Paul Ryan Mocks #WarOnWomen — It’s Funny Because He’s A Misogynist Piggy

At a fundraiser in Florida, Paul Ryan mocked women’s rights and likened the war on women to a “war on left-handed Irishmen.” Get it?! It’s funny! Except for when it’s not, which is, like, all the time:

FORT MYERS, Fla. — GOP vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan on Thursday night poked fun at the Democratic argument that the GOP is waging a “war on women.”

“Now it’s a war on women; tomorrow it’s going to be a war on left-handed Irishmen or something like that,” Ryan told donors at a Naples fundraiser, according to Shushanna Walshe of ABC News.

And with that, millions of women cheered because finally — finally — they were no longer being likened to caterpillars.

Except no we didn’t — because Paul Ryan isn’t fucking funny and I’ll tell you why.

[read full post at ABLC]

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44 replies
  1. 1
    freelancer says:

    Of the issues that likely voters say are most important to them, 39% of women say that abortion is their most important issue.

    Jobs is number 2 at 19%.

    Keep on fucking that chicken, Paul.

  2. 2
    Or something like that.Suffern Ace says:

    Well if you’re going to draw a line in the sand, you might as well draw it between the two largest segments of the population. Anything to protect those sinistral Irishmen from those southpawed Irishwomen.

  3. 3
    Valdivia says:

    totally OT but it seems Castro will no be longer for this world. Lots of interesting ramifications, specially given the huge travel changes instituted last week by the regime.

  4. 4
    AA+ Bonds says:

    that wifebeating narrowback should shut his goddamned mouth about “Irishmen”

  5. 5
    Hill Dweller says:

    @Valdivia: How long before the world’s corporations start swarming the island?

  6. 6
    freelancer says:

    @AA+ Bonds:

    that wifebeating narrowback

    [citation needed]

    ETA: I want to win against Romney/Ryan more than anyone, but I want to win and I want him to lose because HIS IDEAS SUCK. BECAUSE HIS PHILOSOPHY IS INFANTILE AND HEARTLESS. I want his career to be over because he represents an embarrassment to America. You can be anti-woman without abusing your own spouse. Silly bullshit just poisons the well.

  7. 7
    robertdsc-PowerBook says:

    Fuck you and your robotic boss, you moron.

  8. 8
    Yutsano says:

    @Valdivia: I’m honestly amazed he’s held on this long. But Raul has been asserting his control and loosening up the Communist grip for a couple years.

  9. 9
    The Dangerman says:

    Orrin Hatch. Fidel Castro. Bad week to be connected in some way to the Kennedy assassination (I don’t think Castro had Kennedy killed, but the reason Kennedy was killed involved Castro in some way; it’s the most likely explanation for the “Bay of Pigs” reference in the Nixon recordings).

  10. 10
    Valdivia says:

    @Hill Dweller:

    I bet that things are already moving in that direction, but a la chinese model with lots of govt control. Last week they relaxed the travel permits for cuban citizen’s which is pretty big. He seems to be in a vegetative state, he could last days or weeks, but obviously he will no longer appear in public.

    @Yutsano:
    me too, he is a strong fellow! Raul will be the guy who transforms the Island into something not quite what it was, not quite a din of capitalist iniquity.

  11. 11
    Calouste says:

    @The Dangerman: You mean Arlen Specter?

  12. 12
    Valdivia says:

    @The Dangerman:

    did something happen to Hatch? did I miss it?

    @calouste answers my question. thanks!

  13. 13
    Splitting Image says:

    So Paul Ryan is trying to take reproductive freedom away from left-handed Irishmen now?

    I guess it’s true. The GOP is literally running out of groups to offend.

  14. 14
    The Dangerman says:

    @Calouste:

    You mean Arlen Specter?

    Well, shit, apparently caffeine’s long since worn off; yes, Arlen “Magic Bullet” Specter.

  15. 15
    Yutsano says:

    @Valdivia: It will never go back to the massive inequality of the Bautista days no matter how much wealth escaped into Miami in the 1960s. But there are a bunch of Cubans just dying to return home and claim their own fiefdoms who will be rather stunned at the effects of Communism on land distribution. But I knew the die was cast when real estate sales started to be legalised. Once a wealth development market is started it can be very difficult to reverse without another revolution.

    @The Dangerman: Highly recommended lunch spot. It’s a tiny hole in the wall in the side of a skyscraper but their spicy teriyaki is to die for. Plus it’s right up the street from my work.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    YellowJournalism says:

    Jesus, ABL! Stop pandering to women by talking about things we care about.

    (Btw, Samantha Bee’s was the best thing about The Daily Show tonight. All they had other than that was some lame interview with a dude named Barack Obama or something. I think he’s Michelle’s husband.)

  18. 18
    Valdivia says:

    @Yutsano:

    it will never be that for sure. And I am sure, no matter how many of them are sitting on their suitcases with the keys of their old houses in their hands, the return will never be what they imagined and will flee back to their safety in the heat of florida.

  19. 19
    Yutsano says:

    @Valdivia: It’d be worth it for the sheer comedic value. And there is every possibility right after the election of the embargo getting relaxed, which would A) help the Cuban people so much and B) make Raul shit himself. What would he do without blaming all of Cuba’s ills on the Yanqui oppressors? Honestly that would be the fastest way to get a little more democracy down there. Not to mention Detroit would have an instant car parts market from all the classic vehicles a lot of Cubans take pride in restoring.

  20. 20
    Or something like that.Suffern Ace says:

    @Valdivia: Raul is 81. If he is to be transformative, he’d better act quickly.

  21. 21
    MikeJ says:

    @Or something like that.Suffern Ace: And it’s not as if Raul hasn’t been running things anyway.

  22. 22
    Valdivia says:

    @Yutsano:

    that was exactly my thought. I was hoping Obama would announce it in the debate on Monday :)

  23. 23
    MikeJ says:

    @The Dangerman: What did Larry Sloan, the inventor of mad libs have to do with Kennedy? When I heard he died, I felt very (adjective). In fact it made me(verb).

  24. 24
    Yutsano says:

    @MikeJ: Oh since we’re talking about everything else but Paulie Boy: I’ll be late on Election day possibly. I might have to go in for four hours but I’m still negotiating that with my boss. It’d help with a few other matters to do the half day too but at the same time I’d just as soon skip out on the whole affair. I’ll keep you updated, if worst comes to worst I’ll head right there from work cause I’ll be leaving right at four.

    Challah. Also. Too. :)

  25. 25
    daryljfontaine says:

    OT, but boosting the signal on VA voter registration ratfuckery. This was mentioned by Redshift a couple threads below.

    Arrest made in Harrisonburg voter registration case

    Virginia GOP caught destroying voter registration forms (from Not Larry Sabato)

    The Republican Party of Virginia predictably disavows this “individual” actor, despite his LinkedIn profile showing him as a former Congressional intern and a current employee of the RNC.

    I am sure that after an appropriate prison sentence of a year or two, he will have a secure Regional Director job waiting for him at Sproul and Associates.

    D

  26. 26
    MikeJ says:

    @Yutsano: I wonder what time people will start arriving.

    Virginia’s polls close at 4pm our time. Does Florida go another hour? Ohio is 4:30. If all three break the right way the election is over. Of course I don’t expect them to be called at the time the polls close.

    ETA: I’m now experimenting with a chocolate & cherry boule.

  27. 27
    Yutsano says:

    @MikeJ: The MSM will milk the results and exit polls for as long as they possibly can. Personally if Obama wins PA it’s more or less ball game since Ohio seems like it’s gonna be his for sure. I’m totally down with getting there and things being more or less a victory party. Then we could hang with the Drinking Liberally crew and either celebrate or commiserate. I’m optimistic though.

  28. 28
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    The only reason Republicans deny that there is a War on Women is because they don’t consider their opinion that women are second class citizens with rights that can be dictated to them by men as a War on Women. Ryan and his ilk are only trying to do what they think is best for women because they are too emotional and stupid to handle things for themselves. Men are supposed to be running the world anyway, good conservative men with strong conservative Christian religious beliefs. That’s the natural order of things in life, men lead and women follow. Conservatives are trying to restore the natural order of life after evil liberal progressive policies have devastated our sexual hierarchy.

    If they don’t do this then their dicks will shrink to the point that their mistresses won’t be able to find them!

  29. 29
    JoyceH says:

    You know, I can’t get over the extraordinary lack of political sophistication of the Romney campaign. I would have thought they would realize by now that everything they say has a dual audience, the audience that is actually there in front of them and the national audience who will hear their words later, and that getting a positive reaction from their local audience isn’t always a sign that they’re doing the right thing, because the folks who will get in the car and go to a rally are their BASE. And what the base cheers could be something that really turns off the undecided voters. Geez, remember the base’s euphoric frenzy at the Palin rallies in ’08? And remember how the mainstream voters were turned off by the knuckle-dragging racists they saw on TV going to those Palin rallies?

    Anyway, I love that Ryan is mocking the war on women; I was worried that Romney might be able to pretend to be a moderate long enough to repair the gender gap, but after the debate and now this, I suspect that gap is wide open and bleeding again.

  30. 30
    opie_jeanne says:

    @freelancer: Wait, Ryan is a wife beater? How did I miss that?

  31. 31

    I suspect that gap is wide open and bleeding again.

    I sure hope so. The “non-rich women who vote Republican” demographic is as puzzling to me as gay/lesbian Republicans.

    I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman, but I feel that if I were, I’d never vote for Republicans. Policies aside for the moment, I just don’t like the way they talk about women. It’s that combination of condescending and limiting language. It grates.

  32. 32
    Batocchio says:

    As a left-handed Irishman fond of women, I object to Paul Ryan’s statement, and strongly support making an ad based on it.

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Valdivia: My Cuban coworker said that the rules change is window dressing that doesn’t change much.

    His father still lives in Cuba.

  35. 35
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Ryan’s too cheap to have a mistress, and if Romney had ever messed around you know there’d be one bitter, pissed off woman waiting to tell all at just the right moment.

    I think money excites Romney the way sex excites other men.

  36. 36
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Another Halocene Human:

    So Rmoney masturbates by wrapping a Franklin around it first? Makes sense to me. I believe Ryan whacks off by repeatedly slamming the book of Atlas Shrugged into his groin three or four times.

    He looks like the type who rushes to the finish line and later brags about how little time it took him.

  37. 37
    Valdivia says:

    @Another Halocene Human:
    interesting, I heard from a number of cubans it was pretty significant. I guess we will know as time passes.

  38. 38
    brettvk says:

    @Yutsano: @Yutsano: Your posts conjured the opening scenes of a movie comedy for me: the reverse Mariel boatlift. I hope someone’s writing the script. Maybe they can work Noonan’s magic dolphins into it.

  39. 39
    Lojasmo says:

    @opie_jeanne:

    @freelancer: Wait, Ryan is a wife beater? How did I miss that?

    As we should all know, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  40. 40
    Steve says:

    @freelancer: By the way, of the 39% of women who say abortion is the most important issue, any guess at how many of them are pro-choice?

  41. 41
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @freelancer: But haven’t polls showed that President Obama’s lead among women has been erased?

  42. 42
    Snarki, child of Loki says:

    because Paul Ryan isn’t fucking funny and I’ll tell you why.

    Sure, Paul Ryan is funny.

    Just not “funny ha ha”

  43. 43
    rikyrah says:

    he’s a GENERAL in the GOP WAR ON WOMEN
    and women would be wise not to forget that.

  44. 44
    Dice says:

    I wish we could go back to when Wisconsin was typified by Elsie the Cow & her mate Elmer and not the unholy trinity of Scott Walker, Ron Johnson, and Paul Ryan.

    Ryan is not funny, Imani; you got that absolutely right. Attempting to buy the U.S government really doesn’t tickle my funny-bone.

Comments are closed.