[Please help my dear friend Lily raise money for this triathlon! Do it now! Do it for me! Do it for yourselves. Do it for Johnny! It’s safe to say that if not for Lily, there would be no ABLC. She taught me almost everything that I know about WordPress and blogging, and kept me sane while we served as co-editors-in-chief at my former blog. If not for a year spent working with her (and the others) I wouldn’t exist — metaphorically speaking. [I know this bumps Lily up to the number one spot on The Permanently Aggrieveds’ Shitlist, and that is duly noted and need not be mentioned.] And for the rest of you, couldja help a sister’s sister out? -ABLxx]
I’ve lost more than my fair share of awesome people to various types of cancers, and I know many equally awesome others who have survived or are still struggling with it. The way I see it, cancer is…uh…a cancer, its own metaphor—a blight of suck on the bush of awesome (which was, incidentally, Angry Black Lady’s nickname in college (just “The Bush of Awesome”…not the suck-blight part)), and I’m done with it. I’ve hit the righteous indignation phase of my anger and I’m ready to rid the world of this plague pox cancer. Unfortunately, I’m also tired—tired but enthusiastic, and that beats energetic yet complacent any day, right? Work with me here.
So what can a person with a burning desire yet sluggish metabolism do to help cure cancer? Well, I’ll be honest here. It won’t involve running in a marathon, or a triathlon, or even running to the end of the block for a doughnut. I have to go with my strengths, and I happen to know that my strength is not my strength—nor is running, swimming or cycling long distances (granted, I procure a damned fine doughnut…if I pace myself), and while it might seem like I suck at most gerunds, I am pretty decent at volunteering and panhandling, which brings me to the point of all this.
My fabulous co-workers and friends who are good at those verbish nouns I listed before (I’d type them again, but I’d need a nap) have agreed to team up with Team In Training to participate in The Nation’s Triathlon to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Since they have agreed to do the sweating while I laugh at how they look in spandex, I’ve agreed to help them fundraise by forming what I call “Team Un-Training,” which mainly involves things like drinking beer, playing video games and poker, eating stuff (mainly food), and begging people like you. This way I can help cure cancer while maintaining the generous proportions of my ass and avoiding the unpleasantness of dehydration, muscle cramps and putting my face in the Potomac.
Here’s THE BIG FINISH: We have to raise a whopping $25,000, and are in dire need of your help. No donation is too small. Seriously $1 would be hugely appreciated (you should see what kind of gratitude larger donations will buy you), and it’s all very simple. You just have to click here. Even I have the energy to do that. You’ll win the admiration and appreciation of me (granted that probably doesn’t mean much) and ABL, and you’ll feel good about yourself for doing it.
[cross-posted at ABLC]