Chorizo, the Silent Killer

Sorry for the lack of posts, but dad went to the hospital again with chest pains and elevated blood pressure at 4 am. He’s been in observation all day and is now being released after having no troponin show up in three consecutive tests. As it turns out, this time, it was the home made Chorizo sausage he made last night that came back with a vengeance in the middle of the night. I’m just happy that he learned his lesson from the actual heart attack in January, and this time when he had chest pain they just went immediately to the hospital.

Also, Go Steelers!

126 replies
  1. 1
    NotMax says:

    Kindest thoughts.

    Chorizo, the Silent Killer

    Sure sounds like a salable title for a SYFY original movie.

  2. 2
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    My first thought was that I’m happy to hear that your Dad is doing fine and that it was only a recipe/eating mishap.

    I deleted my second thought because I’m a nice guy. :D

  3. 3
    Jerzy Russian says:

    Glad to hear that your Dad and you are OK. I was thinking about sending the St. Bernards out after you.

  4. 4
    JCT says:

    Better embarrassed than dead as we say in cardiologist-speak.

  5. 5
    Svensker says:

    Jeez, Cole. No more excitement from the Parental Units, please. Glad everything came down to sausage, though.

    Best thoughts to you all!

  6. 6
    Neutron Flux says:

    Chiefs fan here, but this will be ugly.

  7. 7
    YellowJournalism says:

    Your poor Dd! At least everything is okay. As someone who went to the hospital for what turned out to be acid reflux and a panic attack, I know that as a patient you feel embarrassed once you find out it’s not that bad. But better safe than sorry! Best wishes!

  8. 8
    Corner Stone says:

    Just can’t handle the sausage, eh?

  9. 9
    Comrade Jake says:

    Glad he’s OK, John.

  10. 10
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @JCT: Ditto that, I had chest pains last Thursday and went to the Urgent Care, 5 hours of tests and EKGs, turned out negative. Going to the cardiologists for tests in a couple weeks. I had some relatives drop dead from heart attacks that happened quickly, so I don’t play with this stuff.

  11. 11
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    Good for him/you. Better safe than sorry and etc. And having said that, I couldn’t help thinking of this old favorite.

  12. 12
    Baud says:

    Glad to hear your dad will be home in time for the game.

  13. 13
    Richard says:

    Chorizo, the Silent Killer, soon to be on a double bill with Matango, the Fungus of Terror.

  14. 14
    Schlemizel says:

    I’m not sure that stuff is always silent!

  15. 15
    Calming Influence says:

    My Dad was almost taken down with andouille.

  16. 16
    ruemara says:

    argh, this sounds like the past 2 Fridays for me. 4 visits to ER, last one due to having a nice cuppa green and ginseng like I had for years, except this time my bp meds fail. I know just how damned scary it can be. Tell your dad that CHORIZO IS OFF THE MENU! Except for homemade and salt free. Possibly even meat free. Sorry.

  17. 17
    goblue72 says:

    Having had an acid reflux attack before, the pain can be insane, leaving you wondering if you are having a heart attack, exploding appendix, or something else. Gastric juices are not joke – only thing more acidic is battery acid. Its amazing that our own stomaches don’t eat themselves.

  18. 18
    Schlemizel says:


    I went looking for a turkey alternative from my own Thanksgiving & noticed a company called “Field Roast”. Their turkey roll is highly rated and I noticed they have several sausages including Chorizo. Now ground meat is not a problem for me so its not a great deal but I am interested, anybody here tried these things & are they any good?

  19. 19
    Mary G says:

    Happy to hear it was a false alarm. Healthcare, who knew?

  20. 20
    Warren Terra says:

    Since it’s home-made, I guess he just needs to add some chalk or a proton-pump-inhibitor to the recipe next time.

  21. 21
    Maude says:

    What a scare.
    Glad the dad is okay.

  22. 22
    donnah says:

    I’m glad your dad is okay, John. Better safe than sorry. I experienced some terrible chest pains a few years ago with numbness in my left hand and shortness of breath. My husband took me to the hospital and it was determined that I was having a gall bladder attack.

    I was kind of embarrassed, but in the end, I was glad I had it checked out. A few months later, I had the offending gall bladder removed to prevent further attacks.

    Here’s to a quick recovery from the scare AND the sausage.

  23. 23
    Comrade Jake says:

    Also, 11th dimensional chess:

  24. 24
    AliceBlue says:

    Been wondering where you were, John. Glad to hear everything turned out ok.

  25. 25
    Mudge says:

    Never apologize for caring more about your family than us.

  26. 26
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Just can’t handle the sausage, eh?

    That’s what she said!

  27. 27

    I remember Troy McClure from such films as Firecrackers: The Silent Killer, Preacher with a Shovel and Suddenly Last Supper.

    Sorry, those last 2 were prolly offsides. Hope Big Daddy Cole is recovering well.

    Also, too, I miss Phil Hartman.

  28. 28
    cathyx says:

    I finally got an iphone and got the phone set up to use. I set all the sounds for the different functions to the way I figured I would like them to sound. Then later that evening, I kept hearing my cat make an odd sound, and I thought he was coughing up a hairball, but it turned out I was missing out on some text messages. So I had to changed the text tone to something that didn’t sound like my cat coughing up a hairball.

  29. 29
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Comrade Jake:

    For example, Dr. Fiske’s research has shown that when deciding on a candidate, people generally focus on two elements: competence and warmth. “A candidate wants to make sure to score high on both dimensions,” Dr. Fiske said in an interview. “You can’t just run on the idea that everyone wants to have a beer with you; some people care a whole lot about competence.”

    Well, Mitt was 0-for-2 there.

  30. 30
    trollhattan says:

    Goes down as one of the bestest thread titles ever. Glad everything is okiedokie, and dad hasn’t surrendered any further body parts.

    Interesting fellow.

    First time I looked at a chorizo label in the supermarket I got to “pork snouts and thymuses” and you could hear my brain’s “full stop” tire squealing all the way to produce. I continue to maneuver around the stuff very gingerly.

  31. 31
    Ben Franklin says:

    Betcha’ the docs are taking away all the fat, salt and sugar from his diet. It seems cruel to deny them the last vestige of life’s joy, when it doesn’t make any difference.

    Let him have his chorizo.

  32. 32
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    Also, glad to hear your dad is okay, Cole. Chorizo does that to me too.

  33. 33
    Roger Moore says:


    Its amazing that our own stomaches don’t eat themselves.

    They do sometimes; it’s called a peptic ulcer. And BTW, the acid is not the big worry with your stomach juices; acid, even fairly strong stuff, simply isn’t that damaging to your tissues. It’s the digestive enzymes that do the real damage.

  34. 34
    cathyx says:

    I’m sorry that John wasn’t doing what I figured he was doing instead. I figured he was with ‘the ladyfriend’.

  35. 35
    Roger Moore says:


    I went looking for a turkey alternative from my own Thanksgiving

    Might I suggest a side dish only Thanksgiving? My sister throws a great vegetarian thanksgiving, and they just have extra side dishes instead of a turkey substitute. It’s great. Instead of filling up on turkey, you have space for ten or twelve different side dishes and four or five kinds of dessert. It’s like tapas.

  36. 36
    gogol's wife says:

    I’m glad your father is okay. I hope his thumb wound is healing all right.

  37. 37
    gogol's wife says:

    @Roger Moore:

    That sounds really good.

  38. 38
    Raven says:

    Just came from Cloud Atlas, sort of like Amistatjeremiahjohsonbladerunner.

  39. 39
    Comrade Mary says:

    @trollhattan: Hotdogs. English bangers. You’d weep if you could do as well as snouts and thymuses when you eat those.

    Good to hear that your Dad’s OK, John. Good on him for taking symptoms seriously, too.

  40. 40
    Thoughtcrime says:

    Chorizo, the Silent Killer

    That’s one of my favorite Neil Young/Crazy Horse songs.

  41. 41
    Yutsano says:

    @Comrade Mary:

    snouts and thymuses


  42. 42
    Roger Moore says:


    So I had to changed the text tone to something that didn’t sound like my cat coughing up a hairball.

    Might I suggest bird calls? I’ve assigned different birds to different functions and different people, so I can tell what’s happening by recognizing the species. You can even make subtle comments about people based on which bird you assign them.

  43. 43
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    I have two or three of those heart attacks a week.

  44. 44
    Joseph Nobles says:

    @Raven: But spiritual.

  45. 45
    Thoughtcrime says:


    I have the DVD of that!

    Also this:

  46. 46
    Maude says:

    @Roger Moore:
    I have a Bob White on my laptop for open applications.
    I’ve used this sound for years on computers. I had the old laptop to a shop to get more memory and saw they guy with his ear to the little on board speakers. He was listening to the birdies.

  47. 47
    Maude says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:
    Is the cause eight years old?

  48. 48
    cathyx says:

    @Roger Moore: I’m not a birder, but I could see using songs. But it was really for text, email, and phone call, alerts.

  49. 49
    gbear says:

    Glad to hear your dad was OK. I’ll confess I’ve done the same thing. I do have two suggestions for your dad:

    1. Have his doctor prescribe Omerprazole 40mg. Works well and a prescription is double the dose and a fraction the cost of the OTC stuff.

    2. 1/2 teaspoon of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda in half a glass of water. The instructions are on the side of the box. Tastes like crap but cuts heartburn like nobody’s business.

  50. 50
    Corner Stone says:


    I’m sorry that John wasn’t doing what I figured he was doing instead. I figured he was with ‘the ladyfriend’.

    So either way you figured there was sausage involved? Either Dad Cole with Chorizo or John Cole with him pawing at some poor woman with his sausage like fingers.

  51. 51
    jeffreyw says:

    Chorizo recipe! Please!

  52. 52
    cathyx says:

    @Corner Stone: I thought you were going to say; either dad cole with chorizo or john cole with chorizo. Good for you for being clean.

  53. 53
    JWL says:

    Give your father a big “thumbs up” from me.

  54. 54
    burnspbesq says:

    Doesn’t your old man know that chorizo is for breakfast? As in chorizo and scrambled egg burritos?

  55. 55
    Schlemizel says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    Heaven forfend anyone ask – some people get very upset that people cared enough to ask earlier.

    In order to divert their attention I’d like to link to a video that had me laughing so hard I had tears!

  56. 56
    WaterGirl says:

    @Corner Stone: I have to say that I’m pretty sure that when Cole is intimate with a woman, he’s not pawing at her. There’s a lot more to Cole than that. Geez.

  57. 57
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @jeffreyw: Win.

    Modified version: I’ll have what he’s having!

  58. 58
    Felonius Monk says:

    Happy to hear that the Dad unit is okay.

    Chorizo, huh?

    My old man went down when mom hit him up side of the head with the kielbasa. She just did not know, what every man knows: Sausage hurts!

  59. 59
    JPL says:

    @Schlemizel: Seconded…

  60. 60
    Kristine says:

    Hard to differentiate between indigestion and heart attack sometimes. Better to play it safe.

    Glad Dad is okay.

  61. 61
    Raven says:

    @Joseph Nobles: Yea, I wish it had subtitles. I could barely hear Hanks and Berry on the island and other parts were equally unintelligible for me.

  62. 62
    Maude says:

    Sorry, I thought it was Corner Stone.

  63. 63
    Schlemizel says:

    @Roger Moore:

    But we are not vegetarian so there will be turkey, I just am not able to eat it. I get to smell it and see it (Hell, I probably get to roast it) I just don’t get to eat it. So I found a couple of alternatives (one is fake turkey the other is chestnut and cranberry en coute) that I plan on having.

    Thanks for the suggestion, maybe I’ll toss out a couple extra sides this year but there will be fowl.

  64. 64
    LT says:

    Two Aussie meat pies for dinner last night – big mistake.

    Chorizo he made? Wow. Impressive.

    Glad to hear it turned out all right.

  65. 65
    JPL says:

    John, Glad Papa is doing okay. It’s been awhile since we have had a video of his pups tearing apart his house so we need him healthy and at home.

  66. 66
    Warren Terra says:


    Chorizo recipe! Please!

    Sure you wouldn’t prefer a recipe with less baggage?

  67. 67
    Raven says:

    @LT: God, I once ate a couple of meat patties in Negril while drinking overproof and sparkin splifs. I have never been sicker in my life.

  68. 68
    WaterGirl says:

    @Schlemizel: The only thing I thought was funny in the video was the guy carrying the romney cutout. I can’t laugh at the pain these people are experiencing, they are devastated I’m pretty sure that if Obama had lost, I would still be rocking in the corner. But man am I glad we won!

  69. 69
    TooManyJens says:

    @Schlemizel: I’ve had some soyrizo that I really liked in chili. I think the brand was Frieda’s.

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Warren Terra: I think it was perfect.

    Man 1: My father was in the hospital, turned out to just a chorizo that was so hot that it felt like having a heart attack.

    Normal person: Oh my. Well, good that he checked, etc etc.

    Foodie: Man, I need that chorizo recipe!

  72. 72
    jeffreyw says:

    @Warren Terra:

    Sure you wouldn’t prefer a recipe with less baggage?

    No, I’m fine with that.

  73. 73
    JPL says:

    @jeffreyw: Baked cheese with chorizo is awesome with chips or tortillas..

  74. 74
    SiubhanDuinne says:



    Haven’t seen it yet, but this seems to be in keeping with some of the reviews.

  75. 75
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Ben Franklin:

    Let him have his chorizo.

    Only for breakfast, though, so if it backfires he’ll be able to visit the ER during business hours.

  76. 76
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    John, I’m glad your dad is okay.

    Now. Any chance of a Tunch picture?

  77. 77
  78. 78
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    So who is the first coach canned? Romeo Crennel? Andy Reid? Norv Turner?

  79. 79
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Give your father a big “thumbs up” from me.

    That’s so wrong. Funny, but wrong.

  80. 80
    Schlemizel says:

    OK – so I made chorizo from scratch once but I didn’t think it was as good as what I could buy. I can get that recipe if you guys really want it. Anybody interested?

  81. 81
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @jeffreyw: Yum. Hey you can’t just post things like that and not tell us what it is. What’s that next to it, chicken? Looks just like chicken. But not positive.

  82. 82
    JPL says:

    John’s time line is a little off. John’s dad went to the hospital at 4 this morning but John has been missing the last few days. This is an interesting case of where has John been?

  83. 83
    Corner Stone says:


    I have to say that I’m pretty sure that when Cole is intimate with a woman, he’s not pawing at her. There’s a lot more to Cole than that. Geez.

    You sound fairly confident Paula. Something you’d like to tell the committee?

  84. 84
    Corner Stone says:


    Is the cause eight years old?

    No, I got rid of the ex in 2007.

  85. 85
    MikeJ says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    Going to the cardiologists for tests in a couple weeks. I had some relatives drop dead from heart attacks that happened quickly, so I don’t play with this stuff.

    Alex Chilton died because even though he’d had chest pains, he thought it was nothing, and hey, musicians don’t have health insurance so he couldn’t afford a massive ER bill.

    Which makes me feel bad about all those smokes he bummed off me at shows.

  86. 86
    El Cid says:

    @JPL: He has been John Galt!

  87. 87
    Raven says:

    @Corner Stone: Boy, set that one up on a tee.

  88. 88
    catclub says:

    @cathyx: My favorite ringtone is crickets chirping.

    Also, isn’t chorizo sausage redundant, like PIN number?

  89. 89
    Corner Stone says:

    @Maude: I keep trying to woo JSF to take me to the mountaintop but that selfish prick still only has eyes for Cole.

  90. 90
    Valdivia says:

    So glad to hear he is ok.

  91. 91
    JPL says:

    @El Cid: To be fair maybe he was resting up in case he had to spend the day in the Hospital with his family.

  92. 92
    Mnemosyne says:

    Same thing happened to my friend’s husband — feared heart attack turned out to be a nasty acid reflux attack. But it was definitely better safe than sorry in that case, because his father did die fairly young of heart trouble, so they were better off getting it looked at.

    Also, too, for those who don’t know, digestive troubles can be an early symptom of heart problems, particularly in women. I’m still pissed at my mom’s previous cardiologist, who ignored all of her reports of tummy troubles and told her she was lactose intolerant when in fact she was in early heart failure. (She’s fine now, but I’m still pissed off.)

  93. 93
    Raven says:

    First lead of the year for KC!

  94. 94
    WaterGirl says:

    @Corner Stone: I am missing your “paula” reference. Is this clinton related?

  95. 95
    Corner Stone says:


    I thought you were going to say; either dad cole with chorizo or john cole with chorizo. Good for you for being clean.

    There is absolutely nothing clean about mentioning those horribly mangled cotton stuffed zucchini nightmares.
    Puppets have more realistic fingers.

  96. 96
    Schlemizel says:

    I found the recipe & it isn’t even Thursday night!

    10 dried guajillo chili peppers -stemed & seeded
    7 dried arbol chili peppers -stemed & seeded
    4 dried New Mexico chili peppers -stemed & seeded
    2 med onions, peeled and chopped fine
    5 cloves garlic, coarsely chopped
    1 1/2 cups cider vinegar
    2 Tbl ground cumin
    2 Tbl Mexican oregano
    2 tsp smoked hot paprika
    2 Tbl kosher salt
    3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
    1/4 tsp ground clove
    1 Tbl freshly ground black pepper
    3 Lb ground pork

    Wipe down the dried peppers then open & deseed them. Toast the chili peppers in a hot pan about 1 minute on each side. Transfer them to a large stainless steel or glass bowl, layer the chopped onion and garlic on top. Heat the vinegar until very warm to the touch. Pour over the chili peppers, onions, and garlic and lay a plate on top to weigh them down. Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and let set at room temperature for an hour.

    Transfer all of the peppers, onions, garlic and vinegar to a blender and process until you have a smooth, thick paste. Blend in the spices, If necessary, add another splash of vinegar to help things move along. Let cool completely.

    When the chili paste is completely cool, add it to the ground pork and mix thoroughly, using your hands, until everything is a uniform color.

    You can use this as loose sausage or squeeze into casings if you have the tools & desire

  97. 97
    cathyx says:

    @Corner Stone: So are you saying that John’s hand looks like this?

  98. 98
    jeffreyw says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim: That’s just an enchilada wrapper sans adobo sauce or cheese. The enchiladas are filled with chorizo, black beans and cheddar.

  99. 99
    Lojasmo says:

    Please remind father cole to thank FDR for Medicare.

  100. 100
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @jeffreyw: Ah okay, thanks.

  101. 101
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Lojasmo: Make that thanks to LBJ.

  102. 102
    jeffreyw says:

    @Schlemizel: Thanks! I’ve been using various dried chili powders in mine, but the adobo you make in this recipe looks damn good.

  103. 103
    Schlemizel says:

    OH NO!
    LBJ can never be given credit for anything. All that stuff, civil rights act, voting rights act, hell even the space program he personally rammed through Congress for JFK came via immaculate conception. Don’t you know that LBJ was a bad man?

  104. 104
    gogol's wife says:


    I get them mixed up too.

  105. 105
    Schlemizel says:


    Let me know if you make this. I like it but its not what I think of when I eat chorizo. I guess it depends on what you want. This is good stuff & I never thought of using the paste as adobe I have a different recipe for that but I may try this – thanks for the idea.

  106. 106
    Raven says:

    @Schlemizel: Always and forever, fuck LBJ.

  107. 107
    kc says:

    God bless your dad. And your mom!

  108. 108
    Corner Stone says:

    @gogol’s wife: We’re both white guys and all but he’s fucking gay. Don’t put me in the same place as that sausage loving, mountaintop drug using, seducer of Armed Forces personnel.
    I mean, I like sausage and all. And football, with their tight pants and sweaty locker room interviews and all that manly shit.
    But don’t confuse me with that abomination!

  109. 109
    Corner Stone says:

    Either FYWP has decided to choke on my balls or there is an issue with a comment I just posted.

  110. 110
    Schlemizel says:


    Trust me I understand. Had he been willing to risk the Presidency he might have avoided the worse excesses of Viet Nam. But he chickened out when the ghouls at the Pentagon leaked the fake Gulf of Tonkin incident.

    I’m not saying he should not be selecting a pineapple in hell but there are a hell of a lot of things he deserves credit for that people want to bury.

    The train was put on the track in ’57 when Ike sent Marines to stop the free elections because Ho would have won. JFK got pushed just a bit further. Johnson is no saint & there is a wall (with the names of a cousin & a high school friend of mine on it) that will always highlight his failure of courage when the moment came.

  111. 111
    denali says:

    Glad to hear your Dad is okay. I am trying to avoid the chorizo issues.

  112. 112
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Paula Broadwell is the woman with whom David Petraeus was (ALLEGEDLY!) having an affair.

  113. 113
    Patricia Kayden says:

    When Balloon Juicers make an impromptu visit to your home, please no “home made Chorizo sausage”. Thanks in advance.

    And sorry to hear about your Father. Hope he gets better. My Dad was hospitalized briefly for heart problems a while back and I know how scary that can be.

  114. 114
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Schlemizel: I know he did a number of bad things, but he was a complex man, a human. He did a lot of good too.

  115. 115
    Felonius Monk says:


    Please remind father cole to thank FDR for Medicare.

    Let’s not. Maybe LBJ.

  116. 116
    Schlemizel says:


    My point exactly but a lot of people want to forget the good because of the horror he unleashed. Guys like Raven bore the brunt of that horror.

    Its like the discussion of Hoover the other day. The total picture is complex.

  117. 117
    Violet says:

    So glad your dad was okay! Gotta watch that spicy chorizo.

  118. 118
    Angela says:

    Really glad your Dad is fine, and that he went to the ER to get it the pain checked out.

  119. 119
    Corner Stone says:

    I’ve got some spicy chorizo if anyone wants to see what happens?

    No? {sigh}

  120. 120
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Schlemizel: Then you deal with the complexity. You cannot keep denying what happened, you cheat yourself and everyone else when you do that. After all even FDR did some evil things — American-Japanese internment, for example.

  121. 121
    Aaron says:

    one and a half thumbs up!

  122. 122
    Yutsano says:

    Sigh. And no one asks the most important question:

    Mexican or Spanish? These things MATTER people!!

  123. 123
    presquevu says:

    For Restless Sausage Syndrome, Po Chai (Chinese stomach energy pills) act like a miracle cure for me.

  124. 124
    Lojasmo says:


    Nothing wrong with offal (thymus) Dunno about the snout, though. Eh…why not?

  125. 125
    Lojasmo says:


    I curse myself for lack of interest in American history as a young person.

    I had actually typed “LBJ” but replaced it with FDR. Should have googled.

  126. 126
    Edo says:

    Re: chorizo recipe up-thread…you really should go 1/2 and 1/2 ground pork and ground beef. you really can taste the difference. The Complete Meat Cookbook, by Bruce Aidells and Dennis Kelly has an excellent recipe (skip the rice).

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