The tremendous power of chain restaurants was demonstrated once again in my part of the world yesterday, when one of our area bloggers decided to pack it in after a single visit to Olive Garden. That’s a shame, because her blog was quite good.
Before commenting on that, let me get this out of the way: chain restaurants suck most of the time. For some reason, they don’t take reservations, so the popular dinner hour begins with a cattle-call lineup that often stretches out the door. Then there’s the food, which is often either too salty or too greasy, and the drinks, which are either weak, overpriced cocktails or draft beer that tastes like the tap hasn’t been cleaned in a month.
That all said, a lot of locally-owned restaurants also suck a great deal of the time. They pawn off food that was cooked and frozen somewhere else as their own, they are probably more likely to violate health codes, and they’re less predictable over time than a chain.
What I don’t get about chains is the extremity of reaction to them. There’s the “Applebees salad bar”, “real Americans eat here” response, which ignores the fact that a lot of the people eating at chains are doing so because it’s the least worst alternative, or just didn’t want to drive a few more miles, or because the chain offers up cheap food for kids. And there’s the “index of the apocalypse” response, where the chain is a symbol of all that’s bad with our suburban/corporate car culture. I’m more in the latter group, but I’ll fess up that I’ve eaten at Olive Garden without having an existential crisis, and see no reason to go all emo about the popularity of chain restaurants. Almost everything that’s popular is at best mediocre, and the sooner you understand that, the more likely you are to go find something less popular but better.
Joseph Nobles
Popular food has to be mediocre because it must appeal to the most people possible, or at least offend the least people possible. It must also be as cheaply made as possible. I agree with you on the baffling extreme reaction to Olive Garden. I hate the food, so I don’t go. But jihad is too time-consuming. I have to save that kind of energy for Game of Thrones spoilers.
WereBear
Olive Garden is one of the better chains; and I speak as someone who has eaten a lot of Italian in Brooklyn, where it’s really good stuff.
Fact is, would people support their good local eatery? Too often they are bought off with the slightly cheaper, somewhat lesser, offerings that the chains provide.
So it is their fault.
Percysowner
Chain restaurants don’t bother me. If I’m looking for something quick, I can go to a lot of Chipolte or Five Guys and know what I’m getting and not have to worry about it. As for higher class restaurants it depends on the chain. Some I like, some I avoid like the plague. I do go to local restaurants as well. Mostly I feel if you don’t like Olive Garden, don’t go. There’s no need to get in a snit about it.
About the only chain I have really mixed feelings about is Max and Erma’s. 30 years ago it was a little independent restaurant in the German Village section in Columbus. Then they added a branch in the suburbs. Then someone bought them and the menu became generic and not as tasty as the original. I still go occasionally, but I miss what it once was.
cmorenc
I’m no fan of chain restaurants in general, but Olive Garden merits an exception. Even though as with all chains, they doubtless use a fair amount of pre-packaged meal ingredients in their, prepped at a central facility and shipped in frozen, nonetheless they’ve hit upon a successful method and combination of items this works well with, doing the rest (e.g. pasta prep) locally. I’ve never had a bad meal there, and their all-you-can-eat bowl of salad before the meal is wonderful.
ANOTHER CHAIN worthy of honorable mention is Chipotle. Very simple menu, true, but good, freshly prepared pseudo-Mexican style food without any of the heartburn or heaviness or greasiness you often get with that.
jibeaux
I like Panera fine, especially if I’m traveling and want a trustworthy place that will have something healthy for my kids to eat that’s nearly as fast as fast food. (This is an underserved niche, IMO.) I like Dunkin Donuts coffee and Penn Station subs, and I’ve had good if incredibly caloric Italian meals at Carrabba’s and Maggiano’s. But I can’t for the life of me figure out the appeal of Applebee’s, Outback, or Olive Garden for anyone. Haven’t eaten at any of those places since growing up and they were “fancy” options. Fortunately I have a lot more options now, but if I didn’t I think I’d just cook more.
Comrade Javamanphil
Not disagreeing with any of this but you are letting them off much to easily on their “cocktails” which are an assault on good taste, daily caloric intake and indeed everything a cocktail should be.
J.W. Hamner
I generally hate the “coastal elites” construction, but in the chain restaurant jihad I think it’s largely true. If you live in Boston, NYC, Philly, LA, Seattle, etc… eating at Olive Garden is a bad choice. If you live in the middle of nowhere it’s likely your best choice… and you’ll do cartwheels if a Cheesecake Factory opens up.
Uncle Glenny
This must be why this web site is advertising a colon cleanser.
jibeaux
Ooh, I forgot about Chipotle, I like them a lot. And I think they’re probably the only chain restaurant on earth serving Niman ranch pork.
Tata
That all said, a lot of locally-owned restaurants also suck a great deal of the time.
This is a weak excuse to settle for bland predictability. If you don’t like the restaurant you’re sitting in go find something you do like, but don’t go to a chain restaurant.
Here in NJ, we have wall-to-wall culinary school graduates. Should we export them to wherever you are?
MattF
And, don’t forget, a lot of ‘home cooking’ is awful too. I thought I didn’t like vegetables until I went to college and discovered that vegetables didn’t grow in cans.
Walker
As a southerner who has to put up with the stuff they call food in CNY, Cracker Barrell and its chicken and dumplings is a guilty pleasure.
techno
People eat at chains because the experience is reliable–no small matter when it comes to food.
I used to know a guy who worked on the original Olive Garden concept. Those folks tried hundreds of recipes, tested menus, decor, and other presentation issues before focus groups, got feedback from professional food critics, etc. etc. There is NO WAY a local eatery can do that. So while it is possible that a small craftsman can produce a better eating experience–after all, cooking isn’t THAT difficult–in the vast majority of cases, the research and development that goes into the creation of a place like Olive Garden just overwhelms anything the little guy can do.
I think that whenever you eat at someplace like Olive Garden, you should try to appreciate it for what it is. When you look at the menu, try to imagine that somewhere a whole room full of people debated the font choices and leading. Etc.
As for the criticisms of places like Olive Garden, they usually come from someone who doesn’t have a lot going for them so whining about food is as close as they will get to having meaning in their lives. And while I am certain everyone knows a better place to eat Italian food, those same folks also know a bunch of places where the food is a LOT worse.
jibeaux
@cmorenc:
I’ll respectfully disagree on the OG, but I bet we can agree that it is a fucking depressing if unsurprising day in the NC today. We are now officially spending less on education than a state which prohibits adoption by gay couples. Congratulations, Mississippi, on your moving up a notch.
Matt
Yeah, Olive Garden isn’t all that bad; I’ve had good meals there. Every Red Lobster on Earth, on the other hand, should be nuked from existence.
cleek
if fewer people ate at chains, there’d be more people vying for space at the places i like to go to. and that would be sad.
flounder
The Outback takes reservations. I know ‘cuz I roll into one over X-mas time and were always eating in a group of 10.
I used to live in Prescott, AZ, which prides itself on being a cowboy town; it’s the home of the oldest rodeo in the U.S. Guess who serves the best prime rib in Prescott? You got it-the fake Australian chain.
jibeaux
@techno:
I’m aware that the chains do this, but the problem is that that degree of field testing everything just leads almost inevitably to mediocrity. When you’re focus grouping your food, some people aren’t going to like that spice or that vegetable they don’t recognize or whatever it may be, and it’s going back to the drawing board to make it more familiar and to probably add cream. The R & D doesn’t add anything except to come up with a menu that’s more generic and least common denominator, which is fine if you’re trying to create an empire across the country of food which the greatest number of people will tolerate, but it’s not good if you’re trying to sell food that’s interesting.
Elizabelle
One tiny, tiny plug for Applebee’s, it of the no salad bar fame:
They serve dinner until 11 p.m.
Which is huge if you are traveling and forget to factor in the time change difference, and thus the more interesting local offerings have, very apologetically, closed for the evening.
Olive Garden? Meh.
mistermix
@cleek: This.
@Tata: There are plenty of good local places to eat here and I eat there a lot. Still, I’ve had bad meals at local places that got good reviews, and some of those have culinary school chefs. Good restaurants take a lot more than just a good chef.
Tata
As for the criticisms of places like Olive Garden, they usually come from someone who doesn’t have a lot going for them so whining about food is as close as they will get to having meaning in their lives.
Or they come from people who can actually cook. Or respect the idea of traditional family recipes. Or chefs who use locally-sourced ingredients. Or people who understand that chain restaurants are a drain on stressed local economies. Yes, those people are such whiners.
cleek
@techno:
and that’s a big part of the problem.
the whole OG experience was designed by committee, and it shows. it’s a theme park of Italian-ish food. it’s entirely artificial – as in artifice. i can’t sit in a place like that (OG, Applebee’s, Chili’s, etc.) and not feel like everything has been calibrated and positioned just right to elicit certain responses from me. this item is on the menu because 86% of respondents approved, and the salt content has been shown to cause diners to order more drinks, and the average patron eats 1.6 rolls, etc.. and, if i don’t like something, i have to deal with knowing that i fell outside the fat part of the menu committee’s bell curve. i am an outlier. and in a situation like that, it’s not too hard to get to “i am superior to the masses this was designed for.”
MAJeff
While it’s easy to get a hate-on about Olive Garden or Applebees, the place that has earned my eternal enmity is Red Lobster. I’ve only been once, and what they did to squid was criminal. No way should one receive the sense of eating rubber bands.
One of the things that really drives me insane about chain restaurants is the serving size. There’s just too damned much food. Cheesecake Factory is the worst offender in this area, but even the “all you can eat shrimp” or “endless salad” are part of the problem. All of this is part of the problem that we’ve just got a shit food culture in the U.S.
PeakVT
Chains are predictable, and most people don’t have the cash or time to experiment with all the non-chain restaurants in their area.
WereBear
Since I now live in a place with a lot of good, local, non-chain places; chains do not appeal.
But McD’s wouldn’t have become an empire if most people didn’t take the trade-off. Which is pathetic.
Steve
I just find it amazing that tourists will come all the way to New York City, with so many amazing restaurants, and choose to go to the Olive Garden in Times Square. And I’m basically a suburban Olive Garden type myself. P.F. Chang’s is my favorite chain.
13th Generation
Thing is, these chains can be expensive, especially given the mediocrity of the food. I would rather spend the same amount of money (and not dine with the philistines) at a good local thai, mexican, bistro, etc. Quality matters.
moonbat
@Matt: True that, Red Lobster is an all-out frontal assault on what seafood should and can be.
One of my biggest discoveries as an adult to whom home cooking used to mean throwing a Lean Cuisine into the microwave, is that most of the time with a little planning, a little effort and a good butcher and fish monger backing you up, you can usually beat whatever a chain or even a high end local restaurant can give you right in your own kitchen. Most of the time when we go out to eat these days, be it a chain or a local eatery, I feel robbed. There are some exceptions to that, but for the most part it is true. Plus i don’t have to worry about where the meat came from or what might be running around, besides the chef, in the kitchen.
I protest OG not for the food but for the dumb faux Italian names they come up with for the dishes. Give us a break!
Comrade Javamanphil
@cleek: The flip side, of course, is the better Thai restaurant in my town just closed. Medium, happy, let’s find it.
Gin & Tonic
@techno:
I don’t go to a restaurant for typography, I go for food.
I don’t know about Buffalo, but there are plenty of people in most places making real food from real ingredients, you just have to look a bit farther afield. I mean, jeez, you can get better Mexican food from two guys with a truck parked next to I-95 in New Haven, for heaven’s sake, than you can from Chipotle.
Go where the recent immigrants live, and you will find real food.
eastriver
I’m not going to comment on a blog about the fucking Olive Garden. Life is too short.
Wait. What am I doing?
Okay, now that I’m here…
Italian food is just about the simplest thing in the world to cook. Just make sure the ingredients are fresh, and don’t overcook anything. And make plenty so you’ll have leftovers, and then hopefully won’t be tempted to waste your time or money at one of the shit factories.
And move to a city with decent food.
The Olive Garden? Really for swear? That’s like admitting you jack off to The View.
Cassidy
Or it’s snobbish, overpriced pretentiousness called food and you’re expected to pay through the nose for shit service and a small glass of wine because it’s “local”.
JRon
Chains can advertise nationally. Locals hardly at all.
Advertising works.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@flounder:
I ate at Outback on Sunday night. The woman wanted to see a movie and was hungry so we decided on Outback in the shopping center near the theater. The food was decent but the service was really slow. I asked for a glass of water and never got it. We only saw our waiter to take our order and blow off the request for water. The food was pretty good.
J.W. Hamner
It’s interesting we haven’t had anyone going against the “corporate aspect”… though since a lot of fancy restaurants are owned by corporate restaurant groups and celebrity chefs are basically corporations… I guess that’s a good thing.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@eastriver:
That’s funny.
techno
@Tata:
Yes they are!
The treatment of the chains by food snobs would lead an observer to believe that chains are designed and built by folks who actually want to kill their customers, if not destroy their taste buds. Sorry to inform you, the folks who work designing restaurants for the big chains are not cynical bastards, they are hard-working people who want to provide the maximum number of people with a quality dining experience. And what annoys the whiners is not that they fail, but that they succeed.
David
I went to a horrible chain restaurant in Dallas called Madeleine’s. The menu features dishes with vaguely European-sounding names. The help was forced to wear jaunty berets. The temperature outside was a delightful 74 degrees. Inside they had a fire going in a gas fireplace AND air conditioning running.
WereBear
This is the heart of the matter; I don’t know what rogue brain cells fire when someone deviates ever so slightly from the herd, but some people have a ton of them. Somehow, the incessant dinning of the advertising message works the same way as your mother or your friends; if you are told enough to do something, you’ll do it.
For instance, I’ve opened a little shop for kinda artisan cat products.
I can’t help but notice when I tweet a mention, or Facebook it or what have you, people go there and sometimes they buy stuff. This keeps the Circus of Cats afloat, so it’s all good.
But I’ve gotten a somewhat different take on the whole advertising thing, in consequence. I do hate nagging people, but if I don’t bring it up, nobody buys.
This goes for cars and noodles and cat litter deodorizer. It’s gotta be hard-wired. And most people, sad to say, will buy a piece of crap, knowing it’s a piece of crap, because they’ve constantly seen it advertised.
I read that Buffalo Blog review and it made me terribly sad. What is it that makes people so quick to settle for junk? I can’t flatter myself my own inability to do so is a conscious decision. It’s not a decision at all; I’d rather eat good food.
Why do so many people find “goodness” just doesn’t matter?
gmknobl
The entire problem can be traced to the advantages given large corporations. They are allowed to pay staff low wages, not get taxed as they should, preach sameness as a virtue rather than a fault, play to uneducated palettes that are use to food provided only by large corporations rather than actual gardens and which directly undermine both quality food production and higher income for more people via family farms (what use to be the real backbone of the U.S.A.’s food supply) or mom and pop restaurants that were allowed to stand or fail on the virtue of their food’s quality alone (all other things being equal).
Now, since Nixon and the continued elimination and lack enforcement of regulations, corporations own 95%+ of the scene and unless we get true liberal reformers back in power – think either Roosevelt – this won’t change.
Corporations need to be limited in size and broken up if over that size, need to be taxed higher than individuals, and need to be regulated very strongly. When a business is small in size or not a multi-unit chain, financial regulations need to be dropped or not applied to them. Our whole economy needs to encourage small business and discourage large business.
As for flavor, most people I know think anything salty, fatty and/or sugary is great and anything other than that is not great. It’s what corporations want you to think and most people who don’t get truly fresh food don’t know what the real stuff tastes like. This is not to say a Five Guy’s burger isn’t good ’cause it is. But it is to say that what passes for veggies at Faux Aussie Garden pales in comparison to the stuff out of my father-in-laws back yard garden and even my six year old can tell, and appreciate the difference.
Until we get, no FORCE, chains to buy from local farmers only, something that would make Earl Butz of Nixon infamy cringe against it’s anti-big-corporate goodness, you will have large corporations making people fatter, dumber (look at the recent elections), and just plain ignorant. As I said, look at our recent (last decade+) election results, if you can even trust them.
Gin & Tonic
@techno:
No, they are hard-working people who are paid to provide a “good enough” dining experience.
brg65
I was a waitress a long time ago at a chain called “Chi-Chi’s” (crappy Mexican food) and was told that they build every Chi-Chi’s exactly the same. So when the tired traveling business man (this was the 80’s so they assumed there were no traveling business women) walked in the door they’d feel like they were at their Chi-Chi’s at home. They even wouldn’t let us wear jewelry b/c it was too individual and might distinguish us from the other waitrons. Turns out people don’t like to be in unfamiliar surroundings. As a college student I laughed at the thought of those unadventurous business men. But now I understand the search for comfort in a strange town. Food still sucked though.
Cassidy
Well, for one, it’s not all junk. A lot of chain restaurants make decent food that is decently priced. I have a couple I prefer. My big problem with the whole “local” foodie bit is this: I have a family (4 kids). To take my family out and eat something healthy and good is not cheap. I know which places I can go to to get good value, good service, and decently healthy selections. None of them are “local”. There are local places my wife and I like to go to for lunch, but that’s only for us.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
applebee’s cheesy corn!, with bacon bits(of course) and onions.
i am so not a foodie its not even funny, but i even i think that deserves to be mocked. i think one point of the chain restaurants that is on the edges of this conversation, its not the cars/suburban culture so much, its the power of advertising.
even in places with many fine, and sub-fine but great dining options, these places are packed, from the time they open a new store. its the power of suggestion in action.
these places show us how disconnected and dependent on advertising for information our culture really is.
almost everyone has evolved tastes about something, and knows that the popular version of that something, the well-advertised most familiar version of that something is lesser than that which those who care more about that something, prefer.
thus people feel like dupes, be it an applebee’s or an olive garden, a creed, or a britney speers, a retro-tv updated movie, or a franchise sequel, we know its formulaic, we know people who know better in whatever sphere, hate it, so we hate that it works, on suggestion.
magurakurin
@MAJeff:
I’d say that is largely true. There is great stuff to eat in the States, but overall and compared to other countries/cultures, it’s pretty crap. Places like Mexico, Thailand, France, and Italy really rock the fucking house when it comes to food. It’s actually almost difficult to find truly shitty food in those places. In the States it’s sort of the opposite. There is great stuff to be had, but the chances that you will just stumble on it are less. Anymore I only come home to the States once a year, and so when I do I just hit up the old places I used to know or check out a joint someone in the family has found.
The chain places just aren’t very comfortable inside to me. They don’t have much funkiness or charm. The cheaper price doesn’t really appeal to me (and they don’t seem very cheap in my estimation) since I’m there on vacation. But aside from that, my thinking is that if you are looking to save on dining out you are probably dining out too much. My impression of back home is that over the decade and half I have been away people seem to eat out much more than they used to. And compared to when I was a kid, which is a long time ago…the 70’s, people really seem to eat out a lot.
But I’m going home to Philly/South Jersey, so going to an Olive Garden in that region really would should a lack of creativity and initiative. It is pretty goddamn easy to find a little place serving more or less killer good Italian eats in that region. And for super cheap, too. Other regions of the country where the food culture well and truly is crap,I guess the OG might be a good choice.
Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions
I think chain restaurants don’t take reservations for two reasons:
1) They don’t have to
2) The percentage of no-call no-shows would have to be through the roof. I make sure to cancel my reservations at restaurants I don’t want to be blacklisted from, but a) what chain would ever do that and b) what does it matter when I can just go to the Olive Garden in the next town over and have the exact same meal?
Just Some Fuckhead
Yeah, it’s the rest of the world that’s all fucked up, ruining everything for you hipsters.
Tata
@techno:
Sorry to inform you, the folks who work designing restaurants for the big chains are not cynical bastards, they are hard-working people who want to provide the maximum number of people with a quality dining experience. And what annoys the whiners is not that they fail, but that they succeed.
Spoken like true believer in corporate jargon and programmed “experiences.” You can live on spray cheese for all I care and call it caviar, but that doesn’t make it real food.
I grew up in a restaurant. Last week, I got a cookbook dedicated to my father. People like me aren’t whining. We’re telling you you’re facing the back of the cave and calling it the world.
mistermix
@Just Some Fuckhead: Hmm, I thought this was an uncontroversial statement.
BTW, a hipster thinks that everything that was popular years ago (e.g., vinyl, bikes without brakes, big ugly glasses, polyester, Polaroid cameras) is better than what’s popular today. That’s different from what I’m saying.
WereBear
It’s not popularity. It’s what’s good, and what’s not.
People treasure predictability more than anything else. What kind of life is that, broadly speaking?
magurakurin
@Tata:
pretty much. It can be so much better than what a chain offers. Take pizza for example. Anyone doubting how far from reality chain food can go should sample some of Herman Cain’s wares and then find their way to the Via di Tribunali in Napoli…and prepare themselves to have their mind blown.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Just Some Fuckhead:
hipster hating hipster, that’s so hipster!
jibeaux
There was a golden opportunity missed to title this post “Chotchki’s or Flinger’s?”, by the way.
KXB
I am not reflexively opposed to chains, whether it is mid-ranged or high-end. I know Virginia Postrel is not everyone’s cup of tea, but she wrote something a few years ago that is relevant. People who travel extensively can remark about how so many parts of the country are starting to look the same. But, people who do not travel that much will not have that same experience. That can apply to people in the rural hinterlands, suburbs, or inner city.
So, when they go out, they are primarily interested in enjoying themselves. If they enjoy their company that evening, they will pay less attention to whether they are at a chain or an independently-owned eatery.
For me, I avoid Red Lobster because it brings up too many bad memories of childhood. It was my dad’s favorite place, and regardless of whose birthday it was, that was where we went. He also had this annoying habit of saying, “What is the name of that place we go to?” When we gave the answer, “Red Lobster”, he would interpret that as meaning that we wanted to go. Then, when the closest Red Lobster had more black customers than he was comfortable sitting near, we had to drive to ones further out. My dad being prejudiced is not surprising, I just don’t like having to see it in action. Even on our first trip to Orlando, we wound up eating at Red Lobster. You’d think while in Florida, you would try to sample some of the local favorites. Not a chance.
niknik
@eastriver:
Have you ever felt hot coffee squirt out of your nose? I hadn’t until just now…
But it was worth it.
AAA Bonds
That’s cool, because the story you linked to totally agrees with you about chains being okay??
AAA Bonds
It is always great to come on here and read a thread where neither the poster nor most of the commentators seem to have read the story
ULTIMATE BLOGGING! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Cacti
My problem with chain restaurants begins and ends with the fact that I know how to cook reasonably well.
Kind of takes the fun out of the trip to Outback/Chili’s/TGIFriday’s, etc., when you bite into your steak and your first thought is “I could make something better than this”.
Tonybrown74
I’m sorry, but local fare in Orlando? What is that? Is there something called central Floridian cuisine?
AAA Bonds
Seriously, here’s the author of the linked piece:
But don’t let that stop all of you from defensively spluttering about “food snobs” and how you’re all David Brooks ultra-proles who are down with your peoples at Applebee’s.
WereBear
As someone who used to live there, my guess is: Moon Pies & Coke?
dslak
@WereBear: Real Southerners only drink RC Cola with their Moon Pie!
Tonybrown74
@AAA Bonds:
Dude, it ain’t that serious.
You need to relax. Your sphincter will thank you …
AAA Bonds
@mistermix:
As far as I can tell, a hipster is a young person who dresses currently and consumes culture.
Calling someone a “hipster” in 2011 is like calling someone a “hippie” in 1971. It just makes you look like the sort of person who would vote for Richard Nixon.
AAA Bonds
@Tonybrown74:
Hey, I try to pretend I’m joking when I’m proven wrong too. It’s a natural reaction to embarrassment.
beergoggles
My sister lives in the suburbs of dallas and she keeps calling the OG her neighborhood italian restaurant. I tell my friends in the boston north end that and it’s apparently not that funny.
Although I eat way too much at a little chain restaurant near my house called Pho Hoa. It’s a vietnamese soup place and I was surprised to find out it was a chain. Both the Pho and Hue have way more flavor and body than most of the other vietnamese restaurants I have been to and the Kho Bo is to kill for.
So the only conclusion I can come up with is that there are chain restaurants and then there are chain restaurants.
Tonybrown74
@AAA Bonds:
Um, okay … sure!
R-Jud
@magurakurin:
I’d say that the U.S., taken as a whole, has a poorer food culture than Britain does nowadays. In the last 10-15 years, in terms of places to eat, what’s produced locally, and the growth of markets, the U.K.’s larger cities have really worked hard to overcome the woeful, post-rationing malaise of the prior generation.
Plus, when it comes to chains, we have Wagamama, and you don’t (unless you’re in Boston).
Menzies
@mistermix:
Fuckhead hit the nail halfway on the head: hipsters have lately taken a leaf out of G.B. Shaw’s book. Anything popular is now bad.
Take it from a college student; I used to work with a few every Wednesday night, and I lived with a bunch in Milwaukee. The hype-hate is astounding.
@cleek:
Really? Because I would think someone “superior to the masses this was designed for” would also know that being an outlier isn’t automatically positive. I realize that that’s a much harder realization to make, but honestly, that seems like justification for snobbery.
I’ve got no problem with chains, myself. I’ve eaten at Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Chipotle, et cetera and enjoyed it – so I guess my response is, while being fully aware that I’m being a gigantic hypocrite by saying it:
Either way, who gives a fuck?
Jennifer
@Just Some Fuckhead: Hey hey HEY…I happen to agree that mass popularity most often denotes mediocrity, and not because I’m a “hipster” (though I AM and always HAVE been “hip”) but because I understand the underlying principle of the lowest common denominator, which dictates that the best way to achieve mass appeal is to boil things down to those elements which appeal to the greatest number of people. In the case of food, those elements are fat, salt, & sugar.
Also agree with whoever it was that noted upthread that the popularity of these places hinges on people having bad palates. That’s not said from a standpoint of food snobbery; the fact is, if you eat fast food 3, 4, or 5 times per week, your tastes alter to favor more salt, fat & sugar. I’ve seen this in action as philistine friends dump salt all over a lovely risotto I’ve prepared that doesn’t NEED salt added…if half the meals you’ve eaten this week came from Sonic, you’re going to find normally-seasoned food not salty enough. The reverse is also true: if you stop eating at those places and start preparing more food at home from fresh, pretty soon you’re going to find fast food too greasy, salty & sugary, which is what happened to me years ago.
As for Olive Garden, it sucks worse than a lot of places, but I think its suckage stands out more because there’s a cuisine it’s supposed to taste like, and it doesn’t. Chili’s, for example, can get away with something like “southwestern egg rolls” because…WTF is a “southwestern egg roll” SUPPOSED to taste like? I can’t speak for Applebee’s, Outback, Lone Star, or any number of others because I’ve never eaten there. I only eat in chains when I’m driving a long distance and don’t have time to find anything better. The only exception is Pei Wei…I’ll pick up something from there once a month or so, and actually like it. Then again, they cook there – it doesn’t all come in frozen, the veggies are fresh & etc. But as for just about everywhere else, you name it and I can voice a specific objection to it. Had to give up Subways some years back when I noticed that everything on the sandwich – the meat, the cheese, the bread, the veggies – tasted alike. And so on.
Menzies
@AAA Bonds:
Young people who dress currently and consume culture aren’t ipso facto hipsters (while that may be a popular thing to call them) unless they actually subscribe to some part of that subculture, now that there’s an entire industry dedicated to massaging their egos and supplying their wants and needs.
Just Some Fuckhead
If yer complaining about the drinks not having enough alcohol in them while yer getting shitfaced drunk, you may be an alcoholic. Might wanna seek professional help, Buffalo Chow.
Or at least wait til yer sober before writing the review.
AAA Bonds
Pretty much all online posts about chain restaurants outside of food blogs – left-wing or right-wing, sports blogs or policy blogs, whatever – break down into two categories:
1) People with food as a hobby snorting derisively that less interested and less privileged people haven’t acquired their specialized vocabulary and time-costly skill set
2) People with or without food as a hobby playing faux-prole as they extol the virtue of restaurants they know to be a game of quality Russian roulette
However, when you turn to the food blog linked in the post, you get:
Which is about right.
Just Some Fuckhead
Or at least wait til yer sober before writing the review.
AAA Bonds
@Menzies:
There is no “hipster subculture”. What are you talking about? Twee rock? Retro glasses? Skinny jeans?
Those are just suburban youth trends. High school cheerleaders are all over that stuff. People who are intimidated by it are either old or prematurely old.
The reason no one can define “hipster” to each other’s satisfaction is because it’s a term that the crotchety and out-of-touch use in 2011 to describe people who aren’t wearing khakis or slacks.
See: grunge.
Cacti
@Menzies:
This helpful instructional video may help clarify the issue.
boatboy_srq
@moonbat: The problem with cooking at home as you describe it is the same as the problem of “local versus chain.” If you’re lucky enough to have grocers (and butchers and fishmongers) you can rely on to provide good product and service, that’s great. But for far too many in the US the grocery “choice” winds up being between Kroger and Piggly Wiggly – a not exactly enthusing selection in the best of circumstances. OMFSM how I miss the Berkeley Bowl.
It’s this same group that sees chain restaurants as “good”: the ones that don’t have the kinds of choices that make for good eating at home see an OG or Outback as something better than Mom’n’Pop’s greasy breakfast plates and overdone fish fingers.
Regional considerations are substantial in this debate, as J. W. Hammer points out. Far too many people are NOT in places where “good food” – local or chain – can be had. What works in Manhattan doesn’t necessarily in St. Louis, and what will work in both doesn’t guarantee it will suit Wichita Falls. Tastes vary across the country, and selection drives taste more often than any of us would like to admit.
As for portion sizes, here I think we run into one of the great conundrums of etiquette v. marketing. The portions at Cheesecake Factory, for example, are designed so that nobody leaves hungry, which means they have to be made for the largest appetite possible. The restaurant doesn’t expect most people to eat all of it. Combine that with the peculiarly Western insistence that we have to clean our plates in order to be polite to our hosts and we segue straight to the obesity debate without considering that it’s not rude to not eat what isn’t made specifically for us, or that we’re damaging ourselves simply because of marketing thought up by someone who doesn’t care about our sensibilities.
AAA Bonds
@Cacti:
HOW TO IDENTIFY A HIPPIE,
A YOUTUBE VIDEO BY SPIRO AGNEW
Larv
Most chains like OG and Applebees have a twofold problem. One is the whole market-tested, lowest common denominator menu and decor that others have mentioned above. The other is that the people preparing the food are often basically unskilled labor. Cooking isn’t that difficult, but synchronizing the preparation of multiple dishes so that everybody at the table gets their food simultaneously is. Cooks at most chains (as well as many non-chains) just crank out food and stick it under the heat lamp until the whole ticket is ready. This virtually guarantees that somebody’s meal will suck, and often that all but one will. The more complex the menu, the greater this problem is. More complex menus also require more training, which isn’t cost-effective, so chains will add a new menu item and just give the cooks a quick description of how it should be prepared. Chains are perpetually adding new dishes, so by the time the cooks have learned one, it’s been dropped and replaced with something New! and Exciting!
FTR, I don’t think all chains are necessarily bad. Somebody above mentioned Chipotle and Five Guys, which are my models for a good chain. Very simple menus mean the cooks can be well trained and aren’t trying to do five things at once.
Menzies
@AAA Bonds:
I wear jeans like it’s my job – my ass isn’t made for any other kind of pants. I’d love to see someone call me a hipster and defend it, though, given that I actually have been known to enjoy stuff that more than five people listen to.
If you mean that no one fits the strict definition of “hipster,” well: duh. No one fits the strict definition of “goth” or “emo” or “prep” or anything else, either.
If anything, I’m pretty sure when you actually have people calling themselves hipsters like it’s a badge of pride, and a bunch of other people calling them that like it’s a scarlet letter, and a third segment of the population debating whether they exist, you’re effectively working with a subculture.
Menzies
@Cacti:
Man, saw that ages ago. Title is quite true.
boatboy_srq
@R-Jud: ABSOBLOODYLUTELY. I was there a few years ago and was flabbergasted at how far the UK dining experience has come. You haven’t had seafood until you’ve been to Greens, in Whitby (of all places). Though that awful place I took Mum to in Seaford can fall right into the Channel right now for all I care.
Roger Moore
@Gin & Tonic:
Which only sounds terrible until you’ve eaten in a bunch of local restaurants that can only reach the standard of “not good enough”. They’re still out there, but not nearly as many as there used to be. That’s because any local place that can’t measure up to the big corporate chains will go out of business in short order- which is why the big chains inevitably represent the worst food you’re likely to encounter.
But watch out if you go to a local place in a town too small to attract chain restaurants. Some of those places are good, but some of them are bad enough that they’ll make you reevaluate your hatred of chains. Don’t diss the chains until you’ve seen the worst that local businesses can throw at you.
J.W. Hamner
@AAA Bonds:
Dude chill out. Only the opening paragraph has anything to do with the linked post… it was just used as a jumping off point for a discussion of chain restaurants. I don’t see anyone here bashing buffalochow, so I don’t know why you’re taking it so personally.
AAA Bonds
@Menzies:
So a “hipster” is a hyperbolic stereotype that doesn’t apply to anyone. That seems to make me right, doesn’t it?
Well, to be a prick, we’re not “effectively” working with a “subculture” because “subculture” is an obsolete idea from sociology field work that was abandoned decades ago. It’s kind of like saying we’re working with phlogiston.
There were certainly a number of “retro” movements in the last decade, as there are in any other decade, and people always struggle to attach names to these diverse and non-categorical shifts as they enter the mainstream and alter norms.
What people call “hipster” is just American youth culture, and you’re either with the times or behind them. Like I said, hippies in 1971 and hipsters in 2011.
Omnes Omnibus
@AAA Bonds: Defensive hipster much?
Cacti
@Omnes Omnibus:
Someone needs to crack open a PBR and relax.
try the Shrabster
@J.W. Hamner: Friends of ours from Metro Boston went to Iowa in the early ’90s and almost immediately invented the “Olive Garden Conundrum”: It’s a community where an Olive Garden opens next to a US or interstate highway, and it is immediately the best restaurant in town.
I grew up in the part of New England full of Italian and/or Greek immigrants, so every town has at least one place run locally worth its salt. Still surprised there are Olive Gardens and Papa Ginos’ around here.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Cacti:
I don’t know how anyone can relax while drinking that swill. Of course, now that hardly anyone drinks it anymore, it’s getting better.
Menzies
@AAA Bonds:
“Hyperbolic stereotype that doesn’t apply to anyone” is essentially redundant to my understanding. The whole problem with a stereotype is that it can’t effectively represent anyone that it claims to represent. But in that case, we would pretty much have to give up all characterization of anyone, along pretty much every dimension. Politically, just not that many people are straight-up “liberals” or “conservatives.” Philosophically people are more complicated than “utilitarians” or “existentialists” or “idealists” or what-have-you. Linguists are not, no matter what textbooks say, “prescriptivist” or “descriptivist.”
Sociology isn’t my field, so I’m using “subculture” pretty literally here. American youth culture isn’t monolithic. Hipsters are part of it, but they don’t represent everyone (or even close to everyone) within it. The self-identified “hipsters” I know would most likely argue that being part of the general culture is beneath them, though they probably wouldn’t say that in so many words.
I guess my point is – they’re just not that common. The vast majority of people my age still don’t wear skinny jeans or wear retro glasses or ride fixies or listen to Animal Collective or whatnot. It’s hard to call them “American youth culture” when they’re really rather rare even among the people to whom those trends would appeal.
Menzies
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I took a summer program last year with a dude who drank two PBRs a day. Took only one and a half to get him drunk. He still taught the class and I still learned more about Latin from him than I had in the two years I’d taken it beforehand. Good times.
Tuttle
Anybody ever read Towing Jehova? At one point the crew of the ship towing the carcass of God to the arctic runs out of food and has to eat bits of God. God tastes like McDonald’s Big Macs because, just like McDonald’s, God is for everybody.
I don’t live in a particularly big city (Chattanooga, home of the Moon Pie and RC Cola!) but within five miles of me are two excellent Mexican restaurants, a Japanese steak-house, a really nice Vietnamese joint, three Chinese take-outs, two meat-and-three Southern-style places, three barbecue pits and a Cuban sandwich hut. All better, IMHO, than the chain restaurants 15 miles away at the mall.
That said, there is one chain restaurant I love to go to: Trader Vic’s in Atlanta. Excellent food and awesome service every time. A bit more expensive and exclusive than PF Chang’s though.
Roger Moore
@Just Some Fuckhead:
American lagers are made intentionally weak so that people can drink them as a source of liquid. They are slightly bitter because it’s refreshing without being so strong you have to sip them slowly, and they have a low alcohol content so you can drink a lot without getting plastered. They’re not my favorite, but they’re a good choice when you’re sitting outside or in a non air conditioned place on a hot day. Try it sometime and you may be pleasantly surprised.
J.W. Hamner
Seems weird to call it a youth culture thing since all the hipsters I know from the early aughts have like kids and condos and real jobs and stuff now… and they were listening to Patti Smith when you were still in elementary school goddamnit!
Menzies
@Roger Moore:
Y’know, that had never occurred to me. I tend to like the opposite kind of beer precisely because it amounts to drinking solid food, but this would make American lagers a fine heir to the tradition of putting alcohol in everything to sanitize water through fermentation.
Omnes Omnibus
@J.W. Hamner: What is funny about that is that I was listening to Patti Smith before many of them were even born.
Menzies
@J.W. Hamner:
You bring up a good point. How long have people been using “hipster?” I came up to the States in ’07 and didn’t encounter it (except for stuff like that video) for a while, and I’m beginning to think I’m a bit of an outlier there.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@eastriver:
what if you are jacking off to the view, ironically?
Georgia Pig
The main thing I have against chains is that, at least in the south, they’ve helped kill off a lot of indigenous food and accelerated the area from crappy nutritional habits to even crappier nutritional habits. Back in 60’s and 70’s, every southern town would have a handful of “meat and three” places. Yeah, the green beans and collard greens were larded with salt pork and overcooked, but at least there was some fiber and it was relatively cheap. Usually, the fried chicken and catfish were good. Moreover, a lot of folks I grew up with raised a garden and would eat a good bit of vegetables during the summer, because they couldn’t afford to eat out much and there weren’t a lot a places to go, anyway. A lot of these areas, even relatively small towns, have been “suburbanized,” and The Applebees, Ruby Tuesdays, etc., along with Hardees, Wendys and McDs, have been major players in that. Now, when I drive through smaller towns in Georgia, NC, SC, the food choices are typically limited to Hardees, McD’s or a chain like Cracker Barrel or Outback if you’re near the Interstate. The little places downtown tend to be gone. And just go to the Walmart in, say, south Georgia. Ground zero in the obesity epidemic.
Roger Moore
@Menzies:
Technically, I think it’s actually boiling the wort that sanitizes beer rather than the fermentation, but I think that’s the general idea. Let’s just say I don’t think it’s a coincidence that hot countries tend to brew lighter beers than cold countries, or that places with seasonal brewing traditions lean toward lighter beers in summer and darker ones in winter. Or that the centers of craft brewing in the US tend to be places with milder summers.
justawriter
You know, I just came in from the garden where I was excited to see my mesclun (seven lettuces, arugula, mache, radicchio, and a couple of other greens I can’t remember off the top of my head) was nearly ready to be harvested, as was the chard, which I will lovingly wilt in a trace of bacon fat and a touch of 10 year old balsamic and maybe grab the dried porcini out of the pantry for an accompanying risotto …
Given my near term gustatory future, I still have say, “Dudes, chill out.” I echo mistermix, if a place isn’t to your taste, go somewhere else. Brag up the places you like, by all means. But please cease with the rending of garments, the tearing out of hair, and wailing mournfully to Hestia that I am enjoying a perfectly good meal someplace where you would never sully your delicate and refined palate.
J.W. Hamner
@Menzies:
I’m not sure if we (or others) called ourselves hipsters in the late 90’s, but we dressed the same way, listened to the same types of bands, and had the same aesthetic. I’m pretty certain by 2002 or 2003 that was the term one used… probably earlier in places like NYC where you had such a large concentration living in Williamsburg.
someguy
I’d eat at McDonalds before Olive Garden, Applebees, TGI Fridays, and whatever combination of Bennigans, Ruby Tuesday and their ilk remain in business. Ponderosa, Sizzler, Golden Corral? Not worth going in, mostly. Okay chains? On the lowest end, Chick-Fil-A does a half okay chicken sandwich, and Wendys seems like the least bad burger joint. Taco Bell sucks but occasionally has good special stuff on the menu; Taco Tico is nice if you live near one though if you do there’s a million nice TexMex places and it’s beyond me why you’d hit Taco Tico. Moving up the chains… Chipotle and California Tortilla are both pretty good, and Cal Tort has both healthy choices that taste good, and an exquisite collection of hot sauce. They do all the organic shit Chipotle does but they aren’t half as precious about it. Cracker Barrell is passable almost-Southern food. Avoid the wing chains, they are all awful, and the food at Hooters is a greasy disaster. Five Guys (mentioned above) is just short of awesome and their kind of burgers are why you see burgers at topnotch steakhouses – the cooks have to eat lunch somewhere and know how good a burger can be. Cheesecake Factory, California Pizza… ick. On the slightly higher end, Carrabas and Macaroni Grill both do a pretty fair impression of Italian food, about an order of magnitude better than Olive Garden. They’re mid-range on cost. Outback seems totally dependent on the quality of the manager, and LoneStar and Longhorn aren’t terrible, worth the money. As for premium chains – Legal Seafood is ridonculous and will always have a great selection of local and national craft brews. Many of the high end chop house chains – Ruth’s Chris, Mortons – are amazing. Among them the Palm is wayyy overrated. King of the Chains? Legal Seafood, hands down.
Menzies
@J.W. Hamner:
That second part sounds pretty likely, at least.
As to the first, I know there’s always been a retro part of youth culture, with maybe some minor changes in the aesthetic or music taste to account for the general tenor of the times, technology levels, historical preference, etc. – I’m more saying that I don’t know if there was always this idea that they were so commercially tappable, the way there seems to be now.
@Roger Moore:
For most beer I think that’s the case since the alcohol content is so low. I think Romans used merum (pure wine) as a base because it had gigantic alcohol content, but could be watered down to something fairly drinkable but still not plague-bearing.
The stuff about beer does make sense, though. I’ve only just become a beer man (though I’ve had the appropriate gut for years) so I haven’t really gotten into the culture yet.
scarshapedstar
People in other places might have an excuse, but in south Louisiana, if you eat at a chain restaurant, you really are just a boring asshole, and probably from Indiana.
Comrade Javamanphil
@Tuttle:
Yes. There was also something about the cook on the ship being able to perfectly recreate McNuggets but it has been a while since I read it. Good book.
Ruckus
I used to travel quite a bit for business. In theory we had spending limits for daily expenses which didn’t allow a lot of experimentation. As well these were not vacations, worked a lot of hours and wanted a hot shower, clean linen and nourishment. In many places there were few food choices, and they consisted mostly of chains although there were always exceptions, some of which were truly good restaurants. And I got food poisoning twice from chain eateries. But unless you know an area and have time to experiment, on the road, chains are mostly where you eat. Outback was my favorite but OG and Applebees are OK if fairly bland. Their predictability is one of their strong points.
Ruckus
@someguy:
I’d rather starve than eat at McD’s ever again. Cheaper for sure over your other choices so it has that going for it. But the substances they serve… If you are in the west and need a burger try In N Out. Tastes like actual food.
trollhattan
Hard to decide whether to comment on the food blogger who threw up his/her hands on the futility of the exercise or the many Olive Gardenophiles. Okay, neither.
In my mid-size metro area the chains rule the burbs (playing to the SUV crowd) and have notable difficulty penetrating the city. Some do well in town, of course, but we’re very well stocked with indy restaurants of an astonishing array of themes and price points, so they have to land where location trumps quality constraints
The young reviewer at our local paper (McClatchy-owned) braved the Hellfires of Chain Loyalists when he unloaded on Morton’s in his second review. Holy crap, the blowback lasted for at least a year–he’d have been better off tagging city hall with porn0graphic cartoons of Mohammad (pbuh). The only other time I can recall a more intense flow of hatred was when they send the rock music reviewer to a Neil Diamond concert, and he actually reviewed the artist, the performance and the music.
Big. Mistake.
Anyhoo, what I learned from the Morton’s review: people are invested in their experiences, and don’t want, nay, are greatly upset at cognitive dissonance from somebody suggesting they’ve been duped or have sub-par tastes and expectations. The higher up the ladder you aim, the more strident the pushback.
Be that as it may, one can take the $250+ represented by dinner and wine for two at Mortons and have an unbelievably good, life-altering dining experience at any of two dozen restaurants I can name off the top of my head–triple that count if one’s willing to drive ninety minutes.
But most–I’ll peg it at 80-90%–restaurant goers aren’t actually deciding where to go based on the food and service. They’re acting on habit, just as they always reach for the same toothpaste brand and flavor. Typically, they don’t want to be challenged and some portion will become angry when they are.
If one believes Olive Garden (or…) is “good” then it is. I suggest a catch-and-release program for anybody you love who’s caught in this trap. As long as they’re not 70, their palates and expectations can be retrained. I’ve done it myself.
I will only go back if it’s literally the only thing open within ten miles and I haven’t eaten in three days.
PanAmerican
Stupid fucking hipsters. Without corporate eateries you’d have a bunch of young families with the offspring making noise, dropping food and spilling drinks in your favorite joint.
vtr
Here’s a fun home project for the whole family! Try to make a hamburger that tastes like you bought it at McDogfood’s. One rule: It must contain meat.
The only chain I ever patronize is Orange Julius. You can make your own at home with orange juice, Cool-Whip, crushed ice, and blender. Oh, and vodka to taste.
dcdl
My kids love Izzy’s. It’s something my family of 6 can afford with the discounts. I don’t mind taking them, because they can get all the pizza they want, try new things, and I know that they’ll be eating fruit and vegetables. That is the condition for us eating there. The kids have to have fruit and vegetables.
The other nice things about chain restaurants is that they are everywhere. If you are not an adventurous person when traveling and see a chain restaurant you know exactly what to expect.
vtr
And Jamba Juice.
RalfW
Just had a fantastic dinner at a locally owned Vietnamese place in Minneapolis last night. The only thing that was probably cooked from frozen were the shrimp in the crispy crepe with pork, bean sprouts and shrimp. And I can excuse that since the item was ten measly bucks, huge, and delicious. The shrimp played a minor, supporting role in the dish.
A caramelized lemongrass shrimp dish had nice, plump, tail-on shrimp, so it’s clear they use the better seafood where you’re gonna notice. Can’t fault them for that.
Oh, and the panfried wide noodles with basil and mock duck was the standout.
Oh, wait, this wasn’t really a foodie thread, was it.
Just Some Fuckhead
@justawriter:
But don’t you see that your absence of a discerning palate and lack of good taste is directly contributing to the dearth of really good places to eat?
The Pale Scot
Depends where you are, on my home world of NJ, it’s not Italian unless there’s a mama in the kitchen making fresh pasta and dissecting the fresh calimar. Here in FL I worked for a couple of days at “Chez France” giggle.. where the menu seemed to be a pre-war brit’s idea of what french cooking is. Everything from shrimp to Kobe beef was sautéed in a stick of butter and pint of cream. I’ve yet to find decent Chinese but there is one good Italian place in a 100 mile radius. Soon after arriving here Ed Brayton wrote about a place he found in NYC and it brought tears to my eyes, so I can see how OG gets a foothold, can’t lose what you never had.
” It was a little Italian trattoria, the name of which I did not bother to memorize, that shared an entrance with a psychic……
I walked in to this trattoria and recognized it as one of dozens like it in New York. It was small — barely 12 feet with only ten tables. I was greeted by a very gregarious Italian man with a booming voice who stopped singing long enough to shake my hand and welcome me and show me to my seat. His accent was thick, considerably thicker than that of the waitress, no doubt his daughter.
It was the sort of little family run restaurant where you expect to see Fredo get whacked. There was no wine list. If you ask for red you get a hearty barolo or chianti, a house wine of fine quality. If you ask for white you get a pinot grigio, equally good. Either way, it will be served in a glass that is full nearly to the brim, not those short pours you’d get at a corporate owned joint.”
Mike
@Gin & Tonic: Almost there.
They are hard working people paid to maximize profits.
Brachiator
Chain restaurants have been really struggling in this recession. Even the best chains with good food are hurt as previously loyal customers, who can no longer afford to eat out either stay home or hit fast food places.
The chains also have a hard time remodeling or revising their menus.
The Marie Callender chain recently took a big hit:
Turns out that this was just the tip of the iceberg lettuce:
Overall, 31 locations nationwide were closed. However, I think that the extreme ill will generated in how some of the closings were handled will make it harder for the company to recover.
And there is this: “According to the court filing, 2,500 jobs nationwide will be cut as a result of the restaurant closings and other actions.”
Another hit on the economy as jobs are lost.
It’s going to be a long summer.
Mike
@dslak: not just southerners. NRBQ, also, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3J9Jx4SYNE
Cassidy
I have yet to feel intimidated by some little prick dressed in skinny jeans. Revolted, maybe, by the pronounced sock he’s tried to use to cover up his prepubescent protrusion. But intimidated…no.
Cassidy
@Cacti: Or this page.
someguy
@vtr:
I believe it. Every Mortons I’ve eaten at has been pretty spectacular but when you’re throwing $65/plate, it doesn’t matter what the formula is, you’re going to be dependent on the guy at the grill to make it work right. There is a limited amount of talent out there that knows how to do a premium steak just right. If the cooks have an off day, if the Sommelier is second rate, if the waiter delays and the stuff sits under the heat lamp too long… then it’s just an enormous waste of money. If I have the coin tho, I’ll take a shot at Mortons – if there’s no comparable local steakhouse.
@Ruckus:
McD’s = Things White People Hate. (There should be a blog about that… you could do McD’s, Walmart, malt liquor, taxes and black people in the first week).
Cassidy
@Cacti:
Or just give him an opportunity to wax poetic about the heady days when he listened to The Strokes before they became popular and how Stereogum has gone way too mainstream.
justawriter
@Just Some Fuckhead: Just because a restaurant has more traditions than any other in Germany doesn’t make it a really good place to eat.
PanAmerican
A meal at Olive Garden is like the Hall & Oates version of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”. Technically correct but just wrong.
@The Pale Scot:
Those quaint, euro-ethnic places died with unskilled European migration to the US. That market space is now filled with Mexican, Asian, etc.
Doesn’t most of this shit fall off the same food service trucks?
Ruckus
@someguy:
I eat at other fast food places once in a while. I alluded to the reason for my McDs disgust earlier. But I’m glad to know that all us white folk have the same likes and dislikes, it’s so much easier to have where, when, how and who preselected for me.
greylocks
I find the taste police as insufferable as the morality police.
John
Greylocks has it exactly right – food snobbery is very annoying. Some people DON’T LIKE more exotic offerings. Let people eat what they want.
Groucho48
“There are no squares, sweetheart. Everyone is his own hipster” ~~”The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window” 1965
JenJen
So sorry to be so late to this topic, because I have AN AWFUL LOT to say about it.
Being late to the party, I’ll just point out, as a lifer in the Food & Beverage business, that the following chains are good, treat people well, and produce a predictable but quality and value-added product:
1. TGIFridays
2. Outback Steakhouse
And that’s it. I could explain it away for days, so, won’t.
El Cid
@Comrade Javamanphil: I loved that book. Less crazy about The Eternal Footman, but then, City of Truth more than compensated. I think Ricky Gervais should have given credit for taking that plot pretty much directly.
BruceFromOhio
@eastriver: Late to the game, but The Olive Garden? Really for swear? That’s like admitting you jack off to The View is simply one of the funniest fucking things I have read, pretty much ever, on this blog.
joeshabadoo
Is the Buffalo Chow a joke site?
The first page spotlights how an Ethiopian restaurant could make a killing there if someone opened it. They talk about it as if everyone eats and loves Ethopian when I’m sure a majority of people have never been to one and a large amount never even seen one.
Stentor
@someguy: There’s a really good reason for not eating at McDonald’s and it has to do with their beef. I love beef! I’m from Nebraska, and I think it’s genetic. I’ve been known to frequent the local Runza Huts every single day I’m in my home state and chow down an average of two to three Runzas or cheese Runzas per visit. (My record is nine in one day, first day I was back I went and had five for lunch, four for supper.) For those of you who’ve never had a Runza AKA bierach with those crispy salty crinkle fries, you don’t know what you’re missing, yum! Now there’s a fast-food chain on the order of In-N-Out.
But when I heard Spurlock say in his movie Supersize Me abour that there could be found elements of a thousand cows in one hamburger patty at McDonald’s I swore them off forever. Frozen beef, meh! But mixing beef in extremely large batches is dangerous from a disease point of view. It’s why when E. Coli outbreaks happen, they happen in a wider spread, because the animal whose innards burst and contaminated the meat with feces gets mixed in a large batch which gets sent to a much greater amount of their stores.
Sorry, but I don’t ever intend for my last meal to be something I bought at Mickey D’s shortly before I die of dehydration from projectile vomit, and the wild, screaming Hershey squirts. It has nothing to do with hate, and everything to do with self-preservation.
Stentor
Oh, and as a Midwesterner, I can also say this, PBR blows! It is the worst beer I have ever tasted, and I’ve downed cans of Grain Belt, Schlitz, Falstaff, and many other second-tier beers. But PBR is the only beer that has ever made me puke, and that’s because by the time you get to the third one, the vinegary taste just makes the bile rise like an anorexic sticking her fingers down her throat. If hipster douchebags want to drink that vile swill, they are welcome to it. Life is too short to drink cheap, shitty beer, and PBR is the textbook example.