Tiny Vengeance Ghosts Everywhere

I have no clue how this man is a State anything, even if that state is Virginia.

On Thursday, Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall (R) spoke at a press conference against state funding for Planned Parenthood. He blasted the organization for supporting a women’s right to choose, saying that God punishes women who have had abortions by giving them disabled children:

Bob’s God sounds like an asshole, frankly.

The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.

“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

And for the non-Christians out there, Ace?  You have any sort of science or fact or back of a cereal box or twenty-year-old “The More You Know” tape with some details on this, or are you just projecting your Invisible Sky Judgment Dude on women again because your interpretation just so coincidentally happens to keep all the “high ground” on your side against all those horrible, excreting Vagina-Americans you “love” so much?

I have to tell you, if your Cloudfather Grande actually existed as was in charge, I’m thinking you wouldn’t be a lawmaker, making laws for other people based solely on you being a doucheknocker.

Just throwing that out there.

80 replies
  1. 1
    shortstop says:

    Virginia is regressing.

  2. 2
    burnspbesq says:

    I don’t know what this guy is, but he surely is not a Christian in any meaningful sense of the word.

  3. 3
    Tonal Crow says:

    But Sarah Palin said that a disabled child is a blessing! Hard it is, wingnut propaganda to self-reconcile.

  4. 4
    khead says:

    Bob Marshall is the kind of asswipe that makes me happy I live in MD.

  5. 5
    beltane says:

    I suppose this assclown is unaware that nature is the biggest abortionist of all as a very large percentage of fertilized eggs spontaneously abort during the first few weeks of pregnancy.

  6. 6
    Strandedvandal says:

    This was all a couple years ago I believe. Not that it changes anything, but maybe he’s evolved a little since then?

  7. 7
    shortstop says:

    @Tonal Crow: This actually puts Sarah Palin in an awkward position. My money’s on her issuing some embarrassing statement assuring us all that she’s never had an abortion, while backing up Marshall’s notion of divine punishment against women who have. In the end we’ll all be talking about Sarah’s hoo-hoo, which is just how she wants it.

  8. 8
    shortstop says:

    @Strandedvandal: Yikes. February 2010.

  9. 9
    beltane says:

    Reading this again, it would also seem that Bob Marshall is confusing Baal worship, with its practice of child-sacrifice, with Judaism and its very reasonable attitude towards abortion.

  10. 10
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Marshall just committed a gaffe, like Aiken did, where they blurt out what they’re really thinking, and it’s the sort of thing that inspires people to look for tar and feathers.

  11. 11
    burnspbesq says:

    @shortstop:

    Virginia is regressing.

    Probably not. There are geographically large but relatively under-populated parts of the state (Southside and the Shenandoah Valley) that never fully embraced the 20th Century. The more populous parts of the state are purple (Fairfax, Arlington, and Alexandria being quite blue, while Tidewater trends red), which is why Obama was able to carry the state.

    Marshall is an anachronism who will be gone soon. His district, in Loudon and Prince William Counties, is rapidly becoming suburban. In four years, it will be as blue as Fairfax.

  12. 12
    Ben Franklin says:

    The Magical female rape zygote killer comes to mind. These folks seem to think God is some sort of Wizard behind the curtain, pulling levers and pushing buttons. If they read their own Book of Books, and comprehended something other than John 3:16 they would see that God does not provide immediate punishment or reward to anyone. Mostly, it’s a cautionary tale, about the long-range effects of good/bad behavior. Plus they can’t get past Cotton Mather’s Angry God. They serve out of fear of Hell, more so than serving out of love and devotion. In their fevered worship, they project the meanness of God onto themselves since they are made in His image.

  13. 13
    Pongo says:

    My firstborn (no abortion, no miscarriage) is disabled. What did I do wrong?

    This makes me think of Jon Stewart’s line ‘if there is a God, why is he always such a dick?’

  14. 14
    eemom says:

    oh stop BEATING on us, y’all. We are the state that has given you Virgil Goode.

  15. 15
    Another Halocene Human says:

    Gaaaaah I hate NPR but I did smile today because the host said “horse race” followed by pointing out that Romney was behind by more than the error bar overlap.

    The Romney spokesmoron said that “Romney is right where he needs to be right now.”

    That’s got to hurt.

  16. 16
    scav says:

    So, is he all for abortions on demand, go wild, so long as it’s not the first-born getting the recall? Jebus only cares for the eldest because he has dibs on those, correct? Could be read that way. Could also be read as suggesting that if your abortion has handicaps, the number of kids you have subsequent to that abortion has gone up dramatically.

  17. 17
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Another Halocene Human:

    The Romney spokesmoron said that “Romney is right where he needs to be right now.”

    Exactly so, from Obama’s perspective. Eating Obama’s dust. Where Rmoney will remain for the rest of the election.

  18. 18
    Brachiator says:

    “In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. ”

    Is he calling for the return of child sacrifice?

    They should put everyone who claims to know the exact will of God in a room. Then, whoever is left standing would be put on an island with plenty of food and shelter.

    They rest of us would get on very nicely.

  19. 19
    burnspbesq says:

    @eemom:

    And Eric Cantor. Y’all have a bit of ‘splainin’ to do.

  20. 20
    quannlace says:

    Don’t ya wanna bet this guy is on some kind of science committee?

  21. 21
    joes527 says:

    … abort the first born

    Does he even understand what the word “born” means?

  22. 22
    dmsilev says:

    @Another Halocene Human: Sounds like Joe Lieberman’s “Three way tie for third place”. Translation: “Fifth”.

  23. 23
    dmsilev says:

    @joes527: In fairness, there are a large number of conservatives who would be prime candidates for retroactive abortions.

  24. 24
    jibeaux says:

    @Another Halocene Human: Don’t feel bad, Mitt, he’s probably not the only guy working for you who’s going to vote for Obama.

  25. 25
    Violet says:

    And for the non-Christians out there, Ace?

    Non-Christians are going to Hell, don’t count and aren’t worth thinking about because this is A Christian Nation.

    Any further questions?

  26. 26
    Rafer Janders says:

    “The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.

    Hey, that’s science. You can’t argue with science.

  27. 27
    shortstop says:

    @Strandedvandal:

    maybe he’s evolved a little since then?

    If so, it’s been since February of this year, when he cosponsored a “personhood” bill that passed the VA House 66-32.

    McDonnell, Cuccinelli, the VA House passing two of the most restrictive anti-abortion bills in the nation, the reemergence of George “Macaca” Allen as a viable candidate for the U.S. Senate…whew, it’s ugly.

  28. 28
    A Ghost To Most says:

    @burnspbesq:

    I dunno; he’s sayin what most Christians I know seem to think

  29. 29

    “Nature takes its vengeance” implies that Nature is a personal being, capable of moral judgements and enacting punishment as she sees fit.

    Never mind Christian. His semantics betray this guy as an animist.

  30. 30
    catclub says:

    @Rafer Janders: The engineer thread is one over.

  31. 31
    Brachiator says:

    @Violet:

    Non-Christians are going to Hell, don’t count and aren’t worth thinking about because this is A Christian Nation.

    This ain’t even Carrie Nation.

    Carry on.

  32. 32
    shortstop says:

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God: Exactly. References to “nature” reveal him as a secret full-moon dancer. His pastor is going to be very disappointed when this gets out.

  33. 33
    shortstop says:

    @Brachiator: Carry Nation. The only person I’ve ever heard of who spelled it that way.

  34. 34
    Nethead Jay says:

    I’ve read that this guy Marshall is the inspiration/competition for such people as current Gov. Bob Mcdonnell and wannabe future Gov. Ken Cuccinelli. So he’s probably a straight-up unreconstructed asshole who’s not gonna get better and will hopefully get thrown sme time in the future.

  35. 35
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @shortstop:

    secret full-moon dancer.

    A skyclad secret full-moon dancer.

    Time to fire up the night vision camera and capture this event for Youtube!

  36. 36
    shortstop says:

    @shortstop: One day I was walking down the street in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, and spied a sign on a bar that said, “Historic Schmidt Sample Room, Scene Of The Famous Carry Nation Hatchet Swinging Episode, July 18, 1902.” Of course, everybody wants to be Carry’s biggest hatchet-swinging victim, just like everyone claims to have the World’s Best Cup of Coffee.

  37. 37
    shortstop says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Ew. You first, buddy.

  38. 38
    Brachiator says:

    @shortstop:

    Carry Nation. The only person I’ve ever heard of who spelled it that way.

    I’ve seen both. The Wiki identifies her as Carrie, and granted that this may be totally incorrect. A 1901 NY Times story also identifies her as “Carrie A Nation.”

    Whatever works for you. The word play works either way.

  39. 39
    TenguPhule says:

    “In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

    The Ass of the Firstborn shall belong to the Church. As it is written, let it be done.

  40. 40
    Shana says:

    Just went over to Blue Virginia where they’re saying that the first bill of the 2013 session will be a personhood bill sponsored by, wait for it, “Sideshow Bob” Marshall.

  41. 41
    Culture of Truth says:

    Have anyone told Santorum about this?

  42. 42
    Rome Again says:

    “In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

    No, actually, that would be Ba’al.

    Isaac was Abraham’s SECOND born.
    Jacob was Isaac’s SECOND born.

    The Hebrew/Israeli Patriarchs weren’t into that whole Firstborn thing.

  43. 43
    Felinious Wench says:

    I am sick of these people using the term “Christians think.” Because we don’t all think the same way, not even close. Not even my Fundie relatives have ever spouted this nonsense.

    Much better to use “assholes think” or “unscientific morons think, if we could manage it.”

  44. 44
    bemused says:

    It’s terrifying that so many of these insane people are in office.

  45. 45
    Felinious Wench says:

    I am sick of these people using the term “Christians think.” Because we don’t all think the same way, not even close. Not even my Fundie relatives have ever spouted this nonsense.

    Much better to use “assholes think” or “unscientific morons think, if we could manage it.”

  46. 46
    Felinious Wench says:

    FYWP, little bitch of a piece of technology.

    That is all.

  47. 47
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Rome Again:

    Isn’t the whole point of Passover that the Jews were able to get God to kill all of the firstborn children of the Egyptians while “passing over” Jewish households?

  48. 48
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Rome Again:

    Isn’t the whole point of Passover that the Jews were able to get God to kill all of the firstborn children of the Egyptians while “passing over” Jewish households?

  49. 49
    peach flavored shampoo says:

    A guy from the state sounding most like “vagina” is so anti-vagina. Hmmmmm.

  50. 50
    El Cid says:

    Well, the rainbow only represents a promise not to drown us all again — He didn’t say anything about not fucking up our babies with deformities.

  51. 51
    peach flavored shampoo says:

    A guy from the state sounding most like “vagina” is so anti-vagina. Hmmmmm.

  52. 52
    Felinious Wench says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    A skyclad secret full-moon dancer.

    Wearing only a crescent moon to cover his genitals.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  53. 53
    hep kitty says:

    Lot of you probably saw this, but Joe Walsh tells Sandra Fluke to get a job.

  54. 54
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Ah, FYWP having one of its occasional conniptions.

    Carry on!

  55. 55
    Jim says:

    @A Ghost To Most: Please don’t confuse the “Christians” like Marshall who, with the connivance of the media, have hijacked the title Christian with the vast majority of folks who attend christian churches.

  56. 56
    Felinious Wench says:

    @A Ghost To Most:

    I dunno; he’s sayin what most Christians I know seem to think

    He’s a Roman Catholic, and not a social justice Roman Catholic. That’s all you need to know.

  57. 57
    Felinious Wench says:

    @Jim: What Jim said.

  58. 58
    Spike says:

    @Felinious Wench:

    unscientific morons think

    They do? Evidence, please.

  59. 59
    shortstop says:

    @Felinious Wench: This oughta inspire a truly fabulous one true Scotsman moment.

  60. 60
    NonyNony says:

    @burnspbesq:

    I don’t know what this guy is, but he surely is not a Christian in any meaningful sense of the word.

    And he wouldn’t think you were either.

    The word “Christian” is mostly meaningless. I prefer terms like “Catholic”, “Baptist” and “Methodist” because they’re actually meaningful AND you can apply the appropriate modifiers.

    For example, if Wikipedia is correct this guy is a Roman Catholic, which makes him a “Roman Catholic Asshole”.

    (And for the record, before the Catholic bashers come in to play, this doesn’t sound like any Approved Catholic Doctrine last I heard. This guy is expounding in the oldest form of Theology – i.e. Making Shit Up.)

  61. 61
    Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937 says:

    I thought you were supposed to sacrifice the first born to your god. Post-birth death is acceptable but zygote elimination angers god? ’cause he didn’t get to see a child die? How fucked up is their logic?

  62. 62
    Felinious Wench says:

    @NonyNony:

    This guy is expounding in the oldest form of Theology – i.e. Making Shit Up.

    I’ve heard this deformed child argument from one other person…a friend’s mother, strict RC, who used to travel all over the country to visit any supposed sighting of the Virgin Mary. Mary Appears on Toast, she was there.

  63. 63
    Rome Again says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Yes, but, that has nothing to do with dedicating a child to God. It had to do with punishing the Egyptians for now allowing the Hebrews to be free.

  64. 64
    Felinious Wench says:

    @shortstop:

    This oughta inspire a truly fabulous one true Scotsman moment.

    I added the social justice modifier. Hoping that helps somewhat.

  65. 65
    dance around in your bones says:

    This is just about the most ignorant thing I have ever heard any person say. I have known many women who have had abortions and then gone on later to have perfectly normal kids WHEN THEY WERE READY TO HAVE THEM.

    Stupid fuck. I’d bet he’d be singing a different tune if HE could get pregnant. Dumb fuck.

  66. 66
    Mino says:

    Shit, now doctors will be forced to add that idiocy to the litany of lies they are required to tell their female patients.

  67. 67
    cckids says:

    Hey, my first child was born with a serious disability AND I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE AN ABORTION FIRST. Obviously God screwed up somewhere.

    ETA: Tho speaking of “dumbest things you’ve heard”, when my son was diagnosed, an aunt told me his disability was God’s punishment on me for having a child out of wedlock.

    It was a twofer-breathtakingly stupid and unkind at once.

  68. 68
    Hazel says:

    Just to clarify re: the old testament. I think I remember from Hebrew School, that first-born sons, because Jewish first born sons were passed-over in Egypt during the final plague, have to be redeemed (Exodus 34:19); you pay a sum to the Cohen (priest) in gratitude for them having been saved. However, if I recall correctly, you only pay it once they’ve lived for a month! (Because infant mortality was high, once upon a time). So if you abort your first born, it’s, um, not your first born and there’s no obligation.

  69. 69
    Davis X. Machina says:

    @Felinious Wench:

    Mary Appears on Toast, she was there.

    Feh. I’m waiting for Mary Appears on Leno. Any kind of an agent, she wouldn’t still be doing toast.

  70. 70
    karen marie says:

    Speaking of assholes, look which one might not get reelected! Crazy Eyes!

  71. 71
    shortstop says:

    @Davis X. Machina: To be fair, she’s also regularly doing rainspouts, campfire smoke and green peppers. Still, I agree she could step up her representation.

  72. 72
    Felinious Wench says:

    @karen marie:

    Speaking of assholes, look which one might not get reelected!

    I saw that. Man, I’d love to see her pull a Palin and fade into reality TV obscurity.

  73. 73
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    The Old Testament did have a first born son requirement, but after the Jews left Egypt, God said, “eh, I’ll take the Levites instead.”

  74. 74
    maya says:

    No, Virginia, there is no Sanity Clause.

  75. 75
    Betsy says:

    This moron from VA!

    But what about all the women who have abortions because they already have kids they love?

    A lot of abortions are late-life pregnancies. Maybe the family can’t function with more kids, or perhaps the fetus has a disorder related to the age of the woman.

  76. 76
    Jamie says:

    Hmm, how do wee know Romney isn’t playing possum and come across with a program and personality that will enchant the Nation?

  77. 77
    Jamie says:

    Naah, that can’t be right. Robotic technology still isn’t that good.

  78. 78
    rickstershierpa says:

    “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of…and evil man brings forth evil things out of the evils stored up in him.”

    Marshall in fact is not a “Christian,” as the Founder had rather strict ideas on “separation of Church and State” (‘render the things that our Ceasar’s to Ceasar, render the things that our God’s to God.”) In fact, as the always surprising, and sometimes disturbing web site Jesse’s Cafe Amercain wrote yesterday, commenting on the Marshalls of the world who conceive of God as a “vending machine”…http://jessescrossroadscafe.bl.....unday.html..

    “…But there is always a tendency in some of the faithful of God, those Jews, Christians, and Muslims, and those who worship God in other ways, to begin to love the rituals and the mannerisms, the words and status of their faith, the comfortable accoutrements, more so than what the faith itself represents, and what it commands of us.

    “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

    And some think of faithfulness to God as a transaction, as if God were merely a vending machine. If I say the right words, if I am born to the right people and worship in the finest buildings, if I pronounce the ritual properly as prescribed, then I am among the faithful, the elect, and I am saved, no matter what else I may do. And all too often that ‘saving’ implies a worldly prosperity and honors.

    The words and the covenant compel God, since I have called out to Him in accordance with the ritual, as if I were not calling out to the purest being above all else, the Holy Spirit, but pushing buttons on a machine, or summoning a demon to be my personal servant.

    Your words will provide what your heart commands.

    And this may even include the most zealous, who with grand gestures and exorbitant demonstrations seem to be the most ardent, the first among the faithful. But when one listens to them, their words betray them, because there is nothing of the love of God and of His creation and of their fellows in their words, which are mottled with hash judgements, violence and a defiant hardness of heart.

    “Whatever you have done to the least of these, you have done to Me…Whatever you have not done for the least of these, you have not done for Me.”

    Be careful of this. This gospel of greed and abuse of the faith is a sin against the Spirit, the one sin which will not be easily forgiven. It is the desecration of the word, and what is most holy.

    “And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

    Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognised by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

    But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

    Matthew 12:31-37

  79. 79
    4jkb4ia says:

    That’s awful. This man’s Bible does not have the part where you redeem the firstborn son, clearly, or where the Levites take over from the firstborn in terms of Temple service.

    What he wants to quote is something like Dvarim 21:15-17, where if a man has a loved wife and a hated wife, and his firstborn is from the hated wife, he cannot give the loved wife’s son the firstborn’s inheritance because the firstborn is “the first fruit of his vigor” (JPS)

  80. 80
    4jkb4ia says:

    Completely off topic: Ivan Lendl looked so proud, I think he was crying.

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