Wednesday Evening Open Thread: Scraps

(Jeff Danziger’s website)
For anybody still worried about hardcore rightwinger “reprisals” — or who just needs a little more schadenfreudelicious entertainment — do not miss Paul Constant’s “When Obama Won, the South Shook Itself Awake, Tried to Rise Again, and Embarrassed the Hell Out of Itself“. The voice of the amateur videographic (at 1:30) “It’s majority white people, that’s all I’m saying about that” is entirely awesome.

Some of the commentors in Bernard’s thread were discussing the proper epithet for House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, to go with Orange John Boehner and Mitch-the-Bitch O’Connell. “Grackle” was a strong early contender…

And speaking of ironic catchphrases reminds me: It’s probably time to update the Lexicon, and preserve some of the election-year gems that may not achieve the general cultural status of “I Like Ike” or “Ma, Ma, Where’s My Pa?” I’ll be putting up a dedicated post with some possibilities in the next day or two, but if there’s anything you think should be included — or, for that matter, that you’d like explained — leave me a comment, okay?

47 replies
  1. 1
  2. 2
    Michael G says:

    Like everyone else, my first thought this morning was “How is Meat Loaf taking this?!”

    I was actually quite surprised: quite well. I gotta hand it to Mr. Loaf; I expected much less.

    (Sorry if you have to be logged into facebook to read that, what can I do man)

  3. 3
    EL says:

    Only indirectly related, but I’d love to see “pantsless killing machine” in the lexicon. I forget which commenter coined that in regard to John protecting his companions on the legendary convention trip, but whoever did deserves immortalization.

  4. 4

    Appropos of Karl Rove’s cartoon philosophy, after his dazed and bemused concern over the FOX news concession to reality last night, I do wonder about that fellow. Will he in the future find himself the invitee to a session of deep sea fishing? Will he find himself in a serious conversation regarding fund-raising with two fellows who incidentally are from back east, and yet do have Las Vegas acquaintances in common? And will that conversation go well at all?

    I wonder. I wonder. My studied belief is that GOP reprisals will begin in house and we will only understand them when we notice certain people aren’t around so much, anymore. Who those disappeared few are will tell us how and where the conversation is going.

  5. 5
    Robin G. says:

    Mentioned this elsewhere, but, seriously, the best of the #RomneyDeathRally tweets are not to be missed. Social media proves its worth.

  6. 6
    moonbat says:

    I just want to ask to have a tag removed. That would be “Black Jimmy Carter” since it is, you know, totally inaccurate. Ha ha!

  7. 7
    Kilks says:

    Gay wizard shit should be immortalized. Really think that the pundits thinking he would be discredited was the funniest part of the election.

  8. 8
    Slugger says:

    Too bad that Numb3rs is no longer producing new shows. They could have Nate Silver appearing as the statician cousin of the Epps’. I think that he is the correct physical type to make it believable.

  9. 9
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    Speaking of right wing butthurt, LGM has a link to a post that is absolutely unreal.

  10. 10

    I stumbled upon some dumbfuck’s new book about how to “triumph over the whiners and their phony outrage” or something like that, and it struck me as an amazingly funny and unself-aware name for a book, since I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anybody whine as much as American conservatives over the last ten or 15 years. (Well, my five year old daughter is a pro at whining, but, well, she’s five years old; most conservatives are older than she is, at least chronologically.) They whine when they win. They whine when they lose. They whine when somebody says something mean about them. They whine when nobody says mean things about them, since it means that nobody’s listening to them.

    And they do phony outrage better than anybody. I seem to recall Michelle Malkin or somebody working herself and all her readers into a froth when somebody did an ad for some business wearing a scarf that looked like a Muslim woman’s headscarf.

    So, anyway, I was trying to think of other times that these clowns have let loose with whining and phony outrage. I recall that within the last few years, the Republicans in the House reneged on some deal they had made with the Democrats because Nancy Pelosi or somebody said some mean things about them and hurt their feelings, which was comedy gold. I’ve forgotten what that was, though, and I’ve had no luck tracking it down; I wonder if anybody here knows waht it was, orcan think of any other instances of conservative whining or phony outrage…

    What’s “gay wizard shit”? I must have missed that somehow.

  11. 11
    freelancer says:

    Pillow Ft. Sumpter

  12. 12
    redshirt says:

    “I’m running for President, for Pete’s sake!”
    “Corporations are people, my friend.”

  13. 13
    johnny aquitard says:

    @Robin G.:

    He falls on his knees. “Give me Ohio and my sons will serve you.” The earth shudders. Ravens circle the Cleveland skyline.

    A thousand souls at Fox News cry out in horror as the ritual goes dreadfully wrong

    I think those two are my faves.

  14. 14
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    And they do phony outrage better than anybody. I seem to recall Michelle Malkin or somebody working herself and all her readers into a froth when somebody did an ad for some business wearing a scarf that looked like a Muslim woman’s headscarf.

    Ah yes, Rachael Ray, that well known terrorist sympathizer.

  15. 15
    Cmm says:

    Binders full of women, of course.

  16. 16

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:
    Yes, that’s right, that’s who it was. Well, I can understand why Ms. Malkin was so upset. Whenever I see Rachel Ray, the first thing I think of is “radical, fundamentalist Muslim terrorist sympathyzer/appeaser”, so, yeah, I see why why that sent her over the edge.

    That just gets creepier and creepier each time I hear or read it.

  17. 17
    Robin G. says:

    @johnny aquitard: I love that Meatloaf was eaten by literal bats out of hell.

  18. 18

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    the Muslim scarf-wearing miscreant was the generally inoffensive Rachel Ray. I think the ad was for Dunkin’ Donuts,. which is peripherally a Carlyle Enterprises joint at some point. Unless I’ve totally lost the thread (I’m Rainman for that shit–I did not). I will never understand the twist that invests totemic power to granite counters or articles of clothing that these folks do. It’s like viewing tribes via Frazier’s Golden Bough.

  19. 19
    Felonius Monk says:

    I picked this line up from Dallasdoc over at the Orange Satan:

    Citizens United defeated by citizens, united.

    Seems apropos to this thread.

  20. 20
    Brian says:

    I’d like to see “totebaggers” added to the lexicon. I’ve been reading this blog daily for several years, and I still have no idea wtf it means or why it’s meant to be a snarky putdown.

  21. 21
    Mnemosyne says:

    I found this article unexpectedly fascinating, and it taught me some things about American Sign Language (ASL):

    Why Great Sign Language Interpreters Are So Animated

    (Short version: much of the nuance of ASL is carried by your body language and facial expression rather than the actual signs.)

  22. 22
    redshirt says:

    @Brian: “Totebaggers” refers to NPR listeners who think they are more informed than they really are. They get tote bags from NPR for their donations.

  23. 23
    Emdee says:

    Unskewed: Skewed towards Republicans to hide reality. See Fair and Balanced.

    Plus, of course, “47%”. Can’t remember a couple of others atm.

  24. 24
    cbear says:

    It may not qualify as a “catchphrase” but JGabriel’s classic Man on Dog, Dog on Car, Wants a Dog, Sunglasses on Dog, etc. HAS to be included on every post election list.

    I’m still laughing about it.

  25. 25
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.): Ah, yes, the United Pastry Jihad!

    I should probably cross-reference that under “Rachel Ray” and/or “Dunkin Donuts”…

  26. 26
    Steeplejack says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Be sure to get her name right: it’s Rachael Ray.

  27. 27
    Citizen Alan says:

    For what it’s worth, I’ve been informed that over 1000 people showed up at the candlelight vigil against racism held at Ole Miss earlier this evening.

  28. 28
    clearskies says:

    “Please proceed, Governor.”

  29. 29
    Comrade Mary says:

    @Mnemosyne: I read that amazing article the other day. Finding out how much facial expressions and postural changes communicate conditional statements, quantities and intensity just It’s not just emphasis and nuance: it’s crucial aspects of grammar and meaning.

  30. 30
    Porlock Junior says:

    Ole Miss, OMFG! Has no one else noticed? (Whereas I picked up on it after only about 24 hours, a few minutes ago)

    You know what Ole Miss was up to just 50 years ago, in 1962? No. So I’ll ask my favorite 60s trivia question.

    Where was the first big campus political riot of the 1960s? What was it about, who was the famous Outside Agitator, and was anyone killed?

    Ole Miss. Oxford, Mississipi. Start of term in 1962. James Meredith, a super-respectable Black guy was admitted to the university, and the evil Kennedy in charge of Justice insisted that he was not going to be blocked. Major General Edwin Walker USA (Ret.) who had been flying his American flag upside down for months in distress about how the Commies had taken over our republic, showed up to rally the opposition. When the night’s rioting was over, two people were dead in the streets; I believe they were both foreign journalists.

    Does any of this sound kinda familiar somehow?

    There IS a fucking difference, though, after a mere 50 years: not only did these 2012 style panty-raiders not kill anybody, the University apologized this time. The South is getting to be a bunch of wimps. Praise be.

  31. 31
    Kristine says:

    “Please proceed, Governor.”

  32. 32
    Z says:

    Proposed lexicon entry:

    “Unskewed/unskewing”, defined as anyone attempting to change scientific, mathematical, or other form of fact to achieve a result they find more palatable.

    Proper usage: “Well, the Niners may not be undefeated like the Falcons, but it turns out that when I unskewed the standings, we’re the number one seed in the NFC.”

  33. 33
    Pinacacci says:

    Bahahha….I used to bartend in the deep south and when the BAC hit a certain level the cries would arise: “The South’s gonna dew it ag’in!”

    I’d say, “What? Lose?” Shut ’em right up.

  34. 34
    Pinacacci says:

    whoops sorry. Commented on wrong thread/website. Still valid though!

  35. 35
    Thlayli says:

    For the Lexicon:


    “Keep fucking that chicken”

    “Nice Polite Republicans”

  36. 36
    Hurling Dervish says:

    “Literally malarkey”

  37. 37
    1badbaba3 says:

    Hows about BOOKMARK IT, LIBS! ! !

    Who knew that bitter wingnut tears could taste so sweet?

  38. 38
    1badbaba3 says:

    “Pious baloney” from Newty.

    Or the RomneyFail variant “Obamaloney”.

    With just the right amounts of desperation, mendacity, and, of course, FAIL. Massive, unending, self sustaining FAIL.

    It is to laugh.


  39. 39
    Ash Can says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.): I recall that being the one and only Eric Cantor, who insisted that he was going to vote in favor of some budgetary bill or another, until Nancy Pelosi said something snotty to him. Priceless.

  40. 40
    Cheryl from Maryland says:

    What, no one has proposed “Black Metrosexual Abe Lincoln” yet?

  41. 41
    David Fud says:

    @redshirt @Brian: Don’t forget the typical “he-said-she-said”, “we’re not sure who is right but we want to give everyone a fair chance to give their point of view” nature of their coverage in recent years. NPR has bowed before the altar of uncritical neutrality and is much the worse for it.

    Thus, the totebagger has many of the same delicate feelings about giving everyone their fair chance to comment, regardless of how truthful or accurate the commenter is. Specifically, politeness is more important than truth.

  42. 42
    David Fud says:

    I think if we did a review of the various trolls that had haunted this site but now seem to be gone, we would unearth a mother-load of trolling treasure to document for posterity in the lexicon. If nothing else, so that we can more fully enjoy the crushed hopes of the wingnuts for years to come.

  43. 43
    Savage Henry says:

    Nate Silver is too gay to accurately predict election results.

    “Right-wing social engineering”

  44. 44
    wonkie says:

    I don’t know if this ffits intothe catagory of electionn items, but I like referrig to Harrry Reid as the “Honey Badger.” And he is in “don’t care ” mode already.

  45. 45
    Emma says:

    @Kristine: Second!

  46. 46
    gocart mozart says:

    I seem to recall Michelle Malkin or somebody working herself and all her readers into a froth when somebody did an ad for some business wearing a scarf that looked like a Muslim woman’s headscarf.

    Ah yes, the Rachel Ray/Dunken Donuts Sharia head scarf of death. I remember that. Pretty sure it was Malkin. Good times.

  47. 47
    lgerard says:

    @Porlock Junior:

    Bob Dylan wrote a song about it:

    Oxford Town, Oxford Town
    Ev’rybody’s got their hats bowed down
    The sun don’t shine above the ground
    Ain’t a-goin’ down to Oxford Town.

    He went down to Oxford Town
    Guns and clubs followed him down
    All because his face was brown
    Better get away from Oxford Town.

    Oxford Town around the bend
    He comes to the door, he couln’t get in
    All because of the color of his skin
    What do you think about that, my frien’ ?

    Me and my gal, my gal’s son
    We got met with a tear gas bomb
    I don’t even know why we come
    Goin’ back where we come from.

    Oxford Town in the afternoon
    Ev’rybody singin’ a sorrowful tune
    Two men died ‘neath the Mississippi moon
    Somebody better investigate soon.

Comments are closed.