Runs deep so deep so deep

I was thinking the other day that it’s a bit surprising there haven’t been more displays of machismo among the four remaining Republican candidates, now that Perry is gone. Machismo was a big part of W’s shtick, I seemed to recall. Then I saw this post at Digby:

By far the most compelling confirmation of the phallic meaning of the president’s aircraft-carrier cakewalk was found on the hot-selling “George W. Bush Top Gun action figure” manufactured by Talking Presidents. I originally ordered one to use as part of the cover design for this book. The studly twelve-inch flyboy not only comes with a helmet and visor, goggles and oxygen mask, but underneath his flight suit is a full “basket” — a genuine fake penis, apparently constructed with lifelike silicone.

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70 replies
  1. 1
    Cat Lady says:

    No comment necessary.

  2. 2
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    Probably cheaper than the real President Bush’s penis substitute.

  3. 3
    Trentrunner says:

    All we need to know is encapsulated in the collectors’ insistence on calling these “action figures” and not “dolls.”

  4. 4
    gordon schumway says:

    It puts the lotion in the basket.

  5. 5
    MattF says:

    Once you pose the question explicitly, i.e., “Should the George W. Bush action figure have a penis?” the answer is obvious.

  6. 6
    Kathy in St. Louis says:

    I hope that I live long enough for someone to get the information on exactly WHAT old W was doing instead of his time in the reserves. The fire at the Records Center in Missouri was probably the most fortuitous thing that ever happened to this utter phony. Instead of his father having them destroyed and everyone figuring that out, he could just claim the records went up in smoke when a real fire happened….or,…..never mind, I’m beginning to sound like the nutwits on the other side.

  7. 7
    MattF says:

    I note that this topic is going to keep the spam filter busy.

  8. 8
    Raven says:

    @Kathy in St. Louis: He was drinkin and chasing poon-tang.

  9. 9
    Argive says:

    Runs deep so deep so deep

    Well done. It’s too bad that Dubya thought that any day when he had to use his AK was a good day. He should have paid attention to the great warrior poet Ice Cube.

  10. 10
    Soonergrunt says:

    The studly twelve-inch flyboy not only comes with a helmet and visor, goggles and oxygen mask, but underneath his flight suit is a full “basket”—- a genuine fake penis, apparently constructed with lifelike silicone.

    And you know, that’s worth extra to the conservatives. The same people who use toy models of Bradley Fighting Vehicles on a table to disprove statements by BFV qualified drivers (the Scott Beauchamp controversy) will point to this, literally and metaphorically, as PROOF OF…something

  11. 11
    Raven says:

    @Soonergrunt: God it was fun just running a Bradley turret in a parking lot at Stewart!

  12. 12
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Phoenician in a time of Romans: Yes, the doll costs less than the Iraq war.

  13. 13
    Larry Tate says:

    The funny thing is that the penis is actual size!

  14. 14
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    @Soonergrunt:

    the funny thing is, I knew of Stuart Koehl from back when I used to frequent a Byzantine Catholic forum (he, being a convert to Byzantine Catholicism). Sorta came across as a smug know it all there too. What is it with smug, middle aged pasty white male defense contractors who’ve never served in the military?

  15. 15
    quannlace says:

    **Shudder** I remember that day. Any lingering respect I had for Dubya evaporated right then and there.
    It was also ludicrous to see the day-long orgasm Fox news had with it. I thought Ann Coulter was gonna cream in her bloomers.

  16. 16
    taylormattd says:

    Gross.

  17. 17
    muddy says:

    Only a pen1s? He has no balls? Poor George. My Barbies might have liked him, back in the day. We used to put the Ken on top of the Barbie (until Mom found out, eek!) in the bed. We used to wonder why they bothered putting the non-specific lump on Ken at all. Barbie doesn’t have any genitals either. But does have bumps elsewhere.

  18. 18
    Canuckistani Tom says:

    It’s like something from Robot Chicken

  19. 19
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Raven: LOL. They are a lot of fun. It’s a kick in the head to go full throttle tooling through the countryside, and shooting Tables VII and VIII with a skilled driver and gunner is just an orgasm on wheels (or tracks, in this case.)
    And then the fucking VEDB fails in the ass end of nowhere.
    Also, you LIVE in the motor pool.
    Brads are wonderful for carrying your shit, and the cannon is nice firepower, but for actually having a life when in garrison? Light infantry is the way to go.

  20. 20
    muddy says:

    @quannlace: @quannlace: G.Gordon Liddy was super excited and said every woman in America just decided how to vote from that.

    I wonder what Georgie had stuffed in there? He ought to get stuffed anyway.

  21. 21
    greennotGreen says:

    @Canuckistani Tom: You mean it’s not from Robot Chicken?

  22. 22
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Amanda in the South Bay: Well, if he’d actually served, he’d have knowledge that would slow down his tendency to be an absolutist, and you can’t have that in a hack writer.

  23. 23
    Amir Khalid says:

    I did the Google and found a website selling Talking Presidents dolls. At the top of their product list right now is one of Ann Coulter. Blecch.

  24. 24
    Lockewasright says:

    Outward displays of machismo are generally motivated by an inner scared little weakling.

  25. 25
    muddy says:

    I am in moderation even tho I changed the i to a 1 in the P word. dammit

  26. 26
    Ash Can says:

    GREEN BALLOONS

  27. 27
    Trentrunner says:

    @muddy: I think it’s entirely possible that GWB has nice big delicious slurpable member.

    I guess my question is why anyone beyond his wife (and coke-addled mistresses) would care?

    I mean, it’s just weird and creepy that GGL and Chris Matthews put such stock in apparent member girth.

  28. 28
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Where’s Torture Outfit Dick Cheney and and Alberto Gonzales featuring 5 different perjurious phrases? I want my complete set, damn you!

  29. 29
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Amir Khalid: I really do not want to know if that doll is anatomically correct.

  30. 30
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Where’s Torture Outfit Dick Cheney and and Alberto Gonzales featuring 5 different perjurious phrases?

    Where do you want your internets delivered?

  31. 31
    wrb says:

    Yow, don’t leave it alone with the fully equipped Santorum action figure.

  32. 32
    MariedeGournay says:

    @Amir Khalid: Go well with my Inhumanoid.

  33. 33
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @wrb:

    the fully equipped Santorum action figure.

    I wonder if it comes with naughty-thought-curing clothespins.

  34. 34
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: No. It has a Cilice around its thigh.
    And a sweater vest.

  35. 35
    BGinCHI says:

    How many right wingers own this and also have a Barbie doll with a homemade vagina?

    I’ll put the under at 270.

  36. 36
    Raven says:

    @Soonergrunt: Takes me back to my 3 months in an Honest John missile unit at Lewis. Totally obsolete but, for some reason, we were keeping them around. All we did was pull maintenance day-after-day and haul one over the mountains to Yakima and light one once a year. I had, and did, get out of that place.

  37. 37
    Soonergrunt says:

    @muddy: I’m working on it.

  38. 38
    Misha says:

    Both sides do it, don’tcha know.

  39. 39
  40. 40
    Arclite says:

    Some journalist complained recently about how comment sections were 90% noise, and thus, shouldn’t be part allowed on stories, as they added nothing to the conversation. Sully gets around the issue by liberally publishing reader letters, both pro and con, and I think that works for him. However, I wouldn’t trade my BJ commenters for the world. As good as the posts often are here, the comments invariably add to that, even if there is some trolling and noise mixed in. The first dozen comments of this story are hilarious and insightful, for example.

  41. 41
    kindness says:

    The ‘W’ GI Joe might have come with a full ‘package’ but me suspects the real W had dick issues. I mean, look at how he carried on policy. If he wasn’t hiding behind his machismo it certainly appears to be making up for a lack of something there.

  42. 42
    BGinCHI says:

    @Arclite: Virtual hug, polite slap on the rear (in a neutral, non-actionable way).

  43. 43
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Raven: Bradley maintenance, when we came out of the field, was about two to three weeks and we had to fit in maintenance of personal and individual equipment around that. You MIGHT get a long weekend after about a month, if you weren’t going back to the field, that is. Light infantry was three days from return to garrison to final inspection followed by long weekend, followed by three-day week, followed by long weekend…

  44. 44
    Maude says:

    @Arclite:
    Well, here at BJ, we have taken some journalists to task.
    No wonder they don’t like us.
    Speaking of noise, what is cable tv?

  45. 45
    The Dangerman says:

    Should have been a puppet, with the accompanying Cheney doll with the hand up W’s ass.

  46. 46
    Arclite says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I wonder if it comes with naughty-thought-curing clothespins.

    No, but the p3n1s will inflate if you show it gay p0rn.

  47. 47
    Cacti says:

    I’m surprised the Neocons didn’t push for full-on economic fascism in the immediate post 9/11 era to match the bellicose nationalism.

    Does anyone doubt they would have gotten majority support?

  48. 48
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    At least W can’t complain that he’s been symbolically cast…in a bad light.

  49. 49
    Raven says:

    @Soonergrunt: Ugh. High tech warfare.

  50. 50
    ruemara says:

    ! I’m pretty sure Barbies everywhere are thrilled to have a built in chastity belt. Why would anyone decide that an action figure needs a penis?

  51. 51
    ruemara says:

    dadgummit. I’m in moderation. Can we all decide this blog is for adults and saying peener is silly?

  52. 52
    Arm The Homeless says:

    OT: Hey, Teabaggers, stop raping people.

  53. 53
    scav says:

    What is it with the Bush boys and their Bush bits? Pere‘s gets put in a lockbox for a few years, Fils‘ is comprised at least partially of crumbled sock and is memorialized at a scale suitable for kung-fu grip action. . . .

  54. 54
    dms says:

    Well, the burning question should be:

    Cut or Uncut?

  55. 55
    scav says:

    @dms: Future or past tense, how far can we misjudge by and is burning still an option?

  56. 56
    Svensker says:

    @Cacti:

    I’m surprised the Neocons didn’t push for full-on economic fascism in the immediate post 9/11 era to match the bellicose nationalism.

    Why bother? Isn’t that pretty close to what we have, with Goldman Sachs, Halliburton, big Pharma and big Medicine, etc.?

  57. 57
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Arm The Homeless: FSM that “stop raping people” Breitbart video is twenty pounds of awesome topped with awesome sauce and a gallon of awesome cherries.

    ETA: Tag: Republican War on Women!

  58. 58
    Mobile Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Jesus Christ, how many closet cases are there on the Right? If we could just figure out a way to build an engine that ran on denial and self loathing, our energy problems would be solved.

  59. 59
    Jay S says:

    According to one of Digby’s commenters the version they got just had a bit of foam glued on to fill out the “package”. Maybe the book author got the super deluxe version.

  60. 60
    John M. Burt says:

    AIUI, the “basket” effect was the result of failing to loosen his straps as soon as he got out of the cockpit as any real pilot would do — so while the phallocentric GOPers of whatever gender were ogling him, all the aviators were snickering (the ones in Federal service behind their hands, of course) at a poseur doing the equivalent of leaving his fly open.

  61. 61
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    @Soonergrunt:

    I do think that what you said is a little bit insulting. Its the whole “ooh Coulter is really a dude/tranny!” thing. Yes, she’s obviously odious, no reason to bring her appearance into the picture.

  62. 62
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Amanda in the South Bay: You have my apologies. Really. Whatever the case may be with respect to Ms. Coulter, I should stick to attacking her rhetorical positions, and not the least because it might personally offend someone whose opinion I respect, as I clearly have here with you.
    Thank you for the correction, and again, I am sorry.

  63. 63
    Pupienus says:

    Silicone is decidedly more lifelike than the equivalent latex …. component, it is NOT “lifelike.” Just trust me on this, k?

  64. 64
    Kathy in St. Louis says:

    @Arclite: I have to say that the quality and intelligence of BJ commenters is far above most websites I follow. If I don’t laugh out loud at a particularly clever and thought provoking put down, it’s a really slow day here. I wouldn change them, either.

  65. 65
    Thatgaljill says:

    What I want to know is how a stint in the Texas National Guard gets translated into Naval Aviator

  66. 66

    How can I not sympathize with Teapublican homophobia, now that it’s inescapable that they are reminded of their shame every time they look in the mirror?

    Easy. Is there a past from any era that they can’t fail to get over?

  67. 67
    Kyle says:

    @Mobile Grumpy Code Monkey:

    Jesus Christ, how many closet cases are there on the Right?

    One other demographic shift in favor of the Dems is that increasing public tolerance and acceptance of gays means fewer closet cases driven to violent, hate-filled right wing politics to repress their feelings. Authoritarian right wingers thrive on social oppression.

  68. 68
    Mike G says:

    @quannlace:

    Shudder I remember that day. Any lingering respect I had for Dubya evaporated right then and there.

    I watched it with co-workers who were all aflutter with the spectacle of it all. I found it pompous and sickeningly shallow jingoism even by the standards of Repuke photo-ops. My respect for them dropped another notch.

    They insisted that Chimp had flown and landed the plane on the carrier deck in a display of his manly commandererer-awesomeness. They hated it when I pointed out how difficult a skill it is to land on a carrier, beyond the capabilities of experienced land-based fighter jocks without specific training, so having flown in the ANG decades before wouldn’t cut it, even for the Decider. Bush didn’t fly the plane; he could have worn a three-piece suit that day.

    We’d had disagreements over the previous months about the Iraq invasion. I speculated before the invasion that Saddam didn’t have any nukes, which they thought was the most traitorous commie kumbaya idea ever. I should have rubbed it in their faces over subsequent years, but they would have just denied ever saying it. It was my introduction to Repuke infallibility/denial psychology.

  69. 69
    Kilkee says:

    @Soonergrunt: Nicely done, sir. We need more of that around here, and (especially) elsewhere.

  70. 70

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