For all the Douchebags

This is why I want ABL posting here. This is why I think she is a great blogger:

“Apparently, Negroes hugging is the lesser known fifth horseman of the apocalypse.”

She makes me laugh out loud when I read her stuff, and if you didn’t snort when you read that, well, wtf is wrong with you?

63 replies
  1. 1
    David Koch says:

    The bible tells us to beware of Shadrach, Meshach and a big negro.

  2. 2
    Snark Based Reality says:

    But she used a form of the N word… Isn’t that like a secret joke handshake where I shouldn’t laugh if I’m white? Did I mention I’m incredibly white?

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Martin says:

    @Snark Based Reality: It’s okay. You can laugh. I guarantee I’m whiter than you. My middle name is #FFFFFF+1.

  5. 5
    ABL says:

    aw shucks. ::kicks rocks::

  6. 6
    S. cerevisiae says:

    @David Koch: Ok, that both made me laugh and brought back Sunday school flashbacks.

  7. 7
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    This Forbidden Hug is a surprise to exactly no one with a brain.

    Well, there’s the problem. The wingnutosphere has a deficit of that particular organ.

  8. 8
    freelancer says:

    @ABL:

    You were awesome on the Twitter tonight, ABL.

  9. 9
    S. cerevisiae says:

    @ABL: ABL, I went over and read your post as well – I really hope they run with this shit. You made them look like the fools they are.

  10. 10

    @S. cerevisiae: I gotta say, your women’s team went down fighting on Saturday. I didn’t think they had two games like that in them, but my fingernails were gone by the end of that final. I may not like that team, but they can say that the ended their season playing the best fucking game they could.

    Now, a win on Saturday and we can end not only your season, but also that of the Fighting Whioux. Though, I’ll laugh my fucking ass off if their band shows up in the jerseys with the Sioux logo and they forfeit. That would be worth not getting to see a game.

  11. 11

    I love the ad on the left side of the page as I’m typing this, some crap by Grover Norquist and someone named “John R. Lott, Jr.” about “Obama’s War on Jobs and Growth and blah blah blah”.

    Keep wasting your money on this blog, idiots!

  12. 12
    Rich C. says:

    Long time lurker and linker:

    ABL is teh awesome. I’ve said it to her and I’ll say it here, she is performing a ministry to the unintentional white honkeys. Her voice is that reminder that many of us need that this society is not fair and there is another way of looking at things.

    I know ABL challenges some of the MRAs but they should be challenged. Kudos to ABL for standing up for herself and kudos to John Cole for keeping her on board.

  13. 13
    Bruce S says:

    I’ve laughed out loud when I’ve read some of her stuff, but that’s probably because I spend lots of time with black folks who aren’t LA lawyers. Big fucking deal! She spent months here encouraging ridiculously toxic shit from…uh…douchebags with small minds.

  14. 14
    YellowJournalism says:

    Is a hearty chortle okay? The kids are sleeping. (And I should be, too!)

  15. 15
    Citizen_X says:

    Oh, no. This is the blockbuster news from ABL:

    I am so embarrassed to have gone to college with Michelle Malkin.

    Faint!

  16. 16
    Baud says:

    I like ABL’s stuff. I think the think we’re all wondering is why you want Doug J posting here.

    Kidding

  17. 17
    freelancer says:

    @Baud:

    Speak for yourself, snarkolicious.

  18. 18

    From Albert Brooks’ 1985 film Lost In America:

    David Howard: That’s why I married her.
    Skippy: That’s why I hired her.

  19. 19
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    All due props to ABL, I think it might just be the “hugging” part that got them. “Two people embracing each other, as if they were being affectionate! That’s never happened to me! It must be some secret socialist code.” Of course, that’s not to discount the presence of two colored folk chatting with each other, which every good conservative knows is the precursor to the Great Race War of 1968 1979 1992 2012.

  20. 20
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    (Oops, used a spam filter word.)

    All due props to ABL, I think it might just be the “hugging” part that got them. “Two people embracing each other, as if they were being affectionate! That’s never happened to me! It must be some secret soshulist code.” Of course, that’s not to discount the presence of two colored folk chatting with each other, which every good conservative knows is the precursor to the Great Race War of 1968 1979 1992 2012.

  21. 21
    opie jeanne says:

    @ABL: How little we know each other.
    snerk!

    I especially loved this:

    “…..it’s not like i knew her, or we hung out every day, or braided each other’s hair or anything….”

  22. 22
    opie jeanne says:

    all of this nonsense about the tape makes me really wonder if we’re being punked.

  23. 23
    well paid replicant says:

    Apparently, Negroes hugging is the lesser known fifth horseman of the apocalypse

    Still snorting…two hours later. That is comedic gold right there. I like the snarkier ABL 2.0.

  24. 24
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @freelancer:

    @ABL:
     
    You’re were awesome on the Twitter tonight, ABL.

    Fix’t.

    Indeed she is. :)

    Hey, I thought President Obama was the fifth horseman of the apocalypse!

    This end of the world stuff is confusing.

  25. 25
    amk says:

    will ed henry ask about this whitey tape in the next PC ?

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Yutsano says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: Hello dear. I just cooked up a storm. How are the orderlies behaving tonight?

  28. 28

    I loves me some ABL, and not only because she has more hater trolls than I do…

  29. 29

    @Yutsano:

    Hello there, sweetness. I’m very well, although Spokane has been pummeled by torrential rain all day (very localized – you may not have gotten it all the way up where you are).

    What have you been cooking? How the hell are you?

  30. 30
    Yutsano says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: I posted it one thread down, it’s near the bottom. The cook who showed me this recipe is like Bob Ross for foodies. Plus any excuse to cook baby sheep is worth it to me. Although I know that tends to send you into hysterics.

    I’m pretty darn good, a little annoyed because there’s a position I’m qualified for that I have to let pass for now because of my upcoming convalescence. But at least all the paperwork is in for me to be absent for six weeks.

  31. 31
    piratedan says:

    @Yutsano: hopin you have a speedy and uneventful recovery Yutsy

  32. 32

    @Yutsano:

    Promotions can wait. There will be another one along eventually. It is the public sector after all.

  33. 33
    Yutsano says:

    @piratedan: Thanks. I think I’ll be just fine. My doc is one of the top in the field at this and he’s pretty enthusiastic for success. I just want to stand upright again.

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: I’m almost certain this opportunity will arise again. It all depends on budgeting. Which is a total mishegas right now. Fucking Congress.

  34. 34
    A Humble Lurker says:

    Y’all should totally shack up and make balloon babies the caramel shade of El Presidente. T’would be awesome.

    And that hugging line is going to make me giggle for a good long time. If this is their effort to distract people from the birth control stuff it’s A) not going to work, and B) even if it did, it would only be slightly less stupid, and would do them little good. So let the freakout commence!! Nobody but the choir bought into that William Ayers shit the last time, and nobody but them will buy into it now.

  35. 35
    runt says:

    I guess it’s because I’m a Yuropean communo-fascist, but I’m completely stumped by this one. What exactly do the wingers think they have caught Obama doing here? Speaking while black? Having gay sex in public?

    I just don’t get it. I can’t imagine what they think they see.

  36. 36

    @runt:

    I guess it’s because I’m a Yuropean communo-fascist, but I’m completely stumped by this one.

    Agreed. I don’t get it either.

  37. 37

    Laughed? I giggled. Good one, ABL.

  38. 38
    Nutella says:

    I just don’t get it.

    They see two black men who are obviously allies, so they must be conspiring to overthrow the whites. As they do.

  39. 39
    NobodySpecial says:

    @runt: Relevant

  40. 40
    Corpus Christy says:

    I like ABL, but the phrase “lesser [or “little”] known fifth horseman of the apocalypse” is a worn-out phrase that one should use only if he or she coined it. I snorted a few years ago, the first time I read.

    Sorry for the golden shower on the love-parade. (And I really do love ABL!)

  41. 41
    runt says:

    @NobodySpecial: Heh. Maybe it’s best not to understand them…

  42. 42
    Elmo says:

    Uppity!

    Apparently the next bombshell is that Michelle Robinson – who is also black! – participated in a sit-in at Harvard! Before she met her future husband, but while she was black!

  43. 43
    Ben Cisco says:

    Perfect way to start the day – a good old ABL 2.0 (that, BTW is also hilarious!) snarkfest.
    __
    If these guys could only see themselves as we see them, they’d…probably blame us for spiking their water supply or something. Nevermind.

  44. 44
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Corpus Christy: No, Fifth Beatle is worn out. Maybe I don’t travel in sufficiently apocalyptic circles, but I don’t come across the fifth horseman reference all that often.

  45. 45
    AxelFoley says:

    @David Koch:

    The bible tells us to beware of Shadrach, Meshach and a big negro.

    I was gonna make a witty comment, but I see David just won this thread.

  46. 46
    Montysano says:

    No one could have predicted, etc, but Hannity has elected to fuck that chicken for all it’s worth.

  47. 47
    Ben Cisco says:

    @David Koch:

    The bible tells us to beware of Shadrach, Meshach and a big negro.

    I know some ladies who didn’t listen.

  48. 48
    Egg Berry says:

    @David Koch:

    The bible tells us to beware of Shadrach, Meshach and a big negro

    Abednego=A bad negro.

  49. 49
    Keith G says:

    Either/Or?

  50. 50
    Phoebe says:

    Yes to ABL posting here. That is all.

  51. 51
    maya says:

    So it isn’t the “whitey” tape after all. It’s the Blacky tape.

  52. 52
    burnspbesq says:

    So the ability to find humor in gibberish is the new litmus test for identifying the Kewl Kidz?

    You can have it. This place has gone off the rails.

  53. 53
    Tone In DC says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Yet somehow… I think you’ll survive.

    ABL, great stuff. May Hannity and Dimbart’s unmerry men tie themselves in knots trying to turn this tape into “ZOMG its that AYERS guy again!!1!”

  54. 54
    rlrr says:

    @Citizen_X:

    One of my former classmates is a big shot in the Holocaust denial crowd…

  55. 55
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @burnspbesq:

    No prob. Be sure to let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

    /toodles!

  56. 56
    samara morgan says:

    again, if you want to understand republicans, first understand evolution.
    its impossible for organic conservatives to conceive of order outside of social dominance order.
    they believe that if they can glue Alinsky’s ideas onto Barack Obama that will defeat Obama. Just like they believe that if they were allowed to glue rev. wrights ideolgy onto Obama he would have lost in 2008.
    The only reality is evolution.
    The evolution of the demographic timer and the RAE (Rising American Electorate).
    Nate hatez meh sayin this cuz it fucks up the horserace………..but……..demographics is destiny.
    ;)

  57. 57
    samara morgan says:

    @Tone In DC: Evolution is the answer.
    i personally think Cole could make a great chirpstory if he would just lower himself to do it.

  58. 58
    opie jeanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Terry Pratchett’s Ronnie Soak: He left before they were famous, over artistic differences.

  59. 59
    Brachiator says:

    @David Koch:

    The bible tells us to beware of Shadrach, Meshach and a big negro.

    Priceless!

  60. 60
    Gunga Dean says:

    ABL is the best most brilliant snark master on the web.

  61. 61
    Arclite says:

    This is why I want ABL posting here.

    Um, I thought ABL already was posting here? Did I miss another blowout?

  62. 62
    Jim Pharo says:

    Me = ABL fan.

  63. 63
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    “I love ABL the mostest!” “No, I do!” “No, me, I want her to carry my children!” No, it’s me–no one thinks she’s as brilliant as I do!”

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