaires?

    Would you stop burdening the young with the dread threat of the super-rich feeling aggrieved and just all agree to live out the cool Mad Max future we think you deserve?

  5. 5
    Corner Stone says:

    It would have less of a devastating impact on the country than Alan Simpson’s dumbass plan,

    Alan Simpson has some kind of plan? How the heck can that be?
    I was told repeatedly that since BS never came out of committee that it would go the way of the DoDo and would never be heard from again.

  6. 6
    Corner Stone says:

    @El Cid:

    Could all of you fucking young people drop everything you’re doing and fuck over everyone you know so old fuckers like me can feel better that our and other rich people’s money won’t ever go to anybody other than us?

    Sure, I think I could do that.

  7. 7
    Schlemizel says:

    @El Cid:

    Sounds like a plan. Bearing down on 61 myself I see no down side to this. How do we get everyone else to jump off the bridge?

  8. 8
    mdblanche says:

    “You damn kids and your music, get off my lawn and do what I tell you.”

    I see the Republican youth outreach strategy is the same as all their other new outreach strategies to people who won’t vote for them.

  9. 9
    Knockabout says:

    Such trenchant and useful commentary from the most worthless of the front pagers. Yawn.

  10. 10
    MattF says:

    I like the concept of setting out a bowl of Meteor Chow. But I also think that Simpson has a realistic view of the dignity of the title ‘Ex-Senator’. I can think of a few other ‘Ex’-something-or-others who should be taking notes.

  11. 11
    KG says:

    with the exception of the nifty crater

    Didn’t the last meteor give us the Gulf of Mexico, allegedly? I’ve been to the Gulf Coast, it’s lovely in the places I’ve seen, so maybe that won’t even be bad.

    ETA: ok, maybe it was just plate tectonics, but I like the idea of a big boom causing it.

  12. 12
    JGabriel says:

    __
    __
    Shorter Simpson: “We must cut Social Security now, to save it from being cut twenty-five years from now!

    .

  13. 13
    KG says:

    Also, too, can someone please explain to me the appeal of IPAs? Seriously, I don’t get it. Love stouts and ales, lagers and pilsners are acceptable, but IPAs are like drinking distilled gym sock sweat. Is it just because they’re strong?

  14. 14
    jl says:

    @JGabriel: I will have to watch it later, but did he add in his schtick about how we can’t pay back the trust fund for lesser people that does not exist because we, your betters, have spent it on other things, and the money is ‘gone’ now?

  15. 15
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Knockabout: oh look, the most useless of Fp stackers. Yawn.

  16. 16
    El Cid says:

    @Schlemizel: It depends on how many millions you got. If you ain’t into the tens of millions of dollars (we’re talking money here, not just property), then you too can enjoy the fun of having the young folk do what good concerned principled conservatives like Simpson want, hand Social Security monee to Wall Street to fund another casino bubble for a while, hand you a coupon and promise you it’ll be good for some sort of non-Medicare insurance or whatnot, and moving in with whatever relatives or younger folk you know so someone can spoon feed you the fridge leftovers about to go bad until you have the decency to die off.

  17. 17
    BGinCHI says:

    Was Bart Simpson not available?

    There are nearly 300 million people in this country, several thousand universities, and we are thinking about listening to the stupidest among us?

    When will Paul Krugman become as large as Godzilla and start ravaging our cities?

  18. 18
    Knockabout says:

    Can Zandar take a long vacation from this blog too ?

  19. 19
    Short Bus Bully says:

    Uh……

    This Republican outreach to the youth of America thing is going to have to step up it’s game JUST A FUCKING LITTLE BIT.

  20. 20
    weaselone says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Why would he ravage the cities? Wouldn’t the suburbs and rural areas be Krugzilla’s more natural targets along with the occasional foray into a major urban area to take out a right wing think tank?

  21. 21
    El Cid says:

    You kids get off of my lawn and get ready to work on it!

  22. 22
    The Moar You Know says:

    Didn’t the last meteor give us the Gulf of Mexico, allegedly?

    @KG: No such luck, the impact crater wasn’t nearly that big.

    Big enough to rain down fiery death on almost every corner of the globe, though. And to leave us with a neat cave system down in the Yucatan that fills up with water, the cenotes.

  23. 23
    Roger Moore says:

    @KG:
    Some people like hoppy beer, and IPA gives it to them. A really good IPA has a lot of the aromatic, flavorful part of the hops, too, not just the bitterness. If you’re more of a malt person, an IPA isn’t necessarily going to appeal to you. That said, if you ever get a chance to try Pliny the Elder, do not pass it up.

  24. 24
    Corner Stone says:

    Just more to love about how the Village really works:
    Obamacare architect leaves White House for pharmaceutical industry job
    Yes, it’s a GG link.
    “The pharmaceutical giant that just hired Fowler actively supported the passage of Obamacare through its membership in the Pharmaceutical Researchers and Manufacturers of America (PhRMA) lobby. Indeed, PhRMA was one of the most aggressive supporters – and most lavish beneficiaries – of the health care bill drafted by Fowler. Mother Jones’ James Ridgeway proclaimed “Big Pharma” the “big winner” in the health care bill. And now, Fowler will receive ample rewards from that same industry as she peddles her influence in government and exploits her experience with its inner workings to work on that industry’s behalf, all of which has been made perfectly legal by the same insular, Versailles-like Washington culture that so lavishly benefits from all of this.”

  25. 25
    ShadeTail says:

    What are you doing, Zandar? Don’t call the meteor here, have it land in Isreal. That would solve at least 50% of the Middle East problem in one fell swoop (or one swell foop).

  26. 26
    Cassidy says:

    @KG: No, you’re right; they taste like shit.

  27. 27
    djork says:

    Hoppy beer = hangover for Djork.

  28. 28
    Randy P says:

    It’s kind of weird how every front-pager has their own personal troll here. Does John run some kind of breeding farm and pull one out of the cage when awarding you FP status? Is there some sort of secret ceremony? Do you have to go on a Troll Vision Quest to find your own?

  29. 29
    Corner Stone says:

    @weaselone:

    Why would he ravage the cities?

    ROI. He’s an economist first, society destroying monster second.
    You’d get awful damn hungry stomping from county to county in Texas once you get West past Austin. And isn’t there like one decent size city’s worth of population if you combine like Wyoming, ND and SD?

  30. 30
    muddy says:

    @Cassidy: Excessive hops = skunk piss. I’m more for the ale.

  31. 31
    JGabriel says:

    __
    __
    Knockabout:

    Such trenchant and useful commentary from the most worthless of the front pagers.

    So, I just looked up some of your previous comments, Knockabout, and it seems you mostly restrict yourself to commenting on Zandar’s posts.

    That’s awfully odd behavior for someone who claims not to like him. In fact, you seem obsessed with Zandar — and stalking him — as if you’d been romantically or sexually rejected by him in the past.

    It’s a bit sad, really.

    .

  32. 32
    Corner Stone says:

    Jeez, Rex Ryan looks like a broken man and that he has completely quit on this team.

  33. 33
    ShadeTail says:

    @JGabriel:
    But very very funny.

  34. 34
    Cassidy says:

    @muddy: I like lagers, pilsners, ales, mostly wheats though, but I just can’t enjoy IPA’s. I’ve tried them. I revisit them occassionally, but I’d rather kill the beast.

  35. 35
    Ivan Ivanovich Renko says:

    Gonna miss Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA beer though.

    May I recommend Sixpoint Brewing’s “Resin” IPA? A most delightful brew, 9.1% ABV and hopped right to perfection.

    It’s good enough I’m still hoping for a meteor miss.

  36. 36

    If they can just conservasplain things and add some “hip” and “fresh” current cultural references, I’m sure all the young whipper snappers will come around to being proper deficit scolds.

  37. 37
    Joel says:

    @KG: IPAs are like the big trucks of beers. I’m not a fan of them myself. And I like virtually every kind of beer that is made. I even like Chicha.

  38. 38
    Roger Moore says:

    I need to go outside a paint a giant X so the meteor knows where to land and all. Maybe a nice bowl of Meteor Chow, too.

    Could you do it right outside of where ALEC (or whatever super-secret group is replacing it) is going to meet? That way if the meteor is only big enough to do local damage, it will take out a majority of our problems in one go.

  39. 39
    Roger Moore says:

    @Joel:

    And I like virtually every kind of beer that is made.

    How about Xingu?

  40. 40
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    “These old coots will clean out the treasury before you get there…”

    Well, I guess statistically older people did give more support to the people who cut taxes and declared a war of choice (among its other problems) at the same time.

  41. 41
    peach flavored shampoo says:

    Alan Simpson = Abe Simpson

  42. 42
    SatanicPanic says:

    @KG: I’m over the race to see who can jam the most hops into beer.

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Dork says:

    @JGabriel: Perhaps a self-deprecating sock-puppet by Zandar? Or maybe self-defecating?

  45. 45
    Cassidy says:

    @SatanicPanic: Maybe I’ll just go back to Lambic. I could be happy drinking Lambic and Wheat beer.

  46. 46
    muddy says:

    Tweety had Alan Simpson on his show last week (this week?) and Tweety was all excited to be talking to the great man, from the olden dayz with Tip etc. Of course Tweety does not share Simpson’s views at all, but olden dayz trumps.

    Tweety fascinates me. Yesterday he was saying something about urban vs. rural, but he started calling the rural people Cracker Barrel Country for some reason (started saying “cracker”?). His final words before commercial? “I love cheese!”

    http://cheezburger.com/1575866112 String, cheese, whatever. He’s like a SNL parody of himself sometimes, it’s tremendous. Every person he has on the show practically is his favorite, the best person evah! He’s dog-like in his enthusiasms. Can you imagine him around the house?

  47. 47
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @Corner Stone: #6

    “Could all of you fucking young people . . . ”

    Sure, I think I could do that.

    :-)

  48. 48
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Knockabout:

    Can fucktard stalker take a long vacation from this dimension?

  49. 49
    David in NY says:

    @JGabriel: @Dork:

    Really odd — especially since all his comments are basically ad hominem.

  50. 50
  51. 51
    raven says:

    Wanted: A good home for a flesh eating beetle starter colony. Requirements: Dark room kept at 85 degrees for three months, daily feeding, “misting”, not too much, not too little. Oy!

  52. 52
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @muddy:

    What’s the deal with him? Is there something in his past, like an internship at Tiger Beat, that would explain this behavior?

  53. 53
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @David in NY:

    Zandar didn’t call. Obviously.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    mdblanche says:

    @peach flavored shampoo: I thought that was an onion I saw tied to his belt.

    @rlrr: Now how could anyone object to that? Next thing you know you’ll be telling me Republicans have a problem with Asian American voters too.

  56. 56
    SatanicPanic says:

    @Cassidy: What’s Lambic? I’m not all that picky with beer, I just have a limited interest in hops.

  57. 57
    Chyron HR says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Sure, it’s been a couple years and Alan Simpson’s crazy old man rants are no closer than ever to becoming law, but HE STILL EXISTS. Check and mate, Obots!

  58. 58
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @muddy: Tweety fascinates me.

    There is something about watching all that unchecked id live on camera. And his infatuation with Simpson is long-standing. He and Fred Thompson used to fill in for Tweety, as TV hosts, while they were still sitting, if lame-duck, United States senators. Took my breath away. And he fawns all over elected Republicans in general. Tom Delay is always “Mr Leader”, and he scolded Joan Walsh for pointing out that Tom Davis– a moderate and a good guy, according to Tweety– was a an out-of-touch Malhtusian tool for referring to Obama’s “underclass” voters, then the next day devoted a whole segment, with other people, to Davis referring to Obama supporters as “the underclass”, even pointing out Davis’s “they dragged them out of their apartments” tic

    He’s like a SNL parody of himself sometimes, it’s tremendous.

    Darrell Hammond’s Tweety was always far sharper and more coherent than the real thing. Small wonder Tweety was so flattered by it.

  59. 59
    Corner Stone says:

    @muddy:

    Every person he has on the show practically is his favorite, the best person evah! He’s dog-like in his enthusiasms.

    He reminds me of Jon Gruden doing NFL games. Without fail there is someone playing who is the “best” at some specific thing.

  60. 60
  61. 61
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    O/T but Dave Brubeck has died age 91. RIP. Loved every one of his albums back in the day.

  62. 62
    Corner Stone says:

    @Chyron HR: Yeah and his plan has been accepted as default by all of established DC. So, nothing to see here! Pay no attention to the buffoon who is so out of touch with America he thinks we’re all sucking at cow teats!

  63. 63
  64. 64
    SatanicPanic says:

    @Cassidy: Ooh that sounds interesting, anyone in the USA making that?

  65. 65
  66. 66
    James Hare says:

    Were I to bother my facebook friends with that nonsense, I’d quickly have none. They already put up with enough of that shit during the election. Dude reminds me of Grampa Simpson — out of it beyond belief but convinced everyone else cares what he thinks.

    I’m not trying to cut my parents off of social security and medicare. That’s what will be keeping them independent so I don’t have to live with them!

  67. 67
    muddy says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: He was a speechwriter for Jimmy Carter, staffed at I dunno what position for Tip O’Neill, and how grand it was with Tip and the Gipper etc.

    I think he’s just like that, blatting out oddities with little self-awareness, I imagine being his mother, oh noes! Take a breath, son. Think about what words are coming out.

  68. 68
    KG says:

    @Roger Moore: pretty sure I’ve had Pliny the Elder. I have a rule about trying beers I’ve not had before if I see them on the menu. It wasn’t bad, but not my cup of teapint of beer.

    Glad to know that I’m not the only that isn’t a fan of the IPAs.

  69. 69
    raven says:

    Can’t find his version but

    Desafinado

  70. 70
    Amir Khalid says:

    Pardon the off-topic, but Dave Brubeck has passed away — one day short of his 92nd birthday, from heart failure.
    ETA: Drat. Beaten to it by SiubhanDunne.

  71. 71
    raven says:

    @muddy: I love the way his little peace corps ass gets to decide who was really “in it” in Vietnam.

  72. 72
    Cassidy says:

    @SatanicPanic: I’ve had it at restaurants and it was the fruit style. I don’t know how traditional it was, or made with syrups, etc., but I enjoyed the flavor. Most liquor stores I’ve been in will have a large bottle of “Lambic” and it looks like the big bottles of cranky old man stout (or whatever the hell it’s called). A few wine shops have had it as well. I’d start with the wine or higher end liquor stores to try and get something decent. Usually, any place that sales the really expensive monk beer that I’ve never had should have it, lol.

  73. 73
    Brachiator says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    O/T but Dave Brubeck has died age 91. RIP.

    Very sad.

    Cool dude.

  74. 74
    muddy says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Id is the word for it, that’s what popped out of my mouth. “Id, id idiot!” Then I thought briefly about that etymology which had not occurred to me before.

    He was less flattered by the recent one, where they depicted him after the first debate, freaking out and screaming. He showed it and you could see he was trying to be a good sport, but you tell that really his feelings were hurt. He kept asking everyone on the show if he was like that. Not that he went on worrying about how he came off the next day, or anything. Bygones.

  75. 75
    Raven says:

    @Brachiator: Pretty full like there. I hope I make it 30 more years. . .I think.

  76. 76
    Cassidy says:

    @Cassidy: This the one I’m talking about.

  77. 77
    muddy says:

    @Corner Stone: It does not dismay him in the least to name everyone on successive days the best at something, even when they are contradictory entirely.

  78. 78
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @raven: Which, while identified with the Dave Brubeck group, was actually Paul Desmond’s tune. He died far too young, IMO.

    Grat, possibly apocryphal, anecdote I heard about Desmond in the hospital (don’t know if when he was dying) who got a visit from Mingus, who came in dressed in a big black cape or overcoat, and Desmond said “I’m not ready to go yet” or something similar.

    But R.I.P. to Brubeck, who was class all the way.

  79. 79
    muddy says:

    @raven: Yeah. I will say though, that it was at least better to be in the Peace Corps than sitting on a beach in France.

  80. 80
    Bruce S says:

    Actually, seems like the old coots’ strategy for “helping the children” is to cut their proposed “entitlement” benefits without touching anything that the old coots presently can lay their hands on. In fact, the “entitlements” hype is nothing that couldn’t be solved by a little European-style universal health care and everybody paying the same amount of FICA taxes on all of their income – like most of us already do.

    What a dishonest sack of crap this nasty man is. And Erskine Bowles is worse – because he wears that DEM tag that he’s done nothing but soil. Simpson is exactly what I’d expect from an old GOP hack.

  81. 81
    Bob says:

    Don’t sell the Mayans short – they just misinterpreted the fiscal cliff as the end of the world – not too different from modern day pundits. They thought they were channeling their deity Chac but it was coming from the demon Chuck (Todd) instead.

  82. 82
    mainmati says:

    @KG: No, you were right the first time; it was the meteor that made all the dinosaurs go away. But it wasn’t the last significant meteor strike. There was a recent (early 1900s one that blasted a large forested area of Siberia and then there’s the meteor crater in AZ. Probably many others too that came after the big Gulf crater.

  83. 83
    celticdragonchick says:

    I need to go outside a paint a giant X so the meteor knows where to land and all.

    Bolide impacts can include solid rock asteroids, aggregate masses that literally explode in the atmosphere and melt large areas of landmass (if over land) and even comets (also prone to explosion in the atmosphere).

    In any event, I’m not sure I want to encourage them to come for a visit. Mass extinction events really kinda suck.

    And I would miss Sam Adams Boston lager.

  84. 84
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Found the reference, in a Nat Hentoff interview, possibly for the Ken Burns movie.

    Desmond was in his apartment, not the hospital, and was in fact dying. When Mingus walked in dressed like that Desmond said “Well, set up the chessboard” (Seventh Seal reference.)

  85. 85
    Bruce S says:

    @muddy:

    Cracker Barrel is a “country-style” franchise restaurant you’ll see along lots of mid-western freeways. Tweety was playing “Applebee’s Salad Bar” demographics.

  86. 86
    Hill Dweller says:

    OT: Does anyone here have experience with Filson briefcases/computer bags? If so, would you recommend them?

    I’m looking for a new briefcase/computer bag that will last, but having trouble picking among a few choices.

  87. 87
    Brachiator says:

    From the LA Times and SF Chronicle on Dave Brubeck:

    Brubeck, born Dec. 6, 1920, in Concord, Calif., was the son of a cattle rancher. His mother was a classically trained pianist. Although he studied zoology at the College of the Pacific in Stockton, he came to love the music department. While serving in the Army during World War II, Brubeck formed the band the Wolfpack. After the war in the Bay Area he experimented with music groups and styles….
    __
    The seminal album “Time Out,” released by the quartet in 1959, was the first ever million-selling jazz LP, and is still among the best-selling jazz albums of all time. It opens with “Blue Rondo a la Turk” in 9/8 time — nine beats to the measure instead of the customary two, three or four beats…
    __
    In 1988, he played for Mikhail Gorbachev, at a dinner in Moscow that then-President Ronald Reagan hosted for the Soviet leader.
    __
    “I can’t understand Russian, but I can understand body language,” said Brubeck, after seeing the general secretary tapping his foot….

    Take five, Mr Brubeck

  88. 88
    Roger Moore says:

    @mainmati:

    But it wasn’t the last significant meteor strike.

    Depends on what you mean by “significant”. There hasn’t been anything that remotely rivals the Chicxulub event in the 65 million years since; there certainly don’t seem to have been any impacts that had anything close to the same global scale of destruction. The Tunguska event has basically zero global effect, and I don’t think the Arizona Meteor Crater impact had any, either. That’s not to say you’d like to be close to either one when it happened, but if you were in the next state you could happily ignore either one.

  89. 89
    Interrobang says:

    “Meteor Chow” made me laugh out loud at work, on a day when I’m not feeling particularly risible. Thanks.

  90. 90
    muddy says:

    Those old-style Cracker Barrels probably don’t mess around with phantom salad bars.

  91. 91
    PurpleGirl says:

    @raven: Are you having problems with the flesh-eating bugs?

  92. 92
    SatanicPanic says:

    @Cassidy: I’ll track some down. Good time of year for that too

  93. 93
    ericblair says:

    @raven:

    Wanted: A good home for a flesh eating beetle starter colony. Requirements: Dark room kept at 85 degrees for three months, daily feeding, “misting”, not too much, not too little. Oy!

    So, uh, you’re done with your target, then? Anybody we knew?

  94. 94
    celticdragonchick says:

    @KG:

    No. The Chicxulub crater is actully partially under the Yucatan Peninsula and was found by accident by geologists drilling for oil in the 1970s. Confirmation of the impact structure came much later with evidence of shocked quartz caused by a massive impact as well as tektite horizons and an iridium anomaly at the Cretaceous/Tertiary sediment boundary all the way into western North America caused by melted ejecta falling back to earth (The iridium anomaly is worldwide).

    The Chicxulub site is one of the largest bolide impactor stuctures found to date, although another large possible site off the coast of Australia is under investigation Called the Bedout Crater, this site is believed to be associated with the massive end-Permian mass extinction when nearly all life on Earth died.

    To see what shocked quartz looks like under a polarized light microscope, see here:

  95. 95
    raven says:

    @muddy: I have nothing but respect for peace corps peeps.

  96. 96
    raven says:

    @ericblair: A 38″ redfish. I have the head and I’m either going to simmer it or bury it in the yard.

  97. 97
    Brachiator says:

    @celticdragonchick:

    The Chicxulub

    Somebody has got to use this as the name of a hipster night spot.

  98. 98
    Matthew Reid Krell says:

    @Linda Featheringill:

    “Could all of you fucking young people . . . ”

    There’s a condition precedent in this statement that I can’t complete right now. Maybe soon….

  99. 99
    Cassidy says:

    @SatanicPanic: Yup. The fruit beers really are unique. I’ve always just liked a good drink, so I don’t turn my nose at most beers, tbh. Between that and wheat beer, though, I’m set.

  100. 100
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Bruce S:

    When conservatives tell me there’s a big, scary problem with Social Security, I say, “Yes, it’s true, the salary cap is ridiculously low. We need to raise it to at least $500K or eliminate it altogether.”

    Funny, they tend to shut up right after that.

    Also, since I have an ongoing argument about SS, I should say that Jared Bernstein probably has the best explanation of why any switch to chained CPI must include changing both SS benefits AND tax brackets, but, funnily enough, people like Simpson want to use chained CPI only for SS benefits and change the tax brackets so no one’s taxes go up because of the switch to chained CPI. That’s really what the bait-and-switch is that’s hidden in the B-S proposals.

  101. 101
    celticdragonchick says:

    @Brachiator:

    You would get a lot of post grad students crying in their beer over how fucking evil his/her advisor is, and then trying to one-up each other on fucking awesome his/her thesis will be. Science is weird that way.

    You would really need to get another type of hipster…

  102. 102
    trollhattan says:

    @Brachiator:
    Had not heard this. Very sad news, but he had a long and fruitful life. Stockton’s finest native son, he described getting some of his complex rhythms and time signatures from long hours spent on farm machinery, listening to the engine and various resonances the works emanated.

    Adios, Dave.

  103. 103
    Trinity says:

    Dogfish Head IPA 120s are nectar of the Gods.

    This video is deeply disturbing.

    Dogfish Head IPA 90s are also exceedingly delicious.

    That is all.

  104. 104
    trollhattan says:

    Ha-ha-ha–Ubernerd and possible murderer John McAfee found by better nerd.

    Simple Nomad, who declined to give any identifying personal details in an e-mail interview, examined the underlying data and quickly learned that McAfee’s image emanated from an iPhone 4S at the following location: “Latitude/longitude: 15° 39’ 29.4 North, 88° 59’ 31.8 West,” at 12:26 p.m. Monday.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....ml?hpid=z6

  105. 105
    liberal says:

    @trollhattan:
    Doesn’t sound like McAfee is all that “uber”.

  106. 106
    Felonius Monk says:

    When Alan Simpson was the Republican senator from Wyoming (the state that gave us Darth Dick Cheney) he was frequently shown on the teevee thing. No matter what came out of his mouth, it always appeared that the lights were on but nobody was home. And now, when he’s a senile old fool, we are supposed to take anything he says or does seriously? Put him in the county home where he belongs.

    [And don’t accuse me of age discrimination, he’s only a couple of years older than me.]

  107. 107
    Bobby Thomson says:

    @Randy P:

    Do you have to go on a Troll Vision Quest to find your own?

    And, if so, does it involve Linda Fiorentino?

  108. 108
    trollhattan says:

    @liberal:

    Seems as though he’s acquired a Black Knight persona.

    “‘Tis only a fleshwound.”
    “I’ve cut your arm off!”
    “No you haven’t. I’m invincible!”
    “You’re a looney.”

  109. 109
    Schlemizel says:

    The Onion has an info graphic of helpful ideas for the GOP

    http://www.theonion.com/articl.....rty,30551/

  110. 110
    Schlemizel says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I didn’t think Tunguska was a meteor. Thought there was some guess that it was a tiny bit of anti-matter or a comet as it didn’t leave a crater.

  111. 111
    Misterpuff says:

    “Old Coot” = Alan Simpson

    This is a very meta ad!

  112. 112
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @KG: What IPA have you been drinking?

    New England IPA’s are clear, very clean, and very slightly sweet (not sweet like Bavarian beer, though, but contrawise not a bitter finish like a Pilsner). Oregon IPA’s, OTOH, are a hops-splosion in your mouth. It was a fight to the finish, bra. I like bitter, but not that much bitter.

  113. 113
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Schlemizel: I didn’t think Tunguska was a meteor. Thought there was some guess that it was a tiny bit of anti-matter or a comet as it didn’t leave a crater.

    Wait–what?

  114. 114
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Randy P: Does John run some kind of breeding farm and pull one out of the cage when awarding you FP status? Is there some sort of secret ceremony? Do you have to go on a Troll Vision Quest to find your own?

    Do they still sing songs about the great fper hunt? “We searched high, we searched low, everywhere, a fper could go… then the Google, yielded her loot: front page of BJ, what a hoot…”

  115. 115
    Roger Moore says:

    @Another Halocene Human:

    Do they still sing songs about the great fper hunt?

    They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
    They pursued it with forks and hope;
    They threatened its life with a railway-share;
    They charmed it with smiles and soap.

    No, that’s the Snark Hunt. Or is there any difference?

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