Here Comes the Jesus Brigade

All around scumbag Tony Perkins and his assorted “Christian” organizations are now going all in for little Ricky:

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council says conservatives are looking for a candidate who will repeal the nation’s health care law, fight for pro family values and address the national debt.

“Not a lot of time was spent talking about Mitt Romney” Perkins says. He added, “it’s not news” that there’s not a lot of support among conservatives for Romney. Perkins says Romney’s Mormon religion was not discussed among those participating in the meeting.

So what does this mean? Expect conservative groups to start individually motivating their constituents to work for Santorum. Also look for more money and resources to start pouring into Santorum’s campaign. No question about it, this is excellent news for Santorum’s camp and a major blow to the Gingrich and Perry camps.

Who knew God was all worked up about the healthcare bill and the national debt. And when they say “pro family,” they mean gay bashing.






63 replies
  1. 1
    gbear says:

    Wow. Three posts in 12 minutes, two of them about the same thing. A Balloon Juice record?

    Can’t wait to see how this not-Mitt thing plays out. Hope both sides spend lots of money and energy railing against the other, with Newt lobbing the occasional bomb on his own.

  2. 2
    dmsilev says:

    I don’t think Balloon Juice front-pagers represent separate super-PACs. Y’all are allowed to coordinate with each other…

  3. 3
    cbear says:

    Who knew God was all worked up about the healthcare bill and the national debt.

    Most everyone, Cole, except you godless libruls and your little pets—and he’s probably going to start smiting the shit out of some of you people right after the big game tonight.

  4. 4
    cathyx says:

    Who knew being pro family meant watching them suffer because they can’t afford to go to the doctor. Or watching them lose their home to pay the medical bills.

  5. 5
    nancydarling says:

    Did they announce it with puffs of smoke from a chimney?

  6. 6
    scav says:

    I love it, it’s like buses, they all arrive at once in packs (not PACs).

  7. 7
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Is Tony Perkins actually Norman Bates?

    The actor was not, but this guy, well, let’s say the parallels are just too compelling to dismiss out of hand.

    And when they say “pro family,” they mean gay bashing.

    Now, this simply is not the case.

    They also mean “women, stay in your place (on a tether between the bedroom and the kitchen), and don’t even think about any sexual pleasure, slut”.

  8. 8
    scav says:

    @cbear: Well, God would be overly busy during the game now, wouldn’t he?
    The Unbelievable Truth@nancydarling: And the puffs of smoke is how they announce bowl scores.

  9. 9
    Donald G says:

    Of course, these men of God would be the first to nail Jesus to the cross for driving them out of the temple and undermining their authority in the first place.

  10. 10
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    ah, christians, like the very prayerful Speaker of the Kansas state House

    “Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8.” That’s the slogan an email from O’Neal refers to, a phrase that’s become popular in some circles on bumper stickers and other merchandise. The bible passage itself reads, “Let his days be few; and let another take his office.” The real controversy arises in the next verse of Psalm 109, however, which continues, “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.”
    In a message accompanying the email, O’Neal writes:
    “At last — I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president! Look it up — it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray. Brothers and Sisters, can I get an AMEN? AMEN!!!!!!”

  11. 11
    Cat Lady says:

    How ’bout combining the two threads called Here comes the Jesus brigade in a cart hitched to a dead horse.

  12. 12
    dmsilev says:

    @cathyx:

    Who knew being pro family meant watching them suffer because they can’t afford to go to the doctor. Or watching them lose their home to pay the medical bills.

    Well, to quote Barney Frank, they believe that life begins at conception and ends at birth.

  13. 13
    MattF says:

    Every time I hear about one of these guys being up to something, I think “Hmm, scumbag, as I recall…” Then I read about him, and he’s ‘way worse than I ever thought or remembered. And I have a good memory; they just strain credulity.

  14. 14
    Nix says:

    Going with the K St. goon…
    That is impressive! Who would have thought they could bring Jack back? Abramoff of those sweet sweet times when the GOP held all three houses and nothing could stop the flow of ill-gotten gains! Those were the days.
    Ricky… Oh this is going to be AWESOME!!!

  15. 15
    cbear says:

    @scav: Hey, this is no joke, he done smote the shit out of the Steelers last week and now he’s apparently trying to drive Cole to suicide:

    Was Tim Tebow’s game-winning touchdown illegal?

  16. 16
    eemom says:

    repeal the nation’s health care law, fight for pro family values

    Irony, we hardly knew ye.

  17. 17
    Mike in NC says:

    Perkins says Romney’s Mormon religion was not discussed among those participating in the meeting.

    No, no! Not at all!

  18. 18
    Kane says:

    If they were genuinely behind Santorum, Iowa would have been the time to offer their full support. Offering support now when Santorumentum appears to have fizzled out appears suspicious at best.

  19. 19
    David Koch says:

    Funny how Jesus didn’t care about the national debt when Bush blew the 5 trillion dollar surplus he inherited from Clinton.

  20. 20
    TooManyJens says:

    @dmsilev:

    I don’t think Balloon Juice front-pagers represent separate super-PACs. Y’all are allowed to coordinate with each other…

    FTW.

  21. 21
    scav says:

    @cbear: GoD Decides what is legal and/or off-sides and/or adultery/incest. Refs in a game, like fact-checking at the NYT . . . need I go on?

  22. 22
    Baud says:

    Apparently, BJ front pagers were waiting in breathless anticipation for this news.

  23. 23
    Carol from CO says:

    Be afraid. Be very afraid. Look what He did for the Broncos.

  24. 24
    4tehlulz says:

    So the evangelicals are supporting a follower of the Whore of Babylon against a Mormon, whose church also thinks the Catholic Church is the Whore of Bablylon?

    U doin’ it wrong Tony.

  25. 25
    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson says:

    Looks like the Charge of the Jesus Light Brigade to me. I don’t think they’ll get anywhere until a couple of the anti-Romneys decide that the grift has lasted long enough and they don’t need no more stinkin’ rubber chicken served by Red State zombies.

  26. 26
    Kane says:

    Conservati­ve evangelical leadership has shown over the years that they are part of the GOP establishm­ent. They undoubtedl­y want Romney to win the nomination­, but they can’t publicly offer their support to him without losing face from their followers. Thus, they offer their support to a candidate who is essentially out of the race, but who will peel off votes from others who might actually have a chance at defeating Romney.

  27. 27
    Cacti says:

    But the concerned, concern trolls of Balloon Juice keep telling me how the religious conservatives are going to dutifully rally around Romney, and how his Mormonism is a non-starter.

  28. 28
    nancydarling says:

    How long til Driftglass has a photoshop of Santorum in papal regalia up on his site?

  29. 29
    Brachiator says:

    Who knew God was all worked up about the healthcare bill and the national debt. And when they say “pro family,” they mean gay bashing.

    The Baby Jeebus believes in capitalism and is against free health care. Do you know how much he charged their family to raise Lazarus from the dead? It’s in the Bibble. David Brooks and Mitt told me so.

    @Kane:

    If they were genuinely behind Santorum.

    That sounds so wrong.

  30. 30
    KG says:

    @cbear: If they strictly enforced that rule, no offense would ever get a snap off, especially in the shotgun. What how many tackles are “on the line of scrimmage”

  31. 31
    hells littlest angel says:

    And yet they’ll be surprised when they find themselves choking (not to mention gagging)on Santorum.

  32. 32
    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson says:

    @nancydarling:

    Papal regalia? You mean Speedo, lube and small boy?

  33. 33
    Fwiffo says:

    This seems to be a little bit of closing the barn door after the horse went to market, or however it goes. If it was so important for them to have an anti-Romney, why did they wait until after Iowa and New Hampshire to finally settle on somebody?

  34. 34
    Jay C says:

    Perkins says Romney’s Mormon religion was not discussed among those participating in the meeting.

    That’s probably correct: Romney’s Mormonism probably wasn’t mentioned: it didn’t have to be: for reasons I’m sure we can all imagine.

    And not be the downer here, but as retrograde and mockworthy as Mr. Perkins and his merry band of wannabe theocrats might be, the more they organize and get their political act together, the more likely it is that they will be able to leverage that organization into electoral influence on more down-ticket races. The Religious Right may not (or may) be minded to line up behind the Mittbot for the Presidential race, but in terms of state and local races, the approval/endorsement/financial assistance of the Jesus-jumpers may possibly (actually, probably will) ensure an even greater representation for religious fanatics in a lot of polities.

  35. 35
    Cacti says:

    @Fwiffo:

    If it was so important for them to have an anti-Romney, why did they wait until after Iowa and New Hampshire to finally settle on somebody?

    It’s South Carolina.

    Next question.

  36. 36
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    Perkins says Romney’s Mormon religion was not discussed among those participating in the meeting.

    Because to Focus On The Penis, Mormonionism ain’t no religion.

  37. 37
    Rita R. says:

    @nancydarling:

    Personally, my favorite characterization of Santorum and his presidential quest has come from Charles Pierce, who said little Ricky “seems to be angling for the job of patriarch of Antioch.”

  38. 38
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Rita R.:
    Would that be the guy in charge of manufacturing the Holy Hand Grenades?

  39. 39
    S. cerevisiae says:

    I love the graphic Colbert uses for Santorum: Santorum as Davy

  40. 40
    Rita R. says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    “Three shall be the number you shall count, and the number of the counting shall be three.”

    Love that movie.

  41. 41
    Arclite says:

    I don’t see how the ACA is unChristian…

  42. 42
    tamiedjr says:

    @Arclite: You’re just not looking hard enough.

  43. 43
    dogwood says:

    @Kane:
    This. I have no doubt they met , settled on Santorum, and issued a press release in about an hour. Now they are on to the real purpose of the confab – running up their expense accounts on fancy hotels, expensive meals, strip clubs, peep shows, call girls and rent boys.

  44. 44
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @Mike in NC: And just think the Mormons, did all that groundwork in passing Proposition 8, in California and this is the thanks they get.
    BAWAAAHAHAHAHA!!!

  45. 45
    cromagnon says:

    I thought the Jesus Brigade was in New England tonight for the game against Satan’s spawn, Belichick and Brady…

    Go Pats!!!

  46. 46
    CarolDuhart2 says:

    Because they aren’t as organized as they like to make us believe. They watched as one after another “serious” candidates demurred. They didn’t bother to recruit one of their own, or persuade one of those running to be their champion and fund them adequately. Maybe they couldn’t agree on a person, or they tried and was turned down somehow, or they had someone and they dropped out. In any case, they knew Romney had never stopped running for President and had plenty of money to throw around in his quest. He had so much effort and money that he could win by default without someone equal in stature or resources. That they didn’t take it seriously enough is now a problem they can’t really solve.

    While South Carolina is strongly evangelical, the evangelicals haven’t taken the time to really make their case to the people they needed to make the case to in order to defeat Romney. But even if Romney loses in SC, he’s the only other person who has the organizational chops to go the distance. And against a very well-funded and organized and already running machine, a last-ditch effort just won’t work. Look at Perry. Perry started way too late and unprepared to run a national race. He may run through his money in ads, but ads alone have never won a Presidential Primary, let alone a Presidential race.

  47. 47
    MikeBoyScout says:

    I do believe that God wants the Republicans to nominate Rick Santorum.

    Rick Santorum’s Communist Clan in Italy
    You didn’t really think Granpa Santorum enjoyed being a slave coal miner in Somerset, PA, did you???

  48. 48
    RalfW says:

    So did the Family Research Council PAC endorse Santorum? Because I think it’s still a no-no for the Family Research Council Action Fund (or whatever their 501( c)4 is called) to endorse a partisan candidate.

    And for sure their ( c)3 can’t. Will the IRS investigate?

    Probably not. But they damn well should.

    If these bastards are spending tax exempt dollars shilling for that ooze, they need to get hauled in to tax court.

  49. 49
    Jennifer says:

    Possible headlines….

    Religious Leaders Promote Santorum

    Evangelicals Prefer Santorum To Mormons

    Santorum Mixes Easily With Evangelicals

    Conservative Christians Offer Full-Throated Endorsement Of Santorum

    There’s gotta be more.

  50. 50
    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson says:

    @Jennifer:

    Evangelical leaders force santorum down their followers’ throats….

  51. 51
    Josie says:

    They thought Rick Perry was going to be their guy, and it has finally sunk in that he is not going to live up to their expectations, to put it delicately.

  52. 52
    Jennifer says:

    @Josie: Perry failed the Slut-Shaming and Slut-Punishment prerequisites with his blaphemous opinion that preventing cervical cancer is a good idea.

  53. 53
    General Stuck says:

    Santorum is a genuine true believing religious nut. He has managed to tone it down some during appearances at various MSM venues, but if you listen to his townhall stump speeches, he is the same ole extreme shithead he’s always been. And the closest thing we have to a genuine national level theocrat, with whiffs of a fascist mindset. He is like demorats in the sense that he believes government can be a force for good. If you believe that good is having everyone kowtow to the bible and various radical interpretations of it, of course ministered through vessels of piety like his self.

    He is patently unelectable, unless we tumble into a dystopian free for all, and he decides to elect himself, as god would want it, according to Rick Santorum. He could easily be the Will Patton character in The Postman. I think people like Tony Perkins know this full well, and I take this endorsement of surrender to pragmatic efforts to beat President Obama, and going with one of their own to make them feel warm and fuzzy in defeat.

  54. 54
    jrg says:

    @Cacti: Whatever. They raised hell about McCain, too, but showed up to vote for him like the shitheel authoritarian mooks they are.

    Romney will put some hick like Perry in the VP candidate slot, and Jeebus will be cool with the ticket. Just wait.

  55. 55
    R-Jud says:

    @MikeBoyScout: NICE! I wondered if there’d be something like that in his past. I come from a similar background on my father’s side, and I love exploding the wingnuts’ heads on my mother’s side with the news that those hard-workin’, Medal of Honor winner-spawnin‘, coal-minin’ Italian great-grandparents of mine were honest-to-God sociaIists who had to get out of Italy when it went fascist.

    ETA: And also, too, that my grandfather was most likely an anchor baby.

  56. 56
    Raenelle says:

    When they say family values, they first and foremost mean patriarchy–men have the power; women and children are subsidiaries. Gay bashing is just an add-on. IMO.

  57. 57
    quannlace says:

    Gosh, who knew Santorum believed that the earth is only six thousand years old?
    I mean, that is the view of the majority of evangelical pastors.

  58. 58
    handsmile says:

    [I posted the comment below at the end of Tim F.’s “…dead horse” thread, before realizing that John Cole had written on the same subject, and this thread still has faint signs of life.]

    How heavenly ironic that this conclave of fundamentalist Christian patriarchs has chosen a Papist as their preferred candidate. Santorum’s religious beliefs (and he himself is deeply conservative theologically within that faith) would have been denounced as wicked and idolatrous a generation ago by these same evangelical leaders.

    This endorsement should offer some clue as to just how unholy and unworthy they regard Mormons.

  59. 59
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Jennifer:

    Other headlines:

    Evangelicals Embrace Santorum

    Evangelicals Swallow Santorum

    Conservative Christians Find Santorum Acceptable

    Christian Conservatives Using Santorum To Ease Mormon Member Out

  60. 60
    MikeBoyScout says:

    @55 R-Jud: My friend, I know a lot about our boy Rick. ;-)

  61. 61
  62. 62
    DanielX says:

    @nancydarling: Actually, I heard tell they distributed hand engraved stone tablets…

  63. 63
    DanielX says:

    @Brachiator: And in other news, Get Behind Me Satan by the White Stripes is now the semiofficial musical theme work for the Santorum campaign…ouch.

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