(Joel Pett via GoComics.com)
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Mr. Pierce at Esquire sums up this evening’s politico-tainment:
… The Romneybot is probably going to win fairly big in Illinois tonight. The shoeless gomer factor is pretty low there, even downstate, and there seem to be enough sensible Republicans there to notice that, really, this Republican party nominating process has reached the B.J. Hunnicutt Stage of its run. None of the jokes are funny any more. It’s been on television far too long for its own good. The problem that the Republicans have, of course, is that there is nobody in the party with the authority to pull the plug. All these stories about how “someone” is going to have to tell Newt Gingrich that it’s time to go back to the lecture circuit are hilarious. At what point in his political career has anybody been able to tell the Definer Of Civilization’s Rules And Leader (Perhaps) Of The Civilizing Forces anything? Santorum will continue as long as he has the money, and as long as there’s a market for one anti-Romney, which will be until the year 2525, if current trends continue. The Republican National Committee designed a madhouse of a nominating process and then completely lost control of it. And the presumed nominee, and presumptive leader of the party, is deeply distrusted by the party he is presumed to lead. The basic problem with Republican politics this year — and it is one unique in my experience — is that there simply is nobody in charge of it. Nobody’s “fighting over the wheel” because a bunch of nutty folks from steerage took control of the ship in 2010 and threw the wheel overboard. “A sizable number” of Americans are catching on to this basic fact. Illinois could be the first sign that the Republicans intend to do anything about that.
One can but hope, she said piously. Here is a thread for small personal triumphs, random plaints, questions about the eternal verities (“What can be made for supper from the four frig food groups — leftover, frozen, takeout, and spoiled?”), and the ever-popular airing of grievances.
Liberty60
Airing of grievances you say?
Well let me start off with, “Obama is worse than Bush”
There, that oughta get’er goin.
AkaDad
Rush Limbaugh must be right about birth control. My mom used it and a lot of people on the internet call my mom a whore.
Poopyman
Newt! will carry on as long as his sugar daddy lets him. Ricky will carry on long after the money runs out, ending up shouting in the wilderness. It’ll be hilarious.
Hill Dweller
Boehner reportedly started weeping during the St. Patrick’s Day luncheon this afternoon.
Baud
Question for blog hoppers. Is GOS worth going back to? I stopped going there in 2010 because I couldn’t stand what that community had become, but the impression I get is that has improved since then. I prefer Balloon Juice, but I’m concerned about what will happen to this site if Tunch ever decides to get rid of John.
David Koch
@Baud:
No.
Ash Can
I live in a relatively (for Chicago) Republican/conservative ward, and the sum total of presidential GOP yard signs I’ve seen leading up to today’s primary has been a pair of Santorum signs in somebody’s yard down the street. And my polling place was pretty dead when I went in around lunch time.
And I was pleased to see that Randall Terry was not on the Dem ballot.
Hill Dweller
Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Crazy Town), one of the leaders of the House Energy and Commerce Committee and Solyndra investigation, said today that he still has questions about the President’s birth certificate.
Rhoda
Chop Suey
c u n d gulag
@Liberty60:
I’m sorry, but the nicest thing I can say is, “You’re a f*cking idiot!”
What a “MORAN!”
Xecky Gilchrist
@Baud: Is GOS worth going back to?
It seems to have backed off its peak of stupid emoprog angertainment, but it’s not great.
Ash Can
@Hill Dweller:
That’s what happens when you drink Jameson for breakfast.
piratedan
I have a job, I start next Monday. My cat has forgiven me from my long time away from the house on family business. It’s a toss up as to which event has more significance.
kindness
Airing of grievances eh? I had no idea Balloon Juice had morphed into the Festivus site. I shoulda known reading the comments to all to many threads though.
& I might say that yes, Daily Kos is still worth looking at once in a while. The comments there aren’t though.
Bago
You are going to need earplugs at Chop Suey. #Seattle
The Other Chuck
@Ash Can: I somehow doubt that Boehner drinks anything as pedestrian as Jameson. He strikes me as drinking Glennmorangie 30 year at minimum.
Baud
@David Koch: @Xecky Gilchrist:
Good enough for me. Thanks!
Phylllis
Dinner is reheated mexican lasagna left over from Sunday. Whatever’s left from that is going in the freezer for hubby for next week while I’m in DC. The week after that is Spring Break, and it can’t come soon enough. The sales people are coming out of the woodwork and their desperation to make sales is almost making me feel sorry enough to throw a purchase order their way.
Citizen Alan
I liked B.J. Hunnicutt! I thought he brought a dry, understated humor that helped to offset Hawkeye’s endless mugging and preening. For me, MASH didn’t start to go down hill until Radar left.
That is all.
Baud
@Hill Dweller:
Give the guy a break. It’s his last St. Patrick’s Day luncheon as Speaker.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Baud: It’s really kind of like the diamond fields in AR. You’re going to dig through a lot of dirt and occasionally find something worth reading. Except, sometimes, someone lets their dog take a dump in the field, and you don’t realize it until it’s too late.
Linda Featheringill
@piratedan:
Congratulations! [for both things]
Baud
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
Arkansas has diamond fields?
WRT dkos, yeah, that’s how I remember it. They did that site redesign after I stopped going there, so I wasn’t sure if that (plus the political situation) helped improve the situation.
lamh35
@Hill Dweller: Jesus! As a woman I know it’s probably sexist to say but goddamn that dude needs to man da fuck up!!!!
Always with the damn crying. Now I see why Cantor’s trying to undermine him whenever possible. What’s to be afraid of with this crying wuss?
some guy
Cliff Stearns is from the same town that gave us the odious Dennis Baxley, the Florida thug who “authored” the NRA’s stand-your-ground gun law.
Ocala Republicans, they don’t get more peckerwood than that.
Phylllis
@piratedan: Congrats!
Ben Cisco
Spoke with Mother Cisco, who worked the polls during the Alabama primaries. Even with the general nuttiness that has gone on the last several years, her home county is still a place where no one gets elected to local office as a Republican. Several of the residents, blowing in full of bluster and loudly announcing that they were there “to get rid’a that O-bahmmer”, were stunned to find out that if they wanted to vote on the local races, they had to take a Democratic ballot – and thus couldn’t vote for anyone in the Konservative Klown Kavalcade. Hilarity ensued.
Baud
Romney:
Alison
I just watched Lionel Messi score a hat trick and become Barcelona’s all-time leading goalscorer.
Dude is 24.
I’m trying to figure out if he made a deal with God or the Devil. Or maybe both. I’m not even a Barca fan but watching him play is like going to footie church or some shit.
BGinCHI
At least the robocalls are over here. Fucking unbelievable.
Many people I talked to made it clear they’d vote against the assholes who sponsor those things. And most of the Dems I talked to (including us) got lots of GOP calls. I hoped that cost them some money, the fuckers.
I’ll tell you, if this was an open primary, Dems would go out in force to vote for whomever would most fuck up the GOP primary going forward, and it wouldn’t be Mitt. I bet Obama creams him, btw.
LanceThruster
I wonder how Buddy Roemer would actually do if allowed to participate in the process?
Elizabelle
@piratedan:
You are due some smooth sailing for a while. Pirate flag optional.
scav
Morida from Florida: It’s my way or the highway: Christians and atheists in religious road row
So, atheists went to a random stop and unblessed it with brooms and unholy water.
PUP is promising to continue its work, although qualifying it slightly
I’m just wondering why arresting more people when fewer crimes are committed is judged a success by the Lordly. Jaywalking! Off with his Head!
TheMightyTrowel
New conspiracy theory:
The CIA is funnelling money to greenpeace to quash the Australian coal industry like they once may or may not have covertly assasinated someone.
Baud
@LanceThruster:
I’m going to guess he would do poorly, based on the fact that he did so poorly.
muddy
I’d just like to recommend Woodchuck Hard Cider, spring limited edition. The slight maple-y flavor keeps it from being heartburn city like the Grsnny Smith kind. I only meant to drink one, but …
82*, the pup tried the millpond for the first time. He does not yet know he can swim. I love it when a dog has the literal eureka moment. Some young teenagers came, mixed gender, extra screaming. He was frightened, I said we’d go back tomorrow when the little bastards are in school.
redshirt
@scav: Mysterious ways Brah!
Schlemizel
Saw a variation on this cartoon the other day, all the brackets were “NOT MITT” but, of course the final was “MITT”
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@Baud:
Turing wept.
johnsmith1882
i’m an ilinois voter! i voted for rick santorum today! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
with all of his delegates. and all of his alternate delegates. you want rick santorum one-third of the republican party? you got him.
romney will still win illinois, because illinois is not insane, but it was worth it for the laughs.
also voted for a local referendum to allow the village to control the electricity. yay community!
my father pulled a republican ticket, but didn’t vote for anybody. voted for romney’s delegates. in a mostly republican town of 15,000 about thirty minutes out of chicago, my folks were voters number 117 and 118 at one of the seven polling stations, at four oclock. be lucky to get a thousand voters, so turnout is way depressed this way.
jl
My tentative plan for the next few months is that I recently decided, for the sake of my country, to offer myself up to head the GOP ticket, should there be a contested GOP convention.
So far, the GOP has not gotten back to me. Maybe they checked my voting registration, but if that bothered them, they are overly picky. That is the merest formality.
Another problem is that, after reading about how shooting people who you don’t like the look of has become a quaint regional custom in FL since they adopted their new self defense law (the Martin lynching is just the latest example), not sure I am in a mood to go to FL, where I think the GOP convention is.
So, clearing my calendar for the task of rescuing the country has been postponed.
Too bad, I was practicing toughening up my fists for pounding the table during my epic three hour Lincoln Douglas style debates with Obama.
BGinCHI
@muddy: What part of the country do you live in? We can get you drinking better cider than that, my friend.
jl
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
“Turing wept.”
Why? Because a human is spitting out nonsense that a old school mechanical adding machine, with a fricken lever and gears, would be ashamed to output?
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@The Other Chuck: When he was in the statehouse here, he was known as a connoisseur of Merlot.
Cris (without an H)
B.J. was a far better character than Trapper John.
johnsmith1882
@BGinCHI: right on. i pulled a republican ticket today, would be nice if primary was open so i could have voted for other offices.
JS
Chicago suburban area here, I went in this morning, and was number 100 in a precinct of around 1400 voters. Took Mom in this afternoon and she was 161, with after-work “rush” still to come. The poll workers thought 20% would be really great turnout if they could get it.
Weather not a problem, sunny all day long and temps into the 80s. (sixth record high temp for Chicago in the last seven days)
I voted Democratic for a State Supreme Court race, and Mom went non-partisan, only to vote on a local referendum on the suburb negotiating for electric rates. No love for Rick or any of the surviving GOP presidential dwarfs. If the polls were closer, I’d have been tempted to (double) crossover.
(Really? Spellcheck doesn’t like dwarves?)
patroclus
The key race in Chicago is the Supreme Court primary – I voted for Mary Jane Theis.
BGinCHI
@JS: It’s little peoples, I think.
Off to vote for Pat Paulsen.
The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik
I dunno if someone already passed this along, but…
Will the Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up? (We’re gonna have a problem here…)
johnsmith1882
@JS: same story with the depressed turnout, the beautiful day, and the referendum on the electricity.
RossinDetroit
I have nothing to beef about and it’s just as well because who cares?
Thank FSM for Pierce. He’s driving himself nuts so we can see the warped side of the truth. I honestly couldn’t stand this election season without him.
muddy
@BGinCHI: I’m in VT so it’s a local product to me. I rarely drink anymore, I used to like everything but not much sets well for me these days. I wanted to stop at my local for an ale (not hoppy) on the way home but it wasn’t open and I don’t know why. I felt aggrieved so when I stopped for milk I spotted this and thought I’d give it a whirl.
Then suddenly I drank 3 and got a huge buzz on, pretty silly but I am unused. I ran into an old sweetheart earlier, from the bad old days, may have something to do with it (in a good way, it was a fun meeting). Or just because it’s g-d 82* in March.
Where are you, and what cider do you drink?
Jennifer
That lines up pretty closely with something I said over at roy’s the other day: back in the Reagan era, Evil was driving the GOP bus; Stupid just paid for the gas.
That has completely reversed now – Stupid drives the bus, and Evil – in the form of Koch, Adelson, etc. money – pays for the gas.
JS
@BGinCHI: In this context, I’m sticking with “Lily White and the Seven Dwarfs” as how I characterize the GOP field.
Although I suppose I should pre-emptively regret giving Newt Gingrich an opening to play his ‘victim card’ and demand that President Obama apologize on behalf of a mean blog comment from one of his left-wing (word involving a pharmaceutical product that gets moderated – grr) supporters.
(Why can’t my comment get out of moderation if I replace the offending word, anyway?)
nellcote
Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxch-yi14BE&feature=player_embedded
Hilarious!
Baud
@nellcote: @The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik:
Since two of you recommended it, I took a look. Glad I did – it’s hilarious. I’m curious now about when Romney actually talked about masturbating.
John O
IL-10 Congressional race voter, so I pulled the trigger for Sheyman, the most progressive of the candidates but someone I have a tough time imagining winning in the fall, in no small part because he’s 25 and basically a fetus to me.
The Dems always find a way to lose this district.
WereBear
@piratedan: I haz a happy for you. Very much!
@scav: I put nothing past Florida. Nothing. When the water starts creeping up, I expect the crazy to erupt like Krakatoa.
Jay
@The Other Chuck:
Hey – it was St. Patrick’s Day! Mr. Speaker would obviously just be maintaining that longstanding tradition of honoring the Ould Sod by getting sozzled on some of it’s native brews: though I would imagine that Boehner wouldn’t subject his delicate orange liver to anything cheaper than Black Bush (IIRC, Bushmills’ upscale poteen) ….
Frankensteinbeck
@piratedan:
After the years of economic Hell Bush put America through, that is truly wonderful news. Congratulations. I wanted to make a cat joke, but getting a job again after the Great Recession is too sober and important a topic.
WereBear
@Frankensteinbeck: I have friends going through bankruptcy because they picked the wrong freakin’ year to make their lifelong dream come true, and open a restaurant. He’s a great cook, family pitched in, and the rotten economy killed it.
Heckuva job, W!
LanceThruster
@Baud:
I don’t even remember if he ever was part of any of the earlier events/debates/etc.
Seems as if when the party is in meltdown over how sh!tty their candidates are, it might occur to them to give those not annointed by TPTB a chance to be reconsidered.
It would take a secular miracle to have me ever vote GOP, but Ron Paul and Buddy Roemer have integrity that none of the other GOP hopefuls do and that should at least be looked at by Repugs (provided they’re not dead-set on the crazification factor currently steering their ship of fools).
LanceThruster
@Jennifer:
That lines up pretty closely with something I said over at roy’s the other day: back in the Reagan era, Evil was driving the GOP bus; Stupid just paid for the gas.
That has completely reversed now – Stupid drives the bus, and Evil – in the form of Koch, Adelson, etc. money – pays for the gas.
What a wonderfully descriptive (and frightening) observation.
Frankensteinbeck
@LanceThruster:
Ron Paul does have more integrity than the current candidates, but that’s not a high bar to clear. The big problem there is that he’s not a Republican. He’s a crazy fucker who believes only switching to the gold standard will save us from the Jewish Banking Conspiracy. He just barely passes because he wants to eliminate all regulation and taxes and he’s a rather ugly Christianist, but he really believes in dismantling ALL of the government. Cutting law enforcement and military down to next to nothing is as anathema to the right wing as removing all social services (even stuff like public education) and business regulation is to the left. The right wing is fiercely tribal, and he’s not part of the tribe, and they will never, ever consider him seriously.
JGabriel
@Baud:
No one goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.
.
mrmike
Yet another instance of “local law is better… unless we don’t like it”
New Fracking Law in PA
Local communities can’t pass laws that are more stringent than the state law and must provide for “reasonable development of oil and gas”
Uncle Cosmo
@Hill Dweller:
Probably auditioning for his next job–as a miraculous statue in a megachurch somewhere.
Cat Lady
@Hill Dweller:
They’re all fucking nut jobs, and Boehner’s their sock puppet. He’s a perfect representation of the sackless bullies they’ve all become. What a clown.
millekat
I read Pierce religiously (you should pardon the expression), but he nearly lost me with the “BJ Hunnicutt” refernce, when any M*A*S*H ophile knows the show improved with assorted cast changes.
The era of Hunnicutt preceded that of Col Potter and Major Winchester, one of the few times the one-percent added something of value. :~)
Uncle Cosmo
@BGinCHI:
I remember one call I made in MD during the 2006 general election–the recipient (a woman in southern MD) moaned “not another political call” & I said, “But at least with the Democrats you get to yell at a real person on the other end of the line!” Which got a laugh & (a few minutes later) another vote for the O’Malley/Brown ticket.
dmsilev
@BGinCHI: Most of the robocalls I got were from Democrats. The biggest offender was some guy running for a judgeship (elected judgeships: bad idea. But I digress). He’s been calling me for weeks.
I’ve already forgotten his name.
gelfling545
@scav: and undoubtedly the church members went elsewhere to commit their crimes.
StonyPillow
@BGinCHI: It is an open primary in Illinois. You just declare as a Republican when you give them your name.
Obama unopposed, two identical twin Blue Dogs (Tammy Duckworth and Raja) running for the right to beat “Deadbeat Dad” Walsh in IL-08 in November. No point in pulling a Democratic primary ballot. And Santorum is by far the weakest Republican candidate, a sure loser.
First time in my life I pulled a Republican primary ballot. Dammit, I need a long shower with a lot of soap.
Anoniminous
@StonyPillow:
Obviously you need to shower using the “Frothy Bar-of-Steel Soap” for manly men to rub over their manly bodies to clean their manly pecs and thighs.
StonyPillow
@Anoniminous: With Sueeve Shower Hammer, I can bleed the shame away. It’s an Opus Dei thing.
catclub
frickin mobile site switcheroo
Anoniminous
@StonyPillow:
Uff dah.
Davis X. Machina
@Frankensteinbeck: Legal dope, too. Don’t forget the dope.
MrCheesyPuff
In the shuffling madness
Of the locomotive breath,
Runs the all-time loser,
Headlong to his death.
He feels the piston scraping —
Steam breaking on his brow —
Thank God, he stole the handle and
The train won’t stop going —
No way to slow down.
He sees his children jumping off
At the stations — one by one.
His woman and his best friend —
In bed and having fun.
He’s crawling down the corridor
On his hands and knees —
Old Charlie stole the handle and
The train won’t stop going —
No way to slow down.
He hears the silence howling —
Catches angels as they fall.
And the all-time winner
Has got him by the balls.
He picks up Gideon’s Bible —
Open at page one —
God stole the handle and
The train won’t stop going —
No way to slow down.