Little fluffy clouds

I’m trying to understand.

I managed to put my back out somewhere in Portugal, then picked up a dread lurgy in Amsterdam, and have therefore spent the last week making my way home to Shady Pines, swathed in a haze of Tiger Balm, vaIium, codeine and champagne, while alternately lying on the floor of hotels and groaning, lying on aeroplane seats and groaning, or sitting on toilets and groaning while squirting from every orifice. It was like a Katharine Hepburn movie, except one where Katharine knees Tracy in the balls in the first five minutes and is handcuffed to her seat for the rest of the film. My fond regards to the staff of KLM and Singapore Airlines for their sterling service and their heavy hands with the gin.

Having arrived home, I have been appropriately cleaned and medicated, and now the world is like a big, warm ball of pink marshmallow with me in the middle like a particularly unpleasant (although exquisitely perfumed) jammy filling.

I know there are important events going on outside. I’m reading my blogs and trying to take it all in but, with the bucketsful of painkillers I am on, my brain has self-deported.

As far as I can tell, lots of people are complaining because the President made a speech in which he talked about creating jobs and improving education and the unremarkable (yet rarely spoken of) idea that the rich should pay at least the same rate of tax as the non-rich, while sounding like a calm, responsible adult.

This after a week which the chosen exemplars of Republicaniness (a morally-compromised blowhard, a rich herbert with the likeability of a sanitary napkin full of blue ink, an insane gnome and an obnoxious wowser whose name is inextricably linked to lubey, shitty suds) spent flinging poo at each other, fellating the rich and otherwise saying dumb shit, while arguing about how little tax they all pay.

President Obama clearly has no idea what he is doing.

Also, Nancy Pelosi. No idea. Why on earth would she say of Newt that:

I think he’s done plenty of dumb things and there’s stiff competition for what is the dumbest thing he’s done, of course, including his violations of the ethics rules of the House of Representatives.

when she knows that it will make the 27 percent squeal at her for the next week like piggies in a sack about how unfair it is for Nancy to mention stuff for which God has personally forgiven Newt?

I tried reading Mitch Daniels’ reply but as far as I can tell he just went “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Why won’t you do what we want you to?” for ten minutes, crapped his pants and fell off his chair.

None of it is making sense.

Perhaps I need another drink….

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34 replies
  1. 1
    Johannes says:

    Actually, that’s a pretty good précis of where we are. Somewhat less scatological than strict justice would require, but you are a lady, after all.

  2. 2
    Betty Cracker says:

    I think Nancy Smash is just toying with the 27%, much as a bored elementary schooler might relieve the tedium of recess by poking her pencil into an anthill to watch the insects boil out in a fury. Only in this case, the anthill in Free Republic.

  3. 3

    @Betty Cracker:

    Yep. She’s going to make Newt squeak and then squish him like a bloated bug.

  4. 4
    Sophist says:

    I say you should have one and then, if you don’t feel better in ten minutes, send three more down as a search party to see if the first one got lost somehow.

  5. 5
    SFAW says:

    Good assessment of the Rethug field of “candidates”, with the possible exception of one teensy part: exactly which one is the “morally-compromised blowhard”? I figure it’s not Ron Paul, but the other three could certainly fit the description.

    (Well, I guess, technically, “ethically-compromised” or “honesty-compromised” would be more appropriate for all three, so perhaps I should withdraw my question? … Nah, screw ’em, they’re all evil.)

  6. 6
    SFAW says:

    I say you should have one and then, if you don’t feel better in ten minutes, send three more down as a search party to see if the first one got lost somehow.

    As has been said by others smarter than I: I am so stealing that.

  7. 7
    harlana says:

    i didn’t watch the SOTU because i’m usually in bed by that time, but not real happy with the clips i am seeing – looks like the same, lukewarm, conciliatory stuff and Charlie Pierce is gonna be disappointed but not surprised. amiwrong?

  8. 8
    sherparick says:

    @SFAW: Me to. Thank you Ssophist. Not a day goes by when I don’t learn something new on this blog.

    By the way, make mine a double.

  9. 9

    Sarah, Darling, I thought for sure you’d be in Davos this week with the other “right” people. Now you’ll miss out on your opportunity to pick up a copy of TopLink, the exclusive version of Facebook designed for the 1%, so you won’t have to sully yourself with us riff-raff here at Balloon Juice.

    :-)

  10. 10

    The President made a calm, measured speech where he assured us things would get better if we all worked together and he would lead us as a sensible adult.

    I think he was going for stark contrast.

  11. 11
    JPL says:

    @harlana: It was a long speech but it touched upon all the lies being told. Personally I would have preferred something with a little more ooomph.
    Daniels came across a little whiny.

  12. 12
    R-Jud says:

    @Sophist: Douglas Adams, right?

    Also, SP&T: Tram-a-doll (spelled phonetically to fool the moderation weasels). Look in to it.

  13. 13
    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937 says:

    Personally, I’m enjoying my morning megadose of decongestant. Are there any more Republican debates? I’m hoping for a cage match format.

  14. 14
    SFAW says:

    I’m hoping for a cage match format.

    The mental image of Newtie in a WWF/WWE leotard is not the thing you want to bring forth so early in the afternoon, ’cause it might cause some of us to “bring forth” not just the contents of our stomach, but perhaps our entire GI tract. Not unlike Vogon poetry.

  15. 15
    harlana says:

    @JPL: ok, done some reading – i should not pass judgment before checking things out – it read ok to me so i withdraw my criticism

  16. 16
    harlana says:

    @Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937: debate tomorrow night – all these debates are turning me into a bona fide alcoholic

  17. 17
    CJ in MPLS says:

    Is it just me or did anyone else think that Mitch Daniels praise of the Obama’s good marriage was a shot at Newt Gingrich?

    CJ

  18. 18
    SteveinSC says:

    Dear SP&T,

    I heard as much of Mitch Daniels’ mealy mouth rebuttal as I could stand, which seemed as much a pre-canned generic rebuttal that could have been executed anytime in the recent past. Maybe they overreacted to Little Bobby Jindal, Louisiana’s premier pushy indian. Anyway, Mitch had an annoying way of making a little popping sound, sort of like when people’s dentures re-seat (you might be victimized by this yourself.) I doubt that the transcript was able to adequately capture the full dimension of the speech without this sound effect.

    Regards,

    SteveinSC

  19. 19
    Bago says:

    I suppose it is more original than an apple tree in my backyard. Just sayin.
    http://www.discog.info/orb.html

  20. 20
    EdTheRed says:

    “They went on forever – They – When I w- We lived in Arizona, and the skies always had little fluffy clouds in ’em, and, uh… they were long… and clear and… there were lots of stars at night. And, uh, when it would rain, it would all turn – it- They were beautiful, the most beautiful skies as a matter of fact. Um, the sunsets were purple and red and yellow and on fire, and the clouds would catch the colours everywhere. That’s uh, neat ’cause I used to look at them all the time, when I was little. You don’t see that. You might still see them in the desert.”

  21. 21
    Comrade Mary says:

    I’m ignoring the politics and focusing on the music, because it’s just that kind of day.

    The Orb: Little Fluffy Clouds, including samples from a Rickie Lee Jones interview and a gorgeous Steve Reich piece recorded by Pat Methany. Steve was very, very cool about the whole thing.

  22. 22
    Comrade Mary says:

    Yeah, Bago and EdTheRed beat me to it while I was collecting links.

  23. 23
    Comrade Mary says:

    Metheny. FYWP.

  24. 24
    Yutsano says:

    @Betty Cracker: @Sarah Proud and Tall: She’s a nonna. You do NOT fuck with nonnas. A nonna taught me to make pasta. And I’m glad I’m on her side.

  25. 25
    pragmatism says:

    what were the skies like when you were young?
    They went on for ever and they when I we lived in Arizona and the skies
    always had little fluffy clouds and err.. they were long and clear and there
    were lots of stars, at night.
    And errr when it rain it would all turn, it, they were beautiful, the most
    beautiful skies as a matter of fact, the sunsets were purple and red and
    yellow and on fire and the clouds would catch the colours everywhere,
    thats, its neat because I used to look at them all the time when i was
    little. You don’t see that.

  26. 26
    Trakker says:

    “…swathed in a haze of Tiger Balm, vaIium, codeine and champagne, while alternately lying on the floor of hotels and groaning, lying on aeroplane seats and groaning, or sitting on toilets and groaning while squirting from every orifice.”

    Thanks, Sarah, for reminding me how I spent every day of George Bush’s reign (except for the champagne of course). Sometimes we forget how god-awful those years were.

    Hope you’re feeling better.

  27. 27
    wrb says:

    picked up a dread lurgy in Amsterdam

    Obscure bit information stored back in the brain holes:

    Lurgy is a term English children will use like Kooties, for something infectious and bad. There are locations in England where you’ll catch the lurgy, according to childrens’ mythologies.

    “Don’t play in that field, you’ll get the lurgy.”

    These places often turn out to be the plague fields, the mass grave sites of hundred of years ago, locations preserved by generations of children.

  28. 28
    John M. Burt says:

    Mitch Daniels often reminds me of a conversation I had recently with my four-year-old:

    Me: Didn’t you hear me say no?

    Him: And didn’t you hear me say yes?

    n.b. for Mr. Daniels: it didn’t work for him, either.

  29. 29
    dance around in your bones says:

    I just finished the codeine cough syrup the doctor gave me for my horrible cold, and I miss it already.

    The sweet, sweet poppy.

  30. 30
    valdemar says:

    Meanwhile, in Little Old England…

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/.....201254809/

    Veteran US political commentator, Todd Logan, said: “There was a lot of interesting stuff about tax and fairness, but very little about how the Republican Party is just a big piece of shit, filled with bastards and nutjobs.

    “It seems he still wants to be seen, essentially, as a figure who is above the everyday political fray instead of being the first president to include the word ‘cocksuckers’ in a State of Union speech.”

  31. 31
    Joey Maloney says:

    @Sophist: “Fat Freddy sez: If you don’t know what they are, never take more than three at once.”

  32. 32
    R-Jud says:

    @SteveinSC:

    Little Bobby Jindal, Louisiana

    I like to call him “the Jambaliar”.

  33. 33
    Bago says:

    Goddamn. I played this song as a dj at my friend’s wedding. Additionally I was in Amsterdam luckily during my next life alteration. Someone picking up the apple tree in my backyard reference makes me happy. Being able to go from “I Do” to “What were the skies like when you were young” is a moment I treasure.

  34. 34
    Made Me Laff says:

    I tried reading Mitch Daniels’ reply but as far as I can tell he just went “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! … for ten minutes, crapped his pants and fell off his chair.

    still laffin’ and blowing snot strings outta my nostrils …

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