Just Ignore the Lies and Focus on the Stupid

James Fallows was reporting on Romney during the national catastrophe that is WaWagate, and unlike the boys on the bus he gives us a little context:

Romney on the stump, at a historic iron furnace in Cornwall, near Lebanon, using the hoagie-ordering experience at the WaWa as a parable for what’s right and wrong in America. (Wrong: a doctor told him that he had to fill out a 33-page change-of-address form, several times, to get the post office to send his mail — including reimbursement checks — to his new location. That is what happens with government-run organizations where you have “no competition.” Right: at WaWa, great hoagies. Also, very efficient touch-pad ordering system. This is what you get with competition.)

WaWagate is the state of the art in Romney coverage: he tells a giant fucking whopper that anyone who’s lived in the real world can tell you is a lie, and the media ignores it because it doesn’t fit into one of their pre-determined slots for a reportable campaign moment. Since Poppy Bush said something dumb about a grocery scanner back in 1992, all antennas are up when Romney talks about checking out at a convenience store. Never mind that even the most feeble minded among us know that the change of address card at the Post Office is less than a page long, as it has been for at least 30 years. Bitching about the Post Office is considered “acceptable Teatard pander by a Republican candidate”, so Romney can get away with mouthing shit that would make your crazy uncle blush. If anything about the Romney candidacy scares me, this does. His pack is so inured to his daily lies that he’s getting a giant pass.






77 replies
  1. 1
    cervantes says:

    Actually the change of address form is a 3X5 card.

  2. 2
    Ash Can says:

    Never mind that even the most feeble minded among us know that the change of address card at the Post Office is less than a page long, as it has been for at least 30 years.

    As I was reading the excerpt, I was thinking, “What the hell kind of operation is this ‘doctor’ running, anyway, that he has to do all this to change his address? The CIA? The New Jersey mob? Belarus?”

  3. 3
    JPL says:

    So a doctor lied to Romney and Romney was gullible enough to believe him. That says a lot about our the Republican presidential candidate. Can’t wait to see what John Bolton tells him.

  4. 4
    Keith says:

    Maybe Romney was talking to a guy with 33 houses.

  5. 5
    liberal says:

    @JPL:
    Based on my Bayesian prior, I think it’s far likelier that Romney lied.

  6. 6
    the Conster says:

    Whatever works to kneecap the lying sumbitch is A-OK with me. If it ends up that everyone finds out that not only do you not want to have a beer with the lying human simulacrum, you couldn’t if you wanted to because he wears magic underwear, who cares?

  7. 7
    beltane says:

    @Keith: Given the people he associates with, it’s not unlikely.

  8. 8
    c u n d gulag says:

    Mitt:
    “And you can pay for your grinder hoagie, with something called a “Debit Card” instead of cash.

    It’s like a “Credit Card,” am I right?
    Amazing!

    When did they start giving credit cards out to people who’d want to order a submarine sandwitch hogie, anyway?
    They only used to for the rich“Job Creators,” am I right?

    When did Diners Club start letting the riff-raff have a card to get sandwiches?

  9. 9
    General Stuck says:

    I can’t wait till Romney goes windsurfing, and Candy Crowley tells us how real men do it, using their massive cock as the board, and broad hairy chest to catch the wind.

  10. 10
    Keith says:

    OT: I am suffering through Rep. Barrasso spouting out talking points re: Marco Rubio/DREAM and has said “bipartisan – Republicans and Democrats alike” *4* separate times. These morons can’t even change their phrases around; I guarantee you will hear that phrase word-for-word from at least 5 Congressmen in the next week.

  11. 11
    satanicpanic says:

    This guy was supposed to be smarter and more electable than Michelle Bachmann but apparently either of them will believe whatever stupid shit people tell them.

  12. 12
    JPL says:

    @Keith: So why don’t they pass the Dream Act. The we wanted to and now can’t cuz the pres was mean doesn’t work.

  13. 13
    Keith says:

    @JPL: They’re really trying to make that excuse work. At least CNN is not buying into it (although I really wish they’d bring on someone brighter than Barrasso so they can at least argue the issues rather than respond to the same talking point being repeated over and over again). Hell, even CNN’s Tucker replacement was trying to fill in Barrasso’s blanks out of what I can only assume is embarrassment over his memorex performance.

  14. 14
    the Conster says:

    @General Stuck:

    And that the magic underwear peeking out from underneath the wetsuit is just the coolest.thing.evah.

  15. 15
    FlipYrWhig says:

    Apparently the doctor’s complaint actually had to do with forms related to Medicare and Medicaid claims, not the mere act of changing addresses for mail forwarding. I think the discussion I saw on the subject was at No More Mister Nice Blog.

  16. 16
    General Stuck says:

    @the Conster:

    Thanks for that little detail, which will take some extra splainin’ to the rubes.

  17. 17
    MattF says:

    This morning’s WaPo has a front-page article (no linkee) with the headline: ‘Romney–now ‘one of the guys’–basks in new enthusiasm from GOP.’ So much wrong there that I don’t know where to begin. So I will just get on with my life.

  18. 18
    Fouten says:

    @cervantes:

    No kidding, I’ve had to use it 3 times and it works like friggin MAGIC! Your redirected mail shows up in your new mailbox with a yellow sticker with your new address on it and there is no extra charge!

    You can even use that mail to indicate which business don’t have your new address yet, it’s bureaucracy that works.

    Dollars to donuts R-Money has never been inside a post office in his life.

  19. 19
    FlipYrWhig says:

    Oh, and, incidentally, the Republicans’ fixation on combating “voter fraud” is all about adding layers of paperwork. So, eventually, they’ll start complaining about how Democrats make us all satisfy the whims of government bureaucrats just to do something as simple as voting. If there are government bureaucrats left by then.

  20. 20
    Woody says:

    Our local post office in Minnesota couldn’t be more user-friendly. Change-of-address is a half-page doc, stop-mail can be done online.
    How about this for stunning: I recently used the State Department’s very well-designed website to renew my passport. It took Costco longer to produce my photos than it did for me to complete the ‘paperwork’ – about a half-hour for the photos. Received the new passport in less than five weeks.
    It’s long been my belief that public/private is misdirected; the real issues on the consumer end depend on the size of the organization.
    And there is no “Government”. There are many Governments.

  21. 21
    myiq2xu says:

    @General Stuck:

    I can’t wait till Romney goes windsurfing, and Candy Crowley tells us how real men do it, using their massive cock as the board, and broad hairy chest to catch the wind.

    Fap now and get it over with. But wash your hands afterwards.

  22. 22
    Patricia Kayden says:

    “so Romney can get away with mouthing shit that would make your crazy uncle blush. If anything about the Romney candidacy scares me, this does.”

    Or that despite his mendacity, he may win.

  23. 23
    Fester Addams says:

    A doctor told him that, huh. FFS, one doctor needs two full timers just to deal with the insurance companies. But that’s all good because, competition!

  24. 24
    different-church-lady says:

    And zero mention of the fact that Wawa hoagie is made out of things you wouldn’t feed to a dog.

  25. 25
    General Stuck says:

    @myiq2xu:

    That’s lame, even for a goat fucker like you. What? Lambert not meeting your needs? So you come here for some extra abuse? And who you gonna vote for, Mr. True liberal, or whatever you are? Obama or Romney. I’ll be voting Obama with pride. Bet your a Romney man. eh? clean hands, indeed.

  26. 26
    different-church-lady says:

    @c u n d gulag:

    When did Diners Club start letting the riff-raff have a card to get sandwiches?

    When they realized they could make money on it.

  27. 27

    @General Stuck:

    Don’t feed the Puma, it will only end up shitting on the rug.

  28. 28
  29. 29
    SFAW says:

    made out of things you wouldn’t feed to a dog.

    Yeah, but this is Romney we’re talking about, after all. It’s not as if he ever cared about what he did to a dog.

    As long as he didn’t ask them to put Dijon mustard on the hoagie, the Rethugs will think Ol’ Mitt is jes’ a reg’lar guy.

  30. 30
    rikyrah says:

    the video at that place was hilarious, and sometimes watching Willard, you think it’s a series of skits by The Onion…but, you realize it’s real.

  31. 31
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    oh hai, you can change your address WITHOUT PAPER!

    (I know there’s a medic-program detail I’m leaving out, but it spoils the joke. Also, too, I wonder if the doctor’s form was so long because he was getting medic-program reimbursements, i.e., sucking at the gov’t teet?)

    And it’s just a sammich.

  32. 32
    Michael Demmons says:

    I changed my address online at the Post Office’s Web site. Took me two minutes.

    It would have taken less if I could type worth a damn.

  33. 33
    Zach says:

    My guess is that he moved and needed to complete HIPPA authorizations for transferring records for himself and his wife. That could come to 33 pages of total documents probably, none of which are particularly annoying to fill out, but sometimes you have to wait for a some administrative person to be free to double check and make sure you filled everything out and we all know people with half a billion dollars shouldn’t wait for anything.

  34. 34
    Before you says:

    changing your address with medicare does require you to complete 7 pages of a 33 page form, and then a 6 week wait for the changes to be made. Of course, you can submit those changes 90 days in advance. And all of this is done through a 3rd party, for-profit administrator, but OMGFREEENTERPRISE.

  35. 35
    Betty Cracker says:

    It’s not only a dumb trope that was old the first time Ronald Reagan said it, the evidence of how false it is surrounds us. Ask the soldiers who were electrocuted in the showers KBR set up for them in Iraq how that “better living through private sector competition” thing is working out. Oh wait, you can’t. They’re dead

  36. 36
    The Thin Black Duke says:

    Bottom line, it doesn’t matter.

    It doesn’t matter how many examples people see of how creepy and out of touch and stupid Romney is.

    In spite of the overwhelming evidence, more than 40% of the idiots in this country are going to vote for him anyway.

    It brings to mind that classic Richard Pryor routine where his wife catches him in bed with another woman and he says, “Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?”

    I think we know the punchline to this sick joke. And it ain’t funny.

  37. 37
    ericblair says:

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Oh, and, incidentally, the Republicans’ fixation on combating “voter fraud” is all about adding layers of paperwork.

    It’s like this for a lot of shit, because of the mainly gooper hysteria that someone, somewhere could get something they don’t deserve. Therefore, we have to add a whole shitload of bureaucratic checks to make sure this doesn’t happen. Then we don’t fund the increased staff that would be needed to implement the new processes. Then the goopers bitch that government is broken, and we need to get rid of it. Then the goopers get re-elected by credulous pinheads and proceed to create more government overhead.

    By definition, rich people deserve everything on the planet, so no worries there.

  38. 38
    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik says:

    @The Thin Black Duke:

    To wit, I’m surrounded by people who are totally convinced that Obama is the super-megaest tyrant in the history of ever because he wants the ILLEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAALSS!! vote and apparently wants the country to suffer for his success.

    I mean, fucking seriously, I’m bombarded every day and surrounded every day by assholes who really do genuinely think that GOP intractability in Congress proves just how super-uber-hyperpartisan the Democrats are and keep convincing me when it comes down to it, this entire fucking country really just loathes all fucking Democrats to high fucking hell.

  39. 39
    SFAW says:

    mainly gooper hysteria that someone, somewhere could get something that the Rethugs think they don’t deserve.

    Just picking nits. The rest of your comment is spot-on.

  40. 40
    Chris says:

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik:

    I mean, fucking seriously, I’m bombarded every day and surrounded every day by assholes who really do genuinely think that GOP intractability in Congress proves just how super-uber-hyperpartisan the Democrats are and keep convincing me when it comes down to it, this entire fucking country really just loathes all fucking Democrats to high fucking hell.

    Meanwhile you’ve got Romney and Rubio saying that they were planning to do the exact same thing, but somehow this is proof that they should vote for Romney and Rubio anyway.

  41. 41
    g says:

    @Ash Can: What the hell kind of operation is this ‘doctor’ running, anyway, that he has to do all this to change his address?

    It sounds like what he’s complaining about might be requirements of his insurance company. Which is, of course, a private business.

  42. 42
    jonas says:

    @FlipYrWhig: if a doctor whines that Medicare requires a lot of form-filling to do relatively routine things, it might have something to do with stuff like this.

  43. 43
    g says:

    And yes, I just submitted a vacation hold for my mail online.

  44. 44
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @g:

    It sounds like what he’s complaining about might be requirements of his insurance company. Which is, of course, a private business.

    Well, that’s different! Competition! Invisible Hand! Free Enterprise! Job Creators! Efficient!

    Did I leave anything out?

  45. 45
    Tokyokie says:

    Maybe the form is more complicated to fill out if you’re rerouting the check to a drop box in the Cayman Islands, from whence it’s wire-transferred to an account in Zurich.

  46. 46
    ChrisNYC says:

    Imagine how much better things would be if we could only shop for and choose our mail provider.

  47. 47
    dcdl says:

    Heck, you can even go online to change your address. You can even have them stop your mail and resume on specific dates. Easy-peasy! Or possibly to complicated for Romney and conservatives. Probably why if they even move they never get their mail except junk.

  48. 48
    dmd76 says:

    My guess is that the doctor Romney spoke to had to fill out one of the CMS-855 form (the 855I is ~30 pages including title/instruction pages) to inform the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services of his practice’s change of address. I guess the aggrieved doctor didn’t bother to visit the CMS’s website or read the first page of the form, where one learns that there is web app that allows him to do the same thing.

    Can one order Wawa hoagies on the web?

  49. 49
    MosesZD says:

    Actually, you can just do it on-line now:

    https://www.usps.com/umove/

    Really easy.

  50. 50
    Rafer Janders says:

    Don’t worry, the crackerjack team at Sullivan’s place is on it:

    I’m just not sure about that second hand story Romney told about it taking a businessman filling out a federal government form to change his address. He says he had to fill out 33 pages, then had to fill them out again. It wasn’t just a change of address form (that couldn’t be simpler); it had something to do with federal reimbursement for optometrists. Is it true? Could a reporter find the optometrist and check it out?

    Yes, could a real reporter please check it out? Sullivan’s Army of Interns would do it but, you know, they’re too busy with, um, something or other to take five minutes for a phone call.

  51. 51
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Rafer Janders:

    They’re busy wanking to Rmoney’s lies.

  52. 52
    Thomas says:

    To be fair, it’s entirely possible that the doctor sends things (especially checks) out as “Do Not Forward”, and he (the private doctor) required Romney to fill out a 33-page CoA. Of course, this makes his point about government inefficiency totally bogus.

  53. 53
    myiq2xu says:

    @General Stuck:

    Dude, you’re the one getting all excited about Romney’s massive cock.

  54. 54
    chopper says:

    i wonder if this is the same wacky 7-foot-tall doctor that was whispering crazy into bachmann’s ear a while back? if so, guy sure makes the rounds.

  55. 55
    different-church-lady says:

    @myiq2xu: Point of order: he’s getting all excited about Candy Crowley getting all excited about Mitt’s Massive Missile™.

    And you’re getting all excited about that. This onion’s got a lot of layers of weird…

  56. 56
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @myiq2xu:

    You’re the one who seems intimately familiar with the dimensions of it.

  57. 57
    Martin says:

    @Keith: See, and that’s how the Dems should hit back on this.

    “Millions of Americans lost their homes and had to move due to the irresponsible fiscal behavior of the previous administration, and millions of Americans unfortunately now know that the change of address card at the post office is just a 3×5 card. Mitt Romney however tells us that it’s 33 pages long. Perhaps its 33 pages long if you have 33 homes, and elevators for your cars, but for the rest of us, it’s just a 3×5 card.”

  58. 58
    MonkeyBoy says:

    Apparently the GHWB “amazement” at the supermarket scanner was mostly made up by a NYTimes writer who wasn’t there. See Snopes. However there was a photo of the event which was use to portray Bush as out of touch with ordinary Americans.

  59. 59

    @Keith: this kind of comment is why I wish JC wasn’t so opposed to a comment-upvote system.

  60. 60

    I don’t know if it’s different for Cadillacs but I recently was involved in the purchase of an automobile and the free market competition has been notably impotent when it comes to reducing the length of required documentation, paperwork, forms etc. Of course if I just threw a bundle of thousand dollar bills at them the way Mitt does, or had one of my servants do it for me, I guess I too would suffer such delusions about capitalist magic!

  61. 61

    @Rafer Janders: Could a reporter find the optometrist and check it out?

    Oh lord, no. This election doesn’t need Joe the Optometrist.

  62. 62
    Argon says:

    Second lie of the story: ‘Hoagies’ from a Wawa, in southeastern Pennsylvania? Seriously? Those aren’t hoagies, they’re meat sandwiches at best. Pale imitations of the real thing. I bet he got his with mayonnaise…

  63. 63
    Scribe9 says:

    Aside from the “33 pages” malarkey, Romney is citing the post office as an example of how government becomes inefficient because there is “no competition.”

    But the post office does have competition. Lots of it. And the competition has hurt it. Yet the US Postal Service still does its job at least as efficiently as is competitors — at a lower price.

  64. 64
    Joel says:

    Change of address is also online. Super easy.

    The USPS website is kind of weak, though. Wish they made buying mailing labels a lot easier. Also wish they didn’t outsource online stamp purchases to Stamps.com. Mitt Romney probably likes the latter idea.

  65. 65
    Joel says:

    Change of address is also online. Super easy.

    The USPS website is kind of weak, though. Wish they made buying mailing labels a lot easier. Also wish they didn’t outsource online stamp purchases to Stamps.com. Mitt Romney probably likes the latter idea.

  66. 66
    EJ says:

    If you want to use a touchscreen, you can fill out the change of address form online. They even give you coupons for Lowes’ and whatnot for doing it.

  67. 67
    karen marie says:

    @FlipYrWhig: Maybe the process wouldn’t be so difficult if there weren’t so much fraud. Just saying.

  68. 68
    General Stuck says:

    @different-church-lady:

    PUMAs were born absent a sense of humor, with a shrink wrapped thinker to go through life with. You can find them on any big city street corner, faithfully waiting for Elvis to show up, giving meaning to their insipid lives.

  69. 69
    Jebediah says:

    @MattF:

    This morning’s WaPo has a front-page article (no linkee) with the headline: ‘Romney—now ‘one of the guys’—basks in new enthusiasm from GOP.’

    What a fucking triumph. A presidential candidate’s own party having some enthusiasm. Here comes the Juggermitt!

  70. 70
    Unsympathetic says:

    @Scribe9:

    Don’t forget that FedEx and UPS outsource package delivery to USPS for the very rural areas.. the parts so economically inefficient to deliver to that actually delivering those packages would tip their entire business into the red.

    And yet USPS is still profitable.. well, when you remove the pay-75-years-of-benefits-in-15 bizarro tomfoolery.. in spite of covering those areas.

    Don’t call UPS and FedEx “competition” — they’re the same kind of competition that you see in the health care insurance industry. They poach only the profitable routes and leave the unprofitable ones to the government-run business, all the while boasting how efficient they are. In actuality, without the government entity, those so-called efficient businesses are even more of a failure than the government-created entity, if all costs are fully represented.

  71. 71
    Mike G says:

    @JPL:

    So a doctor lied to Romney and Romney was gullible enough to believe him.

    Like so much of Repuke mythmaking, it’s a case of “I believe it because I want it to be true.”

    Most of us grow out of this developmental stage by the age of 7. Studying child psychology is a big help in understanding the minds of Repukes.

  72. 72
    tech98 says:

    @Unsympathetic:

    Don’t forget that FedEx and UPS outsource package delivery to USPS for the very rural areas.. the parts so economically inefficient to deliver to that actually delivering those packages would tip their entire business into the red.

    All the goobers in “don’t need no govmint” rural Sisterfuck, Alabamy and MilitiaGalt, Montana who loves them some GOP will be dropping their jaws when Rmoney privatizes the USPS and they have to pay $5 to mail a letter.

  73. 73
    myiq2xu says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I was just taking his word for it. Maybe that’s where he got his alias.

    “OMG! It’s so massive it got stuck!”

  74. 74
    General Stuck says:

    @myiq2xu:

    Have you had this raging homophobia very long? With a therapeutic attitude, projection can be your friend toward understanding yourself. Just sayin’

  75. 75
    Kathy in St. Louis says:

    The number of lies out there by the right is frightening. Last yesr, a friend told me that an elderly right wing friend of the family was telling her that his daughter in law had twins in Washington, and even though the family has millions, they were told that they could put the premature twins on Medicaid and get everything paid for. When I told her I thought that story was a crock, she told me that the older family friend is a doctor, so it must be true. When I told her that Medicaid is going broke in most states and that perhaps some social worker at a hospital offered this as a possiblity to all families with premature kids who are in the hospital for long stays and where the finiancial background isn’t know, she was all offended that I disbelieved that wealthy people with right wing tendencies could exaggerate or outright bs about things like this. I am not certain that these people don’t believe the stories they tell.

  76. 76
    jefft452 says:

    @Rafer Janders: “Could a reporter find the optometrist and check it out?”

    oh, so Mitt heard it from Ron Paul

  77. 77
    piratedan says:

    well that’s the thing, Mitt has never changed addresses, he only acquires them

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