Man on Dog and Dog on Car are staying in, but Sunglasses on Dog is going home…

Michele Bachmann yesterday:

As Iowans begin the process of caucusing tonight, I am confident that our message of consistent conservatism will resound across all of Iowa’s 99 counties. Iowans, this is our chance to take our country back. Let’s get started.

Michele Bachmann today suspending her campaign:

Last night, the people of Iowa spoke with a very clear voice, and so I have decided to stand aside. I have no regrets. None whatsoever. We never compromised our principles. … While a congresswoman by title, a politician I never have been, or will I ever hope to be.

There may be a hint of regret there, seeing as she also noted that:

I didn’t tell you what the polls said you wanted to hear.

Never mind, Michele – at least your little dog got some darling accessories out of the trip. Don’t let the door hit you on the crazy on your way out.

H/t to commenter JGabriel for the “Dog” meme, which will (I suspect) be entertaining us all (and Josh Marshall) for weeks, and to suzanne, who got there first with “Sunglasses on Dog”, damn her.

141 replies
  1. 1
    JGabriel says:

    Sarah, Proud and Tall:

    I don’t know who used the “Man on Dog” v “Dog on Car” line first, but let me know and I will give due credit.

    That would be me. Sunglasses On Dog is mine too.

    Also That Dog Is Not The Federal Government’s Responsibility and Wants A Dog.

    .

  2. 2
    gogol's wife says:

    I believe it was JGabriel in one of the threads last night (not absolutely sure though).

  3. 3
    pragmatism says:

    yep jgabriel. still cracking me up today. tell him what he’s won, johnny!

  4. 4
    feebog says:

    Sorry to see Ol’ Crazy Eyes leaving. She was a hoot and a half, plus all the “Gay Radar” speculation about Marcus was entertaining. Here’s hoping that she gets her ass kicked in MN 6 as well.

  5. 5
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    Am I remembering things correctly? Did Bachmann say she would not run for Congress again regardless of the outcome of her now-failed run for president? Is it possible we can be rid of her so easily?

  6. 6
    pragmatism says:

    since perry is back in, he needs a dog handle. doggerhead? there has to be something better.

  7. 7
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    JGabriel, who has already piped up and rightly claimed credit for a very good meme.

    Dog on Car
    Man on Dog
    The Federal Government has no business with that Dog
    Sunglasses on Dog

    I don’t think he bothered with Noot.

  8. 8
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @pragmatism:

    “That Dog Don’t Hunt”?

  9. 9
    Full of Woe says:

    “Contacted for comment, God’s only response was uproarious laughter.”

  10. 10

    @JGabriel:

    Sunglasses On Dog is mine too.

    Really? Damn. And here I thought I was being funny.

  11. 11
    Yutsano says:

    MN6 is scheduled to be re-districted out of existence. So unless they tailor-make a district for her she’s pretty much toast as a politician. She always has an Ailes chair waiting though.

  12. 12
    chopper says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “on his 3rd dog”

    or, “put down his first two dogs”

  13. 13
    JGabriel says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I don’t think he bothered with Noot.

    I did. Newt is Wants A Dog.

    Am I the only who remembers the ridiculous interview from last week or so, where he tried to humanize himself by talking about how much he wants a dog? Dude’s rich, he can fucking well afford a dog if he really wants one.

    .

  14. 14
    g says:

    The numbers tell the story. she got around 6000 fools to vote for her, just a little more thant the number she paid (with concert tickets) to vote for her in the August straw poll. All that work for five months campaigning, for a net gain of 1200 votes.

    She’s damn right she’s not a politician.

  15. 15
    Kremer says:

    @feebog:

    Here’s hoping that she gets her ass kicked in MN 6 as well.

    Nah, not much chance. Her district is mostly as nutty as she is.

    @Yutsano :

    MN6 is scheduled to be re-districted out of existence. So unless they tailor-make a district for her she’s pretty much toast as a politician. She always has an Ailes chair waiting though.

    Is that true? Here’s hoping…

  16. 16
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @JGabriel:

    Ah, yes.

    I vaguely remember what happened last week. It was so long ago. I also vaguely remember a time when Wants a Dog was the front runner, but that seems to have been when dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

  17. 17
    pragmatism says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: lol indeed he don’t. governor good coat? JGabriel, you haz the funneh. help us out here with perry.

  18. 18
    JGabriel says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Really? Damn. And here I thought I was being funny.

    Actually, turns out it was suzanne who came up with Sunglasses On Dog. I’m guessing all three of us came up with it independently, but suzanne got there first.

    My cite for it is about 20 minutes later, where I called Bachmann Sexually Ambiguous Husband’s Sunglasses On Dog.

    .

  19. 19
    Morbo says:

    @JGabriel: Huh, when I think of Sunglasses on Dog I think of Deal With It.

  20. 20
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    I hope you’re correct, Yutsano (@ 11)! But as you said, she’ll be settling her keister into a seat on Fox News to continue sputtering her nonsense.

  21. 21

    @JGabriel:

    Prizes of sequinned pet eyewear for all!

  22. 22

    The always delightfully catty Gawker made note of Marcus Bachmann’s cold sore, which I’m sure is the real reason Michele dropped out of the race.

  23. 23
    cbear says:

    @JGabriel: That was some brilliant shit last night, dude. I salute you.

  24. 24
    Calouste says:

    Perry would be Man Shoots Dog, would it? If you count a coyote as a dog that is, and if you believe Perry shoots straight enough to actually hit a coyote. Some reports from Texas suggest that Perry isn’t much of a straight shooter though.

  25. 25
    srv says:

    What about Willard’s line on Newt: Old Dog, Newt Tricks?

  26. 26
    Citizen_X says:

    @pragmatism: “Shoots dogs while jogging.”

    @chopper: “Gets new dog, has old dog put down?”

    ETA: Argh! Calouste beat me to it.

  27. 27
    feebog says:

    @ Yutsano:

    I googled up MN. redistricting. According to Teh Google MN will still have 8 congressional seats. Link:

    http://www.tcdailyplanet.net/n.....ter-census

  28. 28
    Yutsano says:

    Minnesota is scheduled to lose one (or two, I forget which) and hers is already a crazy gerrymandered carve-up now. Getting a safe district will be rather complicated to do without resorting to the same cartographical distortions. Or without throwing her against another Republican.

  29. 29
    Under the Aurora Freeway says:

    She wasn’t even the Ted Williams “there goes the … that ever lived” of vile and crazy, not even this year.

  30. 30
    srv says:

    @Calouste:

    Perry would be Man Shoots Dog

    All hair, no dog

  31. 31
    pragmatism says:

    @Citizen_X: @Calouste:
    that’s totally the right angle. well done.

    can newt be: “Needs Dog to appear human”?

  32. 32
    Calouste says:

    75-year old cancer survivor says “we are believed around the world to be weak” and “in decline.”

  33. 33
    Churchlady320 says:

    Yes – the comic relief factor was certainly fun! The rabid, slavering policy stuff? Not so much.

    Not to worry. She won’t go far. She’s as wedded to media coverage and crowd adulation and Sarah.

  34. 34
    lamh35 says:

    Conservative leaders James Dobson, Don Wildmon, and Gary Bauer are meeting again in Texas next weekend to build “consensus” and possibly rally around a presidential candidate who is not Mitt Romney, Politico reports. “You and your spouse are cordially invited to a private meeting with national conservative leaders of faith at the ranch of Paul and Nancy Pressler near Brenham, Texas, with the purpose of attempting to unite and to come to a consensus on which Republican Presidential candidate or candidates to support, or which not to support,” read an invitation that is making its way into inboxes this morning. With Michele Bachmann now out of the race, social conservatives will have a choice of Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Perry (who finished a distant fifth in Iowa, but has pledged to take his campaign into South Carolina). Iowa Evangelical leader Bob Vander Plaats — who endorsed Santorum before Christmas — has also urged some of the hopefuls to “reconsider” their candidacies to avoid splitting the social conservative vote. (HT: Right Wing Watch)

    SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES HUDDLE TO PREVENT ROMNEY VICTORY

  35. 35
  36. 36
    The Dangerman says:

    Shouldn’t Newt be “Impeach the Big Dog”

    Edit: Perhaps “Dogging The Big Dog” is better

  37. 37
    jl says:

    Sometimes I feel bad making fun of Bachmann, since I believe she is sincere, and think she can actually think and still has good intentions remaining from when she was in touch with reality, but she has gone insane.

    But Perry, he is totally a 100 percent legitimate no regrets target.

    Well, except that I think he is dumber than all the rest of them put together, including Cain and Palin, so there is the issue of making fun of a possibly seriously handicapped person.

    But stll, Perry is like Bush, except minus all of GW Bush’s good qualities. Yikes, think about that for a moment.

  38. 38
    Mike Goetz says:

    On Perry, we can tip our hats to Bad Lip Reading and go with “Small Doghouse”.

  39. 39
    Under the Aurora Freeway says:

    @Southern Beale: Pretty fucked up, all around.

    Merits mentioning that this was a 15-year-old student, two years older than I initially feared. Not that it makes things much better.

  40. 40
    srv says:

    RP should be Man bites dog.

  41. 41
    Butch says:

    She’s a loon and a legislative back bencher with some seriously dangerous ideas, so why is it that some tiny corner of me is feeling bad for her right now?

  42. 42
    rlrr says:

    @Calouste:

    Any belief the USA is in decline started long before Obama…

  43. 43
    chopper says:

    what would huntsman be?

    i vote “dog chain puller”.

  44. 44
    Herbal Infusion Bagger says:

    Did Bachmann say she would not run for Congress again regardless of the outcome of her now-failed run for president? Is it possible we can be rid of her so easily?

    What others said, plus it’s likely she got a wingnut welfare or Faux news job offer last night.

    She’s more likeable than Palin, more articulate, more ideologically driven, crazier, and not an obvious grifter like Palin, so I’d think she’s gonna suck the oxygen out of Palin’s grifting.

    Or she’ll get HHS secretary under a Santorum presidency. Now there’s a scary thought.

  45. 45
    Rita R. says:

    For my money, Michele’s comment about manly, macho, decidedly-not-gay Marcus shopping for doggy sunglasses was the line of the night. But there was some competition:

    A willfully-blind-to-karma Newt whining about the negative ads Romney’s superPAC ran against him by saying they dishonored the troops.

    Crazy Ron Paul croacking out, “When’s the last time you saw a poll about the gold standard?” and fantasizing about policymakers declaring, “We’re all Austrians now!”

    Santorum comparing Obama to Mussolini, which actually was a nice change from all the Hitler comparisons. However, I may have nightmares about his grandfather’s big dead hand digging out freedom.

    Romney’s entire speech, however, was forgettable, except for its reinforcing just how bad a politician he really is.

  46. 46
    jibeaux says:

    And knock on wood, in November they’ll all be swept up in the inside-out newspaper baggie by Actually Has A Damn Dog.

  47. 47
    Yutsano says:

    I miffed on MINUTE losing a seat. However they do have to re-do the map. And that doth not favour Crazy Eyes.

  48. 48

    @jl:

    So because she sincerely believes that gays, Obama and census takers are all evil, she deserves a break?

    Spare me.

  49. 49
    Poopyman says:

    Heh! What Digby said.

  50. 50
    Nemesis says:

    Isnt Noot the “Divorcing the cancer-riddled, death bed, soon-to-be-ex-wife dog”? Am I doing it right?

  51. 51
    Rita R. says:

    @Butch:

    Didn’t see her quitting announcement today yet, but I felt a little sorry for her too last night — and then she started talking. Once she started in with Obama wilting before challenges to the nation and amped up her crazy apocalyptic “Obamacare” bs, I just thought, “F*ck her.”

  52. 52
    MikeJ says:

    @chopper: I have built a little house in my backyard for this comment so it will stay warm and dry through the winter.

  53. 53
    jl says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    No, I do not spare you.

    I did not say that I refrained from making fun of her, just that I felt kinda bad doing so sometimes.

    And I did not say anything about feeling bad about attacking her nonsense without adding in additional meanness, did I?

    Huh, did I?

    Anyway, she is out, and Perry is still in.

  54. 54
    martha says:

    @JGabriel: I must say…THANK YOU! I’ve already shared this far and wide to much laughter and “where did you hear THAT from, that’s GREAT”. Now I know exactly who on BJ to credit…

  55. 55

    @jl:

    Sorry. My response was harsh. I must not post after seven martinis.

    To be fair, I kind of agree with you but then, as another poster said above, she starts talking, and I realise that she’s a stark raving loon. Her sincerity scares me and almost makes me prefer the grifters. At least I know they wouldn’t burn me at the stake unless there was a decent profit in it.

  56. 56
    JGabriel says:

    @jibeaux:

    And knock on wood, in November they’ll all be swept up in the inside-out newspaper baggie by Actually Has A Damn Dog.

    I didn’t really think of Obama having a dog name since it was a GOP meme, but since I’m not gonna top that one, Actually Has A Damn Dog is it.

    .

  57. 57
    JPL says:

    Sarah, In case you missed this yesterday, this sounds like a feisty relative of yours..It’s about the original author of America The Beautiful and Mitt’s misuse of the song. link

  58. 58
    JPL says:

    @JGabriel: Some of us come for the laughs and thanks. It’s going to be a long election season so prepare yourself with more quips.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Jewish Steel says:

    Hey, hey!
    Ho, Ho!
    Rick Perry has got to go!
    Don’t split vote twixt the Romney-nos!

    (sorry, I know that’s not a great chant. consider it a first draft)

  61. 61
    WaterGirl says:

    @JGabriel: I would like to nominate you as MVP for last night.

    We also expect your contribution level to remain this high throughout the election season. :-)

  62. 62
    Butch says:

    @Rita R.: I didn’t see either announcement in part because I can’t stand her shrill voice; I was just thinking about the feeling of admitting to yourself that a goal you wanted badly is lost.

  63. 63
    joes527 says:

    Is she actually looking down at her notes for the names of her children?

  64. 64
    Calouste says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    I must not post after before seven martinis.

    I think you were mistaken there my old dear. Have another one just to make sure.

  65. 65
    Gex says:

    Late in the thread, but Newt can be the Old Dog That Can’t Learn New Tricks.

    ETA: I see that JGabriel covered Newt, but maybe this can be the first alternate.

  66. 66

    Huntsman still needs a dog meme.

  67. 67
    JGabriel says:

    @chopper:

    what would huntsman be?

    We’re waiting for Huntsman to to do something actually dog-related to mock. Have faith, it will happen. Bachmann, after all, didn’t give us the sunglasses line until just last night.

    In the meantime, I suppose Huntsman could be Not Dog On Car, since the only thing that differentiates him from Romney appears to be that he lacks Romney’s WTF quality — and also that Huntsman’s daughters are a lot more appealing and funnier than Romney’s sons.

    Or maybe Beefheart’s Dog, except the problem there being that it actually sounds kind of cool.

    .

  68. 68
    jl says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    I admit it is a fine line to walk. How do you deal with insane people (Bachmann) and morons (Perry) who are a danger to others but not themselves? But either they or their sponsors (and a dimbulb like Perry would sink into total oblivion if he did not have very powerful sponsors) are able to persuade others that they are not a danger, but an advantage?

    So, no hard feelings. The bright side is very bright along this line.

    We have Perry. We have Newt. We have Santorum. We have Mitt. All deserving targets with no reservations that can occur with the likes of Huntsman, Bachmann or Cain.

    So…. we can be as mean and vicious as we want, and do all we can to help them do all hey can to do as much damage as possible to the GOP.

  69. 69
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    One assumes that in the next few weeks or months Huntsman, Johnson, and Perry will all fade (regardless of any attempts they might make to rebrand themselves or even declare themselves Independents). I assume that in a head-to-head battle Gringrich would shred Santorum, leading finally to a Romney v. Gringrich battle for the nations of Middle Earth. I’ll put my minor wager on Romney eventually grabbing the nomination and — I hope — eventually losing to Obama.

    Now, might Obama take the environment and education more seriously in his second term? Count me among those who are disappointed on his efforts on those fronts thus far.

  70. 70
    jeffreyw says:

    That dog won’t huntsman guy.

  71. 71
    Jewish Steel says:

    So who is the Mormon representative at this summit of Romney-nots in Texas?

    hahahaha!

    I kid. I’m a kidder. You know me.

  72. 72
    Svensker says:

    @JGabriel:

    We’re waiting for Huntsman to to do something actually dog-related to mock.

    No dog in the Huntsman?

    ETA: And not only does jeffreyw cook better than I do, he’s quicker, dang him.

  73. 73
    chopper says:

    @JGabriel:

    Or maybe Beefheart’s Dog, except the problem there being that it actually sounds kind of cool.

    hence ‘dog chain puller’. sounds normal, but also a beefheart ref.

  74. 74
    Robert Sneddon says:

    Newt: Credit line at Petsmart.

  75. 75
  76. 76

    Oh the IRONY!!!! An angry Klansman deeded a S.C. KKK store and Klan museum to an African American Baptist church and a judge just upheld the transaction.

    God I love it.

  77. 77
    JPL says:

    @lamh35: Dobson thinks he knows how to train dogs. (from his book)

    When I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me. He deliberately braced himself by placing one paw on the edge of the furry lid, then hunched his shoulders, raised his lips to reveal the molars on both sides, and uttered his most threatening growl. That was Siggie’s way of saying. “Get lost!”………………………………
    “I had seen this defiant mood before, and knew there was only one way to deal with it. The ONLY way to make Siggie obey is to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else works. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me ‘reason’ with Mr. Freud.”

    Not sure how we talk about this one…

  78. 78
    Veritas says:

    Ok, what is this about “dog on car”?

  79. 79
    dedc79 says:

    Now Michele can return to her true love — hiding compact fluorescent light bulbs up Marcus’ asshole

  80. 80
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @The Other Chuck:

    Huntsman still needs a dog meme.

    “That dog won’t Huntsman”?

    (oops, already posted)

  81. 81
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @JGabriel:

    We’re waiting for Huntsman to to do something actually dog-related to mock. Have faith, it will happen.

    Given that he was ambassador in Beijing, can we find out whether he’s Dog On A Plate?

    ETA: And before you pile on, he’s made the joke himself:

    Huntsman is something of a renowned prankster, which helps take the edge off his good looks and high polish. “Asha, do you know they eat dogs like that in China? They put them in stew,” he says while pointing to his daughter’s pet spaniel, which shocks me but sends her into fits of laughter.

    So let’s assume he hasn’t knowingly partaken.

  82. 82
    JPL says:

    @Veritas: The previous president that Republicans ignore did mention that he liked the google… Try it

  83. 83
    Cassidy says:

    @Butch: Growing up, we are all taught that we can be anything, even the President of the United States, if we just want it hard enough. Our inner child cries when we see this to not be true, even if we loathe the person who failed.

  84. 84
    pragmatism says:

    @Veritas: these sorts of comments are too cute by half, dougj.

  85. 85
    jibeaux says:

    @JGabriel: Aw thanks. The dog names are fantastic, by the way, just love them.

  86. 86
    JGabriel says:

    @Veritas: Romney strapped his dog to the top of the car for family vacations. Romney+Dog+Car yields 20,500,000 results at Google, if you want sources.

    .

  87. 87
    Veritas says:

    @pragmatism:

    Whatever.

  88. 88
    JGabriel says:

    @pseudonymous in nc: Thank you, I knew an appropriate story would be found. Huntsman’s dog name is henceforth Dog Stew.

    .

  89. 89
    pragmatism says:

    @Veritas: aww dougj, that comment was too sad by half. you’re better than that(?)

  90. 90
    ruemara says:

    @JPL: I grew up on James Dobson. I wonder how I’m still sane. Not so much about vindictive.

  91. 91
    Cassidy says:

    I’m thinking minimalist for Newt: Dogshit.

  92. 92
    chopper says:

    @JGabriel:

    damn, thought i was a contender.

  93. 93
    WaterGirl says:

    @JGabriel: Can we get a vote on that one?

    Cause I think “that dog won’t huntsman” conveys the exact problem huntsman has, while “dog stew” kind of picks on him for something he didn’t do (eat dogs) and for being our ambassador to china, which he did in service of our president.

  94. 94
    handy says:

    @JGabriel:

    Have you read the Politifact article on this? Truly bizarre. And the “Mostly True” rating is just the beginning.

  95. 95
    chrome agnomen says:

    getting here late. “corn dog” is the name for perry.

  96. 96
    chrome agnomen says:

    getting here late. “corn dog” is the name for perry. and hence “horn dog” for der gnoot.

  97. 97
    Amir Khalid says:

    @ruemara:
    Something sticks in my mind about the name James Dobson. There was a supermarket chain here (yes, in Malaysia) that used to play on the PA, not music, but these 30-second spots recorded by “Dr James Dobson from Focus on the Family”. These spots were mostly full of rather old-fashioned parenting advice, delivered in a kindly tone, but on occasion there was also fogyish moralizing about young people nowadays.

    Is he that James Dobson?

  98. 98
    Ian says:

    @JPL:
    Is that Dobson’s section on children or animals?

  99. 99
    JPL says:

    @ruemara: When my sons were young, their pediatrician recommended his book which I read. I changed doctors.

  100. 100
    JPL says:

    @Ian: Why treat them differently?

  101. 101
    JGabriel says:

    @chopper: You were, but it was just a little too obscure. Even I didn’t get it at first, and I’m one of the small percentage who not only knows who Beefheart is, but has listened to his music, played it on the radio (as a college DJ), and likes Beefheart.

    WaterGirl:

    Can we get a vote on that one?

    Apparently it’s a meme now, so really, it’s out of my hands. It’s gonna get voted on by people using whatever they think is funny in every day mocking, so a vote is implied on no matter what.

    … “dog stew” kind of picks on him for something he didn’t do (eat dogs) and for being our ambassador to china, which he did in service of our president.

    I don’t think so. Dog Stew picks on Huntsman for making a lame dog stew joke*, in the same way that Man On Dog picks on Santorum for making a comparison between bestiality and homosexuality, while suggesting that Huntsman’s a mix, or stew, of GOP positions without being his own man.

    But that’s just me defending my own joke. I expect whatever makes people laugh is what will win.

    (*A joke Huntsman might well have made even with out his ambassadorial experience, since his Mormon missionary experience was also in China.)

    .

  102. 102
    trollhattan says:

    @pragmatism:

    “Laser on Coyote”; “That’s No Dog”; “All Hat, No Snausages”? Aw, I got nuttin’.

  103. 103
    JGabriel says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Is he that James Dobson?

    Yes, exactly.

    .

  104. 104
    jl says:

    I think ‘that dog don’t huntsman’ is perfect.

    For Perry, how about ‘Perrydoodle’?

    Edit: Because all the cocker and other miscellaneous dog doodles in the world, are smarter than Perry.

  105. 105
  106. 106
    trollhattan says:

    Anybody care for a round of “Guess what political party?” I’ll start with an easy one:

    “Assemblyman Tries To Bring [loaded] Gun On Plane To Sacramento”

    http://www.kcra.com/politics/3.....z1iWkFYm9U

  107. 107
    WaterGirl says:

    @JGabriel: Small d democracy in action!

  108. 108
    pragmatism says:

    from deadspin (Scocca)–the complete guide to which gop candidates are like which NFL QB’s:

    Mitt Romney is Joe Flacco.

    Rick Santorum is Alex Smith.

    Ron Paul is Andy Dalton.

    Rick Perry is Kevin Kolb.

    Newt Gingrich is Rex Grossman.

    Jon Huntsman is Ryan Fitzpatrick.

    Herman Cain is Mark Sanchez.

    Sarah Palin is Brett Favre

    from commenters: John McCain is Chad Pennington

  109. 109
    suzanne says:

    Last night just had me in nonstop hysterics. Thanks, JGabriel. :)

    LMMFAO.
    Sunglasses On Dog was totally mine.
    I still can’t believe she said that.

  110. 110
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    I’ll go with ‘That Dog Don’t Huntsman’ — if it were known that he’d dined on hound during his time in China, then a whole stew of names would be available, but lacking such evidence, we’ll go with the functional one — for as long as he sticks around, which is six days and counting.

  111. 111
    pragmatism says:

    also too from deadspin: nomar garciaparra tried to convince two astronauts that the moon landing was faked. why? he saw a show on fox and it was very convincing.

    http://deadspin.com/5873047/no.....red-sox-pr

  112. 112
    Splitting Image says:

    For Huntsman I’d go with “The Dog That Didn’t Bark”.

  113. 113
    Yevgraf says:

    Caribou Barbie shows us her Bircher thongstrap….

    http://www.newsmax.com/InsideC...../id/423028

    Sarah Palin said she wasn’t surprised at Rick Santorum’s success in Iowa, and warned that the GOP should not take Ron Paul’s supporters lightly.

    Her strongest comments came for Paul, however, saying “the GOP had better not marginalize Ron Paul and his supporters after this” because “a lot of Americans are war-weary and we are broke” and Paul has reached that constituency well. She warned that the GOP “better work with them.”

  114. 114
    01010101 says:

    Romney’s sons

    Think of the bodacious Osmond medley at the inauguration. Tho’ maybe, just maybe Huntsman gets Veep, and some Beefheart! With the Huntsman fillies doin’ some mormonic-Mansonite go- go moves.

  115. 115
    The Moar You Know says:

    Wholly OT: headline on Fox News just now:

    “Why Santorum Appeals to Women and Evangelicals”

    I’ve heard that, at least the evangelical part.

  116. 116
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    That’s the guy. He’s a jeebofascist asshole, like about everyone else mentioned in that piece. FSM doesn’t love us enough to bombard that meeting with meatballs from outer space.

  117. 117
    NeenerNeener says:

    Newt will always be “Tiffany Bling On A Dog” to me.

  118. 118
    Kremer says:

    After that story above, I do kinda like “Dog In Stew” for Huntsman

  119. 119
    Redshift says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “That Dog Don’t Hunt”?

    That was my first thought, before reading through all the others. I still like it best, perhaps shortened to a form like Man on Dog and Dog on Car:

    Dog Don’t Hunt

  120. 120
    pragmatism says:

    @trollhattan: lol. he’s from twin peaks, indeed.

  121. 121
    Chris says:

    @lamh35:

    James Dobson and all the rest did the same thing early on in the 2008 election cycle, when they all met at some hotel out west and discussed breaking from the GOP and running a third-party candidate, in the even that Giuliani won the party nomination.

    Made me sorry he didn’t.

  122. 122
    Maude says:

    OT Obama has filled 3 positions on the National Labor Board. Screeching is going on.

  123. 123
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Maude:

    Good. There screeches bring me joy.

  124. 124
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    Scott Brown’s on board with the Cordray recess appointment; potentially having to face Warren (the original frontrunner for the CFPB job) is going to have him establishing a small ocean’s distance from the GOP Senate leadership.

    Willard is horrified, of course, because he’s a robber baron shitbucket.

  125. 125
    JPL says:

    @Maude: Sen. Brown came out and semi-supported Obama’s appt of Cordray. He said he understood it. Warren has him scared.

  126. 126
    jl says:

    @Maude: I think decision has been made by Obama to start running hard against Congress. Worked for Truman in 48, when he was in electoral trouble.

  127. 127
    GregB says:

    I think Rabid Dog is appropriate for Newt.

    I should also be noted that the blog Joe My God refers to Marcus Bachmann as Ladybird.

  128. 128
    JGabriel says:

    @pseudonymous in nc: @Splitting Image: @Redshift: , and Sundry Others:

    Well, I’m staying with Dog Stew, and all’s y’all can kiss my pasty white ass.

    Put it in context, people. Which of these two potential NH Primary descriptions is funnier?

    A) In a closer race than expectecd, Dog On Car just barely leads That Dog Is Not The Federal Government’s Responsibility, while, in third place, That Dog Don’t Hunt siphons away Dog On Car’s support.

    B) In a closer race than expectecd, Dog On Car just barely leads That Dog Is Not The Federal Government’s Responsibility, while, in third place, Dog Stew siphons away Dog On Car’s support.

    Dog Stew is just meaner and glutinous, it makes you think “Ew”, and it’s therefore funnier, in my humble opinion. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ with it.

    .

  129. 129
    Anne Laurie says:

    @pragmatism:

    since perry is back in, he needs a dog handle. doggerhead? there has to be something better.

    Jogs with Dog.

    And for Gingrich, Tail-Chasing Dog, because “petticoat hound” as a term of opprobrium was antique even when Presley bought that song from Mama Thorton. Also too, one of the Swollen Amphibian’s myriad electoral problems is that he can’t stop himself from tripping over his own ego.

  130. 130
    slightly-peeved says:

    Awesome work, JGabriel.

    my suggestions:
    Herman Cain: Dog on Leg
    Buddy Roemer: Lost Dog
    Barack Obama: Top Dog, or just Bo.

  131. 131
    Violet says:

    @Anne Laurie:
    I love Tail-Chasing Dog for Newt! Inspired!

  132. 132
    Lojasmo says:

    @Yutsano:

    Minnesota is not losing any seats. We were close, but barely cleared.

    Our maps are not yet drawn. Blessed governor Dayton vetoed some nasty gerrymander.

  133. 133
    WaterGirl says:

    @The Moar You Know: Oh, yeah. All the women I know are gonna love that he thinks states should get to outlaw birth control!

  134. 134
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @Lojasmo: But from what I was reading, the MN-6 is going to have to be radically changed, given the population shifts over the past decade. There’s no more gerry to mander in that stretch from the Wisconsin line through the exurbs to St Cloud.

  135. 135
    Lojasmo says:

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    Yup, it’s not BETTER in the sixth, but it’s not much worse. At any rate, we lost no seats.

  136. 136
    A Ghost To Most says:

    I prefer to think of Newt as “The Dog Whistler”

  137. 137
    AA+ Bonds says:

    @slightly-peeved:

    Herman Cain: Dog on Leg

    PRETTY OFFENSIVE

  138. 138
    Princess says:

    @JGabriel: And his actual dog’s name spells his initials. BO. I just realized that… (I can be dense) but kind of cool, I think.

  139. 139
    Whatsleft says:

    I see Huntsman as Dog Chasing Klown Kar FWIW

  140. 140
    Princess says:

    I think Perry has to be Dog Clone:

  141. 141
    AxelFoley says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    JGabriel, who has already piped up and rightly claimed credit for a very good meme.
    __
    Dog on Car
    Man on Dog
    The Federal Government has no business with that Dog
    Sunglasses on Dog
    __
    I don’t think he bothered with Noot.

    Haven’t read the rest of the thread yet, but please tell me no one already used “You’re the Man now, Dog!”

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