Hair Shirt And Flogger Not Included

Rick Santorum has figured out the key to solving America’s problems here in the depths of the worst economic quagmire in generations:  Get used to the suffering, it’s good for you.

During a town hall meeting in Ottumwa, Iowa Friday afternoon, Rick Santorum argued that Americans receive too many government benefits and ought to “suffer” in the Christian tradition. If “you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,” Santorum complained, before adding, “suffering is part of life and it’s not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life.”

Such is the lot of the peasant in the Kingdom Of Froth And Lube.  If the invisible sky dude wanted you to be rich, you’d have money.  Since you’re not, please take comfort in the fact that you’re meant to hurt.  It’ll build character.  Please pay no attention to the people raiding the treasury and saying we need to make more peasants suffer, I’m sure they have an excellent reason for not going through any of the standard character-building suffering exercises along with you.

Now do get back to work.






102 replies
  1. 1
    Mack Lyons says:

    I bet this man has not gone for naught at any moment of his life.

  2. 2
    The Dangerman says:

    This guy is a dick and an asshole.

  3. 3
    Baud says:

    In the spirit of traditional Christian suffering, I suggest we throw Santorum into a den of hungry lions.

  4. 4
    handy says:

    Well, Rick, as a life lesson you find on a motivational poster or calendar, I think that’s fine. As a matter of public policy, not so much.

  5. 5
    Cat Lady says:

    The way the gooper wave is cresting, the frothy mix will be the next teatard darling after Newt crashes and burns, and just in time for the Calvinist Iowa caucuses. Santorum/Zombie Torquemada 2012!

  6. 6
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @The Dangerman: a slander against both dicks and assholes, which serve useful functions.

  7. 7
    YoohooCthulhu says:

    I love the professorial tone of it, like he’s speaking of a totally theoretical circumstance that he has zero experience with. I wonder what his idea of suffering is–the embarrassment heaped on him for his name being used for sexual refuse?

  8. 8
    Hobelhouse says:

    @Cat Lady:

    Nah, that would be Zombie John Calvin. Or maybe Zombie Zwingli.

  9. 9
    Comrade Mary says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Let’s just agree that Santorum is often seen in the company of dicks and assholes.

  10. 10
    Jenny says:

    “Suffering”?

    I always knew he derived sexual gratification by being whipped and humiliated. It was written all over his face.

  11. 11
    gnomedad says:

    If a Democrat said something like this, it would be the malaise speech squared.

  12. 12
    JCT says:

    Hey Rick, keep this up and maybe some of these suffering folks can find a nice guillotine for you.

  13. 13
    RSA says:

    Fuck the lilies of the field! Where’s the toiling and the spinning? Mow ’em down.

    And the fowls of the air? They’ve been getting a free ride for way too long–they sow not, they reap not… Where’s my shotgun?

  14. 14
    Chet says:

    In the Great Chain of Being, Santorum’s the Missing Link.

  15. 15
    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik says:

    Fuck your Economic Predestination bullshit, frothy.

  16. 16
    David Koch says:

    Speaking of loony toons.

    Today, Hermain Cain said the Taliban have crossed the Suez Canal and have taken over Libya. (no really).

    Not to be outdone, Bachmann literally claimed 7 foot doctors and the IRS have nationalized the insurance industry (she wasn’t joking).

  17. 17
    Mark S. says:

    It’s rhetorical but,

    Why the fuck does anyone vote for these assholes?

  18. 18
    The Dangerman says:

    @JCT:

    …maybe some of these suffering folks can find a nice guillotine for you.

    A guillotine would minimize his suffering; clearly, it would be better for him to suffer naked on a hill of fire ants.

    He should thank us for the lesson.

  19. 19
    vernonlee says:

    Suffering is for the little people:

    U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum should reimburse $100,000 to the Penn Hills School District for taxpayer money used since 2001 to cover online charter school tuition for his children, four school board members said Thursday.
    The senator will not respond until the board makes a formal request, said Santorum’s deputy chief of staff, Robert Traynham.
    “He has done nothing wrong,” Traynham said. “The Penn Hills School District for the last four years has paid for (Santorum’s) children to attend the charter school and have seen nothing out of the ordinary. They have basically said, ‘This is OK.’ ”
    Questions over his residency prompted Santorum to announce Wednesday that he is withdrawing his five school-age children from Pennsylvania Cyber Charter School in Midland, Beaver County. The No. 3 Republican in the Senate, Santorum owns a $106,000 home next door to his wife Karen’s parents in Penn Hills, but he and his family split time between there and a $757,000 house in Virginia. Santorum’s annual Senate salary is $157,000.
    “He’s admitted he’s not a resident. I’m going to put up a motion for him to pay back the entire amount,” said Penn Hills School Board member Erin Vecchio, chairwoman of the local Democratic Committee.

    http://www.pittsburghlive.com/.....z1e7Mokg4H

  20. 20
    JGabriel says:

    If “you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,” Santorum complained, before adding, “suffering is part of life and it’s not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life.”

    As a former altar boy (never molested!), I have only one thing to say in response to Santorum’s reasoning:

    So. Fucking. Catholic. In the bad way.

    .

  21. 21
    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik says:

    @Mark S.:

    Because there are a lot of people who like being assholes vicariously, or have simply developed a weird sort of Stockholm’s Syndrome where assholishness is perceived as power.

  22. 22
    Speedy says:

    @Mark S.:

    Why the fuck does anyone vote for these assholes?

    Because 30+ years of conservative policies have turned many Americans into pig ignorant drooling fucktards.

  23. 23
    PurpleGirl says:

    @JGabriel: Oh, Goddess, yes.

  24. 24
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Suffering is fucking essential? Keerist.

  25. 25
    JGabriel says:

    Speaking of Rick Santorum, Army Capt. Stephen Hill responds to Santorum’s response to Hill’s televised debate question in a just published interview with AP:

    Army Capt. Stephen Hill says he wasn’t trying to score political points when he asked the Republican presidential candidates if they would reinstate the ban on gays serving openly in the U.S. military.
    __
    He wasn’t worried that his debate question, posed via a YouTube video recorded in Iraq, would generate boos or reveal his sexual orientation to millions of people, including his superiors and fellow troops.
    __
    All Hill was thinking about in September was his husband of four-and-a-half months, Joshua Snyder, in Columbus, Ohio.
    __
    Now that “don’t ask, don’t tell” has been lifted, he needed to know if the military would take the next step and recognize his marriage, or if a new president would try to force soldiers like him back into the closet.
    __
    […]
    __
    With Snyder on the telephone, Hill watched the debate live from Iraq at 4 a.m. And this is what he asked: “In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq, I had to lie about who I was because I’m a gay soldier and I didn’t want to lose my job. My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that’s been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?”
    __
    Santorum replied that he would reinstitute the ban on open service by gay troops because “any type of sexual activity has absolutely no place in the military.”
    __
    “What we are doing is playing social experimentation with our military right now. That’s tragic,” he continued. “Leave it alone. Keep it to yourself whether you are heterosexual or homosexual.”
    __
    […]
    __
    What Hill remembers most was that a presidential candidate defined his marriage and military service in terms of sex.
    __
    […]
    __
    “This is not about sex,” Hill said. “A special privilege is not hiding pictures in my house or God forbid, taking mortar fire again and not knowing if Josh will be recognized. I’m fighting every day to protect everyone’s rights as human beings, and it seems counterintuitive for me to be fighting for those rights and not have them.”

    That is a brave man.

    .

  26. 26
    mamayaga says:

    Why the fuck does anyone vote for these assholes?

    He’s not talking about Republicans suffering, silly. When he says, “If you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,” that’s Dogwhistle for the Blacks and the Messicans. His supporters are all too glad to see them suffer. But only in the spirit of Christian benevolence to build their characters, of course.

  27. 27
    JGabriel says:

    Forgot to include a link to Hill’s AP interview in the comment above.

    Read the whole thing. It’s not long, and it’s worth it.

    .

  28. 28
    scav says:

    But then isn’t it Class Warfare to be lowering the taxes on the rich and thus depriving them of the blessings of suffering? Is he really in favor of depriving them of one of the essential things in life?

  29. 29
    Gex says:

    @vernonlee: His wife also received a malpractice suit settlement that exceeds the cap he proposed for malpractice suits.

  30. 30
    Scott says:

    I don’t even think we need him undergoing physical suffering. Little Ricky Frothy-Mix’s constant air of aggrieved, fuckstrated, impotent fury as people ignore him and laugh at him brings me more joy than strapping him to an anthill or a trebuchet. It’s just so wonderful to watch him lose and get laughed at over and over and over and over…

  31. 31
    rikyrah says:

    an asshole all the way

  32. 32
    The Dangerman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Suffering is fucking essential?

    Of course it’s essential, unless such suffering is a moderate increase to marginal tax rates, in which case, its fucking un-American.

  33. 33
    some guy says:

    Hyper-Calvinism: It’s What’s For Dinner!

    frothy

  34. 34
    some guy says:

    Iowa State, about to destroy Okie State’s chances of a national title.

    this is a great game.

  35. 35
    JGabriel says:

    scav:

    But then isn’t it Class Warfare to be lowering the taxes on the rich and thus depriving them of the blessings of suffering? Is he really in favor of depriving them of one of the essential things in life?

    The rich suffer untold pains and deprivations every time they have to have to pay an IRS bill or fire a worker and move her job to China!

    Shame on you! Fie, for pretending rich Republicans aren’t suffering. They are martyrs whose weltschmerz no money can assuage!

    .

  36. 36

    @The Dangerman:

    This guy is a dick and an asshole.

    Ironically, he wants to make himself illegal.

  37. 37
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @The Dangerman: My ancestors were Calvinist 300-450 years ago. We came to Mass. to do that kind of thing. But here is the rub, we fucking grew out of it.

  38. 38
    madmommy says:

    @vernonlee:
    I know this is a stupid question, but how in the hell does a guy making 157K a year afford not one but two homes, one of which is valued at nearly 3/4 of a million dollars?

  39. 39
    Chris says:

    @Mark S.:

    Because the world’s full of people who will happily shoot themselves in the foot (then the legs, then the kneecaps, then the balls) in the hopes that the bullet will pass through the floor and hit the filthy furriners, darkies and other undesirables living on the next floor down.

  40. 40
    sfinny says:

    Well, Santorum has that whole google suffering thing going on. Can’t even imagine the confessional conversations about that.

  41. 41
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    There are some people who scream from the rafters for the tumbrel ride they deserve.

    Rick Santorum is one of those people.

  42. 42
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    The problem is that Ricky won’t ever spend time debating an actual person who’s read those words and calls him on his calvinist bullshit.

  43. 43
    some guy says:

    at least the GOP primary has provided all of us with an endless stream of humor.

    sociopathic humor, but humor nontheless

  44. 44
    suzanne says:

    suffering is part of life and it’s not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life.

    No, fuckface, suffering SUCKS, which is why it’s called “suffering” and not “margaritas”.

    What do you bet Mr. Frothy made his wife go through labor without pain relief to pay for original sin?

  45. 45
    Anoniminous says:

    Lily Allen, the British singer/songwriter, has a tune for Senator Santorum.

    (Very much NSFW)

  46. 46
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne:

    What do you bet Mr. Frothy made his wife go through labor without pain relief to pay for original sin?

    She wanted to. It was the best way to punish herself for having sex with Rick.

    ETA: @Anoniminous: How did I guess.

  47. 47
    Tehanu says:

    If “you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,”

    Yeah — until the fucking Republicans and their Blue Dog buddies trash Medicaid and the food stamp and housing assistance programs. Which according to them can’t happen soon enough.

    Wanna experience suffering, Rick? I have some very imaginative ideas about how you can … and should … preferably for all eternity.

  48. 48
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Tehanu: Run the boy through Dante’s Inferno, verse by verse.

  49. 49
    some guy says:

    tie game.

    making kids go hungry at night. for the GOP this is not a problem, this is an ethos.

  50. 50
    Anoniminous says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Because you are a civilized human being?

    :-)

  51. 51
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @gocart mozart:

    He wants to ban the enjoyment of Reese’s Pieces.

    Hey! You got dick in my asshole!

    Well, you got asshole on my dick!

  52. 52
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Anoniminous: That song is so perfect. Vicious and pretty.

  53. 53
    The Dangerman says:

    @some guy:

    tie game

    OSU’s bend but don’t break D is … suboptimal right now after a decent punt return.

    Edit: And, a few seconds later, my fears of an LSU repeat with Alabama are allayed for a moment.

  54. 54
    some guy says:

    LSU-Bama is still real.
    SEC real. go Iowa State.

  55. 55
    Anoniminous says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    And it’s direct hit, on target.

    Republicans do “have a hole where their soul should be” and, after 40 years of trying, I’m convinced they have no intention of being anything else but selfish, sociopathic, bastards.

    (And it’s time to go fill up my wine glass, again.)

  56. 56
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Anoniminous:

    after 40 years of trying, I’m convinced they have no intention of being anything else but selfish, sociopathic, bastards.

    Sometimes they just are dickheads. Not a defense of them by any means. (And the 80s music thread got me to +4.)

  57. 57
    suzanne says:

    Want to see my cute puppeh? Of course you do.

  58. 58
    The Dangerman says:

    @some guy:

    LSU-Bama is still real.

    Sadly true.

    Doesn’t Bama have a problem in that LSU would win the SEC Title game (and Bama wouldn’t even play?).

  59. 59
    joeyess says:

    such words of wisdom from a fuckstick that has never in his professional life worked outside of the very government that he so despises.

  60. 60
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: We saw this one already. More different pics now. Or I will talk like toko.

  61. 61
    joeyess says:

    @JGabriel:

    So. Fucking. Catholic. In the bad way.

    Is there a good way?

  62. 62
    some guy says:

    wow. 2 overtime win by a team that has never beat a 2nd ranked team. ever.

    Bowl Eligible! cool

  63. 63
    Sloegin says:

    Classic ‘Opiate of the Masses’ 101.

    Rich bastards gin up the sky-fairy story and the whole ‘life is suffering and pain’, but be good and don’t get uppity around your betters and you’ll get your happy-sky reward when you die.

    Trouble is, some of these rich bastards are true believers as well. Con artists failing to understand the con.

  64. 64
    JGabriel says:

    @joeyess:

    @JGabriel:

    So. Fucking. Catholic. In the bad way.

    Is there a good way?

    White shirt, plaid skirt, no make-up but a slash of red lipstick, and older than 27.

    .

  65. 65
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @JGabriel: Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  66. 66
    some guy says:

    @The Dangerman:

    Doesn’t Bama have a problem in that LSU would win the SEC Title game (and Bama wouldn’t even play?).

    exactly. cf. South East Conference, western division.
    where football is more important and schismatic than Calvin. or Zwingilli.

  67. 67
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @JGabriel:

    What Omnes Omnibus said at #64.

  68. 68
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Blind squirrel.

  69. 69
    suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Or I will talk like toko.

    No. I already have trouble dealing with the FourLoko we have already. I have a limited tolerance for morons.

  70. 70
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: Doggie pics then. I made a threat. I must follow through. Just make easier on everyone and post the pics.

  71. 71
    jl says:

    Humble suffering and submission to God’s obvious will (if God wanted things different, they would be, you silly), is the US tradition, all the way back to our Founders.

    Ask David Brooks.

    Except when the US tradition is rugged individualism, total self reliance, and aggressive energetic efforts to improve our lot.

    Depends on what line works best at the moment for swindling suckers.

  72. 72
    suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I will put it like this: if FourLoko was any stupider, we’d need to divest ourselves of any sharp objects in order to talk to her and she’d be elected to public office in Arizona.

  73. 73
    Mike G says:

    Sanatorium — another nasty, grubby little authoritarian who fantasizes about making others suffer.

  74. 74
    JGabriel says:

    @Omnes Omnibus, @Villago Delenda Est: I can’t believe it took an hour and 27 minutes before someone fed me the setup line. I thought for sure it would be less than 15 minutes. Guess everyone was watching their downloaded torrents of tonight’s Chuck, Fringe, or Grimm.

    .

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: I understand that, but WAI. Seriously though, she can occasionally have a glimmer of insight. It is one of the reasons I put up with the egotism, cruelty, and general dipshittery. Her signal to noise ratio is very, very bad, but sometimes she hits on something valuable. For example, she was talking about OWS two weeks before it hit the big time. Oh, I admit I am going to go slam my fingers in a door for saying this, but there you have it. Also too, she is a everything you have described in the past and an asshole to boot, but still….

  77. 77
    Ken_L says:

    It’s the old Margaret Thatcher life wasn’t meant to be easy bullshit. Dignity of labour and all that crap.

  78. 78
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: Thank you. Toko threat receding….

  79. 79
    suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Seriously though, she can occasionally have a glimmer of insight.

    Stopped clocks, etc.

    I have no tolerance for pretentious trust-fund revolutionaries, no matter what party they come from. She used to have a sense of humor about herself, but now she just takes herself so fucking seriously and has so little of worth to contribute that I half-expect her to get an opinion column at the New York Times. Except it would just say “wallah” under her picture where her byline should be.

  80. 80
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: Oh, I know my toko tolerance is higher than most. I just choose to hear her word in Moon Zappa’s voice; it helps.

  81. 81
    suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s funny. I hear her in Nancy Grace’s voice. Not sure why.

  82. 82
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @JGabriel: To be fair, some of thought the answer was obvious.

  83. 83
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @suzanne: Okay, I don’t know why, but I find that really funny.

  84. 84
    suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: ‘Cause they’re probably the same person.

  85. 85
    Jebediah says:

    @suzanne:
    Wicked cute! thanks

  86. 86
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @suzanne: Awww. What a sweetie. Thanks.

  87. 87
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @some guy: As a Hawkeye fan, never thought I’d say this about ISU …. but: Woot!Woot!Woot!

  88. 88
    suzanne says:

    Awww, thanks. :) Isn’t she a cutie? I’m feeling kind of under the weather, and she let me lay my head on her for a good 45 minutes. Love her.

  89. 89
    Yutsano says:

    @suzanne: PUPPEH!!

  90. 90
    suzanne says:

    @Yutsano: Damn skippy.

  91. 91
    Yutsano says:

    @suzanne: Today was such a complete waste at work I don’t know why I bothered to stick around. The only positive result I can think of is my desk is a lot neater. Other than that we did pretty much nada. But I got paid for it. :)

  92. 92
    Elliecat says:

    No time to look it up but IIRC back in about 2004 Ricky was whining about how it was nigh but impossible for him and his wife and six kids to manage on his measly $165,000/yr Senate salary so they relied on gifts of money from his (retired) parents. So clearly he knows from personal experience what it’s like to be low-income.

  93. 93
    Jebediah says:

    If anyone would like to look at another (smaller) puppeh, here is Juno at Starbucks, photo taken by Vince with his new iphone.

  94. 94
    Yutsano says:

    @Jebediah: MAS PUPPEHS!!

  95. 95
    Jebediah says:

    @Yutsano:

    MAS PUPPEHS!!

    Your command is my… oh wait, how does that go? Oh never mind, here you go.

  96. 96
    gelfling545 says:

    Being brought up Catholic, I have never been able to fathom just why women stayed with the RC Church. Starting with banning birth control & moving on to their general position that women are, at best, an inferior sub-species, I could not see what that Church had to offer. I can now see that for a woman who ended up married to someone like this reptile and for whatever reasons had not run like hell at the first chance, it offers at least a way to make him stay away from you for most of the month, and, with care, it can spread out to months at a time. “Oops, sorry, dear. We missed the “safe” day. Better luck next month.”

  97. 97
    PIGL says:

    @Mark S.: The problem is two-fold:

    1) about 50% of everyone is an asshole of one sort or another;

    2) romantic ideas of universal sufferage and similar norms have saddled us with a political and economic system that can only tend to high-tech feudalsim.

  98. 98
    PIGL says:

    @JGabriel: well, older than 16.

    (ducks)

  99. 99

    Rick could be a character in a Dicken’s novel considering the speeches he makes. This attitude that suffering builds character is so economical for the upper class that they push this story constantly in hopes that it will catch on. Problem is, when there is no stable middle class, countries usually destabilize very quickly. Seems as if suffering really never “catches on” with those who have to endure it.

  100. 100
    Sally MacEwen says:

    Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression. It means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is something on which to pride yourself. But poverty itself is romanticized only by fools.” ~ J.K. Rowling

  101. 101
    john f says:

    @gelfling545: Also, as someone raised Catholic, while suffering is part of life what about our duty to relieve the suffering of our fellow human beings.i.e. the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy,”…whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers,” love thy neighbor, etc. Not to mention every 20th century Pope teaching the role of the State to help ensure the common good of all its citizens.

    “If “you’re lower income, you can qualify for Medicaid, you can qualify for food stamps, you can qualify for housing assistance,” Santorum complained, before adding, “suffering is part of life and it’s not a bad thing, it is an essential thing in life.””

    So should poor people forgo eating, having a roof over their heads or for their kids or grandparents?

  102. 102
    john f says:

    @gelfling545: Rick Santorum and his wife lost one of his children shortly after birth , so he suffered that tragedy, his wife wrote a memoir about it called Letters to Gabriel. So I can’t get my head wrapped around how he advocates the political positions he takes. Forgoing Medicaid can result in a lot of tragedy and suffering for a family that needs it.

Comments are closed.