As I sit here wide awake, openly hostile at the world because I slept most of yesterday, most of today, and am only now starting to feel a little bit better despite the fact that I have taken enough Mucinex-D and Chlor-Trimatron to kill most mortals, it occurred to me that not everyone is as angry and pissed off as I am. I just loathe being sick and it puts me in a funk. I hate even more being put off my sleep schedule and sitting here wanting to be asleep, but wide awake and miserable instead. As such, a peace offering:
I’m sorry for being such a dick lately. If you haven’t noticed a difference, well, then, because,shut up, that’s why…
No matter how pissed off I get, I still have the girls and Tunch to keep me grounded. I can not believe that next spring I will have had Tunch for 11 years, Lily for four, and a few months later will be the third anniversary of Rosie. Simultaneously it feels longer and sooner- I feel like I have had them all forever, but at the same time, it feels like just yesterday.
At any rate, I am sorry for being so cranky. I think I am finally coming out of this cold. I’ve spent the last five days chugging coconut water and diet ginger ale (not together), eating cup of noodles, and just generally being pissed off when I am not sleeping.
BTW- Am I the only one who buys cases of vita-coco every time I hit Costco? Just the best stuff on earth. I usually chug two big glasses of water every morning when I wake up just to get the whole body running, but these days, I chug some Brita water and then an ice cold vita coco. It’s better than coffee.
MoeLarryAndJesus
I don’t know what vita-coco is, but it must cause cancer.
? Martin
Coconut water. It’s a hipster doofus thing.
? Martin
And cheer up, Cole. Mitt just stapled his dick to the bottom of his shoe. No only the video, but holy fuck presser afterwards. Rod Dreher says “That boring old Mitt Romney might be a significantly greater risk as president than Barack Obama.” in the pages of TAC.
And the best part is that they haven’t released the ‘I’d be better off in life if I was Latino’ bullshit nor the chinese factory forced labor bit and whatever else they might have. We’re done here baby. Mitt might as well file his paperwork for his Cayman citizenship right the fuck now.
wasabi gasp
You get sick too much. Take care of yourself. Be vigilant. Wash your bong.
kdaug
No apologies, Cole. You’ve never been one for a smarmy, sunshiny, shit-eating grin – don’t start now.
As re: pets v. years, 11 ain’t that old.
Besides, Tunch’s got a shirt. My cat doesn’t. And every time I wear the goddamned thing I get comments.
I generally tell them it a kind of Rumplestilskin thing – if they can name the cat, I’ll have to give them all me gold.
(Of course, then I have to add the disclaimer that I don’t actually have any gold, but that’s beside the point.)
No one’s gotten it yet. But someday, somewhere, in a mall or an airport or a stadium, some random stranger on a random Tuesday is going to point at me and yell “TUNCH!”
And we will both smile sagely and give a slight nod and be on our ways.
And my wife will say “What the fuck was that about”.
Short Bus Bully
Waitaminute… John Cole cranky and swearing at dumbasses on the internets? This is new and different you’re saying?
Uh… Okay.
Feel better.
Ginger tea with honey and lemon > coconut water (lamer)
Hill Dweller
@? Martin: The Willard camp has already refused to say whether he bought the Chinese factory.
The video couldn’t come at a worse time for Willard’s campaign, because they’re running new ads claiming Obama is sending jobs to China. If Willard did buy the Chinese factory, their entire attack(completely false, by the way) on Obama is undermined.
kdaug
@? Martin:
I don’t normally squee.
But the thought of all those campaign staffers tossing in their beds tonight thinking “Oh, god, what else did he say” has me to a solid squ.
freelancer
YOU DO NOT NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR FEELING MAUDLIN!
Sorry for shouting, but it needed to be said. Keep your wingnuts close but your critters closer.
There’s no such thing as half a liberal.
? Martin
@kdaug: Well, they know what’s coming. We all do – because we now know those other videos that ABL posted were authentic. What they don’t know is when they’ll drop.
David Corn on MSNBC looked like he just bagged Naya Rivera, he was so giddy over all the other video he could roll out just as the Mitt failparade looked like it might die down.
And the first debate is in 2 weeks. Domestic policy. Jim Lehrer moderating.
Nancy Irving
Since this is an open thread, can I request that everyone push the point, re R-Money’s latest gaffe, that the 47 percent of Americans who supposedly* receive “government checks” includes 56 million Social Security beneficiaries? Given the GOP’s desire to curry favor with the retired demographic, it would be nice if the oldsters were made to realize that they are among the 47 percent for whom R-Money has contempt.
*Is this figure actually correct? And does it include, say, farmers who receive ag support payments?
taylormattd
Wow, Lily for four years? That’s insane. I still remember you posting about finding this lost dog. My god, how is that even possible?
taylormattd
And what the fuck is vita coco?
MikeJ
@taylormattd: Wasn’t it a Ricky Martin song?
IamNoYoda
Random thoughts: 1) Perfectly justified for feeling pissed of and angry at the world in general. How can anyone be associated with or identified as a republican or conservative nowadays. Yet, one of my best friends is one and a proud one. 2) Thinking about getting a dog. Yet the thought of having and raising another “child”, and losing it in a dozen years… worth it?
Origuy
Coconut water is good stuff; it’s high in potassium. I buy it by the case at Costco, too.
I’m wondering, though, why there’s so much supply on the market now. A few years ago it was pomegranate, now it’s coconut. Are we going to be up to our asses in cherimoyas next year?
? Martin
@Nancy Irving: Yeah, it’s correct. Nearly half of that is SS/Medicare. Another chunk is TAMF/Medicaid (also overlapping with retirees). Another chunk is unemployment benefits.
The majority of these people are receiving benefits they directly paid for, though. Only TAMF/Medicaid is a taxpayer entitlement program.
My guess is that it does include other subsidies and whatnot, but those numbers would be pretty small overall.
taylormattd
@MikeJ: lmao
kdaug
@? Martin: Grab your gun and bring in the cat.
Boom, boom, boom.
greennotGreen
Cole, I *wish* I had a cold, and not what I’ve got. If I’m lucky, later this week I’ll have a laparoscopy that shows I don’t have cancer, just something really rare and odd that will probably still have to come out. If I’m not lucky, months of treatment… And still I’d be lucky. I live in a country with decent medical care, I work in a medical center for FSM’s sake, so I have very good insurance, and, although single and living alone, I have a support system. And a bunch of dogs, including the most loving rescue chihuahua in the world.
Almost all of us here are incredibly lucky, and most of us know it. If we didn’t, we’d be Republicans.
greennotGreen
@Origuy: Which, if they’re really fresh and ripe, would be awesome!
Joseph Nobles
I found this link over at the Mahablog:
http://www.cbpp.org/cms/index.cfm?fa=view&id=3505
Actual facts about the 47%.
Mary G
Is that Rosie? Squee.
? Martin
@Origuy: Maybe. Could be the McRib economic theory at work.
Coconut water strikes me as nothing more than a way to monetize all of the coconut milk that was being wasted in the processing of shredded coconut. They built a product around this waste material and marketed it to yoga studios as natural gatorade.
Pomegranate is a similar marketing effort. One of the megafarms up in the central valley was experimenting with growing them and they did okay. The company that owns the farm paid for a bunch of medical studies on the health merits of pomegranates and then pointed their advertising back at the studies and expanded their farm. I think it offset olives that had fallen in demand. They’re the same folks running the Wonderful Pistachio ads you see (POM Wonderful – see the brand?)
srv
I’m not offended, as a matter of fact I was thinking just today how you need another JRT.
asiangrrlMN
@IamNoYoda: I don’t have a dog, but I have two cats, and it’s DEFINITELY worth it.
Cole, we love you as your are – cranky, bighearted, and full of bluster. Hope you feel better soon. And, TUUUUUUNCH!
Randy P
@Nancy Irving: The “47 percent of Americans who pay no taxes” includes those Americans who are under 18, and yes some portion of the elderly as well. I don’t know why it isn’t point out that he’s counting our kids among the freeloaders in this Republican talking point. Maybe reporters haven’t caught on to that number yet.
Edit: OK, I just went and checked the census website. There were 308 million Americans in 2010. 24% of them, or 74 million, were under 18. 40 million, or 13% of them, were over 65. There’s 37% right there.
Damn leeches.
asiangrrlMN
@greennotGreen: Ooooh, good luck with the laparoscopy. I’m crossing all my important bits for you. Let us know how it turns out.
Cris (without an H)
When my first son was born, every grandmother I met on the street would say to me “enjoy it, because it goes by so fast.” And they were right, but they were also totally wrong. The last six years have been an eternity — an eternity in the blink of an eye. Excruciatingly slow, and gone in an instant.
I guess it’s just one more thing that shows we’re getting older. Maybe our memories are just built to think everything happened just yesterday, and the older we get, the more we cram into that little box.
? Martin
@Randy P: It only counts kids that file tax returns. Yeah, there are some, but not tons. Pretty much all college students need to file but don’t earn enough to pay income taxes, though. They do pay some payroll taxes.
Twittered from NYT: Q: What percent of households do not pay income or payroll taxes, discounting the elderly? A: About 8 percent, almost all poor.
And what we need to remind the media is that while Romney is decrying half of Americans that pay no taxes, he also wants to cut taxes creating even more Americans that pay no taxes. Shouldn’t someone ask him about that?
Randy P
Hmmm, we seem to have two interpretations of the “47 percent”. Is it 47 percent of households? Is it 47 percent of the population? What Romney is saying right now is “47 percent of Americans”, which seems to be phrased to sound scary while actually just counting kids and non-working spouses.
I think I want to know where their figure actually came from.
@Martin: Are you sure? “47 percent of Americans” sounds pretty clear to me, and different from “47 percent of Americans who filed income tax returns”.
? Martin
This is going to be in half the ads from now to November:
“[M]y job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”
We need to make sure nobody forgets Romney said that.
IamNoYoda
@asiangrrlMN: thanks. Had a cat growing up till going away for college, loved it. Not allowed to pet her too much, because the cat was supposed to be a house cat that catches house rats. Want to have a dog this time, though.
Randy P
Re: Crankiness. I don’t know why it’s so endearing in this place, but it is. I think it’s because of the genuine fondness people have for each other. And like ABL told us in her convention write-up, John is a genuinely nice person and a softie. We all know that. One of my first exposures to this blog was when Cole was completely hysterical over having not seen Tunch for a couple of days. It’s a little hard to take a guy as scary after that.
Plus, my wife’s reaction to my own crankiness is generally to laugh in my face, for which I am eternally grateful. I hate to think just how far down the path of curmudgeonhood I would have gone by now without her sense of humor.
There was a day here a couple of weeks ago where there was some “I hate you all” post by Cole, followed by another comment thread where half the regulars were snarling at the other half. I literally started laughing out loud. I’m sorry, I know everybody’s pique was over Something Really Important and all, but honestly it just came across as a huge pile of puppies play-growling.
Pseudonym
Mr. Cole, you really need a willing, enthusiastic, and mutually attractive person of the appropriate gender and disposition. Not that many of us aren’t in the same boat, but you deserve it more.
raven
@Pseudonym: He doesn’t read these threads!
Valdivia
Love you John, hope you continue recuperating. Having a cold totally sucks.
I Am Mitt's Smirk (né Studly Pantload, t.e.u.u.)
Don’t ever change, John G. Cole.
I mean, do get better, just don’t ever change.*
*Request void before c. 2005.
Schlemizel
If you have not seen the recent oatmeal you should. It will make you smile, break your heart and explain man/dog friendships in a simple cartoon:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox
Older_Wiser
Cheer up, John. It’s just this crappy rainy weather, but hope you feel better.
Rmoney will probably open up another vein today, so we have something to look forward to.
bago
First off: Romney disheveled and saying things like “aren’t not paying taxes” is quite the sight.
Secondly: The Femur based canine rail-gun is the kind of innovation this country needs. Those dogs are loaded up, aimed, and ready to go.
Valdivia
and yes Vita Coco is great. But as I am a sugar nazi (even if natural sugar not the corn syrup crap) I stay away from it. I looked at the calories and carbs and just couldn’t have it anymore which gave me a sad, but hey when on limited consumption you have to eat where the protein and sustenance is, liquids are the part we always forget to count and end up filling up with empty calories /nutrition self-rant over
Pseudonym
@raven: Well, what would you tell him if he did? I bet you $10000 Romneybucks he eventually goes back and reads every single comment.
Debbie(Aussie)
I absolutely love this place. I have become deeply involved in your country and it’s politics through you wonderful people.
I read you (the site) at about this time every evening and enjoy it very much. FP and commenters alike, an unusual family, but it works. Love the pets , have minture foxy and a beautiful fluffy get monster of a cat, might give Tunch a run for hi money size wise
John be how ever you are, but get well soonest. You are experiencing what most parents experience regarding time with children. Love them as much as you can for as long as you can, only advice I can give.
Debs
JPL
@greennotGreen: We will be thinking of you.
raven
@Pseudonym: Bet.
raven
“You can shoot yourself in the foot. You can put your foot in your mouth.
But it takes a special talent to put your foot in your mouth, and THEN shoot yourself in the foot!”
Pseudonym
You also have to answer the first question though. And by the way, Romneybucks aren’t even worth the pixels they’re printed on.
raven
@Debbie(Aussie): I loves some Australia. One of the best weeks of my life were spent freezing my ass off in Kings Cross in August, 1969!
Schlemizel
and for equal time for us cat lovers – gocomics is rerunning Kliban & todays is a great cat comic
http://www.gocomics.com/comic/explore/1384359/19
R-Jud
@greennotGreen: Fingers crossed for you!
@Valdivia:
They sell this at my gym, and because it is a Crossfit/Olympic lifting/”Paleo”-diet friendly gym it makes me scratch my head. This stuff has a ton of sugar in it.
I don’t do the paleo thing, but I do try to get my carbs wholly from vegetables and fruit while avoiding refined sugar (except on Sunday, when I will cut you if you try to touch my weekly hunk o’ cake). VitaCoco doesn’t really fit with that.
NotMax
@Origuy
Dunno, but can pretty much guarantee that the next thing up will not be durian.
Debbie(Aussie)
@raven: Visited Kings Cross as school girl grade 10 , 15 yrs old for a Chinese art exhibittionthat was in 77.live in south east Queensland. Not exactly sure what you were up to to freeze your bum off :)
Valdivia
@R-Jud:
I also don’t do the paleo thing. But I truly watch over my sugar and carb consumption. About 2 years ago, maybe a tad more, I had a check up and my blood sugar was so high, I was veering into pre-diabetes. Having seen what the disease does–from family members born with it–I immediately changed the way I lived. Started seriously exercising and changed my diet. After 8 months without any sugar I realized that for me, sugar is a gateway drug. I have carbs from veggies (and wine!) and will from time to time indulge in a piece of bread or pasta but very limited. Sugar is for the most extravagant of indulgences every few months. And after I have to make sure to stay away from it because once I start, I really cannot stop.
On vita-coco specifically: I grew up drinking coconut water fresh from the coconut when we went to the beach. When it began appearing here I was so happy. I had it a few times, its refreshing and feels light plus it has a lot of other natural minerals that are good for you. But as you say: full of sugar, even if it is of the natural sort. People tend not to think about it because it is just a drink, but liquids (specially fruit juices) have the highest concentration of sugars. It takes maybe 6 oranges to make a really tall glass of orange juice. If you tried to eat them all directly you wouldn’t, you couldn’t so this is what juice does: concentrates calories and you don’t even notice you consumed them.
Sorry for the length of this, as you can tell, having looked at the abyss of diabetes and run in the other direction I feel very strongly about having people pay attention to what they eat, where the calories come from, what they make you feel, and how they affect you.
mai naem
@Origuy: I would be perfectly happy to have cherimoyas up our asses next year. I love cherimoyas but even in AZ where I live, the cherimoyas are like $5 a cherimoya which is I just can’t justify buying.
Schlemizel
@mai naem:
Aren’t the seeds of the cherimoya poisonous? I seem to remember reading that somewhere, it could be a deal breaker for popularity.
As for coconut water – I was buying some Thai brand from the local Asian market years ago mostly instead of some other soft drink. It was cheap & tasty. Now the price has tripled and I noticed several different brands, most are a lot sweeter. That makes me wonder why they are much sweeter & if they add sugar because its cheap.
raven
@Debbie(Aussie): Indeed. I was on R&R.
raven
@NotMax: How ya doin up there?
1badbaba3
On the positive side, nice gams, JG.
ET
Doggie arm rests – the best kind.
virginia
Sorry you don’t feel well — I’m a big Vita-Coco fan — Great stuff. When I was a girl growing up in Rio we used to stop at roadside stands for real coconut water — the top was taken off with a machete, a straw was provided, and then the fellows would split open the fruit and provide a metal spoon. Sheer heaven — Coconut water hydrates like crazy so drink a ton of it and feel better.
Romney, Inc., is providing quite a light show so there’s plenty of thrilling entertainment on the tube — Good to doze to.
And, yeah, not a bad pair of legs on you.
Violet
Glad you are feeling better, John. Being sick sucks. Take care of yourself.
greennotGreen
Thanks, Balloon-Juicers, for the good wishes.
schrodinger's cat
Aww sweet photo. BTW where is Tunch? Have you tried ginger tea for your cold? It works wonders, it will clear yours sinuses and soothe your throat. Brew black tea as usual add some slivers of thinly sliced fresh ginger to the tea leaves. Add milk and sugar or honey and lime to finish your tea. Another thing that works for me is milk with some turmeric and cayenne, along with a level tsp of sugar. Warm it all in microwave, drinking it should help soothe your throat.
Bulworth
Good grief another pic without Tunch.
Amir Khalid
@virginia:
real coconut water, drunk straight out of the coconut like Mother Nature intended, is popular all over the tropics. I’m suspicious of the packaged variety which has sugar added, as though the real thing were not sweet and tasty enough.
Angela
@MoeLarryAndJesus:
Or extreme ranting.
NotMax
@raven
Bit late in replying (sleep intervened, don’tcha know), but more or less okay.
Spatula
Cole, did you shave your legs?
asiangrrlMN
@IamNoYoda: I would apply the same theory and say go for it!
Gretchen
C’mon, Cole, you’ve got a dog on each leg. How bad could it be?