The Truth About Cats and Dogs

This made me laugh:

It’s true.

41 replies
  1. 1
    kerFuFFler says:

    I think I may have come across this cat vs. dog gem here in a comment thread:

  2. 2
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    Totally accurate except for one thing:

    The “cat friend” wouldn’t have puked on the floor. Instead he would have puked on the counter, on the bed, on the sofa, in your shoes, etc.

  3. 3
    👽 Martin says:

    Cat friend needed to climb on the pillow on the bed and start licking his balls 3 inches from your face.

    Dog friend needed to bark to go outside at 3AM, and then refuse to go outside and grab his ball wanting to play instead.

  4. 4
    red dog says:

    Cat friends are everywhere and a pain in the ass. Dog friends are rare and help make us complete.

  5. 5
    Raven says:

    The facebook likes will be rollin in most rickey tic!

  6. 6
    jheartney says:

    Cats are not aloof in the way shown; they just keep their dignity and respect your space if they don’t know you. Our cats are plenty friendly if they feel like it. However, they make you earn it.

    I’ll admit they do love barfing. But no self-respecting cat will barf on a hard floor if there is carpet available.

  7. 7
    trollhattan says:

    Hilarious–Friday is now even better.

  8. 8
    Rosalita says:

    I just watched this today and laughed my ass off, I’m glad you saw it too. All too true.

  9. 9
    Rosalita says:

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage:

    Totally accurate except for one thing:
    The “cat friend” wouldn’t have puked on the floor. Instead he would have puked on the counter, on the bed, on the sofa, in your shoes, etc.

    or most commonly, on the carpet. Factoid: they don’t like to yak on slippery surface – no traction

  10. 10
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    My wife never had a pet before she had to live with my 16 year old long-haired tabby. Every time the cat pukes she tells me that I need to take him to the doctor and I tell her that’s just what cats do – puke.

    My cat is extremely social and always knows which visitors are allergic to him, and then spends every moment of their visit trying to rub some dander into their clothes.

  11. 11
    Schlemizel says:

    Its odd, I have 2 cats; one chucks regularly the other never. I have no idea why that is.

    I owned an afghan hound for a bit and she was a beautiful dog with the personality of a cat. She loved me & would run to meet me, put her front paws on my shoulders & give me a hug. If she didn’t like you she gave you a look of disdain, toss her head and walk away. I never saw her slobber herself hoping to get attention. She was the best dog ever

  12. 12
    Violet says:

    That is hilarious. I kept laughing out loud, for reals.

  13. 13
    jl says:

    Just for the record, my folks’ new cat is very mellow and friendly. Not like the cat stereotype at all.

    It was an accidental acquisition. Was apparently abandoned and hanging around back door hoping for food handout, and after looking for owner, got adopted.

    The old cat is very old, thin and shaky, and sad sight to see, and not sure how long for this world.

    And I did have cat once that seemed at least 3/4 dog personality. Like to play fetch and keep away.

    And did have a dog that basically wanted to sleep on the couch, and other than that didn’t want to be messed with. Laziest dog in the history of the universe.

    So, as a mainly dog person, I say, stop these insulting cat stereotypes.

    But, the clip was funny. Thanks.

  14. 14
    dr. bloor says:

    @red dog:

    Go screw yourself.

    /cat friend

  15. 15
    YellowJournalism says:

    The dog friend would have been waiting for the friend to drop something while cooking and immediately snatch it up and run away to his favorite eating space away from the dog bowl.

    Since the cat friend was a guy, I was expecting him to “spray” somewhere.

  16. 16
    NCSteve says:

    @jheartney: As god as my witness, this is true.

    One of mine started making the “huckuck! huckuk!” ohnogonnabarf noises in the hardwood floored dining room a couple of weeks ago and comes running in to the carpeted master bedroom. Not satisfied with the carpet, however, she made a beeline toward the pile of dirty clothes on the floor (yeah, I’m single) and got into the middle of it and started to assume the position. I kicked away the part of the pile directly in front of her, and she turned to the right. I kicked that away, she turned to the next part. I kicked that away and she turned to the next.

    Over the course of a couple of seconds, before she finally had to give it up and let go with it, she’d did a complete 360 trying to make sure that she’d be puking on some of my clothes rather than just the carpet and every time I’d kick them away, she’d be like “Fuck! Can’t you see I’m trying to puke on that, you asshole?”

  17. 17
    kindness says:

    Gross. I do not let my dogs eat anything out of my cat. Doesn’t stop them but at least I slow them down most times.

  18. 18
    Schlemizel says:


    I have witnessed similar behavior with my puker. What is it about a cat that it HAS to get off the tile or wood floor & onto the carpet or furniture to puke>

  19. 19
    JCJ says:


    Not just that – my cat has stood on the tile floor and puked on to the carpet adjacent to it several times. I applaud his consistency.

  20. 20
    catclub says:

    Just today had a cat puke on the corner of the dining table.
    Which cleaned up well. and I think if she puked to floor it would have spattered much more. So not totally evil… that time.

    Of course the cat jumps on the dining table.

  21. 21
    Roger Moore says:

    I’m pretty sure that @Rosalita: has it right; cats want something they can get their claws into while they’re barfing. My cat has actually managed to barf onto the tile while standing at the very edge of the carpet, which I found very considerate.

  22. 22
    Schlemizel says:

    @Roger Moore:

    gad I wish I could train mine to do that!

  23. 23
    tesslibrarian says:

    Dog friend was exhausting.

    And my cats are much more social than stereotype, but I think most are. Dunc is long and thin, with a jaunty run to the door when we come home; his littermate Mal is a rounder boy, and has what we call “the happy bustle” to greet us (or his dinner bowl).

  24. 24
    muddy says:

    @NCSteve: I would prefer the cat puke on the dirty clothes, as I could toss the whole mess into the washer. Cleaning the carpet sucks.

    What’s the worst to me is that mine can’t use just *any* old carpet. No, find a Persian rug and yak up on that, sometimes it’s hard to see due to the patterns, and then you can step in it with bare feet and get it between your toes.

  25. 25
    RossinDetroit, Rational Subjectivist says:

    That’s so accurate, and so WRONG.
    I’m killin’ time in an airport bar on my way home

    Annnddd here comes food…..

  26. 26
    aimai says:

    I haven’t had a cat in…30 years. That image of the cat friend barfing just took me right back! My parents gave me a duvet from Sweden, a really huge deal back in the day when this was an exotic import–the fuckin’ cover was new and from Marimekko for g-d’s sake. And our lovely cat Herpes (don’t ask, that was really his name. A wonderful siamese) threw up all over it late at night while I was sleeping.


  27. 27
    rikyrah says:

    that was hilarious.

  28. 28
    Wag says:

    My wife can totally relate to the cat standing on your chest while you’re asleep. Happens at least once per week.

    the cat leaves me alone at night unless Beth is out of twon, in which case he’ll do the same to me.

  29. 29
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @Wag: It happens to me every night! My big kitteh boy loves to sleeps draped across one shoulder and chest. Furry scarf, I has it!

  30. 30
    Mjaum says:

    For a website with a link to “The Way of Cats”, this seems needlessly stereotyping.

  31. 31
    wesindc says:

    My favourite is the spilled milk part. Dogs are always ashamed and humiliated when bad. Cats, just don’t give a damn. Speaking of why hasn’t the Honey Badger guy done a voice over of cat behaviour? I think that would be hilarious.

  32. 32
    slag says:

    Both of my cats used to puke frequently (at least once a week in all the upholstered places) until I did two things: Started washing their bowls out before every single meal and started including slippery elm into every single meal. Now, one of them pukes maybe once a month. Sometimes, they’ll act like they’re going to puke and then get over it pretty quick. Personally, I think the slippery elm is where it’s at.

  33. 33
    anibundel says:

    Watching that at work was dangerous. I nearly laughed so hard people heard me.

  34. 34
    guachi says:

    While watching this, my cat jumped on the desk and stood right in front of me because otherwise I’d never know she existed.

  35. 35
    Felonius Monk says:

    @dr. bloor:

    Go screw yourself.

    Does this mean “cat fight, cat fight”?

    /cat friend 2

  36. 36
    Tone in DC says:


    That is just WRONG.

    I wouldn’t leave my suede jacket on the floor, but, if for some reason I did that, and a cat went to puke on it on purpose, I’d have to make a prompt drop off at the animal shelter.

  37. 37
    NCSteve says:

    @muddy: Well, that raises the existential question of whether and when clothes on the pile on a carpeted floor are really “dirty” as opposed to merely “worn since last washing” (damn, I sound about 25 years younger than I really am just by saying that).

    Once a cat yaks on ’em, however, the “existential” goes right the hell out the window along with the question.

  38. 38
    Comrade Mary says:

    Oh, cat puke stories!

    One of my cats suddenly developed a sensitivity to some canned food (beef) that I used to treat all three cats with once a day.

    The first time she puked on the queen size duvet, not only was it disgusting and bright pink, it was expensive, because I thought my current washer couldn’t handle the duvet. I had to immediately take the bus to the only open laundromat and wash and dry the thing in the oversized machine.

    But I didn’t know it was the beef until I fed her the treat again the next day. Same gross results.

    What I learned that day:

    1) Cats like bold colour contrasts. Forget the grey carpet: pink looks best against forest green.
    2) With enough determination, you can make a queen size duvet fit into a standard sized front-loader. Sure, you’ll bend the door and large loads will always leak from then on, but by God, that duvet will fit.

  39. 39
    slag says:

    @Tone in DC: Glad to see you have your priorities straight. Would hate to see a sick cat take precedence over a dead cow.

  40. 40
    hitchhiker says:

    I’m adopting a dog this weekend! Story:

    My spouse believed himself to be a cat person. We always had cats. When one of them was killed by a car, we were so flattened it was nearly unbearable. And she was irreplaceable.

    We decided to get a dog, who promptly adopted my spouse as his very own master. Surprise, my spouse was BOTH a dog and a cat person! I fell deeply in love with the dog.

    We said goodbye to that dog about 4 years ago, with appropriate sobbing and grieving. Two years ago one of our grown daughters showed up with 5 rescued kittens, born in a parking lot at her apt bldg and very nearly feral. We kept two of them, and they’re — of course — HIS cats. They do allow me to clean their litter box, so I guess I should be grateful.

    But I still miss having a dog, so I went and found a rescue one, and HE’S COMING HOME ON SUNDAY AT 2 PM. His name is Utah. I’m so happy!

  41. 41
    Lyrebird says:

    @NCSteve: Can I quote you on this?

    And feel free to decline to clarify, but I’m wondering, are you the same NCSteve who used to say, like, sane things on TPM when I used to read there more often, I wonder?

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