So You Say You Want a Revolution

Mmmm, patriotism:

We’ve seen an important (though far from decisive) battle in the slow-motion civil war the nation is undergoing: The blue states want to secede not from America but from Americanism. They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor of the European ideal, which has only been government by aristocracy: either an aristocracy of birth or, nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls — of post-religious, globalist intellectuals (a.k.a. PORGIs). As I’ve said before — many others have too — you can’t graduate class after class after class of left-indoctrinated ignoramuses without paying the price. Last night was a down payment.

But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before. We’ll do it again — if we face up to the fact that we need to replace our schools and colleges now; the grace period has lasted a generation, but it’s over. I know we can do it and I’m pretty sure we will do it. Americanism is too strong and brilliant and young to die.

The National Review openly calling for a civil war.

182 replies
  1. 1
    Baud says:

    But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before.

    In what alternate reality did the CSA win the civil war?

  2. 2
    PeakVT says:

    But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before.

    Self-awareness FAIL.

  3. 3
    chopper says:

    the only thing that would make these wingnut tears even tastier is if, after drinking them, i pushed them out of their rascal scooters and ran away.

  4. 4
    beltane says:

    @Baud: The same alternate reality that had Mitt Romney winning in a landslide.

  5. 5
    feebog says:

    Uh, the blue states want to secede? Rick Perry lives in a blue state?

  6. 6
    chopper says:

    But we’ve won civil wars

    who’s this ‘we’?

  7. 7
    RedKitten says:

    It’s fun to realize that they really DO think that the country should be run by Bible-thumpers, instead of by those horrible “intellectuals”.

    They just really do NOT trust book-learnin’, do they? Not unless it’s the “Good Book”, of course…

  8. 8
    beltane says:

    I love how the wingnuts don’t just unskew the polls, they unskew history as well.

  9. 9
    NotMax says:

    Shorter version: Punch a gay hippie for Christ.

  10. 10
    psycholinguist says:

    GodDammit where is my tiny fuckin violin right now.

  11. 11
    Pooh says:

    An aristocracy not by birth? Wtf kind of happy horseshit is this?

  12. 12
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    we need to replace our schools and colleges now; the grace period has lasted a generation, but it’s over. I know we can do it and I’m pretty sure we will do it.

    As long as the blue states pony up the tax money for us to do it.

  13. 13
    Dan says:

    PORGIs? That’s even cuter than RINO.

  14. 14
    Cassidy says:

    Maybe it is time to go buy that shotgun.

  15. 15
    Bootlegger says:

    If I’m PORGI, does that make conservatives BESS (Business, Evangelicals, Silliness and Slime)?

  16. 16
    Baud says:

    Americanism is too strong and brilliant and young to die.

    The actual Love Story quote he’s paraphrasing:

    What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles, and me?

    Seems oddly apt.

  17. 17
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    Oh, and is trollie-poo here today? I forgot to bookmark all the predictions it made and was hoping it would come here and repeat them.

  18. 18

    But it’s a slo-mo war, right? Like, we all die of old age before they make contact.

    I love the idea of Americanism as a quasi-religion. (To the waiter: Hold the arugula, please, we’re Americanists.)

    Baud: They literally believe they are on the Union side. Lincoln was a Republican, don’t you know, and slavery was a liberal institution (it encouraged dependency in the slaves, whereas Lincoln wanted them to go out and become independent contractors).

  19. 19
    geg6 says:

    But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before

    WTF? I hate to break to these asswipes that they fucking LOST the fucking Civil War. News bulletin to the Confederacy: DON’T MAKE ME GO ALL W.T. SHERMAN ON YOUR ASSES!

    Fuck, this pisses me off no end.

  20. 20
    Bulworth says:

    if we face up to the fact that we need to replace our schools and colleges now

    This sounds like a most grand and glorious project. There must be thousands of these, what do you call them, schools? Thousands of them spread all over the country, in different states, different local districts, which conservatives claim to want to empower. Not sure how something so majestic as “replacing” the schools and colleges would work in real life, but I’ve no doubt some of the illustrious researchers at the various Koch-funded institutes could draft some papers and hold some seminars and some such things in the next few years to talk about it. The rest of us can go about the actual work of work.

  21. 21
    Tone In DC says:

    These people are delusional. This is known by all BJers. The thing is, every so often some professional wingnut feels the need to show the world just how deluded he/she actually is. Like deluded to the nth degree (Carl Sagan’s voice here, with the word BILLIONS repeating with much reverb).

    “We’ve won civil wars before…” Put the junk down. Step away from it.

  22. 22
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @Pooh:

    An aristocracy not by birth?

    Yeah, an aristocracy of fricking merit, whatever that is. “Ruling know-it-alls” sounds a lot like Thomas Jefferson to me.

  23. 23
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Fine.

    I look forward to slaughtering the “God-fearing” without the slightest regret.

    These vile shits long for feudalism. Their thinking is beyond muddled. Fuck them. Jefferson, Franklin, and Madison would enthusiastically join me.

  24. 24
    Hawes says:

    Well, that seems reasonable….

    I mean who HASN’T called for Rahowa after losing an election?

  25. 25
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    As has been repeated ad nauseum, when Fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.

    In their ideal world, only white Christian (Protestant!) males get to vote and run for office. Everyone else can deal and be happy about it.

  26. 26
    MattMinus says:

    Nothing expresses a desire for secession more than winning elections.

  27. 27
    handy says:

    Wait I thought in Civil War I the “states rights” party was on the side of the CSA, not the Union. Gelertner’s bible translationhistory book must be different from mine.

  28. 28
    NCSteve says:

    @Baud: Why the same one where Romney had 400+ electoral votes locked up, carbon dioxide is transparent to infrared, man walked with the dinosaurs, and the Founders were fundamentalist theocrats, of course.

  29. 29
    matt says:

    They’re just mad because they all publicly stated the election would be a Romney landslide.

  30. 30

    Ah, so it’s as I expected. Conservatives will continue to be a movement of counter-factual, anti-science, it’s-the-skewed-polls, recalcitrant babies.

  31. 31
    Tone In DC says:

    @geg6: @geg6:

    LULz.

  32. 32
    Citizen_X says:

    if we face up to the fact that we need to replace our schools and colleges now; the grace period has lasted a generation, but it’s over

    Who the fuck is “we,” asshole? Take your grace period and go piss up a rope.

    an aristocracy…nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls — of post-religious, globalist intellectuals

    So, down with meritocracy, eh? Nevermind that, if you went back to the late 18th century to look for “post-religious, globalist intellectuals,” you probably couldn’t find a more fitting group than our largely Deist/Quaker/Unitarian founding fathers.

  33. 33
    blingee says:

    Sweet succulent Republican tears. NSFW (audio only)
    http://youtu.be/wLoqti0lzAw

  34. 34
    geg6 says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    geg6 is nodding vigorously in agreement. Fuck them. Fuck them all.

  35. 35
    Bulworth says:

    I can’t wait for the GOPteabag nominees, whether they be Jeb!, Rubio, or Ryan, to proclaim their limited government commitment to replacing “our” schools and colleges.

  36. 36
    Baud says:

    @matt:

    They’re just mad because they all publicly stated the election would be a Romney landslide.

    Ironically, the graduated, left-indoctrinated ignoramuses called it correctly.

  37. 37
    Chyron HR says:

    They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor of the European ideal, which has only been government by aristocracy

    Also, too, JEBMENTUM 2016.

  38. 38
    beltane says:

    @Southern Beale: Kudos to your psychic friend. He/she called the swing states very accurately, far more accurately than 90% of the punditry.

  39. 39
    Shinobi says:

    This is the text of an e-mail I received this morning from my father. Normally I wouldn’t read his e-mail the morning after an election, but he’s currently in China so I thought it might be about something related to actual family things.

    “The USA is doomed, we are too stupid to deserve out past freedoms and economic powers.   Spain, Greece, socialism here we come. Early retirement here I come.”

    Yes, I did say he’s currently in China.

  40. 40
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @blingee:

    Was just coming here to post this. SO AMAZING.

  41. 41
    SatanicPanic says:

    Aww, the whining of the impotent. poor widdle fellers

  42. 42
    Pooh says:

    We need to change out schools so that these know-it-alls can be rightfully replaced by know nothings!

  43. 43
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Yes, “replace” the schools and colleges, With Rand-n-Jesus Franchise Educational Substitutes, sponsored by WalMart, no doubt.

    I think it’s close to a cardinal rule of politics; whenever someone complains about ‘indoctrination’ they’re just mad that they’re not the ones doing the indoctrinating.

  44. 44
    JGabriel says:

    __
    __
    David Gelernter:

    We’ve seen an important (though far from decisive) battle in the slow-motion civil war the nation is undergoing: The blue states want to secede not from America but from Americanism. … But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before. We’ll do it again …

    I think someone needs to remind Gelernter that the blue states won the last Civil War too.

    .

  45. 45
    Lurking Canadian says:

    Ah yes, nothing could better represent the heritage of the Sainted Founders of the United States than a bunch of theocratic Know-Nothings who reject the Enlightenment and do not believe the populace should be exposed to new ideas or enjoy the right to govern its own affairs.

    I’m sure I’ve read something by Ben Franklin to that effect.

  46. 46
    300baud says:

    I am fascinated that someone is openly taking a stand against meritocracy, which is previously what government by democratically elected, broad-minded smart people was considered.

    Happily, this is the 101st Chairborne we’re talking about here, so I doubt it will come to Confederacy 2: Defective Boogaloo. They’re used to paying brown people to go to war for them, but that won’t work as well if the war is against brown Americans.

  47. 47
    maurinsky says:

    Umm, the Confederacy was where aristocrats ruled! Dude doesn’t know his history at all!

  48. 48
    A Ghost To Most says:

    Methinks Americanism is a contraction.

  49. 49
    Violet says:

    Keep on searching for the mythical One True Conservative to run for all your open elections, wingnuts. I’m sure he’s out there. Keep trying!

  50. 50
    SatanicPanic says:

    @geg6: Lincoln was a Republican. SO THERE LIBTARD!

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Robin G. says:

    I’m watching the replay of last night’s Charlie Rose. Listening to David Brooks and Tom Friedman simultaneously makes me want to slit my wrists.

    Edited to add: Brooks is currently saying that what’s wrong with this country is that 90 year olds are getting hip replacements instead of dying like good Americans. I’m not kidding. What a ghoul.

  53. 53
    jeffreyw says:

    “Ma! Fetch me my votin’ iron, there are rascals nosing about in the chicken coop!”

  54. 54
    Arm The Homeless says:

    @Bubblegum Tate: @blingee:

    OMG, That’s fucking hilarious! She sounds a whole lot like a female Alex Jones.

    “Gary Johnson-voting Douchebags … show up unannounced … I will be happy to find you in my bedroom at night…”

    That’s just the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

  55. 55
    Hungry Joe says:

    This is ass-hattery of the highest level. Hilarious. If you in any way take any of it seriously on any level, well, step back and don’t.

    As for “PORGIs” … I don’t think so. Not going to catch on. Kind of like “The Executive” beltless raincoat that Kramer and Morty Seinfeld tried to market.

  56. 56

    @handy: Yeah, somewhat different. They think George III was a liberal too.

  57. 57
    fuddmain says:

    @blingee: Oh man! That is a metric assload of weapons-grade wingnut crazy.

  58. 58
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @maurinsky:

    Yes, I know. The stupid of this dumbshit, it burns.

    They don’t know history, they don’t know economics, they don’t know any of the physical sciences…all they know is that someone, somewhere, wants their fucking stuff, and they’re terrified they’ll lose it.

  59. 59
    Violet says:

    You know, with all those Civil War reenactments they do, they’re probably super-prepared for the real Civil War they seem to want so badly. So long as it’s fought with mid-nineteenth century weapons.

  60. 60
    NotMax says:

    Now that the spotlight on him has (thankfully) dimmed, guess ol’ Mitt can safely buy up some Chrysler stock.

  61. 61
    Culture of Truth says:

    We’ve seen an important (though far from decisive) battle in the slow-motion civil war the nation is undergoing: The blue states want to secede not from America but from Americanism. They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor…..

    Someone needs their binkie and time out.

  62. 62
    dmsilev says:

    @Violet: This probably explains the wailing when Obama made fun of bayonets and horses during the last debate.

  63. 63
    Arm The Homeless says:

    Cigarettes, chips, cheese dip, beer, and butter-schnaps.

    This lady is a walking, talking caricature.

  64. 64
    dedc79 says:

    If it’s a civil war they want, I think I know who will be their Beauregard

  65. 65
    JustRuss says:

    Considering most “state” colleges receive very little funding from their respective states these days, I guess we’re already halfway there.

  66. 66
    aimai says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:
    And sobbing, with snot filled tears running down its face, because it stubbed its toe.

    aimai

  67. 67
    Leaving Texas says:

    @blingee: Delicious!

  68. 68
    k488 says:

    @Bootlegger: I loves you PORGI… Don’t let them take me… Don’t let them handle me… and drive me mad!

  69. 69
    Rob in Buffalo says:

    PORGIs ??

  70. 70
    Eric U. says:

    Sherman burned everything to the ground, so we can’t do that because it would exacerbate global climate change. I think we should just take back all the medicare funded hoverrounds

  71. 71
    LD50 says:

    I realized something hilarious this morning: the Tea Party has now cost the GOP *five* Senate seats. That alone has been enough to keep the Senate blue.

    What does this mean? It means that we have the Tea Party to thank for the fact that the GOP lacks the numbers in Senate to impeach Obama. If the Tea Party had never existed, Obama might well face a genuine risk of impeachment. Because of them, he doesn’t.

    Jeeeeezus.

  72. 72

    @Bulworth:

    This sounds like a most grand and glorious project. There must be thousands of these, what do you call them, schools? Thousands of them spread all over the country, in different states, different local districts, which conservatives claim to want to empower. Not sure how something so majestic as “replacing” the schools and colleges would work in real life, but I’ve no doubt some of the illustrious researchers at the various Koch-funded institutes could draft some papers and hold some seminars and some such things in the next few years to talk about it. The rest of us can go about the actual work of work.

    Mostly it involves busting the teacher’s unions and having the state hand over money to private charter or religious schools that coincidentally teach that God personally handed Karl Rove the Republican party platform on two tablets of stone.

  73. 73
    LanceThruster says:

    Can Mitt and his spawn get deferments from the latest manufactured conflict by missionizing again (say in the Caymans instead of France this time)?

  74. 74
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @blingee:

    This woman, being a coward, disabled the comments on her rant.

    Typical “conservative” asswipe.

  75. 75
    David in NY says:

    Also, for those who think the Republicans will be chastised any time soon, there is this counterargument, William Todd Akin’s “concession” speech.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOW0SyXBuY8

  76. 76
    Violet says:

    @blingee: Oh, god, that is priceless.

  77. 77
    The Moar You Know says:

    They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor of the European ideal, which has only been government by aristocracy: either an aristocracy of birth or, nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls

    What’s Wrong With Kansas covered this pretty well, although I don’t think the author foresaw the extremes that the modern “conservative cons” (as he terms them) would go to. And yes, they are calling for civil war, but they’re going to have to fight it out within their own party first.

    Should be pretty easy to pick off the survivors afterwards.

  78. 78
    Rommie says:

    I’ll say it again: It took three years, but the North learned that Sherman Had The Right Idea to deal with the rebellion. We won’t wait three years to use it in the sequel, you SCV morans!

  79. 79
    Baud says:

    @LD50:

    Need a two-thirds vote in the Senate to threaten Obama. Otherwise, you are correct about costing the GOP five seats.

  80. 80
    EconWatcher says:

    The fever is not going to break until Fox News is dead and buried. That network daily creates the alternate reality they live in.

    I had some hope, when the phone-hacking scandal broke, that the Murdoch empire might come tumbling down. But that didn’t do it.

    I just wonder if at some point the build up of bile and lies will hit some kind of tipping point, as in the Soviet Union after Chernobyl.

  81. 81
    The Red Pen says:

    ME: I’ll take “Rich Fucknuts” for $800, Alex.

    ALEX: An aristocracy of birth or, nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls.

    ME: What are two groups that could include Mitt Romney?

    ALEX: That’s correct. Romney is not only a millionaire by birth, but also a graduate of Harvard Law School.

    ME:“Rich Fucknuts” for $1000.

    ALEX: Complete loser douchebags.

    ME: Who are Romney SuperPAC donors?

    ALEX: Correct! They are both rich fucknuts and complete loser douchebags.

  82. 82
    Tone In DC says:

    @300baud:

    Happily, this is the 101st Chairborne we’re talking about here, so I doubt it will come to Confederacy 2: Defective Boogaloo.

    Moar LULz.

  83. 83
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @LD50:

    He can still be impeached. The slime controls the House. The only adult among them is Boner, just barely, if he falls, Cantor takes over, and all bets are off. The thing is, there is ZERO chance of conviction with a Dem controlled Senate, which has the final say on removal of a President from office.

    So it would be, as they say, a useless, futile gesture on the part of the Rethugs to attempt it.

    They’re just the guys to do it, too.

  84. 84
    Baud says:

    But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before. We’ll do it again — if we face up to the fact that we need to replace our schools and colleges now

    He is correct in noting that the lack of education reform is ultimately what caused the confederate states to lose the war.

  85. 85
    Woodrowfan says:

    @blingee:

    WOW ! Someone is in need of the services of a good mental health professional!

  86. 86
    NR says:

    Don’t worry. Obama will win them over with compromise and bipartisanship.

  87. 87
    Seanly says:

    WTF is a PORGI? I got to see “Porgy & Bess” on Broadway once as a young lad…

    I hate, hate, hate equating religious people with a very narrow set of conservative “family values”. I know a religious Republican who is extremely tolerant and doesn’t buy into the family values BS. His entire Methodist church is like that. He & his agnostic, liberal wife raised 2 great kids.

    I know Catholics of various stripes who are pro-choice (they would choose to keep the baby themselves) and Democratic while also attending Mass on Wednesdays & Sundays. A lot of them think the social justice portion of Catholic faith in action is a big piece of the pie.

    I am an atheist but I respect the right of folks to believe whatever happy horsesh*t they like. The diversity the right hates doesn’t just exist in terms of skin color, our immigrant status or who we love, but is also reflected in the wide application of faith and morals within our society.

  88. 88
    Citizen_X says:

    @Bubblegum Tate: Oh God, that’s wonderful. Bitter screaming, swearing and ranting punctuated by ice tinkling in the glass. (Of “butterscotch schnapps.” Yecch.) Make that lady RNC Chair already!

    But I don’t know if I can make it the whole 24 minutes. Does it finish with, “See you in HELL, assholes!” BANG! Thump.

  89. 89
    Monkey Business says:

    Can I be a contra-religious globalist intellectual instead?

    I like CORGI much more than PORGI.

  90. 90
    dm says:

    Not that I think what he’s saying is defensible (or even really sane), but I think I’ll cut David Gelernter just a little bit of slack. He lost part of his right hand and an eye to one of the Unabomber’s bombs (sent to him for his work in Computer Science). I think you’re allowed to become a little crazy after an experience like that.

  91. 91
    LD50 says:

    @Baud: Whoops. Forgot that. Nevermind.

    But I guess the basic fact remains: the Tea Party’s main accomplishment stands as having saved the Democratic Senate for Obama.

  92. 92
    Violet says:

    @LD50:

    What does this mean? It means that we have the Tea Party to thank for the fact that the GOP lacks the numbers in Senate to impeach Obama. If the Tea Party had never existed, Obama might well face a genuine risk of impeachment. Because of them, he doesn’t.

    If the Tea Party had never existed, Dems might have kept the House and we’d have two more years of better legislation passed and the economy might also be further along.

  93. 93
    The Moar You Know says:

    Maybe it is time to go buy that shotgun

    @Cassidy: I have a searchable history here, as does everyone, and in that history you will find since day one I have been arguing that liberals need to arm themselves en masse load up on ammo and to actually learn how to use the damn things.

    Their rhetoric has been openly exterminationist since the 90s – twenty years. I assume that they mean it.

  94. 94
    Citizen_X says:

    @Bubblegum Tate: Oh God, that’s wonderful. Bitter screaming, swearing and ranting punctuated by ice tinkling in the glass. (Of “butterscotch schnapps.” Yecch.) Make that lady RNC Chair already!

    But I don’t know if I can make it the whole 24 minutes. Does it finish with, “‘See you in HELL, assholes!’ BANG! Thump“?

  95. 95
    Berial says:

    So he hates ‘Aristocracy’, yet if I’m not mistaken, the REPUBLICANS are the ones that haven’t won a presidential election without a Nixon or Bush on the ticket since 1933. Talk about your ‘royal’ families.

  96. 96
    gogol's wife says:

    @blingee:

    Oh my God I only listened to one minute but it’s hilarious. I’ll have to listen to it in a safe place some time.

  97. 97
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    North Dakota Democrat Heidi Heikamp has won a U.S. Senate seat, defeating Republican Rick Berg. Heitkamp won by 3000 votes, and her victory is pending a final count which will include absentee ballots which arrived late but are postmarked in time to be counted.

  98. 98
    MikeJ says:

    @Bulworth:

    Not sure how something so majestic as “replacing” the schools and colleges would work in real life,

    Pol Pot figured it out. Authoritarians are the same everywhere.

  99. 99
    PeakVT says:

    @LD50: The House impeaches, the Senate convicts. Impeachment requires a majority, conviction requires a 2/3 super-majority.

  100. 100
    EconWatcher says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    I’m very happy for the victory, but I assume she and Donnelly will be Blue Dogs extraordinaire. Am I wrong?

  101. 101
    Mike G says:

    aristocracy of birth or, nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls

    Yes, the party of GW Bush (son of a President), John McCain (son and grandson of Admirals) and Willard Romney (filthy-rich son of a Governor and serious Presidential candidate) has much to teach the rest of us about the evils of aristocracy of birth, and self-entitled assholes who want to rule.
    Meritocracy is kryptonite to this party of overprivileged twats.

  102. 102
    me says:

    @blingee: So nuts, comedy gold.

  103. 103

    National Review = National Sedition

    Seems fitting for a publication that supports the party of George Allen and Rick Perry.

  104. 104
    aimai says:

    @dm:
    No you aren’t. Lots of people have had worse happen to them and didn’t turn into right wing assholes.

    aimai

  105. 105
    rlrr says:

    Yes, the party of GW Bush (son of a President)

    and grandson of a Senator

  106. 106
    Mike in NC says:

    we need to replace our schools and colleges now

    Union-free Bible schools, no doubt?

  107. 107
    Brachiator says:

    They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor of the European ideal, which has only been government by aristocracy: either an aristocracy of birth or, nowadays, of ruling know-it-alls — of post-religious, globalist intellectuals (a.k.a. PORGIs).

    Shorter: rich aristocrats should rule.

    You say you want a revolution, well, you know.

    In a Civil War between the NRO crowd and real folks, the battle would be laughably short, and painful for the conservative fools.

    I can’t believe these fools. To evoke one of my favorite movies, Tombstone:

    Wyatt Earp: All right, Clanton… you called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it!

  108. 108
    The Moar You Know says:

    I am fascinated that someone is openly taking a stand against meritocracy

    @300baud: What do you think all the union-bashing has been all about for the last three years? Yeah, the 1% want it to pad the profit margin, but all the proles crawling over glass to vote for that shit are just pissed that the “union thugs” did better with their lives than they did, with their highest life achievement comprised of sitting in front of the tube in the double-wide without breaking the chair.

  109. 109
    Ash Can says:

    White Nationalism Review says what?

  110. 110
    Joshua Norton says:

    Eeeesh! Fascism 101, anyone?

  111. 111
    rlrr says:

    @Mike in NC:

    Union-free Bible schools, no doubt?

    Which I’m sure will turn out quality scientists and engineers…

  112. 112
    PreservedKillick says:

    @Bubblegum Tate:

    Wow, that’s quite some rant.

    Butterscotch Schnapps?

    Obama never witnessed a Fourth of July Parade?

    She does make some sense, though. Nice rants against birtherism and the muslim shite.

  113. 113
    scav says:

    fuck Gelernter and fuck the shoebox he wants everyone to live in..

  114. 114
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @Bulworth:

    Not sure how something so majestic as “replacing” the schools and colleges would work in real life…

    Gelernter is a computer scientist whose shtick is that schools from kindergarten through college are sapping and impurifying our precious bodily fluids with liberal indoctrination. His solution is to put all knowledge on line and thus free students to educate themselves in a liberalism-free atmosphere. IOW, home-schooling for all, bitchez!

  115. 115
    Robin G. says:

    @blingee: My God. That was beautiful.

  116. 116
    Joshua Norton says:

    But we’ve won civil wars and preserved the Union before.

    Who is the “we” they’re talking about here? The right wing exclusively populated the Royalists and Southern traitors that took their turns being enemies of this country.

    Today Lincoln would have been a Democrat.

  117. 117
    Culture of Truth says:

    “It’s like they take pride in being ignorant!”

    To me, still the defining quote of the last 5 years.

  118. 118
    ThresherK says:

    Sometimes I think the only reason they don’t secede is because they couldn’t take the name “Americans” with them.

    And I still say, this years’ votes regardless, popular referenda to decide another person’s human rights is bunkum.

  119. 119
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    As has been repeated ad nauseum, when Fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.

    When fascism comes to America? The KKK is generally considered by historians to be the world’s first fascist organization – we’ve been ahead of the curve the whole time.

  120. 120
    burnspbesq says:

    @blingee:

    “Comments are disabled for this video” pretty much says it all.

  121. 121
    MikeJ says:

    @Joshua Norton: Liberals won the civil war, or as I prefer, successfully put down the traitors. Lincoln was indeed a Republican, but he was first and foremost a liberal.

  122. 122
    rlrr says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    IOW, home-schooling for all, bitchez!

    Here’s a web site claiming to be a home schooling resource…

  123. 123
    Seanly - PORGI Elite says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    Sure, they technically could, but what would the articles of impeachment state?
    “He gaves us a sadz.”
    I know Ford said in 1970 that high crimes & misdemeanors can be whatever Congress thinks, but I don’t think the Republicans would be that entirely crazy.

  124. 124
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @EconWatcher:

    Don’t know Heitkamp’s place on the spectrum. It’s hard to believe that she’s going to cast any votes against Ag subsidies though.

  125. 125
    LeeRoy Jenkins says:

    When smart people attack indefensible policies, don’t change policy, attack smart people!

  126. 126
    Scott S. says:

    Late to the party, but the last time any of these assholes tried to “start the revolution,” a federal building in Oklahoma City got blown up, the rest of the nation got damn pissed, and the wingnuts fucking pissed their pants in terror at how close they came to getting vast numbers of the True Believers rounded up and thrown into prison.

  127. 127
    Culture of Truth says:

    I don’t know it all, but I know this much:

    We just beat your guy’s rich famous privileged ass with a young guy named Barack Hussein Obama.

  128. 128

    I’d like to see some commentary on Puerto Rico. Will the Republicans oppose it? If PR applies for statehood, how could you keep out DC?

    And how do the feds handle legal marijuana?

    What happens to the Tea Party within the Republicans? Will the corporatists behind the Republican Party rein them in? Can they? Is there hope for moderation there?

    Or will there an eventual bifurcation in the Democratic Party, with its right wing absorbing the rump of the Republican Party?

    This is what I’m wondering about during my second cup of coffee here in Portland.

  129. 129
    Gindy51 says:

    @Dan: Corgi + Pug = Porgi, damned cute little dogs!

  130. 130
    The Moar You Know says:

    They can leave, BUT THEY DON’T GET THE NUKES.

  131. 131
    catclub says:

    @300baud:”I am fascinated that someone is openly taking a stand against meritocracy,”

    Well, if meritocracy results in an extremely talented politician being elected president, while black, then clearly meritocracy is not what they were looking for.

  132. 132
    ottercliff says:

    The aristocrats calling for an end to “government by aristocracy”.

  133. 133
    Ivan Ivanovich Renko says:

    @blingee: Whoah. That’s some weapons grade crazy and stupid, right there.

    She sounds like a proto-McVeigh.

  134. 134
    Joshua Norton says:

    Lincoln was indeed a Republican

    Totally meaningless in reference to today’s Republican party. MY family was Republican back then as well. It was more of a matter of geography than ideology. Northerners were mostly Republican and Southerns were mostly Democratic. A lot has changed since then.

  135. 135
    300baud says:

    @blingee:

    Holy shit. Total ragegasm.

    The impressive part of it to me is her ability to blame absolutely anybody but herself or the beliefs she has. It’s her friends. Its the libertarians. It’s the sneaky British, talking up their socialized medicine at the Olympics. It’s YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter: tools of the left. It’s Sarah Palin, who failed to run.

    And it’s not just the lost election that you jerks are to blame for (by not sharing posts). It’s also their fault that she had potato chips for dinner.

    I feel sad for her. So much hate. So much anger based on things that aren’t even true. So little compassion. So much butterscotch schnapps.

  136. 136
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @blingee:
    I should feel bad that someone is so twisted with hate and anger, but that spittle-flecked rant is too damn funny for words.

    Yes, these are the people that Obama and the Democrats should be reaching across the aisle to include. CENTER-RIGHT NATION!

    EDIT: And the fact that we’re all watching and not “liking” or sharing on YouTube will drive her even more batshit crazy.

  137. 137
    Geoduck says:

    @geg6:

    WTF? I hate to break to these asswipes that they fucking LOST the fucking Civil War. News bulletin to the Confederacy: DON’T MAKE ME GO ALL W.T. SHERMAN ON YOUR ASSES!

    Hoorah! Hoorah! We bring the Jubilee!

  138. 138
    The Moar You Know says:

    The only adult among them is Boner, just barely, if he falls, Cantor takes over, and all bets are off.

    @Villago Delenda Est: The question is, is Cantor tired of being put in the corner yet? Or is he fine with the drunk taking all the hits for their shitheadedness?

    Orange Julius is lethally compromised. A few well-placed words about his raging alcoholism to the right propaganda distribution outlets and he is done.

  139. 139
    catclub says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: wow, so the same guy who had his fingers blown off by the Unabomber.
    Ted Kazcinski.

    @Scott S.: “wingnuts fucking pissed their pants in terror at how close they came to getting vast numbers of the True Believers rounded up and thrown into prison.”

    Really? I got no impression of that at all. I thought it was ‘find the three guys, then close your eyes.’ Closing down militias did not seem to be the order of the day.
    Maybe I am insensitive.

  140. 140
    catclub says:

    @Geoduck: and on the other hand, someone pointed out that the next closest state Romney won, after NC, was Georgia – not OK, or ID or WY, which means it (and NC) may be more likely to go blue.

  141. 141
    negative 1 says:

    @blingee: that was truly awesome. Oh how I wish there were video for that.

  142. 142
    Roger Moore says:

    @LD50:

    What does this mean? It means that we have the Tea Party to thank for the fact that the GOP lacks the numbers in Senate to impeach Obama.

    Except that:

    1) The Senate technically does not impeach the President. Impeachment takes place in the House and is essentially equivalent to an indictment. The Senate conducts a trial of the person who was impeached.

    2) Conviction in the Senate requires a 2/3 vote, not a simple majority, which is why Andrew Johnson wasn’t thrown out of power and why the whole Clinton imbroglio was such a waste of time. It’s also why Nancy Pelosi was right to take impeachment of Bush off the table. The Republicans were never going to vote him out, and it would have looked just as bad to a large swathe of the public as the Clinton mess did.

  143. 143
    Mike E says:

    @negative 1: It’s screaming for interpretive video “re-enactments”

  144. 144
    negative 1 says:

    @Bob In Portland: “How do the feds handle legal marijuana”? They ignore it. Same as they always do, and then send ‘cease and desist or else we arrest’ letters to the largest growers. For all intents and purposes CA has had legal weed for many years now, and that’s how they’ve dealt with it. I don’t see why they’d stop now.
    Except wouldn’t it be cool if Obama just lights up a j on the front steps of the White House and reminds everyone that he’s done running for office. The collective Fox News freakout would be worth it.

  145. 145
    jibeaux says:

    @Robin G.: My 86 y.o. grandma got a knee replacement that helped her walk again, so he can gfh.

  146. 146
    Cassidy says:

    @The Moar You Know: I’ve been armed before. I sold the guns when I was unemployed so i could buy groceries. I’ve been looking into getting guns again, though, and I’m always joking about the Zombie Apocalypse with the wife and kids.

  147. 147
    PeakVT says:

    @Bob In Portland: DC is different from PR in that it is just a central jurisdiction of a major metropolitan area, whereas PR is a large enough region (larger than DE and RI) to have several separate urban areas. In addition, if DC is made a state, it will be two solid Senate votes for the expansion of every government program, especially defense. I’m not comfortable with that at all, and I am somebody who favors the expansion of many government programs.

    The solution to the DC problem was and is retrocession of everything outside the monumental core.

  148. 148
    negative 1 says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: So is he pissed that iTunesU happened and it hasn’t lead to world domination?

  149. 149
    1badbaba3 says:

    @EconWatcher: They don’t really exist. We only use them in stories to scare kids around the campfire.

  150. 150
    Roger Moore says:

    @Jay in Oregon:

    And the fact that we’re all watching and not “liking” or sharing on YouTube will drive her even more batshit crazy.

    She not only turned off comments, she turned off the like/dislike buttons. I guess she knows how that one was going to turn out, too.

  151. 151
  152. 152
    LAC says:

    @David in NY: All I heard while listening to that demented old feeb was “RapeRapeRapeRapeRapeRape”. I kept wondering what 50’s pomade he put on his hair to keep that combover in place.

  153. 153
    Mnemosyne says:

    @dm:

    The weird part is that he seems to have adopted the Unabomber’s views on society and education despite his experience.

  154. 154
    Brachiator says:

    @negative 1:

    “How do the feds handle legal marijuana”? They ignore it. Same as they always do, and then send ‘cease and desist or else we arrest’ letters to the largest growers. For all intents and purposes CA has had legal weed for many years now, and that’s how they’ve dealt with it.

    In CA, medical marijuana shops are being shut down all over the place. And using the IRS to deny regular business deductions is kicking the crap out of legal growers.

    In short, the stupid feds keep propping up the illegal market.

  155. 155
    NotMax says:

    @Bob in Portland

    If PR applies for statehood, how could you keep out DC?

    The federal district as an entity is created by the Constitution.

    Puerto Rico is not.

    Would require an amendment to undo its status in order for D.C. to qualify for statehood.

  156. 156
    les says:

    Nice of ‘im to admit they can’t win unless voters are ignorant. Surprisingly, not sure he’s thought the deal all the way through.

  157. 157
    jibeaux says:

    @blingee: Okay, I made it two minutes and I am laughing but I think I get the premise. Does she go on like that for twenty four freakin’ minutes?

  158. 158
    The Moar You Know says:

    @blingee: Oh wow. She’s a fine piece of work.

  159. 159

    @Bob In Portland:

    I’d like to see some commentary on Puerto Rico. Will the Republicans oppose it?

    PR brings with it 5 new House members and 2 new Senators. All or most would be Democratic. No way the GOP goes for that.

    We could let them split up Texas into two, if they really wanted it.

    However, I think that the next Dem House can just vote on it by simple majority.

    This is why Alaska and Hawaii had to come in at roughly the same time: One was R, one was D, for “balance” (though ironically their colors have since reversed).

  160. 160
  161. 161
    Don says:

    @Bootlegger: BESS FTW!

  162. 162
    PeakVT says:

    @NotMax: I don’t think so. Arlington County was returned to Virginia without requiring an amendment. There’s no reason that I know of preventing Congress from turning most of DC into a territory, and then into a state. Entirely undoing DC might be trickier, but there’s nothing saying it can’t be done. Here are the relevant sections:

    To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States,

    The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States…

  163. 163
    dm says:

    @Mnemosyne:
    An extreme rejection of the mainstream, yes. Certainly not the Unabomber’s rejection of technology, though. Gelernter seems to have become quasi-Extropian.

    @aimai: you’re right that bad experiences don’t really justify his bitterness.

  164. 164
    Ripley says:

    NRO: “Last one out, don’t forget to salt the earth!”

  165. 165
    NotMax says:

    @PeakVT

    There are certainly arguments both ways, but I take as precedent the necessity of amendment (rather than direct legislation) the case of the 23rd amendment granting presidential voting status and electors to D.C. residents, something previously only applicable to states.

  166. 166
    kc says:

    Screw those wingnut welfare-swilling useless lazy bastards. They ain’t gonna do shit.

  167. 167
    Jamey says:

    @Baud: Insert Al Gore reference here

  168. 168
    Brad says:

    ” the American republic of God-fearing individuals”

    What the fuck is that supposed to mean? And “Americanism”. Explain what that is.

    The right speaks in completely meaningless terms,

  169. 169
    Sm*t Cl*de says:

    I am fascinated that someone is openly taking a stand against meritocracy

    It is hardly surprising when people prefer idiocracy to ‘an aristocracy of ruling know-it-alls’, but it is always amusing that it comes from the party of the Bush dynasty.

  170. 170
    Chris says:

    They reject the American republic of God-fearing individuals in favor of the European ideal, which has only been government by aristocracy:

    You know, it’s incredibly fucking rich of a people who idolize the Founding Fathers (a good chunk of them slave-owning feudal lords, who set up a system in which only rich men could vote) and believe they did everything perfectly and every deviation from that was a crime against humanity, to piss and moan about anyone favoring government by “aristocracy.”

  171. 171
    delosgatos says:

    @300baud:

    I feel sad for her. So much hate. So much anger based on things that aren’t even true. So little compassion. So much butterscotch schnapps.

    Hear that in the voice of Morticia Addams and it’s even better. :)

  172. 172
    Citizen Alan says:

    @blingee:

    OMG, I am crying that is so funny. I can barely type I’m laughing so hard. I’m only 5 minutes in and the best part is the caption explaining that she’s been swilling Butternips and water with beer chasers. This is hilarious!

    Everyone please listen to this insane self-described “bitch” who genuinely thinks that the real reason Obama won is because not enough Republican “motherfuckers” would share her crazy rants on Facebook.

  173. 173
    Citizen Alan says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    As for “PORGIs” … I don’t think so. Not going to catch on.

    Oh yes it is! Me and some friends are ordering tshirts tomorrow.

  174. 174
    Citizen Alan says:

    @PreservedKillick:

    Nice rants against birtherism and the muslim shite.

    Yeah, I was flatly astonished that as demonstrably crazy as she is, she is still more sane than the majority of Republicans who think Obama is a Kenyan Muslim.

    Oh wait a minute. At 23:30, she speculates that he’ll probably convert to Islam after leaving office “IN FOUR FUCKING YEARS!!!” Hilarious.

  175. 175
    Citizen Alan says:

    @Joshua Norton:

    Totally meaningless in reference to today’s Republican party. MY family was Republican back then as well. It was more of a matter of geography than ideology. Northerners were mostly Republican and Southerns were mostly Democratic. A lot has changed since then.

    True. Hell, most African-Americans were Republicans until 1964, at which point Jackie Robinson came out of the GOP convention and publicly compared it to a Klan rally.

  176. 176
    Citizen Alan says:

    @300baud:

    I feel kinda bad now for liking Butterscotch Schnapps.:)

  177. 177
    patrick says:

    you know, let the red states secede. they’re a financial drain on the blue states anyway, from a federal budget standpoint….

  178. 178
    Brantl says:

    Ever notice how fast these assholes want to run away with the ball when they are losing the game? What whiny little tools.

  179. 179
    VeteranDemJce says:

    Asshats like this bloviating buffoon would load their pants if there was another civil war and they were required to get off their asses and grab a rifle. Tough talk, weak knees. And how many civil wars does this fu*kstick think we’ve had?!? Also.

  180. 180
    Mr Furious says:

    @NotMax: @NotMax:
    Now that the spotlight on him has (thankfully) dimmed, guess ol’ Mitt can safely buy up some Chrysler stock

    Right after he amends his tax returns, he can take the money he deducted for charity to lower his rate and use that!

  181. 181
    PLH ~ NYC says:

    That’s right folks, the White folks from the South and Middle of the Country are so flippin’ mad that the Usurper won again that they want revolution. But why is anyone surprised that the NR would come out and say it. They pander to the faded glory of the Confederacy and the masses of ill-educated poor folks in their strongholds. This is merely the trumpet call to continue their pyhrric fight to but the non-whites back in the place they believe they should never have been allowed to leave in the fist place. They do this by instilling ignorance and intolerance. And part of the brainwashing is though religion. These traits are not natural behaviors in children, rather they are learned. Ignorance and intolerance can be cured but it is hard to do so when the educational institutions in those Red States have been corrupted by anti-science anti-fact creationist curricula, and religious edumication. Defeat the anti-educationists and the grifters like Michelle Rhee and you are on the way to killing the base that allows the NR to exist.

  182. 182
    Dexter's new approach says:

    The world’s best minds flock to the MITs and UC-Berkelys and Northwesterns because they seek discovery at the highest level. This idiot wants to reduce the experience to confirming a selective reading of the bible, the constitution, Atlas Shrugged – and parenthetically the lazy blacks and mexicans…

    The current conservative movement is a rejection of pluralism and intellectualism. It’s pathological.

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