(Jack Ohman via Gocomics.com)
__
In a spasm of hometown boosterism, NYMag has added Peter King (R-Terrorists, but only the really paleskinned ones) to its “This week in Fake Presidential Candidates” rundown:
Welcome to the list, Congressman King! You have promised not to campaign anywhere and yet, annoyingly, you also refuse to admit that you aren’t running for president. “Let’s face it, the odds are very much against it,” you said today. “But if something’s out there, I won’t stand in the way.”
And Dave Weigel of Slate has a fun little interview with the Tea Party candidate in next week’s upstate NY special election, Jack Davis, “The Human Torch“:
… The campaign to win the 26th has sucked in millions of dollars from outside groups, almost $3 million of Republican candidate Jane Corwin’s personal fortune, and resources from national Democrats. They want to prove that Rep. Paul Ryan’s budget has so re-toxified the GOP that Republicans can lose even in a conservative district carved out especially for them. And the Democrats’ job might be made easier because Davis is running as the Tea Party candidate and running radio ads claiming to be an “independent conservative.” He’s polling in the low 20s. His red, white, and blue signs are scattered all over the western part of the district.
__
Is Davis a spoiler? He shrugs.
__
“You think I care about the parties?” says Davis. “I’ve left both of the parties. They’ve left me. Now, here’s something you don’t hear other people say. The two parties, they’re owned by the corporations. You cannot trust them. You cannot.” …
__
Ask Davis about any issue, and he’ll bring it back to China. Would he reform entitlements? No. “If we all had good-paying jobs, there wouldn’t have been a recession, we wouldn’t lose our homes, we wouldn’t lose our health care, and we wouldn’t leave this debt for our children.” Would he vote to raise the debt ceiling? “The concession I’d want in order to vote for that is to get us out of the WTO. That’s a big concession, right? Well, we need to do it.”
Just Some Fuckhead
Hard to believe Newt has spent 30 years now as a political cartoon and cartoonists still can’t draw him for shit. He looks like the Grinch with a bad toupee.
CJ
I just. . . what? Is this Tea Party Mad Libs?
Villago Delenda Est
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Oh, my. He’s going to be hearing from The Donald’s lawyers about trademark infringement on the bad toupee thing…
Just Some Fuckhead
I always feel like I’m picking sides in the Great Balloon Juice Race Wars of 2011 whenever I comment in one of AL’s threads. Then I feel like if I don’t comment, I’m diminishing my own personal experience which is really fucking bad, for some reason.
Zifnab25
He’s the conspiracy theory vote on the ballot. Refreshing to see them get their own party at last.
rob!
“If we all had good-paying jobs, there wouldn’t have been a recession, we wouldn’t lose our homes, we wouldn’t lose our health care, and we wouldn’t leave this debt for our children.”
…and if my Grandmother had wheels, she’d be a wagon. Bachmann/Grandma Wagon 2012!
handy
Can someone explain why Davis thinks the U.S. should leave the WTO. That just feels to me like from a free market glibertarian perspective the Yankees leaving the World Series when they have a 14-0 lead in ninth inning of Game 4 and they’re already up 3 Games to 0. (Okay, strained sports analogy but hopefully you get the point).
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@Just Some Fuckhead: Yeah, it’s easy to be a critic, but you try drawing a pile of mashed potatoes in a satiric and yet consistently recognizable way.
Ken
handy @7, at a guess, he doesn’t know what the WTO is or does, but it’s not the U.S. and that’s good enough for him. Though it looks like he doesn’t have too high an opinion of the U.S. either…
Spaghetti Lee
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I’m confused-didn’t you say they couldn’t draw him accurately?
Just Some Fuckhead
@Spaghetti Lee:
My excuse is a head cold.
Gunga Dean
@Just Some Fuckhead
He IS the Grinch with a bad toupee..
SFAW
You know, if you were high enough in the Church, you could blame the Sexual Revolution, instead. Less blame for you, more for the DFHs.
SFAW
What’re you hatin’ on the Grinch for?
Allan
Driven to check by a friend’s typo, I was mildly surprised this evening to discover that no one has created a parody Twitter account under the name @NewtGrinch. I guess it’s an indicator of his irrelevancy that no one has bothered, considering that WI Governor Scott Walker inspired at least two.
Luthe
Exactly what is Davis polling? Because I feel we might be seeing another example of the crazification factor in action…
Basilisc
Hey how about Peter King for Prez – not the chowderhead NY congressman, but the SI writer?
– He’s smart.
– He’s hard-working.
– He’s humane – constantly touting one charity or another.
– He loves the troops, but has delivered some anti-war messages in MMQB over the years that have been crystal clear, to those who choose to listen.
– He seems to have every NFL player’s cellphone number – next stop is calling the voters?
– Loves coffee and beer – thus covering the two main US liquid demographics.
– The next season is more or less a write-off, thanks to owner/player stupidity, so he’ll have plenty of free time this fall.
Think about it – MMQB for POTUS!
cbear
Annne Laurie,
Very classy reply to a totally classless comment on the other thread. Good for you.
Andrew
Hands up who hasn’t heard other people say that on a regular basis. Anyone?
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Basilisc:
wait, you want peter king for potus, hell i don’t think he deserves a hof vote. the hof is a tourist trap in ohio voted on by sportswriters and peter king is out of his league.
Hal
But, Corwin is one of the little people, fighting for Western New York.
The ads Corwin runs with Nancy Pelosi are hilarious. Pelosi is always the ultimate boogey-woman to these people. All wild eyed and scary looking. They shit themselves everytime her name is mentioned.
honus
@Andrew: never heard Ralph Nader say that about a thousand times 15 tears ago
honus
@Ken: WTO, UN, World Bank, France, its all the same thing.
Dollared
@honus: He’s right. I agree with him more than I agree with any fake Democrat.
Dollared
@CJ: He’s right! How is he wrong?
Dollared
@rob!:What? Seriously, how is he wrong?
Isn’t that exactly what we want? So if you treat laudable, non-wingnut goals as fantasy, what are your goals?
Because shitty jobs and a strong safety net doesn’t look any more likely.