Never Gonna Get It

I’ve seen a lot of clueless male stupidity in my life, but this video of Republican Delegate Dave Albo, one of the sponsors of Virginia’s trans-vaginal ultrasound bill, explaining how it’s keeping him from getting laid has got to be one of the top 10. (via OTB) Open thread.

141 replies
  1. 1
    cathyx says:

    Hey Dave Albo, TMI.

  2. 2
    Irving says:

    Heh. My wife was wondering when some Rethuglican’s wife would pull a Lysistrata over this bill. Looks like it wasn’t all that long.

  3. 3
    YellowJournalism says:

    This story gives “go fuck yourself” an interesting new context.

  4. 4
    cathyx says:

    Maybe his wife is just using this as an excuse. The ‘I have a headache’ excuse can only be used so often.

  5. 5
    PurpleGirl says:

    Sorry, asshole, but you are not due an apology from anyone; and if your wife went to bed tres early because she was mad at you for sponsoring the Transvaginal ultrasound bill, I salute her. (Of course, he’s such as asshole, who knows what other horrible acts he did that day to provoke that reaction from her.)

  6. 6
    Soonergrunt says:

    @cathyx: I was just thinking that. I mean, I’m not a woman, but I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hit that.

  7. 7

    Yeah, nothing says seduction like sitting on the couch watching TV and telling her how tired you are. That’s almost as romantic and seductive as, “Hey baby, wanna f*ck?”

  8. 8
    serge says:

    How very droll…problem is they’re fucking with peoples’ lives. “Here, honey, I’m just going to ram this broom handle up your hoo-ha, it won’t hurt. You’ll thank me later.”

  9. 9
    mistermix says:

    @Soonergrunt: Who knows — maybe she’s into beer bellies, bad haircuts and Sears sportcoats.

  10. 10
    JPL says:

    If I were his wife and saw that video, I’d not feel very loving towards him. What an ass…

  11. 11

    Interesting that the Delegate would have voted for a bill that he can’t bring himself to name properly: “trans-v this and trans-v that.”

    It’s called transvaginal ultrasound, Delegate Albo: if you can’t say its name, you shouldn’t be so gung-ho to mandate it.

    If this is the GOP’s version of the Occupy movement (Occupy Lady Parts?), it’s going to fail miserably.

  12. 12
    cathyx says:

    She needs to have the Redskins playing in the background in order to get in the mood to have sex with him.

  13. 13
    Jennifer says:

    What an ass.

    He’s owed an apology because he gave his wife yet another excuse not to do him? Where’s his apology for treating the women of Virginia like mindless infants and threatening state-sponsored rape?

    As Mel Brooks observed, the difference between tragedy and comedy is when I stub my toe, that’s tragedy – when you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck, that’s comedy. So not getting a piece of ass is a tragedy for Albo, while the offensive legislation he sponsored that led to him not getting a piece of ass is the basis of comedy gold.

  14. 14
    cathyx says:

    There is so much wrong with his approach that I don’t know where to begin. Ok, start with the TV being on or at least if it’s on that isn’t playing a porno.

  15. 15

    I hate conservative as much as the next guy but that was meant tongue in cheek, was a pretty funny story, and got a good laugh. The guy’s still a dick but not because of that comment.

  16. 16
    BO_Bill says:

    The word transvaginal is a welcome addition to the English language, although I must admit that it catches me somewhat at a loss. This is not in keeping with my usual familiarity with, and admiration of, the female anatomy. So I consulted the urban dictionary.

    Hi Jennifer.

  17. 17
    harlana says:

    somebody put this up on my FB – i still haven’t watched it, not sure if i can

    my comment: welcome to the Modern Republican Party, completely devoid of class and decorum!

  18. 18
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    @The Ancient Randonneur: I suppose you’re not quite ancient enough to have heard (or too ancient to recall) the old definition of Italian-American foreplay:

    (couple in bed, husband elbows wife in ribs) ‘Ay! Wake up!

  19. 19
    Amir Khalid says:

    He talks about intimate marital matters of no relevance to business at hand in a session of his state legislature, and the speaker doesn’t even tell him off for breach of decorum? Yeesh.

  20. 20
    CT Voter says:

    He can’t even say “vaginal”, the panty-sniffing creep.

    But hey, he sure does like to brag about his big TV.

  21. 21
    JGabriel says:

    Normally, I’d predict that Dave Albo will never again have sex with his wife.

    But there’s nothing normal about this. One assumes Mrs. Albo knew what she was signing up for when she married him.

    So. Do the Albo’s ever sex each other up again or not? I’ve no fucking clue. Republican’s just make no damn sense to me whatsoever. It’s like they live in a surreal world envisioned by Dali, if Dali were an evil retarded 13 year old.


  22. 22

    In his marriage, the Redskin’s game is considered 1st base. The problem was he went straight to 3rd base, putting his arm around her, and totally messed up the republican foreplay order by skipping the requisite Alinsky manuever. Has he not read Rules for Radical’s Sexytime?

  23. 23
    Elizabelle says:

    @gocart mozart:

    What I think will be a problem for Albo (outside the bedroom): he represents a moderate DC suburb district.

    It was a surprise to see he was a sponsor of the invasive bill — would have been less so if some of the DC exurban red meat Republicans did so, but it was Albo’s name on it.

    I think this might be a “GHWBush appoints Clarence Thomas” moment for him.

    The mask is off. Albo’s got a lot of moderate GOP women (and men) who supported him previously, and Democrats who didn’t sweat his being there since he was perceived as a fairly moderate Republican.

    This is going to be a problem for Bob McDonnell too. He cruised to victory by not being the culture warrior who went to Regent (Pat Robertson U) that his college writings indicated.

    I just hope all of this helps to elect Tim Kaine to the Senate. George Allen again? I don’t think so!

  24. 24
    Woodrowfan says:

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    West Virginia foreplay: “Get in the truck!”

    WASP foreplay: drying the dishes

    etc, etc.

  25. 25

    @Amir Khalid:


    You’re right, of course. This particular ramble was coarse and had no relevance to the topic at hand.

    But that sort of thing is fairly common in some circles.

    This is part of what women’s liberation and charges of sexual harassment are about. Women find it difficult to work in an atmosphere that resembles the locker room. Men apparently think it’s normal. [Yes, I’m generalizing here]

  26. 26
    c u n d gulag says:

    That Mrs. Albo must have been really, really, REALLY, desperate not to be an old maid.

    This boy doesn’t look like he could get laid with a fistful of pardons in a women’s prison.
    Or one for men, either.

  27. 27
    Elizabelle says:

    What I find funny about that video:

    Watch the guy immediately behind Albo.

    He realizes the chamber’s camera is on them both, first attempts to literally hide behind Albo, and flees the chamber once he sees where the story is going. (About the time the “mood music” comes on.)

    Also note that “the gentleman from Alexandria” who spoke out against this legislation is never named. (Less a problem for Albo; that might be how they talk in the Virginia Senate when they’re not discussing their sex lives on camera.)

    But can we get the dude some recognition?

  28. 28
    cathyx says:

    Since they only have one child, Mrs Albo either uses birth control or she good at coming up with excuses.

  29. 29
    SpaceChief says:

    This guy didn’t have the guts to say the whole word. That’s how gutless these vile,disgusting pigs are.

    Memo to nutjobs: Christ believed in feeding the poor and was against the death penalty

    Memo to Christians: god is every bit as twisted and warped as the people who made him up and believe in man-made religions

    Memo to Non-Theists: Speak up everywhere you go – do not be afraid – these people are gutless chest thumpers without cogent logic. The Time to END THE WAR ON SCIENCE is now – as in – immediately.

  30. 30
    John Weiss says:

    I’ll say what I mean: this guy is the definition of ‘dickhead’.

    That’s all, I’ll tell you that’s all…

  31. 31
    WereBear says:

    @cathyx: My thoughts as well. And after this video goes viral (and how can it not?) her “in the mood” likelihood now approaches zero.

  32. 32
    Poopyman says:

    Prior to his 18 years service as your delegate, Dave served as Prosecutor for Fairfax City and as Guardian for abused children.

  33. 33
    toastr says:

    I laughed. Still horrified at the whole concept of a ‘trans-v’ law – as well as the mindset of those who promote it – but that was about as good as it gets for conservative GOP humor.

  34. 34
    Poopyman says:

    No mention anywhere on his website about his, ummm, “cultural” legislation. In fact:

    The House and Senate have introduced 2,527 pieces of legislation this Session, and are also tackling a number of proposed budget amendments. If you read The Washington Post, you would think all of our bills are about guns and abortion. The facts are that 98.9% of our bills deal with everything but. The information included in this letter highlights just a few of the issues we have been working on so far!

    … And nothing about “Trans-V”, by any name.

  35. 35
    aimai says:

    That woman knows plenty of nice, middle class, families that have had abortions, or miscarriages that lingered and couldn’t be removed because of the laws against abortion (its very common for women to be forced to undergo weeks of waiting for a miscarriage to “pass naturally” while the dead fetus lingers inside). She’s probably had at least a few invasive procedures during the course of her pregnancy and birth with their only child. And she is almost certainly on some form of birth control other than mere nausea at the sight of her husband.

    If she even knew he’d sponsored this bill she was told it was an “informed consent” bill that applies only to “other” women. Seeing it debated on TV made her realize there was going to be a massive shit storm of angry women calling her up to ream her out for her husband’s now public actions.

    And he still doesnt’ get it. There’s no way she just went to bed sulking. And he gets up and makes a joke of it in public? I hope she pukes on his shoes next time he approaches her for sex.


  36. 36

    What kind of classless deuche brings up trying to have sex with his wife, not for procreation reasons mind you, in a televised meeting of any sorts.

  37. 37
    Poopyman says:

    On the other hand, Google autocomplete will give you this guy as second choice after “delegate d”. I expect him to be at #1 in the next day or so.

  38. 38
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Sadly, I do think this was an attempt to acknowledge that he got this issue wrong and that it was something that deeply offended women. The way he went about it, though, indicates that he doesn’t really understand why.

  39. 39
    R-Jud says:

    @Uncle Cosmo: Australian foreplay: “Brace yourself, Sheila.”

  40. 40
    Violet says:

    The guy tells a good story. He’d probably be good at giving a speech at a rehearsal dinner or roast or something. But this is ridiculous. And his wife should rake him over the coals for telling this story.

  41. 41
    Elizabelle says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I think that’s true.

  42. 42
    noodler says:

    David Englin is the gent from Alexandria, he’s a pretty good guy, and he’s had a pretty good week. Albo’s gotten weird lately, formerly touted as a statewide candidate – but that’s past now. Boom-chicka-boom musak in the house of delegates, not really cool.

  43. 43
    Elizabelle says:


    Actually, the Albos’ son is adopted.

  44. 44
    Raven says:

    Two Americans believed to be a U.S. colonel and major were shot dead in Afghanistan’s interior ministry on Saturday, security sources said, while rage gripped the country for a fifth day over the burning of the Muslim holy book at a NATO base.

  45. 45
    Persia says:

    Woooow. I love how the point of this story is ‘somehow all this is someone else’s fault.’ This is truly the face of the Republican Party, 2012.

  46. 46
    scav says:

    My my, one of the Original 13 Lockerooms of this Glorious Republic(tm). I’m so reassured to think the public’s well-being is safely lodged in their careful hands. At what point does the rite of Jeffersonian towel-snapping begin? Do have a question though as I’m not up on the current state of laic expressions of religiousity and moral rectitude. Is that a devote expression of the religious freedoms they’re so busily protecting?

  47. 47
    c u n d gulag says:

    Russian birth control:
    Have another shot of vodka or two, dearest husband. The more you have, the more it will help your performance.”


  48. 48
    forked tongue says:

    I thought the TV-as-seduction-aid (to say nothing of the porn music) was weird. Then he says watching the Redskins gets his wife hot, which I thought was really weird. Then just when he thinks things are going to get juicy, he decides to flip over to the news. I give up: this guy has never gotten laid in his life, and that kid is somebody else’s.

    Got a lot of laughs from the men in attendance, though. I’m not going to watch it again, but is a single woman visible in that tape?

  49. 49
    jim filyaw says:

    watch again! this is what passes for knee slapping humor among the modern republican/bible fundy/tea-bag/dimwit/southern baptist crowd. yuk, yuk, yuk, ain’t he funny?

  50. 50
    Persia says:

    @forked tongue: Yeah, there’s a woman behind him.

  51. 51
    Lojasmo says:

    I hear he also has a big “little David”. Something like 3.5 inches, fully erect.

  52. 52
    Princess says:

    It is pretty obvious that this bit of staged self-deprecation (c’mon — do you really believe this scene with his wife actually took place?) was intended to soften his image among the moderate women in his district whom he completely alienated by his sponsorship of this bill.

    Unlike the commenters here, I think most unaligned people will see this video as charmingly self-deprecating and a little funny — I saw it that way until I read the comments, found he had sponsored the bill and realized what he intended by it.

  53. 53
    maya says:

    @Raven: About which Newt, the War Candidate would say; “Bring ’em on.”

  54. 54
    lafcolleen says:

    Speaking as a wife – if my husband made a speech announcing that we’d not had sex on [his] demand, I’d be so damn angry that his chances of ever getting any again would be pretty slim.

    Is it possible he give his wife the heads up on this speech and she okay’d it? could she really be okay with him blabbing about this?

    And are we going to get an announcement (along with some man-to-man high-fiving each other) when the wife ends the sex strike? How about ongoing updates?

  55. 55
    scav says:

    @scav: mmmm, can’t even spell devout. telling. although devote/devout in that the latter are attempting to impose the former is beginning to burn a neural path. Not sure if it will help me keep them separate and properly spelled though.

    ETA: Princess may know more about humor and the unaligned, but that does make me sob a little into my coffee, if that is indeed the state of modern ‘mercan humor.

  56. 56
    Violet says:

    I can’t believe this guy thinks it’s appropriate to play pr0n music in the state chambers while telling a story about how he tries to get his wife to have seks with him. And this is the party of “family values”? The mind reels.

  57. 57
    thor heyerdahl says:

    @R-Jud: Canadian foreplay: “I’m putting the puck in the net, eh!”

    Suddenly, looking at Canada’s summer sports leagues, “Saskatchewan Roughriders” and “Going for the single point” seems a lot dirtier than they actually are.

  58. 58
    Sam Simple says:

    Reminds me of the Irishman’s idea of foreplay – “Brace yourself, Bridgette….”

    What a tool!

  59. 59
    thor heyerdahl says:

    @R-Jud: New Zealand foreplay: “Remember the sheep with the x’s spraypainted on them are the ones that kick”

  60. 60
    Marc says:

    You know, if you can’t bring yourself to SAY the word “vagina” in public, maybe you shouldn’t be sponsoring legislation mandating what gets put in it.

  61. 61
    c u n d gulag says:

    You’re probably right.

    But I can say one thing – the late Richard Pryor and George Carlin have nothing to worry about, regarding the comic styling’s of this pathetic asshole.

  62. 62
    Elizabelle says:

    How the capitol’s Richmond Times Dispatch (aka Times Disgrace) covered Albo’s speech: pretty straightforwardly.


    PS: I think Princess called it at 52.

  63. 63
    lafcolleen says:


    Supposing the scene with the wife didn’t actually take place? THat makes it better how?

    It is still profoundly humilating to have your sex life used as a ‘humorous’ political message –

    And are we going to get updates on the situation? will he announce when the wife’s sex strike is over?

  64. 64
    Violet says:


    You know, if you can’t bring yourself to SAY the word “vagina” in public, maybe you shouldn’t be sponsoring legislation mandating what gets put in it.

    I don’t think it’s the word “vagina” that’s the problem. That word’s been said in public a long time, thanks to “The Vagina Monologues.” But “transvaginal” is something else entirely. It’s not a vagina just sitting there doing nothing. It’s a vagina being checked out by a doctor. With a probe. Scary as hell to someone like that. Not surprised at all he can’t say it.

    These types of people are terrified of women. The only way they know to deal with that fear is by trying to control women.

  65. 65
    Mary says:

    He sponsored the bill yet he can’t even say the word “vaginal”?

  66. 66
    Marc says:

    @Violet: True, but it generally isn’t said by the sort of person who wants to pass personhood amendments and mandate invasive medical procedures. The people who want to regulate women’s bodies are generally too ashamed even to name the parts that work them up into such a lather.

    You’re right: it’s terror, plain and simple.

  67. 67
    Violet says:

    It is funny. I laughed. And I think it was intended to be self-deprecating. But the fact that his wife just went to bed kind of solidifies the female perspective on it. I don’t think it’s going to win over women.

  68. 68
    scav says:

    Thinking more about it, I’m also less sure about the meaning and magnitude of the genuinely unaligned on this topic. If you’re tending a little uncomfortable with the concept and see the clip, where it’s treated with such overt flippancy, it still might push you to the angrier camp. There’s still a residual idea floating about that large issues should be treated with gravity. No body’s really going to announce the next war with RW&B foam fingers and tossing plastic heads about the chambers of Congress. This might do more to solidify existing positions than anything more.

  69. 69

    Liberal = Occupy Wall Street
    Conservative = Occupy Vaginas*

    * but not in a good way.

  70. 70
    cmorenc says:

    Rep. Albo actually does have an intelligent strategy for getting into his wife’s pants. He figures the only way he’s going to get into her vagina is to act like a complete dildo.

  71. 71
    'Niques says:

    Maybe we should give them exactly what they’re asking for. If women would stop having sex with republicans, the breed would eventually die out.

  72. 72
    p.a. says:

    “some chose celibacy, others have it thrust upon them…”

    as an east coast libtard, I used to look down on Fox News as simply an arm of cynical conservative elites inculcating ‘false consciousness’ in the hoi polloi for the elite’s benefit. I misunderestimated Fox News. To a growing extent, it seems their elite is being stupidified also! They’re buying into the Fox echo chamber’s truthiness. We have to add George “If you believe it, it’s not a lie” Costanza to the roll of modern conservative heroes.

  73. 73
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    The RTD comments, however, would all fit in very well over here.

  74. 74
    Violet says:

    This is true and I’m in no way trying to excuse his inability to say “vagina” in public. I’m pretty sure he’d have a hard time saying that too.

    I guess my point is that the larger public has become accustomed to hearing “vagina” so someone saying it doesn’t really raise eyebrows. But “transvaginal”? That’s new. And “trans” means something’s moving all up in there. Unless that thing is their pen1s, that kind of thing makes men very nervous. And “vaginal”? That means it’s something to do with the vagina. Unless that something is that guy’s pen1s inside said vagina, then he really, really doesn’t want to know. Which is why they can’t even say the word.

    It’s telling. They’re terrified of women and women’s bodies and the only way they can deal with that fear is to try to control it. Since they can’t control themselves, they’ll try to pass laws to control women, and hope that way their urges will be controlled too.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Elizabelle says:

    From the Richmond Times Dispatch: my heroine for this morning:

    Richmond woman became the picture of protest

    Most mornings, mild-mannered Margaret Doyle, owner of Richmond’s Espresso-A-Go-Go Coffee Catering, is in a chipper mood.
    Thursday was not one of them.
    Doyle, an abortion-rights advocate, was escorted from the General Assembly Building by Capitol Police after a tumultuous committee meeting in which senators advanced a measure to define life as beginning at conception. (The full Senate shelved the bill later Thursday.)

    If you’re in Richmond, please give Ms. Doyle some business.

  77. 77

    Not sure what happened there.

  78. 78
    Elizabelle says:


    Yeah, I have been pleased to see that on a lot of political and cultural stories. Pushback against what’s often been a very conservative paper. Go readers!

  79. 79
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    This is what I wake up to? kill me now!

  80. 80
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: btw, i haven’t been able to get LS to cooperate for a pic today. still trying.

  81. 81
    Amir Khalid says:

    There are prudes who are so squeamish about mentioning genitalia that they won’t even use the names for them that their doctor would use. True story: some years ago, a Kuala Lumpur theater group was refused a permit for a repeat staging of The Vagina Monologues(the first onew was A-OK), apparently because someone at City Hall had newly decided that the v-word in the title was not acceptable.

    These people seem to think that certain of our God-given body parts are in themselves obscene, rather than merely burdened with indecent names. Mr Albo is apparently of this ilk. Deep down, he might well see sex as a privilege of masculine power in gender relationships; but semi-illicit in any other context, including that of women’s health.

  82. 82
    schrodinger's cat says:

    So this moron wants to score a goal every time he plays the game? No new Republicans indeed. I wish the wife had kicked him where it hurts the most. Idiot.

  83. 83
    Ron says:

    As disgusting as this idiot is, what disturbs me almost as much as his speech is the constant laughter by the other delegates.

  84. 84
    Mike in NC says:

    President Santorum will tap this wingnut to be his new Secretary of Morality, in charge of installing video cameras and microphones in peoples’ bedrooms.

  85. 85
    Zifnab25 says:

    Is this the Virginia Statehouse or the Water Buffalo Lodge gathering? And did that man bring in porn music on a cassette tap deck? I feel like I want to see this man holding up the day’s newspaper, because if I didn’t know better I’d say that clip was straight out of a bad 70s stand up routine.

  86. 86
    JCT says:

    Time to take up a collection for old Dave — can buy himself some porn and a box of tube socks .

    What a schmuck. Not to play into the old “women have no sense of humor” canard, but there was nothing funny whatsoever in that entire episode in Virginia.

  87. 87
    Commenting at Ballon Juice since 1937 says:

    What’s worse, his admission that he is a boring turd, or bragging about it with coworkers using a microphone? I ‘m sure he let his wife know he was going to tell this story too. Narcissistic shit stains like this are too common in politics these days.

  88. 88
    Mayken says:

    @forked tongue: There actually is one and she looked extremely uncomfortable. Sigh.

  89. 89
    Violet says:

    When’s Dave’s next election? Any challengers?

  90. 90
    schrodinger's cat says:

    How do these guys get real women to marry them?

  91. 91
    AkaDad says:

    Women voting for Republicans are like cows voting for Outback Steakhouse.

  92. 92
    Mouse Tolliver says:


    This is going to be a problem for Bob McDonnell too.

    It already is a problem based on this video from yesterday’s governors conference. Martin O’Malley, with McDonnell sitting right next to him, called attention to the damage Republicans have been doing in states like Florida, Ohio and Wisconsin by focusing on polarizing social issues instead of jobs. McDonnell just shrunk into his chair while O’Malley was doing this. When he was finally given a chance to speak, he could only weakly explain that social issues weren’t at the top of his agenda.

    I guess McDonnell’s off his game now that he’s an international laughingstock.

  93. 93
    Commenting at Ballon Juice since 1937 says:

    @Elizabelle: The son is adopted? This guy has serious mental problems.

  94. 94
    aimai says:


    I think this is pretty much wrong. The public at large (especially men) do not use the word vagina. Famously in order to get around the public ban on talking about women’s privates lots of people, including men, use childish circumlocutions like “vajayay” and “hoo hah” and “ladybits.”

    Also I get that he thinks this is “self deprecating” humor but it can’t possibly work because its only self deprecating when a really smart guy pretends to be caught out doing something stupid, or a really handsome man gets rebuffed for his sexual advances. When an overaged frat boy with delusions of wealth (46 inch tv! score!) and sexiness displays his ass in public as though he is “deprecating” his own greatness its nothing but barf worthy.

    If I were his wife I’d be deeply humiliated and if I were his female constituents I’d be furious that he still doesn’t get it. This is not about women throwing some kind of personal hissy fit. This was a very serious offense against the privacy and bodily integrity of half of his constituents.

    No doubt he thinks this constitutes some kind of apology but it has about as much charm as a teenager deciding to drunknly film an apology for the DUI that caused him to crash his parents car.


  95. 95
    WereBear says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: They don’t.

    They get women who have been acculturated to see marriage as a financial security transaction, and a way to have little babies who are, all too often, the real source of love in the marriage, at least until they become able to talk back.

  96. 96
    scav says:

    Would have thought that the very public failure of the aspirin between the knees joke would have provided a bit of a warning about the difference between the country club bar and any televised venue . . . .

  97. 97
    bemused says:

    Albo was offensive on several levels.

    1. He used his wife in his “tongue-in-cheek” story. Bad move. I doubt there are many spouses who would be amused, quite the opposite.

    2. He chose to make an ass of himself on the floor of the VA legislature (vs for a group of his good old boy buddies in a bar or on a golf course) for the whole country to witness.

    3. He actually thought he was clever to make a “joke” to try to make light of the horrendous impact of his bill and will undoubtedly alienate even more women and their partners. It was remarkably condescending and flippant.

    4. He abused his delegate seat. It’s horrifying that ignorant, fat head Republican legislators like Albo are not an aberration but all too common and they feel totally comfortable and free to display how unfit they are to be in office.

    No, I don’t see anything one bit amusing about his little act.

  98. 98
    Mayken says:

    @scav: ‘Mericans still find rape jokes and jokes about dad’s locking up their teenage daughters to be funny so….

  99. 99
    JGabriel says:


    No, I don’t see anything one bit amusing about his little act.

    Well … there’s the publicly making a national jackass of himself aspect. That part is a bit amusing, although I have to confess that even my own reaction was more gobsmacked perplexity than amusement.


  100. 100
    Redshift says:

    FYI, one of the things Albo is best known for (at least among people who pay attention to state politics) is that his day job a law practice specializing in (among other things) defending drunk drivers, and in Richmond he works to toughen drunk-driving laws to generate more business for himself. He would describe it nobly as “battling drunk driving,” of course.

  101. 101
    aimai says:

    An apology is an apology–offered to the offended person or persons. A self deprecating joke is never an apology. If Albo thinks so highly of himself and his intentions that he thinks humble-bragging like this is some kind of apology he must think he’s practically king and that this little bit of self deprecation is as far as he needs lower himself when discussing pissing off the peasants. What a phenomenal asshole. I can’t wait to see this go viral and end up on jon stewart.


  102. 102
    piratedan says:

    @Violet: damn. misread that as when his next erection was (not that it matters, he’s doing all of his Fapping @ work apparently)…..

  103. 103
    Violet says:


    I think this is pretty much wrong. The public at large (especially men) do not use the word vagina. Famously in order to get around the public ban on talking about women’s privates lots of people, including men, use childish circumlocutions like “vajayay” and “hoo hah” and “ladybits.”

    You think everything I wrote is wrong, or only this bit about saying “vagina” and “transvaginal”?

    I don’t think people are completely comfortable saying vagina. I do think they’re marginally more comfortable saying or hearing it than “transvaginal”, which implies medical procedures (another thing people don’t like) and doctors doing things to vaginas. The doctor/action-that-isn’t-sex part makes some people really squeamish. And that’s in addition to discussing or even saying the word vaginas. A lot of people still can’t do that.

  104. 104
    lafcolleen says:

    Really – the more I think about it, the more humorless it is.

    If I were his wife I’d be tempted to appear in a very public venue and be prepared to answer the inevitable questions about how I feel about my spouse’s speech with the statement that if i wanted my sex life to be made public, I’d set up a webcam in my bedroom.

  105. 105
    Bex says:

    @Mike in NC: @84. It’d be a waste of time to install them in Alpo’s bedroom.

  106. 106
    Princess says:

    @lafcolleen: It doesn’t make it better at all! The whole thing is gross. In fact, that he (probably) made the whole thing up makes it worse.

  107. 107
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    if i wanted my sex life to be made public, I’d set up a webcam in my bedroom.

    Do. Not. Want. Ew, worst pr0n evah.

  108. 108
    Steeplejack says:

    Another subtext that bugs me is this guy’s references to the “gentleman from Alexandria” in almost a “Ha-ha, good one, you pulled an office joke on me” way, ignoring the fact that this is serious, consequence-laden legislation that potentially will fuck with a lot of women’s lives. But, hey, just another laff-riot day at the office. I wonder if he can work up to “vajayjay” in his next speech.

  109. 109
    Lawnguylander says:

    Does “the public at large” have so many occasions to say the word vagina that we can gauge their comfort with the word? Who talks so frequently with people about vaginas that they’d be able to form judgments with such certainty? Sadly, I don’t get involved in too many situations where vaginas are the topic of conversation. Except in the bedroom and I’m certainly not going to call it that there. Same with the word penis. They’re just too clinical to be any fun.

  110. 110
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Rule 34.

  111. 111
    wrb says:


    I’m in no way trying to excuse his inability to say “vagina”

    I’m sympathetic. Some people have difficulty saying words when they know that they will send some in the audience into wild hilarity.

    Think of the first graders listening. It isn’t safe even to say “butt” before that audience.

    “He said BUTT!! … BUTT BUTT BUTT hehehehe BUTT!!”

    “VAGINA!” eeeeeee!

  112. 112
    gil mann says:

    @gocart mozart:

    Thanks, I was watching libs beat this guy up all morning on other sites and I was wondering what the hell’s wrong with me that only I saw it that way.

  113. 113
    aimai says:

    Violet, its silly to argue about it. I actually have had a transvaginal ultrasound very recently. I don’t think the word “trans” or even the addition of the idea of the medical procedure made it scary to the legislators or to the public–I think it was adding the word “vagina” to “ultrasound” that made it particularly problematic. Most people who heard about this legislation assumed that it meant the ordinary ultrasound which they knew, or thought they knew, happened in a certain way that they’ve seen on TV or know someone had. The addition of the phrase “transvaginal” freaked people the fuck out because they had managed to expunge from their consciousness the idea of the scary vagina and also the woman around it. The whole thing was a massive snowball to avanlanche cascade of criticism that surrounds the public’s refusal to deal honestly with words like vagina. Not transvaginal. And, in fact, in this clip he basically asserts that the very word vagina is obscene and not to be mentioned in public just like he says “Holy smokes” and not “holy shit” which no one watching this video is to believe isn’t the actual phrase he would have used for surprise.


  114. 114
    scav says:

    Ok, let’s kick the can a little further. Virginia is for lovers.

    Heh Heh, What kind of Legislation does a guy gotta pass to get laid around here?

    Pop Quiz! Legislative Body or Lockerroom?

    Top Ten Pickup Channels of the Conservative Male. Touch that Remote for Instant Access to all your Desires.

    I’m not great at this stuff but I am sensing a possible rich vein. Then again, I keep reading Alpo for Albo so I am altogether too easily amused, even while highly pissed. Guy’s just basically clueless about the game and issues he’s playing with.

  115. 115
    BethanyAnne says:

    It’s an awful bill, with the worst of intentions, but I laughed watching the video. *shrug*

  116. 116
    Violet says:

    I think we’re essentially saying the same thing. I think that people are marginally more comfortable with the word “vagina” than the phrase “transvaginal ultrasound” than you do, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s the vagina part of the whole thing that freaks people out, even if, as I think, it’s the doing-something part of it that makes it real-er and scarier to people. A vagina all nicely hidden away below layers of clothes is a lot easier to not think about than one that’s being illustrated by a diagram with a probe stuck up it while people talk about “transvaginal ultrsounds.”

    I actually have had a transvaginal ultrasound very recently.

    I’m sorry you had to have one as I don’t think there are any good reasons to have to have one. They’re invasive and can be uncomfortable, depending on why you’re having one.

  117. 117
    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick says:


    meh, if she were really on point, she would say; if i wanted my sex life to be public, i’d have sex with my husband.

    the humor failed, but i am sure this was the best most plausible way for him to publicly back down so fast, at least he backed down.
    sorry i just don’t have instincts for propriety or faux-outraged pearl clutching, but if you do, as long as we are working to the same ends…

  118. 118
    Violet says:


    I’m sympathetic. Some people have difficulty saying words when they know that they will send some in the audience into wild hilarity.

    I’m not sympathetic in this situation at all. His fellow legislators in the statehouse are not an “audience”, despite how he’s trying to behave like a comic at a roast. And his fellow legislators are LEGISLATING ON VAGINAS. If they can’t even say the word without laughing, they have no business writing legislation on it.

    He’s not, as in your example, talking to an audience of first graders, despite how most of them seem to act.

  119. 119
    kideni says:

    @Elizabelle: Regarding this:

    Also note that “the gentleman from Alexandria” who spoke out against this legislation is never named. (Less a problem for Albo; that might be how they talk in the Virginia Senate when they’re not discussing their sex lives on camera.) But can we get the dude some recognition?

    The delegate from Alexandria is probably David Englin, who was on Maddow and several other shows recently.

    Having watched my own state’s legislative bodies in action, I suspect this is how they all talk about one another. Speeches and questions are directed toward the chair, not other legislators (unless they ask for and are granted permission to speak directly to a legislator on the floor), and references to other legislators are “the representative from [placename]” or “the gentleman/lady from the [ordinal number].” I’ve even seen them catch themselves when they accidentally use names.

    I just couldn’t figure out what was the point of Albo’s whole thing, and why it was an appropriate topic for discussion in the legislative body. It’s not as if he admitted that the legislation he introduced was fckd up. He was just whining that someone else had managed to get the media to talk about how fckd up the legislation was, and it hurt his game.

  120. 120
    lafcolleen says:

    Ah, misread you comment. Got it.

  121. 121
    wrb says:


    The comment was made with tounge-in-cheek.

    I’m not able to take this one seriously, my failure I’m sure.

    It might be different if I was able to bring myself to watch the vid, but I wasn’t.

    He’s not, as in your example, talking to an audience of first graders, despite how most of them seem to act.

    Sure he was. It was being filmed. He may now be wishing that he’d thought even more about his larger audience.

  122. 122
    Yutsano says:

    @wrb: You just called the entire House of Delegates a bunch of first graders. I admire the cut of your jib good sir!

  123. 123
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @BethanyAnne: I laughed too, but at him rather than at his joke.

  124. 124
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @Yutsano: Hey don’t hate on first graders they have far more poise and maturity than these idiots.

  125. 125
    Violet says:

    My fault for misreading your post.

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    At least first graders wouldn’t play pr0n music in the statehouse.

  126. 126
    aimai says:

    A first grader would have had no trouble saying the word “bagina”–they say it all the time.


  127. 127
    Arclite says:

    Hey, who says Republicans don’t have a sense of humor, sick and twisted though it may be.

  128. 128
    scav says:

    We just don’t get the quality of moral scolds we used to. . .

  129. 129
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    @Woodrowfan: Jewish foreplay: Three hours of begging…

    Ect, ect, ect…. ;)

  130. 130
    wrb says:


    That’s great.

    I knew a young lady who came to delight in the reactions she could get by asking strange adults if they had a ‘gina and if it was happy. She did, and it was, she’s inform them.

  131. 131
    TuiMel says:


    overt flippancy

    I think this captures it for me. Dude MAY know that he has stepped in something by sponsoring a law that is all trans V this and trans V that, but he remains clueless about the core offense and core insult of his point of view. He and his governor think they need to set the boundaries of the “informed” part of informed consent. Do they force a woman about to embark on adoption to read or watch videos about women who have felt remorse over their own decision? Of course not and the shouldn’t. These asses need to leave these choices to the women who must make them. It’s infuriating to see someone make an utter dismissal of his own role in legislation that by its mere consideration insults and invites humiliation of women.

  132. 132
    jrg says:

    I guess this guy figures that so long as he acts like a clown, government mandated rape is a fucking joke.

    What’s wrong with these people?

  133. 133
    Rita R. says:


    I just couldn’t figure out what was the point of Albo’s whole thing, and why it was an appropriate topic for discussion in the legislative body. It’s not as if he admitted that the legislation he introduced was fckd up. He was just whining that someone else had managed to get the media to talk about how fckd up the legislation was, and it hurt his game.

    Bingo. It’s hard to overstate what a collection of fail Albo’s lame attempt at humor was for many, many reasons, most of which have already been mentioned up-thread. (I’m late here again. Sigh.) But this is the main issue for me. This whole “joke” wasn’t about realizing the error of his ways, it was an offensively ligthearted treatment of an issue that’s very serious to women, presenting Albo’s main problem with the angry pushback his legislation has drawn as being interference in his ability to get some.

    We don’t even know what his wife thinks about his proposed law, because Albo apparently doesn’t think that’s relevant to share. His main concern is the sex she didn’t give him. And that’s a telling view of women from the man who proposed such anti-woman legislation.

    Adding — this is a subtle point and maybe I’m overreaching, but he also sets up the contrast between his ladylike, moral, Republican wife who needs to be seduced into sex and will quickly shut it down if the mood isn’t perfect with the sluts who get themselves knocked up because they’re such brazan hussies and want to get an abortion.

  134. 134
    chrome agnomen says:


    hell, i live 2500 miles away, and i want to send her some coffee money! she’s fighting for me, too!

  135. 135
    Tehanu says:

    @Rita R.:

    You’re not overreacting. This is exactly how they “think” (scare quotes on purpose).

  136. 136
    Interrobang says:

    I laughed, but I was laughing at him, not with him. If Voltaire was on the liberal side of this debate, he’d be thinking that God answered his prayers bigtime in the person of Rep. Albo.

    The phrase that comes to mind after watching that video is “pathetic little weaselly overgrown frat boy,” which doesn’t mean I can’t derive some lulz at his expense while he brags about his oversized glass teat and his overdone seduction techniques.

  137. 137
    scav says:

    Needs to be memorialized. Coming soon to the VA House of Delegates: “Hey Guys! We need some input from the skirts on this issue: let’s consult the Alboimeter! Hands up everybody who got some last night. Heh Heh, Chucka-Chucka, Motion Carried!”

  138. 138
    pragmatism says:

    I appreciate the attempt at comedy.
    I did not appreciate the concept or execution.
    I especially do not appreciate the insinuated tail wags the dog logic that it was anyone else’s fault but his.
    Also, old sport, the reason you feel uncomfortable saying vagina is that someone along the way taught you that people prefer to keep the subject matter ofreproductive organs private. Try to remember that next time you and your crack comedy legislative staff discuss ideas.

  139. 139

    I can’t imagine anyone wanting to fuck this fat pig anyway accept for possibly Barney Frank.
    This pigs wife should do him a favor and put a little .22 caliber round in his empty punkin fuckin head!
    American Spring Already.
    She should get a medal!

  140. 140
    Nutella says:

    I hope that the sequel to this sad attempt at comedy is Mrs Albo changing the locks and filing for divorce. All she’ll need for evidence of why she needs to dump this miserable shit is this video.

  141. 141
    Marshall says:

    @Elizabelle : In the US Congress and the Virginia House (and, I am sure, Senate), along with the UK House of Commons, the protocol is that you don’t refer to your colleagues by name. I think it is an old convention to keep things civil. So, “the Gentleman from X” is actually the way you are supposed to do it.

Comments are closed.