Quoth the Raven

This letter from Ravens Vikings punter Chris Kluwe (in support of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo) to anti-gay winger Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. is ten pounds of awesome in a five pound sack, as the kids say (via Atrios):

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland’s state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

[….]

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

I think I need a cigarette.






147 replies
  1. 1
    kc says:

    Oh my God. I might have to start watching football!

  2. 2

    Masterful. Bravo, Mr. Kluwe.

  3. 3
    catclub says:

    This will get more coverage of the issue than anything else from the past 6 months.

  4. 4
    VOR says:

    Umm, Chris Kluwe is the punter for the Minnesota Vikings, not the Baltimore Ravens. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Kluwe

  5. 5
    James Hare says:

    That’s Vikings punter Chris Kluwe.

  6. 6
    The Bobs says:

    Kluwe plays for the Vikings, not the Ravens. It’s in the article, though easy to miss.

  7. 7
    Tom Levenson says:

    I particularly liked the line, “They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster.”

    Sometimes I think this really comes as new information to these folks.

  8. 8
    seaurch says:

    I’m pretty sure the kids don’t say that, actually.

  9. 9
    burnspbesq says:

    He’ll get cut next week. The NFL can’t handle this kind of controversy. There’s a reason why it’s referred to as the “No Fun League.”

  10. 10
    Bighorn Ordovican Dolomite says:

    @VOR:

    My heart nearly skipped a beat! I don’t pay much attention to preseason, so I was worried that I missed Kluwe leaving or something. It was nice that after several seasons of bumbling the Vikings finally nailed down the punter position with Kluwe.

    That he is a deadly flame warrior is just pure gravy.

  11. 11
    anibundel says:

    “Lustful cockmonster” will be added to my vocabulary posthaste.

  12. 12
    scav says:

    @kc: Yep. Better still, hearing this sort of overt advocacy from sports figures is signs of serious penetration into the zeitgheist. Almost better than Iowa.

  13. 13
    Ben Franklin says:

    The Viking punts him through the uprights.

  14. 14
    Ben Franklin says:

    The Viking punts him through the uprights.

  15. 15
    rlrr says:

    Lustful Cockmonsters – band name

  16. 16
    Ed in NJ says:

    Kluwe wrote this in response to Burns suggesting the Ravens punish Ravens linebacker Brendan Ayanbadejo for publicly supporting gay marriage. I think that’s where the confusion arises.

  17. 17
    MikeJ says:

    @Tom Levenson:

    Sometimes I think this really comes as new information to these folks.

    When I was a kid I was offended that people could be so stupid as to listen to bad music. Now the existence of Beiber or Minaj, and the fact that people actually enjoy them, phases me not at all.

    I still believe those fans have no taste, but somehow the passage of time taught me not to take their lack of taste as a personal affront.

    I wish there was a way to teach people to simply not give a shit about what other people do.

  18. 18
    Svensker says:

    Lustful cockmonster? I like the way this guy thinks.

    Also, too, yay!

  19. 19
    Darkrose says:

    I may have just become a lot more interested in handegg than I’ve been since the Super Bowl Shuffle Bears.

  20. 20
    curiousleodog says:

    As said, the punter plays for the Vikings. Brendon Ayanbadejo is a Ravens player that has spoken in favor of the MD same sex marriage initiative. It is Ayanbadejo’s advocacy that led the MD state delegate Burns to send a letter to the Ravens’ ownership telling them to make their player be quiet. The Ravens have not dignified the letter with a response.

  21. 21
    Hungry Joe says:

    Hilarious, brilliant, I love it, I laughed out loud twice … but in what way is anyone’s right to free speech being violated? “Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom of speech.” Is that happening here? If so, is it (somehow) because the asshat is a Congressman? I mean, he asked an employer to forbid his employees from expressing, publicly, an opinion on a political issue, presumably on pain of dismissal. Heinous, sure. But a violation of the First Amendment?

  22. 22
    japa21 says:

    Masterful, although I will continue to hate the Vikings.

  23. 23
    TD says:

    Burns is a Democrat. So not a “winger”. Definitely an ass, though.

  24. 24
    donovong says:

    HOLY SHIT!!! I don’t watch pro football, but after that I am watching every fucking Vikings game I can and will by me a Cluwe jersey to boot.

    Man, give me a toke off that cigarette!

  25. 25
    donovong says:

    @Hungry Joe: How is that NOT an attempted violation? The asshat is a public official.

  26. 26
    Auguste says:

    @Hungry Joe: IANAConstitutionalL, but as I understand it there’s been a lot of caselaw regarding Congress’ government’s use of its power for a chilling effect. The letter from the Maryland Congressasshole Delegasshole was on his official letterhead and vaguely-if-not-overtly threatening the Ravens if they refused to take action, which I would think qualifies as a chilling effect pretty handily.

  27. 27
    MikeJ says:

    @Hungry Joe: When a government official makes a request in his official capacity, yeah, it’s an issue. If he wanted to be a concerned individual citizen complaining he shouldn’t have used Maryland House of Delegates stationary.

  28. 28
    Brendan Montgomery says:

    I especially enjoyed:

    The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

  29. 29
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    A government official calling for suppression of speech, using government stationary to emphasize his official status.

    That strikes me as being the sort of thing that the framers were talking about here.

    I think his compare and contrast with the freedom of religion in the same amendment was to drive home the point: if this guy had called for some action against a player who was Muslim, it would have been just as egregious and totally out of line for a government official to utter such a thing.

  30. 30
    sharl says:

    FTR/FYI/FWIW, Litlebrit provided that link for our enjoyment in comments to an earlier post.
    Definitely frontpage-worthy, though, so glad to see it “promoted”.

  31. 31
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    This will probably be the highlight of the Vikings’ 3-4 win season, but it’s a good highlight.

  32. 32
    Ben Franklin says:

    @TD:

    you don’t know that, for sure :)

  33. 33
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    Clinton/Kluwe 2016!

  34. 34
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    Oh, and Kluwe is on the Vikings, not the Ravens, he’s just the most outspoken punter in the league. When he’s not too busy playing Guild Wars 2. Check out his Twitter account and you’ll see what I mean.

  35. 35
    taylormattd says:

    “lustful cockmonster”

    My new favorite phrase of all time.

    I suspect that phrase will be used heavily at Wonkette.

  36. 36
    Chasseur says:

    sorry you lost me at “punter”

  37. 37
    tjmn says:

    It’s feels good to be an expat Minnesotan.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Dennis SGMM says:

    Okay, I’m firing up the Miata and going out to buy a pack of Camels.

    Few times in my life have I read such an eloquent and thorough evisceration of a willful jerk.

    This goes up in my modest pantheon alongside Lloyd Bentsen’s “Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy, Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”

  40. 40
    pattyp says:

    They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population

    They won’t? Damnit! That was the whole reason I supported same-sex marriage in the first place. :-(

  41. 41
    Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    @taylormattd: Somebody needs to get this on a t-shirt, asap!

  42. 42
    tulip says:

    wow I need a cigarette too.

    Epic. And I can’t really believe the comments, all except one (that I read) out of a 100+ praise him.

    Nice.

  43. 43
    bruins01 says:

    Fellow UCLA alumnus! Only met him once, though. He has a significant internet presence, particularly on Reddit. His username is Loate. Funny guy.

  44. 44
    TheHalfrican says:

    You left out the best part of his letter:

    “Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement.” Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who’s “deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland”? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you’re going to say that political views have “no place in a sport”?

    I’m adding that to my profanity arsenal.

  45. 45
    Beauzeaux says:

    @MikeJ:
    “phases me not at all”

    It still fazes me that people don’t know the difference between faze and phase.

  46. 46
    jgaugust says:

    Both Chris and Brendon are UCLA grads (as a lifelong Bruin I can only commend the fact that both of them have excellent moral and education tastes).

    Also, someone on Deadspin posted something about this hurting the Vikings and yadda yadda yadda. At which point, Chris wrote back:

    “I’ve found that after eight winters in the brutal cold of Minnesota winters, the only thing that sustains me are the warm tears of anonymous Internet commenters. I suspect your vintage shall be exceedingly delicious, and I’m putting it in the special rack next to the Jackson 2011. Bon vivant!”

    I’m pretty sure that might be one of the all-time great comebacks. Chris Kluwe is, simply put, awesome.

  47. 47
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @TheHalfrican:
    “Holy fucking shitballs,” and “lustful cockmonster” in the same piece of writing?

    This man could be the next Molly Ivins.

  48. 48
    catclub says:

    @taylormattd: So there might be some laws that _would_ turn people into lustful cockmonsters?

    I am asking for a friend.

  49. 49
    Hungry Joe says:

    @Villago Delenda Est eta al:

    Look, I never engage in arguments here — I’d just like more explanation/clarification, because I still don’t understand how “Congress shall make no law … ” comes into play. Congress has not made a law. I’m not saying you guys are wrong — I’m just saying that I don’t get it yet. The “caselaw regarding government’s use of its power for a chilling effect” that Auguste refers to — that’s based on the First Amendment, or … ? (And should I change my moniker from Hungry Joe to Obtuse?)

  50. 50
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @MikeJ:
    Evangelical Christians are told that it is their duty to spread the “Good News”.

    My wife’s side of the family are extremely conservative Christians. When I went to my brother-in-law’s wedding, it was like another world; I heard aunts and cousins who were extremely concerned about how many churches were being established in some third-world country (I can’t remember which country it was, unfortunately). And the fact that my wife and I live in the most “unchurched” state in the country was also worrying to them.

    I don’t recall any talk of volunteering for soup kitchens, swap meets, or clothing drives, oddly enough…

  51. 51
    Gravenstone says:

    Went to look something up on Google, started playing with the interactive Star Trek doodle, and promptly forgot what I wanted to look up. My attention span, it is broken.

  52. 52
    runt says:

    But, but… The tone! It was so strident! And all those bad words!

  53. 53
    Mnemosyne says:

    Brendan Ayanbadejo has also responded, though with fewer rhetorical flourishes.

    @Hungry Joe:

    If so, is it (somehow) because the asshat is a Congressman?

    Using the power of the government — as in, your official position as a Congressman — to try and force someone to shut up is pretty much an open-and-shut First Amendment case.

    If the congressman had sent something on his personal stationery, you might be able to argue that he wasn’t trying to use the power of the government to silence someone, but once he put that on his official Congressional stationery, franked it, and sent it off, he abused his power.

    Let’s put it this way — if I wrote a letter on my company’s letterhead demanding that another company silence one of its employees, I would be implying that my company was the one who wanted it done. By writing in his official persona using official stationery, Burns tried to imply that he had the power of the government behind him when he demanded that the Ravens silence their player. Still think this was totally not an instance of government suppression of free speech?

  54. 54
    MikeJ says:

    @Beauzeaux: Meh. I do know the dif, but Friday afternoons aren’t prime attention paying time. Sorry to offend.

  55. 55
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    To be honest, at first I wasn’t quite sure what Kluwe was getting at…then it clicked. This guy was threatening the power of the state to suppress speech. He was using his position in an attempt to intimidate someone speaking out on an issue.

    He didn’t write that letter as just a concerned citizen, he wrote it, deliberately and with malice aforethought, as an elected official of the government. It’s the threat of state power to suppress speech he disapproves of, personally.

    Kluwe is pretty damn sharp on this point, IMHO. He saw exactly what this guy was trying to pull.

  56. 56
    Jibeaux says:

    @jgaugust: This man belongs on Balloon Juice, summonable by command whenever one of the more pitiful trolls appear. The batsignal will be cockmonster.

  57. 57
    Brachiator says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    But a violation of the First Amendment?

    A violation of the spirit of the First Amendment.

    And by what authority, legislative or otherwise, does a member of Congress have a right to ask for a football player’s opinions to be stifled?

    @Arclite: I read the whole speech and only have one thing to say about it.

    Holy fucking shitballs.

  58. 58
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @runt:

    You’re going to have to do better than that to get a date with Cokie.

  59. 59
    scav says:

    @Mnemosyne: Moreover, it’s also works off the premise that free-speech is only as free as your employer chooses to let it be (granted, contracts in certain areas may be more restrictive but looks and feels seriously off).

  60. 60
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Jay in Oregon:

    And the fact that my wife and I live in the most “unchurched” state in the country was also worrying to them.

    To me, that’s a point of pride. It ticks me off when Washington or Vermont edge ahead of us in that department. It’s more important to me than where the Ducks are in the AP College Football poll.

  61. 61
    catclub says:

    @Brachiator: of course, the entire red scare and HUAC were acts of congress that violated the first amendment to the same extent. I bet no congress
    members were prosecuted for that, either.

    It just stinks of abuse of power, but not enough that legislatures would actually write statutes to punish it.

  62. 62
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Brendan Montgomery: I can’t speak for the congressman, but I’m going to have to look up “fromunda”.

    I have new respect for UCLA. It is not often that I encounter a word I don’t recognize.

  63. 63
    Culture of Truth says:

    Put it another way – the letter is either entirely meaningless, or, were it to have any kind of effect at all, those effects, in practice, would violate the spirit, intent, purpose and protections of the liberties to free expression guaranteed by the First Amendment.

  64. 64
    asiangrrlMN says:

    Fuck yeah! That’s my homeboy. And, suck it, Burns!

    ::waves purple Vikings towel::

  65. 65
    Ken says:

    @burnspbesq: Yep, Vikings will cut him and the Ravens will sign him.. Evermore, evermore.

  66. 66
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @asiangrrlMN: +1

    Wearing by Bruin t-shirt as always.

  67. 67
    raven says:

    you rang?

  68. 68
    Hungry Joe says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Still think this was totally not an instance of government suppression of free speech?

    I think I’ve (finally) got it now. Thanks.

    But (as long as I’m here), one follow-up: Would that apply to any government official’s writing a similar letter — a member of the state assembly, say, or someone on a city council? That is to say, any government official at all, or at least, any one with any power to move the government (at whatever level) against someone? Or does it have to be Federal, something involving, at whatever remove, Congress?

    And on a scale of 1-10, 10 being “Gohmert-esque,” how dumb are these questions?

  69. 69
    karen marie says:

    @Hungry Joe: An argument could be made that it is a violation of the 1st Amendment because the complainer is a congresscritter who could, very theoretically, create problems for the team if they don’t shut Ayanbadejo up. It’s much less of a stretch to invoke the 1st Amendment on this than in the case of non-elected/governmental people calling for Limbaugh to be fired because he repeatedly called Sandra Fluke a slut. Sure, Burns doesn’t have the power to do anything directly but he is a government representative.

  70. 70
    GxB says:

    @catclub: That would be the Bachmann Lecherous Penile Terror Act of 2011 (they had to use legalese and toned down verbiage for the children’s sake.)

  71. 71
    Culture of Truth says:

    It would apply to an action by any public official, including, or especially, a police officer or unelected official.

  72. 72
    R-Jud says:

    I quite liked my husband’s comment on the Deadspin article:

    “Chris, I’d like to congratulate you on your ability to kick an inflated prolate spheroid right up into the lower atmosphere with a massive dose of precise, localized violence.

    And I think you’re good at punting, too.”

  73. 73
    RedKitten says:

    Multiple snarkgasms from reading that. Seriously. I want that man to have his own televisions show.

  74. 74
    SteveinSC says:

    @donovong: Me too. Holy Shit that was fucking awesome. That dumb ass state legislator should review his party affiliation and maybe don’t expect to get a Christmas Card this year from Michelle and Barack. Where did that boy get his education? Literate, snotty, and elegant. If he is up for adoption, he can be my second son.

  75. 75
    Bago says:

    @Lurking CanadianI’m just going to say that in urban usage, smegma is involved.

  76. 76
    RareSanity says:

    @Brachiator:

    And by what authority, legislative or otherwise, does a member of Congress have a right to ask for a football player’s opinions to be stifled?

    Whoa…whoa…football player? I thought he was a punter?

    (rimshot)

    I’ll see myself out…

  77. 77

    @Gravenstone:

    I love the little “e” in the red shirt in the transporter room crying cause he just knows he’s going to die. Funny as shit.

  78. 78
    greenergood says:

    “They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster.” -they’re scared that they might really LIKE being turned into a L.C., and then their wives, aka beards, will then leave them taking kids, cars, multiple houses, pools, boats, car elevators and Cayman Island accounts with them.

  79. 79
    MikeJ says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    Would that apply to any government official’s writing a similar letter—a member of the state assembly, say, or someone on a city council?

    Incorporation via the 14th covers local government.

  80. 80
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: ::waves foam middle finger::

    @burnspbesq: I’m not sure about that. He’s been with the Vikes for a long time. I hope the Vikes stand by him, but yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got cut.

  81. 81
  82. 82
    Hill Dweller says:

    OT: Sen. Grassley took to the Twitter machine to essentially accuse the President of being too stupid to talk without a teleprompter.

  83. 83
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    Would that apply to any government official’s writing a similar letter—a member of the state assembly, say, or someone on a city council? That is to say, any government official at all, or at least, any one with any power to move the government (at whatever level) against someone? Or does it have to be Federal, something involving, at whatever remove, Congress?

    The simple rule would be, you’re not allowed to use your position in the government to try and stifle someone’s free speech rights. There apparently was some confusion on this point in the early days of the Constitution and some states still had official state religions into the early 1800s, but it’s been pretty well established for a while now that government officials are not allowed to use their positions as government officials to try and control someone’s speech. (IANAL, but I think I’m on pretty solid ground here.)

    So, no, Burns does not have to get a law passed in Congress instructing Ayanbadejo to STFU in order to violate the First Amendment. He just has to (implicitly) threaten to use his government power to punish the Ravens because Ayanbadejo spoke out.

  84. 84
    RareSanity says:

    @burnspbesq:

    He’s not going to get cut…

    There are financial ramifications for a team cutting a player under contract at this point. As a lawyer, I’m sure you would agree that there could also be possible legal ramifications for the Vikings as well. It appears that Mr. Kluwe, would not go gentle into that good night, if he were cut over this.

    At most, he may get suspended a game or two.

    With the season that the Vikings have ahead of them, if anyone boycotted games because of it, how could you tell*?

    (rimshot)

    I’ll be here all week…don’t forget to tip your servers and bartenders!

    (*) – Sorry asiangrrlMN…it was cheap and easy, I know.

  85. 85
    RILnyc says:

    @Culture of Truth: You mean an elected official.

    The congressman sounds a little dim.

  86. 86

    I’ve just started following Chris on Twitter. Most recent tweet

    Chris Kluwe ‏@ChrisWarcraft Also I’ll be on MSNBC tonight around 8est on the Ed Schultz Show. My guess is we talk about secrets to successful tabletop miniature gaming.

  87. 87
    Hill Dweller says:

    OT: Grassley’s text: ‘As Romney speaks notice he is smart enough to do so wo TelePrompTer unlike obama’

  88. 88
    Violet says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: That’s so weird. The sound didn’t work for me in Firefox. Opened up IE and the sound worked fine. Anyone else have that problem. No, the sound wasn’t muted either on the Google page or my computer. Hmm..

  89. 89
    RedKitten says:

    From the general tone, I have a feeling that this will definitely NOT hurt the Vikings’ popularity. In fact, I’d wager that they’ve gained a horde of new fans.

  90. 90
    RILnyc says:

    @RedKitten: I’m going to learn something about football so that I can become a Vikings fan and root for Kluwe.

  91. 91
    Seanly says:

    @Tom Levenson:

    It’s true, but that invalidates their excuse when caught in flagrante.

  92. 92
    danimal says:

    @RareSanity: He won’t get cut.

    The Vikings are REALLY going to need a good punter this year. He’ll get plenty of work, and may wind up the team MVP if AP goes down again.

  93. 93
    Dennis SGMM says:

    Okay, I’m back. I went out and bought a pack of Camel straights. I will now smoke one on behalf of all of you non-smokers.

  94. 94
    gex says:

    While he is correct in saying it “won’t turn you into a lustful cockmonster” the fact that most of the gays on the right are closeted sure would make it LOOK like same sex marriage turned a bunch of guys into lustful cockmonsters.

  95. 95
    Culture of Truth says:

    @RILnyc: No, I mean unelected officials cannot also write such letters. Unless you disagree?

    Would you like such a letter from the head of the FBI?

  96. 96
    gex says:

    @RareSanity: Cheap. Easy. And Truthful.

  97. 97
    FridayNext says:

    I think others might have mentioned it, but I am not sure Smith can be described as a “winger.” I could not find “winger” per se in the BJ lexicon, but all “wing” words refer to the right wing. Burns is a Democrat and from what I hear very liberal on most issues.

    I think it is important to police one’s own ranks. Imagine the justified umbrage if Fox labeled a Rrep who said this as a Dem.

    Just sayin’.

    Unless of course you are saying he used to be in the 80’s hair band, Winger. He coulda been. The 80’s were, well, if not “wild” at least embarrassing.

  98. 98
    Catsy says:

    @Darkrose:

    I may have just become a lot more interested in handegg than I’ve been since the Super Bowl Shuffle Bears.

    I LOLed at this word.

  99. 99
    trollhattan says:

    @Hill Dweller:
    Just saw that. Does Grassley recall congressional Republicans trying to trade wits with Obama any time in the past? How’d that work out?

    http://www.dailykos.com/tv/w/002521/#35147797

    What a maroon.

    Also, too, making Bill Clinton “Secretary of ‘Splaining Stuff.”

    http://livewire.talkingpointsm.....cretary-of

  100. 100
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Violet: That sound thing has happened to me before. Don’t know why it does that.

  101. 101
    brendan sexton says:

    @MikeJ:
    True, especially since the Ravens, like so many pro teams, requires and receives a great deal of government assistance. for instance, tax exempt bonding and lottery proceeds to build the stadium, and so on. to see no ‘chilling effect’ in the congressman’s meddling would require willful blindness.

  102. 102
    The Sheriff's A Ni- says:

    @burnspbesq: He already has a blog with the local newspaper and has written for Deadspin before. I don’t think is going to hurt his career prospects.

  103. 103
    lamh35 says:

    interview with Miss Ann in Iowa today. It’s worth the read

    http://www.kwqc.com/story/1948.....transcript

    KWQC TV6: “What is your message to voters?”
    Ann Romney: “My message, really was, ‘women, I hear your voices,’ and the interesting thing about this economy, this tough economy that we’re going through, is that women have been hit the hardest. And I wanted to make sure that women of America knew that we have been across this country for the last year and a half and we are very aware of how tough it is for them…

    Ok, good start, then:

    KWQC TV6: “Here in Iowa, as you know, same-sex marriage is legal. Do you believe a lesbian mother should be allowed to marry her partner?”
    Ann Romney: “You know, I’m not going to talk about the specific issues. I’m going to let my husband speak on issues. I’m here to really just talk about my husband and what kind of husband and father he is and, you know, those are hot-button issues that distract from what the real voting issue is going to be at this election. That, it’s going to be about the economy and jobs…”

  104. 104
    lamh35 says:

    Oh, there’s more:

    KWQC TV6: “Do you believe that employer-provided health insurance should be required to cover birth control?”
    Ann Romney: “Again, you’re asking me questions that are not about what this election is going to be about. This election is going to be about the economy and jobs.”

    KWQC TV6: “Well, a Pew research poll shows those issues are very important to women, ranking them either “important” or “very important.”
    Ann Romney: “You know, but I personally believe, and this is what I’m hearing from women all across the country that they are going to look for the guy that’s going to pull them out of the weeds and get them job security and a brighter future for their children. That’s the message…

    KWQC TV6: “Well, I don’t want to pull you off any message. You just told a reporter who was questioning you in Cleveland that you want women to have a secure and stable future. I asked you about marriage and whether lesbian mothers should be allowed to marry. Isn’t marriage a part of creating a stable future?”
    Ann Romney: “You know, again, I’m going to talk to you about the economy and about job creation and about how my husband is the right person for the right time. This is going to be an election that is very important for women, and we are going to make sure that their economic prosperity is more certain under a President Romney.”

    http://www.kwqc.com/story/1948.....transcript

  105. 105
    Maude says:

    @lamh35:
    She is downright offensive.

  106. 106
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @lamh35:

    DAMMIT, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET ME TO WANDER OFF MY SCRIPT!

  107. 107
    Violet says:

    @lamh35: Have to hand it to that local reporter. Good job keeping after Miss Ann. Ann’s an idiot if she thinks women don’t care about birth control. That’s a big issue for lots and lots of women. I hope other reporters keep after her.

  108. 108
    LanceThruster says:

    @lamh35:

    Silly shill, what a pill.

  109. 109
    mechwarrior oline says:

    Holy shit, this guy plays Warhammer, that’s great.

  110. 110
    SatanicPanic says:

    @trollhattan: remember when Pence was supposed to be some sort of wonky genius? Hahaha

  111. 111
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @RareSanity: But, sigh, sadly true.

    ::drops Vikings towel::

  112. 112
    trollhattan says:

    @lamh35:
    Deal lord that’s weaksauce. I fear AnnBot12 is runnin’ DOS on an 8088.

    Can. Not. Multitask. Must. Load. OS. From. 5.25″ floppy.

  113. 113
    Mary G says:

    @lamh35: I can hear the noblesse oblige dripping out of her from here. She and her husband are two of the most tone-deaf people I’ve met in a long time.

    I love the part where she says that every woman she’s talked to around the country has agreed with her. Does she never think that a woman who doesn’t agree with her would never want to get within speaking distance of her? Or be allowed to by Ann’s handlers? Did she watch even a second of the Democratic convention?

  114. 114
    gogol's wife says:

    @Mary G:

    Why would she bother her beautiful mind with that?

  115. 115
    Darkrose says:

    @gex: “Lustful Cockmonster” sounds like it should either be a drink, or an amazing dessert.

  116. 116
    Darkrose says:

    @Catsy: I picked that up on the Giants forum I frequent. Bitching about how ESPN is all handegg all the time at the height of the baseball playoff race is a common pastime in our house.

  117. 117
    Mary G says:

    And the delegate who wrote the letter is African-American:

    Emmett C. Burns, Jr. is an American politician from Maryland and a member of the Democratic Party. He is currently serving in his 4th term in the Maryland House of Delegates, representing Maryland’s District 10 in Baltimore County.
    Born: August 26, 1940 (age 72), Jackson
    Education: Jackson State University, Virginia Union University

  118. 118
    Yutsano says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Must Google Kluwe when I get home. Or you may owe him a good long jubley flash. I approve of this, and FH#1 gave implied consent earlier. Woot!!

  119. 119
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Yeah, good for Kluwe; he sounds like a class act. I hope he has many opportunities to practice his craft during the upcoming season.

  120. 120
    1badbaba3 says:

    @trollhattan: That ass-kicking should have put that teleprompter shite to rest. And yet they wear their failures like those fucking flag pins (say it like Niedermayer) and dare us to laugh at their dumb asses.

    I mean it wasn’t even close. He does the Q&A off the top of his head (no notes with Joe not the plumber either), while they all read prepared speeches disguised as questions from notes they’re holding up for all to fucking see. And still they persist.

    They aren’t just maroons, they are ultra-maroons

  121. 121
    Darkrose says:

    @lamh35: Seriously? Jesus H. Christ on a motherfucking popsicle stick, do these people ever listen to themselves?

  122. 122
    Violet says:

    @Mary G: He’s 72? I guess that might be part of it. Not that it excuses it, but puts it in context. He’s also a Baptist minister, so there’s that whole religion thing.

  123. 123
    jgaugust says:

    @lamh35: *hits head repeatedly to try and get the idiocy out*

    I mean…what…? How on earth is anyone but the 27% voting for these fucking assholes?

  124. 124
    jayjaybear says:

    I’m submitting my prediction that the right-wing media will glom onto the intelligence-belittling paragraph of that letter (“get an intern to read it to you and explain the big words”) and go DEFCON 1 about Kluwes’s “racism”.

    Regardless, this is AWWWESOME!!!

  125. 125
    Central Planning says:

    @Lurking Canadian: this cracked me up: fromunda cheese

    Fromunda cheese is considered a delicacy in many 3rd world countries such as China and Canada, the southern U.S, and many unknown parts of the planet Mars. This special kind of cheese was first conceived in Australia hence the ‘fromunda’ in the name. Up until 1989 it was called Fromdownunda cheese, but ever since the Hawaii-Australian war of 1978, Australia has frantically tried to stop the phrase ‘from down under’ being associated with them in any way.

  126. 126
    mechwarrior oline says:

    @Violet:

    Oh I bet a lot of women don’t care about birth control. If you’re upper class or rich it’s not a fucking issue at all. Your daughter will never be denied birth control or an abortion.

    And hence all the female Republicans. Their daughters are never going to need planned parenthood, and their daughters will always have access to birth control and abortion. They have to worry about their daughters getting into a top school, and they need to make sure female law partners and CEOs get equal pay, paying the female staff equal pay just sucks money from their pocket.

    I’m 100% sure the type women Ann talks to don’t give a rats ass about free reproductive care or a womans right to choose, because it will never affect them or their families.

    Keep in mind we’re talking about people who buy pure bred horses for medical treatment, the tax break is more important to them than saving $20 a month on the pill.

  127. 127
    Steve V says:

    Doing the Bruins proud!

  128. 128
    xian says:

    @SatanicPanic: wasn’t Pence reputed to be one of the stupider people in Congress? (a low bar, I know)

  129. 129
    danah gaz says:

    @Hill Dweller: “OT: Grassley’s text: ‘As Romney speaks notice he is smart enough to do so wo TelePrompTer unlike obama’”

    That’s highly ironic considering Grassley had a ghost-tweeter post that for him.

  130. 130
    Mnemosyne says:

    @FridayNext:

    Well, I guess we get to upgrade him from “winger” to “asshat” if he’s a Democrat.

    Maybe he needs a long, personal conversation with John Lewis if he’s confused about civil rights.

  131. 131
    Origuy says:

    @xian:

    wasn’t Pence reputed to be one of the stupider people in Congress?

    Yeah, he was the one who said that walking through a market in Baghdad was as safe as going to a farmers’ market in Indiana. Never mind the chopper overhead and the Marines guarding him.

  132. 132
    burnspbesq says:

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I hope the Vikes stand by him, but yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got cut.

    I hope he doesn’t get cut, but this is the NFL we’re talking about here, and Goodell is going to be looking for someone to hang after the Saints players that he suspended in the bounty thing got reinstated.

  133. 133
    Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Maybe you guys can help me with this. If one school is Dem and one is Repub, which would USC and AUCLA be respectively? I’ve lived in LA for 13 years and I thought that USC tends more liberal and UCLA more conservative, but that was mainly based on anecdotal things like having a Republican boss who was a UCLA business grad, and a couple liberal jewish SC alumni friends. Just curious as to whether there is a notable difference in political leanings of the alumni between the two schools. My wife (who also has lived here for many years) thinks I had it backwards and that UCLA is the more liberal school.

    I will say that USC alumni I know are positively obsessed with their alma matter to a level that I consider to be far beyond normal.

  134. 134
    catclub says:

    @Mnemosyne: “The simple rule would be, you’re not allowed to use your position in the government to try and stifle someone’s free speech rights. There apparently was some confusion on this point in the early days of the Constitution and some states ”

    ever hear of HUAC? If that is not stifling speech ( plus free association) I don’t know what is. Anybody prosecuted for that?
    No way.

  135. 135
    elftx says:

    @lamh35:

    “….and this is what I’m hearing from women all across the country that they are going to look for the guy that’s going to pull them out of the weeds and get them job security and a brighter future for their children. That’s the message. ”

    Like he’s our daddy and gonna save all us poor wittle womenz

  136. 136
    burnspbesq says:

    @Uncle Ebeneezer:

    When I was there for law school 30 years ago, USC (other than the law school) was John Birch U. Since that time, a succession of powerhouse presidents turned it into what amounts to NYU with palm trees. That, plus Prop 209, plus a succession of highly successful fundraising initiatives, have flipped the historic balance. USC probably has a more diverse undergraduate student body than USC. And we all know that them damn brown kids are all a buncha pinko commies.

  137. 137
    Jax6655 says:

    @SteveinSC:

    The “boy” you are referring to is a grown-ass man who is a college grad and an NFL player. He’s not eligible for adoption.

    More importantly, he’s not a boy.

  138. 138
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Uncle Ebeneezer: Burnspbesq was in law school at “that place” when I was an undergrad at UCLA. While I have a great deal of distain for USC (can’t spell trojan without OJ) and anything associated with it, Burnspbesq’s assessement of the political leaning 30 years ago are probably correct. Since I was an undergrad, Prop 209 did reduce the number of Black and Hispanic students. However; the last time I was on campus, about 10 years ago, there are alot more Asians. There are some posters here that have more recent expirence, calling BruinKid. As far as your Rethug boss, you said b-school, that sums it up. My guess is there is probably not much difference with maybe UCLA being a bit more liberal.

  139. 139
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: One other thing you could look at is alums in politics. Watching TV yesterday I saw Karen Finney and Young Ezra on MSNBC, the only Bruin conservative I’ve seen is Todd Harris; OK, Tony Blankley was also a Bruin. At the DNC Kal Penn’s a Bruin. Not sure about those in politics from across town.

    ETA: The b-school used to be a building on campus, GSM. It’s still on campus, but it’s a complex of buildings that’s a bit more self contained and separate from the rest of campus.

  140. 140
    debbie says:

    Wow. Thinking that asking the owner to “inhibit” his employee was okay?

  141. 141
    Bloix says:

    You know who Burns is? He’s an African-American Democrat from Baltimore with a hell of a lot of seniority in the state legislature.

    And there’s no way that he and his constituents won’t read this letter as the screaming abuse of a racist:

    (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

    Telling a 60-year old black man that he’s illiterate. Clever.

    You know we have a same sex ballot measure coming up in November? You know we can’t win it without African-American votes?

    Just what we need: an out-of-state celebrity telling the black voters of Baltimore what they already believe: that gay rights is a cause for rich white people who look down on them. That it has nothing to do with them and no connection with their struggle for equality.

  142. 142
    Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Thanks guys. Sounds like USC/UCLA is more or less a push politically. So here’s the big follow-up question: what is the conservative school for SoCal? UC-Irvine? Riverside? Pepperdine, i assume.

  143. 143
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Uncle Ebeneezer: Pepperdine, absolutely. Possibly some of the Clairmont schools as well.

  144. 144
    BruinKid says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Howdy! Damn, the one weekend I don’t go on Balloon Juice…. Eh, had the Nebraska game yesterday that went well for us. :-)

    Now, I may be biased, but it feels like to us that USC has a much larger percentage of trust-fund babies, who generally tend to lean right because they’ve never experienced a single day as a poor person. Plus there’s the whole public versus private school, and in this day and age where right-wingers want to eliminate public education……..

    BTW, I do want to point out that in his letter, Kluwe mentioned Kenny Washington and Jackie Robinson, two historic civil rights figures in sports. They BOTH went to UCLA as well.

  145. 145
    BruinKid says:

    @Uncle Ebeneezer: Oh, you want REAL conservatism, try one of the smaller schools like Biola University, which literally stands for the Bible Institute Of Los Angeles. It’s where South Dakota Sen. John Thune (R) played college basketball.

  146. 146
    Lex says:

    Good friend of mine whined on FB that although he agrees with the substance of the message, the tone was … EXCESSIVE. He’s a doctor, so I told him he knows damn well where the smelling salts are kept and no, I won’t get them for him.

    If Kluwe had made the same point in more civil language, no one would have paid any attention. Now, thousands if not milions of sports fans — people who read Deadspin and watch EsPN and generally count as “low-information voters” — are talking about a fundamental civil right, even if not everyone agrees with Kluwe’s position. That’s a win right there.

    Besides that, I have unilaterally repealed the law that says I or anyone else must be civil to bigots. Or sociopaths in general, for that matter. Send a conservative to the fainting couch for Christ, y’all!

  147. 147
    patrick says:

    Yep, Vikings will cut him and the Ravens will sign him.. Evermore, evermore.

    Never, we love us some Kluwe….he also coined the term “Douchepickle” in reference to the Republican Speaker of the House in the MN legislature over the stadium legislation

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