Still Not Getting It…

Three middle-aged-to-elderly white conservative men recently discussed ways to broaden the GOP’s appeal. Here’s a key insight from their confab:

I see that the way we will get the Hispanics and the other groups, the Asians, as part of the Republican Coalition is to get them first part of the great American Coalition. Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

Oh. Ma. Ga. I don’t think they can hear themselves, friends. Bless their hearts.

[H/T: TPM; x-posted at Rumproast]

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172 replies
  1. 1
    Raven says:

    Like the Americans that want to secede.

  2. 2
    shortstop says:

    [Raises glass of Red Bull] Here’s to long, long life for their cluelessness. May they never figure out what they’re doing wrong.

  3. 3
    Phoenix_rising says:

    Video link or it didn’t happen.

    Even Republicans aren’t that stu..

    Never mind.

  4. 4
    Bort says:

    Maybe they can get Trump in on this. He has good relations with The Black People.

  5. 5
    dmsilev says:

    @Phoenix_rising: One of the three men is Jonah Goldberg. Just like Peak Wingnut, Peak Goldberg Stupidity is a transfinite quantity.

  6. 6
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Really? No, seriously? Wow.

  7. 7

    @Bort: It seems that they are just writing the blah people off. In the wingnut mind, if they could just conservasplain things, they’d all come around. I believe they got this idea from what the Pogue Colonel said to Private Joker in Full Metal Jacket:

    Pogue Colonel: Son, all I’ve ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It’s a hardball world, son. We’ve gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

    Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

  8. 8
    scav says:

    Is their outreach program to women going to comprise in convincing the little dears they’re human first?

  9. 9
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    I see that the way we will get the Hispanics and the other groups, the Asians, as part of the Republican Coalition is to get them first part of the great American White Coalition. Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans Whites.

    They just can’t figure out why these groups won’t just do like the early 1900s Irish did and yearn to be part of the accepted white class.

  10. 10
    The Red Pen says:

    Meanwhile, the state that started the ball rolling on the Civil War has started the ball rolling with state nullification of Obamacare.

    http://www.freerepublic.com/fo.....5439/posts

    Comments are interesting (hint: eat your heart out DougJ)

  11. 11
    Yutsano says:

    Bless their hearts

    I sooo less than three you. :)

  12. 12
    Baud says:

    Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    Protip to the GOP: The problem isn’t that they don’t think of themselves as American. The problem is that you don’t think of them as human.

  13. 13
    gbear says:

    @scav: They’re going to convince women that it’s American to have babies. As many as possible.

  14. 14
    different-church-lady says:

    I… I can’t… uhh… I mean… just… [runs fingers across lips and makes beeble beeble beeble noise…}

  15. 15
    the Conster says:

    I love this. Same thing happened on Tweety’s show last week when he had Tom Davis from Virginia on to discuss the election and its challenges to Republicans. He right off talks about the “underclass” “being pulled out of their apartments” to vote for Obama, and Joan Walsh gives him a protip, which he then proceeds to sneer at as “political correctness”. It’s like trying to explain water to fish.

  16. 16
    Comrade Luke says:

    How about a little shout out to the Jesuits?

    Jesuit Conference Statement on Taxes and the Fiscal Cliff

    A moral society also shares burdens in difficult times; therefore it asks more from its members who have more. Accordingly, the Jesuit Conference, representing the Society of Jesus in the United States, the largest religious community of priests and brothers in the Roman Catholic Church, opposes any deficit reduction plan that requires more from those who have less by balancing the nation’s budget on the backs of the poor and vulnerable. Government has a responsibility to provide for its citizens in their time of need, particularly those who cannot provide for themselves.

    Not a fan of the Catholic Church, at all, but I’ve always liked the Jesuits. They seem to get it more than the rest.

  17. 17
    Smiling Mortician says:

    I never go to NRO, so this is a real question: are there typically commenters over there who slam the OP for its stupidity? Because that’s what the first several comments are doing, to my surprise.

  18. 18
    David in NY says:

    The most interesting thing about this is that it tells Hispanics and Asians that Republicans think they are not Americans.

    The second most interesting thing is that they tell everybody who voted for Obama, including about 3-4% of the population they need to win an election, that Republicans think they are not Americans.

    What is it about trying to catch flies with vinegar that they don’t understand?

  19. 19
    lacp says:

    Just what I needed, more wisdom from Doughy Pantload.

  20. 20
    Yutsano says:

    @gbear: Chunky Bobo just did a column lamenting the lack of white bebehs and ordering the selfish hoors to get busy getting birthing them dammit!

  21. 21
    Felonius Monk says:

    Oh My. The wingnut base is surely going to embrace this idea and move it forward.

    Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    My guess is that the guys who came up with this idea may find themselves living in exile when the toothless hordes come after them.

  22. 22
    gene108 says:

    Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    As an immigrant I endorse this.

    We are too stupid to figure out for ourselves how divide our allegiance between the country of our birth and the country of our residence.

    I hope these Republicans can finally clue me in to how I need to think.

  23. 23
    Bulworth says:

    Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    Freudian slip I guess.

    Of course, since many in their party are so busy calling everyone else not American, this business of persuading becomes a little harder for the common teabagger or talk radio host, to get a handle on.

  24. 24
    shortstop says:

    @ranchandsyrup:

    It seems that they are just writing the blah people off.

    Au contraire, mon frere. The solution to their black outreach problem is…yes, it’s true! J.C. Watts as RNC chair!

    @scav:

    Is their outreach program to women going to comprise in convincing the little dears they’re human first?

    Demonstrating GOP subtlety and flexibility, a slightly different approach applies here. There’s no need to change the platform to appeal to the skirts. Softer, more “respectful” language is all that’s needed with the ladies (do a search here for Jindal).

  25. 25
    Josie says:

    The trick is not to get those groups to think of themselves as Americans. They already do. The trick is to get these clueless conservatives to think of them as Americans – a pretty tall order. Actually, I’d say damn near impossible.

  26. 26
    Mr. Longform says:

    A Pantload Singularity has been achieved – stupidity meets cluelessness in a meta-comment where an asshole becomes a black hole. No light will ever escape its denseness.

  27. 27
    David in NY says:

    @the Conster:

    He right off talks about the “underclass” “being pulled out of their apartments” to vote for Obama, and Joan Walsh gives him a protip, which he then proceeds to sneer at as “political correctness.”

    Wow. Just wow.

  28. 28
    aarrgghh says:

    so why would anyone need to learn anything about a desperately-wanted coalition partner when you can just paint their @ss red-white-n-blue and teach them to CLAP HARDER, amirite?

  29. 29
    shortstop says:

    @Yutsano: I think Demographic Winter would be an awesome name for a band.

  30. 30
    Redshift says:

    Gee, that’s so different from their campaign strategy of telling minority voters and women that they should really be concerned about the economy instead of all those other silly issues. Then of course they would see that the GOP is better for the economy, and step 3, PROFIT!

    I will give them this, however — one of the ways political parties have overcome this sort of situation in the past is by expanding who was considered “white.” They have no idea how to do it, and they sound about as offensive as ever when they try, but maybe they’re almost aimed at the germ of a real answer.

  31. 31
    kdaug says:

    We keep circling the drain, but we never actually go down it.

    It’s just humans. And humans are generally stupid and somewhat disappointing.

    Better a human than a barnacle, I suppose.

  32. 32
    Brachiator says:

    I don’t think they can hear themselves, friends. Bless their hearts.

    Hee.

    Just love that “bless their hearts” thing.

    And damn skippy, these fools are clueless.

  33. 33
    Sly says:

    This is a statement made by people who do not realize that the “X-American” convention, as in African-American or Asian-American, was adopted not so much in an effort to preserve any particular minority identity, but to remind white Americans that non-whites can, in fact, be Americans, too.

    Even so, I heartily endorse any endeavor that entails white conservatives telling non-white Americans, preferably in large and open fora that are accessible to as wide an audience of voters as possible, that the central political dilemma of our time is that non-white Americans aren’t American enough.

  34. 34
    ericblair says:

    @David in NY:

    The most interesting thing about this is that it tells Hispanics and Asians that Republicans think they are not Americans.

    Well, of course. It’s so wrongheaded it’s tough to make this shit up. Sure, tell those fine folks to put down their tacos and their Moo Goo Guy Pan, and try a good old fashioned Big Mac once in a while! See what NASCAR’s all about! That’ll get your head fixed on straight! Don’t thank us, just trying to help you people out!

  35. 35
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    First, we force them to watch HeeHaw reruns until their eyes bleed..

  36. 36
    Redshift says:

    @Mr. Longform: Or perhaps, no head will escape its denseness?

  37. 37
    aarrgghh says:

    a friend of mine yesterday quipped: “to GOP saying things like “i guess we’re going to have to amnesty our way to getting the Latino vote” … ahh, we can hear you.

  38. 38

    No, this makes perfect sense. When you realize that the Republican starting point is, “everyone who thinks differently from me is not a real American,” then it’s a completely logical thing to say.

    Look beyond the racist premise and you get to the real heart of it: the assumption that “Americans” are Republicans, and everyone else (Democrats, Blahs, Orientals, etc.) are not.

  39. 39
    David in NY says:

    @ericblair: Does make a person’s head spin, doesn’t it?

  40. 40
    Sly says:

    Well, of course. It’s so wrongheaded it’s tough to make this shit up. Sure, tell those fine folks to put down their tacos and their Moo Goo Guy Pan

    Don’t forget their meaningless songs with unintelligible words written by some guy from Yong Yang.

  41. 41
    SatanicPanic says:

    Wasn’t Jonah just urging Republicans to be more racist, like a week ago?

  42. 42
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: When I was a 91D Surgical Tech and getting ready to get out of the Army for the first time in 1996, there was a huge issue over enlisted retention in the Medical Department, which is to say that enlisted retention was for shit in the Medical Department. The Army began doing exit interviews and the biggest thing that came out of it was that enlisted medical specialists were primarily disillusioned over the treatment they received at the hands of the Nurses and Doctors. Being trained medical technicians, they were decamping to better pay. If you’re going to get treated like shit, you might as well make enough money to not be on food stamps, after all.
    So the Chief Nurse of the US Army sent out a letter to be read and signed by every Commissioned Officer of the Army Nurse corps regarding the way that they were to treat the enlisted technicians in the future. After laying out the problem in paragraphs one and two, she began paragraph three with the statement “We must treat our enlisted personnel in the Medical Department as if they are human beings and professionals.” Italics mine.
    Self defeating egocentric viewpoints are not a strictly Conservative phenomenon.

  43. 43
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    49% of Republicans think Acorn stole the 2012 election. Understanding still isn’t their strong point.

  44. 44
    Citizen Alan says:

    @ranchandsyrup:

    In the wingnut mind, if they could just conservasplain things, they’d all come around.

    I did not realize it until I googled it just now, but yes, “whitesplaining” is a word.

  45. 45
    Chris says:

    Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    THINK of them primarily as Americans, help us make a society that ACTUALLY sees them primarily as Americans, and maybe you’ll be onto something.

    As long as Caribou Barbie is out there squealing that there’s such a thing as a “real America” and by implication a not-real one and every one of you stands up and whoops in support, as long as you continue to demand that your cultural values should be everyone else’s cultural values and it’s not fair that they’re not, as long as you continue to scream bloody murder at the idea of people in the inner cities (and everyone knows who you mean) getting any help from the government while your Rugged Individualist states gorge themselves with Yankee and Californian money and no one’s allowed to object, as long as your pundits, your activists and now even your candidates are out there claiming that some people shouldn’t be allowed to vote, some people should be stripped of their citizenship because of how their parents came here, and some people should be singled out for strip-searching, purged from government positions, or even, as some of you have delightfully called for, rounded up into internment camps because of who they pray to…

    … as long as you keep doing that, then it’s impossible for anyone to think of themselves as “primarily American before anything else.” You’ve seen to that. I’m sorry that the divided America you’ve worked so hard to create for fifty years is finally beginning to bite you in the ass (for a measure of “sorry” roughly equivalent to “delighted”), but it’s your doing. Deal with it.

    TL;DR – Fuck you, assholes.

  46. 46
    David in NY says:

    @the Conster:

    Same thing happened on Tweety’s show last week when he had Tom Davis from Virginia on to discuss the election and its challenges to Republicans. He right off talks about the “underclass” “being pulled out of their apartments” to vote for Obama, and Joan Walsh gives him a protip, which he then proceeds to sneer at as “political correctness”.

    You know, as I think about it, the proper response to this was not to tell the guy how to be suave, but to tell him he’s full of bullshit, and anyway, poor people are entitled to vote just as much as any good-ole-boy. But that wouldn’t be our “objective” MSM, would it?

  47. 47
    shortstop says:

    @Chris: That was beautiful. Makes me wish I still smoked.

  48. 48

    @Citizen Alan: i shoulda used that in lieu of conservasplain. fits better.

  49. 49
    Linda Featheringill says:

    From NRO:

    Restore the overarching, all-encompassing concept of an American identity, which we used to have, which we knew how to bring about and which in the last 20 or 30 years very largely as a result of the democrats wanting to emphasize ethnicity rather than American-ness.

    I’m old enough to know that’s a lie.

    Back in the 1950s we in the US were identified by ethnicity, location of birth of grandparents, and where we were raised. Just as much as now, if not more so.

    There wasn’t as much ethnic pride but there was ethnic segregation.

  50. 50
    Redshift says:

    @the Conster:

    It’s like trying to explain water to fish.

    It really is. I’ve always thought that when Tom Davis dropped out of politics he was thinking he could be the one to pick up the pieces when the wave of crazy had passed, and he had no clue just how long that was going to take. So I suspect he thinks he’s trying to sound reasonable, and is incapable of seeing how condescending and offensive he’s being.

  51. 51
    Lizzy L says:

    Oh dear God.

    Hey, Old White Dudes: the problem is not that Hispanics, and Asians, and “the other groups,” don’t think of themselves as Americans.

    The problem is that you don’t think of them as Americans, because you think that “real” Americans look like you.

  52. 52
    The Red Pen says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    49% of Republicans think Acorn stole the 2012 election. Understanding still isn’t their strong point.

    I saw some blather on Wingnut Central (Free Republic) about how ACORN just “changed its name.” Didn’t follow up, though. Bottom line, it’s still around, man… SAUL ALINSKY!!!!!!1!!!

  53. 53
    Tone in DC says:

    @Mr. Longform:

    LULz.

    Jonah does have his own gravitational pull, a bit more like Jupiter than a black hole IMHO.

    Now, Lou Dobbs and Erick bin Erick, THOSE are damn black holes.

  54. 54

    Also, expect this to blow up over the interwebs:

    Congressman’s Restaurant Refused To Serve Muslim Couple
    __
    Mohammad Husain and his wife were looking for a bite to eat and a nice place to relax when they stopped in last month at a Shreveport, La. sandwich shop owned by Rep. John Fleming (R-LA).
    __
    But that visit soon turned turbulent, Husain told TPM recently, when he found himself locked out of the Subway franchise and his wife locked inside with an employee telling them they were not welcome there because they were Muslim.
    __
    […]
    __
    The incident took place on Nov. 21, when Husain and his wife, Talat, were traveling from their home in the New Orleans area to Dallas for a Thanksgiving celebration. Husain said he is diabetic and has to eat every few hours, so they stopped at the restaurant at about 3 p.m.
    __
    Husain has a beard and wears a traditional Muslim hat. His wife wears a hijab. He said they initially went to the restaurant bathroom to wash their hands. He washed first and then went back to the car to get his medication while his wife went into the bathroom after him.

    Why are fast food restaurant chains such assholes?

  55. 55
    Citizen_X says:

    Shorter Rethugs: the whippings will continue until the wogs’ loyalty improves.

  56. 56
    Felonius Monk says:

    Three middle-aged-to-elderly white conservative men

    Once again Larry, Curly & Moe put square wheels on the clown car and drive right into the ditch.

  57. 57
    Heliopause says:

    Still Not Getting It…

    On the contrary, they’re absolutely getting the core of it. What they need to do is brainstorm some new strategies for selling themselves to various demographic groups. That’s what politicians and their supporters do, and that’s what they’re trying to do in the quote above.

    What these three don’t get, apparently, is being careful about what you say out loud. That’s a good thing for the rest of us, by the way.

  58. 58
    Redshift says:

    @Linda Featheringill: It’s not a lie as long as you interpret “we” to mean white people, and that everyone else should just know their place.

    Kind of like Reagan’s line about how “we didn’t have a race problem when I was growing up.” Sure, you didn’t.

  59. 59
    trollhattan says:

    @dmsilev:
    Calling Jonah Goldberg a man assumes facts not in evidence.

    Also, too, I’m not getting off the boat, but at any time did they call for ordering chests of beads and trinkets to go a-courtin’ for these newly minted minority Republican voters?

  60. 60
    Sly says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    Wasn’t Jonah just urging Republicans to be more racist, like a week ago?

    And this isn’t urging Republicans to be more racist?

    Until the late seventies, white supremacy was the states goal of the conservative movement. Then they figured out that overt white supremacy was a political loser because a growing cohort of white voters rejected that. Lee Atwater was never about appealing to minority voters, but convincing non-racist white people that conservatives weren’t really racist while still assuring racist white people that America was still the white man’s country.

    The problem of the Republican party is that they are wedded to a strategy that, besides being morally reprehensible, is politically worthless at the national level and growing increasingly worthless regionally. There aren’t enough white racists and non-racist whites obtuse enough not to know racism when its slapping them in the face to overcome the growing population of non-whites who have an intuitive grasp of white supremacist dogma and who will reject it out of hand.

    So what’s Goldberg’s solution? Tell non-white Americans that they can be Americans, too! Let’s go back to the pre-“You can’t say ‘nigger, nigger, nigger’ anymore” days, but we’ll be totally polite about it this time. White resentment politics with a smiley face! Kill the Latino, save the Man.

    And he stupid enough, and ignorant enough, to believe that this is a winning strategy.

  61. 61
    NonyNony says:

    @The Red Pen:

    I saw some blather on Wingnut Central (Free Republic) about how ACORN just “changed its name

    Ah yes. They decided to fuck with people by renaming themselves the “Bavarian Illuminati”, the “Stonecutters” and “Chuck E Cheese Pizza”.

    I believe that they are behind every major event in the history of the USA. You just don’t know the power that the Bavarian Illuminati wield through that damn pizza-shilling rat.

  62. 62
    aarrgghh says:

    “Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.”

    for a long time i’ve heard this bit of wisdom in one form or another on free republic & other wingnut watering holes, but nowadays with a bit less derision since they’re now starting to see the spanish on the wall.

  63. 63
    Surly Scientist says:

    @Mr. Longform:

    I read Pantload Singularity and instantly thought about the “Oops, I crapped my pants” commercial from SNL

  64. 64
    jl says:

    A charitable interpretation would be that they want to find that fine razor thin line between respecting people for who they are and their heritage (so that they cannot be accused of being white racial bigots), but recognizing common US-American identity.

    The line is fine because a millimeter too far and we are into DemocRAT multiculturalism.

    So, what are the common US-American values and identity we all share, from the GOP point of view?

    Or, maybe oops, that may be the problem, the GOP’s concept of commonly held values and identity (I got mine eff you, and I can do as I damn well please if I got mine) does not appeal to some communities.

    Whatever way you look at it, chances of success don’t seem very high.

  65. 65
    Hoodie says:

    Make them think of themselves us, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves us primarily as Americans and not flesh eating zombies.

    That might work.

  66. 66
    General Stuck says:

    Another mind fucker filed under republicans not getting it.

    And when they came for the disabled, wingnuts said nothing.

  67. 67
    SatanicPanic says:

    @Sly: I should have included that he said “racist” as in- what liberals call racism or, as we’ve come to understand it, everything but the N Word

  68. 68

    @General Stuck: If Bob Dole knew where he was today, he’d be saying, “This angers Bob Dole!”

  69. 69
    scav says:

    @Heliopause: they’re not getting to the core of it, they’re complaining that the “consumers” were not responding to their ads in the proper manner. They might work their way up to blaming the ads eventually but have they looked in the mirror and considered the product? Stupid consumers, not upholding their part of the free-market and buying whatever we sell.

  70. 70
    schrodinger's cat says:

    Real Americans = = Republicans or people who vote for Republicans.

  71. 71
    horatius says:

    @Bort: The Blacks.

    They are not really people, just “The Blacks”

  72. 72
    Tone in DC says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    Teh st00pid… it BURNS.

  73. 73
    Cacti says:

    @The Red Pen:

    One lone, sane, commenter posted:

    Obamcare was passed constitutionally. This is just another in an ongoing series of conservatives embarrassing conservatives. If you are going to demonstrate fealty to the Constitution, you should try reading it first.

    The howler monkeys naturally started flinging shit at him/her with both hands.

  74. 74
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Restore the overarching, all-encompassing concept of an American identity, which we used to have, which we knew how to bring about and which in the last 20 or 30 years very largely as a result of the democrats wanting to emphasize ethnicity rather than American-ness.

    And so what if it’s gone? Perhaps since it was so distinctly not “ethnic-blind” is the reason it had to go in the first place. But if it’s gone, so what?

  75. 75
    Felonius Monk says:

    According to a number of stories sliding around today, recent polling shows that 49% of Republicans believe that ACORN stole the election for Obama.

    Will this shit ever end?

  76. 76
    maya says:

    Republicans tried to enlist Asian-Americans in the last election by telling them that Obama is Eddie Haskell to Mitt Romney’s Ward Cleaver in their myopic view of a Leave It To Beaver, traditional America.

    I didn’t know that Asian-Americans identified that much to a sit-com from the 1950’s. Hop Sing from Bonanza was passed over for some inexplicable reason. Maybe next time.

  77. 77
    MattF says:

    @The Red Pen: Here’s the original Public Policy Polling item, under the heading “Republicans Not Handling Election Results Well”:

    http://www.publicpolicypolling.....-well.html

    ETA: Note also, btw, towards the end of the article; public reaction to a mythical Panetta/Burns plan is comparable to public reaction to the non-mythical Simpson/Bowles plan.

  78. 78
  79. 79
    different-church-lady says:

    @the Conster:

    It’s like trying to explain water to fish.

    It’s more like trying to explain a dope slap to a dope.

  80. 80
    redshirt says:

    @Cacti: LOL. Soon to be “zotted”, of course. Lots of “zottings” lately. Anyone who dares even hint at common sense is immediately identified as an enemy combatant. It’s hilarious.

    I’ve really been enjoying the Freepers this past month.

  81. 81
    maya says:

    @maya: Here’s the link.

  82. 82
    shortstop says:

    @Felonius Monk: We must be grateful that they’re not blaming the whole thing on that one New Black Panther in Philly. I consider this progress.

  83. 83
    jl says:

    @maya: Thanks. I was going to read it, but did a word count. It’s almost 3000 words.

    3000 words on Nobama as Eddie Haskell, and M_tt as the Beaver?

  84. 84
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @maya: That’s an ancient TV show, does talking about characters on this show make sense to anyone under 50?

  85. 85
    different-church-lady says:

    @Josie:

    The trick is not to get those groups to think of themselves as Americans. They already do. The trick is to get these clueless conservatives to think of them as Americans

    It used to be the idea that “Every word out of a conservative’s mouth is projection” was a slight exaggeration. It is now entering the realm of fundamental law of the universe.

  86. 86
    Chris says:

    @Felonius Monk:

    According to a number of stories sliding around today, recent polling shows that 49% of Republicans believe that ACORN stole the election for Obama.

    This is the ACORN that stopped existing after 2008, right?

  87. 87
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    First, we force them to watch HeeHaw reruns until their eyes bleed..

    So, halfway through the opening credits, then?

  88. 88
    👽 Martin says:

    @Chris: Yes. Same ACORN. But, remember, they’re in it with the Black Panthers, operating out of their secret lair in a hollowed out volcano filled with well-dressed gay henchmen deep in the heart of San Francisco.

    It’s nigh impossible to hide such clever schemes from those crafty conservatives…

  89. 89
    Brachiator says:

    @maya:

    Here’s the link.

    After I read throught it, I almost wanted to say that I couldn’t believe that an Asian American wrote crap that some completely was wound up with the standard Tea Party/wingnut talking points.

    And the deference to Mitt as the Great White Father is just strange.

    As strange as the tangled and dumbass references to Leave it to Beaver.

  90. 90
    AxelFoley says:

    I see that the way we will get the Hispanics and the other groups, the Asians, as part of the Republican Coalition is to get them first part of the great American Coalition. Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    Notice how blacks aren’t included in their plan.

    “Hey, everyone else–you can be honorary whites if you follow us. At least you won’t be lumped in with those ni-CLANG!”

  91. 91
    different-church-lady says:

    @jl:

    So, what are the common US-American values and identity we all share, from the GOP point of view?

    Well, first off, you vote for the white guy.

  92. 92
    👽 Martin says:

    Man, that PPP poll is a gold mine:

    Some GOP voters are so unhappy with the outcome that they no longer care to be a part of the United States. 25% of Republicans say they would like their state to secede from the union compared to 56% who want to stay and 19% who aren’t sure.
    __
    One reason that such a high percentage of Republicans are holding what could be seen as extreme views is that their numbers are declining. Our final poll before the election, which hit the final outcome almost on the head, found 39% of voters identifying themselves as Democrats and 37% as Republicans. Since the election we’ve seen a 5 point increase in Democratic identification to 44%, and a 5 point decrease in Republican identification to 32%.

    44/32 is a hell of a big gap nationally. The GOP needs to get to work expanding their tent. If their party ID numbers get too low, it becomes impossible to function as a national party.

  93. 93
    PurpleGirl says:

    @maya: Or the valet-chef Peter Tong, played by Sammee Tong, from Bachelor Father.

  94. 94
    Chris says:

    @👽 Martin:

    I have to admit, part of me loves the fact that they think of us as an all-powerful world-spanning Syndicate, presumably with a deformed cat person in a Mao jacket controlling everything from his secret underground lair. Truth is we’re a fucking madhouse that counts itself lucky if it can win elections half the time in our own country, never mind the universe, but it’s nice to know that some people think it’s all a clever front.

    (I’ve heard a probably apocryphal story of a Russian Jew reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion with avid interest, until one of his bewildered Cossack tormentors asked him why he was doing it and he said it was so much fun to see how powerful he was in the alternate reality).

  95. 95
    Heliopause says:

    @scav:

    Not sure what distinction you’re getting at. Politicians of all stripes hold the rest of us in contempt and try to craft a message they think we’ll respond to. That’s what’s happening in the quote above. Sensible ones know when there’s a recording device present and couch these discussions in more benign terms.

    have they looked in the mirror and considered the product?

    You can sell rocks as pets with good marketing.

  96. 96
    Mike in NC says:

    Still Not Getting It…

    Well, it was once commonly assumed that the people of Iraq would welcome Americans as liberators. Would it have been much of a stretch to suggest they were so damn happy to see us that they’d become evangelical Baptists, embrace NASCAR, and register as card-carrying Republicans?

  97. 97
    Suffern ACE says:

    @AxelFoley: yep. The whole point is probably to help those other groups feel more American to help us box in those blacks.

  98. 98
    different-church-lady says:

    @Heliopause:

    You can sell rocks as pets with good marketing.

    But only for so long.

  99. 99
    JustAnotherBob says:

    @Baud:

    Protip to the GOP: The problem isn’t that they don’t think of themselves as American. The problem is that you don’t think of them as human.

    The problem is that the Republican Party does not realize that they are Americans.

  100. 100

    @JustAnotherBob: they would put it that the problem is that we don’t realize that they are uberamericans.

  101. 101
    jl says:

    @Heliopause: But can you sell throwing rocks at your customers with good marketing? I think that is a better analogy for the GOP puzzles over appealing to non-wealthy or non-white folks.

  102. 102
    schrodinger's cat says:

    OT but somewhat related to clueless middle aged white men. Is it me or has the Daily Dish been sillier than usual? Current topics, why using steroids is OK to look good, MSNBC is just as bad as Fox News and fluffing Blenderella’s posts on econ.

  103. 103
    👽 Martin says:

    @Chris: One of my fondest memories was talking to my son about Santa. He was doubting, and I made him a bargain: I wanted him to tell me what he truly believed and why (it was a critical thinking opportunity). If he was worried that Santa was real and wouldn’t bring him presents if he doubted, I promised I would make up for the presents. He had nothing to lose speaking what he believed. So he said he didn’t believe and gave a whole host of reasons (couldn’t cover the whole planet in one night, he never sent a list so how would he know, etc.). I did my level best to refute each of those, and he argued his case. In the end I asked him to state definitively and he did, and I said ‘Yes, there is no santa’.

    And then he got pissed and yelled at me for like 10 minutes, accusing me of being part of a global conspiracy to lie to children. All of the TV ads, and the shows, and the shit in the stores, and everything – and it was all a lie perpetrated by several billion adults on unsuspecting children. I was pretty taken aback – I wasn’t expecting that. It was all I could do to not bust out laughing, because he really nailed it in the most cynical way.

    I asked him if we ever even mentioned santa? No. Did we ever lie about it to him? Uh, no. Turns out we were very careful to never be an active part of the conspiracy. Sure, we put presents under the tree, unlabeled who they were from, but that was it. They didn’t ask, we didn’t tell. Perhaps we aided and abetted, but we were never part of the cabal. So, yeah, conspiracies can form even without a clear self interest or communication, I suppose.

  104. 104
    shortstop says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: I would have to read it first to be able to render an opinion. Since history tells us that Sully’s reaction to an Obama win would automatically be to pump up his “iconoclast” cred, I passed.

  105. 105
    👽 Martin says:

    @Baud:

    Protip to the GOP: The problem isn’t that they don’t think of themselves as American. The problem is that you don’t think of them as human.

    Actually, the problem is that the GOP can’t provide a reasonable differentiation between ‘American’ and ‘Caucasian’.

  106. 106
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Perfect, a thread about not getting it! Can someone explain this winger cartoon to me? I saw a link at Redstate titled “December 25th–Morning at the White House With The First Daughters (Muffin Toon)” and decided to check it out as they were mentioning Barack and Michelle’s kids. Problem is that while the link was still on the front page, the post has been deleted so I dived in to the internet for a cached version (which my link above uses).

    I don’t get the ‘joke’ but then again I’m not an insane winger.

    Translator please! :)

  107. 107
    Bunker says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: What?…No cries for pics?

  108. 108
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @shortstop: Actually I didn’t read it either, I was just skimming through the blog, to see if he has changed the banner of his blog to show his solidarity to the Egyptian protesters.

  109. 109
    scav says:

    @Heliopausemarketing won't inevitably get you everything, although marketing and luck sells a lot of rocks once in a while. Marketing that starts with the basis that they don't need to know anything about the customer's wants but is content with nagging about how they should conform to some other model strikes me as rather unecessarily twisted.

  110. 110
    MattF says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: The First Daughters are unhappy because… all they’re getting are pictures of Daddy. That’s my theory, anyhow.

  111. 111
    hitchhiker says:

    So, an Asian woman, a gay Hispanic man, and a black man were on the teevee one day:

    I see that the way we will get the Hispanics and the other groups, the Asians low IQ white men, as part of the Republican Coalition Democratic party is to get them first part of the great American Coalition. Make them think of themselves, not make but, persuade them to think of themselves primarily as Americans.

    Tell me, Jonah, would there be anything odd about that?

  112. 112
    GregB says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    I think they are getting cards with their dad’s picture on it and the ornaments are all with Obama’s face too.

    He’s so self centered that he’s got his own picture every where and even on his kids own cards.

    It’s why rightwingers don’t do comedy well, they aren’t fucking funny.

  113. 113
    AnotherBruce says:

    The whole message here is. “We hate your guts, but we really want your vote.”

  114. 114
    sharl says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: I’m gonna take a wild guess. Based on those pseudo-comically huge ears, in what I assume are photos adorning the holiday tree and scattered on the floor nearby, I’m guessing that these are supposed to be pictures of big ol’ stuck-up Daddy that have been given to his girls in lieu of real presents, because he’s a stuck-up, mean Daddy who’s all stuck-up and self-absorbed ‘n’ shit.

    Yeah, the cartoon and the concept are lame, but that’s how wingnuts roll…

    ETA – Aaand, GregB at #112 (and possibly others upthread) done beat me to it.

  115. 115
    Gex says:

    @Chris: This is being bookmarked to be submitted for the comment of the year.

  116. 116

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Yeah what Matt F said. It’s part of the “Obummer is a Narcissist” meme.

  117. 117
    gwangung says:

    @Sly:

    This is a statement made by people who do not realize that the “X-American” convention, as in African-American or Asian-American, was adopted not so much in an effort to preserve any particular minority identity, but to remind white Americans that non-whites can, in fact, be Americans, too.

    Yuppers (speaking as someone old enough to have been a witness)(sigh).

    These bozos have the default American as a white male. It shows through in almost every argument they make and they resist like hell when you point it out to them.

  118. 118
    Steeplejack says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    I think the “joke” is that the girls are getting only Obama swag for presents. And the tree is decorated only with Obama ornaments. It’s high-larious, I tell you, hilarious!

  119. 119
    greennotGreen says:

    I don’t think they can hear themselves

    It’s really hard for Republicans to hear with their fingers in their ears while they yell, “LALALA” as loud as they can.

  120. 120
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @MattF:
    @GregB:
    @sharl:
    @ranchandsyrup:

    Thanks for the input! If that was supposed to be funny then boy oh boy was that a fucking bomb. It’s funny how wingers think Obama is the antichrist and like to portray the left as viewing him as Jesus himself.

    What a lame ‘cartoon’. It’s already probably gone viral on the right now…lol!

  121. 121
    shortstop says:

    @gwangung: And yet everyone else practices “identity politics.” White, Christian males don’t. Right.

  122. 122
    shortstop says:

    The cartoon is stupid. Everyone knows the uppit…er, narcissistic Negro has minaret-shaped ornaments all over his non-Christmas tree.

  123. 123
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    You all have it wrong. Bob Costas is history’s greatest monster! Because ZOMG he should keep to the game and stick his nose out of my gunz!

  124. 124
    Felonius Monk says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Then there’s this:

    Bob Costas isn’t the Biggest Threat to Gun Ownership

    (Caution: Maybe not for womenz and childrenz)

  125. 125

    @arguingwithsignposts: I was pleasantly surprised this morning that Costas stuck to his guns (pun intended) for the most part on Dan Patrick’s radio show. He (rightly) pointed out that the ubiquity of gun culture makes the younger generation cavalier about gun issues.

  126. 126
    Chris says:

    @👽 Martin:

    Maybe by not telling him something, you were telling him? A conspiracy of silence, as it were? Words fail me, except that that’s pretty funny.

    @Gex:

    You hear that? BOOKMARK IT, LIBS! And, more seriously, thank you kindly.

  127. 127
    gelfling545 says:

    @Comrade Luke: The RC church and I parted ways about 35 years ago but I still have a fondness for the Jesuits. Their philosophy of living as “men and women for others” strikes a chord with me.

  128. 128
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @shortstop:

    Now that’s funny, but only because I know that you were snarking on the stupidity of the right. If what you said were to be depicted in the same type of ‘cartoon’ that I linked to above, it wouldn’t be funny because I would know that the creator believed just that.

    Funny; teh lef haz it and the right never will.

  129. 129
    JustAnotherBob says:

    @ranchandsyrup: They’re becoming a minority group composed mainly of “less than intelligent” straight white guys. Along with some foolish white women.

    Now they are casting around to see how to recruit some of the lightest skinned “other people” to their side.

  130. 130
    TooManyJens says:

    On the one hand, people say things like “ACORN stole the election for Obama” and “Obama isn’t a natural born citizen” because it’s a sort of in-group marker. They say the things that people in their group say, to identify themselves as part of the group. It doesn’t mean they necessarily believe this stuff, though some do.

    On the other hand, realizing that people have to say increasingly batshit things in order to continue to prove their allegiance to one of the two major parties in the US isn’t exactly comforting.

    I’m also amused to note from the URL that there have been 7 posts on BJ titled “Still Not Getting It.” ‘Twas ever thus.

  131. 131
    WereBear says:

    @The Red Pen: 49% of Republicans think Acorn stole the 2012 election. Understanding still isn’t their strong point.

    Holy crap, that’s insane. Are they unaware of the Republican operatives who helped drive it into extinction?

    They ARE that stupid…

  132. 132
    SatanicPanic says:

    @👽 Martin: That’s classic. I always told my son there’s no such thing as Santa, but I’m going to ask him why he thinks adults have created this myth, should be interesting.

  133. 133
    feebog says:

    First, we take all them brown people and soak them in bleach until they become Amuricans, and then, freedoms!

  134. 134
    gogol's wife says:

    @Sly:

    God, haven’t read the rest of the thread and couldn’t make it through the whole five minutes, but that is amazingly racist.

  135. 135

    @JustAnotherBob: But they don’t want even the lightest skin blah person, it seems.

  136. 136
    JoyfulA says:

    @Southern Beale: My favorite Subway is owned by a Muslim.

  137. 137
    jp7505a says:

    Will that be before or after they self-deport?

  138. 138
    JustAnotherBob says:

    @ranchandsyrup: They’re trying to buy in bulk. Too much effort to sort out the acceptable skins in the self-identified blahs.

    Stick a Rubio up front and get a shipment of Hispanic. That’s about as much work as they want to do. Actually understanding and accommodating would be such an effort….

  139. 139
    shortstop says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: But, but P.J. O’Rourke! Dennis Miller!

    Lord, lord, the usual GOP rejoinder to our accurate charge of terminal unfunniness is worse than not responding at all. It’s like somebody saying, “You don’t know how to cook!” and retorting, “Green bean casserole with canned beans and Campbell’s mushroom soup, PLUS Velveeta and canned tomato microwave dip! That’s two things!”

  140. 140
    shortstop says:

    @JustAnotherBob: Too much effort and also: the Other are an inscrutable mystery. Who can understand them? We should just extend a hand of friendship and not try to decipher their odd customs and folkways.

  141. 141
    Roger Moore says:

    @shortstop:

    We should just extend a hand of friendship and not try to decipher their odd customs and folkways flinch at the touch of their unclean skin.

    FTFY.

  142. 142
    shortstop says:

    @Roger Moore: I LOVE YOU, UNCLEAN OTHERS!

    The third baseman occasionally imitates Ann’s shrieked tribute to Girl Americans as he walks around the house. Cracks me up.

  143. 143
    Fluke bucket says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Obama is a narcissistic. Boortz has been blathering about it for the last few days.

  144. 144
    Turgidson says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    He’s also been saying that now is the perfect time for Obama to be magnanimous and negotiate with himself about the fiscal bunny hill, so as to avoid hurting teabagger fee fees. He’s such a moran sometimes most of the time.

  145. 145
    amk says:

    shorter gooperz – traitorz !!!

  146. 146
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @shortstop:

    How true…lol!

    @Fluke bucket:

    I knew it had to be some kind of current teahadist insider ‘joke’ that was being pimped by the crazies.

    You listened to The Boor(tz)? My condolences at your loss of your time.

  147. 147
    r€nato says:

    my comment at the above-linked article at NRO. I hope they publish it.

    Jonah, please disregard these liberal scum. They are incapable of understanding this very serious, thoughtful argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care.

    Your comments regarding the ‘American-ness’ of Hispanics and other non-Aryans are right on the mark. I hope that you can persuade Marco Rubio or other early 2016 contenders to take you on as a message consultant. Surely Republican victory in 2016 will follow with such a great mind as yours to rely upon.

  148. 148
    Fluke bucket says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: no real choice in the matter. The guys in the warehouse love him.

  149. 149
    r€nato says:

    @TooManyJens: it’s true that sometimes (frequently?) they just say this shit as part of the great right-wing circle jerk.

    but if you repeat enough shit like this, pretty soon you start believing some or much of it. Especially if you live inside the bubble as they do. Like any brainwashed cult member, the line between objective reality and made-up shit begins to blur.

  150. 150
    Short Bus Bully says:

    @Mr. Longform:
    Fucking.great.comment.

    /thread

  151. 151
    Mnemosyne says:

    @AxelFoley:

    “Hey, everyone else—you can be honorary whites if you follow us. At least you won’t be lumped in with those ni-CLANG!”

    To be fair, this is the same deal that was offered to Italian and Irish immigrants, so I can see why conservatives are confused that Latinos and Asians aren’t jumping at the offer. Hmm, maybe it’s because there’s already a longstanding history of discrimination against those groups in the US and they’re offering that open hand at least 70 years too late?

  152. 152
    aimai says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    Oh, if no one else gets it I do. The implication is that Obama is such a terrible father and an egomaniac that he gives the girls stacks of pictures of himself instead of presents.

    aimai

  153. 153
    Heliopause says:

    @scav:

    marketing won’t inevitably get you everything

    Of course it won’t and I didn’t say it would. You only need a few people to buy a pet rock to make money from it. Recall that Dubya Bush flipped, depending on which exit polls you believe, maybe 5-15% of the hispanic vote in 2004 and that was a factor in winning the election. Republicans don’t need to abandon their neanderthal immigration policies — it would be nice if they did — they just need, as a first step, to talk about it less and replace it some other buzzwords. That would help them out for the next few cycles, anyway.

  154. 154
    r€nato says:

    the answer is really pretty simple. If Republicans want to get minorities to vote for them, they first need to quit it with the racist dogwhistles and pandering to immigrant-haters and bigots. That includes refusing to champion SB1070 and denouncing thugs like Joe Arpaio.

    But that’s just the first step, that’s just to stop digging the hole deeper. They can’t even go that far because whatever they do between elections to patch things up with non-Aryans, they go right back to their old habits when there’s an election to be won. Especially down in the South (and, sadly, here in AZ).

    To actually make progress with non-Aryans with regard to getting their votes, they need to sign on, in some measure, to what Democrats are already in favor of. Things like a path to citizenship for undocumented migrants and pursuing fiscal policies that are meant to help the broad middle, students, and the working poor rather than being a ruse to help the wealthy shirk ever more of their tax obligations.

    At one time the GOP at least used to pretend like what they supported also had the knock-on effect of helping the middle class as well. They can’t even bring themselves to fake it anymore. They are quite blatantly on the side of helping the wealthy preserve their power and wealth, and increase it as well, at the expense of the rest of us. And the few times they try to make it sound like they are trying to help the rest of us as well, all one needs to do is think back to the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and how that all ended up.

    Bush may be gone but the GOP is going to pay the price for his presidency for some time to come.

  155. 155
    Chris says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    To be fair, this is the same deal that was offered to Italian and Irish immigrants, so I can see why conservatives are confused that Latinos and Asians aren’t jumping at the offer.

    Sort of but not quite. The “deal” offered to the Irish and the Italians involved the WASP establishment slowly backing away from their rabid anti-Catholic/anti-“ethnic whites” stance, recognizing them as fellow Americans, letting them into their country clubs, and all that. And they have yet to offer anything like that to Latinos and Asians.

    The current situation is more like if the Ku Klux Klan and the people who supported it, in the 1920s, started stomping their feet, demanding that the Irish and Italians vote for them and not understanding why they didn’t, even as they continued to spew Irish-bashing, Italian-bashing rhetoric from every mouthpiece.

  156. 156
    andy says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): If I’m not mistaken, towards the end of the Apartheid era, South Africa was making Asians living in SA “honorary whites.” I’m sure they thought they were being generous, too…

  157. 157
    Jeremy says:

    @Mnemosyne: Also it was easier for Italians and the Irish because they are white. That strategy was never going to work on Latinos and Asians.

  158. 158
    Gwangung says:

    At one time the GOP at least used to pretend like what they supported also had the knock-on effect of helping the middle class as well. They can’t even bring themselves to fake it anymore. They are quite blatantly on the side of helping the wealthy preserve their power and wealth, and increase it as well, at the expense of the rest of us.

    And that’s precisely why they’ll find it hard to flip a good portion of Hispanics and Asians, because they come from countries where the upper class is firmly entrenched as the ruling class. Only fools would think they’d voted to remake this country into something they were desperate.y trying to escape n the first place.

    Not to mention that folks have LONG memories when it comes to their own ethnic identity.

  159. 159
    Jeremy says:

    @Heliopause: They need to drop their entire strategy. Latinos are more liberal on economic policies and health care issues, as well as African Americans, and Asians. The republican party can’t use words to get them out of this situation because a lot of Americans already have a negative view of the republican party. They need to moderate on issues across the board.

    They would be in better shape if they had liberal, moderate Republicans like they use to have back in the day.

  160. 160
    rikyrah says:

    there are no words…

    except for…

    more of this stupidity.

    yes…you Latinos and Asians…you can get ‘honorary White status’…

    oh, the fun

  161. 161
    AA+ Bonds says:

    Well the problem you see is that they hate America . . .

  162. 162
    Chris says:

    @AA+ Bonds:

    A day may come when conservatives finally get it through their fucking heads that they are not the sum and total of what constitutes America, and that it’s very possible to loathe their weasely black guts without having anything at all against America.

    But it is not this day!

  163. 163
  164. 164

    “We need to tell those people how to think correctly and then they’ll vote correctly”.

    That’s what passes for self-examination in wingnutopia. Fine, let them continue marginalizing themselves.

  165. 165
    AnnaN says:

    They do the exact same thing on ricochet.com. I can’t believe some of the things people write on that site. And the commenters? It’s a circle jerk of mutual and exultant ignorance.

  166. 166
    ChrisNYC says:

    I watched a thing that Steve Schmidt and David Plouffe did on cspan post election. Schmidt sometimes strikes me as overly “THESE Republicans are repulsive but MY type of GOPers, we’re awesome.” But he said a really smart thing — that the point of political parties is to cobble together a majority and then run their ideology through that majority to govern — i.e. let the coalition decide what the bounds of the ideology are. Until the GOPers get some real live new immigrants, women, black Americans in their group, no amount of theorizing about magic solutions will help. Tough problem. May take a couple of generations to solve. Ha ha!

  167. 167
    karen marie says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Your cache link is bad and the post is still there. It’s just stupid.

  168. 168
    r€nato says:

    @karen marie: wow. It’s funny because… their father is a narcissist and hangs ornaments that look like him all over the tree and gives his kids drawings of himself for Xmas? Is this some right wing meme like ‘teleprompter’ that you need the secret decoder ring for?

    Or it’s funny because ha ha Obama has big ears?

    But wait… Obama is a Muslim! Why are they celebrating Christmas? Shouldn’t it be Ramadan or Kwanzaa or KillWhiteyMas?

    Warning: don’t read the other toons. Not unless you take a triple dose of Aleve first. Painfully stupid.

  169. 169
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @AxelFoley: That’s the first thing I noticed.

    Just wondering how ACORN, which no longer exists thanks to Congress cutting its funding, rose up from the dead and stole the 2012 election. Just wow.

  170. 170
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @👽 Martin: No, the GOP is fine as they are. Let them dwindle.

  171. 171
    Hunter says:

    Maybe the Republicans could start by acting like we’re all Americans.

  172. 172

    @AxelFoley: Well, that is pretty much word-for-word the pitch they made to the poor Irish/Scots/Welsh trash in this country, and it worked.

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