Someone Needs a Hug

Apparently, I’ve really upset Radley this time, and this time I didn’t even have to mention the glibertarians at Reason. My failure to mention them was apparently insult enough!

Remember that scene in Die Hard when one of the Germans was screaming furiously, and Bonnie Bedelia smirked and said that McClane has to be alive, because no one else can make people that angry? I’m not exactly sure what I did, but someone needs to be burped, changed, and powdered.

I do love our relationship, though. I say nice things about Radley, and he out of the blue explodes at the mere thought of me.

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112 replies
  1. 1
    crybaby peepants says:

    Burped, Changed, and Powdered is my favorite Cannibabby Corpse song.

  2. 2
    max hats says:

    Sorry Radley, but John’s right. Your former colleagues at Reason are, in fact, whores.

    Sidenote: some of the commentators over there now have it in their heads that John Cole and Balloon Juice are objectively pro-Prison Rape. It’s pretty much made my day. But their logic is sound. If John Cole wasn’t a prison rape apologist, then the entire outburst doesn’t make any sense. And Radley would never completely lose his shit over nothing. Therefore, this must be because Balloon Juice is the nation’s number one blog for prison rape apologia.

  3. 3
    Roger Moore says:

    My failure to mention them was apparently insult enough!

    Not your failure to mention them (ETA: since they admit you did mention them), your failure to praise them sufficiently for something they wrote. Meanwhile, the main thrust of your rant post, that the people the libertarians actually wind up supporting and voting for have a terrible record on the civil liberties issues they’re so proud of, goes conveniently unmentioned.

  4. 4
    Shinobi says:

    How could you not have told us about reason’s Criminal Injustice issue in a timely manner. How will anyone know what is going on at reason, if you don’t post it here at balloon juice.

  5. 5
    cynickal says:

    I say nice things about Radley

    You should really stop that.
    There’s no reason to, so why twist yourself in knots to do so?

  6. 6
    Silver says:

    Radley’s fantastic work at Reason is like BP’s green bullshit. It puts a nice face on a dirty business.

  7. 7
    Jewish Steel says:

    Hey, Boo Radley! John practically gushes about you. Gushes in a Cole sort of way, that is. Lord, you are the worst sort of teenage girlfriend.

    But hey, Cole did at least, sort of, in a roundabout way, in the course of writing another post attacking libertarians…

    More pointing and laughing than attacking, dog. But whatevs.

    Ou sont les Derfs d’antan?

  8. 8
    James Hare says:

    Even his own commenters are wondering at the obsession.

  9. 9
    Marc says:

    Well, if you don’t like being identified as a bootlicker and apologist for the ruling class…

    Don’t work for an organization funded by plutocrats, and staffed by bootlickers and apologists for the ruling class. And don’t spend all of your time defending said apologists.

  10. 10
    JonF says:

    I’m sure that the oven glove handjob that McMegan gave him calmed him down.

  11. 11
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Thank god for their attention to criminal injustice. Now if we can only figure out how voting for Republicans solves it..

  12. 12
    Duckest Fuckingway: Ask not for whom the Duck Fucks. . . says:

    Nope, sorry, the only part of Die Hard that I remember is the one where the German terrorist doesn’t understand a simple phrase . . . in German.

  13. 13
    Citizen Alan says:

    Apparently, failing to acknowledge that Reason has devoted an entire issue to the failings of our criminal justice system rises to the level of “hate propaganda.” I was actually giggling through most of the comments. Honestly, based on my own personal interactions with self-described libertarians, my suspicion is that the only reason Balko et al are really concerned about police abuses is that they suspect that they or someone close to them might someday be subjected to police abuses (most likely in connection with a drug crime). If libertarians as a movement were collectively convinced that only the lower classes would be subjected to such offenses, I think they would cease completely to care about the issue, just as they actively support the destruction of the social safety net because they are convinced that neither they nor any loved ones will ever depend on some entitlement to avoid having to subsist on cat food.

  14. 14
    John Cole says:

    What is even funnier is that apparently my sin is not reading Reason magazine, which has a circulation of 60k. Apparently I share my guilt with 310,240,000 other Americans.

  15. 15
    Binky says:

    Most people aren’t so worried about prison rape WHEN THEY CAN’T GET A FUCKING JOB, THEIR KIDS ARE HUNGRY, AND THE REPUBLICANS ARE THREATENING TO TAKE MEDICARE AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS. It’s like being on the Titanic while it sinks and complaining about the tenderness of the veal.

  16. 16
    kdaug says:

    He happen to mention that, per libertarian shibboleth, private prisons should be free of government interference?

  17. 17
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @maxhats

    Therefore, this must be because Balloon Juice is the nation’s number one blog for prison rape apologia.

    Just shows you that libertarians aren’t as well-educated as they think they are. Balloon Juice is the nation’s number one blog for kitten skull fucking.

  18. 18
    bryanD says:

    This feud sucks. Bring back Franken-Lowry.

  19. 19
    Han's Solo says:

    What is even funnier is that apparently my sin is not reading Reason magazine, which has a circulation of 60k.

    I’m sure if he could he would force you to read it. It’s the libertarian thing to do, dontcha know.

  20. 20
    Studly Pantload, a full-service troll says:

    What, no one has said this, yet?

    Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker!

  21. 21
    geg6 says:

    Then, if I were you, John, I’d quit saying nice things about him. He’s obviously the biggest asshole at Reason, if for no other reason than he seems to shit on those who try to excuse his idiocy (on everything other than police power). The Fonzi of Freedumb isn’t even that assholish and you bash him better than anyone in the universe.

    That said, there are days when I hate all political news, pundits, and bloggers (you excepted, always). Today was one of those days. Until I read the Rude Dude, that is. He made my day today:

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.com.....o-rep.html

    I needed a cigarette after that one.

  22. 22
    Roger Moore says:

    @John Cole:

    No, John, your sin is not failing to read Reason Magazine. Your sin is paying attention to everything that comes out of Reason Magazine instead of just the parts they know you’re likely to agree with. I’ll believe that the Reasonoids care as much about civil liberties as they do about economic liberties when they advocate for a civil liberties candidate over an economic liberties candidate. IOW, the next time Satan gets into a snowball fight with Judas.

  23. 23
    jl says:

    This is either Jr H locker room mean girls stuff that is way over my silly little head, or a nice guerrilla marketing effort by Balko.

    Like many blog tiffs and pushy fights, way out of my league.

    The post in question by the poor long suffering, unappreciated, nay, positively persecuted, Cole was June 17. As far as I can figure from the Reason Jully issue web page source code, the mag issue went up today, Wed (edit, sorry, Tuesday) June 28, and Cole (that miserable disingenuous very bad person) has not mentioned it yet.

    Do I have that right?

    Whatever, looks like some interesting articles in the July issue. I will actually read a couple of them. To be honest, it is still Reason, so won’t believe them particularly unless the references check out.

    I did look through the columns, which look thrown together at the last minute, with quite a bit of, perhaps inadvertent, agnatology in them.

  24. 24
    LM says:

    Oh no–I didn’t realize till I read the comments at Reason that Balloon Juice “attracts an amen choir of equally orthodox followers.” (You should tell ABL that sometimes it’s hard to hear the amen choir over everybody yelling.) I’d love to know more about our shared orthodoxy. Do we get paid holidays?

  25. 25
    Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century) says:

    I don’t like the word “whores”. “Rent Boy” is more accurate.

  26. 26
    Ash Can says:

    Taking a quick glance at the temper tantrum at the link, it’s evident that Radley has an extremely high regard for his publication, which is fine, except it’s combined with an incredibly thin skin, which makes me think that just maybe, deep down, he has a nagging feeling that his publication is somehow inferior to others, and is worried about circulation issues. It’s also evident that he’s in very deep denial about the current state of libertarians and libertarianism.

  27. 27
    General Stuck says:

    The problem with libertarian philosophy, is they don’t allow for help in applying the butthurt balm due to all that individualist free thinker mumbo jumbo. So it gets worse until Radley Balko writes an unhinged cry for help, addressed to some dude on the internet that half the time doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind with his politics.

    It is all very entertaining, until a bunch of tea tard libertarian types get in power and start fiddling with the doomsday debt ceiling machine. Kind of takes all the funny out of it all.

    Nothing worse than a libertarian having a spiritual awakening to the vacuous reality of their belief system – bereft of humanity, as it is

    You can do it Radley, I know you can. Just click your heels three times and yer out of Oz and back in Kansas.

  28. 28
    different church-lady says:

    Man, John, you’ve raised crawlspacing to some kind of artform.

    I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of in the end, but it’s pretty damn impressive.

  29. 29
    geg6 says:

    I don’t like the word “whores”. “Rent Boy” is more accurate.

    We don’t always agree, MK, but on this…you nailed it.

  30. 30
    Jewish Steel says:

    Crawlspacing? What’s that?

  31. 31
    Mark D says:

    Binky beat me to it at comment #15 — the reason more Americans don’t give a shit about Reason is because, by their reasoning, having a job, some sort of basic health coverage, food, shelter, and a whole host of other things are more reasonable concerns.

    Now, as soon as we have an economy in which one out of five working-age Americans aren’t under- or unemployed … a health care system in which even people with insurance don’t have to worry about going bankrupt due to a sickness they can’t control … a food supply that is plentiful, safe, and good for the long-term health of the planet … and a housing market in which cramdown is allowed for primary residences … THEN perhaps most folks will start listing “prison rape” as one of their top concerns.

    Besides, the best way to stop it would be to convince the private, for-profit prison industry that rape is bad for business. I’d guarandamntee it’d become a national priority all of a sudden …

  32. 32
    Martin says:

    Obvious first commandment violation:

    Libertarianism is the Lord your God, you shall have no other gods before me.

    That blogroll over there on the right is marinating in blasphemy.

  33. 33
    Dr. Loveless says:

    I have a few libertarian acquaintances like this. On the whole, they’re decent people and ideologically consistent, but they totally lose their shit when you point out how whorish glibertarian pundits are. “THEY’RE NOT REAL LIBERTARIANS! A REAL LIBERTARIAN WOULD …” Like their Marxist counterparts, they are masters of the No True Scotsman defense.

  34. 34
    John Cole says:

    I have no idea what crawlspacing is…

  35. 35
    different church-lady says:

    @ Jewish steel (#30)

    Crawlspace

    krawl-speys

    – noun

    1. A concept that refuses to broadly meme no matter how hard I try.

    2. The area in your head where thoughts of a single person constantly reside.

    Crawlspacing

    – verb

    1. To irritate a person to such a degree that the said person becomes obsessed with the irritant.

  36. 36
    tbogg says:

    Aren’t they about due for another fund raiser because the invisible hand of the free market just isn’t that into them?

  37. 37
    Studly Pantload, a full-service troll says:

    I think this is what is being referred to by “crawlspacing.”

    Not that this makes DC-L’s post make that much more sense…

  38. 38
    jl says:

    @31 Mark D, and @15 Binky,

    thanks, your comments clarified something that vaguely and dimly bothered me. Some of the outrage I saw in the columns and a couple of he first paragraphs of the articles seems a bit misplaced. It was the supposedly libertarian policies, that often seem only corporatist hackery to me, that produced a fearful and resentful population that is so bitter and concerned about their prospects that they find it hard to give a hoot about lowlifes jailed on doubtful drug charges, or raped in prison, or suspected undocumented immigrants rounded up, charged, tried convicted and sentenced summarily through the very careful and respectful (irony alert) US immigration authorities.

    Some of the articles in the July issue look worth checking out. But, maybe the Reason crowd needs a time out, and has some careful thinking things through to do.

    BTW, I meant to type

    “Cole (that miserable disingenuous very bad NO GOOD person)”

    My apologies to Balko.

  39. 39
    jl says:

    @35

    Still don’t get it.

    But, as I said, a lot of this blog stuff is over my silly little head.

    Edit: if means the very very awful and malicious Cole crawlspaces others, then I can see it.

  40. 40
    different church-lady says:

    @ JC @ 34: you’re a natural, dude, completely pure. That’s probably why you’re so good at it — no premeditation.

  41. 41
    Studly Pantload, a full-service troll says:

    Crawlspacing

    – verb

    1. To irritate a person to such a degree that the said person becomes obsessed with the irritant.

    OK, that makes a tad more sense. But that doesn’t make the irritator the “artist,” unless you’re saying Cole is so deft in his avoidance of mentioning special editions of Reason that — naw, it don’t make no sense.

    Carry on, y’all.

  42. 42
    srv says:

    crawlspacing

    Maybe a John Wayne reference.

  43. 43
    Carlo says:

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people here, including John, are dismissing the issue of prison rape as unimportant. Prison rape is RAPE, people! Just like poverty and inadequate access to health care, rape of any kind is a HORRIBLE assault on human dignity. How could you call yourselves liberal? Kudos to Reason for highlighting this issue.

  44. 44
    trollhattan says:

    Aount me among those who miss Cole’s posts about Radley leaving his crate in the middle of the night to shit on the carpet. Also, too, if you’re a real libertarian, shouldn’t you steal Reason, not subscribe to it?

  45. 45
    different church-lady says:

    @ 41: I’m just saying the dude’s got mad skilz.

    It’s the very definition of being crawlspaced: Radley writes an article, apparently spends some percentage of his braincycles waiting for JC to react to it, and when JC doesn’t, Radley has to force the issue.

    Thus, Radley has JC “in his crawlspace” — JC is there, even when he’s not there.

  46. 46
    srv says:

    I put a link to one of your 2009 approvals of Radley over there and noted that you brought more democrats over to The Agitator than Radley ever brought open-minded libertarians over here.

    But if Radley did write 90 pages, the least you could do John is send one of your minion front-pagers over there to review it.

  47. 47
    Not!ABL says:

    This is fantastically awesome.

    (note: that was hyperbole.)

  48. 48
    Not!ABL says:

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people here, including John, are dismissing the issue of prison rape as unimportant. Prison rape is RAPE, people! Just like poverty and inadequate access to health care, rape of any kind is a HORRIBLE assault on human dignity. How could you call yourselves liberal? Kudos to Reason for highlighting this issue.

    wow.

    ::leaves room, head shaking::

  49. 49
    trollhattan says:

    @43.Carlo

    Que? I’m trying to recall it ever being mentioned here. As in ever. Like our frequent discussions of tatting or the PGA.

  50. 50
    Mark D says:

    jl at #38 —

    It was the supposedly libertarian policies, that often seem only corporatist hackery to me,

    Not just you.

    … that produced a fearful and resentful population that is so bitter and concerned about their prospects that they find it hard to give a hoot about lowlifes jailed on doubtful drug charges, or raped in prison, or suspected undocumented immigrants rounded up, charged, tried convicted and sentenced summarily through the very careful and respectful (irony alert) US immigration authorities.

    Ya know, that’s actually a great point. Kind of a Möbius Strip of ideological stupidity in which the results they want result in a whole lot of results they claim they don’t want.

    Sadly, I doubt they’ll ever manage to catch that kind of inconsistency in their thinking since, for them, their ideology can never fail; it can only be failed.

    It’s gotta be an epically pathetic way to go through life, but they seem to make it through without their heads exploding — either from internal pressure caused by dangerous levels of Teh Stoopit, or from someone implanting a blasting cap into their ear canal after getting fed up with hearing them talk and seeing them act as if their ideas are new and exciting and fresh and never been tried before and … um … okay, sorry. I’ll stop and mix in some decaf now.

  51. 51
    Roger Moore says:

    @different church-lady:

    So our Kenyan in Chief is also Crawlspacer in Chief? Because he seems to be incredibly good at getting people obsessed with him.

  52. 52
    Studly Pantload, a full-service troll says:

    Carlo @ 43

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people here, including John, are dismissing the issue of prison rape as unimportant.

    Got some cites there, pardner? Cuz that would kinda sorta help you not look like a complete knee-jerk whinewad.

  53. 53
    different church-lady says:

    @ Roger Moore #51:

    I’d say yes, except that’s pretty much the nature of the presidency and all presidents. And kings. And ex-spouses, for that matter…

  54. 54
    Skipjack says:

    I don’t know John, not that he’s being rational, but I would love to see the stemwinder you’d let off if he and a bunch of co-conspirators praised you, and routinely slammed your co-bloggers and all other liberals by extension for perceived sins of omission.

  55. 55

    Bernie Sanders released a video recently pointing out that Koch-funded PR firms like Cato have done a whole lot of work cranking out white papers and pundits who say it’s time to, say, raise the retirement age.

    Regardless of one’s views on that particular proposal, Sanders’ point about generating the appearance of widespread consensus is a really thought-provoking one.

    I think Balko does a lot of great work, for what it’s worth. His beef ought not be with people pointing out that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy, it should be with the fact that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy.

  56. 56
    Mark D says:

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people here, including John, are dismissing the issue of prison rape as unimportant. Prison rape is RAPE, people! Just like poverty and inadequate access to health care, rape of any kind is a HORRIBLE assault on human dignity. How could you call yourselves liberal? Kudos to Reason for highlighting this issue.

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people [at Reason], including [Carlo], are dismissing the issue of [animal rape] as unimportant. [Animal] rape is RAPE, people! Just like poverty and inadequate access to health care, rape of any kind is a HORRIBLE assault on [animal] dignity. How could you call yourselves [libertarian]? Kudos to [Mark D] for highlighting this [total lack of logic by Carlos, who thinks not talking about something means support of, or lack of concern for, it].

  57. 57
    srv says:

    Got some cites there

    You know, Darrell or Stormy70 were objectively pro prison rape, I guess I never realized how representative of democrats they were.

  58. 58
    Carlo says:

    @Studly #52:

    If these don’t count as dismissing prison rape, I don’t know what would.

    John:

    So yeah, Ronald Bailey writes a piece every now and then about global warming, and someone at Reason can wax eloquent about prison rape, but so what?

    Binky #15:

    Most people aren’t so worried about prison rape WHEN THEY CAN’T GET A FUCKING JOB, THEIR KIDS ARE HUNGRY, AND THE REPUBLICANS ARE THREATENING TO TAKE MEDICARE AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS. It’s like being on the Titanic while it sinks and complaining about the tenderness of the veal.

    Mark D #31:

    Now, as soon as we have an economy in which one out of five working-age Americans aren’t under- or unemployed … a health care system in which even people with insurance don’t have to worry about going bankrupt due to a sickness they can’t control … a food supply that is plentiful, safe, and good for the long-term health of the planet … and a housing market in which cramdown is allowed for primary residences … THEN perhaps most folks will start listing “prison rape” as one of their top concerns.

  59. 59
    Tsulagi says:

    My failure to mention them was apparently insult enough!

    Apparently. The whole Radley post took butthurt to another level.

  60. 60
    Warren Terra says:

    Do you suppose that Balko manages not to realize that the often-admirable, impassioned, and even thorough, if ultimately meaningless and ineffective, social-libertarian and criminal-justice rhetoric of the glibertarians are a complete fig leaf for their actual manifest agenda and proven record of accomplishment of policies that promote and reward utter greedheadedness and florid abuse of the less privileged? Or does he realize this is the case, and just not care?

    In either case, fnck him sideways.

  61. 61
    Mark D says:

    Do you suppose that Balko manages not to realize that the often-admirable, impassioned, and even thorough, if ultimately meaningless and ineffective, social-libertarian and criminal-justice rhetoric of the glibertarians are a complete fig leaf for their actual manifest agenda and proven record of accomplishment of policies that promote and reward utter greedheadedness and florid abuse of the less privileged?

    Feature, not a bug.

    (At least IMHO. Otherwise, he and so many other libertarians have to be frighteningly, clinically, historically stupid — and there’s too much “Boy, that almost sounds reasonable!” in their stuff for that to be the case for most of them.)

  62. 62
    Warren Terra says:

    @ John Cole

    What is even funnier is that apparently my sin is not reading Reason magazine, which has a circulation of 60k. Apparently I share my guilt with 310,240,000 other Americans.

    You should see if he will comp you a subscription, as a major opinion leader and widely read editorialist (of sorts) – if, of course, you trust him with your mailing address (and real name!). Although, maybe Reason has a policy of not comping subscriptions, on the grounds that people shouldn’t be moochers, or whatever the Randian term of art is.

    PS How’re the repairs to the “reply” button coming along?

  63. 63
    justinslot says:

    I think Balko does a lot of great work, for what it’s worth. His beef ought not be with people pointing out that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy, it should be with the fact that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy.

    THIS.

  64. 64
    pragmatism says:

    once a koch whore, always a kochwhore radley. running rhetorical cover for conservatives may have the following side effects: extreme rectal itch; considering mcmegtard attractive; a strident belief that the exception disproves the rule.

  65. 65
    chopper says:

    @srv:

    Maybe a John Wayne reference.

    i see what you did there.

  66. 66
    gwangung says:

    Basically, what the faux libertarians at Reason don’t realize is that the law of unintended consequences applies to their positions as well as everyone else’s. Yeah, they get their libertarian freedom, but what they also get is a whole raft of corporate hoodlums, plutocratic goons and all sorts of other bad news that they are frantically trying to deny.

  67. 67
    Roger Moore says:

    @Warren Terra:

    PS How’re the repairs to the “reply” button coming along?

    If you want a neatly formatted reply, you should try providing one yourself, moocher parasite. Galtian supermen are capable of generating their own neatly formatted reply headers without demanding that producers like John Galt Cole supply them free of charge.

  68. 68
    J.W. Hamner says:

    Balko seems really sensitive about guilt by association with the “greed is good, no taxes, and pollute as much as you want!” wing of his chosen ideological grouping… when I don’t think anyone has actually been arguing anything of the kind.

    Did I miss some post about how the prison rape is OK because the Koch brothers give money to Reason?

    I’m perfectly capable of seeing civil libertarians as generally fighting the good fight, while asserting that their buddies on the economic/climate side are greedy emotionally stunted corporate shills.

  69. 69
    Yutsano says:

    Yeah, they get their libertarian freedom, but what they also get is a whole raft of corporate hoodlums, plutocratic goons and all sorts of other bad news that they are frantically trying to deny.

    Amazing, that. It’s almost as if they’re choosing to see what they want to see!

  70. 70
    replicnt6 says:

    @Roger Moore

    If you want a neatly formatted reply, you should try providing one yourself, moocher parasite. Galtian supermen are capable of generating their own neatly formatted reply headers without demanding that producers like John Galt Cole supply them free of charge.

    FTW

  71. 71
    b-psycho says:

    Why do people here think an imbalance in political effectiveness towards policies that serve the function of the ruling class and away from policies that don’t is the problem of a particular political philosophy rather than a problem of the political system itself?

  72. 72
    fasteddie9318 says:

    I has a sad. Can the Fonzi of Freedom lend Binky one of his leather jackets to cheer him up?

  73. 73
    b-psycho says:

    I think Balko does a lot of great work, for what it’s worth. His beef ought not be with people pointing out that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy, it should be with the fact that libertarian institutions are linked up with the vast right-wing conspiracy.

    This also. Especially since if you take the talk about property rights and initiation of force seriously, rent-seeking is equivalent to robbery — which effectively means corporate capitalism is perched atop a fuckton of stolen property.

  74. 74
    jl says:

    @14 John Cole

    I dunno, he got you to flack the July issue of his rag in a headline post of the very very influential ginormously hot Balloon-Juice blog, run by the WV man of mystery, ‘John Cole’. He owes you one.

    Or, maybe Cole is part of the giant glibertarian conspiracy.

    This ‘John Cole’ should release all of his email and phone records right now! Or BJ will be mired in yet another blogger ethics scandal.

  75. 75
    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire says:

    Shorter Mark D @56: Prisoners are no better than animals, so who cares if they get raped?

  76. 76
    Mark D says:

    Dear Carlo,

    I was going to respond to your post at #58, but then I realized, “Why bother? The guy sucks at logic, and failed even more at providing some actual evidence to back up his so-called logic.”

    In fact, I should probably just go argue with the oak tree out back since it has about the same critical thinking skills as you do. The only advantage is that at least it provides shade, which is valuable.

    Sadly, the bullshit you’re shoveling doesn’t do much in the virtual world. If it were the real world, you’d have a fantastic business opportunity in the fertilizer business.

    Best of luck with your future trolling!

    Sincerely,

    Mark D’s Sanity

  77. 77
    Head Bulshytt Talker in Chief of the Temple of Libertarianism(superluminar) says:

    .
    .
    Balloonbaggers only like prison rape when President Obama asks them to pick up the soap
    .
    .

  78. 78
    Mark D says:

    Shorter Baron Jrod of Keeblershire:

    Who care what someone actually posted? It’s much better to ignore the point and just put words into their keyboard!

    I see the Galtian Flying Monkeys have arrived, ready to act as if not posting about a given topic in a way in which they approve is the EXACT SAME THING as supporting whatever it is they don’t like.

    I guess that’s what happens when folks have to consistently ignore reality because it interferes with their ideology.

  79. 79
    Mark D says:

    P.S. The reason I changed it to “animal rape” is because I thought it’d be obvious hyperbole.

    Guess I should’ve made it … I dunno … “tomato plant rape” for the slow learners/those who take things too seriously.

  80. 80
    JPL says:

    I didn’t know we were mean and hateful, also, too. Should we send emails apologizing?
    In addition is there a way to color the back ground of the emails green?

  81. 81
    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire says:

    @79 If you think I’m a Galtian Flying Monkey then you’re… well, you’re just as stupid as you seem.

    Let me make it clear: libertarians can suck my fat one. They are idiots.

    So are you. See, the difference between animal rape (or tomato plant rape) and prisoner rape is that prisoner rape is actually a serious problem. Therefore, conflating the two makes you an asshole.

    No, really, people are in fact raped by the thousands while locked in prison. It really happens out here in reality. Maybe you consider it no more important than whatever cartoon scenarios you might imagine, but that’s why you’re a scumbag piece of shit.

    P.S. Take your obvious hyperbole and fuck yourself with it. Or as you might put it, commit [self] rape.

  82. 82
    MaraMagee says:

    Well, I know he’s been pushing the “96-page special issue of Reason featuring 23 articles devoted to the many problems with the criminal justice system” like crazy (and I don’t blame him for it one bit, it’s a good and important read), so maybe he’s just run out of ideas to promote it at this point and decided some random attack on a fellow blogger that sticks up for him pretty much all the time was the way to go? Not sure why, but yay, page views?

    I have to lol at the “OMG COLE SUPPORTS PRISON RAPE!” flailing about though. Seriously, get Amanda Marcotte over there and just have her type “rape”, that’s it, just “rape” and see how quickly they piddle themselves with excitement while scrambling over each other to be the first to talk about her being “hysterical” and “hyperbolic” and “accusatory” about the subject.

  83. 83
    General Stuck says:

    I think it’s pretty disgusting that people here, including John, are dismissing the issue of prison rape as unimportant. Prison rape is RAPE, people! Just like poverty and inadequate access to health care, rape of any kind is a HORRIBLE assault on human dignity. How could you call yourselves liberal? Kudos to Reason for highlighting this issue.

    Goody! Somebody from the factory shows up to demonstrate how bullshit is made. Will there be a quiz afterwards, or at least some fart jokes?

  84. 84
    Jeffro says:

    John, the reason you drive Radley crazy is pretty obvious to me – you used to fly the right-wing/libertarian flag, until it all stopped making sense, and then you took a look at the nuts around you and decided you could no longer run with that crowd, amirite? Sounds like you used something called…’Reason’.

    Radley would love to find a way to make Glibertarianism work – he’s obviously not ready to give up his religion. But it doesn’t, and in the meantime there are perfectly happy, logically consistent heretics like yourself whose presence pushes on his inconsistent, unworkable beliefs.

    Keep up the good work!

  85. 85
    Mark D says:

    So are you. See, the difference between animal rape (or tomato plant rape) and prisoner rape is that prisoner rape is actually a serious problem. Therefore, conflating the two makes you an asshole.

    Um … wow. I’m not sure if you’re just more dense than depleted uranium, or being obtuse. Regardless, try this on for size (and if needed, maybe write it in Crayon on a Big Chief tablet, if that’s easier for you to read):

    Carlo was basically stating that because we weren’t all posting comments to the effect of “OHMYGODWESHOULDSTOPALLWE’REDOINGANDFOCUSONTHISRIGHTFUCKINGOW!” meant that we somehow support prison rape.

    I used hyperbole in an attempt to point out the flaw in that line of reasoning, showing how ridiculous it would be for me to point out that Carlo had not posted about something and, thus, must obviously support it.

    You then showed either an amazing ability to be a humorless dildo, or an inability to see something that was obvious to everyone else (since everyone else got it). Although I guess they’re not mutually exclusive.

    No, really, people are in fact raped by the thousands while locked in prison. It really happens out here in reality.

    No, really, not a single person here is disputing that fact, nor has anyone said it isn’t a problem. It really hasn’t happened out here in reality.

    Maybe you consider it no more important than whatever cartoon scenarios you might imagine, but that’s why you’re a scumbag piece of shit.

    And maybe you consider it the most pressing thing in the world — more important than millions of families having no money, no food, ho home, and/or no health care.

    You see, most Americans, while seeing prison rape as a problem, have a few more pressing concerns in their own lives. The fact you fail to understand that—or claim that those of us who place feeding, clothing, housing, and otherwise providing for our families above worrying about prison rape are “scumbag piece[s] of shit”—says a lot more about you than me (and none of it about you is good).

    This says a lot about you as well …

    P.S. Take your obvious hyperbole and fuck yourself with it. Or as you might put it, commit [self] rape.

    The fact you find rape so horrible, yet wish it on someone else simply because you disagreed with them (on the Internet!) shows that your concern is either an act, is only applied selectively, or … well, perhaps the topic hits too close to home.

    Not sure which, but it’s gotta be one of ’em …

  86. 86
    Carlo says:

    @ Mark D #85

    Carlo was basically stating that because we weren’t all posting comments to the effect of “OHMYGODWESHOULDSTOPALLWE’REDOINGANDFOCUSONTHISRIGHTFUCKINGOW!” meant that we somehow support prison rape.

    This wasn’t even remotely close to what I was stating. My point is that, when you belittle the efforts that other people make to highlight important issues, then you’re effectively belittling the importance of those issues.

  87. 87
    Marc says:

    @81: OK, here is a new concept for you.

    Let’s say that a bunch of people show up and start yelling at you about why you’re ignoring (their pet cause). Now, (their pet cause) may well be a worthy one. But in this particular case the audience in question hasn’t actually been….well, talking about it at all. Why?

    There are many worthy causes, and not everyone spends all of their time emoting appropriately about all of them.

    Some of the locals respond in some way, but that’s not the point. The point is the active idiocy of the original attack, and the small odds that anything useful might come out of it.

  88. 88
    Mark D says:

    This wasn’t even remotely close to what I was stating. My point is that, when you belittle the efforts that other people make to highlight important issues, then you’re effectively belittling the importance of those issues.

    In the most troll-like way possible.

    Listen, not a single fucking person here thinks prison rape isn’t a problem.

    What we do find a problem with is your inability to understand a fact others of us pointed out: given all the issues facing American families, prison rape ain’t one ’em. Should it be? Probably, given how horrific it is. But, quite frankly, our for-profit prison industry needs to be addressed first — it’s locking up people at insane rates for the pettiest of crimes, which leads to more prison rape.

    Stop the profiteering off of incarceration, and it’ll be much, much easier to stop the attendant issues.

    Of course, all of this ignores the fact that the folks over at Reason have fully supported — and even encouraged — the economic rape of millions of middle class families over the past 40 years or so. Once again, if they had addressed that issue, the others would be easier to handle.

  89. 89
  90. 90
    Loneoak says:

    May I suggest that:

    In Balloon Juice world, this is about as close to intellectual honesty as you’re going to get.

    be reduced to:

    Balloon Juice … is about as close to intellectual honesty as you’re going to get” -Radley Balko

    for a rotating tag line at the top?

  91. 91
    Midnight Marauder says:

    Carlo

    If these don’t count as dismissing prison rape, I don’t know what would.

    Most people aren’t so worried about prison rape WHEN THEY CAN’T GET A FUCKING JOB, THEIR KIDS ARE HUNGRY, AND THE REPUBLICANS ARE THREATENING TO TAKE MEDICARE AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS. It’s like being on the Titanic while it sinks and complaining about the tenderness of the veal.

    …wow. You actually used the above comment as an example of someone “dismissing” prison rape? Because they listed legitimate issues that are at the forefront of the American public’s mind?

    I want you read carefully, libertarians:

    This is why NO ONE takes you seriously.

  92. 92
    debit says:

    I don’t even know who this Radley guy is, but his angry tears are delicious.

  93. 93
    Carlo says:

    @Mark D #88

    What we do find a problem with is your inability to understand a fact others of us pointed out: given all the issues facing American families, prison rape ain’t one ‘em. Should it be? Probably, given how horrific it is.

    Then shouldn’t you be glad that SOMEONE is making the effort to draw attention to what is, frankly, a humanitarian crisis?

    I don’t read Radley Balko or Reason; for the sake of argument I’ll happily take the word of nearly everyone here that they’re glibertarian idiots. Even so, it’s STILL a fantastic thing that they published an entire issue devoted to prison rape and other problems with the criminal justice system. You’re right Mark D – most people, myself included, have too many immediate problems to worry all the time about something that’s conveniently hidden behind prison walls. But when somebody makes the effort to draw my attention towards this sort of thing, MY response isn’t to criticize them because they’re not addressing my own pet issues first. My response is, ‘This is great journalism! Hopefully this ultimately helps things change for the better!’

    When bad people do good things, we should applaud, not criticize.

  94. 94
    RossInDetroit says:

    You’re either with Balko or you’re against him. Sound familiar?

  95. 95
    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire says:

    @85

    The fact you find rape so horrible, yet wish it on someone else simply because you disagreed with them (on the Internet!) shows that your concern is either an act, is only applied selectively, or … well, perhaps the topic hits too close to home.

    No, dimbulb, I’m throwing your bullshit back in your face. Nice insinuation that I only care about this because I’m a rape victim, though. We all know that nobody should care about the opinions of a silly rape victim! You know what they’re like! God damn you make me sick.

    Look, your whole message was simply replacing the word “prisoner” with the word “animal.” The only possible conclusions to draw from this are:
    1. You think of prisoners as animals, or
    2. You think worrying about prisoner rape is just as silly as worrying about animal rape.

    Either of these conclusions paints you as a deeply evil person.

    If you were trying to make a different point, you failed miserably. Own up to it, and stop whining that people are taking you at your word.

  96. 96
    Carlo says:

    @Midnight Marauder #91

    You actually used the above comment as an example of someone “dismissing” prison rape? Because they listed legitimate issues that are at the forefront of the American public’s mind?

    No, because they compared a humanitarian crisis like prison rape to “the tenderness of the veal.”

  97. 97
    Mark D says:

    Look, your whole message was simply replacing the word “prisoner” with the word “animal.” The only possible conclusions to draw from this are:
    1. You think of prisoners as animals, or
    2. You think worrying about prisoner rape is just as silly as worrying about animal rape.

    Look, it’s obvious that you came in here looking for something to latch onto so you could bitch and whine, and I won the “Complete Dumbfuck Who Misses the Point” lottery. Lucky me. I’ll make sure to celebrate tonight (maybe I’ll “rape myself” as you suggest).

    But it is quite telling that no one else drew that conclusion but you.

    No one.

    At all.

    But you.

    You, and only you, managed to totally, 100%, completely, utterly, like-the-Royals-going-for-a-playoff-spot, miss the point.

    Again: Only. You.

    No one else.

    Everyone else got it.

    Except for you.

    So perhaps you should spend more time strengthening your reading skills, and less time going around the Internets demanding people apologize due to your lack of them.

    Now good day, sir!

  98. 98
    Midnight Marauder says:

    No, because they compared a humanitarian crisis like prison rape to “the tenderness of the veal.”

    Your critical reading skills are about as abysmal as your worldview.

  99. 99
    Studly Pantload, a full-service troll says:

    @Carlo (thither and yon)

    No one here seems to be belittling the efforts of the fine, upstanding Reason crowd to highlight this much-too-common atrocity in our prison system. There is no humor in that.

    But we’re happy to point and laugh when one of their bloggers gets a wah!burn because the one nugget of gold they offer from their usual bucket o’ slop isn’t getting what they feel to be due discussion and pimpage from a parrticular non-affiliated blogger. And when clueless dolts like you wander by and conflate our bemusement and amusement over said pissyspasm with a dismissive attitude toward the prison rape – well, as you can see, we’re kind of a “both barrels” crowd.

    Say it slooowly with me, now: We are making fun of the Doo-Radley dude’s infantile behavior, but this does not equal dismissing prison rape as the blight on our judicial landscape that it is. Perhaps if this Reason gentleman would comport himself in a more mature, professional manner, he could avoid overshadowing the subject matter he was intending to address with his own baffoonish behavior. No?

    Now get outta here, ya knucklehead, I got a sudoku to finish up before I leave work.

  100. 100
    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire says:

    @97

    Nice argumentum ad populum there.

    I sincerely hope that thinking cogently or being persuasive aren’t part of your job duties, because you fail horribly at both.

    The BJ community has done a fine job of convincing me that they don’t minimize the problem of prison rape. Comparing caring about the thousands of prisoners brutally raped on a regular basis to a meal that’s not prepared to an exacting standard, or calling anyone who does care about the problem of prison rape a loony libertarian. Yup, I’m totally convinced that the average BJ commenter gives the tiniest of fucks about the problem. And how.

  101. 101

    Fuck the libertarians. that is all.
    ETA: Cole says “What is even funnier is that apparently my sin is not reading Reason magazine, which has a circulation of 60k. Apparently I share my guilt with 310,240,000 other Americans.”

    Apparently, you share that trait with 6.94 billion other earthlings.

  102. 102
    Yutsano says:

    Fuck the libertarians.

    Yeah, I’m just gonna co-sign this and tell the selfish assholes to go start their own damn country if they think their ideas are so superior.

  103. 103

    I don’t read Radley Balko or Reason; for the sake of argument I’ll happily take the word of nearly everyone here that they’re glibertarian idiots. Even so, it’s STILL a fantastic thing that they published an entire issue devoted to prison rape and other problems with the criminal justice system.

    Well, let’s throw them a parade. Like there aren’t countless organizations over the last few years who have devoted numerous stories to the prison system (including the for-profit system). But fuckin’ A! Look at Reason in the room. Get back to me when anything reason publishes causes things to change.

  104. 104
    Mnemosyne says:

    It was the supposedly libertarian policies, that often seem only corporatist hackery to me, that produced a fearful and resentful population that is so bitter and concerned about their prospects that they find it hard to give a hoot about lowlifes jailed on doubtful drug charges, or raped in prison, or suspected undocumented immigrants rounded up, charged, tried convicted and sentenced summarily through the very careful and respectful (irony alert) US immigration authorities.

    It’s like they’re surprised to discover that promoting their “every man for himself” philosophy for decades means that they’ve greatly reduced the number of people who care about their fellow citizens and are willing to help them.

    You can’t make a virtue of selfishness and still convince people that they should care about a humanitarian crisis that doesn’t directly affect them.

  105. 105
    Studly Pantload, a full-service schmuck says:

    The Baron @ 100

    Sounds like yer not long for the comments section, here. I’d advise you to not let the door thwack ya in the crack on the way out, but you’d probably misread that, too.

  106. 106
    Chukwu says:

    Jeffro @ 84:

    John, the reason you drive Radley crazy is pretty obvious to me – you used to fly the right-wing/libertarian flag, until it all stopped making sense, and then you took a look at the nuts around you and decided you could no longer run with that crowd, amirite? Sounds like you used something called…’Reason’.

    Balko on his post, just now (emphasis mine):

    I’m not thin-skinned. I don’t lose any sleep over John Cole. I just think he knows better. Or at least there was a time when he did.

    Got it in one.

  107. 107

    I’m not thin-skinned. I don’t lose any sleep over John Cole. I just think he knows better. Or at least there was a time when he did.

    But I’m going to write a post being butthurt about his opinions. Because someone is wrong on the Internet.

    No, no thin skin there.

  108. 108

    Prison rape is deplorable, and good on Reason for condemning it. But to do justice to the problem, one has to consider race and class – two areas which libertarians have form in ballsing up.

    For example, I’ve heard of prisons where gangs of racial group A and racial group B use prison rape as a recruiting tool. They don’t rape inmates of their own race. Instead, gang A work out a quiet “nod, wink” accommodation with the gang B – let them abuse the prisoner for a time, and then offer protection for joining the gang. “You’ll be safe with us; we’ll protect you from those motherfuckers in racial group B”.

    The prison authorities generally turn a blind eye to this. Firstly, the prisoners are generally poor; there’s few “Senator’s sons” in the clink. And it’s easier that the prisoners prey on each other than work together for a common cause (like breaking out).

  109. 109
    Jeffro says:

    Chukwu @ 106:

    Missed my calling =)

  110. 110
    Pseudonym says:

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire:
    We’re not calling just anyone who does care about the problem of prison rape a loony libertarian. We’re calling you a loony libertarian.

  111. 111
    Mark D says:

    I sincerely hope that thinking cogently or being persuasive aren’t part of your job duties, because you fail horribly at both.

    I see … so I fail horribly because you — and, again, only you — can’t understand the difference between mocking/dismissing a comment someone made about prison rape, and mocking/dismissing prison rape itself?

    Ummm … ohhhhhhkaaaayyyy.

    You truly are obtuse to the point of absurdity. And it’s somewhat amusing that you don’t even realize it.

    The BJ community has done a fine job of convincing me that they don’t minimize the problem of prison rape. Comparing caring about the thousands of prisoners brutally raped on a regular basis to a meal that’s not prepared to an exacting standard, or calling anyone who does care about the problem of prison rape a loony libertarian. Yup, I’m totally convinced that the average BJ commenter gives the tiniest of fucks about the problem. And how.

    Glad we could help!

    Now run along — I’m sure the Guild of Perpetually Outraged Posters has a meeting coming up, and I’d hate for you to miss it …

  112. 112
    jcgrim says:

    Wow.Sounds like Radley has a mancrush on John. His next move might be drunk-texting.

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