Domestic Terra: Four Crazy Coots Plan Killing Spree at Waffle House

Waffle House LogoAdam Serwer has an amusing-slash-scary story about four senior citizens who, while dining on food items that were surely “smothered and covered” in some manner, plotted to go on a killing spree.  Why?  To save the Konstatooshun, of course:

Four senior citizens walk into a Waffle House planning to go on a killing spree in order to “save the Constitution.”

That’s not the beginning of a joke, it’s the scenario outlined by the FBI in a criminal complaint filed against four Georgia men yesterday who allegedly sought to use the online novel of a frequent Fox News guest named Mike Vanderboegh as a model for a terrorist plot against US government officials. The four men, Samuel Crump, Frederick Roberts, Ray Adams, and Dan Roberts, who named themselves “the covert group” (subtle!) allegedly fantasized about dispersing the toxic agent ricin over Washington DC and Atlanta, and hoped to ultimately obtain botulinium toxin, which Adams believed could kill millions of people in small doses.

“We need somebody to back us with some damn money so we can make that other shit,” Crump said at a Waffle House in Toccoa, Georgia. according to the criminal complaint. Crump added that botulinium toxin was “worse than anthrax.”

What was the ostensible purpose of all this killing? Saving the country of course. “There is no way for us, as militiamen, to save this country, to save Georgia, without doing something that’s highly, highly illegal: murder,” Thomas reportedly said. “When it comes time to saving the Constitution, that means some people have got to die.” The FBI also alleges that “Thomas, Roberts and others discussed the need to obtain unregistered silencers and explosive devices for use in attacks against federal government buildings and employees, as well as against local police.”

This story hits all the marks.  Crazy?  Check.  Southern?  Check. Fox News tie-in?  Check.  An unhealthy lust for the Constitution?  Check.  Waffle House?  Look, I’m going with “check” on this one. A lot of weird shit goes on at Waffle House. Remember the Florida legislator who wanted to bring back firing squads, Old Sparky, or “death by tossing a mofo over a bridge” because he was “so tired of being humane.”  Where’d he get that idea?  That’s right, it was a Waffle House.

Waffle House justice isn’t a joke, people.


[via Mother Jones]

[cross-posted at Angry Black Lady Chronicles]

124 replies
  1. 1
    Special Patrol Group says:

    Liberals are the Real Fascists!

  2. 2
    flukebucket says:

    Toccoa? Ain’t that the town where the cops accidentally shot a preacher because they thought he was a dope dealer? Damn.

  3. 3
    DBrown says:

    Wonder what our local kocksuckers … I mean trolls have to say?

  4. 4
    wenchacha says:

    But what are their Mooslim names?

  5. 5
    Chyron HR says:

    Like Jefferson said, sometimes you have to water the tree of liberty with chemical weapons.

  6. 6
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    I think we’ll all agree that they should be indefinitely detained in Gitmo, right John Yoo?

  7. 7
    Violet says:

    Where does this rank on the Waffle House Index?

  8. 8
    Brian S says:

    Have the wing nuts started screaming that these guys were nowhere near to actually pulling this off yet and that this is the thought police run wild? Free the Waffle House Four!

  9. 9
    David in NY says:

    Well, at least they got the idea from Fox News, and not the FBI, for a change.

  10. 10
    Poopyman says:

    Ah! So this is what Raven was referring to earlier this AM.

    If only they’d gone to IHOP their nefarious scheme would still be a secret!

  11. 11
    scav says:

    or wait, shouldn’t the Waffle House being calling in the police and shutting their doors because protesters have entered the building?

    Seriously, they’re going to get quite the rep though. “Come for the Waffles. Stay for the Sedition.”

  12. 12
    ned says:

    Seriously, next time the South secedes, let’s just build a wall. With a moat in front of it. And sharks with frickin laser beams in the moat.

  13. 13
    Judas Escargot says:

    If only Bill Hicks were still alive. He might have been by himself, reading, over in the next booth.

    Waffle Waitress: “What you readin’ for?”

    Hicks: “Well, for one thing, so I don’t end up being a f_cking waffle waitress.”

    Trucker: “Looks like we got ourselves a reader!

  14. 14
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    As I pointed out last night, when this story broke, these four guys CANNOT be terrorists. Why?

    1. White.

    2. Not Muslim.

    I rest my case.

  15. 15
    ed drone says:

    @Brian S:

    Have the wing nuts started screaming…?

    Well, the folks on “Fox and Friends” considered it, but waffled when it came time.


  16. 16
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    I suppose it is reassuring in a way that it was a bunch of total idiots that were coming up with such a vile plot.

  17. 17
    Poopyman says:

    At least one of them realized that murder is “highly, highly illegal”. No word on whether any of them thought it might be, uh, “wrong”, is there?

  18. 18
    Surly Duff says:

    It’s not a coincidence that these things go on in Waffle Houses, it is just that every small town in the South has at least two of them located in each town, often on opposite sides of the same exit ramp. There aren’t many other places where you can get a bottomless cup of cofee necessary for plotting the violent overthrow of the gubmint now-a-days. That, and their hash browns are tasty.

  19. 19
    Dr. Squid says:

    @flukebucket: It’s also the hometown of the Icy Hot Stuntaz.

  20. 20
    DFS says:

    Scattered smothered covered chunked and capped.

    How about y’all?

  21. 21
    Poopyman says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    I suppose it is reassuring in a way that it was a bunch of total idiots coming up with such a vile plot.

    As opposed to the FBI?

  22. 22
    kerFuFFler says:

    Would-be reapers meeting at Der Waffle House? Why am I not surprised? Did the “covert group” have any post-its?

  23. 23
    Brian K says:

    I think the initial review of License To Ill was something like “three idiots create a masterpiece.”

    From a comedic standpoint, I think we just need to change it to four.

    btw, I’m from Ohio originally and Waffle House was an occasional favorite. Their waffles are the perfect size to be filling but not make you sick. Plus the menu demands no sharing on the double waffle, which I always loved.

    btw, also too, my friends and I were told once by a Waffle House waitress that they referred to the potatoes with all the covered and smothered and what have you as the “train wreck” which is just awesome.

  24. 24
    catclub says:

    @Dr. Squid: I remember it as hometown of ‘worlds strongest man’ who lifted a table with 6000 pounds (back lift).

    I read that in a 1970’s guinness book, so it may be out of date.

  25. 25
    catclub says:

    Southern white traitors. Whoocoodanode?

  26. 26

    “the covert group”

    That’s because “definitely not terrorists” was too hard to spell…

  27. 27
    Poopyman says:

    @Poopyman: Ah, shoulda read the MoJo article first:

    … So how much more operational was this plot than your average FBI sting involving some hapless al-Qaeda fanboy? That’s not really clear. While the group demonstrated an ability to independently manufacture ricin, which is made from widely available castor beans, the criminal complaint begins with a meeting surveilled by an FBI “confidential human source” in March. While the FBI recordings showing the four men expressing an eagerness to kill large numbers of people in pursuit of their political goals will likely preclude any entrapment defense, there’s no way to know from the criminal complaint what level of involvement the FBI’s confidential human source had in putting together the whole plan, or even the existence of the group itself, or whether the source came upon the plot by other means.

  28. 28
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Ya left out one:

    #3 Republican

    Cuz we all know the only patriotic, USAlovin’ ‘Murkins are all Republicans. The rest of us should be deported at best, shot at worst.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    The Fox affiliate here in the Dallas Ft Worth area has decided it’s their job to prove how dangerous the Occupy Dallas group is by taunting them.

  31. 31
    piratedan says:

    @Violet: regular customers that don’t tip well?

  32. 32
    Chet says:

    Botulism toxin. “Botulinium” isn’t a thing, I don’t think.

  33. 33
    RSA says:

    Clueless yahoos.

    “We need somebody to back us with some damn money so we can make that other shit,” Crump said at a Waffle House

    They’re eating at a Waffle House and they’re at a loss for a source of biological weapons?

  34. 34
    The Moar You Know says:

    I’m sure all four will get a speedy ticket onto Georgia’s Death Row for this heinous act of terrorism.

    Why are you all laughing?

  35. 35
    Dr. Squid says:

    @flukebucket: I’ll try.

  36. 36
    cleek says:

    Definition of “Domestic Terrorism”:

    `(5) the term `domestic terrorism’ means activities that–

      `(A) involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State;

      `(B) appear to be intended–

        `(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;

        `(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or

        `(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and

      `(C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.’.

  37. 37
    DBrown says:

    These loons could just claim that asswipe General ‘Lee’ was their inspiration, hero, mentor and guiding light so all was well – the south and being a terrorist/traitor who commits mass murder of Americans is a tradition taught deeply into their single operating neuron as their god given right – heritage of hate is all they have left.

  38. 38
    MikeJ says:

    DC and Atlanta huh? I’ll bet anybody who has been subjected to the “joke” about what MARTA stands for can tell you what demographic similarity those two places have.

  39. 39
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Poopyman: I posted it last night too. Toccoa is where Curahee Mountain is as well. That’s where the 101st trained for their D-Day jump.

  40. 40
    TooManyJens says:

    @cleek: ‘And (D) are committed by Muslims or hippies.’

  41. 41
    Woodrowfan says:

    OK, OK I’ll get your damn lawn! put the ricin down!

  42. 42
    flickeringlamp says:

    Step 1. Indiscriminant murder via chemical weapons.

    Step 2. ?

    Step 3. Constitution saved!!!

  43. 43
    stinkwrinkle says:

    God, I love Waffle House.

    I’m all for nukin’ the South, but we gotta save Waffle House deliciousness technology for future generations.

  44. 44

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    #3. not an animal, environmental or peace activist

  45. 45
    Nevgu says:

    You can’t fix stupid. But not hard to find it. Waffle House is apparently a hotbed.

  46. 46
    burnspbesq says:

    I’m setting the over/under on how many hours before Eric Cantor threatens to cut the FBI’s budget at 36. And I’m taking the under.

  47. 47

    Lots of historic saving shit revolution type stuff was hatched at Waffle House. Storming the Bastille, The Muppet’s Take Manhattan, and of course the huge wingnut fav, Ernest Saves Christmas. No surprise in this story.

  48. 48
    Poopyman says:


    I’m all for nukin’ the South, but we gotta save Waffle House deliciousness technology for future generations.

    I’m confident that Waffle House food-like products are as nuke-proof as cockroaches.

  49. 49
    burnspbesq says:

    If you ever want to know what it feels like to be an outsider, walk into a Waffle House anywhere in North Carolina wearing a Duke t-shirt and carrying a copy of the New York Times. In order to get the full effect, specify “no grits” when your order is taken.

  50. 50
    carolus says:

    Seems the ringleader was a poster and commenter at RedState.

  51. 51
    carolus says:

    Seems the ringleader was a poster and commenter at RedState.

  52. 52
    RareSanity says:

    As a resident (and native) of Atlanta, it warms the cockles of my heart that these 4 south Georgia hicks, wanted to kill me, my family, my extended family, my friends and every other resident of the city, because they fancy themselves “sacred defenders of the Constitution”.

    Whether or not they could have actually pulled it off, especially thinking that botulinium toxin is worse than anthrax, if these 4 hicks exist, there are others. It only takes one nutjob, to be in the same place that me and my family happen to be, to cause us harm, with any type of weapon. Firearm, explosive or chemical.

    But I guess OWS and budget deficits are really the worse problems that affect our country.

  53. 53
    Mnemosyne says:

    I would find these guys funnier if it weren’t for James von Brunn.

  54. 54

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    The same Fox affiliate that declared the Texas Rangers won the world series on their web site last Thursday…

  55. 55
    burnspbesq says:

    Waiting to hear that Viet Dinh and Paul Clement have agreed to represent the defendants pro bono.

  56. 56
    RossinDetroit says:

    How many more times does this have to happen before we give up thinking that terrorists are all brown and say Allah every third word?

    That many? Wow!

  57. 57
    qwerty42 says:

    And here is Wonkette on the subject.

  58. 58
    Brian S says:

    @Surly Duff:

    That, and their hash browns are tasty.

    Only at 3:00 a.m. when you’re trying to soak up the Jäger bombs.

  59. 59
    ed drone says:


    What? No security escort to make sure I clear the building and have turned in all keys and other property? Sloppy procedures here, I must say. I’m glad I’m leaving — I don’t want to work in such a poorly-run business anyway.


  60. 60
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    It’s funny, we have an old line lefty here in Athens who writes a column in the local rag and his hangout is the Awful Waffle!

  61. 61
    Thoughtcrime says:

    These words were overheard in another waffle house:

    The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.


  62. 62

    @Brian S: #8

    Free the Waffle House Four!


  63. 63
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Thoughtcrime: They don’t have no Waffle Houses in LA! That’s the Hawthorne Grill up the street from my sister’s crib.

  64. 64
    WereBear says:

    Truly, life imitates the Coen brothers on this one. I hope they make the movie.

  65. 65
    John Weiss says:

    @Thoughtcrime: Why do think that the crazy christian religionists are so fond of the old testament? I think that they’re fond of the fire and blood. You?

  66. 66
    Tom Johnson says:

    I think you’re overstating the significance of the Waffle House locale for plots of this nature. The key variable in this might not be the Waffle House itself, so much as it is the fact that Waffle House’s food is a sure cure for hangovers. Thus, people in the foulest of all humors go there to eat loaded hashbrowns and pork patties while swilling coffee.

    Things like cold-blooded murder make a lot of sense when you’re hungover. Who among us hasn’t considered killing a child for the sin of clinking spoon against cereal bowl, a spouse for running a vacuum cleaner, or a beloved next-door neighbor for starting his lawnmower? It’s not that big a leap to contemplate shooting a federal judge or throwing a convict off a bridge, really.

    So its probably not the Waffle House itself that’s the problem. We just need to get southerners to start drinking a better quality of booze, and maybe taking a couple of aspirin before they go to sleep. Do that and I’m guessing the incidence of domestic terrorism will plummet.

  67. 67
    Sanjuro says:

    It’s a shame they didn’t dine at the nearby Cracker Barrel. It would have been a much more fun term to classify this as the Cracker Barrel Rebellion.

  68. 68
    b-psycho says:

    Has germ warfare ever been plotted in a more appropriate place?

  69. 69
    soonergrunt says:

    @ned: We can’t afford sharks since Bush ballooned the debt.
    I can give you ill-tempered sea bass, though.

  70. 70
    Joel says:

    @Chet: Botulinum toxin is correct. Botulism is the disease caused by infectious botulinum bacteria. It’s why canned goods have a pop lid.

  71. 71
    shoutingattherain says:

    “We need somebody to back us with some damn money so we can make that other shit,” Crump said…

    Funding your plot to destroy the government with your Social Security checks just isn’t enough nowadays. Apparently this Band of Botherers din’t think this all the way thru.

  72. 72
    Chet says:

    I’ll cop to being wrong, but in 20 years of reading about biological weapons this is the first time I’ve heard it called “Botulinium toxin.” But, it passes autocorrect so it must be right.

  73. 73
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Tom Johnson: Son, they got booze up there that won’t quit. It’s just a hop skip and jump from the Chatooga where Deliverance was filmed.

  74. 74
    Thoughtcrime says:

    @Raven (formerly stuckinred):

    Looks like you’re right. Thanks for the correction. I like to check out favorite movie locations when I’m in town.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    beergoggles says:

    there’s no way to know from the criminal complaint what level of involvement the FBI’s confidential human source had in putting together the whole plan, or even the existence of the group itself, or whether the source came upon the plot by other means

    The FBI, making Americans afraid of themselves since 1908.

  77. 77
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Thoughtcrime: Tarantino worked in a video store in Manhattan Beach and was familiar with all kinds of locations in that area. Many of the bars, eateries and even the Del Amo Mall were used in Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown.

  78. 78
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Raven (formerly stuckinred):

    And, of course, Ordell was able to get Beaumont’s cooperation by promising him a trip to Roscoe’s.

  79. 79
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    The article isn’t clear about how these yayhoos expected killing a bunch of people to help. Had they thought about that part? Or was it just if you kill everyone in the gummint the Constushun will pop back up and take over?

  80. 80
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Mnemosyne: Try Gladys’s!

  81. 81
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Chet: Two many i’s. It’s correctly spelled “Botulinum”.

  82. 82
    PurpleGirl says:

    @General Stuck: Very good, sir, very good. Thanks for the laugh.

  83. 83
    burnspbesq says:


    Typical fact-free MoJo innuendo, of which you should be highly skeptical.

    If these idiots were entrapped, they can offer it as a defense at trial. But that defense almost never works. The FBI has gotten very good at not crossing the line.

  84. 84
    j low says:

    I wonder if any of the polling outfits that have measured Tea Party Derangement Syndrome have ever asked how many of their respondents are Waffle House regulars?

  85. 85

    Hey, I thought the rule was

    “what happens at Waffle House, stays at Waffle House!”

    As a result, I predict that all the charges will be dropped.

  86. 86
    The Dangerman says:

    OK, it appears that the South will have to be burned to the ground again; this time, how do we disinfect it afterwards?

  87. 87
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @Snarki, child of Loki: If it were state, maybe. I did read that this witness dude is sketchy.

  88. 88
    catclub says:

    @Chet: Botulinium is right there on the aperiodic table next to Unobtanium and Dilithium.

  89. 89
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    I think you would have to read The Turner Diaries for their plot to make sense. Not that it makes much sense there, but at least you would know why they thought it was a viable idea.

  90. 90
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    @The Dangerman: The same way you do Michigan when you do the same because of their Militia terror dudes.

  91. 91
    Roger Moore says:

    Weak sauce, even for waffle related outsiderness. I’m white, and I once went to Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles on Sunday morning dressed in shorts and a tee shirt.

  92. 92
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Whoops. That was a major faux pas, as I’m sure you figured out upon walking in.

    I’ve been to two Roscoe’s (Pasadena and the one on Manchester). IIRC, I went to the one on Manchester after going to a club with a (black) friend of mine, so I didn’t get any dress code related stares.

  93. 93
    Roger Moore says:

    @The Dangerman:

    OK, it appears that the South will have to be burned to the ground again; this time, how do we disinfect it afterwards?

    I suggest we take off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  94. 94
    SenyorDave says:

    One of these guys should just file to run for the GOP nomination. He’d probably be leading in SC by now.

  95. 95
    Legalize says:

    And of course, two of these patriots were, at one time, wait for it — federal employees.

  96. 96
    srv says:


    Seems the ringleader was a poster and commenter at RedState.

    You do know that John Cole used to be a front pager there?

  97. 97
    Gus says:

    i’d be this falls into the same category as the assclowns in Miami who were planning on taking down the Sears Tower.

  98. 98
    eugene says:

    “We need somebody to back us with some damn money so we can make that other shit,”

    That’s the kind of plain talk that coastal elites despise.

  99. 99
    Speedy says:

    Seems the ringleader was a poster and commenter at RedState.

    Looks like Eric’s Trike Force is short 4 members , and I wonder how much scrubbing is going on in Freeper Land?

  100. 100
    JGabriel says:

    The four men, Samuel Crump, Frederick Roberts, Ray Adams, and Dan Roberts, … hoped to ultimately obtain botulinium toxin, which Adams believed could kill millions of people in small doses.

    They’re gonna Botox(tm) ’em to death!


  101. 101
    M-pop says:

    @Brian K: I wish I could give your post a thumbs-up like on Wonkette – thanks for sharing your Waffle House lore.

    On the topic, I’m pretty shocked by the lack of regard these asshats have about the human cost of this fantasy.

  102. 102
    soonergrunt says:

    @carolus: Oh. Dear. That IS surprising.

  103. 103
    Peggy says:

    Is IHOP a safe place?

    Ricin is unfortunately very easy to come by- I won’t post how to do it.

  104. 104
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    Atlanta — Authorities say at least two suspects accused of plotting attacks involving deadly biological toxins are former federal employees.

    Court records state that one suspected member of a Georgia militia group worked for the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

    Authorities said another man who was arrested worked for a contractor at the federal Centers for Disease Control.

    Prosecutors said that 65-year-old Ray Adams used to work as a lab technician for a USDA agency known as the Agricultural Research Service.

    Court documents state that CDC officials confirmed that another suspect, 68-year-old Samuel Crump, worked at the CDC in the past for a contractor that did maintenance at the Atlanta-based agency.

    Prosecutors say the men were part of a group that tried to obtain explosives and aimed to produce ricin, a lethal toxin.

  105. 105
    Raven (formerly stuckinred) says:

    North Georia

  106. 106
    El Cid says:

    @Gus: Except these guys were openly yelling “I INTEND TO MURDER PEOPLE” and “WE NEED TO BLOW UP BUILDINGS WITH FEDERAL WORKERS IN THEM LIKE TIMOTHY MCVEIGH DID” without FBI informants luring them to agree to some subtle indirect statement. Not to mention one of them was a lab tech for USDA and was trying to obtain castor beans to make the ricin.

    Prosecutors must have been stunned at how clearly these guys indicted themselves.

  107. 107
    David in NY says:


    The FBI has gotten very good at not crossing the line.

    Judges have gotten even better at ignoring it.

  108. 108
    Menzies says:


    Please. Like Erick Son of Goat F***ing Child Molester would find this objectionable.

    He already got hired by CNN, he’s never going to have to care again what anyone on RedState says.

  109. 109
    Ruckus says:

    They met at an Awful House?


    The grease must have clogged the arteries to their little minds.

  110. 110
    Elizabelle says:

    Poor Waffle House.

    I haven’t seen corporate publicity like this since that Segway company dude went over a cliff on one of his vehicles.

  111. 111
    AnotherBruce says:

    Don’t waffle irons often make 4 waffles at a time? And there were 4 men plotting to kill millions?

    I don’t really know where I’m going with this.

  112. 112
    Michael says:

    I’ve visited Toccoa three times — twice to raft the Chattooga River, where “Deliverance” was filmed and another to scope out the steel cable stretched across the quarter-mile-wide Tallulah Gorge, which Karl Wallenda walked across.

    A pleasant little town a few decades ago. Then again I didn’t eat at the Waffle House.

    Something tells me we’ll soon hear “Dueling Banjos” as the theme for a Jon Stewart send-up of these Waffle House Wackos as well as a clever reference to “squeal like a pig.”

  113. 113
    scav says:

    Poor old guys were just called “morons” by their hero Mike Vanderboegh for taking him seriously. (ChiTrib) MV’s going with the defense that “his online posts are all about avoiding violence against the government.”

  114. 114
    Mnemosyne says:


    Given that these guys seem to have been proposing violence against their fellow citizens and not the government, I’m not sure that’s as strong a defense as MV seems to think.

  115. 115
    El Cid says:

    @Mnemosyne: They dreamed of killing both, FWIW. And they were freakishly, bluntly, self-incriminatingly clear about that.

  116. 116
    Paris says:

    The greatest generation!

  117. 117
    Susanna K. says:

    This surprises me not at all. These 4 are only slightly more extreme than all the other old, white, male Tea Party activists around here. I live in Aiken, SC just across the GA border, and I expect that there are many folks in my county thinking to themselves, “Those guys were right on the money.”

  118. 118
    Mnemosyne says:

    @El Cid:

    To be fair, they’re probably old enough to remember the good ol’ days when you could blow up churches full of kids and it was no big deal as far as the police were concerned.

  119. 119
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:


    From that link:

    The four gray-haired men — Frederick Thomas, 73; Dan Roberts, 67; Ray Adams, 65; and Samuel Crump, 68 — appeared in federal court Wednesday without entering a plea and were jailed for a bail hearing next week. They apparently had trouble hearing the judge, some of them cupping their ears.

    I wonder if they were at the Waffle House yelling at each other…

    Redneck #1: We’ll have to take that building down like Timothy McVeigh did!

    Redneck #2: What?

    Redneck #4: cupping ear: Speak up, I can’t hear you!

    Redneck #1: I said, we’ll have to take that building down like Timothy McVeigh did!

    Redneck #3: Why is everyone staring at us? Could you pass the syrup please?

  120. 120
    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy) says:

    @flukebucket: That is indeed the town. My home town. And Dan Roberts got charged for throwing a rock at a school bus during a “bring back the stars and bars to the state flag” rally.

    As they used to say on TV:

    “Hee-Haw salutes my hometown, Toccoa, Georgee, population 6,000 and falling … SAAAH-LUTE!”

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    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy) says:

    @catclub: Paul Anderson. There’s a park there with his name on it now. With a big bronze statue that looks like Fred Flintstone.

    This story has been like Old Home Week.

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    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy) says:

    @Raven (formerly stuckinred): James Brown spent some of his formative years (well, the ones where he wasn’t in prison) there, and several members of the Famous Flames are from there.

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    Slobyskya Rotchikokov says:

    Actually, all that the geriatric four needed to do was tell the arresting officers that they were all muslim; then they would have been freed, sent on their way with much fanfare, ass kissing by local government reps, lawyers from CAIR helping them file lawsuits, and calls from Hilary Clinton to apologize for their lost time.
    Oh and maybe they would have been invited to the White House for a halal meal with the muslim-in-chief.

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