That Imbecile is Going to be the Next President of the United States

Ron Paul’s Warren G Harding strategy/fantasy role-playing adventure is working out about as well as his video game. He has to have a plurality in 5 states to be presented for nomination in Tampa. It looks like he’s well on his way with two wins – Iowa and Minnesota – both gained by the Paul tactic of having his supporters stick around to the bitter end in caucus states so they can be elected as delegates.

It’s nice to see kids with a hobby that keeps them off the streets, but this thing is going to end in tears when the party establishment, and the Romney campaign, pull out rule 2432, clause B, paragraph 224 to unseat just enough Paul delegates to keep him out of the nomination fight. (via)






72 replies
  1. 1
    c u n d gulag says:

    Paulite’s – “Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.”

    Conservatives LOVE rage.
    Rage, is quite the rage with them.
    So, rage, rage, against Mitt.

    This should be fun.
    I’ll make some popcorn, and watch those crazy Paulite kiddies disrupt the gray/white haired wankfest that is the Republican Convention.

    Too bad I couldn’t get a Depends concession stand there.
    The kiddies will scare the sh*t out of the oldsters.

  2. 2
    amk says:

    cokeheads UNITE.

  3. 3
    Gary Fuckett and the Mindless Gap says:

    Ron Paul isn’t he 546 in dog years?

  4. 4
    brettvk says:

    I call bullshit — Ayn never had a boob job.

  5. 5
    Egg Berry says:

    Why does that look like it was stolen from the Colbert Show and rOn pAuL’s face ‘shopped on?

  6. 6
    amk says:

    @Gary Fuckett and the Mindless Gap: mittbot is just a few dog years younger. wonder when that will come up during campaign.

  7. 7
    MikeTheZ says:

    It still blows my mind to watch all these idiots who say he’s so great because he’s so HONEST and REAL. Like, fuck that his positions are insane, he says what he means, dammit, so he should be President.

    Decline and fall.

  8. 8
    MattF says:

    I just don’t believe that Republicans (with Bishop Romney in the lead) will let the Paulites anywhere near the convention microphones. Ain’t gonna happen.

    Added: And, yeah, Paul’s a crackpot. But.. just between you and me… all the Republican candidates are crackpots.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    Nemesis says:

    Typical Paulite story from last wekend….

    Im watching BookTV (geekalicious) all weekend. There are authors discussing their books during the LA Times Book Festival. Some panel discussions, some one-on-one discussions with moderators.

    A Saturday panel was built around “disaster”. So one author discussed the Haiti earthquake, one discussed the economic meltdown, etc. At the end of the moderateor-driven portion of the program, the in-person audience was encouraged ask questions.

    The first two audience members were wearing Ron Paul t shirts, launched into the usual Paultripe to the point the audience boo-ed them back to their mama’s basements. One of the Paulites started with “We all know that 9/11 was caused by the US support for Israel”. That didnt go over well.

    Then later in the day, an author was discussing his book about both sides of Hollywood-conservative and liberal. Time for the call-in portion of the show. Guess who calls in. The very same Pualite who was at the previously televised panel. She was asking the same questions.

    Then, on Sunday, another Paulite infected a call-in show that had nothing to do with politics.

    One wonders why so many people dislike the Paultards.

  11. 11
    satanicpanic says:

    I’ll be so glad when all his smug followers finally have to shut up. Assuming he doesn’t run in 2016.

  12. 12
    c u n d gulag says:

    @satanicpanic:
    Rand will, if his dad doesn’t.

  13. 13
    jibeaux says:

    @Morbo: Hee hee. I thought that link was going to take me to that “Labour isn’t working” ad, but this is even better.

    Wow. I extend my sincerest congratulations to those who have contributed to the project. You’ve forked over about $10,000 to let some guy wallow in his own filth for 2 months as he leisurely follows a “how to program video games” tutorial, while taking the occasional break to draw Ron Paul’s head on Waluigi’s body. This is a gaming revolution worthy of Ron Paul himself, indeed.

  14. 14
    amk says:

    @MattF: All mittbot has to offer paulbots is free doobies. No need for any violence.

  15. 15
    4tehlulz says:

    @satanicpanic: >implying his supporters will ever shut up

  16. 16
    Schlemizel says:

    @Gary Fuckett and the Mindless Gap:

    Luv the name BTW!

  17. 17
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    One of the intense ironies of the Paultard movement is that it’s made up of these “libertarians” who are fanatical members of a cult of personality that Stalin or Mao would nod their heads in approval of.

    They have next to no self-awareness of what they’re a part of.

    Yet they have the jejunacity, if you will, to accuse anyone who they consider an “Obot” to be a blind cultist.

  18. 18
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Who is that dashing man in the drawing? No way that that is a depiction of Ron Paul.

  19. 19
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Nemesis: Am I the only one who finds that the Paultards remind me of the LaRouchies?

  20. 20
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    @Gin & Tonic: No. There are at least 2 of us.

  21. 21
    SatanicPanic says:

    @4tehlulz: I’m hoping they go back to getting stoned and watching COPS or whatever it is they normally do

  22. 22
    Woodrowfan says:

    @Gin & Tonic:
    they strike me the same way. The same smug rote recital of absolute nonsense.

  23. 23
    Smiling Mortician says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yup. I had a Paulbot in one of my classes last term. He had an impressive set of Pacific Northwest White-Dude Dreads and a permanently glazed look in his eye. At first I thought it was just a lot of pot-smoking, but actually it was that and a fanatical devotion to a guy whose policies he couldn’t even name, let alone understand. I kid you not, he ended every paper he wrote with “Ron Paul 2012,” no matter what the topic. He disappeared at some point along the way and didn’t pass the class. I’m assuming he was getting Ron’s face tattooed on his back and hitting the road.

  24. 24
    gaz says:

    @Smiling Mortician: I live in the PacNW, and I’ve met far too many of these deluded fucks.

    For awhile, I was convinced that all paulbots were white guys with dreads who smelled like patchouli and shit.

  25. 25
    Ash Can says:

    @brettvk:

    I call bullshit — Ayn never had a boob job.

    Judging from her behavior IRL, it’s most likely the way she saw herself. And if Ron Paul can be depicted as looking the way he wants to look, Rand can be shown looking the way she would have wanted to look too, I suppose.

    @Gary Fuckett and the Mindless Gap: LOL! Love the nym.

  26. 26
    gaz says:

    @Smiling Mortician: How do starve a paulbot?

    Hide his parents’ money under the soap.

  27. 27
    gaz says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Am I the only one who finds that the Paultards remind me of the LaRouchies?

    I’ve long maintained that Ron Paul is the Lyndon LaRouche of the Republican Party.

  28. 28
    Smiling Mortician says:

    @gaz: They’re bizarro-world anti-hippies. It’s weird. I feel like every time I’m looking at one of them, I’m doing the sideways dog-head tilt: “Wha?”

  29. 29
    gaz says:

    @Smiling Mortician: What’s weird is they adopt hippie drag, and a 1%’er mentality.

    Cognitive dissonance doesn’t even begin to cover it.

  30. 30
    Chris says:

    @Nemesis:

    The first two audience members were wearing Ron Paul t shirts, launched into the usual Paultripe to the point the audience boo-ed them back to their mama’s basements. One of the Paulites started with “We all know that 9/11 was caused by the US support for Israel”. That didnt go over well.

    You know, the only problem with Ron Paul’s foreign policy (from the point of view of getting Republican votes) is that he insists on saying obvious things like “America does the wrong thing sometimes (e.g. it supports Israel) and it comes back to bite us in the ass.”

    If he took the same ultra-isolationist package and instead of phrasing it as “we’ve done bad, imperialist things and we shouldn’t do it anymore because it’s bad,” and instead phrased it as “we’ve never done anything wrong in our lives, the world just hates us because we’re so awesome, and so we should withdraw from the world because those filthy savages aren’t worthy of our awesomeness,” I’m pretty sure his share of voters would fucking triple overnight. (It’s not like his economic and social views are what’s holding him back, not in the Republican primary).

  31. 31
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    There will be no speaking slot. There will be no input into the platform.

    Paul will walk away with nothing, even if he’d won every state they’d find a way to utterly disenfranchise him and his followers.

    Funny that the only part of his platform that doesn’t give me a rash (legalization, end to foreign wars) are exactly the two things that will insure that the Republicans will lock him out of the process now and forever.

    An abhorrent man with a far more abhorrent and dangerous son. I have hope that this will be his last campaign.

  32. 32
    gaz says:

    @Chris:

    We all know that 9/11 was caused by the US support for Israel”. That didnt go over well.

    Probably because there’s more than a little truth to that statement. That never goes over well with the GOP base.

    This isn’t an endorsement of paultards on my part. This is more of a blind-squirrel/nut thing.

  33. 33
    jimmiraybob says:

    Nemesis@10

    …the audience boo-ed them back to their mama’s basements.

    As convenient a place for a Galt’s Gulch as any.

  34. 34
    Clime Acts says:

    I think you give this whole Paul thing far more attentionthan it warrants.

  35. 35
    Chris says:

    @gaz:

    Oh, I know. I was saying that if he stopped phrasing his uber-isolationism that way, he’d go a lot farther.

  36. 36
    gaz says:

    @Chris: Probably. But the 27%’ers would still have their knickers in knots over the whole “Legalize all drugs, BITCHEZ!1111” thing. ETA: And since it’s a major part of pauls brand he can’t really downplay that at this point. I suspect if he did, he’d lose the idiot whitebread stoner contingent. So there’s that.

  37. 37
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz:

    For awhile, I was convinced that all paulbots were white guys with dreads who smelled like patchouli and shit.

    So this is why I don’t see them at punk shows anymore, they’re all at Ron Paul 2012 rallies. Good! Thanks Ron Paul!

    OT but has anyone else seen those KONY 2012 posters? Did it not occur to these people that we’re in an election year and those posters look exactly like campaign posters?

  38. 38
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: I love that shit. Even if the people behind it were sort of fucked and dumb.

    Kony awareness is a GOOD THING(TM)

  39. 39
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: They’re putting up posters saying KONY 2012- Something Both Sides Can Agree On. If you don’t know who Kony is then you’re probably thinking he’s some third party candidate.

  40. 40
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: And if you’re dumb enough to try to write him in, seriously, we don’t need your vote anyway + go pound sand.

    Seriously, I’m not about to agree with trading away Kony awareness because I’m afraid a couple of morons out there don’t understand the world around them and will vote for the guy. Please. These are the same people who would vote for a potato, or a pile of broken glass. You can’t count on their vote anyway. ETA: And on that note, the worse they’ll do is peel off a few paulbots. Who needs ’em

  41. 41
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    KONY 2012- Something Both Sides Can Agree On

    I’m not interested in anyone who’ll vote for someone they saw a picture of, without even googling or asking someone… just to be clear. Google kony, ffs

  42. 42
    Brachiator says:

    @Nemesis:

    Then later in the day, an author was discussing his book about both sides of Hollywood-conservative and liberal. Time for the call-in portion of the show. Guess who calls in. The very same Pualite who was at the previously televised panel. She was asking the same questions.

    This sounds like the Lyndon Larouche people from the 70s and early 80s.

    I think there may be a core of politically crazy people who always look for a nut to follow. Ron Paul is their squirrel.

  43. 43
    gaz says:

    @Brachiator: yep.

    Ron Paul is the Lyndon LaRouche of the republican party.

    To paraphrase Jesus. “The (intellectually) poor will always be with us.”

  44. 44
    McJulie says:

    @gaz: In the NW, it seems like Ron Paul’s anti-interventionist foreign policy appeals to a surprising number of left-leaning people who really ought to know better.

    In my fantasies, he runs as an independent and whittles Romney’s general election percentage down to… oh, let’s call it 27%.

  45. 45
    gaz says:

    @McJulie: Heh. Yes. It’s a 2 pronged thing – anti-interventionist FP, and legalize all drugs. Never underestimate the latter in these people’s motivations. It gives Paul a “cool, bold, fresh” veneer that’s easy to digest but doesn’t stand up to even the barest critical analysis.

    I expect that a plurality of these people fill out their voting forms in crayonthe same large magic marker they use to write his name all over other people’s property (irony!), and get resin all over the paper while they are at it.

    ETA: My god, I know far too many of these idiots. They don’t shut up, either.

  46. 46
    Chris says:

    @gaz:

    Perhaps. I don’t think that’s nearly the kind of negative that his “blame America first” (translation: blame America ever) foreign policy is, though. If he was all right on everything else, I could maybe see him pulling through, especially during an anti-incumbent, anti-establishment election.

  47. 47
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: I know who Kony is, and have known about him for years. I’m just saying they’re not going a very good job of promoting their cause. With the exception of Rush Limbaugh using Kony to take a gratutious swipe at Obama (what else is new?) both sides do agree, and both sides have been taking action on him since at least 2008. Kony 2012 just seems like another Susan G Komen feel good thing. It certainly seems that way when I’m downtown and people are driving around in a SUV on saturday night honking going Wooo hooo Get Kony!!!!

  48. 48
    gaz says:

    @Chris: You might be right. Luckily for the rest of us, he’ll be dead before he manages to consolidate a significant enough base to do any real damage to the left. And I do have to say, that as much as I despise Glenn Greenwald, I like the fact that the Paulers and his adherents/cultists are getting just enough attention to make sure we are talking about some of the shit like NDAA more than we otherwise might.

    I’d be surprised if he’s healthy enough to run again in 4 years. And 8 I’d almost bet against.

    I don’t think the void will be filled by his spawn, Rand. I’d think Gary Johnson or something – and GJ would actually be something of an improvement.

    I’m just waiting around for him to retire or die. Same thing I’m doing with Clarence Thomas.

  49. 49
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    Kony received a surge of attention in early March 2012 when a 30-minute documentary titled Kony 2012 by film maker Jason Russell for the campaign group Invisible Children Inc was released. The intention of the production is to draw attention to Kony in an effort to increase United States involvement in the issue. The Huffington Post commented: “The 27-minute video was posted on Vimeo and YouTube by Invisible Children and became a worldwide trending topic on the Internet. Personally, I have never seen an outpour of support from people on my Facebook news feed like this.”[52] The video has been viewed more than 80 million times as of 17 March. The film has quickly received attention from celebrities.[53] Elizabeth Flock, writer for the Washington Post, offered more background on the LRA as well as Invisible Children in response to the documentary.[54] Flock and The Toronto Star stated that Invisible Children hoped to raise Kony’s notoriety enough to provoke a massive overnight poster campaign, which took place 20 April 2012.[54][55]

    From wiki.

  50. 50
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    It certainly seems that way when I’m downtown and people are driving around in a SUV on saturday night honking going Wooo hooo Get Kony!

    Yeah – I get it. You don’t like these fucking “hipsters” or whatever. You hated Kony before it was cool. * Nods *

    But you’re going to have to come up with a more compelling argument than OH NOEZ WILL SOMEONE THINK OF TEH VOTES!, because quite frankly, that dog won’t hunt.

  51. 51
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: I notice you didn’t cut and paste the paragraphs immediately before which explain the action that the US is taking that OR make any mention of what’s been going on in the Invisible Children organization since then. Hey, if you watch to give money to Invisible Children or support them in some way, go ahead. I just think they’re making a mockery of a serious issue, probably so their fundy founders can make some $$$.

  52. 52
    ruemara says:

    I got into an argument with a Paultroon over the Arizona papers law. He was contending that it was no worse than the mandatory drug testing done to Americans and that cops could always stop you and ask for ID. After a lolwut on that, I pointed out that there is no mandatory drug testing at any civilian cop interaction, which is why you must agree to breathalyzer testing, whereas if they think there is enough reasonable evidence of impairment, they can arrest you. He said companies can do it and police can conduct house to house searches in neighborhoods and we have no freedom arglebarble Jefferson founding fathers blather. Then I realized, I was wasting valuable time I could spend punching myself in the neck arguing with a libertarian moron.

  53. 53
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz:

    Yeah – I get it. You don’t like these fucking “hipsters” or whatever.

    That would be ironic. Which would be very hipster, so maybe that’s what it is.

  54. 54
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    : I notice you didn’t cut and paste the paragraphs immediately before which explain the action that the US is taking that OR make any mention of what’s been going on in the Invisible Children organization since then.

    You’re right, I didn’t. I felt my post was large enough as it is. You didn’t have trouble finding the page, I see. I don’t always post links if the blockquote is big enough, just because it’s a PITA to flip back and forth to get the address on there too – while it’s easy to copy a bit out and google it. It’s not intellectual dishonesty on my part, it’s laziness.

    And I actually think some of the folks at Invisible Children are doucherags. I don’t see how that makes your point about the votes.

  55. 55
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: glad to see you saw what I did there ;)

    Did you catch the part where I was ribbing you for being a hipster yourself? ;)

  56. 56
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: I don’t think anyone’s going to actually vote for Kony or that they’ll affect people’s votes, I just think the posters are not very informative. They assume everyone knows about Kony when I’m not sure they do, and after seeing the poster, I’m not sure what they expect people to do. I’m all for going after Kony, I just don’t have much faith in these IC people. When I start seeing KONY 2012 Yoplait my suspicions will be confirmed.

  57. 57
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: I did. Sadly, once you’ve been accused of being a hipster, you can’t deny it because that becomes confirmation of being a hipster. Which may or may not be ironic (possibly the most disagreed-upon word in the English language). I’ve decided to own my hipsterdom, which I think is ironic, but others may disagree.

  58. 58
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: I’d love to see kony’s face on yogurt. Recognition begets recognition. Make him famous. Better organizations are bound to attach themselves to the Kony awareness cause. And fundamentally, I understand that the posters and shirts are themselves not informative. Bumper stickers generally aren’t either, but they get eyeballs. You and I disagree on the value of that clearly. For my part, I think there’s room for reasonable disagreement on that.

  59. 59
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: I employ the word hipster because of it’s delicious mobius loop of irony.

    Please don’t ever take me seriously when I use the term. The term itself is parody.

    =)

    ETA: I’ve never been a hipster. I’ve always been a hipster – apologies to Orwell.

  60. 60
    gaz says:

    @ruemara: I usually just respond to whatever they say with an emphatic “PONIES!”

  61. 61
    SatanicPanic says:

    @gaz: Nothing wrong with hipsters. People can hate on them, but I’d gladly be at a bar with a bunch of people who are too cool to get violent.

  62. 62
    Nemesis says:

    @gaz:

    We all know that 9/11 was caused by the US support for Israel”. That didnt go over well.

    “Probably because there’s more than a little truth to that statement. That never goes over well with the GOP base.

    This was an audience in LA, with a couple of Jews on the discussion panel. There werent many supporters in the crowd.

    Yes, PART of OBL dissatisfaction with the US that apparently prompted his attacks of 9/11 included his dislike for Israel.

    A possibly even greater reason of OBL hate of the US was his explicit obsession with US military troops on the ground in Saudi Arabia. Soon after the attacks, our troops quietly scurried outta SA under the cover of darkness.

    Regardless, the situation I describe at the book festival seems the perfect venue for Paulites to demonstrate their disconnect with everything reality-related. The panel wasnt discussing terrorism or 9/11 or Paul or anything remotely associated with that weird twisted bitter little man.

  63. 63
    gaz says:

    @Nemesis:

    The panel wasnt discussing terrorism or 9/11 or Paul or anything remotely associated with that weird twisted bitter little man.

    It’s as if internet trolls leaped out of the screen and invaded meatspace. Ron Paul 4 evah!

  64. 64
    gaz says:

    @SatanicPanic: Totally, which is why I’m not afraid to make fun of them. Even at the bar.

    /not a nice person

  65. 65
    sherylkaye says:

    Good. I love a good Republican fight. Just enough to keep Mitt Romney and his team battling for strategies against their own party. And some of Ron Paul supporters are potentially flippers over to President Obama when voting time comes.

  66. 66

    @gaz:

    I’d love to see kony’s face on yogurt.

    Susan G. Kony?

  67. 67
    gaz says:

    @The Other Chuck: To be fair, I’d most like to see his name emblazoned in every bit of diamond encrusted bling on the planet. His face should be etched in the stones themselves.

    I’ve been planning on making some t-shirts like this, but with the Zales Logo and “A Diamond Is Forever” caption below a picture of an african man with no hands or something. I can’t sell it of course, because I’m betting any diamond seller on the planet has a legion of really-good-lawyers at their disposal. Call it a hunch*

    *It’s allowed. I’m jewish heh.

    ETA: I’m wondering when the day will come that we just abandoned pretense and switch the world reserve currency to african children. Speaking of which, can anyone break a large bill?

  68. 68
    LanceThruster says:

    I’ll simply add my support of 9/11 Truth. We’re being lied to on a monumental level in that regard. It’s pretty much anybodies guess as to what actually transpired that day.

  69. 69
    gaz says:

    @LanceThruster: Frankly, I’m far more interested in what lead to it, than what happened that day.

    Let’s say I have evidence of everything that went down that day, and I handed it to you. Then what?

  70. 70
    LanceThruster says:

    @gaz:

    I guess it depends on what the echo chamber did with it. There’s plenty of info already in the public domain that just sits there.

    Full investigations and prosecutions for malfeasance for a start. Cheney and Shrubya under oath would certainly be of interest.

  71. 71
    gaz says:

    @LanceThruster:

    Full investigations and prosecutions for malfeasance for a start. Cheney and Shrubya under oath would certainly be of interest.

    Sorry for the late reply. I should have just flat out said this in the initial response to you:

    The Department of Justice, The White House, and Congress have all demonstrated that they have no intention of prosecuting these people. If they had, they’d have faced charges already. You and I both know why that is, and it has nothing to do with the merits of a case, and everything to do with fallout, embarrassment, and politics.

    Keep in mind these people are already confined to the continent. They’d have a tough time travelling anywhere nice. Pretty much the rest of the world wants ’em on charges of war crimes.

  72. 72
    LanceThruster says:

    @gaz:

    Sad, but so very true. Thanks for your comments and observations.

Comments are closed.