Another Open Thread – Hot Japanese Girls!

I can’t stop watching. It’s like eating marshmallow while bathing in fairy floss inside a sugar house that David Lynch built inside John Waters brain.

h/t Paul Ryan’s Dirty Sockpuppet

ETA: With script by William Gibson. Does anyone know if this girl is even real?

EATA: I offer this for our electronica minded bretheren, to counteract the sugar.

EOATA: Crikey.

h/t Comrade Mary

79 replies
  1. 1
    ruemara says:

    God, it just makes me wish a tentacle would burst out of her head already.

  2. 2
    Yutsano says:

    It’s like…every single j-pop/anime trope stuffed into one video. And pretty remarkable considering how fat-phobic the Japanese are for females.

  3. 3
    darkmatter says:

    What in the nine hells am I watching? And I thought that Yatta was strange enough.

  4. 4
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    …fairy floss inside a sugar house that David Lynch built inside John Waters brain.

    Bugger. Now I have to watch it!

    Have I mentioned on this blog how much I love Baltimore culture? Edgar Allan Poe to HL Mencken to John Waters? Hah! Match that, LA and NY!!!

  5. 5
    moe99 says:

    Don’t forget HP Lovecraft, Brother Shotgun.

  6. 6


    God, it just makes me wish a tentacle would burst out of her head already.

    A girl has to save something for the second single.

  7. 7
    WarMunchkin says:

    Sent this video a while back to my old Japanese lab-mate, who wrote back “This is unexplainable.”

    That’s Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, who has been P.R.-ing herself as the “Lady Gaga of Japan”.

  8. 8

    @moe99: HP Lovecraft is more Providence, actually.

  9. 9
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @moe99: Really? Thanks, I learned something tonight.

    David Lynch and John Waters can only dream of coming up with a video like that. What the hell did I just see????

  10. 10
    Derf says:

    And still no post from General Doom Cole. I guess because this is too cup half full of a development. As soon as the rebels start cutting off peoples heads or whatev’s I am sure he will be on here saying “see, this is what happens when you mess with other countries”.

    I guess he needs Greenwald to start the thought process. Come hell or high water Cole will find a way to make this into a cup half empty moment. Because war is bad….so don’t do it..just because. Signed…..General Cole.

  11. 11
    WarMunchkin says:

    (yes it’s real)
    here’s her website:

  12. 12

    When you see a comment by Derf, think of an even less-funny version of this.

  13. 13
    Mnemosyne says:


    I don’t think the fat one was female. Which just made it even more surreal.

  14. 14

    Holy shit, that first video is goddamn frightening.

  15. 15
    eemom says:

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:

    didn’t you used to be SISTER Shotgun etc.? Is my memory failing or are surgical congratulations in order?

  16. 16

    what’s with the large woman in black face? I’m so confused. Maybe speaking Japanese would help …

  17. 17
    Yutsano says:

    @Southern Beale: Not really. Most of what I could understand was typical J-pop lyrical claptrap. There may be some subtleties in the verbs I’m missing. From the images though it’s normal Japanese hyper-consumerism.

    Did you go up the Needle yet? Or ride a duck?

    @Comrade Kevin: They kinda look like fun. They pass me all the time as I’m heading in to work (I park a block away) so it seems interesting to me.

  18. 18
    soonergrunt says:

    we should ask matoko-chan what this is all about. That’s a Japanese character after all.

  19. 19

    @Yutsano: I took the Duck tour one time I was up in Seattle, it was a blast!

  20. 20
    Jon H says:

    @Southern Beale: “what’s with the large woman in black face?”

    I’m not sure if it’s black face. It’s kinda purplish, and I’m not even sure if there’s any facial features, eyes, mouth, nose, etc.

  21. 21
    Comrade Mary says:

    Oh, if you want transcendent Japanese pop, it’s time for me to drag out a girl called Ringo for y’all again.

  22. 22
    Villago Delenda Est says:


    I’m sure she’ll give us as authentic a take on Japanese culture as she does on Middle Eastern cultures.

  23. 23
    LT says:

    my god…my god…Reed College Ren Faire tea is coming back, full force…what have you done…

  24. 24
    Derf says:

    @Comrade Kevin: Always appreciate the attention from my groupies. As you know us ‘trolls’ thrive on such attention.

  25. 25
    Comrade Mary says:

    Oh, and while we’re at it, a tutorial on big-eye anime makeup by the fabulous Michelle Phan.

    Bonus: her Bad Romance huge eyes tutorial, with some extra video trickery.

  26. 26
    McGeorge Bundy says:

    THAT. FIRST. VIDEO. IS. . . .

    A W E S O M E

    Holy fuck.

  27. 27
    Yutsano says:

    Okay fine. If we’re gonna play this game…

  28. 28
    Derf says:

    Geez this doesn’t look good.

    How is Cole going to save face over this embarassment. What embarassment you may ask. Permit me to remind you.

    Wrong way Cole gets it…WRONG…as usual.

  29. 29
    Derf says:

    Geez this doezzzzzzzzzzzzz…………..

  30. 30


    If we’re gonna play this game…


  31. 31
    Comrade Mary says:

    Game on? Hot diggity!

    From power pop to noodly fusion.

  32. 32
    Cliff in NH says:

    I was in a cheesy Japanese music video.

    It was LoL’s all day.

  33. 33
    Bago says:

    As long as I get the toast clap power at some point in my life, I can die happily.

  34. 34
    Yutsano says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: Hmm..go evil? Or go slightly bizarre? Decisions decisions.

  35. 35
    A Humble Lurker says:

    Hey, it’s the clappy eyeball toast girl! I’ve seen her around in gifs and things.

    And Miku-chan! Yay! That video is actually pretty different from what she’s usually in. More often it’s really cute, sugary stuff. But every once and a while some robotic dystopian future music video gets in there. I just wish she were singing more. (Or at all. I can’t actually tell if she’s singing in that video.)

  36. 36
    John Weiss says:

    @Derf: Why are you so down on JC? He seems like a straight-up fellow to me. After all, he loves his doggies.

  37. 37


    Decisions decisions.

    Nice. For some reason I’m coming back with this, which I’m squeezing in under the Tangential Ethnicity of Vocalist bylaws of 1954.

  38. 38
    Yutsano says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: We can also head off in completely different directions if we so choose. Though this has me craving a pina colada.

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    The uploader has not made this video available in your country.


  39. 39
    Comrade Mary says:

    ARGH! Those last two videos won’t show in Canuckistan! Hints?

  40. 40
    owlbear1 says:

    Fiddle-Faddle and Macaroni & Cheese anyone?

  41. 41

    @Comrade Mary:

    I edited mine to link to a different (live) performance which should work (or maybe not, let’s see).

  42. 42
    Yutsano says:

    @Comrade Mary: Let me try an end run here. Not the exact video I put up but at least the song.

  43. 43


    head off in completely different directions

    I don’t like you.

  44. 44
  45. 45
    Yutsano says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: Don’t you try to out-Eurovision me there woman.

    (Victor/Victoria has nothing on the Israelis.)

  46. 46


    Distracted. Making three cheese quiche with bacon, onion and silverbeet.

    Hee. Is Dana the best you got, sugarlips?

  47. 47
    Cliff in NH says:

    Wow its already 4:15!?


  48. 48
  49. 49
    Cliff in NH says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    How about a beef hotlink sausage, videlia onion and tomato pizza? (with garlic)

    It’ll be up some time in the next 24… I think…

    With This six day old dough (it’s Yummy)

  50. 50

    @Cliff in NH:

    You sound like a man after my own heart. There is little that cannot be improved by the addition of sausage.

  51. 51
    Cacti says:

    I just found out my Grandma passed away.


  52. 52
    hamletta says:

    @Cliff in NH: I was in a movie written by Bret Michaels.

  53. 53
    Cliff in NH says:

    Hopefully I’ll be eating it in the next 12 hours or less..

    Now I must decide whether to cash out and sleep a few hours or brew coffee and hope profits become bigger profits.

    hmmm, cash or coffee?

  54. 54
    hamletta says:

    @Cacti: I’m sorry, honey.

  55. 55
    Cliff in NH says:


    I’m sad =( here is a flower, I miss my gram too.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    piratedan says:

    doggone it! Here I was hopin this would devolve into classic anime theme songs and someone has hijacked a thread subtitled Hot Japanese Girls into music video roulette from Eurovision’s past

    so I guess I’ll have see if anyone else ever jonesed to a couple of these hyperactive manic goodies:

    sighs… thank the powers that be for cheesy anime goodness and the Japanese twisted take on our own Pop Culture

  58. 58
    Arclite says:

    God, even by talentless vapid Jpop standards, Ponponpon is awful. At least Tokyo Jihen has a modicum of talent.

    Japan isn’t a total wasteland though. For a more authentic Japanese rock experience I point you to the Blue Hearts.

    Which reminds me: If you haven’t seen the movie Linda Linda, it’s really a great story.

  59. 59
    Arclite says:

    @Sarah Proud and Tall: Yeesh, now we’re really getting off track…

  60. 60


    Yeesh, now we’re really getting off track…

    I know. Terrifying isn’t it. The Dutch I have met seem to treat it as one of those dark national secrets about which one does not speak.

  61. 61
    Arclite says:

    I might as well post a couple more reasonable Japanese bands.

    Here’s Flow. They’re tight with a hard pop sense. If you like this song, also check out their song Remember.

    The Uluful’s had a huge hit 15 or so years ago with Banzai.
    It’s almost the perfect rock pop song. However, I actually prefer their more humorous songs like Osaka Strut and Dame na Mono wa Dame!

  62. 62


    Here I was hopin this would devolve into classic anime theme songs and someone has hijacked a thread subtitled Hot Japanese Girls into music video roulette from Eurovision’s past

    Well then hijack it back from them immediately! Bastards.

    ETA: Jesus. Now you’ve got me clicking on related videos. I may be some time.

    EATA: The world is a very strange place full of things I do not understand (and may not wish to understand).

  63. 63
    Shlemizel - was Alwhite says:

    @Comrade Kevin:

    I just assume derf is about 12 years old or suffering from some memory disorder that prevents him from being aware of all the groovie outcomes of American military adventurism & how the end results are always so neat, tidy and double plus good.

  64. 64
    jane from hell says:

    The first two videos (at the top) share the same rhythm, I’d love to hear them synced up.

  65. 65
    Steve M. says:

    Well, this will counteract the sugar high. It’s not really full-on punk, but it rocks, and the singer is (in a much subtler way) still rather kawaii….

  66. 66
    M-Pop says:

    Can we have J-Pop threads forever and ever, Ms. Sarah Proud and Tall? Arigato gozaimas!

  67. 67
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steve M.: Okay, this I liked.

  68. 68
    Jay in Oregon says:


    It terrifies me that you found that machine muzik clip on YouTube. Especially since I’ve seen it before…

  69. 69
    DKF says:

    That girl has some seriously psychedelic flatulence at about 1:29.

  70. 70
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @eemom: No surgery. Maybe you’re thinking of Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony. Us Unitarian Jihadists are everywhere.

  71. 71
    daveX99 says:

    Regarding that first video, I just have to say that Pee Wee’s Playhouse has become really weird since Paul Reubens left.

  72. 72
  73. 73
    The Other Chuck says:

    I’m waiting for a katamari to roll up that whole house…

  74. 74
    The Worst Person In the World says:

    First vid is complete awesomeness.

  75. 75
    Anoniminous says:

    Nothing says “eating marshmallow while bathing in fairy floss inside a sugar house” like a cross-eyed Snuggle Bunny song!

    In Swedish to immerse the viewer in the full Euro-Trash experience.

    (Jag är så kär! = I’m so in love)

  76. 76
    Johnny Coelacanth says:

    My favorite bit of J-Pop. Or is it J-Rock? Either way, Puffy Ami Yumi are adorable. The guitar riff is pretty sweet, too.

  77. 77
    Paul Ryan's Dirty Sockpuppet says:

    Thanks Sarah for spreading the glory of PONPONPON. Sure it’s vapid but I liked it. Some days I’m very sorry I never learned much Japanese but there’s a silver lining. It lets me enjoy empty candy-coated pop from time to time without getting distracted by what’s certain to be rather horrid lyrics.

    On a more serious note about Japanese music, School Food Punishment is some of the most brain-pissingly beautiful music I’ve ever heard.

  78. 78
    Beldar says:

    Sweet Jeebus, she farted out colorful streamers at the 1:29 mark…

    Yes, I actually ran that part again just to make sure I wasn’t just seeing things.

    This video strikes me as a musical take on Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show, on crack…

  79. 79
    Paul in KY says:

    @Cacti: Very sorry. My condolences to you & your family.

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