GOP: Rape Nuts

Because apparently, there are multiple positions on rape — whether it’s bad, good, legitimate, acceptable, God’s will, a crying shame, shit that happens to some 14-year-old girls because they rape easy, shit that happens to unmarried broads, shit that happens just because, or whatever the fuck else — here’s a handy dandy chart to which you can refer when you’re trying to decide whether to vote for President “Issued An Executive Order on Preventing Violence Against Women and promoting Gender Equality“, or Mitt Romney, the head of the “Hey Girl, Get into My Van” party.

You’re welcome.

[via Eclectablog]

[cross-posted at ABLC]






69 replies
  1. 1
    Raven says:

    Keep up the fire!

  2. 2
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Rape-Nuts would give anyone indigestion and bad gas.

    Nightmares too.

  3. 3
    Anibundel says:

    I know we’ve been having all this bad press rape comments from the lower echelons, but aren’t we past due for the next *Romney* gaffe?
    Or did they finally workout a patch for that bug?

  4. 4
    The Bearded Blogger says:

    As a rule, the more prudish you are publicly, the more perverted and sick you are, privately.

    I can’t even imagine the kind of porn Mr. Mourdock enjoys.

    I can imagine Paul Ryan self-abusing to Ayn Rand, though.

  5. 5
    joel hanes says:

    “marital duty rape”

    1912 Lady Allice Hiddington (1857 – 1940) Journal “I am happy now that Charles calls on my bed chamber less frequently than of old. As it is I now endure but two calls a week and when I hear his steps outside my door, I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs and think of England.”

  6. 6
    DonkeyKong says:

    Hey, when life gives you rape, make rapenade!

  7. 7
    gex says:

    @Anibundel: Isn’t he no longer taking interviews? Take the machine off the network and it can’t send bad packets anymore.

  8. 8
    The Bearded Blogger says:

    @Anibundel: Yeah, they fixed it. Algorithm wasn’t the right height.

    My guess is he isn’t doing much campaigning. Or only in “quiet rooms”.

  9. 9
    becca says:

    Realist?!! Oh, Re-aalliisstttt?!

    Where oh where could you be?

  10. 10
    Baud says:

    Everyone quotes the ni-CLANG scene from Blazing Saddles, but maybe the most apt line for this election is “I like rape.”

  11. 11
    dmsilev says:

    @gex: I think that’s the current plan. Which of course means that today we got a whole long litany of “Governor Romney refused to comment on Mourdock’s statements”.

    So sad.

  12. 12
    Roger Moore says:

    @Anibundel:

    I know we’ve been having all this bad press rape comments from the lower echelons, but aren’t we past due for the next Romney gaffe?

    I think the rest of the party is trying to gaffe so much that Romney’s get lost in the noise.

  13. 13
    BGinCHI says:

    But, Party of Family Values!

  14. 14
    piratedan says:

    obvious that these rape-nuts are in their shelled, still pristine edition…….

  15. 15
    Anibundel says:

    @Roger Moore:
    But these rape comments aren’t bugs. They’re features.

  16. 16
    The Bearded Blogger says:

    @joel hanes: That’s so fucking awful… I bet the troglodytes would hardly see the problem… except maybe she should think of Texas, or Poland.

  17. 17
    robertdsc-PowerBook says:

    A rain of Hellfire missiles should visit each of these cretins.

  18. 18
    Roger Moore says:

    @BGinCHI:

    But, Party of Family Values!

    They value families so much, they want every woman to have one, whether she wants to or not. That’s Republican Family Values!

  19. 19
    burnspbesq says:

    Meanwhile, on the sane side of town …

    http://my.earthlink.net/articl.....b9314f75d7

  20. 20
    John Cole says:

    Whoever came up with the rape nuts is a fucking genius.

  21. 21
    Citizen_X says:

    Hey, it’s about time that Clayton Williams got some respect, what with all these Johnny-come-rapelys running around.

  22. 22
  23. 23
    Narcissus says:

    Well, when they say these things, they don’t mean good, upstanding conservative housewives. They mean sluts and whores, y’know, liberal, minority, and poor women. Not like actual people.

  24. 24
    Penty says:

    This is what happens when you piss off a writer.

    http://whatever.scalzi.com/201.....liticians/

  25. 25
    maya says:

    Just another day in the Republican rape memes.

  26. 26
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @John Cole:

    Now all we need is a Euell Gibbons lookalike sitting at a table, munching on a bowl of Rape-Nuts and opining:

    “The taste reminds me of wild hickory nuts with just a hint of clam.”

    I always thought Grape-Nuts were like chewing on gravel that tasted like cardboard.

  27. 27
    Raven says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: How you doin?

  28. 28
    gogol's wife says:

    @Raven:

    That’s good.

  29. 29
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @Baud:
    The whole movie could be stretched to fit the 2012 election.

    You can have Obama as the black sheriff, Romney as Hedley Lamarr (the greedy plutocrat who wants to kick people out of their homes and steal their land), and of course:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....page#t=21s

  30. 30
    The Bearded Blogger says:

    @Raven: Oh, I hope that becomes huge! Sooo good!

    @Penty: Rapists and GOP lawmakers have at least one trait in common: a burning desire to control a woman’s body

  31. 31
    burnspbesq says:

    OK, I think this is cute. The National Review finds it “cringe-worthy.” Who’s right.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/pol.....s/264139/#

  32. 32
    TheMightyTrowel says:

    Totally OT:

    More crazy spam that just landed in my academic email account:

    I am from Singapore and I am experiencing a difficult problem. My neighbour downstairs is using an unexplained phenomena to harm my body. I think this is a first of its kind in the world. He has a mysterious medical condition that have radiation or invisible energy all over his body. He can somehow manipulate this energy to hurt my body from a very far distance. He somehow managed to capture my mental image on his whole body and can manipulate my blood vessels by just lying in bed . I think this energy is a new discovery as I have yet to come across anything like that on the internet, physics books, medical books, etc. It could be photon, radio waves or something but I still do not know how it can pull/move my blood vessels very hard until it hurts so badly. Is there any kind of particle that can do that? He refuses to see a doctor about it as he only wants to harm people with his unexplained phenomena. His mother and sister have also reported this to the police. I need your help as the police in my country need solid scientific proof before they can investigate. Can you please come to my country to persuade the police to bring him for a medical examination because this type of medical condition can also reflect on a DNA test. I think he might have a mutated gene .I have emailed a professor at the Institute of Medical Biology in Singapore and he also suspect there is a mutated gene. An MRI scan or Geiger meter might also show the radiation spots on his body

  33. 33
    gogol's wife says:

    @burnspbesq:

    I think it’s kind of cute, too, but it reminds me of ads for Putin that had the same angle. They would show young women talking to their doctors or therapists and agonizing about their “first time,” and the authority figure would approve the young woman’s choice of Vladimir Vladimirovich. (Although I’ve never really been sure if those ads were real or a parody. Russia’s like that.)

  34. 34
    burnspbesq says:

    @TheMightyTrowel:

    Whoa.

  35. 35
    gogol's wife says:

    @TheMightyTrowel:

    I can’t figure out what the scam is. I’m afraid it’s sincere.

  36. 36
    The Bearded Blogger says:

    @TheMightyTrowel: What the fuck!? Definately spam, but I don’t see how they make money of it, or how someone falls in the trap.

    The internet makes the world weird.

  37. 37
    Raven says:

    @TheMightyTrowel: That’s what happens when we use that Blue America!

  38. 38
    Petorado says:

    Why don’t those guys just call themselves the Rape-publican Party and get it over with.

  39. 39
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Let’s see what percentage of the vote Romneybot gets among women voters. Heard today that the gap for Obama among women voters had evaporated. Hard to believe.

  40. 40
    burnspbesq says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    I’d guess parody. Russians have a long tradition of stuff that looks on the surface like it’s extolling the leadership, but if you’re in on the joke you know it’s satire.

  41. 41
    General Stuck says:

    lots OT

    But you should be sufficiently entertained by the creative racist framing and all around primo wingnuttery. A front paged diary at Redstate showing why Obama is a sissy boy with the GWOT

    The coterie of lickspittles around Obama were also keenly aware that the president was the most effeminate holder of the office since Woodrow Wilson, an image accentuated by his penchant for wearing mom jeans, over large tennis shoes, and his inability to throw a baseball and not look like a little girl. Something had to be done to make him look tough or he’d be fetching Hugo Chavez sandwiches before he was out of office.

  42. 42
    Strontium 90 says:

    @Baud: I think the GOP wants to hold its own Number 6 dance!

  43. 43
    Roger Moore says:

    @gogol’s wife:
    That’s my guess, too. It’s somebody who’s sincere but delusional, and they’re trying to find anybody in the world who can help them with their problem.

  44. 44
    Mnemosyne says:

    @TheMightyTrowel:

    I think sometimes they send out crazy text spam just to make sure the addresses are working before they sell them to someone else.

  45. 45
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Raven:

    Maintaining altitude, thanks! The hair isn’t going anywhere (so far) but there wasn’t much on top to begin with anyway. The doc upped my dose and so far I’m tolerating it well. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be making any difference but according to the doc there are other avenues to explore regarding medications. The only problem with that is they get progressively more expensive and add on other complications, so there’s that.

    I hope life is treating you well and thanks for the thought! :)

  46. 46
    Raven says:

    @General Stuck: Fuckin baseball sissy’s would lose their ass under the bucket.

  47. 47
    General Stuck says:

    @Raven:

    Fuckin baseball sissy’s

    But we got bwanes to make up for it. And good timing.

  48. 48
    Raven says:

    @General Stuck: Smoltz is a good hooper. So was Tim Stoddard.

  49. 49
    Anya says:

    @General Stuck: Something tells me that the person who wrote this crap is the wimpiest muthafuka in the world. Only someone insecure about his own masculinity obsesses over whether another guy is effeminate or not. Either that or he wants a piece of dat fine ass.

  50. 50
    BGinCHI says:

    @TheMightyTrowel: This sounds legit compared to most of the emails I get from Cengage Learning.

  51. 51
    MazeDancer says:

    Just because it’s so well done, and a lot of work, must note that the chart was created and first posted by a commenter at Daily Kos named connecticutie on Oct 17th. Crossposted at her own blog.

    Then after Mourdock spoke his insanity, a Daily Kos commenter named Brainwrap appropriated and updated the chart and posted it. Daily Kos moved Brainwrap’s version, the one posted here, to front page and are also using it in their fundraising e-mails.

    Brainwrap gave permission for anyone to use it, anywhere, to fight the good fight.

    No discussions between Brainwrap and connecticutie were in Brainwrap’s post. Though connecticutie’s orignal blog post was linked. Which is repeated below, because someone who thought up the chart deserves at list a page hit:

    http://iamthecassandra.wordpre.....ory-chart/

    (Odd tech note: For unknown reasons, Brainwrap created the “update” in Photoshop, not InDesign or something easier. Was mentioned in Brainwrap’s discussion of why other GOP crazy stuff not included. Brainwrap said that would make the file too big for Photoshop. Could be either joke or a reference to Brainwrap’s computer situation)

  52. 52
    Sparrowgal says:

    “retweeting” here –

    Ann ‏@Ann7837
    I heard there will be RAPE PANELS in a Romney/Ryan admin to decide if each rape was forcible, legitimate or invited.

    Seemed apropos.

  53. 53

    The only way this rape madness is going to stop is if Romney and the Republicans lose with a huge gender gap. If they keep on winning with it, they will keep doing it.

    I don’t really know what to say to women who support them. I thought about it for a while, but I came up with nothing.

  54. 54
    Anya says:

    @MazeDancer: Thanks for giving props to the person who created the chart. It’s important to credit people when using their work.

  55. 55
    redshirt says:

    Akin is one weird looking dude.

    Also too: I love the real Grape Nuts. But only when they’ve soaked in milk and honey for a bit.

    I also add them to my awesome 4 Granola Breakfast Granola Extravaganza! 4 types of granola, dried fruits, fresh fruit, sliced almond, a dash of nutty trailmix, honey, cinnamon, a bit of milk, and several scoops of organic vanilla yogurt. Yum!

  56. 56
    RILnyc says:

    You forgot this one:

    “A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.”

    –William Napoli, Republican member of the South Dakota state legislature, on the only circumstances in which abortion would be permissible under HD 1216.

  57. 57
    Gex says:

    Do we know who these losers all are? I recognize Huckabee, Ryan, and Akin. I want to make sure to tag them all on FB.

  58. 58
    Gex says:

    Do we know who these losers all are? I recognize Huckabee, Ryan, and Akin. I want to make sure to tag them all on FB.

  59. 59
    rikyrah says:

    thanks for this, ABL.

  60. 60
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Love the Rape Nuts – The Breakfast of Scalawags!

  61. 61
    Betsy says:

    What is it with the comb-overs on these guys?? Yeesh

  62. 62
    D0n Camillo says:

    I was able to figure out who the men are in this picture, but I can’t identify the women. It makes me sad to think of any woman buying into the whole “legitimate rape” meme. Hell, it makes me sad to think of any man buying into it, let alone US Senate wannabees.

  63. 63
  64. 64
    NonyNony says:

    @James E. Powell:

    The only way this rape madness is going to stop is if Romney and the Republicans lose with a huge gender gap

    Not really. Because when conservatives lose it is because they weren’t conservative enough. So they’ll double down on the madness.

    The only way I see for this to end is for the GOP to fracture the way that the Democratic Party fractured in the 1970s. Even then, the nuttiest part of the party will be there as a tempting target for votes. There’s something about this country prevents left-wing ideas from taking root without a hell of a lot of effort while the stupidest right-wing talking point can become massively popular without anyone even trying. (And from the way I read history, it’s been like that since the 1800s, so it isn’t like this is a new development).

  65. 65
    fuckwit says:

    Can you please send this handy chart to the 9% of women in the latest AP poll who switched from Obama voters to RMoney voters, now evenly splitting the vote?

    Seriously, WTF. I have no idea what the hell they’re thinking.

  66. 66
    MacKenna says:

    I think it’s safe to say everyone is allergic to these nuts.

    Best thing would be to ban them from Planet Earth for all eternity.

  67. 67

    […] Eclectablog and at dKos, the first chart went utterly viral, hitting everything from Alternet and Balloon Juice to the New Civil Rights Movement, Dan Savage and even (and it doesn’t get more surreal than […]

  68. 68

    […] GOP: Rape Nuts (balloon-juice.com) […]

  69. 69

    […] GOP: Rape Nuts This article originally appeared on Cerian’s blog here. […]

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  3. […] Eclectablog and at dKos, the first chart went utterly viral, hitting everything from Alternet and Balloon Juice to the New Civil Rights Movement, Dan Savage and even (and it doesn’t get more surreal than […]

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