Why do bottles of tonic water always explode when you open them, even when they have been sitting for three days? No other carbonated beverage does that.
John +2 and wearing a wet t-shirt
This post is in: Clown Shoes
Why do bottles of tonic water always explode when you open them, even when they have been sitting for three days? No other carbonated beverage does that.
John +2 and wearing a wet t-shirt
Comments are closed.
Cervantes
Do you find that they “explode” regardless of temperature?
Higgs Boson's Mate
Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix!
redshirt
Thirsty Thursday claims another victim.
OC
What are you drinking tonight?
Baud
I blame Obama.
Pooh
Where was Tunch during all this?
hhex65
You just gotta keep your mouth over the top when you open it.
RedKitten
You are SUCH a tease!
Eric S
@Pooh:
Where ever Tunch was he now hiding from the tonic water volcano.
redshirt
Carbonation is of the Devil, I say!
Baud
If you had said this
I would have forgiven you for the slow servers.
Pooh
@Eric S: I’m just saying, I wonder if the bottles were really “just sitting” on the counter, or if kitteh haz been shopping.
Corner Stone
I disagree. I think Obama executed his debate strategy very well and made..sure to…
Oh, wait.
trollhattan
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Envision OOF man in soggy striped (horizontal) shirt with hand extended towards camera, being stalked by large white thing.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@redshirt:
When I was drinking I always regarded mixed drinks as the Devil’s Vise Grips. Take it straight and pass out like a man. Of course, that may be why I finally gave it up.
MobiusKlein
Temperature.
Spatula
@Corner Stone:
Racist.
Yutsano
@RedKitten: Heh. Down killer.
PS how goes the gestation of the SiblingKitteh?
Corner Stone
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Your newsletter? I would like to subscribe.
PsiFighter37
It’s been a long time since Cole posted with a +(drink number). Welcome back, old friend.
Also, too, wet t-shirt pics FTW. Just sayin’.
Corner Stone
@Spatula: And a hearty racist to you good sir! We’re having beautiful weather in the Greater Houston Metrosexual Area.
Pooh
It would be irresponsible not to speculate on what John looks like in a wet T-shirt.
Spatula
Also too: Several people told Cole to ask me to produce an Obama portrait. Already done: Obama by Tim Otte
Lavocat
It’s the quinine. Quinine fucking HATES you. It’ll fuck your shit up!
Corner Stone
@PsiFighter37: Aren’t you forgetting something?
Corner Stone
@Pooh: Have you ever made Papier-mâché volcanoes?
BGinCHI
Worst. Wet. T-shirt. Contest. Ever.
JenJen
Mmmmmm. What kind of gin? And have you ever tried a gin and tonic with a Key Lime garnish? HEAVEN.
Punchy
But are you wearing her wet t-shirt?
RedKitten
@Yutsano: Pretty good. I’m feeling well (other than this awful cold right now). ‘Tis frustrating being on such a limited diet, though. I have glucose intolerance, which seems to be rapidly transitioning to full-blown gestational diabetes. So not only do I have to avoid all the regular stuff that pregnant women have to avoid, but I also have to basically eat like I’m on Atkins. I’m French, for fuck’s sake! I need bread!
But that’s the only frustration. Other than that, everything is peachy, and SiblingKitten is happily thumping away in my belly as we speak.
abo gato
John, would you like some home made, craft tonic? I’ve been making it lately and let me tell you, it will kick your ass with the taste. It is not carbonated, so you add a tablespoon or so of the craft tonic, you then add club soda. I use one of those Soda Stream things to make carbonated water and it is really, really good.
If you want some, send me an email and I will send you a bottle.
BigG
This always happens to me too, so I couldn’t resist trying to
look this up. Also, I’ve noticed that bubbles continue nucleating long after the initial opening, compared to other carbonated beverages. Sounds like they just pack an extra amount of gas in it.
http://www.ehow.com/how_7745465_open-bottle-tonic-overflow.html
I’m trying to understand bubbles, which some say is my excuse to make gin and tonics for observation purposes.
Valdivia
That is a very vivid picture you paint John. I drink diet tonic water (my new addiction) and that never happens to me. hmmm.
Pooh
@Corner Stone: Do mentos and coke count?
BGinCHI
@abo gato: Um, can you hook some other brothers up?
I’d be really curious how you make it. I’ve been close to making bitters lately but I didn’t think of tonic.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Spatula:
You’re a very talented young man.
Violet
@Spatula: That’s a great portrait. He looks so young!
Because tonic water is the best mixer in the world and it can’t wait to jump into that glass so you can have a gin and tonic, the best drink in the world.
redshirt
I can’t burp. I’ve burped maybe 6 times my entire life (that I can recall – perhaps my baby years were different), and each was a miraculous accident.
And so, I mean it: Carbonation is of the Devil. I swell up, ready to explode.
One of the reasons I gave up soda many many years ago.
burnspbesq
Tunch, using a Klingon cloaking device, snuck past you and shook the bottle.
Corner Stone
@redshirt: Jeebus. You poor son of a bitch.
Anya
@Spatula: asshole
WereBear
Are you impatient opening the tonic bottle, n’est–ce pas?
You have to crack the seal and then close it up again while the bubbles throw a tantrum, then slooooooooowly open it for reals.
TOP123
Answer: What Cervantes said @1
Personal Recommendation: Q Tonic–fine carbonation, natural quinine, and agave instead of sugar. Brilliant. Very addictive. Or maybe that’s the gin.
Personal Request: What BGinCHI said @35! Details, abo gato, please!
BGinCHI
@TOP123: I like that stuff too but damn it’s pricey.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@WereBear: what the bear said.
Gin or vodka or something else?
redshirt
@Corner Stone: Oh, it’s not all bad. I can fart symphonies! :)
Anoniminous
New non-alcoholic drink of choice in the Anoniminous household:
1. Fill a glass half full of club soda
2. Put 8 to 10 dashes of bitters, we tend to put angostura but cherry, orange, and lemon work too
3. Fill glass with as much ice as possible
4. Top off with more club soda
scav
@TOP123: Ditto, plus @BGinCHI‘s bitters. We can have an early pick-up recipe exchange right here.
Concerned Citizen
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Agreed. Where’s the proof?
jibeaux
Seltzer water does this too. I don’t think it’s the quinine.
Violet
@TOP123: Can’t do agave except in very small doses. I prefer real sugar. If not that, then maple syrup or honey. Anything else upsets my stomach.
RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist
Because they hate our freedoms. And they hate our way of life.
Baud
@RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist:
That’s why I only drink Freedom Water.
SRW1
My guess would be that it’s the +2. At least if that condition applied while opening the tonic bottle.
Just Some Fuckhead
John, did it happen in slow motion causing your surprised look to turn to pleasure as you splashed the remainder all over your ample chest, while the Cars loudly rocked the place and your friends circled you and began dancing frenetically?
That always happens to me when I’m drinking tonic water.
RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist
I don’t generally like carbonated drinks. If they’re too fizzy I slosh them until the bubbles dissipate.
When I was in Mexico I got ‘surprised’ by several Cokes. This was safe to drink so I ordered it in the bottle. Very explosively fizzy. Now that I think of it Mexico City’s elevation might have had something to do with it. Anyway, it washed out.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Rachel Maddow is doing a fucking killer segment of all first debates of incumbent presidents getting creamed since 1976. Good times. And I still don’t think Obama did all that bad last night.
Yutsano
@RedKitten: First breakfast after kidlet is born: pain chocolat. I’ll even hand deliver it if I have to!
Comrade Mary
Could be worse, John. You could be this girl. (Explanation.)
TOP123
@scav: Oh, Amen! I’m in, though my best drink recipe is for a Martini… and it’s pretty simple! ;)
@BGinCHI: gulp, don’t I know it. Their point on the package is valid though; why put shite tonic with your expensive gin? Still, it’s a pricey habit…
@Violet: haven’t heard about that. I have no feelings about agave one way or the other, but the nice thing is this tonic is not at all sweet. That’s the key point for me. Wonder if one could make a cane sugar version. I feel like maple syrup would be too intense. Have you tried Fever Tree? Sweeter than Q, but a good tonic with noticeable quinine bitterness, and made with cane sugar,
I believeaccording to the empty bottle right here in my recycling pile. Slightly less ridiculously expensive than Q, as well.trollhattan
@abo gato:
Ooh, me likie concept.
For barmanship cred, I planted a lime tree specifically for G&T season. Tree now produces like crazy, but the fruit isn’t usable until August, months into G&T season. Darn you, nature! [shakes fist]
Trader Joes sometimes stocks oddball and delicious tonic. For awhile they carried a brand from New Zealand, doesn’t get much more obscure than that.
virginia
The Kipling anti-malarial effect, John Cole. Quinine, baby. Blew it out then, blows it now.
Much as you should be doing this election season.
Where on earth are you?
virginia
Crack me up … Thanks for a good laugh.
RedKitten
@Yutsano: Oh yes. We will definitely be hitting the Tim Horton’s drive-through on our way home from the hospital, to pick up a bunch of donuts and chocolate croissants. All washed down with a ginormous glass of milk (another thing I’ve had to cut down due to all the sugar in it.)
Concerned Citizen
I would like an expose on Spatula. I read this site, but not closely enough. I am reading accusations of him being an asshole (back to the Dead portrait post from Cole, and this post) and he calls someone a racist for no reason.
Why is this? Anyone got good past links to catch up?
Spatula, the art is great, but you’ll get more bees with honey than by being a dick.
SRW1
It’s a bit like a dog you inadvertently lock out: if the CO2 has to spend a long time with nothing but water, it just can’t contain itself when the ordeal finally comes to an end.
BGinCHI
@RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist: Mexican Coke is awesome. It’s made with cane sugar instead of HFCS. Comes in glass bottles. Check your labels. We get it readily around the city (Mexican Pepsi too).
Comrade Mary
@RedKitten: Drive through on the way home? Honey, family should be bringing The Full Timmy to you once the cord is clamped.
PeakVT
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Easy, killer. You just might get what you’re asking for.
Monkus
Kombucha
RedKitten
@Comrade Mary: Good point. I hadn’t thought of that. And yes, that WOULD be lovely!
Yutsano
@RedKitten: WOO-HOO!! Yay Timmy’s! I wonder what kind of looks I’d get from the border guards if I said my rerason for visiting Vancouver was a Timmy’s run.
trollhattan
@BGinCHI:
Swear to bog, Costco carries it here. Not terribly interested myself, but it has quite a following.
BGinCHI
@trollhattan: Wow. I’ll check next time I’m there.
Costco here carries cases of the Mexican Coke I mentioned above. We don’t drink much soda, but in summer after exercise it’s damn nice.
TOP123
@BGinCHI: Seconded… and in Atlanta you can sample them all!
Still have the bottle from a Coke Olympics edition that I bought in Japan; the series had the flags of various participating nations on it–in this case, North Korea…
eemom
Club soda does it too.
Also too, is it SUNDAY already? (Yes I AM going to say that on every one of the eleventy billion posts Cole posterates between now and Sunday, after promising that he’ll be too busy making potato salad for the entire population of West Virginia to talk to us until then.)
BGinCHI
@TOP123: I like Jarritos a lot too. Also cane sugar. And so many good flavors.
RedKitten
@Yutsano: They’d probably sympathize and welcome you quite nicely.
ranchandsyrup
Always open bottles of tonic slowly. Crack the cap a.bit, wait and then ease the cap off. I go for cans to avoid the eruption if I can find them.
TOP123
@BGinCHI: I’ve seen, never had, I’m ashamed to admit. Will correct that as soon as possible.
I certainly hope you’ve had the great Moxie?
kindness
What kind of Gin you drinking John?
ranchandsyrup
@BGinCHI: I have a jarrito a day and no other soda. Today, mandarin orange. Glad they’re easy to find these days. Occasionally one “Mexican” coke. That’s how they advertise them here.
abo gato
BGinCHI and trollhattan I used this recipe:
http://www.jeffreymorgenthaler.com/2008/how-to-make-your-own-tonic-water/
I had to order the cinchona bark from someplace online, but it is easy to make, and oh, oh so good. Also, there is a LOT of straining involved to get it to where it is not a sludge, thanks to that cinchona bark powder.
Violet
@TOP123: Haven’t tried any of those. Will look into them. Thanks for the recommendation.
22over7
Not only does it asplode all over the damn place, it also loses its fizz within a nanosecond upon opening. Too bad I love the gin and tonic so much.
How come Cole, the depressed misanthrope, always seems to be having more fun than anyone I know?
Central Planning
@abo gato: Got any references for how to make your own tonic? Web sites? Reputable distributors?
Thanks!
Central Planning
@Violet: Mmmm. Maple syrup…. We’ve tapped a couple of the maple trees in our yard. I would say each year we get close to a gallon of syrup after boiling it down, either on the stove or on the gas grill outside (connected to the house natural gas).
Homemade maple syrup tastes better than any other kind of maple syrup.
Central Planning
@TOP123:
Anyone else think the North Korean flag looks like the Pepsi logo?
Yutsano
@BGinCHI:Jarritos are da shiznit. It’s one of the advantages of living in an ag state.
@RedKitten: I’ve been interviewed by Canadian border guards before. I actually made the guy laugh cause I was so not a threat.
TOP123
@Central Planning: Try this–first had sitting with my brother in the sugar house on his farm on a chilly evening watching the sap boil over the arc and stoking the fire: take Ball jars, reasonably clean. Pour with one measure (however measured is up to you) good whisk(e)y. Top with ladle of syrup just off the boil. Enjoy.
TOP123
@Central Planning: More the ROK flag, I think? With the Taeguk?
jiminpdx
Simple solution: twist the cap slowly until the seal breaks and let the pressure release. There’ll be some fizz but not explosive. When the fizz subsides, finish twisting off the cap. Cheers!
SiubhanDuinne
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: You know any pix he posts will have his hands hiding his hard perky nipples. Ask ABL if you don’t believe me.
trollhattan
@abo gato:
Right on, thanks!
Let’s see: lime tree, check; tonic recipe, check; eyes bathtub.
clayton
@SiubhanDuinne: Hi raven.
SiubhanDuinne
@redshirt:
Why so can I, or so can any man;
But will they toot if you do fart for them?
TOP123
@abo gato: Thanks! Pretty excited about this.
The Other Chuck
@Yutsano: Most flavors of jarritos are pure yum, but the tamarind flavor … ugh. liquid shit. And I like tamarinds.
SiubhanDuinne
@clayton:
Raven? Moi? Mais non!
ImpureScience
Anther contender for the title of most explosive soft drink: Manhattan Special, marvelous espresso soda but produces torrents of foam no matter the temperature or how long it has been sitting…
clayton
@SiubhanDuinne: Liar.
Odie Hugh Manatee
You were supposed to have the wet t-shirt contest when Imani and Heather were over!
Timing, it’s everything. ;p
Central Planning
@TOP123: “reasonably clean”. Heh. That sounds great. I know I’ll remember that in February.
@TOP123:
You’re right, my bad! That’s what I get for posting late.
W. Kiernan
Not so! See if you can find a bottle of Manhattan Special coffee soda. It tastes great, but DO NOT open a bottle of it over your lap while driving your car. Foams up and overflows like a bottle of champagne.
RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist
Mexican Coke tastes just like Kosher Coke to me. We get the latter in the local stores because of the large Orthodox population. HFCS tastes sour and stale by comparison. And the bubbles are different.
josephdietrich
Apfelschorle. 60/40 apple juice/sparkling water mix. Try it, you’ll like it.