This is the worst sort of shameless nutpicking — linking to anything at American Thinker is nutpicking and this is just a comment — but it made me laugh:
The forests will sing, the oceans will cry
The eagles will soar through every sky
Using the Constitution, the tyrants we will assail
The Tea Party’s battle-call will wail
Taking Washington with flag in hand
Claiming back our rights and our cherished land
So one day, everyone will share
The hidden words, of Reagan’s Prayer…
(link added in edit)
Bill White
Somehow This reminds me of Faulkner’s reflections on Pickett’s Charge.
arguingwithsignposts
First person who links to “Let the Eagle Soar” gets it, understand?
jibeaux
Get Ashcroft a microphone, a copy of those lyrics, and a statue with her boobies covered up, STAT! I have got to hear that one.
BGinCHI
Someone with a big op-ed platform needs to go there:
these people are fucking Nazis. Does anyone want to argue that they aren’t capable of killing people they don’t agree with or find sub-human?
The past is prologue.
MacsenMifune
They’re missing the three things Reagan really cared about, jelly beans, alien invaders, and psychics. Isn’t conservatism already militant?
catclub
Leaders are like eagles.
We don’t have too many of either around here.
TooManyJens
Now I have “Mary’s Prayer” in my head.
What I wouldn’t give to be, when I was Reagan’s Prayer…
Crashman
I just can’t get over it, but how exactly is an ocean supposed to cry? #metaphorfail
Hill Dweller
The real Reagan, not the revisionists’ version, ushered in the era of huge peacetime deficits and raised the debt ceiling 18 times.
Ash Can
OK, yes, it’s silly. But I’m not laughing. Especially nowadays, I have no stomach or patience whatsoever for calls for “militant conservatism.” None.
These people embody not just everything that’s wrong with this nation, they embody everything that’s wrong with humankind itself.
catclub
Bill White @ 1
Wow. A southerner who could look reality in the eye.
And then you think of all the not 14 but 57 year old southern boys, who keep re-imagining that same 14 year old’s fantasy, in spite of their knowledge of reality.
Surly Duff
Reagan’s prayer had hidden words? What were they, “Please let the rubes ignore my senility? Where I am and whose house is this?”
fasteddie9318
Wow, so that’s what it feels like to have a seizure and throw up in your mouth at the same time. Interesting.
catclub
Crashman @ 8 Salty tears, I presume.
JamieB
“So one day, everyone will share
The hidden words, of Reagan’s Prayer…”
“Can you hear me, Lord? Are you there?
I want to complete Dragon’s Lair.”
Samara Morgan
euwwwww
pure unadulterated bathos.
but it would be better with some jeebus additive…hmm
Han's Big Snark Solo
I edited it slightly for clarity.
scav
@Crashman: Well, I can almost understand why (certainly not how) the oceans are crying because they’re about to be filled with a bellyfull of BP’s finest: I’m more worried about the tree’s singing because those suckers are going down too in this brave new world (how’s a little dodgy here too, only at least I’ve seen ents for a running start).
ETA: c’est á dire: #logicfail too.
Raven (formerly stuckinred)
Randall Jarrell
The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner
From my mother’s sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose.
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
Isn’t poetry all elitist and kweer and junk?
What about this?
Jewish Steel
…So one day, everyone will share
The hidden words, of Reagan’s Prayer…The story of how I became the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
gypsy howell
This “Reagan’s Prayer”?
Steal from the middle class
And give to the rich
Start illegal wars
Ain’t life a bitch?
arguingwithsignposts
I think The Hollow Men is more descriptive of the Tea Party movement, personally.
arguingwithsignposts
@gypsy howell: I think this Reagan’s Prayer:
fasteddie9318
I prefer that dude’s earlier work:
scav
@arguingwithsignposts: well, Hollow men, headpiece stuffed with straw but looking at some many of them, it’s really more the Doughnut Men at times.
Do-Not Men. Go Rolling along.
For it’s Hi Hi Hee in the mighty Applebees,
Call out our numbers loud and strong
Five, Seven, Three!
aisce
pfft, philistines and nonbelievers, all of you.
the first ecumenical council of the jacksonville airport waffle house put a lot of work into crafting reagan’s prayer. and all its hidden words.
it is a spiritual and patriotic triumph that will endure for millennia. thou shalt not mock it.
Southern Beale
GAH.
Has Reagan been canonized yet? Or would that be a no-no since Catholics worship the pope instead of Jesus?
Southern Beale
Meanwhile, Federal judge says Orly Taitz is “displaying her own stupidity”…
Davis X. Machina
This is something of a movement-wide problem…
To sing the Horst-Wessel-Lied, you need to know at least a little German — and real Murkans are aggressive monoglots.
“Tomorrow Belongs To Me” from Cabaret is good, but you know who likes show tunes….
Han's Big Snark Solo
What would a “Teabaggers Prayer” contain?
1) Dear lord, please let my sister grow up pretty, she’s gonna be my bride.
2) Dear lord, please make sure Rush doesn’t overdose. We need his wisdom.
3) Dear lord, please send Obama and the blacks back to Africa.
4) Dear lord, please create land-sharks with lazer beams on their heads to patrol the Mexican borders.
5) Dear lord, I know Ann Coulter has man-hands and an adam apple, but please let him be a her.
6) Dear lord, please make Rick Perry run for President. The “Wide Stance” Republicans deserve representation also too.
7) Dear lord, please stop sending Michelle Bachman migraines.
…
Libby
Meanwhile, pix fresh off The Twitter. Big TP anti-Boehner bill rally in DC right now: RT @daveweigel: Louie Gohmert addresses the crowd.
slag
@Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen:
Ouch! That was just wrong. I kept thinking that guy was Weird Al until, at some point, I finally realized that the punchline was never coming.
Montysano
If’s only a matter of time before DougJ starts posting Free Republic comment sections in their entirety. We may have to stage an intervention.
fasteddie9318
Note in that picture that media outnumber attendees by about 15-1, and then try to figure out why the hell there’s any media there at all. Pro tip: dial 9-1-1 on your cell phone first, so that when the stroke hits you only have to press the call button.
Butch
I made the mistake of actually clicking on that link. I didn’t realize it would whisk me into an alternate and ugly universe.
cleek
So one day, everyone will share
The hidden words, of Reagan’s Prayer…
“Deficits don’t matter”, to all, he proved
And by himself, the wall, he moved.
jwb
Libby: Awesome. Wingnut math makes that “crowd” into millions easily.
Davis X. Machina
@Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen: I’m generally a Hugo-Black-style first Amendment absolutist, but now on the strength of that video I’m reconsidering my position. There’s a kind of obscenity which dear departed Justice Potter Stewart couldn’t even imagine.
TooManyJens
@Libby: That’s a definition of “big” with which I was previously unfamiliar.
tbogg
Needs moar ‘Nantucket’ and ‘fuck it’….
Tuttle
I knew that they think the metric system is a communist plot, but until this moment I did not know that applied to poetic meter as well.
fasteddie9318
It’s actually a beautiful universe, in a way. Tax cuts solve everything. The more money rich people make the better off everybody is. They’re always right and everybody else is always wrong. As long as you say a few nice words about Jeebus you can be a complete asshole your entire life and still live in eternal paradise when you die, which, by the way, we’re trying to make happen as soon as possible. The only serious drawback is that their universe is a complete fantasy.
Ryan S
Ahh yes, this must be the start of “The Third Reagan Riech”.
Pete A,
I thought the hidden words of Reagan’s prayer were:
“Fuck the poor people”
keith
Anyone else getting the impression with the headlines today that the GOP is starting to implode? Silly et al predicted it when they became more rightwing after losing but I really didn’t think it would actually happen.
arguingwithsignposts
@ODDJ at top: (link added in edit)
Damn you, DougJ. Damn you to hell!
steviez314
How can I resist:
The forests have burned, the oceans have risen
The eagles cry for us if you’ll only listen
Using the Constitution, which we haven’t read
But we’re sure it says that the gays cannot wed
Taking Washington with our mobility scooters
We’ll shut down NPR and then visit Hooters
So one day, everyone will share
The hidden words, of Reagan’s…err, what was I saying?
Ash Can
@fasteddie9318: As far as I could tell from that photo, there were no attendees other than media.
Poopyman
@fasteddie9318:
Actually, it looks more like 16:0. At least 6 news video rigs. It’ll be interesting to see how much airtime Gomer gets.
fasteddie9318
Weigl had some other pic of what I assume was the same “rally” involving a dude dressed in a Captain America outfit. It’s possible that Fox has officially changed its dress code for its reporters, but I’m inclined to believe that he was an attendee.
FlipYrWhig
You know, the thing about poetry is that it’s not just supposed to _rhyme_, it’s supposed to have a consistent or at least patterned _meter_. The syllable counts are flailing all over the place, not by design but because the writer has no idea what he’s doing. As someone who teaches poetry scansion, that offends me deeply.
Libby
Sorry. Got distracted. Weigel has other pix. There are actually eleventy million* TPs. They’re all hanging out in the shade.
(*Malkin math)
Libby
@toomanyjens: Big as measured by Malkin math.
celticdragonchick
The forests will burn, the oceans will rise
The Eagle will choke in polluted skies
meh…I just noticed steviez314 beat me to the punch. :)
ed drone
@28
No, Reagan’s dead, and cannonization would be a waste, so let’s aim the cannons at Boehner & Cantor, or maybe Rush’s studio during his show.
Ed
shortstop
Haven’t read the thread, so perhaps someone’s already said this, but why does Republican-crafted poetry never freaking scan?
Omnes Omnibus
@ shortstop:
You would think they would be opposed to free verse.
The Moar You Know
Congress is caving in to twenty people? What the fuck is this fraud that’s been perpetrated on us?
scav
@shortstop: Their math doesn’t add up and you expect them to count syllables competently? And let us not venture too near the swamp of simple language skills for there be salads.
ETA: @Omnes Omnibus: heh.
arguingwithsignposts
@fasteddie9318: Worst. Captain America. Evah.
Protip: Sweatpants do not a superhero costume make.
Omnes Omnibus
@ arguingwithsignposts: Couchpotato Man begs to differ and, while you are up, could you get him a sandwich? Roast beef with mustard would be nice.
Davis X. Machina
@The Moar You Know: “This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”
Liberty/Valance 2012!
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
And they’re all disguised as squirrels and pigeons for some super secrety TPer reason.
ed drone
“Counting” is just one of the math skills they lack,
And poetry’s just another of life’s thrills they hack.
Believers in myth, factual grounding’s not needed,
As long as a Reaganesque aphorism’s heeded.
Blind to Truth, Justice, and the American way,
They’re who’s now driving the bus, so they say.
Tell them they’re wrong, and that disaster is near,
And they’ll sneeringly call you a merchant of fear.
Who needs them?
Ed
catclub
“They’re who’s driving the bus, so they say.”
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grand-dad,
not screaming in terror like his passengers.
gnomedad
@TooManyJens;
Hitchhiker reference FTW!
@DougJ:
I don’t think so … this is exactly the sort of thing that’s going to turn up in email as the awesomest thing evah, and haha, this’ll sure piss off the liberals.
Mike G
That’s some North-Korean-level sycophancy right there.
From a subspecies that claim to be all about ‘freedom’ and ‘independence’ they sure do embrace the cringing authoritarian-follower mindset, and witless bad art, of a peasant living under totalitarianism.
I’m waiting for the Teatards to declare Fictional Reagan the Eternal President of the US, like Kim il Sung is for NK.
shortstop
scav:
I approve of what you did there.
Hell, this whole thread is hilarious. And I needed the laughs.
shortstop
crashman:
I think this is the new winger talking point explaining rising seas. Global warming their ass. This is about sorrow de mer.
Dee Loralei
This thread is so full of win. I love you guys, muchly!
quannlace
Wow, these people really are sullen, deluded teenagers. Including the bad poetry.
FlipYrWhig
Why are the forests happy but the oceans sad, and why are there multiple skies? This is some Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds shit. Picture yourself on a boat on a crying ocean, with tangerine happy-trees and several marmalade skies.
Wait a minute… I think that’s the ecosystem of the Boehner Homeworld.
Cris (without an H)
@gypsy howell
link added for unrelated pop-culture awesomeness
Comrade Mary
I’m a lapsed Catholic. Let me through.
brantl
The Tea Party’s battle-call will wail….. and wail, and wail some goddamn more….