I agree with Kathleen Geier at the Washington Monthly — this is a must read, but probably not in public if you’re easily upset. Andrew Solomon, in the New Yorker, on the pregnancies, and children, resulting from rape:
Writing in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, Dr. Felicia H. Stewart and Dr. James Trussell have estimated that there are twenty-five thousand rape-related pregnancies each year in the United States. While these numbers make up only a small part of this country’s annual three million unwanted pregnancies, the numbers are still extremely high…
I have been researching a book, “Far from the Tree,” that deals in part with women raising children conceived in rape, and have therefore met the living reproof to Akin’s remark. Life for these children may be extremely difficult. One of the few groups founded to address this population, Stigma Inc., took as its motto, “Rape survivors are the victims … their children are the forgotten victims.”…
For several of the women I interviewed, the crisis was exacerbated by the question of what rape means, by the idea that some rape is not forcible or legitimate. Men who have gotten away with rape seldom retreat in shame or repentance; they often play out their ghoulish exuberance by claiming their reproductive successes. Among the women I interviewed, such men’s bids for custody or visitation rights felt far more like acts of further aggression than expressions of care. Nevertheless, in instances where rape cannot be proven or charges were never filed, the threat of joint custody is real. Many women who cannot cope with prosecuting their assailant are then left without any proof of assault. In a time when DNA evidence can establish biological ties scientifically, this lack of evidence as to the social circumstances of conception can be a serious problem…
The aftermath of rape is always complicated. Many victims are simply in denial that they are pregnant in the first place: a full third of the pregnancies resulting from rape are not discovered until the second trimester. Any delay in detection reduces women’s options, especially outside major urban centers, but many women struggle with the speed of the decision; they are still recovering from being raped when they are called on to make up their minds about an abortion. The decision of whether or not to carry through with such a pregnancy is nearly always an ordeal that can lead, no matter which choice is ultimately made, to depression, anxiety, insomnia, and P.T.S.D. Rape is a permanent damage; it leaves not scars, but open wounds. As one woman I saw said, “You can abort the child, but not the experience.”…
There can be no question that, for some women, an abortion would be far more traumatic than having a rape-conceived child… But ready access to a safe abortion facility allows a woman who keeps a child conceived in rape to feel that she is making a conscious decision, while having the baby because she has no choice perpetuates the trauma and is bad for the child. Rape is, above all other things, non-volitional for the victim, and the first thing to provide a victim is control. Raped women require unfettered choice in this arena: to abort or to carry to term, and, if they do carry to term, to keep the children so conceived or to give them up for adoption. These women, like the parents of disabled children, are choosing the child over the challenging identity attached to that child. The key word in that sentence is “choosing.”…
Seriously: You should read the whole thing. And then maybe forward or facebook or otherwise bring it to the attenton of the Todd Akin defenders among your acquaintance.
aimai
Thank you for posting this link, Annie Laurie. I have encountered women on line who say that their rapist was given visitation for “his” child, even from prison. FB has also exacerbated the problem of women being stalked by former rapists who, in the old days, might have lost touch with you but who now can keep following you or your social network or even the child that was produced by the rape.
aimai
ellennelle
samantha bee’s segment on “choice” via interviews at the republican convention was simply amazing on this count. (wednesday night, i think)
Jess
In a way, I almost prefer the pro-lifers who are consistent that no fetus, even in the case of rape, should be aborted. I think for them, it really is about being pro-life rather than anti-sex. The argument presented in this article is a powerful one for defending the rights of rape victims to choose whether to abort or carry the fetus to term, but I think it’s important not to privilege the rights of rape victims to the point where we neglect to push back against the idea that pregnancy is a punishment for being sexually active.
Violet
That is a great article. This part is really compelling:
Republicans don’t seem to care about the baby once it’s born. They only care about the zygote or fetus. If the baby is born into a love-deprived hellscape because his or her mother was raped, well, that’s too bad. Mom should pull herself up by her bootstraps. Psychological damage from the rape? What’s her problem? Kid’s home not filled with love? Maybe a bit more Jeebus would solve that problem. And a bit more rod so the child isn’t spoiled.
Ugh. These people disgust me. Seems like if there is karma, they would have to experience this horror personally.
Ann Rynd
I have no Akin defenders that I know of among my acquaintences, but I do have a nephew who’s a Catholic and an Ayn Rand fanatic and who’s tickled to death that he has the same last name as the R vp candidate. This convoluted paradox of manhood went to an expensive Connecticut prep school, a fine expensive liberal arts college in Vermont and is married to a Massachusetts prep school allumna who has an expensive degree from an Ivy League university. They both would want to legally force you to carry your rapist’s child to term if you ever put yourself in the position of getting yourself raped. This is not just a hillbilly, redneck attitude. It’s endemic in some of the best (um) areas of well, Mitt’s old stomping ground.
Jess
Another interesting point to consider; Steven Pinker argues in the Blank Slate that rape is more of an evolutionary adaption than a pathology–in other words, a certain percentage of men are inclined to commit rape in order to perpetuate their genes* (consider the rapes that typically follow military conquest, for example), and so it’s not a big surprise that some try to claim the offspring produced by their rape. Disgusting to contemplate, I know, but if Pinker is correct, then I think we need to understand this human tendency better if we hope to contain it. (And no, I’m not suggesting that because rape is “natural” then it’s acceptable.)
*Ducks and other animals regularly commit rape as well for the same reason.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
OT (and really sorry to take over this particular thread, but there’s no Doctor Who thread – why not?): A series of shorts about Rory and Amy, called “Pond Life”, were released this week online. They lead into the marital troubles the Rory and Amy are having. Here’s a video containing all the links. (The website is devoted to Doctor Who, and if you really want some spoilers, you can read a review of the episode.)
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Violet:
Fixed.
To quote George Carlin speaking about conservatives
“If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”
And some of my glibertarian friends wonder why I don’t want to “compromise” with those assholes.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
I had a friend who became pregnant by rape. She carried the pregnancy to term and relinquished the baby for adoption. This is the solution offered as a panacea by abortion opponents, and she felt that for her it was the best of bad options.
But it also meant that her other children, who were old enough to understand that Mommy had another baby, couldn’t understand why their new sibling was sent to live with someone else. And that well-meaning nosy people (co-workers, etc) had seen her pregnant and would naturally ask her about the baby, and she had to choose between making something up or talking about a very painful experience that she didn’t care to relive. (And Goddess help her if she had to listen to someone question the “legitimacy” of the rape.)
If I’d been in her position, I’d have made a different choice, and Todd Akin has no business trying to tell me or anyone else otherwise.
Sarah
Thankfully, I don’t know anyone defending that piece of shit.
danah gaz
This is a wonderful article. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
danah gaz
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage: Shorter GOP: “Life begins at conception and ends at birth”
or maybe, updated for the Arizona GOP
“Life begins at ovulation and ends at birth”
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
The “rape as evolutionary adaptation/breeding strategy” argument was never very convincing. One would have to commit a lot of rapes to have the odds favor even one conception – while simultaneously avoiding retaliatory violence by the women and their families and/or ostracism by the community (which could prove deadly in a hunter-gatherer culture.) And none of that guaranteed she’d carry the pregnancy to term (crude methods of abortion have been around for a long time) or that she wouldn’t resort to infanticide.
Note also that a lot of rapes are committed against children, or (particularly in prison, of course) other males. And that a lot of wartime rapes end with killing the victim.
WereBear
I don’t know where my comment went, but google “Gisella Perl” and be astonished that what she did should even be a controversy.
burnspbesq
Great idea. However, I am pleased to report that there are no
ToolTodd Akin apologists among my acquaintances.geg6
The two excerts I’ve online from that article are too painful and I don’t know if I’ll be able to read the whole thing. It’s much too similar to my own experiences and it’s all wrapped up with my hatred of the Catholic Church.
I have yet to run into a woman who is defending Akin. But I’ll be posting it on FB for the benefit of some of my male acquaintances. They are a small minority of my FB friends, but I never mind rubbing their faces in my politics. If they don’t like it, they can unfriend me.
Violet
@danah gaz: No, life begins at the end of the previous menstrual period. That’s the new rule. A woman can now be pregnant before she ovulates.
Ben Franklin
Romulus organized the rape of the Sabine women to populate his new city. In much later civilizations, the rape of the Sabines was considered a noble story;
It’s appropriate that the earliest History of Rome finds rape to be expedient. Not to mention the sexual proclivities of the Early and Latter-Day Roman Catholic Hierarchy. The Rape Rooms of Republicanism leave me wondering if I’ve given them too much credit for being regressive.
f space that
This is sad stuff to read. It is gut wrenching. I am male and feel I have no business telling any woman what do to should she become pregnant. I have read on some other blogs that Paul Ryan was dog whistling on abortion during his acceptance speech the other night. Paul Ryan appears to be the papacy’s candidate, and I mean that with all the bad baggage that comes with it. I want to kick him in the balls, figuratively speaking of course.
BethanyAnne
A guy got my sister drunk at a party, took her to a back room, and raped her. She was aware enough to resist, but not to succeed. He got her pregnant. She and her friends met him as a group later, and made him pay the money for the abortion. She dropped out of that school, and us (her family) think it was from partying too much. She told me a few years later what had really gone down, but still won’t mention his name. She is surrounded by Texans who would kill him as a matter of principle if they knew who he was.
Fast forward 20 years. Her 14 year old daughter goes out to a party. Someone slips her something in a drink. She is returned home woozy, but goes straight to bed. No one notices, and she doesn’t say anything the next day.
Gradually, over the next few months, she begins to withdraw from things, and wear baggier and baggier clothing. People begin to wonder what is wrong, but no one manages to get her to talk. She complains to her brand new step father one day that her stomach is aching, and he takes her to the emergency room. She delivers my grand-niece. Turns out she has been terrified that if anyone found out about the pregnancy, they would force her to abort, or to give up the baby.
While she is in recovery, my sister’s new husband tells my sister “I know a family that wants that baby”
“Who?”
“Us! I ain’t scared of changing diapers on another kid”
So, grand-niece is now 7, and has been raised in a big extended family, but it’s clear that the now 21 year old niece is her mom. We never found out anything more about that night, and have no clue as to the rapist.
There’s no point here other than Akin can fuck himself. And my grand-niece is the cutest kid ever.
BethanyAnne
Oh, sister was sophomore in college when she was raped.
Dennis SGMM
Sweet Buddha sitting zazen on a mountaintop. How egotistical can people be to dictate anything to a woman who has been so profoundly harmed?
dmsilev
@danah gaz: I believe the Arizona GOP position is actually “Life begins two weeks before conception”.
Violet
@Dennis SGMM: People with zero empathy. You can bet all the money you want that if it happened to them or someone in their family that that would be “different”. They’d have that abortion pronto. But that wouldn’t count.
Knight of Nothing
Great article; thanks for passing it along.
BethanyAnne
I guess one thing I’ve wondered was if Akin would classify my niece’s rape as “legitimate”. She was drugged, and returned to us pregnant. Is that real enough for him?
Beth
Such a moving article, so sad. I will always be haunted by the Rwandan woman asking, “Can you tell me how to love my daughter more?”
Such mortal sadness.
Sly
@Violet:
You give them far too much credit; they don’t care about the baby before its born, either.
But God does! God absolutely loves Him some unborn babies. And you know what happens when you don’t do what God likes? Bad things happen, and He hasn’t really made a habit of sparing the mere righteously indignant or even those expressing the slightest amount of compassion towards the people He’s decided deserve to die in unimaginably painful ways. Bad things happen to them, too. But if you’re a sufficiently narcissistic bully, He might just let you into the the Celestial Theme Park when you die.
That’s what they care about.
? Martin
@BethanyAnne: No. She went to a party where there was alcohol. She should have been more responsible.
That’s likely how he would view it.
Dennis SGMM
@Violet:
I attended High School in the mid-Sixties. Back then the “good girls” who became pregnant went to Mexico for an abortion. It was called a “Vacation”. The “bad girls” who got “Knocked up” and went back alley or tried something like forcing the contents of a bottle of bleach into themselves just died.
One of the many things that I now find incomprehensible about my own country is that people actually want a return to those days.
Mike E
See also: Cleansing, ethnic. Bosnia c 1992
raven
@Dennis SGMM: Remember the 30 Rock with John McCain’s support from the “Committee to Re-Invade Vietnam.”
Dennis SGMM
Shucks, I’d go back in a minute if I could afford the airfare.The people there, even the ones who were shooting at me, were some of the best folks I ever met.
raven
@Dennis SGMM: Goin back ain’t re-invading but you knew that. A buddy of mine, MACV officer, moved near China Beach 2 years ago. Dude is the LAST person I would have thought would do that but he seems happy.
chrome agnomen
i hope this doesn’t upset too many people, but it is my belief that the republican party needs to be wiped off the face of the earth.
raven
Can we have a new thread please.
Roger Moore
@? Martin:
I’m sure you’re right. Remember that the Republicans have been trying to narrow the exception to “violent” rape, which is probably what Akin meant when he talked about “legitimate” rape. If the woman doesn’t fight back hard enough to wind up in the hospital with injuries, it’s not violent enough to count as real rape. Besides, Akin obviously believes that if it were a real rape she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.
Violet
@Dennis SGMM: It’s been long enough that most people don’t remember those days. It’s like they didn’t exist. And people think it wasn’t that bad, couldn’t have been like that, people were exaggerating, no one would do that, etc. It would take it all happening all over again before people believed it.
People can be so dumb.
raven
@Violet: Hence my vietnam reference.
Villago Delenda Est
It really is no wonder that scum like Akin have the attitudes they have.
Because here you are, giving those women agency again, the one thing they cannot ever have, according to creatures like Akin.
PurpleGirl
@Jess:
@Mike E:
See also, Bangladesh during its fight for independence. Pakistani troops raped women of all ages to get them pregnant because they knew that in the tribal culture the women would be forced out from their families.
Rape as a weapon of war has nothing to do with desire for sex or children.
Maude
@chrome agnomen:
I agree. They have gone too far and they are dangerous to the rest of us.
Dennis SGMM
@Violet:
That is so sad. Having been raised by a wonderful woman I just loved women generally all of my life. The girls to whom bad things happened in those benighted times were just erased so it is sadly not surprising that people choose not to believe how it was back then.
The human cost of their finding out will be beyond toll.
SBJules
@Dennis SGMM:
I’m a 6ties person too and some girls came back from Tijuana sick and unable to have children.
Violet
@Dennis SGMM: The people who will bear that cost are not the ones making the decisions now. That is what is so wrong about it.
mai naem
I know this thread is about rape but some of the basis of this is women and womens rights. It’s pretty simple. You take control of birth control and you control women. You load down a woman with a bunch of kids and it’s much harder to manage on your own. On top of that, you rip the safety net and it’s even harder. You are a whole lot more dependent on the father.
rikyrah
That article was powerful. thank you for tipping us to it.
Jennifer
I related this about someone I know who was born as a result of a rape over at roy’s a week or so back, so if you saw it there, skip on past.
The rape-baby I know is now 42 and has been a narcissistic sociopath her entire adult life (and perhaps before). Her mother was raped by an uncle (her mother’s sister’s husband) in 1970, back in the good ol’ pre-Roe v Wade days. Rape-baby grew up constantly hearing how her mother wished she had never been born and how she had ruined mom’s life; in addition, her aunt hated her and let her know it, even when she was a small child. Mom went through a series of bad marriages which were also blamed on having had a rape-baby at age 18.
Fast forward to the rape-baby’s adulthood: she follows pattern and gets pregnant at 18, though in her case it was intentional in order to snag what she saw as a “good catch”, the son of a local business owner. Two years in, she meets a guy she considers a better catch, cheats on hubby #1, and moves in with the new boyfriend. This pattern continues to this day; by the time she was 32 she had been through 4 failed marriages, all of which ended when she cheated on her husband(s) with the next guy who she thought had more money. By the time her daughter was 18, she had lived with 8 different men who weren’t her father, she had been raped at 15 because mom left her home alone while she was out trying to snare the next meal ticket, and she tells about one of her earliest memories from age 2 or 3 being waking up while her mom and the boyfriend of the moment are having sex in the same bed she’s sleeping in – her mother, not missing a beat (or stroke in this case) says “shhh, baby, go back to sleep” and continues on screwing the boyfriend.
The daughter got married at 18 to get away from her mother and now has 3 children of her own – and her mother is not allowed contact with any of them, since the daughter knows all too well what her mother is. In the 10 years since the last marriage, rape-baby mom has been through another 4 men, and remains convinced despite all evidence that she’s smarter, better-looking, and more deserving of all the good things life has to offer than anyone else, despite the fact that she can’t hold a job because she won’t show up to work and she’s made her living off of trading sex for a place to live and food to eat, even though it’s never engendered in her any gratitude whatsoever – as soon as she sees a more promising mark, she cheats on whoever she’s with who has been supporting her for the past several years and dumps them without a backward glance.
She also claims to be staunchly pro-life, but that’s only because she knows her mother would have aborted her if it had been an option, and how much poorer the world would have been had she not been in it. She does some meddling in trying to convince young girls who are pregnant not to have abortions – not by supporting them, offering them a place to live or anything, understand, but just as another thing she dabbles in – she’s so special that a word from her is enough to change a life, you know.
She might have been a horrible person even if she hadn’t been born as a result of rape, but I’m sure being constantly told that she wasn’t wanted didn’t help.
Shrillhouse
That article was shocking and deeply saddened me. It should be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.
RedKitten
Yup. Taking away women’s reproductive rights has the nifty side effect of taking them pretty much entirely out of the workforce. So now we don’t have to have good, God-fearing American men on unemployment while some ball-busting bitch sits in a corner office.
Mission accomplished.
Knight of Nothing
@Jennifer: horrifying and tragic story. Have you heard of Rebecca Kiessling? Ms. Kiessling was conceived in rape around the same time as this woman of whom you speak. Kiessling, now an attorney for Personhood USA, has devoted her life to making abortion illegal. Interestingly, when she tells her own story, she minimizes the impact that her (Jewish) adoptive family had on the formation of her character; she seems to place her fortunes in the circumstances of her birth and her finding of Christianity. It is truly bizarre.
Mnemosyne
@Jennifer:
Frankly, I usually assume that to be the case with most of the pro-life activists out there — they seem to be so frantic at the idea of a world without them in it that I suspect their mothers expressed to them that they never would have been born if their mothers had had any other options.
Also, to me this article makes the cruelty of denying Plan B to rape victims even more clear, since at least some of these women could have avoided having to make a decision in the first place if they had been able to prevent the pregnancy from happening at all. (I say “some of them” because the Plan B success rate is about 75% since it depends on suppressing ovulation — if you’ve already ovulated, it’s too late for Plan B.)
AHH onna Droid
Anne Laurie, thank you for posting that article. I read it on my way home from work and it was thoughtful and informative.