David Duke is thinking about maybe sort of running for president. He’s “exploring” the option.
Good for him, I say! It’s about time a Serious Racist decided to make a run for the presidency:
A former grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, member of the Louisiana House of Representatives and Republican executive-committee chairman in his district until 2000, Duke has a significant following online. His videos go viral. This month, he’s launching a tour of 25 states to explore how much support he can garner for a potential presidential bid. He hasn’t considered running for serious office since the early ’90s, when he won nearly 40 percent of the vote in his bid for Louisiana governor. But like many “white civil rights advocates,” as he describes himself to The Daily Beast, 2012 is already shaping up to be a pivotal year.
Former (and current) Neo Nazis, Ku Klux Klan members, neo-Confederates, and other representatives of the many wings of the “white nationalist” movement are starting to file paperwork and print campaign literature for offices large and small, pointing to rising unemployment, four years with an African-American president, and rampant illegal immigration as part of a growing mound of evidence that white people need to take a stand.
Duke says that “thousands of Tea Party activists have urged him to run for President,” so who is he to deny his fans the joy of seeing him extol the virtues of segregation right to that stupid Kenyan Usurper’s face?
Here’s a video Duke made last year in which he lays out his platform:
As President, I will give you better government than you deserve, because you have let the media lie to you and manipulate you, and you’ve let the politicians lie to you, and you’ve let the government take away your basic American rights. [Shorter: You assholes let that niggra into office, so I’m going to fix it even though you don’t deserve it. -ed.] Too many of you have cared more about the ball game than your heritage [wink wink. -ed.] and your freedom. The media will tell you that you can’t trust me because of my past. Well, I think my past is one of the reason you should support me because my past shows that I am a man who says what he believes, who is willing to be unpopular to tell what he believes to be the whole truth. [He is totes willing to be unpopular. Racism is totes unpopz. -ed.] I’ve certainly evolved since my younger days [like Obama, mirite? -ed.1], as did, by the way Senator Robert Byrd who was in the same organization I was in over thirty-three years ago. Byrd became one of the fiercest opponents of our catastrophic and anti-American wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, as have I. And the late Robert Byrd is now respected, and thankfully in some quarters I’m finally earning some respect as well. [Not really, buddy. Those quarters that are finally respecting you are the same damn quarters that respected you before. It’s just that those quarters are now a relevant political party. -ed.]
His platform is about what you would expect from a libertarian: immigration is evil, bring the troops home, stop the banksters, fair trade not free trade, abolish racism and sexism and go with a strictly merit-based system (wink, wink), abolish taxes, reform campaign finance, protect the First, Second, and Tenth Amendment (and fuck the rest of the amendments with their hippie bullshit), and no more activist judges.
That about sums up the total of what David Duke is about! That’s the David Duke platform! Sounds pretty ok, huh? Except for the balls-out white supremacy, misogyny, and anti-semitism.
You see, he knows that Democrats love a redemption song; that’s why he mentions Robert Byrd. Without getting into my personal feelings about Robert Byrd’s racial awakening, it is beyond dispute that Byrd publicly renounced his racist views, stating that joining the KKK was the biggest mistake he ever made. Duke, on the other hand, held a fundraiser in 2007 to raise money for an updated edition of his 1998 book My Awakening: A Path to Racial Understanding in 1998 (reviewed here by the Anti-Defamation League), in which he says the following:
We (Whites) desire to live in our own neighborhoods, go to our own schools, work in our own cities and towns, and ultimately live as one extended family in our own nation. We shall end the racial genocide of integration. We shall work for the eventual establishment of a separate homeland for African Americans, so each race will be free to pursue its own destiny without racial conflicts and ill will.
I know, I know. Why bother, right? Why try to understand or explain crazy. Crazy just is.
As such, and in the spirit of crazy, I hope Duke wins the Republican primary. He’ll give that Hawa-Indo-Kenyan a run for his money. Duke is anti-war! That’s sure to play well with the crowd, right? I bet he’ll let people smoke they weed, too! Plus, nothing would be better than watching a presidential debate between Obama and David Fucking Duke — except watching a presidential debate between Barack Obama and Clayton Bigsby.
UPDATE: David Duke’s Wikipedia entry is worth a gander. I love how it talks about how he brought equality to the KKK by letting women join. What a pioneer!
1 I tried to help it, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
[via The Daily Beast]