This is a benevolent dictatorship, and you come when I call or this is your fate:
It does appear that Tunch, unwilling to concede that he was in the wrong, has decided to deploy his KITTYZOMGLAZERSPEWPEWPEW in an attempt to gain entrance to the household.
I’ll pay for this crime, I’m sure.
Raven
Looks like a snow drift with eyes!
Nancy
Let that freaking kitty in or he will squash you like a bug!
Odie Hugh Manatee
Now that’s an imposing stare! The size is pretty damned impressive.
Also. Too.
jacy
I dunno – he kind of looks like a furry, white wrecking ball. How strong are your fortifications?
robertdsc-PowerBook
If you show a picture of Lily like this, I’m calling the President to order a drone strike on your house.
BGinCHI
I for one welcome our bright-eyed Tunch overlords.
General Stuck
Tunch looks hungry, and quite evil. I’d sleep in the bathtub tonight, preferably full of water, just to be sure.
Raven
@Odie Hugh Manatee: Two axe handles wide!
cathyx
A nicely placed cat turd should do the trick.
joeyess
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…… Cole cracks me up.
MikeJ
I didn’t think light could escape that much mass. Maybe the glowy bits are Hawking radiation.
RossInDetroit
Not good odds. How far is the nearest international border?
trollhattan
Tunch=Schmoo.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lifeshmoo.jpg
Only not as compliant.
Martin
Godzilla must be near.
goethean
Why is it that you can see wooden planks right through his body?
Mnemosyne
I see the Abominable Snowman decided to pay you a visit.
eemom
speak of the kitty-devil — I was looking at my Balloon Juice calendar and I noticed there’s a picture of Tunch on every page except May. Why isn’t he on May??
Cassidy
Dude’s gonna get shanked when he’s sleeping.
MikeJ
@Martin: I always thought he was sort of green. I wouldn’t call him “near”.
tulip
My my he is a big boy isn’t he? He was looking thinner in some of the recent pictures…
Apparently it was the angle.
Cassidy
Oh and Balloon Juice Fitness Club. We should have one.
cathyx
@tulip: The camera always adds ten pounds.
SiubhanDuinne
@goethean:
I KNOW! He is like a Marshmallow Ghost Kitteh.
dance around in your bones
Dat kitteh is WIDE. Deh lazer eyes are just gravy.
John Cole
@cathyx:
Yeah, but I only used one camera.
RareSanity
Tunch is NOT amused…
All I can imagine him thinking is:
“At some point in time, you will have to sleep, human. It is then, that you will learn the consequences of your actions. Sleep tight funny man…”
Raven
@cathyx: Yea, that’s why everyone was going on and on about how slim rosie looked this afternoon.
freelancer
@cathyx:
How many cameras were on him?
jl
Oh man, you are roadkill, Cole.
Nice knowing you, big guy.
At least we will have your pic now, in your memory, at the top of the blog.
BTW, who is Tunch’s healthful slimming diet coming along? Or has he furred up for the brutal WV winters? Or is it both?
Edit: Just one roll away, Cole, just one malicious Tunchroll away, over the hapless Cole, while he SLEEPS, and its pancake time. Sweet dreams, Cole.
Villago Delenda Est
Unlike RC/Veritas’ GOP primary predictions, that you can take to the bank.
khead
They are so much happier when they are on the other side of the door, you know.
Preferably on a blanket of some kind.
Just sayin’.
SiubhanDuinne
@eemom:
I’m not home and don’t have my BJ calendar to hand, but I would have sworn Tunch was in every month. Might be misremembering, but you should maybe check again just to be sure. And I will look when I get home.
Some Guy
That boy walks the fine line of funny and intimidating with the best of them.
Some Guy
That boy walks the fine line of funny and intimidating with the best of them.
Wallis Lane
Beware the Kittens of the Corn.
greggha
Must be a big-ass camera.
cathyx
It’s a good thing you have a wide angle lens, just sayin’.
jl
Also, I think I’ll check for a high res version on the NASA site. Isn’t that Hubble telescope a wonder? Must be in the wide angle section.
Hey, 37, no fair! One of us read the other’s mind.
cathyx
I had 5 cats when I was growing up. One of them George, was obese and he was a long haired cat. Needless to say he looked huge. He never learned how to meow because he never needed to. My mom always fed him before he asked.
rikyrah
Those eyes are creepy
General Stuck
Just received my Wacom graphics tablet today, and am giddy to play with it. Move over Picasso, here i come.
Cat Lady
Jabba The Tunch.
freelancer
That cat has murder on the mind.
schrodinger's cat
I am Lolcatus of the Borg
You shall be assimilated
Resistance is futile
SiubhanDuinne
@cathyx:
I had a 24-pound cat who rejoiced, unironically, in the name of Gay. (This was in the early 1950s, okay?)
One time he was dozing on a windowseat in our dining room. He must have had a bad dream or something because he leaped up from a sound sleep, FLUNG himself through the window screen, landed several feet down, and ended up having to get a bunch of stitches because he had ripped up his side with the sharp edges of steel screening that he ripped through.
Sweet cat but kind of stupid.
Jc
Holy crap! That is one scary ass looking kitty!
Whew!
After the initial fright, I started chuckling.
Good one Cole – we know Tunch is a sweetheart – but u wouldn’t know from this pic!
khead
@schrodinger’s cat:
Heh. Looks like Lolcatus has already assimilated a few worlds.
JenJen
LOL LOL
J. Michael Neal
You can’t tell me that he’d get a treat if he had come in, because he obviously ate all of them already.
cathyx
@SiubhanDuinne: We named our cats by looking up our last name in the phone book and seeing what first names were there. We had an unusual last name, so there weren’t many names to choose from. But we ended up with George, Charlie, Peter, Ralph, and Penny.
rikyrah
found this quote about Willard at Washington Monthly:
absolutely on point. WILLARD has no ‘ Plan B’
Suffern ACE
Picture should have been taken with a Polaroid. Chicks dig that, or so I’ve been told.
jeffreyw
We try to keep up with the latest tech…
Quaker in a Basement
Sleep in the car tonight, John. Take the dogs with you.
TaMara (BHF)
That cat needs to be nuzzled. Now. In my bosom.
Bizono
That’s one rotund kitteh!
HRA
he he Tunch has a plan and there is nothing nice in it.
I recommend a can of tuna before he enters the Cole Castle.
gex
It’s Chairman Meow.
I’ll chase myself out of this thread now.
gnomedad
@eemom:
Well, no wonder he’s pissed.
schrodinger's cat
@Bizono: He is not fat, he is floofy.
tBone
Jesus Christ. That cat is one box of kitty treats away from having a reality TV crew bust down his bedroom wall and hoist him out with a crane.
Villago Delenda Est
@schrodinger’s cat:
He’s zaftig. Or zaaaaaaaffffffftig, if you will.
J. Michael Neal
@HRA: I don’t think it will do Cole any good if his breath smells of tuna by the time Tunch finally gets in.
FormerSwingVoter
That’s no moon. It’s a space station!
Carnacki
I’m confused, is that a cat or a yeti?
Spaghetti Lee
What’s this, the found-footage version of Cujo?
Michael
Oh my.
Carnacki
@Raven: Raven for the win
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
@schrodinger’s cat:
tunch is so floofy he leaves footprints in concrete.
Felinious Wench
You’re dead. Pity.
SiubhanDuinne
@cathyx:
Post-Gay (sorry, that sounds like the cat went into therapy with Marcus Bachmann, and of course that’s not what I mean), my sister had a female cat named Dinah after Alice’s cat in Alice in Wonderland.
Dinah’s first litter consisted of two kittens. We named them Jabberwocky and JubJub.
The second litter was three kittens: Mimsey, Momerath, and Bandersnatch.
The next litter was four kittens: Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.
At that point I left home.
300baud
I can’t look at that photo without hearing the Imperial March:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8&t=0m09s
gogol's wife
@Wallis Lane:
LOL. Those kids’ eyes always scared the hell out of me.
YellowJournalism
My son: “Mom, is that a scary polar bear?”
Mnemosyne
BTW, apparently a foam dart gun is the best toy EVAH! Charlotte got so mad that I wouldn’t fetch the darts for her after I shot them that she tackled Annie to take out her frustration.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@goethean:
the large cat is sitting behind a glass window and the planks are a reflection.
hamletta
@Wallis Lane: More like Kittens of the Damned!
Even George Sanders won’t be able to save our Cole!
MacKenna
Tunch looks like Mr. Creosote. Don’t offer him a dinner mint if you know what’s good for you.
J. Michael Neal
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
Those planks are behind Tunch. His gravity well is bending the light around him.
greylocks
I knew it. No way Rosie was the ringleader of this rebellion.
Gemina13
Tunch clearly Does Not Approve of this bullshit.
He looks like a sweet, fluffy kitty though. :)
Citizen_X
The
FatForce is strong with that one.And no, the planks aren’t a “reflection,” foolish humans. It looks that way because Tunch can project his ghostly image anywhere. Even INTO YOUR DREAMS!
Violet
Can anyone photochop? He needs a Sta Puft hat and bib/tie.
scav
Four threads on and John still isn’t sleeping: and with good reason. I think we’ll all be up all night.
spudgun
Oh-my-goony-goo, I just laughed so hard I blew snot out of my nose! That’s hilarious!
Alison
Two words:
Tunch. Tumblr.
Get on it, Cole.
Thoughtcrime
It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Cat.
Catsy
@gex: There is a cartoonist by the name of B. Kliban who draws cats, silly-looking cats in all sorts of situations.
One of the few that I remember to this day has two cats in it, both wearing jackets and one of them wearing what looks like a ChiCom ushanka. One cat remarks: “Mao (meow)”. The one with the hat is looking at what appears to be little black droppings on the ground, and says, “Mousie Dung.”
Say it out loud.
Can’t find a good image of it, but this is the strip on this shirt: mousie dung
Biscuits
Yes Master. His glare is strong. I just got up and opened the slider for no reason. I must now find my kitteh to cuddle.
Elizabelle
He ain’t chirping.
DanielX
@General Stuck:
Kitty laser eyes of death…forget that sleeping in a bathtub full of water, Tunch the Merciless might shove in a live electrical appliance.
russell
check your shoes for the next couple of days.
Mino
Fake. Tunch is comfortably inside, looking out. Right???
ET
Dude – even without the glowing eyes you are getting the glare of death. I would be afraid.
harlana
well, by your subsequent posts, at least we know you survived to live another day, but at the time that photo was taken, i certainly would have had my doubts
FridayNext
That’s an evil look. But for angry kitty left out during dinner, nothing beats the image of Inga, a former cat at the Mount Washington Observatory being shut out into the “worst weather in the world.”
She was fine, eventually.
Paul in KY
@MikeJ: I think he just ingested a meteor or a Toyota.
harlana
@Martin: my dear departed kitteh, who was a complete love, i named “Schmoo” because when she was a kitten she was wild as hell and it just seemed like all i could see were those big eyes during those brief intervals when she wasn’t ripping around the apartment! However, she ended up being the calmest and sweetest of the 3. Her proper name was “Chloe” but Schmoo stuck, the spelling is not proper i guess but that’s the story.
harlana
@Elizabelle: beat me to it, nope, he sure ain’t! :D
harlana
but then again, being big-boned makes you cranky, so i hear
harlana
the question being, do i wait to let him in and postpone my eventual death, or do i just go ahead and get it over with now?
harlana
i think that is the genesis of the problem right there, because the being who is in the wrong in this scenario is John Cole for expecting a cat, especially of the Tunch-variety, to come when you call, instead of showing up when he damn well pleases, naturally expecting you to be waiting by the door to let him in stat, which, after all, you should be doing in the first place.
let that be a lesson to you.
Mary
You let Tunch play outside? *shakes head*
JWeidner
Admiral Tunch, you may fire when ready.
third of two
I’ve never seen a Yeti up close before…
kc
That picture cracks me up.
asiangrrlMN
TUNCHIE! Cole! You stop being mean to poor Tunchie. Tunch, if Cole doesn’t take good care of you – you can always come live with me.