To Bean or Not to Bean

I made a big pot of chili, and as I always do, I loaded it up with kidney and other beans, because that is how I like my chili. The mere idea that I would put beans in chili is enough to send some of my friends into a fit of rage- “That’s not chili you loser, that’s a chili flavored goulash!” I guess I just don’t understand how some things inspire the kind of deep feelings that people get regarding certain issues. It’s like the thin crust v. deep dish pizza debate, or PC v. Apple, or dry rub vs. wet rub vs. Carolina BBQ.

I realize I am probably an outlier on this sort of thing, as I am basically bi on all the issues. I like beans in my chili, but I also have had great chili without beans. I’ve had great deepdish pizza in Chicago, and I love my local DiCarlo’s tray pizza, and I also love the classic NY thin crust. I will always have a PC desktop, but you will pry my Macbook Pro, Iphone, and Ipad from my cold dead hands. I like a good Texas brisket, I like Memphis BBQ, and I think Piedmont sauce on pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw is a delicacy. They are all good in their own way!

At any rate, consider this an open thread.






148 replies
  1. 1
    SP says:

    Let us not mention the evil that is bulgar wheat.

  2. 2
    Keith says:

    Unless you’re in a chili competition, beans are fine. Hell, add some corn if you want and still call it ‘chili’ if you want…it’s your chili.

  3. 3
    The Conster says:

    Beans beams the magical fruit. The more you eat the more you toot. The more you toot the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal.

  4. 4
    different-church-lady says:

    But does your taste include both snails and oysters?

  5. 5
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    Which Carolina barbecue? There’s three–eastern North Carolina, western North Carolina, and South Carolina.

  6. 6
    Felonius Monk says:

    Holy cow, John:

    After being awol for some periods over the past week or so, you’ve been posting like crazy today. Great posts, but you didn’t take some little blue pills by mistake, did you?

  7. 7
    cathyx says:

    You sure think about food a lot.

  8. 8
    dead existentialist says:

    Bean there done that?

  9. 9
    Comrade Mary says:

    But donair pizza is always wrong. ALWAYS.

    /waits for RedKitten

  10. 10
    cathyx says:

    My sister belongs to a gourmet group. They get together every other month and cook a gourmet meal. That made me realize that I’m just not that into food like she is. I like good food, but I don’t care that I must eat the best of anything.

  11. 11
    Svensker says:

    I love beans with chili. It’s ‘Murkan!

    On the other hand, our sewer pipe has apparently broken and our sewer system has reflux. Yech. Blech. Ewww. And on the weekend, too. No chili for us for a while!

  12. 12
    Bill Barido says:

    With Cincinnati Chili you can have it both ways. In fact, you can have it 5 ways. Plain, 2 way with pasta, 3vway with beans and pasta, 4 way with beans, pasta and onions, or 5 way – all of the above and cheddar cheese on top.
    They are all very good.
    As someone who grew up in West Virginia, I prefer my pulled pork with spicy barbeque sauce and cole slaw on top. But I like other styles also.
    The only bad pizza is frozen pizza – the kind from the grocery store. But New York is excellent, hot or cold for breakfast.

    I also feel the same as you about my pc, mac mini and iphone.

  13. 13
    jharp says:

    What’s Piedmont sauce? I’m looking for a new sauce for my pulled pork.

    Thanks.

  14. 14
    Felonius Monk says:

    What you didn’t mention is Cincinnati chili — lots of beans, lots of cheese and lots of spaghetti. Yum.

  15. 15
    Del says:

    My chili recipe? A good imperial stout based chunked tomato stew with kidney and black beans, cubed carrots, red bell peppers, seared chicken or flank steak, seasonings, and decobbed fresh corn if it’s in season. Anyone that tells me that isn’t chili is a damn liar and I don’t care what their opinion is. Heck to bulk it up I occasionally add a cup or two cooked white rice if I have any on hand… I can’t imagine people who freak out about beans in their chili would have anything nice to say about that

  16. 16
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    I am basically bi on all the issues

    And that just about sums up the view from JC’s Metro-sectional sofa for today, folks. Be sure to tune in tomorrow..

  17. 17
    Narcissus says:

    @different-church-lady: This is an awful euphemism

  18. 18
    jl says:

    I like beans in chili too.

    But Cole puts kidney beans in chili, which are NEVER to be put in chili. Cole is cursed to all damnation for this outrage.

    And, the only good BBQ comes from this little ramshackle hut across from the fake Parthenon in Nasheville. Anything else is garbage.

    I am the supreme judge of everything, any who disagree are worse than Satan.

    None of that wishy washy Cole style tolerance for low standards here.

  19. 19
    Gin & Tonic says:

    Goulash doesn’t have beans! Heretic! Burn him!

    Put whatever the hell you want in your chili, but putting beans in goulash makes it not-goulash.

  20. 20
    Warren Terra says:

    Yes to beans. Also, roasted peanuts.

  21. 21
    Felonius Monk says:

    @jl:

    But Cole puts kidney beans in chili, which are NEVER to be put in chili.

    I agree. My religion forbids this — I am only allowed to use pinto beans.

  22. 22
    Craigo says:

    I will never understand what Ohio Valley folks see in DiCarlo’s.

  23. 23
    MikeBoyScout says:

    F*ck Cole! Dinner is not for 2 and a half more hours out here on the left coast, and now I’m jonesing for grub!

    And that’s before a Friday when marijwhatnow is legal here!

  24. 24
    joeyess says:

    Fuck Memphis BBQ…… what the fuck is that, anyway? Is that really something that exists? Memphis? Really?

    Oh, well. From Kansas City, here. Now you know why I’m so arrogant about this issue.

    Fuck Memphis and it’s BBQ meat-slop.

    BTW, I love beans in chili. Red beans, black beans, pintos, and then, instead of ground beef or chicken, I use eye of round steaks cut up in cubes, add as much blackened spice and chili powder as I can handle, then reduce the initial kick with brown sugar as it cooks…….. cook that slow until that meat gives up. By the time it’s ready, it’s sweet with a late kick that makes your gums glow…… my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

    Oh, and fuck Memphis BBQ Ketchup Covered Meat

  25. 25
    MikeBoyScout says:

    @Felonius Monk: You’re all missing out.

    Joan of Arc Kidney Beans
    bitches!

  26. 26
    Turgidson says:

    The partisans are usually natives of the region from which the food in question comes from. I grew up near Chicago and goddammit it, it has the best pizza anywhere, including thin crust. And I prefer a Chicago-style hot dog over a generic ketchup/mustard dog.

    But the alternative interpretations are still good. People who militantly hate a different variety of a delicious food out of some kind of hometown loyalty are weird. I ate and enjoyed many pizzas in Santa Barbara even though the pizza there is an embarrassment compared to the Chicago places I grew up with. Because even crappy pizza is usually tasty enough.

    anyway…I agree, but don’t. Or something.

  27. 27
    Yutsano says:

    @Comrade Mary: CANUCKISTANI FIGHT!!

    Had pizza in Germany. It was terrible. And Pizza Hut is huge in Japan. Go figure.

  28. 28
    SatanicPanic says:

    @MikeBoyScout: Seconded. YOU’RE MAKING ME HUNGRY COLE!

  29. 29
    Quicksand says:

    Kidney beans are an abomination.

    That is all.

  30. 30
    jl says:

    @Felonius Monk:

    I was joking. Actually I don’t give a damn what kind of beans are in the chili.

    Though it is true that some kinds of beans are less tolerant of sloppy cooking than others. Kidney beans are one of those. Until they are almost done, need to keep acids like tomato away from any bean that has potential to be a pain in the neck from tough skin.

    That is true of any bean, but the results sloppy cooking are worse for some beans than others.

  31. 31
    General Stuck says:

    3/4 of my diet is one kind of bean stew or soup or another. Favorite is a slow cook croc pot of large lima beans with a bag of cut onions and cut green beans.

  32. 32
    YellowJournalism says:

    We’re makin our own damn pizza tonight. The best way to satisfy all the different pizza tastes in the house. No whining about “just cheese,” “extra pepperoni,” or “no mushrooms.” (Okay, that last one is me. I just never liked them on my pizza.)

  33. 33
    Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    @Bill Barido: Trader Joe’s actually has some decent frozen pizza. The 4-cheese and margherita are both pretty great.*

    *For frozen pizza.

  34. 34
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @General Stuck: Ewww.

  35. 35
    muddy says:

    Decades ago, I was very young and newly married, and proudly served up my excellent thick chili. Hubs says this is *not* chili, there’s not enough sauce. The pot of chili hit the backsplash by the sink and fell in. The sink had dishwater in it. I said there’s your fucking sauce, asshole. Did I mention the marriage lasted 5 months? LOL, I can still see his silly face, all shocked.

  36. 36
    Lee Rudolph says:

    I think Piedmont sauce on pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw

    Conflict of interest.

  37. 37

    It was always our tradition in the UK to serve chili (with beans) over rice. I am surprised that here in Eastern NC it is simply served in a bowl almost as a soup course. Very strange. I still adore a really good chilli over plain white rice. Yum.

  38. 38
    General Stuck says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    No soup for you!!

  39. 39
    kdaug says:

    What is this “football” thing you’re going on about all the time?

    “Teams”?

  40. 40
    TR says:

    It’s not chili without beans.

    And you people who put spaghetti in it can just go to hell.

  41. 41
    Yutsano says:

    @YellowJournalism: We may need to have a long, serious talk. Criminis on pizza are fecking divine.

    Of course we subsisted on Pizza Pipeline and Pizza Perfection back in the days. I can’t count how many of those were a cold breakfast for me the next day. :)

  42. 42
    kdaug says:

    What is this “football” thing you’re going on about all the time?

    “Teams”?

  43. 43
    Redkitten says:

    @Comrade Mary: BITE YOUR TONGUE, WOMAN!! Donair pizza is the food of the (drunk at 3 a.m.) gods!

  44. 44
    TR says:

    It’s not chili without beans.

    And you people who put spaghetti in it can just go to hell.

  45. 45
    joeyess says:

    @muddy: jesus…. lol

  46. 46
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Goulash doesn’t have beans! Heretic! Burn him!

    But there’s Goulash and then there’s Goulash!

    In New York restaurants you’ll find goulash, sometimes called American Goulash, made from ground beef, elbow macaroni, and tomato sauce. The goulash I grew up on came from the Polish and Czech neighborhood restaurants on the west side of Cleveland — pork/beef, sauerkraut, sour cream and dumplings.

  47. 47
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @General Stuck: Fine. I’d rather eat earthworms than lima beans.

  48. 48
    muddy says:

    Please provide proof-of-life photos for all 3 of your animals, this chili talk makes me suspicious.

  49. 49
    Rafer Janders says:

    They are all good in their own way!

    So what you’re saying, John, is that Both Sides Do It.

  50. 50
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Goulash doesn’t have beans! Heretic! Burn him!

    But there’s Goulash and then there’s Goulash!

    In New York restaurants you’ll find goulash, sometimes called American Goulash, made from ground beef, elbow macaroni, and tomato sauce. The goulash I grew up on came from the Polish and Czech neighborhood restaurants on the west side of Cleveland — pork/beef, sauerkraut, sour cream and dumplings.

  51. 51
    Yutsano says:

    @Comrade Mary: @Redkitten: I luvs ya both, but I know better than to cross the pregnant redhead here. Hopefully very soon I’m about to be related to one!

  52. 52
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Turgidson:

    I saw a review of a pizza place on Yelp where the guy went into a rant about how Chicago is the worst pizza town in the entire country and people who claim to like it are just lying to save face. It was a little scary, actually.

    (The review is for Casa Bianca in Eagle Rock, if you’re curious.)

  53. 53
    jl says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    ” our tradition in the UK to serve chili (with beans) over rice. ”

    That is going to inspire sputtering outrage or pants pissing panic from some commenters here. I predict some one will try to exorcise the demonic spirits of that abomination.

    Though, I might try out chili and rise some time.

  54. 54

    @Yutsano:
    When I was serving in Hong Kong there was a Pizza Hut that we would visit, with a one visit salad bar. I would watch with absolute awe at the way the Hong Kong Chinese would manage to pile so much stuff into a single salad bowl. They would basically put their stuff in and then by the cunning use of cucumber slices placed along the very edges of the bowl increase the size of the bowl, then fill it up some more, then more cucumber slices until the bowl was teetering at about two feet tall, all filled with salad items, it was a marvel to watch them build the thing and then carry it back to their table. The Pizza was shitty but the entertainment was worth it.

  55. 55
    Karen in So Cal says:

    My son is in South Korea teaching English. The pizza there has CORN on it. Who ever heard of that???

  56. 56

    @Yutsano:
    When I was serving in Hong Kong there was a Pizza Hut that we would visit, with a one visit salad bar. I would watch with absolute awe at the way the Hong Kong Chinese would manage to pile so much stuff into a single salad bowl. They would basically put their stuff in and then by the cunning use of cucumber slices placed along the very edges of the bowl increase the size of the bowl, then fill it up some more, then more cucumber slices until the bowl was teetering at about two feet tall, all filled with salad items, it was a marvel to watch them build the thing and then carry it back to their table. The Pizza was shitty but the entertainment was worth it.

  57. 57

    I’m an omnivore so I think these distinctions are silly. I’m more like a sewer. If food gets close to the grate, it’s going down. #tallhuskygentlemen problems
    I refuse to sacrifice personal preference for convention. Just how the founding fathers would have wanted it.

  58. 58
    joes527 says:

    @Bill Barido: Cincinnati chili is proof that johns “everything is good in its own way” is hopelessly naive.

  59. 59
    MonkeyBoy says:

    Ilike to cook chili without beans because

    1. Some people don’t like beans
    2. If you cook the beans separate from the chili then they can contain different flavorings. True, the beans and chili will have many ingredients in common but you could have say the chili heavy on cumin while the beans are heavy on bacon and bay. Think about is as making meat only and bean only chili in 2 different styles.

    I’ve been known to serve pineapple chili where pineapple rings are grilled then cut into skinny radial pieces. Each person can put as much chili, beans, and pineapple on their plate as they want and mix them all together if they want.

  60. 60
    tybee says:

    no such thing as bad Q

    chili with/without beans is good eats if the recipe was decent.

  61. 61
    PsiFighter37 says:

    Shit day at work. Had my end of year review with my bosses, and it was worse than I expected. Not awful, but was very surprised and not happy at all.

    Just played through a few mining rounds in Diablo III, now popping a beer. Going out for dinner in an hour or so, so I need to get in a better/happier frame of mind.

    Goddammit.

  62. 62
    tybee says:

    @joeyess:

    KC is the only city where i’ve seen BBQ on a breakfast menu.

  63. 63
    tybee says:

    @General Stuck:

    needs cornbread. preferably jalopeno cornbread.

  64. 64
    sylvan says:

    I realize I am probably an outlier on this sort of thing

    Probably? You’ve admitted that you enjoy ham salad.

    That ship has sailed.

  65. 65
    jeffreyw says:

    Over in the food porn thread at Reddit, there’s a guy gave me all kinds of grief saying that my pot pies were not pot pies because they were not cooked in a pot, dammit!

  66. 66
    Roger Moore says:

    I’m more of a purist when making my own chili- basically just meat, chiles, onion, garlic, and spices- but I can appreciate other varieties. And bear in mind that the bare-bones Texas style is the original that everyone else is riffing off of with their beans, tomatoes, veggies, spaghetti, etc.

  67. 67
    Redkitten says:

    @Comrade Mary: Bite your tongue, you heretic. Donair pizza is the food of the gods. The gods of late-night collegiate drunkenness, perhaps, but still…

  68. 68
    Felonius Monk says:

    @muddy:

    I said there’s your fucking sauce, asshole.

    I guess chili counseling was out of the question, huh?

  69. 69
    Maude says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    School lunch had chili over white rice.
    My mother made chili with kidney beans. I used to try to get invited out to dinner those nights.
    When I made chilli as an adult, it came out exactly like hers. I ate it.

  70. 70
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Felonius Monk:

    Some people don’t realize that there are macaroons (Eastern European/Jewish stacks of coconut held together with flour and sugar) and macaroons (French meringue cookies). Again on Yelp, someone gave a bad review to a French-Vietnamese bakery because they said they had macaroons and they lied (ie the poster was expecting Eastern European macaroons and was given French macaroons) and the reviewer absolutely refused to believe that there were two different cookies with the same name.

  71. 71
    Redkitten says:

    Forgive the duplicate comment. Phone is acting ip.

  72. 72
    Jade Jordan says:

    Thanks Cole, we already knew you were a wishy washy ***hole.

  73. 73

    @PsiFighter37:

    Sorry to hear that, I do not have to go through such things as end of year reviews seeing as I am the sole paralegal to a sole practitioner attorney. My annual evaluations tend to go like this (something happens where I have to take a couple of days off, like my mum having a heart attack when she was visiting), on my return my boss will say “you know if anything ever happens to you I am completely and utterly fucked”. End of evaluation.

  74. 74
    Maude says:

    @PsiFighter37:
    It hurts. Drink til you stink.

  75. 75
    Mnemosyne says:

    @jeffreyw:

    Tell him that next time you’ll make them in a set of these.

  76. 76
    PurpleGirl says:

    I don’t like beans in my chili but that’s because my system doesn’t like beans and I have to avoid them. Otherwise, I’ve always seen beans in chili along with which ever meat the cook used. (Chili is divine, period, over rice, with chips, on tortillas, with corn, peppers and onions added. Experiment with it. The spices and flavors are divine!)

  77. 77
    magurakurin says:

    @Yutsano:

    And Pizza Hut is huge in Japan. Go figure.

    standards for pizza are shockingly low here. Corn on pizza??? Mayonaise??? Fish eggs????????

    But, if you search the Vera Pizza data base, you can actually find awesome, certified Napoli-style pizza right here in Nihon. We have a shop in our little town. Sugattii Pizza is amazingly good. Because, we can go on about New York-Chicago-Whatever….but the real pizza is still in Napoli. That is just all kinds of wonderful, the pizza there.

  78. 78

    Amen, brother Cole. Each to his own. And if someone hands me a plate of BBQ or pizza, my response is not “who the hell eats that kind of slop!” No, I say with a big grin “THANK YOU”!!!

  79. 79
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Mnemosyne: Um, the meringue-bases ones are macarons, not macaroons.

  80. 80
    RSA says:

    They are all good in their own way!

    Blasphemy! My favorite food/computer/car company is the One True Food/Computer/Car Company!

  81. 81
    Darkrose says:

    For all y’all California, Michigan and Arkansas folks,

    There are three Dem Senators wibbling on filibuster reform:

    Dianne Feinstein
    Mark Pryor
    Carl Levin

    I’m sure they don’t want to destroy “Senate comity”, but as I wrote to DiFi, we elect them to do a job. If they’re being prevented from doing said job, that needs to stop.

  82. 82
    Yutsano says:

    @Redkitten: Tunch is terrorizing the gerbils again. We may need to break out the really expensive sushi-grade ahi to placate him.

  83. 83
    Tim F. says:

    Deep dish is not pizza, it’s pizza casserole. Also, the best PC I ever owned was a dual-booting Mac.

  84. 84
    Felonius Monk says:

    @PsiFighter37:

    it was worse than I expected. Not awful, but was very surprised and not happy at all.

    Been there, done that, know exactly how you feel. Fuck’m just go out and enjoy your dinner.

  85. 85
  86. 86
    PeakVT says:

    I like chili on rice, spaghetti, cornbread, tortilla chips, and fritos. Not all at the same time, though. I have limits.

    ETA: Beans are just fine in my book. I prefer small black beans. I used canned ones, and add them late in the process after thoroughly washing them. Pintos are second best; most others taste horrible to me.

    Sometimes I add whole hominy to my veggie recipie, but that makes it a very different dish.

  87. 87
    dmsilev says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: My dad used to do the same thing, though for added height, he’d use ribs of celery with leaves of iceberg lettuce to fill in the gaps. My mom would look at the edifice, say “engineers!” and roll her eyes.

  88. 88
    Roger Moore says:

    @Karen in So Cal:
    You’d probably object to my pizza that uses pork chile verde instead of tomato sauce and toppings.

  89. 89
    Comrade Mary says:

    @Redkitten: The gods are punishing you. (Or else it’s just fucking RIM, you know?)

    Donair and its sauce are fine. Just not on pizza.

    Anyway, everyone with tastebuds knows that the best late night drunk food is some kind of curry: classic South Asian, Caribbean roti or Jamaican patties, or even English style. Just be nice to your waiter, you wankers.

  90. 90

    @Redkitten:

    I think ANY food that is eaten in those “I am absolutely drunk as a skunk and am so hungry I could eat a horse between two bread vans” type of food is always remembered as the best in the world. For me it is Chip Shop Curry sauce over chips (fries), on freezing winter nights after an evening at “The Bop” (the night club on base) where we would all visit the “Oggie Wagon” (mobile food truck) where we would stuff our faces with mounds of absolute junk. When you are drunk any food is brilliant.

  91. 91
    jeffreyw says:

    @Mnemosyne: Hee hee hee Love it!

  92. 92
    Redkitten says:

    Question…if I turned off the mobile version of Balloon Juice on my phone, how the hell do I turn it back on?

  93. 93
    Redkitten says:

    @Comrade Mary: Tis not RIM. I use an Android.

  94. 94
    Roger Moore says:

    @RSA:

    My favorite food/computer/car company is the One True Food/Computer/Car Company!

    EMACS for ever! Down with vi!

  95. 95
    Jay Essell says:

    Dude, I am right there with you — I just caught what might be a mistake on a job I sent out today, which was, like ALL our g-ddamn work lately, supposed to be done flawlessly in a five-second turnaround. Not sure I should go in on Monday.

  96. 96
    👽 Martin says:

    2 guidelines:

    Chili you eat as a meal or side dish should have beans. A bowl of meat with no starch is a bit much for me.
    Chili you put on burgers, dogs, that kind of thing as a condiment should not have beans – you don’t need the starch filler.

    Not a hard rule, but that’s how I go.

  97. 97

    @dmsilev:

    Ha Ha I never thought of that (neither did the Hong Kong peeps, probably cause they cut the celery really short for that reason).

  98. 98

    @Litlebritdifrnt: hey litbrit, meant to tell you yesterday, those pics of Flossy are outstanding. :)

  99. 99
    Roger Moore says:

    @Yutsano:
    Might I suggest that if Tunch wants to eat the gerbils, he should have to run in the treadmill until he’s worked his way down to a properly svelte feline physique.

  100. 100
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Mnemosyne: You can make really great bread in a flower pot. I tried it and could not believe what a wonderful loaf of bread it was.

  101. 101
    PurpleGirl says:

    @jeffreyw: AAaaawwww, pretty kitteh.

  102. 102
    Roger Moore says:

    @Comrade Mary:

    Anyway, everyone with tastebuds knows that the best late night drunk food is some kind of curry: classic South Asian, Caribbean roti or Jamaican patties, or even English style.

    Spoken like somebody who’s never eaten an okidog.

  103. 103

    @ranchandsyrup:

    Thanks, she is a trip that is for sure, it is a delight to have a dog back in the house, I have missed it so. Of course my arms look like cheese graters right now and I have a neato scratch on my nose, but who cares. There be Puppeh here!

  104. 104
    Comrade Carter says:

    I have many Macs… Yes, I have used Microsoft and Linux (because it’s better to know them when you’re working in the tech industry…), that said:

    You can get the application Bean (a freeware word processor for the Mac) at macupdate.com

    It goes well with or without chili.

  105. 105
    Comrade Mary says:

    @Redkitten: Ah. Android’s all right, but alas, poor RIM, its market share continues to decline.

  106. 106
    Felonius Monk says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I think I read a quote somewhere from one of the Founding Fathers about this— something to the effect of “Load up the Pie Hole”.

  107. 107
    JPL says:

    This post is kinda full of farts.

  108. 108
    Turgidson says:

    @Tim F.:

    FALSE! :)

    I’ll tell you what’s not pizza. Putting BBQ chicken, alfredo sauce, and whatever else weird toppings on a round crust like CPK and “artisan” pizza places do. Those things might be tasty, and that’s great. But they’re not pizza.

  109. 109

    @Felonius Monk: I believe the quote was “Loadest up thy pie hole and worry not for thoust waistline”. Then some USA chanting.

  110. 110
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    When you are drunk any food is brilliant.

    My favorite after a long night of overindulging in things alcoholic was to go to an all night coffee shop for pancakes and chocolate milk. That always brought the world back in focus.

  111. 111
    Felonius Monk says:

    @ranchandsyrup: Amen!

  112. 112
    Felonius Monk says:

    @JPL:

    This post is kinda full of farts.

    Are you referring to the the Posters or the postings?

  113. 113
    JPL says:

    @Felonius Monk: beans, beans, beans and Mr. Bean to you…

  114. 114
    Maude says:

    @Roger Moore:
    96
    Tunch id floofy.

  115. 115
    Linus Pickle says:

    I wasn’t even aware you could make chili without beans- I’ve always thought of them as central to the recipe. But in general, I find folks who insist that the way they do a dish is THE ONLY RIGHT WAY TO DO IT are self-centered assholes. Not everyone likes it the way you do. So? The fact that Cioppino exists doesn’t make Bouillabaisse any less delicious, or vice versa. Live and let live.

  116. 116
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @Maude: If I do that, the denizens of BJ will be unhappy at my incomprehensible drunken ramblings.

    @Felonius Monk: Yeah, that’s the plan. At least until I have to see everyone back at work on Monday.

    On another note – I am throwing a New Year’s Eve party at my place in a month, and I’ve taken it upon myself to cook a shitload of food for everyone. I went way overboard (quantity-wise) last year, but does anyone have any good recipe suggestions?

  117. 117
    Death Panel Truck says:

    @Bill Barido:

    The only bad pizza is frozen pizza

    I would eat a Red Baron frozen pizza before I’d eat a Papa John’s pizza, and not because the owner is an asshole. Papa John’s pizza is gag-inducing. A friend of my wife gave her a coupon for a free pizza. It’s a good thing it was free, ’cause I’d have hated to pay for that nasty slab of shit.

  118. 118
    Joseph Nobles says:

    @magurakurin: And in Dallas at Cane Russo, where the proprietor honeymooned in Napoli and swore to bring that pie back. And he did. His oven was built there and he imported a master pie chef from there. They pull their own mozz. It’s freaking awesome.

    Beans in chili is a heresy? Nay, but pineapple is. Begone, foul demon.

  119. 119
    Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Agreed!

  120. 120
    A moocher says:

    @Roger Moore: dang.

  121. 121
    Lojasmo says:

    Never beans, corn, or grains. Never.

  122. 122
    Barry says:

    “That’s not chili you loser, that’s a chili flavored goulash!”

    What’s funny is that I’ve actually had goulash, as the Hungarians make it.

    No beans, but seven different kinds of meat, and bright red from paprika.

  123. 123
    Calouste says:

    @Narcissus:

    It’s a line from Spartacus.

  124. 124
    JustRuss says:

    @Death Panel Truck: First and only Papa John’s pizza I had was with a free coupon. I’d rather have frozen too. I had a bunch of half-off coupons, threw ’em away. They’re no longer in business around here, I can’t see how that jerk got rich selling such crap.

    As for beans, I have a daughter who won’t eat ’em. She’ll maybe be moving out soon, and I’ll happily go back to making chili with beans, corn, tomatoes, and other affronts to humanity. Come to think of it she’s traveling next week, I feel a chilifest coming on.

  125. 125
    RSA says:

    @Roger Moore:

    EMACS for ever! Down with vi!

    I tease my computer science students about that one. Also LaTeX versus Word. And Lisp versus Python.

  126. 126
    Darkrose says:

    @RSA: I tease my computer science students about that one. Also LaTeX versus Word. And Lisp versus Python.

    Pine is totally dumbing down email. Elm lives!

  127. 127
    Keith says:

    @joeyess: Glad to read someone mention cubed beef in a conversation about the purity of chili. I rarely make it that way (competition-style with no beans and no ground beef), but it really is a nice change of pace. The beef is beefier, IMO, and it makes a hell of a topping.

  128. 128
    akaka says:

    I am so pie deprived that I took PC vs. Apple to be peach cobbler vs. apple pie. sigh.

  129. 129
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    According to Wikipedia, only if you’re a food snob:

    Since the English word macaroon can also refer to the coconut macaroon, many have adopted the French spelling of macaron to distinguish the two items in the English language. However, this has caused confusion over the correct spelling. Some recipes exclude the use of macaroon to refer to this French confection while others think that they are synonymous.

  130. 130
    Felonius Monk says:

    @PsiFighter37:

    On another note – I am throwing a New Year’s Eve party at my place in a month,

    I thought I read somewhere recently that the world is supposed to come to an end on December 21 — maybe you won’t have to cook after all.

  131. 131
    muddy says:

    @Felonius Monk:

    I guess chili counseling was out of the question, huh?

    He didn’t even taste it. Fuck that.

    Then after I posted that I couldn’t get the page to load again for an hour. I think the gods got after me for taking childish glee in remembering it.

  132. 132
    Gravenstone says:

    Just finished off my most recent pot of chili – three types of beans, hominy and a touch of brown sugar. Fuck ’em if they don’t like it.

  133. 133
    Bobby Thomson says:

    When I was about six or seven my mother taught me to make chili with ground beef, kidney beans, and tomatoes. It’s a lot healthier, cheaper, and flavorful than beef alone, and any one who doesn’t like it can GFT. White beans work, pinto beans work, black beans work, great northern beans work. Shit, even garbanzo beans work.

  134. 134
    trollhattan says:

    @Gravenstone:

    three types of beans, hominy and a touch of brown sugar.

    Read that as “…Romney and a touch of brown sugar,” which really sent the mind to an odd place.

  135. 135
    Ron says:

    I like beans in my chili, but just not kidney beans. Also, Apple is the devil incarnate. That is all.

  136. 136
    slag says:

    It is weird that rather than simply saying “I don’t like that” some people have to either exclude whatever it is from their definition of what it should be or to even outright invalidate its right to exist. I wonder what benefit some people get from that.

    Is such a response an overcompensation for an insecurity about not feeling “cosmopolitan” by having varied enough tastes? Is that a thing?

  137. 137
    dexwood says:

    Look, chile, as correctly spelled by New Mexicans, is a food of the people. It’s recipe varies from place to place, from on-hand ingredients to on-hand ingredients. Cubed beef, ground pork? Throw it in if that’s what you have. Lamb? sure if ya’ got it. Beans? Always nearby if not always in the chile. Potatoes? Why not if you have them? Onion? Yea, if you have one.Red chile? Green chile? Definitely depending on the season. But I stand against Christmas – a a mix of red chile and green chile. Overkill and disrespectful to the chile. One or the other, my friend, as intended. You will not, however, find kidney beans in chile in New Mexico unless it’s being made by someone who recently moved here.

  138. 138
    scarshapedstar says:

    Chili with no beans is just, like, sloppy joe stuff.

  139. 139
    Concerned Citizen says:

    Wishy Washy bastard. You’ll never amount to anything.

  140. 140
    John says:

    We’re having a chili cook-off at my office on Monday to raise money for local food bank. Can you share your recipe – I’m one of the chefs and looking for something different?

  141. 141
    greenergood says:

    There’s just so much food in America – well, on the east coast anyway, where my mum lives. I go into stores and have to leave because there’s just so many choices – hundreds of kinds of yogurts, cheeses, dips, crackers, cereals, muffins, candy, etc. etc. It’s kind of mind-boggling.
    But I’ve always thought chili had beans in it! Pintos, black-eyed and kidneys.
    Went to Eastchester Fish with my mum today for lunch and had a quesadilla with shrimp, crab, scallops, black beans and cheese, with a warm salsa, for $12, with a bowl of gorgeous Manhattan clam chowder as a side, and thought ‘Why, in Scotland with all its fishy fish, can we not get this for less than $50, if at all?’ I couldn’t live here for much longer than a month a year – otherwise I’d be size XXXL.

  142. 142
    ruemara says:

    1. With Beans. Otherwise, it is spicy pasta sauce.
    2. With spinach, to add a rich, earthy flavour and increase the nutritional value.
    3. garlic and onions browned with the meat.

    I also make it with turkey, so suck on that. And I hate Cincinnati style stuff. What’s next, adding cinnamon? Chili goes over rigatoni.

  143. 143
    ExpatDanBKK says:

    @Karen in So Cal:

    My son is in South Korea teaching English. The pizza there has CORN on it. Who ever heard of that???

    My first time out for pizza in Japan some 20-odd years ago had us eating pizza with corn and 1000-Island dressing vs tomato sauce. Blech!

    I’m in the chili w/beans camp and prefer red (kidney) beans. But I do make an awesome and award winning Black Bean Bambi Chili (aka venison, of course). Extra cumin, a splash or more of cheap burgundy wine and at least one fresh habanero please, please.

  144. 144
    Woodrowfan says:

    Ugh, I pick the beans out of chili. chili is best without beans, served on spaghetti with grated cheese on top.

  145. 145
    tominwv says:

    @Keith:

    When I make chili, I make purees of dried red chilies, negro, ancho, arbol. That is chili. I have these in the fridge all the time. If I want chili con carne I add meat, cubed beef and pork, never ground. To this I add onions, garlic, a bit of cumin and other Mexican spices. never beans and no chili powder. I make it New Mexico style. Serve beans on the side, along with steamed corn tortillas.

    If I add beans it becomes chili beans, OK to use ground beef for this as it is good as a taco and burrito filling; green chilies with pork is chili Verde, never beans; green with hominy is pozole, never beans here too. I make a variety of other stews with the usual mix of meats and vegetables you find in most stews and then flavored with chili and they become chili flavored (name) stew.

    Pozole and chili Verde are well known, the only naming rule I have is chili con carne is chili. The rest are ad hoc and don’t have formal names except for what I feel like throwing in the pot. They all have chilies as the prime flavoring ingredients, so I guess they could all be called chili.

  146. 146
    Starlit says:

    @jl: I didn’t know that. Noted!

    On another note, since I don’t hail from a chili-bragging state, I do have a question: if you don’t have beans in chili, doesn’t that mean you’re either eating tomato soup with beef or spaghetti sauce sans spaghetti?

  147. 147
    Starlit says:

    @PsiFighter37: I haz a sad on your behalf. My company doesn’t give annual performance reviews, because that would imply a reward for work well done. So if you’re doing well, you get told how you’re screwing up somewhere else on a frequent randomized basis, so that there’s never any question about how much of a dumbass you are compared to the Omniscient, Almighty Brass. It’s easier to face when there’s no hope.

  148. 148
    eclare says:

    @joeyess: fuck you. Since when do you get 100k people to celebrate bbq in your shit town? And Yes, I’m from Memphis, and yes, I’m on a team.

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