Open Thread

I’m almost afraid to do this, but I will be going to a party for my friends who are getting married on Saturday, and I have to leave the blog unattended for a few hours. Yesterday, I took a 45 minute nap in the afternoon, and that was enough time for you all to crayon the walls, put saran wrap on the toilet seats, feed Rosie a half pound of chocolate, and by the time I woke up the Wednesday race riot had broken out and JSF was daring EEMOM to stick her tongue in the wall sockets.

I’m begging you all. Please behave.






142 replies
  1. 1
    dr. bloor says:

    No sweat. ABL will manage this place like Nanny McPhee on meth.

  2. 2
    boss bitch says:

    be glad it was crayons and not poop.

  3. 3
    BGinCHI says:

    This should cheer you all up:

    Second Season premiere of “Louie” tonight!!

  4. 4
    Spencer says:

    whahoo john is gone.

    let’s glue all the furniture to the ceiling! we’re gonna need more crazy glue.

  5. 5
    Hunter Gathers says:

    You might want to look into hiring a babysitter. This place resembles a day care center after a visit from the soda and cookie fairy when you’re not around to police the joint.

  6. 6
    shortstop says:

    Yesterday, I took a 45 minute nap in the afternoon, and that was enough time for you all to crayon the walls, put saran wrap on the toilet seats, feed Rosie a half pound of chocolate, and by the time I woke up the Wednesday race riot had broken out and JSF was daring EEMOM to stick her tongue in the wall sockets.

    The histrionics have been too much even for me, and I have a way high threshhold for drama, but I gotta say that sentence was freaking hilarious.

  7. 7

    We are in ur blogz, killing ur civiliteaz!

  8. 8
    shortstop says:

    Also, too, I think you would have been smarter not to reveal that you’d be more than five feet away from your computer. But we can discuss your self-destructive impulses later. ;)

  9. 9
    gnomedad says:

    I promise not to get my tongue stuck to your flagpole. Even if triple-dog-dared.

  10. 10
    ABL says:

    you HAVE seen my open thread from this morning, have you not?

    God bless ya, JC.

    My parents are in town, so after about an hour, I’m gonna be gone. I fully expect that the Asshat Brigade will have burnt this place to the ground by the time you return.

    In any event, I’ll be on the roof with your 50 y.o. Laphroaig waiting for the conflagration.

    RIP Balloon Juice. We hardly knew ye.

    ::pours some on curb::
    ::licks it up because that’s a waste of good fucking scotch::

  11. 11
    p.a. says:

    Hamsher Rules. Obama=Nelson=Landrieu. sorry. couldn’t resist.

  12. 12
    Duckest Fuckingway: Ask not for whom the Duck Fucks. . . says:

    Ahhhh, quit yer crying, baby!

  13. 13
    BGinCHI says:

    I promise not to get my tongue stuck to your flagpole.

    Gosh, there’s a joke there somewhere but I just can’t find it.

  14. 14
    ruemara says:

    I behave with all the manners and deportment that this world deserves. So fuck you, you fucking fuckbag of fuck with your fucking parties and your fucktarded blog. Don’t me fucking cut a bitch up in here.

  15. 15

    Some good news for a change: North Carolina's governor just vetoed their new voter suppression law.

    ruemara: Damn, that made me nostalgic for @MayorEmanuel.

  16. 16
    BeccaM says:

    But, but, but it was the most entertaining 45 minutes this blog has seen… well, since the last time it happened.

    But okay, I promise not to start the next violent argument on the list, “Which is inherently the better pet, dog or cat?” To be followed with the “should parents be obligated to take screaming kids out of restaurants?” food-fight.

    Now I’ve gone and misplaced my crayons… so what else can I use to mark up the walls?

  17. 17
    joeyess says:

    So, does anyone else think that Digby is a pollyanna?

    Or is it just me?

  18. 18
    gnomedad says:

    @BGinCHI:
    Reference to film “A Christmas Story” plus seasonal implausibility. Otherwise random.

  19. 19
    shortstop says:

    Yay, Beverly!

  20. 20
    catclub says:

    Crhis Murphy is now taking up the ethics cudgel against Clarence Thomas.

    How long before Breitbart has a weiner pic of him on Drudge?

  21. 21
    eldorado says:

    In any event, I’ll be on the roof with your 50 y.o. Laphroaig waiting for the conflagration.

    @ABL, are you flirting with me?

  22. 22
    BeccaM says:

    @ABL: Damn straight that’s a waste of good fucking scotch. Here’s a sponge, get it all. I’d about kill for a dram of 50 yr old Laphroaig.

  23. 23
    dr. bloor says:

    Reference to film “A Christmas Story” plus seasonal implausibility. Otherwise random.

    The old “sometimes a flagpole is just a flagpole” defense, eh?

  24. 24
    Zifnab says:

    /leans out from behind blog with goat on leash?

    Is it time yet, guys?
    No? Go away? He’s still here?
    Aight.

    /leans back behind blog again.

  25. 25
    jane from hell says:

    @toomanyjens, great, until they override her veto again?

  26. 26
    Mike Kay (The Base) says:

    A wedding? I dare you to object during the vows.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    gnomedad says:

    I assume other have been seeing the ad for “Discover How Librulism Destroys People and Nations”. Just reflecting that the “book” is unlikely to be ordered by anyone uncertain how, you know, it does that.

  29. 29
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    by the time I woke up the Wednesday race riot had broken out and JSF was daring EEMOM to stick her tongue in the wall sockets

    Jesus John, you really don’t read the site, do you? I didn’t comment at all in the first dustup and only commented on the second one near the very end to apologize for causing it all, and then offer qualified support for ABL.

  30. 30
    El Tiburon says:

    In that case I’m going to finish off the rest of the blow from 1992.

    I’ll be up whence you all return.

  31. 31
    Hunter Gathers says:

    So, does anyone else think that Digby is a pollyanna?

    Nope. Digby’s a cutter.

    Hullabaloo should be renamed ‘Digby watches cable news while picking out new spots to place a scar’.

  32. 32
    ruemara says:

    Zifnab Micky? What are you doing here? And where’d you buyfind your date?

  33. 33
    BGinCHI says:

    JSF actually a victim. I never thought I’d see it.

    Gnomedad, you pitch softballs, me swing for fence (Cornfucius).

  34. 34

    @jane from hell: The story says they don’t have the votes in the House to override.

  35. 35
    Cassidy says:

    Maybe the FDL ratfuckers can come over with some apology beer for stinking up the place.

    Someone had to start it.

  36. 36
    Mike Kay (The Base) says:

    Burn Notice season premiere tonight

    Loves me some Fiona

    http://i641.photobucket.com/al.....anwar5.jpg

  37. 37
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @BGinCHI:

    JSF actually a victim. I never thought I’d see it.

    Oddly, the shitstorms seem to occur whether or not I participate.

  38. 38
    Hawes says:

    @catclub

    I know Chris Murphy. In order to become the next great Democratic politician, he had his genitals removed.

    Looks like a Ken doll down there.

  39. 39
    ABL says:

    Maybe the FDL ratfuckers can come over with some apology beer for stinking up the place.

    um… that’s not beer… unless it’s the new urine-colored beer i’ve been hearing so much about.

  40. 40
    Cassidy says:

    unless it’s the new urine-colored beer

    Budweiser Golden Wheat has been out a while.

  41. 41
    gnomedad says:

    @BGinCHI:
    What I should really be embarrassed about is that your first reply was too subtle for me.

  42. 42

    let’s glue all the furniture to the ceiling! we’re gonna need more crazy glue.

    Fix’d.

    I’m going to need to quit my job, I miss all the fun stuff here.

  43. 43

    If someone fed half a pound of chocolate to Rosie wouldn’t A) the earth’s crust crack under the strain, and B) Rosie die of chocolate poisoning?

  44. 44
    trollhattan says:

    Pshaw, Cole’s “lengthy breaks” seldom last more than forty-five minutes. Also, too, Zombies!

    http://www.boingboing.net/2011.....fic-s.html

  45. 45
    Cat Lady says:

    ABL’s Nate Dogg is on duty while you’re gone John. That badass m*f*cker will not be messed with. QED.

  46. 46
  47. 47
    Amir_Khalid says:

    Yesterday, I took a 45 minute nap in the afternoon, and that was enough time for you all to crayon the walls, put saran wrap on the toilet seats, feed Rosie a half pound of chocolate, and by the time I woke up the Wednesday race riot had broken out and JSF was daring EEMOM to stick her tongue in the wall sockets.

    I do believe that a good number of Balloon Juice commenters come here precisely for the opportunity to behave like this — an opportunity not available on most blogs. (Puts on good-little-angel halo.) Me, I don’t indulge in such behavior. I just stand by and watch.

  48. 48
    bemused says:

    Evidently, it was too tame around here. John is all but throwing down a triple dog dare to start a gigantic bonfire and throw everything and everybody in it.

  49. 49
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    Here’s a trippy thought: I just mailed my paperwork to change my name and gender on my birth certificate. So, in a few weeks, I’ll be able to legally marry the people I’m not allowed to marry now, and I won’t be able to legally marry the people I’m allowed to marry now.

    How many people can claim that?

  50. 50
    BGinCHI says:

    I propose Cole holds a lottery amongst commenters and each week whoever wins gets to be a front pager for that week.

    Methinks Levenson’s pics won’t look so provocative a couple weeks in.

  51. 51
    Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony says:

    Disco ball. Check.
    Multicolored flashing lights. Check.
    Dry ice. Check.
    Bathtub of gin. Check.
    Knee high river of foam. Check.
    Fireworks. Check.
    Sacrificial offerings for Tunch. Check.
    Blowtorch. Check.
    Go-go dancers. Check.
    Insane DJ. Check.

    OK, John, have fun!! Don’t worry about a thiiing. Everything will be juussst fiiine.

  52. 52
    BGinCHI says:

    @Amanda: Ann Coulter?

  53. 53

    Amanda in the South Bay:
    I have a close friend who suddenly found that gay marriage laws suddenly were not a concern for her marrying her boyfriend.

  54. 54
    General Stuck says:

    This peace craze will blow over

  55. 55
    MikeB says:

    BJ commenters trashing ABL: BORRRRIING!!

    ABL defending/justifying to said commenters: BORRRRING!!

  56. 56
    scav says:

    Missing music. Blogroll Blitz! (Life on Mars version for BBC crowd)

  57. 57
    BO_Bill says:

    I like ABL. She is smarter than Sean Hannity.

  58. 58
    Felinious Wench says:

    It’s not a decent party without an impromptu fire on a sofa. Who’s bringing the kindling?

  59. 59

    Amanda #49.

    My goodness. Do we say congratulations now?

    At any rate, I should think this would be one of the milestones on your journey.

    Maybe we could say Mazel Tov. :-)

  60. 60
    shortstop says:

    Jesus John, you really don’t read the site, do you? I didn’t comment at all in the first dustup and only commented on the second one near the very end to apologize for causing it all, and then offer qualified support for ABL.

    This is totally true. But John is going to say that he’s pre-punishing you for future crimes.

  61. 61
    shortstop says:

    Also, there isn’t actually anything grammatically wrong with the phrase “heretofore unused.” I’m just sayin’.

  62. 62
    trollhattan says:

    Okay everybody, I found Cole’s chemistry set. Let’s do that “Tunchzilla” experiment we’ve all been talking about.

    http://images.google.com/hoste.....13d3f6a702

  63. 63
    Brian S says:

    Budweiser Golden Wheat has been out a while.

    Last night I saw, for the first time, Mich Ultra with Pomegranate and Raspberry. I hung around waiting for someone to order it so I could follow them out to their car later and hit them over the head with my bottle of Delirium Nocturnum, but no one went for it.

  64. 64
    BGinCHI says:

    Brian S, I wish you hadn’t told me that.

    Who drinks that shit? McChrystal?

  65. 65
    shortstop says:

    How many people can claim that?

    The night before your new certificate comes in, you need to throw a large party with 1970s-style just-naughty-enough-for-suburbia sexual games, then at midnight all the games change radically and hilarity ensues.

  66. 66
    shortstop says:

    I hung around waiting for someone to order it so I could follow them out to their car later and hit them over the head with my bottle of Delirium Nocturnum, but no one went for it.

    Bwa ha ha ha.

  67. 67
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    @ Linda:

    Yay! thanks!
    This deserves some sangria as soon as I get home.

  68. 68
    Brian S says:

    BGinCHI, I wish I hadn’t seen it. I don’t understand why a joint that’s nice enough to serve Delirium (among many, many other fine beers) would also carry something as crappy offensive as regular Mich Ultra, much less the one I saw there. It’s not even the fruit part–I like a good lambic. It’s the not really beer part of it that bugs me.

  69. 69
    jl says:

    I thought Cole let Tunch climb into the computer to play with the commenters when he was away.

  70. 70
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @shortstop:

    This is totally true. But John is going to say that he’s pre-punishing you for future crimes.

    Nah, he’s never looking that far ahead.

  71. 71
    Mike E says:

    Meanwhile in Mayberry: Our Dem Gov Bev Perdue vetoed the voter ID bill presented to her by our GOP dominated General Assembly. Keep that red pen out, Bev, there’s another half-dozen flaming bags o’ shite to dispose of!

    Btw does anyone else think state repub chair Robin Hayes is Michael Steele’s illegitimate Caucasian stepbrother? It would be irresponsible not to speculate…The Dem party here would be wise to mic this guy as often as possible.

  72. 72
    Gravenstone says:

    I like ABL. She is smarter than Sean Hannity.

    Low hanging fruit, dude. A 2 X 4 is smarter than Hannity.

  73. 73
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @shortstop:

    Also, there isn’t actually anything grammatically wrong with the phrase “heretofore unused.” I’m just sayin’.

    HellifIknow. I just use the words, I don’t make the rules.

  74. 74
    BGinCHI says:

    Brian, let’s agree that Mich Ultra Rat Poison should be the one and only flavor of that “beer.”

    Great, now I’m thirsty for a Founder’s Cerise. Or maybe I’ll have a New Glarus Coffee Stout when I get home.

  75. 75
    taylormattd says:

    Hullabaloo should be renamed ‘Digby watches cable news while picking out new spots to place a scar’.

    Omfg, I shouldnt be laughing, but I just spit out some diet coke.

  76. 76
    nancydarling says:

    I, for one, almost always comport myself like a lady, JC. Actually I am to old to act any other way.

    Good to hear from you Amanda. Do you live in the South Bay of L.A. County (beach cities, Torrance and environs) or the South Bay of the San Francisco area?

  77. 77
    scav says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Great, now I’m thirsty for a Founder’s Cerise. Or maybe I’ll have a New Glarus Coffee Stout when I get home.

    If those are your options at home, we’re moving at least part of this party to your place. Who’s with me?

  78. 78
    Mnemosyne says:

    So, in a few weeks, I’ll be able to legally marry the people I’m not allowed to marry now, and I won’t be able to legally marry the people I’m allowed to marry now.

    Uh, how many people are you planning to marry? Are you going to turn your apartment into one of those nutty Mormon fundie compounds, only with more gender balance? ;-)

  79. 79
    BGinCHI says:

    scav, Mrs. BG is teaching tonight, so the party is on.

    Wait, my place full of B-J jackals?

    I’m just gonna go ahead and pre-call 911.

  80. 80
    Brian S says:

    @scav @BGinCHI I don’t have any beer at home right now, but I’m in for half a bottle of Glenmorangie.

  81. 81
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    @ nancy at 76:
    South Bay as in SF Bay Area, Santa Clara County

    @ Mnemosyne:
    We really need polyamorous relationships legally recognized, but I think we’ll probably end the drug war before that ever happens.

  82. 82
    burnspbesq says:

    @BeccaM:

    “so what else can I use to mark up the walls?”

    Sharpies! MUCH harder to clean up.

  83. 83
    DonkeyKong says:

    There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away and we’ll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

  84. 84
    burnspbesq says:

    Hmmm … Let’s see.

    Little Feat is the worst band in the history of the universe.

    All NFL officials are completely fair to the Steelers.

    IPads rule and netbooks drool.

    Jane Hamsher sucks Avigdor Lieberman’s dick.

    The ramapo is the only tomato worth eating.

    Did I forget anything?

  85. 85
    shortstop says:

    There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away and we’ll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

    I can’t tell if you people are even funnier than usual in this thread or if I’m slightly hysterical over losing my largest client due to budget cuts. The giggles sound a little ragged to my own ears, but who knows?

  86. 86
    shortstop says:

    Little Feat is the worst band in the history of the universe.

    I knew someday Burns and I would find consonance, if only for a stolen moment. Today is that day.

  87. 87
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    Wait, John’s away?!?

    Oh, God – I’m trying, but I can’t… I can’t restrain myself.

    Corset! Cow-pies! Big… big… women’s bicycle seats!!

    Whew – I’m glad I got that out of my system.

  88. 88
    greenergood says:

    Amanda #67

    Sangria tonite, but when the papers come BACK, get ABL to share her 50 y.o. Laphroiag with you. Party nite!

    @Becca M
    When I was a toddler, I discovered bananas were particularly good for fresco-painting – monochrome, but if allowed to dry, then pretty permanent…

  89. 89
    digby says:

    So, does anyone else think that Digby is a pollyanna?

    I suspect that isn’t really the term you wanted to use to insult me:

    Pollyanna: Belittling and often insulting term for being absurdly optimistic and good-hearted, believing in a good world where everything works out for the best all tht time.
    Talk about laughing out loud …

    Now being a “cutter” — well, that makes more sense. Certainly watching cable news is masochistic and I do feel as if my daily dose is a form of psychic bloodletting.

    What I don’t get is why anyone would find that particular post to be a good example of my “Pollyannaish”/cutter ways.Observing that Republicans are likely to be claim that people are cheating on unemployment seems fairly obvious. Why not choose the debt ceiling laments which are far better examples of my Democratic self-loathing? Color me confused.

  90. 90
    scav says:

    Oh, that was fun. Local political polling with a very serious young fellow that I could easily stun by volunteering that I’d vote communist on some days. I live for those little dead-air moments when you can almost hear the little neuronal gerbils spinning without traction.

  91. 91
    lamh34 says:

    POTUS giving speech to LGBT fundraiser, he said “I believe that gay couples deserve the same legal rights as every other couple in this country.”

    but he didn’t say “marriage”.

    At the end, he told the crowd if they support him in ’12, then “”I promise you we will write another chapter in that story.””

  92. 92
    Amanda in the South Bay says:

    Um…who the fuck is Casey Anthony, and why should I care that a murder trial is front page on Google News? Add journo majors to business school grads as being total dregs on society.

  93. 93
    LGRooney says:

    @DonkeyKong, 83: Groundskeeper Willie, “And my first act as mayor will be to kill the whole lot of ya’ and burn your town to cinders!”

  94. 94
    BGinCHI says:

    Wow, digby sighting.

    Also, Burns, good match yesterday in Copa d’Oro, no? Who knew Adu would figure in it??

  95. 95
    Violet says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Did I forget anything?

    Lily doesn’t have enough “personality.” Or, she’s a “bug-eyed worthless little mutt.”

    Note: I in no way endorse this belief, but it’s guaranteed to set JC off.

  96. 96
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Digby:

    Color me confused.

    Yeah, I was too but didn’t care enough about whatever these jackwagons say to inquire further.

  97. 97
    Brian S says:

    Did I forget anything?

    LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan/the biggest loser of all time?

  98. 98
    Head Bulshytt Talker in Chief of the Temple of Libertarianism(superluminar) says:

    Wall outlets? Meh. Try taking an industrial 3phase shock. Fun times and also concussion. Not wanting to give anyone ideas…

  99. 99
    trollhattan says:

    @89.digby

    Funny, when I read “cutter” in the original post I thought of “Breaking Away.” Anyway, howdy.

  100. 100

    Violet:
    I can beat that. Dogs in general are fawning, obnoxious examples of why unconditional love is a bad thing, not a good thing!

    How’s that? I’m not good with the profanity and insults, but I can hold an unpopular opinion like nobody’s business.

  101. 101
    quannlace says:

    Last night I saw, for the first time, Mich Ultra with Pomegranate and Raspberry.

    Ooh.While you’re knocking back a few you can congratulate yourself that at least you’re getting your anti-oxidants.

  102. 102
    BGinCHI says:

    @quannlace: post lacks requisite contempt, derision.

    You fix.

  103. 103
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Don’tIHaveAReallyCoolNewNameBlahBlahBlahLookIt’sMeSuperluminar!:

    Wall outlets? Meh. Try taking an industrial 3phase shock. Fun times and also concussion. Not wanting to give anyone ideas…

    I bet you’d never be able to tell with eemom.

  104. 104
    burnspbesq says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Yeah, two good matches. I thought for a split second that Espinoza’s shot was going in and Mexico was going out. Hell of a save.

    Who was that impostor wearing number 20 for the US? He was good.

    Looks like we’ve solved our left back issue for a while, unless McLeish buries him on the bench.

  105. 105
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    Hey! Where’s John’s Pittsburgh Steelers stash? I got some Dawg Pound stuff! (BAWHAHAHAAHAHA rubs hands greedily)

  106. 106
    burnspbesq says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Saturday’s going to be a bitch. There will be 93,000 people at the Rose Bowl, and no more than 100 will be rooting for the US.

  107. 107
    Kathy says:

    @ burnspbest#84
    you forgot “pirates are better than ninjas”

  108. 108
    Mike Kay (The Base) says:

    @burnspbesq:

    There will be 93,000 people at the Rose Bowl, and no more than 100 will be rooting for the US.

    I didn’t know netroots nation was having their convention at the Rose Bowl

  109. 109
    Thoughtcrime says:

    With visitors like you degenerates, popping in at all hours trashing the place, I can see why Cole has given up dating:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgOqcH1Ywzs

  110. 110
    mellowjohn says:

    why does the jimmy buffett song “gypsies in the palace” spring immediately to mind?

  111. 111
    burnspbesq says:

    I finally figured it out! It’s a totally ingenious plan!

    Jane Hamsher: Grover Norquist as Charlotte Corday: Jean-Paul Marat. She’s just working to gain his confidence and trust so that she can do the deed.

    Yeah, that’s it.

  112. 112
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @doodoohead

    Jane Hamsher: Grover Norquist as Charlotte Corday: Jean-Paul Marat. She’s just working to gain his confidence and trust so that she can do the deed.

    When you made your misogynistic remark upthread, I almost weighed in to smack you around but figured the potential for inciting even more Hamsher fixation wasn’t worth it. How naive I was.

  113. 113
    Steeplejack (phone) says:

    51:

    Go-go dancers?! I’m in. I am even off work tomorrow, so I won’t have to call out with some ridiculous excuse.

  114. 114
    DonkeyKong says:

    Hummungus [lines spoken offscreen, scarcely audible but coming up in subtitles, while Max is eating the dog food] Smegma crazies to the left! The gate! Gayboy berserkers, to the gate!

    That is from Road Warriors IMBd quotes, I have to find that scene on Youtube to confirm. It’s like haiku, or at least the title of a wicked ABL post.

  115. 115

    I Googled myself just for the fun of it. I was told that there are four LF’s living in the US, here, there, and somewhere else. And then there was this stuff connected to my name.

    I figure that if it’s good, then I did it. If it isn’t, one of the other ladies should be blamed. :-)

    Commenting on BJ seems to attract Google and some of those comments were tagged. Also, I wrote a good deal of inflammatory propaganda in the past and some of that is still bouncing from place to place to place. It’s really interesting to see what has survived.

    So . . . I’m famous in my own mind. Not bad, really.

  116. 116
    Anya says:

    So, what’s this torching of the place, everyone keeps bringing up? Man, did I miss another mega fight?

  117. 117
    Woodrowfan says:

    this time someone else try to superglue Tunch to the ceiling! I still have the bandages on….

  118. 118
    Luci says:

    @Anya I missed it too. The fight I mean! But, this is the best thing I’ve read/seen/heard all day, and I’m finding it hilarious. I’m also finding it frustrating not to be able to come up with anything even CLOSE to the humor some of you guys can. I think I shall go drink some box wine.

  119. 119
  120. 120
    Elisabeth says:

    @myself

    Screwed up the formatting but either click the link or go to jonhuntsman.com

  121. 121
    eemom says:

    ahem. John Cole.

    I am eemom, not EEMOM.

    Please respect my case. kthxbai

  122. 122
    JPL says:

    Earlier..I think I saw a post by ABL sticking her tongue out at all of us but now it is gone… Was that my imagination?
    edit.. nevermind…found it…

  123. 123
    eemom says:

    I almost weighed in to smack you around but figured the potential for inciting even more Hamsher fixation wasn’t worth it.

    ooh look…..fuckie’s playing Grown Up tonight. He’s all self-controlled ‘n shit.

  124. 124
    artem1s says:

    It’s not a decent party without an impromptu fire on starting a bonfire with a sofa.

    We MFA grads are all closet pyromaniacs at heart. The best parties always involve burning large pieces of furniture… or vehicles.

  125. 125
    JPL says:

    Since this is an open thread, I want to ask why the hate for ABL. I’m not black so I can not relate to her experiences but I can tell you that when my friend and I who is black travel to No. GA, I lock my car doors.. Why does she have all the strangers attack her?

    edit…and where do they come from??

  126. 126
    Woodrowfan says:

    JPL: I dunno, I kind of like her posts…

  127. 127
    nancydarling says:

    JPL, I luvs me some ABL.

  128. 128
    JPL says:

    I love ABL’s posts but all these ass..es show up and I tend to shy away from the comments. It’s like there is a signal and they all appear to sting at the same time.

  129. 129
    PhoenixRising says:

    I read that as “took a 45 minute crap yesterday” and was worried something was REALLY wrong. But it’s just the same old sh*t.

    I’m sticking ABL with a hat pin, soon’s I find a hat pin.

  130. 130
    scav says:

    @artem1s: I supposed the MFA artistic part is closet pyromaniacs setting fire to pieces of furniture instead of closets or cupboards. Cunning and unexpected that. Very PoMo.

  131. 131
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    this time someone else try to superglue Tunch to the ceiling!

    Man – is even superglue that strong?

    I assume the ceiling collapsed first?

  132. 132
    shortstop says:

    Man – is even superglue that strong?

    Of course. It bonds in seconds!!!!

    I just wanted to say that.

  133. 133
    Triassic Sands says:

    I’m begging you all. Please behave.

    Hey, it’s your house. Set a better example and maybe your house guests will quit acting like Huns, flesh-eating bacteria, and sharks with blood in the water. You reap what you sow, John. Enjoy the party, but don’t be surprised if you come home to an empty lot with a huge crater.

  134. 134
    Citizen_X says:

    Don’t look at me like that. Did you all think that text was a joke? I told you: “BRINGING 2 POUND BAG OF SHROOMS.” Now shut up and dig in.

    2 hours later: TUNCH COMMANDS US: TIME FOR BURNING MAN/WEST VIRGINIA!

  135. 135
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Triassic Park:

    Hey, it’s your house. Set a better example and maybe your house guests will quit acting like Huns, flesh-eating bacteria, and sharks with blood in the water. You reap what you sow, John. Enjoy the party, but don’t be surprised if you come home to an empty lot with a huge crater.

    I don’t think it’s that dire.

  136. 136
    ABL says:

    I’m sticking ABL with a hat pin, soon’s I find a hat pin.

    you should use a safety pin. remember, safety first; then teamwork.

  137. 137
    burnspbesq says:

    Is your sense of humor under warranty? You should have it looked at by a qualified technician, cuz it’s not working.

  138. 138

    @Steepman, did someone say go-go dancers? (Yes, I know it was referenced earlier).

    Cole, if you come home and Tunchie is missing, it wasn’t me!

  139. 139
    Steeplejack says:

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I knew you would be along to slake my GGD thirst. I just got home from work. How you doin’ tonight? Are you on some sort of weird schedule (weirder than usual)?

  140. 140
    Triassic Sands says:

    JSF — on the Intertubes the use of hyperbole is often mistaken for normal discussion. I overstated the case — considerably — on purpose. I was poking fun at Cole, who really does start a lot of the “brawls” here by the way he phrases his posts, particularly what I take to be the intentional use of ambiguous language.

    Whenever one uses irony, hyperbole, even simple sarcasm on the “tubes” there is a danger of misunderstanding. I suppose that’s one of the reasons emoticons and LOL came into being. For better or worse, I hate emoticons and most acronymese (so to speak), so I won’t telegraph my intent by using them.

    In fact, far from being dire, most of the fights/disagreements/whatevers that go on here are just plain silly. There are some genuinely unpleasant people, but most are OK people who just get revved up at their keyboards and get a little ridiculous.

  141. 141
    Elie says:

    Linda f @ 115:

    Yeah I googled myself (Hmmm — well, I was bored and it felt good — a little release)

    No seriously, I found out that I worked for a freakin Golf Course.. What the hey???

    Actually, its good to do that once in a while to see what comes up…

  142. 142

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