The Zimmerman image rehabilitation tour is careening headlong into Stupidtown and threatens to barrel right through the Cottonfield of Ignorance:
“I spoke with my teenage daughter yesterday, and the word in question, it’s the difference between a ‘C’ and a ‘G’ from what I understand,” attorney Craig Sonner explained.
“And ‘goon’ is apparently a term of endearment in the high schools these days,” he added. “I don’t know of anyone younger than 40 who uses ‘coon’ as a racial epithet.”
You know, when folks last week were convinced that they had heard Zimmerman say “fucking coons” as he pursued Trayvon Martin, I disagreed. I didn’t hear “coons,” I heard “cones.” Who says “coons” anymore?
But, after Zimmerman’s best bro’s nonsense spiel this morning, I definitely think he said “fucking coons.”
Now, if you’re trying to rehabilitate your client’s image, and you think he might have said coons, what story should you go with?
1) These kids today (who are on my lawn, by the way) use the word “goon” as a term of endearment. That’s what Zimmerman was saying as he pursued Trayvon Martin armed with a gun. “Fuckin’ goons! Hey you fuckin’ goon! Come here, I just want to talk!”; or
2) Zimmerman was running, tripped over a cone, and said, “fucking cones”; or even
3) Zimmerman was running with a comb in his pocket, and said, said “fucking combs.”
The answer is 2 or 3. The answer is always 2 or 3. The answer is not “Zimmerman — who is a decade out of high school and would be unlikely to use high school slang — was chasing Trayvon after being told not to because “these assholes always get away,” and while he was giving chase, he muttered “fuckin’ goons” as some sort of expression of affection for the teenager he was pursuing and in an effort to speak that teenager’s language.
Come the fuck on, people. That did not happen. It just didn’t. But now that the Zimmerman’s team has made the claim, it’s going to stick, and a tenacious federal prosecutor might be able to use the sheer ridiculousness of Zimmerman’s “not-coons-but-goons” claim to make a hate crime case.
Who says “coons”? Very few people. But no one chasing a teenager says “fucking goons” as a term of endearment. No one.
Way to stand your ground and shoot yourself in the foot.
[via The Raw Story][cross-posted at ABLC]