I had to turn off the debate when John King teased the “describe yourself in one word” question, since I don’t think my liver could have stood the onslaught that would have caused. Still, I was able to watch the usual pooping-upon of immigrants (with a special bonus shout out to Joe Arpaio) as well as some quality slut shaming, so I was left wondering who Romney is going to choose as his running mate. To help repair the damage to women and minorities (you know, the ones doing all the fucking, according to Romney), it’s got to be a brown vagina-haver, so that narrows our field to three that I can think of:
* Nikki Haley is the right color and gender but seems unable to keep an aspirin between her legs when men other than her husband are around. Also, too: it would be nice to have someone on the ticket from a state that isn’t an automatic win for Republicans.
* That leaves us with a female governor of a small western state, Susana Martinez. In addition to perhaps delivering New Mexico, which has been fairly Democratic of late, she might help with Arizona, where Romney isn’t polling too well, and Colorado.
Can anyone think of another brown female friend that Mitt can happen to have?