Open thread: It’s a wonderful surprise to see your shoes and your spirits rise

One of the many joys of being as filthy rich as me is the ability to declare your weekend begun at 10am on a Friday morning, or indeed at about 9.15 on Monday, concepts like “weekday” and “weekend” being essentially arbitrary anyway.

Happy weekend to all. Time for a drink and some music then. First, courtesy of the always lovely Popbitch – Rebecca & Fiona’s Dance, a perky little thing with some lovely female vocals and lots of lovely buzzy beats, that just cries out for a trance remix.

Also The Temper Trap’s Sweet Disposition, by reason of a further viewing of the delightful (500) Days of Summer. I haven’t been able to get Hall and Oates out of my head all week.

You will be pleased to know that preparations for the Convention in August are progressing well. The girls, on the whole, seem to think that Marge and I should just front up at the first Santorum “meet the delegates”, get some other old dear with a hat and a grudge to slip Ricky a shitload of laxatives hidden in a slice of chocolate cake, release Marge’s squirrels into the room and then make a break for it. I think that’s rather unsubtle. We shall see.

Sandra bet me that she can seduce two Paulite delegates per day, and at least four on the last day if Ron Paul doesn’t get the nomination. Sandra’s fond of giving the odd pity fuck. She says that the tears make it sweeter. Sandra is not a nice woman sometimes.

I took the bet, although I suspect I’m going to lose. If she were wearing a Santorum badge I’d say the odds would be firmly in my favour. Santorum’s young, male delegates are either going to be pinched, virginal godbotherers or closeted gays and, while Sandra likes a challenge, I suspect that would handicap her just enough.

Romney’s cute boy delegates are either going to be Mormons or bankers, and usually both – which would be much more fertile territory for Sandra even if a lot of those Mormon bankers are going to be fucking each other.

I don’t know if there is such a thing as a Ron Paul gay. I shudder to think. Google tells me that the top result if you search on “gays for ron paul” is the charmingly named Gays for Ron Blogspot, which hasn’t been updated since February 1, 2008. So that’s not much use. I’m not going there. Perhaps one of you can go check and find out for me what a Gay for Ron Paul looked like during the last Presidential election.

Mrs Chen (who lives in 5B) says that Sandra should walk up to Ron on the convention floor, pants him and pelt him with elderly eggs. Again, a little unsubtle, I suspect. Mrs Chen does hold onto a grudge. She’s like the last limpet in the bucket.

So, we’re still undecided on strategy. Any suggestions will be gladly received.

On a more practical note, however, I have started stocking up on convention pharmaceuticals, and I am hunting the archives for a recipe for Mamie Eisenhower’s Black Cherry Ice Cream Cake – Newt’s favourite. I think I can cram enough speed into it that Newt will spend the entire four days vibrating in a corner somewhere, without affecting the taste. Mamie liked her icecream sweet, thick and pink, just like her men.

Anyway, that’s where we are up to.

Don’t forget our Fitness Club which I will post as close to 6pm on Sunday as WordPress and my elderly brain will allow me. Last week’s was sadly under attended. Slackers. Don’t make me come in there and make you exercise.

If you will excuse me, my dears, there is a vanilla and pear daiquiri with my name on it currently frosting its glass on my swim-up bar, and the pert-chested and rubescent MI6 officer who stuck around after David Cameron’s visit to Shady Pines keeps tugging the top of his speedo at me. Most distracting.

I hope you have a lovely weekend, and I shall speak to you all soon.

Sarah xx

50 replies
  1. 1
    Mark S. says:

    Remember The Offspring? Remember that song You Gotta Keep Them Separated? Remember how it could go through your head for days? Well, it still has that power if your unlucky enough to catch it on the radio.

  2. 2
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    and the pert-chested and rubescent MI6 officer who stuck around after David Cameron’s visit to Shady Pines keeps tugging the top of his speedo at me. Most distracting.

    Damn, frightened the cat, again.

  3. 3
    Gretchen says:

    I want a vanilla and pear daquiri too! And I like Sandra all the better for not being a nice woman sometimes. Niceness is overrated.

  4. 4
    Yutsano says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: A pert-chested MI6 officer scared your cat? Just what sort of mishegas have you been up to meester?

  5. 5
    c u n d gulag says:

    Sarah,
    How about at the Convention, serving pitchers of “Santorum,” the cocktail:

    “…a frothy mixture of Baileys, orange vodka, bitters and chocolate flakes.”

    And with penis-shapes swizzle sticks, of course!

    After they slurp down a few, maybe you could convince a few of the Log Cabin Republicans to tell a few stories of their harrowing sexual escapades.

    I don’t know, maybe call it: “Cock Tale Hour!”

  6. 6
    negative 1 says:

    The trance remix for ‘Dance’ is like a starter kit for the ‘Home Blog Remix’ iPhone app. By the way it’s also a gateway drug for dubstep – Only You Can prevent more Skrillex!

  7. 7
    c u n d gulag says:

    Ah, “awaiting moderation***”

    That’s nothing – my parent’s have been awaiting my moderation for 5 decades!

  8. 8
    TooManyJens says:

    This American Life is retracting its Apple/Foxconn story. The site is getting hammered and timing out, so here’s the blurb from the episode that will air on Sunday:

    Regrettably, we have discovered that one of our most popular episodes was partially fabricated. This week, we devote the entire hour to detailing the errors in “Mr. Daisey Goes to the Apple Factory,” Mike Daisey’s story about visiting Foxconn, an Apple supplier factory in China. Rob Schmitz, a reporter for Marketplace, raises doubts on much of Daisey’s story.
    __
    Ira also talks with Mike Daisey about why he misled This American Life during the fact-checking process. And we end the show separating fact from fiction, when it comes to Apple’s manufacturing practices in China.

    Ira Glass also put up a blog post, but I haven’t been able to read it yet.

  9. 9
    Martin says:

    @TooManyJens: Yeah, Mike Daisey tells the story we want to hear. It’s not that the story is entirely wrong, nor should be told, and everyone embellishes in an effort to draw attention to an issue that nobody wants to look at.

    I thought Frontline did a pretty good job with their report. There’s no smoking gun. There’s no feel-good moment. It’s people doing pretty shitty jobs. Lots of jobs are shitty jobs, particularly in places like China.

    My only objection really to the entire Foxconn story is how sole-focused it is on Apple. You walk 100 yards over and you have the same workers in the same conditions making XBoxes, PS3, Wiis, Samsung phones, Blackberries, TiVos, TVs, HP laptops, Dell laptops, and so on. This is the ENTIRE electronics industry, like it or not. And long before Apple became the most valuable corporation, HP was ahead of them with those same workers in those same factories and nobody cared. And Microsoft was there with XBox workers and nobody cared. And so on. Nobody cared about the workers until they were looking for a reason to hate on Apple. And ironically, by drawing attention to the problem, and demanding higher wages and better working conditions, it’ll probably happen. And only Apple will be able to afford to do it, and they’re going to knock even more competitors out of the market, and they’ll need to find new ways to hate on an even more dominant Apple. Not that I mind, just interesting to watch it play out.

  10. 10
    srv says:

    @TooManyJens: Well, I was going to post a triumphant message from my new iPad to celebrate my enablement at the expense of the bone crushing that created it, but Balloon-Juice gives my precious a 403 error.

  11. 11
    Martin says:

    Here’s the press release from TAL which details their position.

  12. 12
    Martin says:

    @srv: WordPress deems you everyone unworthy.

  13. 13
    p.a. says:

    one of my retired friends had a calendar made: Sunday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

  14. 14
    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik says:

    Anyone else watch Maddow lasts night, and the two part Inhofe interview? I want to know how that went, since I really can’t bring myself to watch it. Just…goddamn Inhofe.

  15. 15
    Mark S. says:

    Rich people are building 10,000 sq ft basements to avoid being too ostentatious (via). I don’t know, shouldn’t they be showing off more, to rub our plebeian faces in it and shows us what moral virtue can accomplish? I hope Bobo is working on a column about it right now.

    Being a communist who occasionally thinks of the couple billion people who live on a dollar a day, some of this shit makes me want to vomit:

    Digging is under way to create one of the city’s largest basements, doubling the size of Witanhurst House, a 45,000-square-foot home originally built in the 18th century. Plans approved by the district call for a two-story projection-screen movie theater; a large spa with a central rotunda; a 70-foot swimming pool with a two-story-high ceiling; bedrooms and staff quarters, according to public records. It’s slated for completion this fall.

    A 70 foot swimming pool in your fucking basement. And why do you need such a high ceiling?

  16. 16
    passerby says:

    Dear Sarah P & T,

    I too enjoyed 500 Days of Summer. The music was/is pitch perfect.

    We could all use that certain something/someone to bring us out of our all too often rut-ty lives (for example: our continued focus on the petty and inane Republican Presidential race. I maxed out on the “ugh!” months ago.)

    Since Spring has sprung, I reformatted my mp3 player and Hall and Oates’ (Man-eater) made the cut. Crank it up.

  17. 17
    Roger Moore says:

    @Martin:
    If it’s an Apple hate fest, that’s only because Apple is one of the few companies involved that people care enough about to arouse those kinds of strong emotions. The activists have been trying to raise awareness of labor conditions in China for a long time. They just weren’t able to make much headway until they could point to a popular, respected company like Apple as a major offender. If there’s a problem here, it’s that we dumb consumers don’t care enough to show concern until a company of the stature of Apple is involved.

  18. 18
    ABL 2.0 says:

    i LOVE sweet disposition.

  19. 19
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Mark S.:

    And why do you need such a high ceiling?

    Well duh, so there is enough headroom to fit in the solid gold corkscrew-shapped waterslide.

  20. 20
    srv says:

    @Mark S.:

    A 70 foot swimming pool in your fucking basement. And why do you need such a high ceiling?

    Go to your local pool. Imagine an 8 foot ceiling. Big spaces need proportianate headroom.

  21. 21
    Nicole says:

    @Mark S.: Well of course the wealthy are building luxury basements. They’re going to want to shelter in comfort while the peasants burn down their mansions.

  22. 22
    Legalize says:

    Whooo, Cincy edges Texas.

  23. 23
    Martin says:

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik:

    I want to know how that went, since I really can’t bring myself to watch it. Just…goddamn Inhofe.

    I had to turn it off when he was saying that scientific journals are liberal publications.

  24. 24
    Martin says:

    @Roger Moore: Fair enough. Wouldn’t mind seeing some other US companies have to defend their own practices here, though.

  25. 25
    Roger Moore says:

    @Mark S.:

    A 70 foot swimming pool in your fucking basement. And why do you need such a high ceiling?

    I want to know who the fuck builds a 70 foot swimming pool. If you’re going to build something that big, just go ahead and make it 25 yards or 25 meters so it can be used as a standard lap pool. As for the 2 story ceiling, I assume it’s so they can have a diving board without people worrying about hitting their heads.

    ETA: I’m a former competitive swimmer, in case you couldn’t guess.

  26. 26
    Martin says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I want to know who the fuck builds a 70 foot swimming pool.

    The same guy who puts it in his basement.

  27. 27
    eemom says:

    just thought I’d mention wilfred has seriously gone off the deep end in that earlier thread…..he’s talking about buying wives. Someone get him some help plz. kthxbai.

  28. 28
    PurpleGirl says:

    Best line from the first series of Downton Abbey:

    Dowager Countess Grantham: “What’s a weekend?”

    Said in response to another character saying he could spend time at the estate to learn about it “On the weekend.”

  29. 29
    schrodinger's cat says:

    Andrew Sullivan is extolling the virtues of not having a comment section. I think he is afraid, also he wants to lecture us, up high from Mt. Olympus, on what real conservatism is and give out his inane “awards”.

  30. 30
    Roger Moore says:

    @eemom:
    Some people are beyond help, and I think purity trolls are especially likely to fall into that category.

  31. 31
    DFH no.6 says:

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik:

    I’m with you. Was watching Rachel, saw her pre-Inhofe-interview promo (talking about Climategate and such) and had to change the channel.

    Could not watch that preening, ignorant asshole Inhofe dissemble and obfuscate for all he was worth, and I figured no way would Rachel really be able to call him on his bullshit.

    From other commenters I’ve read, that’s pretty much what happened.

    Caught Temper Trap at Coachella a couple years ago. They were pretty good (not great, but good).

    Hadn’t heard of Rebecca and Fiona before. They have potential, I suppose. This Dance tune is ok (just ok, though).

    Checked out Skrillex last year at Coachella (for a bit, anyway). Though I’m old, I like to think I’m fairly open-minded about music of all kinds. But I could not get into Skrillex. Not my cup of tea, at all (nor, really, is any dubstep I’ve heard).

  32. 32
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @Roger Moore: So you were James Bond and a competitive swimmer, any thing else that we should know about?

  33. 33
    Martin says:

    @eemom:

    Someone get him some help plz.

    I’m trying.

    Wait, do we want him more or less off the deep end?

  34. 34
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Martin:

    Wait, do we want him more or less off the deep end?

    I’d settle for convincing him that a flamethrower is not a professional piece of pool-cleaning equipment, but then I’m easy to please that way.

  35. 35
  36. 36
    Roger Moore says:

    @Martin:

    Wait, do we want him more or less off the deep end?

    Quick! Throw him an anchor.

  37. 37
    DFH no.6 says:

    @Martin:

    I had to turn it off when he was saying that scientific journals are liberal publications

    Well, about that Inhofe’s actually 100% correct (though not, of course, in the way he meant it).

    Modern movement conservatism is faith-based, mendacious, pig-ignorant Know-Nothingism. Pretty much the opposite of science.

    Inhofe being an obvious exemplar, a perfect paragon of the species, as it were.

  38. 38
    Shari says:

    Not as easy as closing your eyes

    http://www.texasobserver.org/c.....ot-to-know

  39. 39
    PeakVT says:

    @Mark S.: I loathe that song.

  40. 40
    Origuy says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    any thing else that we should know about?

    Does he still have that license to kill?

  41. 41
    Roger Moore says:

    @Shari:
    If those hussies were true to Jesus, their babies wouldn’t have birth defects in the first place. Obviously, God is punishing them for their sins, and we shouldn’t defy God’s will by letting them skip out. /wingnut

  42. 42
    eemom says:

    omg. Srsly, check out the bottom of that thread if you haven’t already. Timmy and toko-loko are in the act now and there is some seriously weird shit going down, even for this place.

  43. 43
    Roger Moore says:

    @eemom:
    I don’t care how tasty the mangoes are, I am not getting out of the boat.

  44. 44
    Geoduck says:

    For anyone who hasn’t heard, the TPM blog reports that one of the Wisconsin GOPers facing recall has resigned, leaving the state Senate deadlocked.

  45. 45
    asiangrrlMN says:

    Ms. Sarah, if you have young, comely attendants at Shady Pines of any gender, might they be enlisted in pulling a prank on the GOP candidates? Plus, they are probably tech-savvy enough to videotape the whole thing on their cells.

    I can’t wait to read about the shenanigans!

  46. 46
    Ash Can says:

    I don’t know if there is such a thing as a Ron Paul gay.

    Sure — wealthy, white, and way too selfish to let you watch.

  47. 47
    DFH no.6 says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I don’t care how tasty the mangoes are, I am not getting out of the boat.

    I had been reading that Obama video thread earlier, following the whole wilfred weirdness, so I thought, what the hell, I’ll take eemom’s suggestion and see just how strange it got.

    Holy shit!

    Old Brick Oven Bill was one bizarre cat (still wonder if he might not have been a spoof) but wilfred’s really in his own category (and he comes with several cracked-brain defenders, too).

    I’m with Riilism who nominated that thread as the weirdest, most fucked-up one ever (and that was only at 329, before it went completely over the edge).

    wifred’s gonna get his fucked-up self banned, I predict. matoko-chan may end up in timeout again someday, but I hope not permanently – I find her quite amusing (I’m probably a bad person for saying that; she likely needs some help).

  48. 48
    AA+ Bonds says:

    Oh Rebecca & Fiona are great

  49. 49
    AA+ Bonds says:

    I don’t know if there is such a thing as a Ron Paul gay.

    There is but he usually answers to “Ron Paul straight”

  50. 50
    AA+ Bonds says:

    @eemom:

    just thought I’d mention wilfred has seriously gone off the deep end in that earlier thread…..he’s talking about buying wives. Someone get him some help plz. kthxbai.

    haha sweet, thanks for the tip, wilfred is a BJ superstar for real

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