Open Thread – I think she wants something from me but I’m not sure what it is

From this morning’s email:

If I donate, Michele, would you spend the money on a decent copy-editor?

I can’t wait to not read the book.

58 replies
  1. 1

    There was a joke in there somewhere about colon abuse, but I couldn’t quite make it work.

  2. 2
    Martin says:

    Jesus is her copy-editor.

    Sarah, why do you believe Jesus is indecent?

  3. 3
    4tehlulz says:

    Writes better than the engineers I deal with on a daily basis.

  4. 4
    gogol's wife says:

    Dangling modifiers all over the place.

  5. 5
    Martin says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: You could have integrated it into the Arkansas daughter-beater and Michigan Taliban law stories and gone for a whole pray-away-gay, colon abuse, grifter, redemption-through-violence power-play. But that would have been hella work.

  6. 6
    Martin says:

    @gogol’s wife: Her husband will get right on that.

  7. 7

    @Martin:

    Sarah, why do you believe Jesus is indecent?

    Because when he gives me my morning colonic, he always rabbits on about exactly what he got up to over the weekend at the Manhole Baths and Disco Emporium in Spokane Heights. Indecent doesn’t even begin to describe it.

    Wait, you meant that other Jesus.

    Sorry, no idea. I always liked “Jesus” Jesus. I suspect he would want to poke Michele in the eye with a fish fork just as much as the rest of us do.

  8. 8
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    If I donate, Michele, would you spend the money on a decent copy-editor?

    Ooh, snap!

    SPAT is a goddess. Anyone who says otherwise must be stoned!

  9. 9
    Martin says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: I think Michele would be a much more credible GOP candidate with a Elle Driver-style eyepatch now that you mention it.

  10. 10
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    In Queensryche’s “Operation Mindcrime” before the song “The Mission”, the minister on the television says “The Holy Ghost is calling out to you. I want you to reach deep into your hearts and your pocketbooks, and take His hand.” These types of letters always make me think of that.

  11. 11

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Wait, you meant that other Jesus.

    Oh, Sarah! [giggling]

  12. 12
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    “If I don’t raise enough money, God will call me home!”

    Talk about your very bad motivational message…

  13. 13
    kindness says:

    That’s mighty pricey for butt-wipe.

  14. 14
    scav says:

    OT even in an open thread as the theme developing is such a rich one so excuse me but Poor Ol fils Murdoch, testifying again next week and they just had to go announce another 2,000 possible hacking victims of Mulcaire (up to ~5,800) and they just arrested somebody from the Sun for Police payments. The Yetis may have had to sit down and take a breather but there’s still a solid simmer going on. Because I’ve run out of links to point to the legal evidence that a good portion of them knew about it all in 2008 and poor ol fils is going to have to come up with some industrial scale amnesia right quickly. I am so giddy and over things that in so many ways are remarkably tangent to my life. Ah well, I’ll take it.

    Ah yes, after long examination in multiple contexts, Louise Mensch is a shallow posturing self-serving politico at best, but I’m still not entirely convinced she was going easy on Murdoch, only because I don’t think she has the moral convictions to protect anyone else without it being of direct personal benefit. It was a thing of joy to watch Hislop and Merton squish her over her Starbucks blather in re: Occupy St. Paul.

    Oh my giddy aunt, I am in a state.

  15. 15
    Loneoak says:

    I wonder if I could get her to personalize it for “Poorly Disciplined Barbarian.”

  16. 16
    Poopyman says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    SPAT is a goddess. Anyone who says otherwise must be stoned!

    Well, I would not feel so all alone ….

  17. 17
    Culture of Truth says:

    Funny, she left out the part about working for the IRS.

  18. 18
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    OT, but this is an open thread…

    Neofeudalist buttmunch Ron Paul is running web ads now (even on this very site, via our friends at Google) about how he is the best choice for the military vote, featuring a photo of some handsome young enlisted type.

    Who happens to be white.

    I wonder why that is? Given the long history of support Paul has from certain, erm, “interest groups” in this country?

  19. 19
    R-Jud says:

    @scav:

    It was a thing of joy to watch Hislop and Merton squish her over her Starbucks blather in re: Occupy St. Paul.

    Wasn’t it just? My brother, a reformed Republican, was screaming obscenities at her while we watched that. Hee hee.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    MikeJ says:

    @Martin:

    You could have integrated it into the Arkansas daughter-beater

    Texas daughter beater. Aransas (no K) county.

  22. 22
    ABL says:

    good to know that Michelle Bachmann is one of Michele Bachmann’s strongest supporter.

    Fuckin’ Elements of Style. How do they work?

  23. 23
    ABL says:

    Dangling modifiers all over the place.

    Is that what Marcus calls it?

    Hmm. I reckon Michele has never seen an erect modifier.

  24. 24

    Why would you hyphenate “copy-editor” when making a joke about same? Is that supposed to be irony?

  25. 25
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @bob_is_boring:

    The correct comment on that is “I saw what you did there”.

  26. 26
    fasteddie9318 says:

    Hasn’t anybody had anything to say about Radley Balko’s love poem to the capitalist paradise that is, um, Nigeria? I’m getting ready to move there as soon as I can, especially since some nice gentleman there has offered to share the proceeds of some ministry or another’s surplus if I just provide him with my bank information! It’s a win-win!

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @fasteddie9318:

    The more crony capitalist the place is, the more the wingtards love it.

    It’s bizarre.

  28. 28
    THE says:

    If Michelle Bachmann is writing a book, I just hope there’s watercolor pens so we can color in the pictures.

  29. 29
    Ken says:

    I think we can definitely move her candidacy into the book-tour column now.

  30. 30
    Loneoak says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    There was a joke in there somewhere about colon abuse, but I couldn’t quite make it work.

    Must have been a shitty joke.

  31. 31
    jl says:

    What’s the difference between an ‘autographed copy’, and a ‘personalized autographed copy’? (other than the 50 smackeroos?)

    Why does the letter say ‘accidental’ political career? How is a person running for the state legislature after years of active political campaign work ‘accidental’

    Why has Sarah Proud and Tall not told the BJ readers that she is friends with Michelle Bachmann?

  32. 32

    @bob_is_boring:

    Is that supposed to be irony?

    I blame the booze.

    Actually, I suspect it was because I conflated the British “sub-editor” with the American “copy editor”, but I prefer your “irony” idea.

  33. 33
    scav says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: They’re really going to love the Muslim-Christian open warfare in the Middle belt. And the Naiga police are a little more free-wheeling agents then they might be expecting based on what they expect here . . Goodluck with that Jonathan.

  34. 34
    MikeJ says:

    @jl:

    What’s the difference between an ‘autographed copy’, and a ‘personalized autographed copy’?

    Your name.

  35. 35
    jl says:

    @fasteddie9318: Does Balko know that a group of Nigerian con men pulled off one of the most successful and lucrative corporate swindles in history, with Big Oil corps as the marks? The swindlers said it was ‘like taking candy from babies’.

    I think I saw this on 60 minutes, so maybe the segment is available online.

  36. 36
    jl says:

    @MikeJ: I don’t get it, I could buy a copy and sign it myself for no extra charge.

    uuuuuuuuuuuhhhh…. what am I missing?

  37. 37
    Warren Terra says:

    If I donate, Michele, would you spend the money on a decent copy-editor?

    Sarah, are you suggesting that Michelle Bachmann isn’t one of Michelle Bachmann’s most valued supporters? Why shouldn’t Michelle Bachmann, as one of Michelle Bachmann’s most valued supporters, want to let you know about this opportunity?

  38. 38

    @jl:

    Why has Sarah Proud and Tall not told the BJ readers that she is friends with Michelle Bachmann?

    It’s true. She and I met years ago at a Girls Gone Wild shoot.

  39. 39
    Martin says:

    @MikeJ:

    Texas daughter beater. Aransas (no K) county.

    Christ. Texas couldn’t have gotten a bit more creative with their county names rather than stealing a neighbor state name and leaving out a letter? You don’t see us running around with Oreon, Evada, and Ariona counties, do you?

  40. 40

    @Warren Terra:

    You make a good point. I also want to know how her goals and determination were shaped by a bunch of stories, and what the hell a public square has to do with anything.

  41. 41
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    Damn, I just did a spit take and startled the cat.

    Need to find a towel. Back in a bit.

  42. 42
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Neofeudalist buttmunch Ron Paul is running web ads now (even on this very site, via our friends at Google) about how he is the best choice for the military vote, featuring a photo of some handsome young enlisted type.

    I’m fairly certain that’s a photo of Young Master Paul himself.

  43. 43
    Culture of Truth says:

    @MikeJ: What’s the difference between an ‘autographed copy’, and a ‘personalized autographed copy’?

    Your name.

    “Dear Sucker,”

  44. 44
    jayjaybear says:

    @ABL: That may be the very first time I’ve ever mentally imagined E.B. White and William Strunk Jr. in ICP makeup…

  45. 45
    jayjaybear says:

    @FlipYrWhig: No way! They had photography that long ago?!

  46. 46
    Warren Terra says:

    Now, if the same “personally autographed copy” deal arises for Santorum’s book, the temptation to pool together and buy Dan Savage a trophy copy will be strong.

  47. 47
    Tractarian says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    This dangler, in particular, is a doozy.

    As one of my strongest supporters, I would like to send you your own copy today!

    Heh.

  48. 48
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @jayjaybear: Maybe Matthew Brady took it.

  49. 49
    Gravenstone says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): Right before Nikki chambers a round, and shoots out the TV.

    And let us not forget the beauty that is Spreading the Disease. “selling skin, or selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards”.

  50. 50
    Brachiator says:

    An interesting little story with many possible ramifications:

    Vatican stunned by Irish embassy closure
    __
    Catholic Ireland’s stunning decision to close its embassy to the Vatican is a huge blow to the Holy See’s prestige and may be followed by other countries which feel the missions are too expensive, diplomatic sources said on Friday.
    __
    The closure brought relations between Ireland and the Vatican, once ironclad allies, to an all-time low following the row earlier this year over the Irish Church’s handling of sex abuse cases and accusations that the Vatican had encouraged secrecy.

    Which brings to mind,

    Let’s all do the Vatican Rag

  51. 51
    harlana says:

    Sarah, when you made your donation to the Bachmann campaign, were you having one of your innocent, but less than lucid moments at “the home” or was it one of those gin-soaked, free-for-all weekends where you end up with a tuxedo thong and a half-empty pack of Pall Malls in your bed the next morning and you have no idea how they got there?

  52. 52
    WereBear says:

    Little Tristan, 14 months old. Remember when he was a tiny morsel of catness?

    Kiss mah belly!

  53. 53
    harlana says:

    anyway, there’s a story in there somewhere and I demand the usual vivid and colorful details!

  54. 54
    jayjaybear says:

    @harlana: She ALWAYS remembers how they got there. It’s just…convenient, sometimes, to appear to have forgotten. Just because she’s 92 and has done more coke than Robin Williams, more acid than Timothy Leary, more MJ than Jerry Garcia and more Chivas than Mick Jagger doesn’t mean she’s impaired…

  55. 55
    harlana says:

    @WereBear: that little fella is just begging for a furbert! “bbbbbppppptthhh!!”

  56. 56
    SRW1 says:

    $125 for at most two punds of cellulose? Gotta say I know a lot of sources for toilet paper that’s way cheaper. Not to speak of the fact that it tends to come in a far more convenient form.

  57. 57
    harlana says:

    Okay, I’m looking forward to “The Night I Donated To The Bachmann Campaign” installment. It’s gotta be a doozy. I’m thinking Ukranian pool boys may have been involved.

  58. 58

    @Villago Delenda Est
    @Sarah Proud and Tall

    Ah. I see. Had to give it up the booze, so sometimes I forget. Or: I’m a bitter, mostly out-of-work copy editor with a hyphen fetish. I forget which.

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