In an interview with proud professional courtier-to-power Piers Morgan, Romney and his sidekick LovelySpouseAnn explain, one more time, that wherever he’s succeeded, it’s because Mitt Romney is Just That Wonderful. And wherever it may look, to the uninformed observer, as though Mitt Romney did not succeed, it’s because some people don’t believe America is the Greatest Country in the History of the World. Not — Romney repeats this many times — that he would commit the “tremendous breach” of criticizing Some Other Guy’s policy while on foreign soil. But Romney looks forward to implementing a new, improved, deeply patriotic foreign policy: Strength, Through Resolve! Because what makes China so strong, today, is their tremendous commitment to free enterprise…
It’s like somebody put all the preferred neoconservative buzzwords, plus a dictionary of MBA-speak, into a blender set on Puree. (Also, LovelySpouseAnn seriously needs to work on her “adoring political helpmeet” expression. Not every presidential candidate’s wife can be Nancy Reagan, but right now Ann would lose a competition with Laura Bush.)
Maybe, as Jon Chait suggests, “Mitt the Underminer” generally feels that we mortal meatsacks just do not meet his standards:
… Romney is a rich, handsome, successful man who has to slog through all kinds of tedious crap to achieve his goal of being president….
The undermining gaffe occurs when Romney is trying to ingratiate himself with somebody, yet can’t help but point out that their standards of excellence don’t rise to his own. Sucking up to people is just a completely unnatural act for him.
Speaking of unnatural acts, if Seattle’s Stranger and Jesus’ General are to be believed, one of Romney’s handlers needs to explain to him that certain social norms have changed since the Victorians made up sentimental doggeral about “Good King Wenceslas“.
Not that those handlers aren’t acting a little shell-shocked already:
After a disastrous 48-hour news cycle in London, the Romney campaign “wants the world to know” that they are prepared for a “Saturday Obama Surprise,” of unknown specifications.
“We want to communicate to the world that we are ready for whatever they throw at us,” a Romney adviser told BuzzFeed unsolicited…
When asked why Romney’s camp expected a sneak attack from the Obama campaign, the advisor said their guard was up because of “how they’ve conducted themselves in the past.”
So far, the campaign’s preparations have entailed assembling an army of surrogates to fill the message void while Romney is out of the country, unable to attack Obama himself because “politics end at the water’s edge.”
The surrogates — including several of the names mentioned to be on Romney’s VP shortlist — “are ready to contribute to driving the economic message – with no apologies,” the adviser said. “We understand the other side doesn’t want to talk about the economy, but we’re not going to let them get us off message.”
Seriously, guys: Are you going to try and convince us that Romney needs help going “off message”?