The Mighty Shadow of St. Breitbart (More Schadenfreude)

Mad props to Wonkette‘s Doktor Zoom for a brilliant summary about the sorry state of “Ghost Breitbart’s ‘Happy Cult’“:

As we all know from the plot of virtually every big Hollywood gangster movie ever made, when there’s a gang of loutish thugs and the head lout is removed, the remaining loutish thugs invariably turn on each other in a frenzy of loutishness and thuggery. This is apparently what is going on at rightwing internet concern Breitbart.com following the sudden death of Andrew Breitbart on March 1 of this year, according to this juicy Buzzfeed story by McKay Coppins, which says the late lout’s “web empire” is now “plagued by an unusual degree of disorganization and rampant infighting as his disciples battle for ownership of his legacy.” Golly. No one could have seen THAT coming!…

Actual quote from an actual former Breitbrat:

“We were running a kind of happy cult when Andrew was in charge, and when Andrew died everyone had an incentive to spin what they thought he was up to,” said one former employee. “If he knew he was going to die, I’m sure he would have called a dinner the night before and given us the tablets or something…. But he didn’t.”

The original Buzzfeed article (in case it’s blocked at your company, or you have some kind of principled objection to political journamalism supported by kitten videos) contains a wealth of he-said, they-said details, plus a photoshopped Last Breitbart Supper which is moderately hilarious but probably not something you want to click on while eating. Probably the key to unraveling the whole mess:

One pressing consequence of the company’s organizational challenges: Questions from inside the organization about how the finances are being handled. Shortly before Breitbart’s death, Bannon helped bring in $10 million in capital, which was meant to fund the site’s relaunch and expand its staff. But when Breitbart died, he left a wife and four young children who could benefit from a financial return — and two sources familiar with the situation say the widow has been asking about the money….

This hasn’t exactly been the greatest year to be a leftist, but at least we can feel secure that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

51 replies
  1. 1
    Yutsano says:

    Mmm…Schadenfreude. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

  2. 2
    redshirt says:

    He may be dead, but his vile influence still lingers.

  3. 3
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    That new guy at Wonkette sure likes his ponies.

  4. 4
    blingee says:

    I couldn’t care less what the knuckle dragging morons are up to at that site. They are morons. Full stop.

  5. 5
    karen marie says:

    Why would Breitbart’s widow be asking about the money if it was capital invested in the company, unless she thinks it’s been pilfered and whatever interest she may have is soon to be or already worthless?

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer group.

  6. 6
    redshirt says:

    @karen marie: Because once the Lord dies the Lady is in charge of His Kingdom, until the Eldest Son comes of Age. How old is L’il Prince Breitbart anyways?

  7. 7
    Citizen Alan says:

    This hasn’t exactly been the greatest year to be a leftist, but at least we can feel secure that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

    Secure?!? More like satisfaction! Bordering on glee!

  8. 8
    freelancer says:

    This will always be my favorite thing ever written about dumb Ole Andy.

  9. 9
    Fuck ALL the chickens! (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.) says:

    “If he knew he was going to die, I’m sure he would have called a dinner the night before and given us the tablets or something…

    The Black Capsule would’ve been even better (it worked for Hitler and Eva Braun).

    /M*A*S*H references

  10. 10
    gwangung says:

    Eh, I may be a mean fuck, but I’m hoping that his widow at least has living expenses taken care of….

  11. 11
    suzanne says:

    People like Andrew Breitbart make me wish for an angry and vengeful God.

  12. 12
    TenguPhule says:

    But when Breitbart died, he left a wife and four young children who could benefit from a financial return

    And there is great hope they will be forced into welfare and learn what it means to piss on the poor, thereby satisfying the Galactic Quota for Irony and Karma.

  13. 13
    Yutsano says:

    @gwangung: I don’t wish the sins of the husband upon the spouse, nor the father upon the children. I do occasionally have morals like that.

  14. 14
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @TenguPhule:

    Come on man, don’t wish suffering on kids.

    The (theoretically speaking) adults who signed up to work for the guy, however-they can all eat shit for all I care. If this ends up with Pollak, Shapiro, Loesch, and the rest begging in the street, that would be just fine with me.

  15. 15
    cursorial says:

    “If he knew he was going to die, I’m sure he would have called a dinner the night before and given us the tablets or something…. But he didn’t.”

    Speaking as a disinterested atheist, is it too much to ask these loons to stop raving about Sharia law long enough to unmix their Christian metaphors?

  16. 16
    tam says:

    Breitbart’s widow is Orson Bean’s daughter. She’ll be fine.

  17. 17

    @Spaghetti Lee: TenguPhule can always be relied upon to say something hideous that right-wingers can point to and say “Hey, look at leftists!”

  18. 18
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    I don’t wish actual suffering on the kids, but I do hope for a revelatory moment for them along the lines of, “Jaysus, Dad was really wrong about a whole lot of things, wasn’t he?”

    Otherwise, I fear we’ll be dealing with the conservatives’ answer to the Kardashians in a few years.

  19. 19
    Origuy says:

    Breitbart’s widow is the daughter of actor Orson Bean. They’re probably not rich, but I doubt that they are hurting.

  20. 20
    karl says:

    Holy crap! Breitbart’s grandfather-in-law was a founding member of the ACLU? Holy crap!

  21. 21
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    I don’t know how old his kids are, but he was 43, so high school at the oldest, right? They’ve got some time to make up their minds, is what I’m saying. Having his kids work for good instead of evil would probably be the best legacy Breitbart could have.

  22. 22
    Over Again says:

    Dancing on anyone’s grave invites bad karma. Not cool no matter how much you don’t care for the person’s politics.

  23. 23
    Joey Maloney says:

    I can’t dance. I urinate pretty good, though.

  24. 24
    Applejinx says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: Dang- if I had Rainbow Dash’s ladyparts in my face like that I’d look like that too.

    I think on behalf of all ponies, we protest the vile slur of being likened to Breitbartians. CLEARLY ponies are liberals and refuse to dance for the pleasure of Romney… woops.

    Well, maybe some do. But I’m sure they don’t enjoy it!

  25. 25
    David says:

    Bannon helped bring in $10 million in capital . . .

    To be used in any way they see fit — including just handing it over to the widow?

  26. 26
    vernonlee says:

    @freelancer — thanks for the link (and reminder).

    Anyone who didn’t click on @freelancer’s link to a great Sadly, No! piece at #8, do yourself a favor: scroll up, click, enjoy.

    You might need a cigarette afterward, whether or not you smoke.

  27. 27
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    This hasn’t exactly been the greatest year to be a leftist, but at least we can feel secure that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

    Considering the ongoing pop-cult rage for the undead, I wouldn’t feel “secure” about anything associated with that miserable former excuse for a human being.

  28. 28
    SFAW says:

    “If he knew he was going to die, I’m sure he would have called a dinner the night before and given us the tablets or something…. But he didn’t.”

    Tablets? So now it’s Moses Breitbart?

    That comment alone may be enough to refute Darwin.

  29. 29
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    @TenguPhule:

    And there is great hope they will be forced into welfare and learn what it means to piss on the poor, thereby satisfying the Galactic Quota for Irony and Karma.

    Bad, bad, bad idea. “Daddy’s dead & now we’re poor” would only engender a seething desire for revenge upon their father’s enemies, whose Schadenfreude at his untimely decline-&-fall they will confuse with responsibility for same.

    Best bet for karmic revenge is building a better society–one that in its peace & prosperity 20 years from now will look back at the years between Bush v Gore and Obama’s Second Inaugural & (shaking its collective head sadly) wonder how intelligent people could ever have been taken in by deranged hatemongers like Andrew Breitbart…

  30. 30
    Aimai says:

    Orson beans family were founders of the ACLU and very involved in civil rights, apparently. Bean is only eight years older than I am which makes his family old lefties all through McCarthy and a very dark period. I wonder what those family dinners were like?

  31. 31
    Ash Can says:

    I wouldn’t mind seeing every penny of that $10 mil going to the widow and kids, and leaving the Breitbrats all begging on street corners. Especially that O’Keefe asswipe, who, according to this morning’s ChiTrib, got a Dem campaigner in VA fired with another of his bullshit videos. (Then again, anyone dumb enough to still get taken in by O’Keefe’s shit is probably a liability to their enterprise anyway.)

  32. 32
    MFA says:

    “…he left a wife and four young children who could benefit from a financial return…”

    So he chose not to purchase adequate life insurance in the great and good free market. I am sure as a matter of principle his survivors will refuse all gummint benefits, and homelessly starve–as Breitbart by his inaction clearly intended–rather than mooch like, you know, those people. Right?

  33. 33
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Ash Can: That $10 Mill was investment money, a business deal. I doubt that it can go to the widow and kids. Whoever gave the company the money gave it for a purpose and expects a return on it. They may even want it back.

    Hate to sound harsh but if Breitbart didn’t have insurance he was more than stupid. There is safety net the family can still use (Social Security). Mrs. B may have to go to her contacts and get a job.

  34. 34
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Ash Can: That $10 Mill was investment money, a business deal. I doubt that it can go to the widow and kids. Whoever gave the company the money gave it for a purpose and expects a return on it. They may even want it back.

    Hate to sound harsh but if Breitbart didn’t have insurance he was more than stupid. There is safety net the family can still use (Social Security). Mrs. B may have to go to her contacts and get a job.

  35. 35
    Ruviana says:

    Orson Bean may have liberal roots, but he found god and became a conservative activist. Too bad, I really liked him when I was a kid.

  36. 36
    El Cid says:

    @Uncle Cosmo: The spawn of the Kochs carry on Daddy’s anti-poor John Birch Society bitterness just fine, despite all the riches and life stability a society could possibly give them.

  37. 37
    smith says:

    Wasn’t it common knowledge that Breitbart had a heart problem? If he didn’t pursue life insurance so that in case of his death his wife and children could be provided for, there is no one to blame but Breitbart himself for being selfish enough to not think about his wife and kids.

  38. 38
    Democrat Partisan Asshole says:

    No one could have forseen…oh wait, this was inevitable. Hope everyone involved dies poor and starving, with their reputations ruined.

    I wouldn’t mind seeing every penny of that $10 mil going to the widow and kids

    @Ash Can: Oh, I would. She knew the manner of monster that she was marrying, and yet she not only chose to, she chose to breed with him and let his diseased genes propagate.

    The money needs to go to the many, many people whose lives Dead Andrew ruined, and if there’s anything left after those people are all paid and taken care of – and there won’t be – the “poor widow” and the hellspawn can have it.

  39. 39
    EconWatcher says:

    @smith:

    How do you get good life insurance with a known heart problem?

  40. 40
    Henry Bayer says:

    I object to the Buzzfeed article’s statement that there were “liberals who loved fighting with him.” There are people who enjoy private acts involving fecal matter, but to propose that same enjoyment in politics?

  41. 41
    Tom says:

    I think we should exhume Beirbart’s corpse and drive a stake through his heart, just in case!

  42. 42
    LanceThruster says:

    What are the survivor’s benefits for the 101st Fighting Keyboardists like?

  43. 43
    NickM says:

    And Breitbrats aren’t the types to let a few orphans get between them and a big pile of money.

  44. 44
    blingee says:

    @Over Again: Thanks for the lecture on morals oh so very moral one. However, I am not totally in disagreement. I want to see Cheney live to have many more heart attacks.

  45. 45
    maya says:

    There’s $10 million in Breitbart Enterprises, Inc.? Sounds like a job for Bain Capital.

    And shouldn’t the proper Christian analogy be: They are now casting lots for his skivvies?

  46. 46
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    @tam: Ah, but too much is never enough when it comes to money-pigs.

    I wasn’t at all surprised when this guy’s heart exploded. You can only be so angry for so long. I’m surprised the equally vile and furious Michael Savage (who’s no kid) and the obese, cigar-chomping Limbaugh are still upright.

  47. 47
    TenguPhule says:

    Not cool no matter how much you don’t care for the person’s politics.

    You’re not invited to the Conga Line for Cheney & Bush’s graves then. The urinal is on Rumsfield’s.

  48. 48
    Fred Fnord says:

    Wow, someone used ‘political journalism’ and ‘buzzfeed’ in the same sentence. They must be happy over there.

    My feelings on Breitbart are, alas, unprintable. My feelings on buzz feed mirror those of the White House Press Secretary, who said, ” “Your GOP operative should have had the courtesy to stay sober before noon, and BuzzFeed should go back to labeling cat slideshows.”

  49. 49
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    Yesterday’s Palin thread topped out in the mid-90’s as far as postings go. This one looks to be petering out already just shy of 50. I think these two blowhards just don’t generate the response they used to. Perhaps it’ll be well-deserved oblivion in another ten years or so.

  50. 50
    Ben Johannson says:

    This hasn’t exactly been the greatest year to be a leftist, but at least we can feel secure that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

    Disgusting. You really are low-class, Anne Laurie.

  51. 51
    maya says:

    @Ben Johannson:

    Disgusting. You really are low-class, Anne Laurie.

    I’ve never understood why so many Americans, especially of the Christian persuasion, who say they believe in life that transcends death, heaven, and the eternal happiness achieved therein, feel compelled to condemn those who are merely rejoicing in Breitbart’s having attained that ultimate spiritual goal you all seek.

    Could it be that you really don’t believe in all that claptrap and the finality of death is unacceptable to you, therefore, those who rejoice in it are “disgusting” and “low class” because THIS is the only life you know to be precious and precarious at the same time?

    I am very happy (for) Breitbart that he is deader than a doornail. Hope he’s having a wonderful timeless time running around ranting “Stop raping people” on the Golden Streets beyond the Pearly Gates just like he obviously enjoyed doing here upon this mortal earth.

    Drop dead, Ben. And I mean that in the most spiritually uplifting sense possible.

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