The McCain camp, who ought to know, blames Bill Kristol more than anyone for the whole regrettable string cheese Sarah Palin incident. Now Kristol says that the one thing that the Romney campaign needs right now is another stunt veep with baggage.
I know what you are thinking: you might as well ask a woodpecker what to do with an old tree. When he says you ought to hit it with your head until bugs fall out, it will sound a lot like what he said last week regardless of anything that happened in the interim. No bugs? Concussion? It fell on your garage? You’re not hitting it enough! Nonetheless, your thinking is wrong. These two things are not the same. Unlike Sarah Palin, Condoleeza Rice is a well-known quantity with little charisma, poor stage presence and no natural constituency and whose only notable achievements include missing the greatest terrorist attack in American history and then lying repeatedly about it, and referring to George W. Bush as ‘my husband.’
No doubt team Romney will get right on that.
Brian R.
Plus, as I believe Tina Fey pointed out, when Condi Rice talks, it always sounds like she’s about to cry.
kindness
Ahhh yes, a black closeted lesbian would help Romney out sooo much right now.
SatanicPanic
So he’s found a new way to make a stupid suggestion? Billy is evolving, I guess.
Nemesis
Any time Condi’s name is mentioned, its just a chance to kick the VP can down the road another few days.
Its Portman, since the non-bath-salts-taking face-eater dood is currently unavailable.
NonyNony
Jeebus – Kristol really wants to hold onto that “Most Wrong Pundit In the USA” trophy he’s got on his mantle, doesn’t he?
The universe does not love me enough for Mitt Romney to pick Condoleeza Rice as his running mate.
ETA: As Nemesis above says – it will be Portman. It will be a boring white man with boring, conventional Protestant religious beliefs who will not upstage Romney in any way and that is Portman to a tee.
Mattski
Ahhh the String Cheese Incident. Well played (soft clap)
chopper
ಠ_ಠ
amk
When will wingnut welfare queen billy boy reach the peter’s principle level of incompetence?
Violet
I hope the Republicans haven’t figured out that they should always do the opposite of whatever Bill Kristol says, because he’s always wrong.
Spaghetti Lee
The Sarah Palin Incident-much less fun than the Noodle Incident.
taylormattd
HAHAHAHAHA. They probably think this will get all them African Americans to vote for Romney. LMAO.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I can’t get to the link, but I find it hilarious that Old Man McCain blames Kristol for Sarah Palin, or it would be hilarious in a world where Bill Kristol and John McCain were treated as the prat-falling nitwits that they are.
catclub
“No doubt team Romney will get right on that.”
So team Romney, which Rupe Murdoch has already blamed for the upcoming failure in November, is still smarter than bloody Bill Kristol.
There are levels of stupidity beyond our ken.
Chris
@Spaghetti Lee:
No one can prove that was me!!!
Davis X. Machina
@catclub: But not beyond their Ken.
amk
btw, what happened to the blue eyed boy from WI ? Is he already dead after one thread ?
eric
@Chris: Let’s go exploring!
balconesfault
Kristol wants a malleable neocon as VP. In terms of the bench of malleable neocons, Condi is a step up – she would at least understand the bogus theories she’s parroting.
Culture of Truth
Palin is the reason it’s been narrowed to Pawlenty & Portman. Or Ryan.
eric
This had to be the result of random monkey keystrokes, because no sentient being in 21st century America could believe that Romney would name Rice enough to intentionally put it in print. I would bet that she is even behind Bill Kristol on Romney’s list.
Ben Cisco
Just when you think Bloody Bill cannot possibly dig any deeper – out comes the shovel again. The man is a BEAST, I tell you.
Redshift
@amk:
That would be around when he got his first job.
It never occurred to me before — the Peter Principle says every man rises to his level of incompetence, but it doesn’t say none of them keep rising after that…
Hungry Joe
My father’s old saying applies: If Kristol says wheat, buy barley.
trollhattan
Oh please, oh please, oh please…ad infinitum.
I can already envision her unique convention acceptance speech–complete with a special wink to the crowd while seated at a piano.
NonyNony
@amk:
There is zero chance that Rice will be the VP pick. This is thread for mocking Bill Kristol and his wrongness – in truth I strongly doubt that Rice would even WANT to be a VP. She’s not a politician, she’s a policy wonk. That’s not a job for a policy wonk who isn’t also a politician.
Ryan is a far more likely choice than Rice, and he’s not very likely. He has about 200% more personality than the Mitt-bot 3000, and the Mitt-bot is unlikely to consider that an asset. My money is still on Portman as the most likely contender, provided he actually wants the job.
Amir Khalid
I guess Condoleeza Rice is no worse a choice than anyone else. Indeed, her “little charisma, poor stage presence and no natural constituency” will keep her from outshining Mitt. From what I hear, it is very important to Mitt that he not be outshone. So these characteristics, which any other presidential candidate would see as weaknesses in a running mate, are actually arguments in her favor.
jayjaybear
Well, first of all, she’s near. Same as THAT ONE.
Second of all, she’s pro-choice, even if it is a pretty limp and passive pro-choice.
Third of all, she’s got…one of…THOSE things. The V-word! Can’t have that. Palin was an anomaly in that respect. (“In what respect, Charlie?”)
MattF
Once upon a time, Bill Kristol was taken sort-of-seriously. His writings were published in the NYT and the WaPo. His advice to Republican candidates was considered, and sometimes followed.
And then… maybe you haven’t noticed… and then… people stopped paying attention. The newspapers looked at his writings and saw they were just a mashup of ‘war all the time’, political hackery, and plain old stupidity. The Republicans candidates and the moneybags supporting them took a good look at Sarah Palin. It didn’t look good for Bill Kristol. It doesn’t look good for Bill Kristol. It will not look good for Bill Kristol. Not ever again.
feebog
At this point, who the fuck cares which dimwit the Romneybot 2.0 and his clown car of advisors annoints as VEEP? I can’t see it making any difference in the Electoral Collage vote count, so it is just something for the pundits to fill in column space and air time until the conventions. I’m betting that it won’t be TPaw; his performance as a -shill- surrogate has been pitiful beyond belief. So yeah, Portman or some other dude most of the country has never heard of.
karen marie
@taylormattd: Plus wimmins. Don’t forget the wimmins.
The Dangerman
Proposing Rice as VP should be grounds for making you pee in a cup.
VOR
I am still holding out for Michele Bachmann. Please, please, please.
Todd
OT, but I was completing bankruptcy petitions today for a guy who began speaking of the notion of extending the tax cuts for those with incomes under 250K. As he was going through the paperwork, he was explaining that 250K really isn’t big money, and how the tax increase would cause each 250K a year businessman to lay off two employees.
*sigh*
Linda Featheringill
@balconesfault: #18
Interesting point. Is the Granny Starver a neocon?
scav
Romney’s not exactly managing a a campaign at this point, it’s more of a bag your own strategy and positions tactic. The only thing he’s managing is the fund-raising, everything else is outsourced or DIY.
NonyNony
@Amir Khalid:
WHAT? No it won’t. She outshines Mitt by her very existence.
She’s a black Republican woman who is by training an academic. Mitt is a male white Republican Mormon who is by training almost a caricature of modern capitalism.
Rice is someone that the press naturally gravitates to as “interesting” even though she has no natural charisma and a poor stage presence because she’s a paradox. The question “why would a black female academic be a Republican” is one of those questions that political journalists like to pick at like a scab.
Mitt has no paradoxes. There’s nothing unpredictable about Mitt. The only “weird” thing about Mitt is his religion, and there’s nothing paradoxical about it so talking about it just makes you look prejudiced instead of enlightened. If he were, say, a Jewish Republican or a Buddhist Republican that would be interesting. But he’s a Mormon Republican – so are about 90% of the other Mormons. No big deal.
If he picked her the conversation would shift to her because her paradoxes make her a bright shiny object to reporters. The conversation would become all about her, and that isn’t really what Team Romney needs.
That’s why I predict Portman. He’s completely conventional and will interest the media for the requisite 30 minutes it takes to report on who he is and why he’s a “great choice” as a VP. And then they can forget he exists, as every good VP candidate should be generally forgotten.
Ben Cisco
@trollhattan: Bugs did it better.
The Moar You Know
The Romney team have an insurmountable problem in that they have to try to find a way to elect an unelectable candidate, but they’re not stupid enough to add to their miseries by following advice from the team of mental giants that gave us the Tundra Tyrant-in-Training.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@MattF: Kristol was briefly hired by Time Magazine at the height of the Iraq war, right after Time launched their blog. The commenters went nuts (I myself was banned for calling him “Bloody Bill” Kristol) and Joe Klein defend the hire (I am not making this up) by saying that Bill Kristol had nice manners. I’ve tried to google up the Klein post, but I can’t find it.
KG
@NonyNony: nobody really wants to be the Vice-President. It’s actually the worst job in politics (there’s a reason why LBJ said it was worth a bucket of warm piss). You don’t get to introduce legislation, which means you have no accomplishments if you choose to run for president later (not to mention the fact that if you lose re-election, your chances of getting the nomination drops to next to nothing); hell, you don’t even have control over your own (rare) votes – if you disagree with the president on a bill that goes 50-50 in the Senate, guess whose opinion gets top priority?
In that regard, I have to say, Cheney was actually the “perfect” choice for VP. He had no designs on running for office again, he was more than happy to be a guy that was “only there to provide advice and gravitas” to a rather inexperienced pol in the white house. Really, the last thing you want in a VP nominee is somebody with ambition.
Anyway, in that way, Rice is an interesting choice. The problem is, she would probably be a bad choice because she reminds everyone of the Bush Administration, no one really knows her positions on issues outside of what she did as national security adviser and secretary of state, and if she gets outed on the campaign trial, the entire GOP base would simultaneously explode and implode.
amk
@NonyNony: I am betting on that NM govnor gal, susana martinez. wimmin, latino, possible swinging of a blue state and of course queen ann’s saying it’ll be a wimmin – all indicate it will be her.
Patricia Kayden
“no natural constituency”
She may get a look from some Black women. Not me, but some others.
kindness
Phyllis Schlafly – When you need a prospective running mate that is old and shriveled up.
Michelle Malkin – When you need a prospective running mate that Teahaddists support (and wank to).
Cokie Roberts – When you need a prospective talking head you can follow down the drain like NPR is doing.
Bill Kristol – When you need to drag Israel & the US into a 3rd World War only Galtians will survive, well then he is your go to guy. For the rest of us, he is a silver spooned idiot, just like his father.
redshirt
The thing to remember: Don’t underestimate their shocking stupidity. They probably do consider Rice a potential candidate cuz: Black, and Wimmin. That would take away all of Obama’s supporters in one swoop!
Mr Stagger Lee
Personally I like to see Jim DeMint or Jim Imhofe. Might as well go batshit crazy with the tea party, or the perfect crazed VP Steve King of Iowa, or if Mitt RobbedMe wanted a malleable Veep, Louis Grohmert of Texas
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@KG: @NonyNony:
Chris Christie wants it, Tim Pawlenty wants it, I think Evan Bayh reeeeeally wanted it .My theory: he would’ve needed it to become a national figure and run for the Big Chair that his daddy and David Broder both agreed should he his. I think Pawlenty’s in the same boat. Christie I don’t get, I think he’s too obnoxious to win the nomination much less the presidency, but I think his ego and his other boosters don’t get that, and he certainly doesn’t need help getting media attention.
eric
@amk: the problem with that analysis is that you dont take the offer if you have larger aspirations. I think Martinez would MUCH rather be a senator than a failed VP candidate or even the actual VP. From where I sit, the odds of a Romney win are no more that 35-65 and that is a sucker bet for someone that is no worse than 50-50 for a senate seat.
eric
@Patricia Kayden: yes the black lesbians.
eric
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Pawlenty wants it because he is out as a candidate for Senator and Christie wants it for the same reason Romney wanted it because he knows his own state wont elect him again.
The Moar You Know
@Todd: This is why I hate this country sometimes. A guy – business failure – sitting in front of you, signing his own bankruptcy papers, has the balls to say that a Nobel-prize winning economist is wrong and that what this country needs is more of the same shit that has driven us right to the edge of fiscal collapse.
Perhaps the bankruptcy filing process ought to include a caveat that you have to shut your fool fucking mouth for seven years about matters on which you are provably not qualified to speak of.
amk
@eric: Of course, whether she’ll accept ‘the offer’ is a different question.
trollhattan
@Ben Cisco:
“Condi in the theater with a candelabra” was my winning Clue combination last night. I’m going to be thinking of her doing a Liberace impression the rest of the day, and that’s a pretty strange thing to have stuck in one’s head.
KG
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Pawlenty and Bayh are interesting examples. You may be right, though I still think no rational politician would want to be Vice-President. The costs outweigh the benefits if you’re looking to run after being VP. Historically, it’s not even a great spot to run for president from – Nixon and Gore lost while running as sitting VPs, Bush I won but had a lifetime of experience he could fall back on. And I agree with you on Christie, it’d be stupid for him to be VP, he gets more exposure as a governor of a fairly big state and he doesn’t have to subordinate his style/positions for someone else.
Again, it just doesn’t make sense to me why anyone would want the job.
JPL
Call me Bill Kristol but I think she can sway moderates who are afraid of the war on women. Evangelicals aren’t going to care because they trust the top of the ticket to screw the female folk who are getting a little uppity these days, thinking they have rights.
Ben Cisco
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
That was you? Awesome.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@eric: Pawlenty’s fish flopping on the dock, and he’s the only one who doesn’t know it. It’s actually kind of fun to watch. Even if he weren’t a drip, and even if Minnesota had as many EVs and were in play like Ohio, Romney will never forgive him for “ObamneyCare”.
Omnes Omnibus
@amk: My eyes are green.
Amir Khalid
Condi’s something of an oddity, true. But her personal and political history are nowhere near as weird as Mitt the person. And as a VP pick she could help Mitt seem more human, somewhat.
Of course, this is all moot, and Kristol is wasting time by suggesting her. She’s a policy wonk not a politician, as everyone but Kristol is aware, and has already said she’s not interested in elected office.
The George W Bush administration picked her, a Russia specialist, for NSA and SoS — at a time when they needed someone more knowledgeable about the Middle East. They were, or more precisely Cheney was, running foreign policy from the White house with DoD having a bigger say than State. They wanted a token officeholder to ignore, as they did Colin Powell. A VP Rice in a Romney administration would also serve out her vice-presidency as a powerless token.
Older_Wiser
Kristol is an idiot. It’s going to be Portman, another dull, racist white guy just like Rmoney. Try as they might, the Rs will never live down the last 20 yrs, in spite of the self-hating minorities and women they managed to recruit to their evolving bankrupt political philosophy.
The Moar You Know
@KG: Yeah, that “waddling after public school teachers, yelling obscenities at them, while simultaneously trying to choke another ice cream cone down your gullet to soothe your lack of a daddy” style of his isn’t going to be subordinated by anybody.
My small bet is that after he gets tossed out of Jersey this next go-round, he’ll never hold elected office again. This nation likes fat people, and it likes assholes, but it doesn’t like them mixed together in one package. “Vice-President Cartman” isn’t going to sell real well.
Scott S.
I actually had a dream last night that they picked Tom Tancredo for the veep slot, and I woke up with a fairly joyful smile on my face.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: So are my kitteh’s. I don’t know why blue eyes get all the press. Green or hazel eyes are just as beautiful if not more.
Spatula
But would the Obama campaign have the cojones to mention any of that?
As the O administration couldn’t be bothered to prosecute the woman for her crimes, wouldn’t that indicate that as far as they are concerned, she’s cool?
Haydnseek
I propose a Celebrity Death Match with Condi and Ryan, after Ryan wins the Eddie Munster look-alike contest. They have no chance. I was on board for Portman, until I discovered it wasn’t Natalie. Look for Pawlenty as the dark horse. Yeah, he’s boring. Yeah, he’s an idiot. But Portman? A zombie has a stronger pulse.
Haydnseek
I propose a Celebrity Death Match with Condi and Ryan, after Ryan wins the Eddie Munster look-alike contest. They have no chance. I was on board for Portman, until I discovered it wasn’t Natalie. Look for Pawlenty as the dark horse. Yeah, he’s boring. Yeah, he’s an idiot. But Portman? A zombie has a stronger pulse.
Linda Featheringill
@Mr Stagger Lee: #45
Republican VP choice:
“Personally I’d like to see Jim DeMint or Jim Inhofe.”
Oh yes. Let’s get the senator from Oklahoma! He’s white, he’s male, he’s boring, he can deny climate change while Oklahoma turns into a desert.
Ben Cisco
@trollhattan: I aim to please.
Haydnseek
In the end, I don’t think the VP will matter that much. They will be voting against Obama. Nobody likes Romney, but he’s not Obama, and that will be enough. Yes, this sounds simplistic, and maybe it is, but I think that will be by far the deciding factor.
Sal
Man, you are so wrong! If Bill Kristol’s pushing it, count me in! Mitty ought to take his advice and nab Condi pronto. In fact, Mitt should name Bill his chief advisor, and do everything Bill says. This will guarantee a positive outcome to the election (well, Tony ‘The Feral Cat’ Scalia and his herd of Inquisitor wannabes might jump in, but hey, who says God doesn’t play dice with the universe once in a while?).
Haydnseek
In the end, I don’t think the VP will matter that much. They will be voting against Obama. Nobody likes Romney, but he’s not Obama, and that will be enough. Yes, this sounds simplistic, and maybe it is, but I think that will be by far the deciding factor.
Haydnseek
In the end, I don’t think the VP will matter that much. They will be voting against Obama. Nobody likes Romney, but he’s not Obama, and that will be enough. Yes, this sounds simplistic, and maybe it is, but I think that will be by far the deciding factor.
Haydnseek
In the end, I don’t think the VP will matter that much. They will be voting against Obama. Nobody likes Romney, but he’s not Obama, and that will be enough. Yes, this sounds simplistic, and maybe it is, but I think that will be by far the deciding factor.
runt
My all time favourite Bill Kristol anecdote:
Haydnseek
I keep getting kicked off. Just testing. Sorry.
Villago Delenda Est
@amk:
There is no level of incompetence for wingnut welfare pundits like Kristol.
They are immune from the sort of pressures to not fail that the serfs are subjected to.
Which is why when this maggot’s head is hoisted on a pike, I will do a Snoopy dance.
Villago Delenda Est
@Haydnseek:
This is, essentially, it.
Rmoney, as unpalatable as he is to the Rethuglican drooling base, is not near.
Which is all they care about right now. They’ll deal with the magic underpants thing after they’ve reclaimed the WHITE House for the master race.
Villago Delenda Est
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Reinhard Heydrich was considered to be a very charming, cultured man, by the Berlin diplomatic set back in the 30’s.
NotMax
@KG
That wasn’t LBJ who made the famous description of the office, it was John Nance Garner, FDR’s 1st V.P.
jayjaybear
@Villago Delenda Est: I won’t do a Snoopy dance…I’ll just follow Vir Cotto’s lead…
[Babylon 5]When Morden asks Vir, somewhat mockingly, “What do you want?”, he receives this answer: “I’d like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this [smiles and waves his fingers at Morden]. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?”[/Babylon 5]
Villago Delenda Est
@Redshift:
The Peter Principle assumes an actual meritocracy. In the early 70’s, that was a reasonable assumption.
However, in the 80’s and beyond, things changed. The top tier is much more into nepotism than they once were. Once you’re in the CEO club, you can’t fail, you can only be failed. Hence people like Carly Fiorina who have destroyed once great enterprises, yet waltz away with millions, and are still considered to be in the club.
Turgidson
@The Moar You Know:
I LOLed. Fits so perfectly.
Craig
It’s all Kabuki; flogging Dr. Rice for veep is just a play to drum up some of that hip young-person, big-tent cred. There is zero chance of her being tapped, and everyone with a lick of sense knows it. Dr. Rice is a pro-choice lesbian, and either alone is the kiss of death for a national GOP candidate. Now, other things equal, I think it would be grand to have a pro-choice lesbian at Number One Observatory Circle. But how many Republican voters agree?
Rand Careaga
LBJ was responsible for another veep-related (well, at once-remove, and two year’s after his death) euphemized quip: regarding the intellect of then-House Minority Leader Gerald Ford, Johnson observed that he “couldn’t fart and chew gum at the same time.” The first verb was rendered as “walk” in the public reporting of the remark. Of course, compared to Bill Kristol, Ford looks like Richard Feynman…
Ash Can
In all seriousness, I can’t think of any likely (possible, even?) VP picks that wouldn’t be a blazing train wreck for the GOP ticket. If Mitt can keep irritating the media stenographers by refusing to give them anything of substance to gossip about in print, maybe they’ll be less likely to grovel at the feet of his VP nominee and call said nominee out, at least half-heartedly, as the exploded Port-a-Potty mess s/he is most likely to be.
Spatula
@Villago Delenda Est:
There is no level of incompetence for wingnut welfare pundits like Kristol.
I certainly agree with you, but let us not delude ourselves that failing upward for pundits/political types is limited to the Rethug side of things.
Exhibit 1: Donna Brazile
Calouste
@NonyNony:
Actually, I think that is exactly what Team Romney needs. They sure as hell shouldn’t want the conversation to be about Romneybot3000, and anything that takes any attention away from the Romneybot3000 should be greeted by Team Romney with open arms. Problem of course is that Romneybot3000 itself is programmed that everything should be about Romneybot3000, so what Romneybot3000 wants is not what Team Romney needs.