Getting down on it in Tampa

It’s been a busy week – saying goodbye to my Australian friends, being strapped into my special travelling gurney, wheeled on to a plane and stuck so full of Ambien that I didn’t wake up for two days, and then making myself nice for the Republican convention.

At the moment, I’m holed up in my newly refurbished room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa. More on Mitt Romney’s damp loserpalooza later.

For the moment, I just wanted to follow up on a request from Narcissus, who said that we should have a contest for the best GOP craigslist personals ad.

Done. What are the rules then, kiddies?

I propose a few basic ones.

First, in the interests of gender equality and sexual liberation, entry is open to personal ads of all fleshly, legal permutations, be it f4m or m4m or “not sure with a side of whips and a Ronald Reagan mask, please sir”.

Second, for the benefit of those in Tampa, I also suggest we accept grindr screenshots. My grindr has shown nothing but star-sparkled bottoms, eagles and the flag of the good old US of A for the past three hours.

Obvious trolls and fakes will be mocked.

Have at it.

ETA: It’s quiet out there. Well see how we go as the week progresses. I did like JGabriel’s find:

28 replies
  1. 1
    Ash Can says:

    Is that Paul Ryan?

  2. 2
    Comrade Mary says:

    Hi Sarah! I am envious of your gurney.

    Looking for a cute Rebublican [sic]
    There is not one republican guy around here that is fun and exciting to be with. I was hoping with more to choose from I could have some fun this week. Maybe even meet someone for the future. It seems when a date finds out my political preference we hit a roadblock. Very discreet, safe and ddf.

    So I guess what he’s looking for is something short-legged and toothless, but not female. (Sorry, Lil Bub.)

  3. 3
    Yutsano says:

    I don’t have the strength. Or intestinal fortitude. Or, honestly, enough alcohol.

    Hi dear. I trust your ever so fantastic sleuthing skills, especially if Gloria decided to stop being an agoraphobe and is attending with her son.

    @Comrade Mary: Lil Bub iz cute kitteh!!

  4. 4
    JGabriel says:

    Sarah @ Top:

    For the moment, I just wanted to follow up on a request from Narcissus, who said that we should have a contest for the best GOP craigslist personals ad.

    Hey, ladies …

    RNC Bouy Toy – m4w – 55:

    RNC got you all tuckered out nothing to do, no where to go after shouting Romney for the umpteenth time…Don’t just retire to your room alone, how about a little 1on1 action with clean, discreet, disease free SWM ready to please. What are you waiting for the sooner you reply the sooner we can hook up for some adult fun…Lol ;-) Be sure to put “Ready, Willing & Able” in the Reply line to filter out the Spam bots thanks…

    And it is accompanied by a picture of Snoopy dressed as Joe Cool.

    Yes, Snoopy.


  5. 5
    MikeJ says:

    If anyone if going to be near the convention, screen shots of grindr might be fun.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    MikeJ says:

    This person just stole a pic off the web. Tsk, tsk.

  8. 8
    Mike in NC says:

    Been to Florida several times. Orlando, Jacksonville, Ft. Lauderdale, etc. Wife went to college there. I think I even have an old uncle still alive in Sarasota. We might be visiting Key West soon. Never made it to Tampa, though.

  9. 9
    JGabriel says:

    Any Republican females? – 33

    Any cute, single Republican girls in town for the RNC or local girls want to meet up some time this week? I am an interesting, libertarian-minded capitalist pig in Tampa. I like Romney, I love Ryan, and I think Obama is the devil. I am not socially conservative at all. …

    They’re never socially conservative when looking for a date. And what a date, folks:

    Things we could do: Check out local bars or restaurants, debate/argue with protestors, go to see this “2016: Obama’s America” movie, there’s also a movie festival at Channelside next week and Jeff Bridges is going to be there …

    Yeah, dude, because Jeff Bridges doesn’t have better things to do than be your wingman.


  10. 10
    karen marie says:

    @boonagain: That got yanked quickly. Next time remember copy-paste is our friend.

  11. 11

    @boonagain: “This posting has been flagged for removal”?

  12. 12
    MikeJ says:

    @karen marie: I still had it open, have it saved now. It’s the dick pic that makes it.

    Professional guy visiting for the RNC staying at the Westin river front with business partners! I CANT HOST! I have a nice room at the mens club Tampa right now for the night most likely. good looking 5 foot 6 one 45lb guy work out, healthy and safe fun only

    (This NSFW pic was attached to the original post)

  13. 13

    I’ll put up another post later with favorites. It looks pretty quiet out there so far.

  14. 14
    JGabriel says:

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: Yeah, I suspect there won’t be a lot of RNC related hook-up ads until tomorrow and/or Tuesday.


  15. 15
    Narcissus says:

    Oh wow I’m famous

    I’ll keep looking but I think maybe the hurricane scared them off

  16. 16

    I’m thinking if you wanted to target Republican pols, we could just repost the Stanger’s “Seeking ???” and call it a night.

  17. 17
    dr. bloor says:


    They probably all took their ads downing after hearing they were a lock to get blown by some guy named Isaac.

  18. 18

    @Narcissus: You and Sarah must be privy to some Internet meme I was unaware of.

    How did “IS HE HECK” spawn this thread? I’m pretty confused about that.

    ETA: Does this have something to do with Dr. Who?

  19. 19

    @danah gaz (fka gaz):

    I suspect the two are not related, and I was just using the last Narcissus post I saw to link to. However, if someone wants to explain the link to me as well, I’d be happy to agree with them.

  20. 20

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: oh. well still, I googled IS HE HECK, and it’s apparently a “thing”, but I do not understand it. Kids these days. =)

  21. 21
    Narcissus says:

    That was just my favorite part of one of the amazon reviews.

    I think it was scented ink pens

  22. 22
    Narcissus says:

    RNC – Married straight horned up guy? Need hot bj? – m4m – 42 (South of downtown)
    Date: 2012-08-20, 11:28PM EDT
    RNC…love to do my duty!! Are you a married straight guy in need of an expert bj? Been awhile since you blew a load? Or you’re a plain ole horndog? Expert cocksucker here. No questions asked. Media guy?
    Hairy hot 42 married guy who loves to suck here. I’ll be out so I can come on by tonight. You will feel a lot better after shooting a load. Military, uniformed, LEO, married, college guy and redneck are all hot especially if you are horny and hung. Let’s do this now. this is real deal…all you have to do is take the first step.

  23. 23
    karen says:

    Since this is an open thread and there are so many smart people here….

    I have an Ipad 3 and an iphone. To me the chargers look exactly alike but supposedly the ipad 3 charger is more powerful because it has higher voltage.

    Can someone tell me the difference between the two in a way where I can look at it and know? Something descriptive so I don’t mix the two up?

    Yes it’s a stupid question and I feel stupid but I can’t seem to find a visual descriptive difference on the net.

    Thank you to anyone who can help me. It’s greatly appreciated because I’m driving myself crazy.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Cassidy says:

    @karen: Not stupid at all. As one of the many ADD people, I’ve learned to put things in the same spot because of what you described. My Iphone charger never leaves it’s outlet. I can’t imagine the amount of nothing induced anxiety I’d be feeling with what you described. lol

  26. 26
    Ronzoni Rigatoni says:

    Good lawd! Craig’s List was pressured months ago to drop “escort” ads, and under protest, they did so. FREEdom! But was not intimidated. FREEdom!

    ed. note: I can’t afford ’em, but “I am not a Republican,” and besides, I am too old (and my wife and my girlfriend would kill me).

  27. 27

    […] aside from the Gay Joe Cool that JGabriel found, the only ad that really made me laugh was this […]

  28. 28
    PattyP says:

    A “bouy” toy? Is he a bad speller offering some sort of nautical adventure?

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