Ryan Can Only Be Failed

We all know that there can be no appearance of bias in the objective media, and since Paul Ryan’s wonk rep took a big hit this week, the Post must run a story telling us how Ryan is still going to be a power in DC no matter what happens next month. But the retroactive soft bigotry of low expectations is reaching a new low:

“If you’re 42 and it’s your first national appearance in that kind of situation and you’re still on the stage when it’s over, you won,” said former House speaker Newt Gingrich. “I thought he was gaining confidence as the evening wore on.”

A week ago, Paul Ryan was going to crush doddering gaffe monster Joe Biden with his wonky Powerpoint sensibility. A week later, they’re happy that Martha Raddatz’ feet didn’t get wet in a spreading pool of urine from the delicate young man.

57 replies
  1. 1
    Joey Maloney says:

    A week ago, Paul Ryan was going to crush doddering gaffe monster Joe Biden with his wonky Powerpoint sensibility. A week later, they’re happy that Martha Raddatz’ feet didn’t get wet in a spreading pool of urine from the delicate young man.


  2. 2
    MattF says:

    At age 42, it’s all just youthful misadventures. When you’re older and wiser, you’ll get to be like Noot.

  3. 3
    Strandedvandal says:

    They are assuming there is a future for the GOP as it currently exists.

  4. 4

    Look, this whole thing is just so simple:

    There is absolutely nothing which Romney or Ryan have said which is a new idea. Nothing. Every idea they’ve presented is the exact same stuff we heard from George W. Bush. Every idea has been tried, and it failed. There’s nothing new here. We’ve done their thing, it didn’t work, it created a mess, and now we need to pull out of it.

    Any legit complaints people have about Obama boil down to “he didn’t fix it FAST enough.” But for fuck’s sake, at least shit is moving in the right direction. The Romney/Ryan ideas are the stuff that CAUSED the problem.

    This just can’t be stated often enough. It’s not rocket science.

  5. 5
    amk says:

    so wapo has to reach the bottom of the scums barrel to dig out noot to suck that dick ?

    Your last graf. Hilarious.

  6. 6
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    Newt is such an insufferable ass. The fact that the WaPo called him for comment is just evidence that they knew he’d say something dripping in grandiose delusions and irony. They got a quote from a polititroll. Might as well have called Limbaugh.

  7. 7
    Hill Dweller says:

    Gingrich, a lazy wannabe intellectual, praises another wannabe intellectual. Both are complete frauds.

  8. 8
    amk says:

    @Southern Beale:

    Philadelphia Enquirer in its resounding endorsement of that kenyna muslin and the resolute evisceration of the mittbot and the teabagging thugs in congress.

    The GOP would prefer the nation repeat history rather than remember it

  9. 9
    Amir Khalid says:

    So it still looks like Eddie Haskellmunster won’t get to be Vice-President. But what about his House seat? Will he get to stay in DC as a Representative? How is he doing in the polls there?

  10. 10
    BGinCHI says:

    Newt is like a fluffer who could never break into serious pr0n.

  11. 11
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    The last I heard, Ryan had a Democratic opponent for the House seat that was giving him real competition. However, I haven’t seen anything for almost three weeks and don’t know the current situation.

  12. 12
    Kool Earl says:

    This fellatio was also on the front page of this mornings Philadelphia Sunday Inquirer.

  13. 13
    Linda Featheringill says:

    The Gingrich statement wasn’t a true compliment. What Newt said was that they sent a boy out to do a man’s job.

    Not a bad analysis, IMHO.

  14. 14
    RSA says:

    Newt probably also thinks that because Romney didn’t actually declare war on the UK during his visit there, that counts as a win.

  15. 15
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Rob Zerban is running against him. Each campaign released competing polls last month. Paulie Haskellmunster’s was predictably waaaay in his favor while Zerban’s showed him “just” 7-8 points behind.

    Great piece by Charlie Pierce on Zerban:

  16. 16
    BGinCHI says:

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: Zerban is a great candidate, but that district is really red. He’s been raising solid money and working hard but I think it’s going to take something special for him to pull it out.

  17. 17
    Mark S. says:

    I learned the truth
    At forty-two

  18. 18
    Davis X. Machina says:

    (Let’s see if this posts. I had something longer, but even on third try. WP no like. I can’t figure out why, either…)

  19. 19
    Hal says:

    Whaa???? hahahaha

    Under stress, he’s very calm,” said Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, a friend and ally who wept when Ryan delivered his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa.

  20. 20
    BGinCHI says:

    @Mark S.: As sung by Anthony Newley.

  21. 21
    Violet says:

    Is that photo really a young Paul Ryan? Where did that come from?

  22. 22
    g says:

    “If…you’re still on the stage when it’s over, you won,”

    He won because he didn’t run away? Wow. Just wow.

  23. 23
    BGinCHI says:

    @Hal: wept = masturbated

    They’re Republicans, remember.

  24. 24
    Suffern ACE says:

    @BGinCHI: yeah. That’s about right. Those SE Wisconsin districts are set up for voters who don’t want their tax dollars going to Milwaukee. If milwaukee were a republican stronghold, those districts would vote democrat. It’s not a difficult state to gerrymander.

  25. 25
    gogol's wife says:


    Yes, I was wondering what that was. It looks like an after-school special or something.

  26. 26
    mistermix says:

    @Violet: It’s from the movie Magnolia, and it shows a nervous kid on stage (there’s more but I don’t want to spoil it.)

  27. 27
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @Hal: Inquiring minds want to know if the crying was on the level of what Orange Julius demonstrates on a regular basis.

  28. 28
    Violet says:

    @mistermix: Ah, thanks. I saw Magnolia, but don’t remember much about it except the music and it had Tom Cruise.

  29. 29
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    Actually you should use the kid from The Omen or The Omen II
    Paul Ryan, the perfect Republican Damien Thorne.

  30. 30
    Todd says:

    Screw politics. I’m watching this dude get ready to skydive in space.

    Livestream is on mashable.com.

  31. 31
    Mark S. says:


    Oh, I thought it was Malachi from Children of the Corn.

  32. 32
    karen marie says:

    @Amir Khalid: It’s a very safe Republican district. It’s a longshot that he’ll lose the seat.

  33. 33
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Linda Featheringill: Rob Zerban? How are you not on his mailling list? I get more email from him than I do from Obama. I don’t know what list he got, probably the Walker recall I gave to. Zerban who grew up working class, went to school on loans and grants who built two small business, employs a few dozen people, less than fifty, IIRC. I mention all that because he has what I consider to be a killer line that I guess isn’t getting much traction “I’m what Paul Ryan pretends to be”.

    @karen marie: I thin his district historically has a slight Dem lean, but he’s very popular as a nice and earnest young man with an attractive young family, and thanks to the very large family construction company, Ryan is part of what Edith Wharton called a “well known family”, so I suspect he benefits from that weird American desire to live in an aristocracy.

  34. 34
    GregB says:

    It was “morning in America” in 1984 when unemployment hit 7.4 percent.

    Now it is 10 ’till midnight with Obama as President and the unemployment level is 7.8.

    That .4 percent is the worst apocalypse ever.


  35. 35
    Birthmarker says:

    @Mark S.: Ha!!

    In college I learned that Gingrich’s quote is what is called damning with faint praise.

  36. 36
    BGinCHI says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Zerban emails me more than all my friends put together. I feel like we’re having a mild bromance.

  37. 37
    John PM says:

    @amk: Nice endorsement!

  38. 38
    Ash Can says:

    @Linda Featheringill: I got the same impression. A very backhanded compliment if you ask me.

    @Violet: That kid is way too cute to be a young Paul Ryan.

  39. 39
    Violet says:

    @Ash Can: I thought he might have been on some after school special in his local TV market or something. It is a cute kid, but some cute kids grow up ugly. Personality has a lot to do with it.

  40. 40
    amk says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    “I’m what Paul Ryan pretends to be”.

    Now that’s what you call a zinger.

  41. 41
    blingee says:

    @Southern Beale: That’s a nice summary. In fact I could imagine Obama saying this as his closing statement verbatim. However, I’m not going to be one of these people who thinks they know what to do better than Obama. He’s got this!

  42. 42
    shortstop says:

    Cook has Wisconsin’s 1st as only R+2.

  43. 43
    brashieel says:

    I get that the average age in Congress has been creeping upwards for awhile now, and that the American demographic as a whole is skewing older… but 42 is young? Young enough that people can trot out the “he’s just a kid” excuse for bad performance?

    Paul Ryan is middle aged. He’s been in government his whole career. I don’t see him getting much better at this.

  44. 44
    jwb says:

    Funny, but unlike Gingrich I thought Ryan got worse as the debate went on. I watched the debate with the sound off, followed content through twitter and the live blogging here. There were two moments—once about half way through, another right near the end—when Ryan’s body language came close to completely melting down. I also thought his closing statement looked like he was delivering a memorized boiler plate speech. Biden’s closing statement on the other hand seemed to be primarily improvised for the moment. Whatever Biden said consequently looked very much like it came from the heart, whereas Ryan looked like he was pitching the latest Acme product for a TV spot.

  45. 45
    jwb says:

    @Linda Featheringill: The district has a very strong GOP lean, so it would take something remarkable for Ryan to lose. On the other hand, Ryan, at least a couple of weeks ago, was sufficiently nervous about it that he was running ads and doing more campaigning in district than I’m sure the Romney team would like.

  46. 46
    kay says:

    I thought the memorized names of places in Afghanistan was really transparent trickery.

    I also thought the explanation of fighting season was clearly running out the clock on the question, by offering an explanation on the one definition he knows. I see that a lot in my work. People reach for that when they’re drowning. He knows he has to offer something specific in the ballpark of the subject, so he defined a term. He was stalling.

    He just wasn’t persuasive as a knowlegable person, ideology aside. He hasn’t thought about the practical effects of the things he believes.

  47. 47
    Cacti says:


    I get that the average age in Congress has been creeping upwards for awhile now, and that the American demographic as a whole is skewing older… but 42 is young?

    I’ve wondered about that too. 42 in the working world is considered mid-career. Chronologically, it’s considered early middle age.

    Ryan can’t be considered “young” in terms of electoral experience either. He’s in his 7th term as a Congressman.

    I guess “young” means “not visibly gray”.

  48. 48
    kay says:

    I think the scariest part was the sense you got that he just swallows these beliefs whole. Dan Senor told him Obama was vulnerable on troop levels so he repeated that. He never thought it thru. He was speechless when Bidden came back with “we’re replacing US with Afghan”.

    He comes off as younger than 42. Sheltered, in some crucial way.

  49. 49
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:


    He comes off as younger than 42. Sheltered, in some crucial way.

    From birth, really. From what I understand, he grew up in solidly upper middle class comfort, went to college and almost immediately became a protégé/golden boy of the Republican Party and wingnut welfare system. In the world of Showbiz for Ugly (and old) People, he’s a handsome and appealing face to explain Randian economics, and he came to The Village just as the generation of reporters/pundits who understood and I think more or less believed in The New Deal were fading (Sam Donaldson, Jack Germond, Mary McGrory all come to mind) and replaced by people a lot like Paul Ryan– David Gregory and Luke Russert, for example, I’d bet a kidney they both think VoucherCare is overly generous and SS privatization would introduce good moral hazardy prudence to the working class (Not that I’m confident Luke Russert could formulate that opinion, but I’m sure he nod smugly as David Gregory explained it over 19th hole beers).

  50. 50
    dark patriot says:

    I also am a frequent recipient of emails from Rob Zerban. ive been donating money to him for a while now and have donated more to him than anybody else even though he is half a country away. i had a good talk with the young lady who called me on his behalf a few weeks ago which sold me on him even more.

    that said if i hear the $716 billion cut from medicare bs line one more time either my head is going to explode or im going to hurt someone. McMahon has been using that line in her fight against Murphy here in CT. i was about to call her office last week and ream someone a new one about that blatant lie.

  51. 51
    MoZeu says:

    I must be the only person here who sorta agrees with the Nootster. If Joe Biden had ripped into me that hard in front of all those people, I’d have pooped my pants. Ryan did not poop his pants (that I know of); ergo, he did pretty good!

  52. 52
    Nutella says:


    Even time is different for Republicans. Ryan at 42 is a young, untried, earnest fellow just trying to do the best he can. Henry Hyde at 41-45 was just a young, untried, foolish fellow participating in a ‘youthful indiscretion’ when he had that affair with a married staffer.

    (But I am very pleased to see that the first Google response for ‘youthful indiscretion’ is Hyde’s wikipedia page.)

  53. 53
    Johnny B. Good says:

    Assuming Ryan is still in the Congress after this election, let’s be clear. His prospects for national office are likely over. To the best of my knowledge, no losing Vice Presidential candidate for one of the two major parties has ever become President of the United States. Never. Good riddance, Ryan.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    El Cid says:

    Fuck. Like 42 is some sort of naive state for a politician purporting to lead the nation (whether by ‘revolutionary’ Congressional leadership or the VP slot) to be in.

    Fuck this lying little pretentious douchebag and the media lapdogs happily inhabiting their horsey costume he rode in on.

  56. 56
    RaflW says:

    I still don’t understand why most members of the pres don’t look at Paul Ryan and just point and laugh.

  57. 57
    RaflW says:

    I still don’t understand why most members of the pres don’t look at Paul Ryan and just point and laugh.

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