Dear Senator McDougle…

Via commenter mamayaga, this diary by Lowkell at the Boehner Coloured Satan is well worth a read.

As you no doubt have heard by now (unless you’ve been out of the country, living under a rock, or comatose), Virginia Republicans – and Republicans around the country –  have been on a rampage in recent months with regard to telling women, as well as their doctors, what should and should not be done to/with their bodies. Is it ironic or just pathetic that many of the leaders in this effort have been men like Virginia State Senator (and Republican Caucus Chairman) Ryan McDougle (R-Mechanicsville) ? You decide. Anyway, it appears that McDougle’s support for trans-vaginal ultrasound legislation has not gone over too well with at least a few folks, judging from the raunchy comments being left on his Facebook page. Enjoy! :)

*”Hey, since you’re so interested in my health, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been really horny lately because I’m ovulating. But don’t worry; I won’t engage in dangerous heterosexual sex that could result in a pregnancy. This is because I’m a really fat and hairy Lesbian and I plan on having sex with women for the rest of my life, the really butchy dykey kind. The current object of my affections, and central character in the majority of the sexual fantasies at the moment, is Alison Bechdel (pictured below). Thanks for showing me the light in regards to my own sexual health, in affirming that having sex with men in more trouble than it’s worth. The fact that women are sexier anyway, it just a happy coincidence.”

This is clearly the kind of thing that happens when the civil conventions of our society start to break down.

64 replies
  1. 1
    Warren Terra says:

    Boehmer Coloured Satan

    A tip to help you blend in, Comrade: Americans spell that word “Colored”.

    ETA More substantively, those facebook commenters are awesome.

  2. 2
    BGinCHI says:

    What do you call a terrorist on Facebook?

  3. 3
    Brachiator says:

    Damn, these Facebook comments made my day!

  4. 4
    bemused says:

    This made my day. Absolutely, fabulously funny.

  5. 5
    Warren Terra says:

    @Warren Terra:
    Also: it’s Boehner. Can’t believed I missed that earlier. I am as always available for all your pedantry needs.

  6. 6
    muddy says:

    @BGinCHI: What?

  7. 7
    Jager says:

    Mrs J shared this with her graphic artist and 5 other women she works with. Mrs J said they were rolling on the floor laughing, including several who were being visited by the “curse”.

    On a personal note, after spending many years as the lone male in a household with a wife, two daughters a female cat and a female dog, the only expertise I developed was going to the drug store or market at 3 in the morning. I suggested one time, since this happens on a regular basis, why not stock up on supplies? I was told to “fuck off”. I now have thick skin and an award from Kimberly Clark.

  8. 8

    I loved, loved the GYN doc picture!

  9. 9
    geg6 says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Love it.

    I’m loving these commenters. Wonder when that Facebook page gets shut down as Senator McDougle pulls a brave Sir Robin and bravely runs away?

  10. 10
    dmsilev says:

    @Jager: Let me guess. The ‘fuck off’ came from the cat, right?

  11. 11
    Brachiator says:

    From the story, I like how one legislator noted that his wife played the Lysistrata Option.

    Ben Tribbett flags this clip from the Virginia General Assembly floor of Del. Dave Albo (R-Fairfax). Del. Albo took to the House floor to describe how his wife spurned his advances after seeing a story about the Virginia GOP’s efforts to mandate transvaginal ultrasounds.

    Oh, the humanity!

  12. 12
    Amir Khalid says:

    @muddy:
    Ya know, in case the good Senator has some denouncin’ to do.

    @BGinCHI:
    And Stevie G’s hattrick against Everton was a thing of beauty, is that not so?

  13. 13
    BGinCHI says:

    @muddy: I thought you guys would know.

    I was hoping for an answer that mocked Facebook, though. I’m glad to see this use of that shithole coming to some good.

    AK: Recorded the Liverpool match, so now trying to forget what I just saw……

  14. 14

    @Jager:

    Ha Ha I spent many years in the WRNS (British Navy) and our “messes” (living quarters) were generally six girls to a room (until you moved up in rank when you got your own room). We also generally moved to a new base every two years. I can tell you that the transition period (scuse the expression) when you moved into a mess as a newbie was a bitch (as well as a constant “oh fuck did I forget my pill?” panic while your particular cycle was aligning with the others). I believe that nuns experience the same thing (although I have to point out that nuns we were not).

  15. 15
    Jennifer says:

    More, much more of this. Every woman in every state where this crap is being pushed should be posting this kind of stuff on the Facebook page of every politician who has one and supports this crap. Men, too – guys, you can make up a narrative on behalf of your wife/girlfriend. The only way they can stop it is to unfriend constituents – which you really don’t want to do when you’re an elected official – or block all comments – which makes your FB page useless – or shut it down altogether.

    Why limit is to this one jerk? Let them all have it.

  16. 16
    Amir Khalid says:

    @BGinCHI:
    Whoops. Sorry.

  17. 17
    muddy says:

    @BGinCHI: I don’t do the facebook, so I don’t know the lingo. I have been given to understand that there are mice?

  18. 18
    BGinCHI says:

    @Amir Khalid: No worries. Can’t wait to watch it!

  19. 19
    BGinCHI says:

    @muddy: Rats for sure.

  20. 20
    hildebrand says:

    They have scrubbed the site all the way back to September of last year.

  21. 21
    Jager says:

    @dmsilev: anyone of the five of them could let loose at any moment. I was swimming in estrogen.

  22. 22
    Schlemizel says:

    I just went there to see the fun & the entire thing has been scrubbed back to Sept of last year! But they still allow people to add comments so I sure did!

    I asked him for advice on my wifes ovarian cysts. It would be immoral for her to use birth control pills like her dr. suggested, right?

  23. 23
    Svensker says:

    Sweird, when I go to his page, his most recent post is September 2011.

    Ha ha ha. Schlemeziel, your comment has already been scrubbed. The delete mods are on it!

  24. 24
    Ella in New Mexico says:

    Someone with more time on their hands than I have needs to compile a list of these shit-heads who have a Facebook page for us to comment on.

    Then we will comment-bomb the hell out of them.

  25. 25
    shortstop says:

    @Jager:

    I suggested one time, since this happens on a regular basis, why not stock up on supplies? I was told to “fuck off”.

    Oooh, I’m sorry, but I am laughing immoderately at this. Good man on developing the thick skin.

  26. 26
    BGinCHI says:

    I suggest we call the AL and MS primaries Stupid Tuesday.

    Who’s with me?

    /apologies to the nice, smart people of both those states: I’m referring to the GOP population

  27. 27
    mamayaga says:

    The ease of scrubbing shows why this tactic would be better used in public, with a video record to live forever on Youtube.

  28. 28
    sfinny says:

    Hey, those facebook entries gave me a great idea. Think I’ll start mentioning to my boss just where I am in my cycle (he is a Republican). Maybe ask if he got a vasectomy after their fourth kid, cause it has been seventeen years.

  29. 29
    Jager says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Things got better when Mom and the kids periods drew together, it was estrogen city for two weeks a month rather than 4. My youngest girl got her first the summer after the 7th grade. I overheard her tell her mother “this is awful, I’m going to get my tubes tied!” Her mom said, “it won’t help, suffer like the rest of us women do!” At times I thought about moving into the garden shed.

  30. 30
    DonkeyKong says:

    I’d say when it comes to this shrill behavior, both sides do it. However none of the comments submitted to McDougals facebook page are in CAPS or misspelled.

  31. 31
    gwangung says:

    @mamayaga: Hm. I don’t we have to be “either/or”….

  32. 32
    Svensker says:

    Comments are closed. :)

  33. 33

    @Jager:
    I often wonder what it is like for the father of a house full of girls, now I know. I am sure the garden shed seemed like a haven for you :) I do not think that you (or your wife) should tell your daughters about the “joys” of menopause, because if your daughter thinks the onset of her period is “awful” she is gonna be really pissed off when she hits menopause.

  34. 34

    @Warren Terra:

    A tip to help you blend in, Comrade: Americans spell that word “Colored”.

    No matter how hard I try (which, frankly, isn’t very hard) I can’t get used to leaving out the u, or spelling “ise” words with a z. I’ll just have to settle for being the exotic old English woman.

  35. 35
    Angela says:

    I fucking LOVE THIS FUCKING SITE. John Cole, I want to have your babies! But, um, I’m 44 and not really inclined to do that to my vajayjay, but I do love my pets and rescue organizations. maybe for our wedding we coudl register for donations to a couple of our favorite foster organizations and pet food/supplies for them?

    I suggest colors of brown and blue (I love those colors), a few Kongs, and some packets of kitty treats (my Mia FREAKS OUT at the site of a plastic container of kitty treats).

    Plus, I suck a mean cock. And i”m not even a secret Republican.

  36. 36
    mamayaga says:

    @gwangung: True, and this little Facebook storm probably occupied his assistant’s time for a day, and, one hopes, got the douchebag’s attention.

  37. 37
    Corner Stone says:

    @Angela: Well.

  38. 38
    Jager says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: When I was a kid our next door nieghbors had 11 (or was it 12) kids. 6 girls. Of the 6, 5 have one kid each, the 6th has two. The girls were treated like little princesses, the boys once they were potty trained were sent to the 3rd floor “boys room” and it was nasty. Mrs W was a beauty on her wedding day, after 11 (or 12) kids in 20 some years she looked like walking death. Mr. W was the cock of the walk, so to speak. It took them two cars to get to St. Marys on Sunday.

  39. 39
    ericblair says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I often wonder what it is like for the father of a house full of girls, now I know. I am sure the garden shed seemed like a haven for you :)

    Yeah, well, I’ve got the J-man beat. Wife, two daughters, she-cat, two female guinea pigs, and even all the fucking fish (except the betta). No garden shed, though, but I can zone out pretty well.

    I’m in Northern Virginia, so you can imagine how those bunch of assholes in Richmond look to people here. We’ve been pissed off for years that Richmond takes the majority of our taxes so they can pave nice new roads in southern VA from Bumfuck to East Bumfuck and leave us to rot, except now they’ve decided they’re all up in everyone’s ladybits. And I’d like to extend a special thanks-a-fucking-bunch to any idiot in NoVa who voted for McDonnell thinking that he’d give a shit about us after the election. Dumbasses. Not that his opponent was great: the Dem pretended he was a gooper, the gooper pretended he was a Dem, the fake Dem won, and proceeded to become one of the biggest reactionary assholes in the country.

  40. 40
    ruemara says:

    You know what they can’t scrub? Faxes and post cards. I say send them a daily vagina update.

  41. 41
    BGinCHI says:

    @Corner Stone: Harrumph.

  42. 42
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    The comments have, indeed, been removed. Time to start some new ones. I did. It was such fun. Right under the NRA posting.

  43. 43
    Woodrowfan says:

    @ericblair:

    A BIG thumbs up! I feel like telling the reactionary rural red counties to start paying for their own damn stop-signs and schools! For a “small government” party, they sure like telling people in Fairfax and Arlington what to do, or what not to do!

  44. 44
    Jager says:

    An old DFH buddy of mine dates a Pagan woman in Santa Cruz, she is a hell of lot fun, reps artists for a living,kick ass cook. She lives in a rambling house in the hills, raises chickens and has a huge garden. Last fall he was spending the weekend with her and she cooked a superb dinner, afterwards they were sitting on the deck drinking wine and she asked him, “like those tomatoes from the garden?” he said, “best I’ve ever had!” She said “know what the secret is?” “What?” “I use my monthly water for fertilizer, woman have been doing it for thousands of years.” He told me that at first he wanted to jump in his car and get the hell out of there, reconsidered and he is eagerly awaiting this years crop.

  45. 45

    This is the Lysistrata strategy, and I love it.

    I knew that all those years of studying classic Greek theatre would come in handy.

  46. 46
    ericblair says:

    @Woodrowfan:

    For a “small government” party, they sure like telling people in Fairfax and Arlington what to do, or what not to do!

    Yeah no shit. The latest deal from those jerks is holding up funding for the Silver Line metro extension to remove union worker preferences from the contracting process. Never mind that there’s federal, local, and the toll road funding over 90% of the project, they gotta hold things up ‘cuz a day without pissing on labor is a day without sunshine. Of course, they’ve tried to minimize the amount of money they have to pony up for the extension anyways, but they’ve still got enough input to fuck things up.

  47. 47
    Darkrose says:

    My comment got deleted, so I’ll have to share it here:

    I have a bit of a quandary. A couple of years ago, I started perimenopause, complete with migraines, heavy bleeding, and painful cramps. On my gynecologist’s recommendation, I had an IUD installed to regulate my cycle. It’s been great, but I’m not sure not if it’s worse to be a birth-control using slut or a lesbian. Based on your extensive knowledge of womens’ health issues, could you please clarify? Thank you.

  48. 48
    Insomniac says:

    @Corner Stone: Right there with you!

  49. 49
    Nancy says:

    After reading what those beautiful, wonderful broads posted on McDougle’s facebook page, I can only say this: “God,I love my sisters, and I love the men who love them!”

  50. 50
    muddy says:

    @Angela:

    And i”m not even a secret Republican.

    Sure you’re not.

  51. 51
    mellowjohn says:

    dear sen. dougie,
    so sorry we won’t be able to participate. i had a vasectomy in 1975 and my wife had a complete hysterectomy in 1991.
    have fun interfering in other people’s sex lives.

  52. 52
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @Angela:
    Bless your heart.

  53. 53
    John of Indiana says:

    Somebody is probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown from scrubbing that page.
    And the comments just keep on comin’ Way to go!

  54. 54
    Arclite says:

    BTW, Alison Bechdel (in addition to being an accomplished cartoonist and author) is the populizer of the Bechdel Test a bare minimum way to determine gender bias in movies:

    1. A movie must have two named women characters in it
    2. Who talk to each other
    3. About something other than a man.

    You’d think that would be pretty easy to accomplish in most movies over the course of two hours, given that the chars can literally speak about anything. You’d be wrong. Movies that fail: All the original Star Wars films, all the Lord of the Rings films, Avatar, most of the Harry Potter films, the Social Network. Even having a female lead does not ensure you will pass the test: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Run Lola Run, Kick Ass, and Let Me In all fail the test.

  55. 55
    Svensker says:

    @Darkrose:

    Brava. :)

  56. 56
    Jimbo316 says:

    @Jager: This reminds me of a wealthy Irish Catholic family that went to our otherwise lower middle class/working class parochial school in Pittsburgh. They had 16 kids (who else could afford so many kids). But can you imagine? Despite their wealth, they were really nice, generous people and the wife amazingly always had a girlish figure. Were it not for the fact that the kids so obviously looked alike, you would have thought they were all adopted.

  57. 57
    Angela says:

    @Corner Stone: Different Angela than the one (me) who has commented in the past, not that I’m not forthright…

  58. 58
    AxelFoley says:

    LMMFAO! Those two ladies owned the fuck outta his ass on Facebook!

    Fuckin’ brilliant!

  59. 59
    Ash Can says:

    @Jager: Hats off to you, sir.

    Signed,

    A now-menopausal mom of one son and wife of a very understanding and patient husband.

  60. 60
    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick says:

    this is perfect.

    bomb the right with lady bits.

  61. 61
    AxelFoley says:

    @Angela:

    I fucking LOVE THIS FUCKING SITE. John Cole, I want to have your babies! But, um, I’m 44 and not really inclined to do that to my vajayjay, but I do love my pets and rescue organizations. maybe for our wedding we coudl register for donations to a couple of our favorite foster organizations and pet food/supplies for them?
    __
    I suggest colors of brown and blue (I love those colors), a few Kongs, and some packets of kitty treats (my Mia FREAKS OUT at the site of a plastic container of kitty treats).
    __
    Plus, I suck a mean cock. And i”m not even a secret Republican.

    lolwut? Well, that came out of nowhere.

  62. 62
    shortstop says:

    Dear Senator McDougle, please check your Facebook wall. We’ve written you some mash notes to marvel at your gall. Our delegates sniff panties; our senators are nuts. Golly, Moses, naturally we’re sluts!

    Please, Mr. McDougle, on aspirined knees, we’re telling you the pill is also ‘scribed for disease. Dear Mr. McDougle, what are we to do? Gee, Mr. McDougle–wand you!

  63. 63
    Gillian Middleton says:

    Welcome to the Commonwealth of Vaginia.

  64. 64
    Adam says:

    In an effort to make comments available to McDougal after what obviously must be a technical error, maybe a new Facebook page needs to be opened: “Ryan McDougal Comments” or “Ryan McDougal of the Commonwealth of Vagina,” or something like that, where people can feel free to post their comments originally intended for him, free from worries that their comments will be scrubbed.

Comments are closed.