Paul Ryan Calls Mitt Romney ‘The Stench’

Oh snap.

20120925-195210.jpgPoor Paul Ryan of the Serious Budget Ryans knows that he hitched his wagon to a burnt out star. (“Burnt out” is too kind, actually, since Mitt Romney was never a star in the first place.)

Paul Ryan knows he is screwed — so much so that he is calling Mitt Romney “The Stench”, in front of God and errrrybody:

Paul Ryan has gone rogue. He is unleashed, unchained, off the hook.
“I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Romney off of him,” Craig Robinson, a former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa, told The New York Times on Sunday.

Coming from a resident of Iowa, a state where people are polite even to soybeans, this was a powerful condemnation of the Republican nominee.

Though Ryan had already decided to distance himself from the floundering Romney campaign, he now feels totally uninhibited. Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”

Hilarious though it may be, Paul Ryan is living in a glass house and throwing stones. Just this weekend, Paul Ryan got booed by a bunch of old folks when he promised to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Stones and broken glass notwithstanding, the wheels have come off the Romney campaign — so much so that Paul Ryan is throwing forests full of shade on Mitt3PO.

It’s a goddamn Mittastrophe.

[via Politico]

[cross-posted at ABLC]

133 replies
  1. 1
    General Stuck says:

    It’s a goddamn Mittastrophe

    Yup, it is. The type of high grade national embarrassment I would have expected if any of the other whack jobs running had gotten the nomination. I didn’t think Romney was this incompetent as a candidate. And now he picked the ambitious blue eyed upstart to feed him his liver in small bites the next 42 days. At least Palin wore fashionable swimwear around the cement pond.

  2. 2
    gnomedad says:

    I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.

    Not brains?

  3. 3
    Delia says:

    Well, this is really sad for Paul Ryan and all, and I’d cry if I cared, but calling your senior partner bad names when your dreams turn to crap just isn’t classy. If Paulie wanted to come out of this debacle looking like a grown-up, he should have done some research into how grown-ups act.

    Oh, I forgot. He’s a gooper.

  4. 4
    lamh35 says:

    I saw this tweeted earlier by Roger Simon this afternoon, but since I refuse to actually read Politico if I can help it, I re-tweeted it, but I never made it past the headline. I just realized by watching Lawrence O’Donnell that “the Stench” actually referred to Mitt and not just a nickname given by some anonymous person.

    Wow, just wow.

    It certainly explains the expression on Ryan’s face when Mitt said that Obama “didn’t raise taxes” and it also makes me feel even sorrier, if that’s possible, for Romney when I saw this:

    Mitt Romney tries to lead a chant. Big mistake.

    Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too

    In Vandalia, Ohio, today, after Mitt Romney thanked running mate Paul Ryan for his stump speech, rally attendees instinctively began chanting “Ryan, Ryan,” as rally attendees are wont to do.
    Feeling left out, Romney demanded the crowd quit chanting wrong, and proceeded to demonstrate the correct way to chant at his rally.

    Wow, umm awkward!

    Isn’t it a bit early for Ryan to being “going rogue?”

  5. 5
    gnomedad says:

    @lamh35:

    Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too

    So “Ryan should have been the nominee” is going to be the official story?

  6. 6
    👽 Martin says:

    I tell my kids the reason to not swear or call people names behind their back is that sooner or later they’re going to slip and drop an f-bomb in math class. I like the odds of Ryan slipping ‘stench’ in the next 6 weeks. During the Biden debate would be 11 times awesome.

  7. 7
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    I think Ryan is done. He may have a few more terms as Janesville congress critter, but that pond’s gonna be too small. In the meantime. this

    Feeling left out, Romney demanded the crowd quit chanting wrong, and proceeded to demonstrate the correct way to chant at his rally.

    is so fucking funny I can’t quite believe it happened.
    ETA: I was totally gonna have the appropriate quote from Shakespeare, but I figured someone would have done it already.

  8. 8
    rb says:

    So this is that kind of satire where we pretend satire isn’t satire?

    I’m ok with that.

  9. 9
    LanceThruster says:

    @General Stuck:

    There’s a scene in I,Claudius that reminds me of the recent turn of events —

    Caligula: [Livia is on her deathbed] I hear you’re dying, great grandmother.

    Livia: You won’t forget your promise, will you?

    Caligula: To make you a goddess? And what makes you think that a filthy, smelly old woman like you could become a goddess? I don’t need you anymore, you see, great grandmother. My secret will die with you. You are going to stew in hell forever and ever. Let me tell you something: Thrasyllus has made another prophecy. Told Tiberius. He said, “One who is going to die soon will become the greatest god the world has ever known. No temples will be dedicated to anyone but him in the whole Roman world, not even to Augustus.” Do you know who that one is? Me. *Me*. I shall become the greatest god of all. And I shall look down on you suffering all the torments of hell, and I shall say, “Leave her there. Leave her there forever and ever and ever.”
    [he kisses her]

    Caligula: Goodbye, great grandmother.

  10. 10
    MaximusNYC says:

    I’m pretty sure that article is a joke, ABL. Or at least the quotes attributed to Ryan.

  11. 11
    👽 Martin says:

    @gnomedad: Syntax error! Syntax error! Press Control-Alt-Delete to reboot the crowd.

  12. 12
    earl of scruggs says:

    he’s kidding. it is satire. you just missed it, because Roger Simon always leaves the “humor” part out of his satire. Later, he refers to PowerPoint as a device originally invented to euthanize cattle. Hee hee. Ha.

  13. 13
    different-church-lady says:

    I think there’s a very good chance Simon made up Ryan’s “quotes”*. Check the exact language from the article:

    Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”

    “Reportedly”.

    And then there’s this passage later on down the line, pretty much giving away that the entire article is a work of snark:

    [Ryan] did a PowerPoint presentation for the crowd. (snip) A word about PowerPoint. PowerPoint was released by Microsoft in 1990 as a way to euthanize cattle using a method less cruel than hitting them over the head with iron mallets. After PETA successfully argued in court that PowerPoint actually was more cruel than iron mallets, the program was adopted by corporations for slide show presentations.

    *(yes, I just put the word quotes in quotes)

  14. 14
    rb says:

    @MaximusNYC: Gah, you’re spoiling the fun. Finger sandwiches with La Nooners, I’m telling you!

  15. 15
    Turgidson says:

    @MaximusNYC:

    I assume so too, but given how much of a dick Ryan can be to his own constituents or speech goers, it is possible that it isn’t a joke

  16. 16
    Svensker says:

    This IS a joke, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Help help I can’t figger out what’s real and what’s satire anymore. Help meeeeeeeee.

  17. 17
    rb says:

    On the plus side, the fact that those quotes are remotely plausible to anyone, no less poli junkies, can only be good news for the Kenyan Usurper and the forces of good generally.

  18. 18
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @different-church-lady:
    __
    Don’t forget this gem:
    __

    “Sources close to the Ryan campaign tell me his two new PowerPoint presentations will be: “How a Bill Becomes Law” and “Canada: Friendly Giant to the North.”

    __
    This is definitely snark. The politically deadly part isn’t that Romney and/or Ryan are actually saying any of these things. They aren’t. The deadly part is that even a right wing press outlet like Politico is now openly mocking them.

  19. 19
    Hill Dweller says:

    Like the Willard airplane window “joke”, Ryan calling him “stench” is actually believable. It might not be true, but no one would be surprised if it was true.

    Willard’s campaign is starting to become a punchline, which is devastating.

  20. 20
    different-church-lady says:

    @MaximusNYC: It’s a Politico article: it’s a joke whether Simon meant it to be or not.

    The giveaway is probably the “finger sandwiches” thing. If Ryan were actually capable of coming up with a line that funny I’d have more respect for him. But everything I’ve seen of him so far indicates he’s earnest to the point of being humorless, so I really doubt he can maneuver his wit as easily as his marathon times.

  21. 21
    lumpkin says:

    It’s just amazing that the press people think that showing a power point presentation is “going rogue”. Jeepers, we bore each other to death every day where I work with that shit.

  22. 22
    1badbaba3 says:

    @lamh35: No, just the other day Princess Dumbass of the Northwoods (or the Tundra Turd if you prefer) gave her blessing, encouraging both to go rogue. Looks like only one of them took her advice. If the stench of Rmoney Boo-Boo doesn’t sink him, then the knowledge that he actually listened to (let alone deciphered her word salad) la Paling should do the trick.

    I concur with a post in a previous thread; this is the most awesome election cycle I have ever witnessed. Just fucking awesome.

  23. 23
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Svensker: No it’s not you, it’s Republicans, they’re really terrible at satire, almost always.

    I decided it was a joke also but it was touch and go for a moment, not because it’s what you’d call “dry” humor, but more what you’d call “bad”.

    Edit:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    The deadly part is that even a right wing press outlet like Politico is now openly mocking them.

    This is really the point. How badly Romney has failed is already so accepted that they’re on to the “washing the stench off” jokes. And the election is more than a month away.

  24. 24
    SamInMpls says:

    “Iowa, a state where people are polite even to soybeans”

    HA!

  25. 25
    MikeJ says:

    @MaximusNYC: When the legend becomes fact print the legend.

  26. 26
    Suffern ACE says:

    If this is true, he’s worse than Palin. By a mile. Seriously. He may be less prepared for a campaign than Palin. He melts like a precious widdle snowflake on the national stage, and he has been on the national stage longer than she was. At least her selection brought a bounce.

    The only reason I am having trouble believing this story is because it is just such stupid behavior that I can’t believe a politician running for VP would be this awful. Only the fact that he is male has allowed this prima donna to get this far. Putting him in a position where he could take over for Romney is scary, actually.

    He could not handle pressure for 2 months. That’s pathetic.

  27. 27
    Dennis SGMM says:

    This is getting good. Normally, the symbolic leader of a party out of power is their last sitting president. Scratch that one. Next would be their last nominee. Scratch that. The 2016 Republican convention will be led by an animatronic Ronald Reagan.

  28. 28
    different-church-lady says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: I think we need to demand that ABL take this down, so we can all repeat the good laugh we had over how right we were about the secret Romney fundraiser video.

  29. 29
    rb says:

    @Svensker: The Ryan quotes are clearly made up.

    The general “campaign gone off the rails, through a housing development, and over a cliff” feel of the thing? Completely real.

  30. 30
    different-church-lady says:

    @1badbaba3:

    this is the most awesome election cycle I have ever witnessed. Just fucking awesome.

    It’s astonishing. You couldn’t write half of this stuff. I was saying to a friend last night, “Is Romney a lost character from Dickens? If you wrote him into a novel, people would go, ‘Naw, it’s not working, he’s too much of a cartoon.'”

  31. 31
    rb says:

    @Hill Dweller: It might not be true, but no one would be surprised if it was true.

    Exactly. Hell, Red State would think it was GREAT if it were true.

    I would too, of course.

  32. 32
    Brachiator says:

    And here I thought The Stench was an upcoming NBC reality show.

    I am not sure how accurate this stuff is, but that this kind of rumor is dogging Romney is not good for his campaign.

  33. 33
    Geoduck says:

    @Dennis SGMM:

    The 2016 Republican convention will be led by an animatronic Ronald Reagan.

    That’s actually better/less scary than the possibility they’ll go with Jeb Bush.

    EDIT: And I assume the article was humor; I genuinely laughed at the line about using PowerPoint to stun cattle.

  34. 34
    Redshift says:

    However, the “stench” quote from the Iowa Republican isn’t a joke. It really did appear in the recent NYT article about Ryan.

  35. 35
    Dennis SGMM says:

    Romney seems close to reaching a tipping point where the corporate cash folks will abandon him. That’s good in one sense, but if they start spending all that dough on down ticket races we may play hell trying to get a majority in either house of Congress.

  36. 36
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @rb:

    The general “campaign gone off the rails, through a housing development, and over a cliff” feel of the thing? Completely real.

    __
    I’m old enough to remember the 1972 campaign. The 2012 Romney campaign is 1972 McGovern levels of fucked up. It won’t produce a similar result because of the Southern Strategy which has locked up about 1/3 of the electoral college permanently in the GOPer camp, but the comedy level is right there. I wasn’t laughing in 1972, so it is nice to see that what goes around comes around.

  37. 37
    MikeJ says:

    Romney’s only chance is to let Vern Fonk do his commercials.

    Roll six deep in a four seat buggy
    wrapped up tight in a Paul Ryan Snuggie…

  38. 38
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @efgoldman: “I come here not to praise Mittens but to bury him in ridicule.”

  39. 39
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    I’m old enough to remember the 1972 campaign.

    Same here. When it came out that Thomas Eagleton had been treated with Edison Medicine for depression I knew that it was over.

  40. 40
    Roger Moore says:

    “Burnt out” is too kind, actually, since Mitt Romney was never a star in the first place.

    I believe the astronomically correct term for something like Mitt Romney is a brown dwarf. Not that Mitt or his ilk would want to be confused with a brown person.

  41. 41
    The Dangerman says:

    I’ve heard that the Stench story is bullshit, but Romney trying to lead a chant along with the crowd only chanting Ryan is choice. We’re beyond the looking glass with this “campaign”.

    As I posted earlier, strange shit going on these days; I mean, there could be a Detroit Tiger that wins a Triple Crown (for the non-sports folks, that hasn’t happened since 1967; perhaps the only thing more rare is batting .400)…

    …and that person probably won’t be MVP (odds on is Mike Trout).

    I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue…

  42. 42
    General Stuck says:

    Perception is mostly more real than reality in political campaigns. In that vein of meaninglessness, I choose to believe the worst from Ryan, if for no other reason than his anointment to Jester God in the republican long house of lizard men.

    This shit is making me goofy so I am going to bed.

  43. 43
    Shlemizel says:

    If I may be Eyeore once again I’ll remind everyone that Bill Clinton gave the keynote at the 1988 DNC. It was dreadful and he was universally panned as a hillbilly from Arkansas who was finished on the national stage.

    Now, in truth WJC is brilliant. He took that drubbing, learned from it and blew the world away when he got his chance. rAyn is not that bright and probably incapable of self-examination or self-improvement. But always be careful what you wish for.

    But this is the most fun I have had with a Presidential election in my life. FSM must love us all very much!

  44. 44
    different-church-lady says:

    @rb:

    The general “campaign gone off the rails, through a housing development, and over a cliff” feel of the thing?

    1:04

  45. 45
    Another Halocene Human says:

    Apologies for the x-post.

    Can anyone tell me about this race?

    Aryanna Strader
    PA-16

    She’s not getting much love from Blue America ’12 or Act Blue in general and I’m wondering why that is.

  46. 46
    SatanicPanic says:

    I’m not sure I buy this. I mean this Ryan guy is a prick, but he’s got to be a little smarter than this.

  47. 47
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @The Dangerman: I’ve heard that the Stench story is bullshit, but Romney trying to lead a chant along with the crowd only chanting Ryan is choice. We’re beyond the looking glass with this “campaign”.
    Yup. Lawrence O’Donnell also presented this as factual reporting (at least that’s how I read it). It’s not gonna be good for Willard that reporters tomorrow are gonna be correcting each other as to whether the story that makes him look like an ass is too good to be true, or satire that isn’t clearly satirical enough. This is the kind of thing that in twenty years, biographers are going to have to say, “The stench story appears to be apocryphal, based on the actual comments of a state official…” Not good for Willard. It may not reach the average non-blog junkie, but already nervous GOP donors and hacks will know about it.

  48. 48
    JoyceH says:

    @Shlemizel:

    Bill Clinton gave the keynote at the 1988 DNC. It was dreadful

    But – was it, though? I know it’s become Historical Fact that his speech was dreadful — but the main thing I recall about it was that it was way too long and Clinton was entirely unknown. I recall a sort of ‘who does he think he is?’ tone in the critical coverage.

    At the 2012 convention, Clinton gave a big long speech and everyone listened with love and affection, even getting misty-eyed about The Big Dog running long ‘as we know he tends to do’. It might just have been that the 88 speech was ahead of his time and we didn’t know yet to listen to him.

  49. 49
    👽 Martin says:

    @MaximusNYC: Sorry, it’s Politico. Poe’s law applies.

  50. 50
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Shlemizel: Right but for every one of those stories there are dozens who seemed over in politics and in fact, were.

    That was also one awkward night for Clinton versus a long, extended failure for Ryan, plus Clinton was exposed as sort of long-winded whereas Ryan was exposed as a complete fraud.

    I do see your point though. I mean that seriously, you never know.

  51. 51
    YellowJournalism says:

    @MikeJ: the Romney campaign should be so lucky.

    Honk if you love Vern Fonk!

  52. 52
    danielx says:

    @1badbaba3:

    I’m sorta fond of Snowbilly Snooki myself.

    Mittastrophe. Best new word I’ve heard since the sixteen year old (at the time) daughter came up with naggravating.

  53. 53
    rb says:

    @different-church-lady: Wow. That’s a pretty awesome, albeit terrifying, barrel roll.

  54. 54
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I wonder if the press can goad Romney and Ryan to have a presser about the stench comments. “Did you call him a stench?” “What did you mean by that?” My week would actually be complete if Romney 4.0 relaunch week part 7 ended with the press debating whether or not stench and Romney were appropriate discussion topics.

  55. 55
    MikeJ says:

    @Another Halocene Human:Last Dem they had was in 1943 when a redistricting put one in. He lost. Before that a two termer won in 1912 and 1916 and lost in 1920.

  56. 56
    Ash Can says:

    I’m reading this after a small Gibson and a few beers, and, well, just…what…the…fuck? A story like this, and it’s not in The Onion? What…the…fuck???

  57. 57
    burnspbesq says:

    @Delia:

    Ryan is already playing for 2016. Distancing himself from Romney is the first step.

  58. 58
    danielx says:

    @different-church-lady:

    Ooh. Hurts to think about it.

  59. 59
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @👽 Martin: I had to google Poe’s Law, but yeah. We went through this two weeks ago or so with a Bobo column. He was trying to mock “liberal media’ coverage of Romney, and it came across as a vicious satire of Willard (IIRC). Also, too, the Clint Eastwood speech, from the clips I saw, if I hadn’t known where it was, I would’ve thought it was making fun of Romney, i.e. “you want me to tell Mitt to go what himself?”

  60. 60
    hilts says:

    Ann Romney is on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno right now.

  61. 61
    👽 Martin says:

    @efgoldman: Once again, the only reason anyone paid attention to Ryan’s shitty budget is because Obama built it up as a serious thing, and all the Villagers jumped right on, and then the idiot base cheered it as well, and there was no going back.

    Obama tried to pick his opponent, and it worked.

  62. 62
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @efgoldman:

    If he had jumped into the primaries this year, he likely would have made the same kind of ::splat:: as Rick Goodhair did.

    Only three sitting members of Congress have been elected president.
    James Garfield, serving as a Representative of Ohio was elected in 1880.
    Warren G. Harding was serving as Senator of Ohio when he was elected in 1920.
    John F. Kennedy was serving as Senator of Massachusetts when he was elected in 1960.

    Ryan doesn’t even measure up to Garfield. Considering the increasing steepness of the Republican crazy curve I doubt that Ryan will be will be a sufficiently gibbering idiot to Be competitive in 2016.

  63. 63
    Violet says:

    Here’s the early tell that it’s fake:

    Dan Senor, one of Romney’s closest advisers, has kept a tight grip on Ryan, traveling with him everywhere and making sure he hews to the directions of the Romney “brain trust” in Boston. (A brain trust, rumor has it, that refers to Ryan as “Gilligan.”)

    Gilligan. You know, like Mitt is Thurston Howell. Ha ha ha.

    I swear, the Republicans completely suck at satire. They write it so that it seems utterly plausible and not funny at all.

  64. 64
    hhex65 says:

    The guy from Love Story who invented the Internet says: Wow, they’re really crushing that dude.

  65. 65
    SatanicPanic says:

    @efgoldman: I suppose I shouldn’t be giving Ryan the benefit of the doubt here. He did join Mitt’s dumbass ticket, when pretty much anyone could have predicted it was going to go down in flames.

  66. 66
    shoutingattherain says:

    @Shlemizel:

    But this is the most fun I have had with a Presidential election in my life. FSM must love us all very much!

    I’m liking the part of this election where I know it’s making the people on the other side of the fence as miserable as it is making me happy. Does this make me a bad person?

  67. 67
    different-church-lady says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    …Romney 4.0 relaunch week part 7…

    Romney Campaign Reboots For 72nd Consecutive Week

  68. 68
    danielx says:

    @Violet:

    Hey, satire died the day they gave Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

    (Henry Kissinger the Nixon era Secretary of State who can’t visit many countries because of the threat of arrest for war crimes? Aye, the very same!)

  69. 69
    wrb says:

    Oh wow.

    I just drop in here and read this- direct from reading the Romney’s Boston brain trust is calling Ryan “Gilligan.”

    It’s all too much for me to take.

  70. 70
    SatanicPanic says:

    @shoutingattherain:

    Does this make me a bad person?

    If there’s hell below, we’re all gonna go

  71. 71
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Dennis SGMM: Ok. But if you count JFK in the senate, why not Obama?

  72. 72
    jl says:

    @Violet:

    I have no idea what that thing is, or what to believe and what not to about that article. Good news is I don’t give a damn one way or other.

    If it is a joke, SPaT does way better, and (if she is to be believed…. for reals!… and not writing in character) while drunk as a skunk.

  73. 73
    Narcissus says:

    @efgoldman: This is a slur on Cassius

  74. 74
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Oh is that what Brooks was doing?

    I read it once and couldn’t figure out why he was mocking Romney and then didn’t have any time to wonder or read comments about it.

    Republican writers are about as funny as your average CEO giving the obligatory “start with humor” opening to a speech. The moment you hear the throat clearing you want to duck under the table out of sheer pre-embarrassment.

  75. 75
    MikeJ says:

    @Another Halocene Human: To add to my previous, the incumbent Repub won 65-35. Don’t expect the DCCC to dump a lot in that one.

  76. 76
    Calouste says:

    @Dennis SGMM:

    There was this dude who was elected as President who was in Congress, a Senator I think. Not so long ago, fairly unusual name… can’t remember, can somebody help me out?

  77. 77
    1badbaba3 says:

    @YellowJournalism: Holy Hannah, had never heard of Vern Fonk before tonight. Now I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without him. A right good belly laugh was that. Definitely going back for more. Honk honk!

    @👽 Martin: The man is dead brilliant like that, innit he? 11th dimensional chess, you fucking better believe it!

  78. 78
    dogwood says:

    @Dennis SGMM:

    Only three sitting members of Congress have been elected president.

    Last time I checked Barack Obama was a sitting Senator in ’08. Sheesh.

  79. 79
    Mark S. says:

    I might have to start reading Erik Erickson everyday:

    Before the Rooster Crows

    It’s not clear from the post who is supposed to be Jesus in this pretty sacrilegious analogy. Romney? Erickson? Real Conservatives?

    Here is the most profound insight of the week I can give you

    I bet this isn’t going to be very profound

    in American politics, if a Republican candidate loses, the media blames it on the candidate being too conservative. If a Republican candidate wins, the media credits the candidate drifting toward the center.

    I was right.

    The rest of the post is something like elitists foisted Mitt upon salt of the earth types like Erick, and not Erick is the only one stupid enough to keep supporting Mitt. Oh, and Mitt can win, if he’s conservative enough. And I think Erick hates everybody in the world except for five or six of his commenters. He certainly hates Bush now. I mean shit, who the hell still cares about Harriet Miers?

    I just think we should keep all of this in mind when Erick snaps, goes on a murder spree, and tries to plead insanity.

  80. 80
    Alan says:

    This is so beautiful…

    Ryan: What that terrible stench??? Is it Mitt?
    Voters: No, that’s you, stinky!

    Now Ryan just needs a nickname… He’s such a little bitch, we could call him “the Wench”… Stench/Wench 2012 LOL

  81. 81
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @MikeJ: Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. Then again, some guy with no money and not even an endorsement from the DEC came within pissing distance of Cliff Stearns a few years ago. Sometimes the whole sure loser thing is just self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Coakley was a sure winner, and look at how that turned out.

  82. 82

    Off topic:

    For those of you playing Mists of Pandaria, I have started a Pandaren on Cole’s suggested server (Sargeras) and have it leveled up to where it is now sitting in Stormwind. If you are interested in leveling up in a Balloon Juice guild, let me know, I can go buy a guild charter. Then, we’ll just need signatures on it.

  83. 83
    dogwood says:

    @Shlemizel:

    If I may be Eyeore once again I’ll remind everyone that Bill Clinton gave the keynote at the 1988 DNC. It was dreadful . . .

    And I am happy to remind everyone that Bill Clinton’s address in 1988 was not the keynote. In fact, his remarks might have worked had they been the keynote address. In 1988 Bill Clinton introduced Dukakis and the remarks were entirely too long for that purpose. The crowd got antsy because they wanted to see Dukakis.

  84. 84
    max says:

    I recall that this is Roger Simon and I believe he is trolling the liberals.

    On the other hand, he may be trolling the Republicans, judging by the comments on the story at Politico! ;)

    max
    [‘OK, I kinda totally hate Roger Simon, but a +1 for bowling, er, trolling a very nice strike ball there.’]

  85. 85
    Michael says:

    OT: The Mecklenburg County VA Republican Party goes full-on, unabashedly racist.

    LINK

  86. 86
    Michael says:

    Oh, I should add a h/t to TPM for that

  87. 87
    Joel says:

    It’s a joke, and not a good one. The Nooners comment should have signaled alarm bells. I like you, ABL, but some incredulity is in order here…

  88. 88
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    I stand corrected; Obama’s resignation from his Senate seat took effect on November 16,2008. I had it in my head that he’d resigned in early 2005. I blame it on Oldtimer’s Disease.

  89. 89

    @Dennis SGMM: He became a Senator in early 2005.

  90. 90
    PaulW says:

    Having been at the receiving end of a handful of derogatory nicknames in middle school… Getting called “The Stench” has got to be a low blow. This campaign has surprised me in this regard: I never thought I would have ANY sympathy for Mitt Romney, but with this backstabbing by Ryan, I now have about .4 percent of concern for Mitt’s psychological well-being…

    To everyone who thinks Paul Ryan is a hero of any ideological bent… nope, he’s not. He’s just another self-serving pol who doesn’t even care for his fellow Republicans, especially the one he’s the wingman for!

  91. 91
    Mike in NC says:

    Ryan at this point should be chugging copious amounts of vodka with Peggy Noonan.

  92. 92
    robertdsc-PowerBook says:

    Count me in the minority in thinking this story is gag or a joke.

    As fucked up as Mittens & crew are, I don’t think this story is real.

  93. 93

    @PaulW: I suspect that Ryan doesn’t give a flying shit about this election, and is merely using it as a dress rehearsal for 2016.

  94. 94
    dogwood says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    One thing I can say for Republican partisans – they actually know a little something about their leading politicians. Democratic partisans? Not so much. It’s also pretty ironic that Democrats bemoan the fact that the MSM give more air time to Republicans than Democrats when liberal blogs spend practically all their time posting about Republicans.

  95. 95
    Radio One says:

    Yeah,I’m going to go with the people who think this is just Roger Simon yarn on this one.

  96. 96
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    I suspect that Ryan doesn’t give a flying shit about this election, and is merely using it as a dress rehearsal for 2016.

    You’re probably right. The Republicans’ past choices suggest that they clearly identify whose turn it is to run well before the election. I think that Jeb Bush is the only one who would be ahead of Ryan on that score.

  97. 97
    L. Ron Obama says:

    @robertdsc-PowerBook: You are not in the minority, even a child could see the article is satirical. Roger Simon took the actual NYT quote about “washing the stench of Romney off” and riffed on it.

  98. 98
    DPS says:

    I hate feeling sorry for Mitt. I can’t help it. Nobody likes him and he’s so lame.

    I wish that he weren’t such a prick and weren’t going to promote such terrible policies so that I wouldn’t feel so guilty about feeling sorry for him.

    But Jesus Christ, what a fucking sad sack. And now that everybody knows he’s going to lose, they’re all going to shit on him. How humiliating to have that little toad Ryan shit all over you after you made him your running mate. That makes me feel even worse.

  99. 99
    Hill Dweller says:

    @DPS: Whenever you start to feel sorry for Willard, think about all the people who lost their jobs so that he could become richer. Think about all the shelters and schemes he’s employed to avoid paying taxes, despite using all the countries resources. Think about his mendacity. Think about his lack of scruples.

    No one asked him to run for President…again.

  100. 100
    Ripley says:

    @Calouste: John McCain? Guy’s got shoulders you could crash a Navy Skyraider on!

    And they’re on fire.

  101. 101
    notoriousJRT says:

    @The Dangerman:
    Thanks for the Yaz memory.

  102. 102
    MikeJ says:

    @Michael: The Virginia Republican party ordered them to take it down. The locals told the state to fuck off. Taegan links to wapo on it.

  103. 103
    karen marie says:

    I am stunned this hasn’t hit the front page: Tommy Thompson’s numbers have dropped off a cliff and Tammy Baldwin is now up over 50% in Wisconsin! Their numbers have done a 180. I am gobsmacked. What happened other than the discovery of a video of Thompson telling teabaggers he’s their man for getting rid of Medicare?

  104. 104
    Suffern ACE says:

    @karen marie: Yep. These are your moderate republicans.

  105. 105
    Anne Laurie says:

    @hhex65:

    The guy from Love Story who invented the Internet says: Wow, they’re really crushing that dude.

    You win the thread, and one shiny gold-plated internet.

  106. 106
    DPS says:

    @Hill Dweller:

    Yeah, as I say, I realize that he’s a prick and that he’d be bad for most of us. And that he’s been a cynical liar throughout the campaign. And believe me, my money has all gone to the Kenyan socialist usurper. I just can’t help feeling sorry for the pathetic fucker. Not even his supporters like him. In fact, they’re probably the ones who loathe him the most.

  107. 107
    Narcissus says:

    @Ripley: Three or four of them, even.

  108. 108
    mai naem says:

    I feel sorry for Mitt. He’s basically sold what he had for a soul to get the nomination and he actually may have given Obama a run for his money except that he’s adopted all the wingnut whack positions and he cannot afford to have a Sister Soujah moment on any of this. I know he’s a fcukwad etc. but jeez, having his veep make fun of him got to be humiliating. I think he’s done with the Republican party if he loses. I don’t think they’ll ever get another buck out of him ever again.

  109. 109
    Amir Khalid says:

    I suspect this Politico satirical piece is like that Bobo column: for a lot of people, it rang truer than it was meant to, because the writer himself believes it more than he cares to admit. Mitt really does put people off and Ryan really is full of shit. The Mitt/Ryan 2012 campaign really is flailing. It’s all too believable that they’re privately blaming each other.

    For what it’s worth, I thought it might be a send-up when I noticed that the photo caption began “Simon says…”

  110. 110
    SRW1 says:

    It’s a goddamn Mittastrophe.

    Is there enough duct tape to hold this thing together until November 6?

  111. 111
    Applejinx says:

    It’s really freaking me out how I can’t tell where the reality leaves off and the satire begins. Did he really have to correct a crowd to include his name, or is that a joke? I know the first ‘stench’ remark was real and Ryan adopting it is fake.

  112. 112
    bago says:

    If Romney truly wants to be revered and adored throughout all of time and space, his concession session speech should be exactly two words long.
    “The Aristocrats”.

  113. 113
    kay says:

    @DPS:

    I had a flash of sympathy for Romney watching his Libya-debacle press conference. There’s a moment where you see the real person and it’s like he’s watching this whole thing transpire and he knows it’s a disaster.
    He’s ashamed of himself.
    But he’s a well-trained parrot so the moment passes and he repeats what he’s been told to say, and he’s loathsome again.
    He’s a coward, ultimately. He knows what he should do but he’s too scared to do it. It makes it worse.

  114. 114
    I Am Mitt's Smirk (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.) says:

    @👽 Martin: Since this is all fairly Inside Baseball to most who won’t really be checking in to the election before the debates, I luuuuurve the idea of Biden goading Ryan by tossing out the word “stench” a time or four during their debate, either goading him to say the wrong thing or, better, to put Ryan at ease enough that he actually lets fly with the word in ref to Romney.

    Hey, a boy can dream, can he not?

  115. 115
    SnarkyShark says:

    @Applejinx:
    The crowd correction is real. It is on video, and man is it awkward.

  116. 116
    dan says:

    @Dennis SGMM: if i were ryan i would not want to be president..3 sitting senators have made that transition and two of them were assassinated

  117. 117
    J R in WVa says:

    @Shlemizel:

    Ben Franklin said “Beer is how we know God loves us.”

  118. 118
    J R in WVa says:

    @karen marie:

    You don’t think telling a crowd he’s their guy to dismantle two of the most popular programs in the country is enough?

    Against a double amputee war hero?

    I think it’s all she needed.

  119. 119
    Sm*t Cl*de says:

    The general “campaign gone off the rails, through a housing development, and over a cliff” feel of the thing?

    Appropriate artwork!

  120. 120
    bob gregory says:

    This is just too much fun damn it, Gilligan standing up to Mr. Howell and calling him ”The Stench” Maybe Cons should make bumper sticker entitled ”I;m with Stench”………….

  121. 121
    AxelFoley says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    I’m not sure I buy this. I mean this Ryan guy is a prick, but he’s got to be a little smarter than this.

    Well, he did choose to become RMoney’s runningmate, so…

  122. 122
    russell says:

    You dance with the one that brung ya.

    Ryan is a dick.

    Also, his wonk cred is proving to be about one inch deep.

  123. 123
    AxelFoley says:

    Man, fuck feeling sorry for RMoney. Fuck him, he’s getting what he deserves. This asshole doesn’t give a single fuck about anyone but himself. I can’t believe some of you have even an iota of sympathy for this douche.

  124. 124

    @J R in WVa: You’re thinking of Tammy Duckworth. She’s running for Illinois Representative against that idiot Joe Walsh.

    Tammy Baldwin is a different candidate.

  125. 125
    Chris says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    If there’s hell below, we’re all gonna go

    If the fundie preachers are right about who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, I think we’re better off in hell.

  126. 126
    Chris says:

    @Radio One:

    I agree.

  127. 127
    quannlace says:

    “Is Romney a lost character from Dickens? If you wrote him into a novel, people would go, ‘Naw, it’s not working, he’s too much of a cartoon.’”

    Uriah Heep?

  128. 128

    […] Paul Ryan Calls Mitt Romney ‘The Stench’ (balloon-juice.com) […]

  129. 129
    rumpole says:

    And so we have the first article that makes Mitt look good. When I read this, I couldn’t help but think that it can’t be true, as it makes Ryan look like a complete a–hole. He’d still be the guy that Obama dressed down, and he’d still be House Budget chair and people would still be ga ga about how “smart” he is. But would you–in any future contest, want to have this guy on your team (or play for him, so to speak?) if you knew that with a month left to the election he would gladly mock you–for no apparent reason?

    The reason that Ryan got booed is not because of Romney-it’s because his ideas are not popular, and the premises on which he defends those ideas are demonstrably false. Nothing Mitt said is going to make replacing medicare with coupon clipping a more (or less) popular position-especially with people who are on it. A Power Point slide filled with bullshit is still bullshit.

  130. 130

    […] Paul Ryan Calls Mitt Romney ‘The Stench’ (balloon-juice.com) […]

  131. 131
    Captain C says:

    Wait, so, this isn’t a parody? Not an Onion article? This is supposedly real reporting? When I first saw this, I immediately assumed it was a joke. If you wrote this Romney campaign as a movie, or a mini-series, it’d never fly because people would not buy it as anything vaguely close to reality (though they would praise your excessive imagination and creativity).

  132. 132
    Neo says:

    Naturally, the sophisticated discerning conservative reader would have had no trouble picking up the “snark” in Politico’s Roger Simon piece, as even though our “gaydar” may be faulty, our “snarkdar” is fully refined.

  133. 133
    njorl says:

    @lumpkin: Powerpoint boring?!?! Are you using the animations?

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] Paul Ryan Calls Mitt Romney ‘The Stench’ (balloon-juice.com) […]

  2. […] Paul Ryan Calls Mitt Romney ‘The Stench’ (balloon-juice.com) […]

Comments are closed.