Indoctrinating kids

Eric Bolling, a male FOX news reader best known for playing himself in the film Idiocracy, has an odd habit of yelling at muppets. You have to give Bolling some credit – with all the times a scrappy band of misfits saves the rec center with a spunky musical number, nobody ever gives much thought to Snidely Whiplash or the wrecking ball guy. And he has a point. If FOX Business News does not stick up for Snidely Whiplash then nobody will*. (**)

Anyhow. About indoctrination.

(*) How is that working out for them? Since 2008 FBN has had explosive growth from a blip too small for Nielsen to measure to a a viewership small and elderly enough to be largely explained by home care patients unaware that they picked the wrong channel.


(**) CORRECTION! Pretty much everyone in the media stands up for Snidely Whiplash. To see someone do it shouty and stupid, Cramer’s your man. The only niche to the right of CNBC is programming so stupid that it makes even a medium-functioning business professional want to hit himself in the head with a rock.

39 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Bolling is the kind of guy who wants to hang Ebenezer Scrooge for his gross betrayal of the 1%.

    As for the indoctrinating kids part, well, it’s always, always, ALWAYS projection with these people. Afraid gays are going to “recruit” your kids? It’s because that’s how you win new drones for Jeebus.

    Pure projection.

  2. 2
    middlewest says:

    It’s funny that republicans complain about things like the muppets or Spongebob Squarepants, but none of them have figured out that Scooby Doo is propaganda for Secular Humanism.

  3. 3
    BGK says:

    Does Fox Business have any actual business content? Several of the geezer regulars at the gym I use watch it, presumably because the fact- and analysis-based programs CNBC has on in the same timeslots promote teh socia1isms. (The “Genie Bra” long-form commercials it shows on weekends promote I’m not sure what.) I only ever see that ghoul Imus and various “regular” Fox News retreads and rejects. Are there not News Corp shareholders who object to the massive shirt loss this vanity project of Horrible Rupert’s creates?

  4. 4
    The Moar You Know says:

    Never get tired of that video, it never fails to remind me that the hardcore Jesus freaks are, to the last man, total and complete hypocrites who don’t understand, literally, the first thing about their religion.

    The Second Commandment is pretty fucking clear:

    Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

    Shorter 2nd Commandment: You don’t worship a cardboard cutout of the President, idiot.

  5. 5
    MarkJ says:

    Yes, the modern Republican reads Dickens and sees pre-reformed Ebenezer Scrooge as a hero. Likewise, Mr. Potter is the real hero of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

  6. 6
    GregB says:

    Fox News, they distort, we deride.

  7. 7
    Amir Khalid says:

    I might not have much of a right to criticize Fox — my own beautiful Malaysia was one of those Muslim countries where the teevee censored Miss Piggy completely out of The Muppet Show, even though the puppet was not made of pork or pigskin or anything like that, and neither is Frank Oz. (They did the same to Porky Pig.)

    But still, I think that this reflects a perception among the American right that Hollywood and the entertainment industry — its creative side, anyway — is in the hands of the DFHs. So the Muppets get the same suspicion and hostility they show towards anything with the DFH taint on it.

  8. 8
    Suffern ACE says:

    I had other objections. Either the frog and the pig were married, in which case the movie celbrates divorce, or they were never married and just living with each other, which is just as bad. The movie isn’t clear on that matter. But I want answers.

    Family movie indeed.

  9. 9
    The Moar You Know says:

    @Suffern ACE: The frog and the pig as a couple are a sick librul metaphor designed to promote race-mixing to the pure white youth of America! Take a stand against miscegenation and say “not here! Not in my fine town! Not my children!”, draw the line and don’t allow this poisonous liberal indoctrination into your homes.

    /wingnut (virtually a word for word transcription from one of the crazier wingnuts I’ve ever talked to)

  10. 10
  11. 11
  12. 12
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    To see someone do it shouty and stupid, Kramer’s your man.

    I think you meant Jim Cramer.

  13. 13
    Brachiator says:

    @The Moar You Know:

    The Second Commandment is pretty fucking clear.

    Hmmm. There’s always room for interpretation. For example, a recent scholarly work notes the following:

    These Ten Commandments, however, have not been referred to as such in Jewish sources. Rather, they are the Ten Words, ‘aseret haddevarim (Exod 34:28) or ‘aseret haddibberot, which God spoke to Israel at Mount Sinai. According to some commentators, these ten words or Decalogue include the substance of all remaining 603 commandments.

    There are two versions of the Decalogue in the Bible, and the deeply religious fall all over themselves to explain the differences in emphasis, or why the first two speak of God in the first person, while the remainder do so in the third person.

    I also like Everett Fox’s translation of the Hebrew text, which conveys more of a sense of how the Second Commandment appears to be talking about the prohibition of images of other gods from temples and shrines, as well as the obvious general prohibitions of idolatry.

    “You are not to have
    any other gods
    before my presence.
    (4) You are not to make yourself a carved-image
    or any figure
    that is in the heavens above, that is on the earth beneath, that is in the waters
    beneath the Earth;
    (5) you are not to bow down to them,
    you are not to serve them,
    for I, YHWH your God,
    am a jealous God,
    calling-to-account the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons, to the third and fourth
    of those that hate me,
    (6) but showing loyalty to the thousandth
    of those that love me,
    of those that keep my commandments

    Of course, hard core Christians may have some ‘splaining to do to justify having a pagan Christmas tree next to the Baby Jebus.

  14. 14
    Samara Morgan says:

    Just a PSA for Kay and the juicers– Colorado hatez teh mormons.

  15. 15
    Drive-by Nomad says:

    “America was certainly safe between 2000 and 2008. I don’t remember any attacks on American soil during that period of time.”

    Eric Bolling, FOX News, July 13, 2011

  16. 16
    Culture of Truth says:

    Frogs are French, right?

  17. 17
    Frankensteinbeck says:

    Amir Khalid:
    It’s just another flailing attempt to maintain panic and victimhood. ‘Think of the children’ is an argument of enormous power in a country desperate to pretend it’s not abusive parents that fuck up kids. Like, psychosis level power. It’s one of our culture’s biggest and least rational buttons.

  18. 18
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    … a viewership small and elderly enough to be largely explained by home care patients unaware that they picked the wrong channel.

    Ah yes… the all-important ‘creamed corn & spittle’ demographic…

  19. 19
    gbear says:

    @Culture of Truth: They’re Bi. They can live on land OR in water.

  20. 20

    frog and pig: pro-miscegenation propaganda

  21. 21
    kansi says:

    I had forgotten what a truly horrifying movie Jesuscamp was. Thanks for the shudders.

  22. 22
    Benjamin Franklin says:

    Does anyone know why a comment, suddenly must be moderated, out of the blue?

  23. 23
    scav says:

    @Brachiator: Errk, forget the 99%, is YHWH serious about this part?

    but showing loyalty to the thousandth
    of those that love me,
    of those that keep my commandments

    because the 999 of those that showed loyalty but aren’t getting his love in return are, well, actually rather well represented in certain parts of the OT. I suppose we could hope that YHWH has a lisp. . .

  24. 24
    Satanicpanic says:

    Let’s do some warfare over him… Wakara maka tabasheee komoko kabara haiya!
    Why does god want people to speak in phony Arabic?

  25. 25
    Satanicpanic says:

    @kansi: I made the mistake of watching it by myself once. It was a saturday night and I had a few drinks. My wife came into the living room and found me hiding behind the couch biting my nails.

  26. 26
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Samara Morgan:
    The story at that link does not mention, even once, that Romney is a Mormon. Nor does it attribute Romney falling behind Newt Gingrich in North Carolina and Colorado to his being Mormon. If this were true, how come Romney the Mormon was ahead in the first place? You’ve got to be careful not to jump to conclusions.

  27. 27
    MomSense says:

    Interestingly, the Commandments that the Israelites actually covenanted with God are not the ones that we commonly cite and refer to as the Ten Commandments. Remember, Moses was so appalled by the golden calf that he smashed the first set.

    So these are the ten commandments from Exodus 34.

    Exodus 34
    New International Version (NIV)
    Exodus 34

    The New Stone Tablets

    1 The LORD said to Moses, “Chisel out two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. 2 Be ready in the morning, and then come up on Mount Sinai. Present yourself to me there on top of the mountain. 3 No one is to come with you or be seen anywhere on the mountain; not even the flocks and herds may graze in front of the mountain.”
    4 So Moses chiseled out two stone tablets like the first ones and went up Mount Sinai early in the morning, as the LORD had commanded him; and he carried the two stone tablets in his hands. 5 Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. 6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”

    8 Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped. 9 “Lord,” he said, “if I have found favor in your eyes, then let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, forgive our wickedness and our sin, and take us as your inheritance.”

    10 Then the LORD said: “I am making a covenant with you. Before all your people I will do wonders never before done in any nation in all the world. The people you live among will see how awesome is the work that I, the LORD, will do for you. 11 Obey what I command you today. I will drive out before you the Amorites, Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. 12 Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land where you are going, or they will be a snare among you. 13 Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and cut down their Asherah poles.[a] 14 Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

    15 “Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. 16 And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.

    17 “Do not make any idols.

    18 “Celebrate the Festival of Unleavened Bread. For seven days eat bread made without yeast, as I commanded you. Do this at the appointed time in the month of Aviv, for in that month you came out of Egypt.

    19 “The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. 20 Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons.

    “No one is to appear before me empty-handed.

    21 “Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest.

    22 “Celebrate the Festival of Weeks with the firstfruits of the wheat harvest, and the Festival of Ingathering at the turn of the year.[b] 23 Three times a year all your men are to appear before the Sovereign LORD, the God of Israel. 24 I will drive out nations before you and enlarge your territory, and no one will covet your land when you go up three times each year to appear before the LORD your God.

    25 “Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast, and do not let any of the sacrifice from the Passover Festival remain until morning.

    26 “Bring the best of the firstfruits of your soil to the house of the LORD your God.

    “Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.”

    27 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write down these words, for in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel.” 28 Moses was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.

    The Radiant Face of Moses

    29 When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. 30 When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him. 31 But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them. 32 Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the LORD had given him on Mount Sinai.
    33 When Moses finished speaking to them, he put a veil over his face. 34 But whenever he entered the LORD’s presence to speak with him, he removed the veil until he came out. And when he came out and told the Israelites what he had been commanded, 35 they saw that his face was radiant. Then Moses would put the veil back over his face until he went in to speak with the LORD.

    Exodus 34:13 That is, wooden symbols of the goddess Asherah
    Exodus 34:22 That is, in the autumn


    New International Version (NIV)

  28. 28
    elmo says:

    She really said that, didn’t she? “Let’s do some warfare.” Holy crap.

    I coulda sworn they said their god was the Prince of Peace. Coulda sworn it.

  29. 29
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Benjamin Franklin:

    You probably used a forbidden word without realizing it. Those things you wear on your feet that have laces? Forbidden word, for some reason.

  30. 30
    carpeduum says:

    @Suffern ACE: The whole Kermit-Piggy relationship is a metaphor for interracial marriage. So, connecting the same dots idiots would, it resulted in a mixed race president.

  31. 31
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Satanicpanic: So that “Waka, Waka” part of Fozzie Bear’s stage persona is actually part of a curse?

  32. 32
    Satanicpanic says:

    @Suffern ACE: I think you’re onto something. Someone corrupted Fozzie Bear. Probably Rowlf.

  33. 33
    Culture of Truth says:

    The Lord stored his information in the cloud. Must have been an android man.

  34. 34
    Culture of Truth says:

    “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.”

    Never a promising buildup.

  35. 35
    J says:

    @MarkJ: MarkJ, evidence for your point from 1987, Republicans who think Jay Gatsby is the hero of the F. Scott Fitzgerald novel praise Reagan by comparing him to Gatsby.

    If memory serves, this Anthony Lewis piece actually elicited a response arguing that Gatsby really was a hero.

  36. 36
    quickly says:

    “largely explained by home care patients unaware that they picked the wrong channel”


  37. 37
    AlanDean says:

    That Jesus Camp scene is one of the scariest and most disgusting/repulsive bits of indoctrination I have ever heard. It still gives me chills. And yes, I did hear “warfare” and then talks in Hebrew or tongues? Bush surrounded himself with spiritual people? WTF? The only spirits they came close to came from a bottle.

  38. 38
    chuckieboy says:

    Without fear, greed and racism the rethugs are an empty shell. Does anyone have a word for hypocrite that is ten kazillion times more insulting? Anyhow the assholes at Fix should clean their own house before crying about others in the media. Fix broadcasts the Simpsons, where Mr. Burns is consistently portrayed as a greedy, uncarring asshole. OOPS the Simpsons make a ton of money for Fix. Besides the writers would tell Fix to mind their own fucking business.

  39. 39
    the gal on the phone says:

    Funny–all it made me want is to hear Beaker sing the Internationale.

    “Mee mee mee MEE mee mee mee mee/Mee MEE mee mee mee mee mee mee….”

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