And the search for a Republican frontrunner continues…
Hard to know if they’re coming or going from all those assholes with feets.
2.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’m thinking about throwing my hat into the ring. I was reluctant to do it earlier because there are so many fuckheads already running but none of them is getting any traction.
Can I count on the support of the folks here if I decide to run? I promise to announce my candidacy on this site first.
Can I count on the support of the folks here if I decide to run?
Hell yes, we’ll even point you in the right direction,
4.
Hal
My own completely unproven political theory has always been that Mike Huckabee is a bellwether for the Republicans in 2012. If he isn’t running, they aren’t winning. Every other candidate has too many issues.
5.
Yutsano
@Just Some Fuckhead: You’ll have to fight wifey for it. And she has the rusty pitchfork vote locked up.
I wonder if anyone has put two and two together to realize that the good Reverend Huckabee won’t be on this planet after 5/21? Raptured up to a great presidency in the clouds.
8.
Hunter Gathers
Right now, in a lush lakeside house outside Wasilla, Alaska, a phone is ringing. It’s Destiny, and it wants Sarah Palin to answer it’s call.
I think Obama will win no matter who the Republicans prop up. The House and Senate races are the ones to worry about.
11.
hilts
Don’t rule out Chris Christie:
Gov. Chris Christie refused to comment when asked if he believes in evolution or creationism at a press conference earlier today. “That’s none of your business,” Christie said.
@Hunter Gathers: I figured out that Palin will be a full-time VP candidate. Only one debate to worry about, vastly fewer questions to try and look smart answering. It’s the effort/payoff sweet spot in politics.
14.
mr. whipple
Shit, with Huckster out, who’s gonna pour the Jesus juice?
15.
JCT
Grifters just gotta grift — no time for Presidential campaigns.
What a schmuck Huckleberry is — and hah, no way Gov Bully runs for President. He’s a fucking coward too.
16.
Amir_Khalid
@Yutsano: I’m starting to think she really does stand a serious chance of getting nominated for the Republicans after all …
Oh wow. Huckabye-baybee isn’t running? I blame that lame Reagan cartoon.
19.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@hilts: I haven’t seen much of Christie, but my impression is he won’t play in the South, no matter how hard he thumps the Bible. He’s Newt Gingrich, Richard Nixon and Rudy Giuliani all rolled up into one. That’s not a fat shot, just a fortuitous use of a common figure of speech.
20.
mr. whipple
Palin/Bachmann 2012: It’s a No Brainer
(via Rumproast)
21.
Yutsano
I am surprised y’all are failing to recognize the genius of that great Southern businessman Herman Cain. Of course most Republicans haven’t noticed him much either.
@John Cole: Teh damn Easter eggs. I always ferget to look for teh damn Easter Eggs.
@Violet: Thx for noticing. I appreciate it when people catch the little things I throw into posts just to see if folks catch them.
23.
harry
He is just like Palin. Neither want to take a pay cut.
24.
BGinCHI
Maybe they should just run the Toyota Frontrunner.
25.
Maude
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Atrios has Chrisite’s poll numbers. 56% unfavorable and 38% favorable. He’s gone down rapidly and he will keep going down. It would be great if he ran in the primaries and the entire state of NJ voted against him.
Christie said Creationisim could be taught in public schools. Wrong.
26.
Fred
So did he blame the liberal media bias? Or Bin Laden for having porn? Someone always has to be to blame for their short comings.
27.
The Dangerman
I called Hucks; now, I’m calling Daniels. He doesn’t run, either. It’ll be Pawlenty, by default, unless Christie gets drafted.
Palin could win the nomination, but The Big Money will kneecap her to keep her out of the race (she would set new standards in epic fail if she was nominated).
28.
MikeJ
@John Cole: I’d like to stay and drink my first champagne[1][2]
Yes?
[1] Third of the night to be honest.
[2] Not actually champers. Gin.
Atrios has Chrisite’s poll numbers. 56% unfavorable and 38% favorable.
Of the remaining potential GOP presidential candidates, who polls highest?
I cannot think of one they could run that might win the general election without the economy completely tanking first.
32.
Yutsano
@The Dangerman: So will T-Paw. Outside of Minnesota virtually no one has heard of him. The big names either aren’t running or have about the same chance of surviving a primary as a formed sphere of snow in Hades. He would have to cover a shit ton of ground just to even get to 40% name recognition. I’m going with either Bachmann or
Bible Spice. Dark horse: Jeb.
33.
dogwood
This is good news for Obama. Huckabee is a slick bastard; comes across like a nice populist. Guys like Pawlenty and Romney have to work a bit at being assholes so they come across as wooden and inauthentic. Palin and Gingrich are authentically mean and it’s obvious to a majority of voters. Huckabee is as mean and lowdown and Sarah and Newt, but he’s crafted a nice guy, comfortable in his own skin image that a majority of voters have bought into. For that reason he’s always scared me a bit. I wonder if he ever really was serious about the presidency, even in 2008. Running and teasing about running again has been a lucrative gig for him. In that respect he’s just like Palin, but my guess is in the long run he’ll make more money than her. In terms of being a TV personality or a speechifier, he’s got way more talent than she does.
34.
JCT
@BGinCHI: It would probably give the best stump speech of any of them.
It would be great if he ran in the primaries and the entire state of NJ voted against him.
Christie said Creationisim could be taught in public schools. Wrong.
Could happen, friends of mine in NJ hate him with a passion — honest to g_d frothing at the mouth. It’s almost fun to get them going until I realize they might have an MI. Yeah, well, if anyone subsequently *asked* him if he said something like that he would bluster and yell and blame others. His usual MO when caught lying. Pond scum, that guy.
35.
mr. whipple
Of the remaining potential GOP presidential candidates, who polls highest?
Maybe there’s still time to get Duhnold a special exemption?
36.
Rommie
@Yutsano: Yep, I was thinking Jeb too and got down to your post. The carpet’s all rolled out for him now, and all he has to do is walk the aisle and “save” the Republican Party.
I’m going with either Bachmann or Bible Spice. Dark horse: Jeb.
He’ll have to change his name; no way a Bush gets elected in 2012.
I could see Bachmann getting nominated; Bible Spice is too well known and too hated from being too well known.
2012 is going to be boring at the top of the ticket; if the Media wants a Horse Race, they’re just this side of fucked.
Obama is one lucky Dude; Ryan’s uberhot Hollywood wife isn’t enough for him and has to drop out. McCain. Perhaps Bachmann. The First Dude’s doing something right.
38.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Barring something earth shattering, I’d bet today that the Republican will not win NJ in the general in November, ’12.
39.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Rommie: If Romney can’t be the Republican nominee because he’s Mormon, how does Jeb ever pull it off as a Catholic?
Goodnight, goodnight: Always was partial to that tune.
JC, have you tried Moonlight White from Upton Tea? Pricey (they ought to give you a cut!) but really nice.
41.
Maude
@JCT:
I am so glad to hear that. Tell them they have company as I agree with them. The NJ radio station is constantly supporting Christie.
He has lost a Lot of money for this state. The starting up the mall again is so stupid and I hope it gets blocked.
He has hinted that he won’t follow court rulings.
It could get to the point where the people of NJ make him resign.
Iowa can have him.
If this is true, the only remaining GOP contenders that are not underwater in terms of favorable/unfavorable are Romney and Ron Paul. I don’t think either can win the primaries.
I don’t want to speak too soon, because the economy could cause problems for Obama if it gets worse, but if it doesn’t, we could be looking at a Reagan v Mondale scale ass-whipping.
The Republicans aren’t searching for a frontrunner. They’re searching for somebody, anybody other than Multiple Choice Mitt to be the frontrunner.
44.
mr. whipple
I don’t want to speak too soon, because the economy could cause problems for Obama if it gets worse, but if it doesn’t, we could be looking at a Reagan v Mondale scale ass-whipping.
Agreed. I think this is why the states are throwing up so many wingnutty ballot issues for 2012: keep the wingers heated up enough to show and vote in 2012 so the whole party doesn’t get an epic beatdown. They sure as hell ain’t gonna be motivated to come out for the presidential with the current slate of losers.
45.
Yutsano
@Rommie: @The Dangerman: Jeb has a huge Dubya problem. Not to mention his very Mexican wife will make him poison in a wingnut primary. He’d be in the immigration trap: too much in favor of reform and he’s letting his wife influence him, too far the other way and the hypocrisy of a foreign wife comes to the fore. And that’s just one issue. Not to mention he has a pretty crappy record in Florida to work against as well. Jeb has too many net negatives to even think about it.
Ryan’s uberhot Hollywood wife isn’t enough for him and has to drop out.
WHAT. KIND. OF. A. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. CHEATS. ON. SEVEN. OF. NINE?? Not to mention the fact Jeri Ryan is like uber nice in person.
46.
IM
Romney by default.
Someone has to win the nomination, after all.
47.
Rommie
@Just Some Fuckhead: I don’t think Jeb is dumb enough to accept the offer when he has better chances in 2016, but it’s there for the taking. His last name and the star power it would have with them would cause an outbreak of fluffing long remembered.
48.
jrg
@mr. whipple:
Yeah, but the tea party favorability polls are underwater and dropping, too. I suspected that this “Taxed Enough Already” nonsense would end as soon as the GOP threatened to touch the third rail.
I’m just dying to know what’s going to happen here… Is the base going to cave with a milquetoast candidate like Romney (which I doubt), or double-down on the crazy?
I really think the power brokers might be losing control of the party. If that’s true, we might see peak wingnut in 2012.
49.
Yutsano
@IM: If they put up Romney there will be a third party Teabilly candidate. No question. They cannot tolerate the Mormon cult.
50.
JCT
@IM: Just imagine the Romney vs Obama debates when the HCR comes up, it will be like Obama and the Fly all over again.
Besides, the batshit crazy 27% will not vote for the magic underwear guy with tons of formerly reasonable views.
They will take the mormon over the muslim. Most don’t understand the doctrine anyway. (The number of christians who understand the trinity is quite limited).
Just imagine the Romney vs Obama debates when the HCR comes up,
and civil unions, and choice, and the environment, probably half a dozen other issues… I can just see that frozen JC Penny model smile and the thin film of flopsweat on that giant-ass forehead
53.
IM
And Romney will just lie about his former views. There will be no strong republican who can challenge him on health care. As soon as he reaches the general, he is home and dry: The press will cover up everything, after all he is a fellow plutocrat.
They will stay home and sit on their hands; I don’t think there are enough anti-Sharia Law initiatives to bring them out if Romney is the candidate.
Is it too early to start pondering 2016? Hillary will be 68. Does Michelle O. want to swap places with the hubby?
55.
JCT
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: It’s just way too easy — Obama runs saying “I do exactly what I say I will do…. HCR, DADT, OBL– who knows what Romney will do since he can’t seem to make up his mind on any given day”. This of course will be followed by repeated “death hugs”. Hilarity.
And OMG, the Wall Street Journal Editorial Page will just lose it’s shit every day of the campaign, their dislike of Romney knows no bounds.
Obama is one lucky Dude; Ryan’s uberhot Hollywood wife isn’t enough for him and has to drop out. McCain. Perhaps Bachmann. The First Dude’s doing something right.
Republicans who are into conspiracy should be looking for Obama moles in the GOP candidate selection process, not scrutinizing kerning on birth certificates.
In numerous churches all over the country but especially in the South the preachings against Mormonism and the followers of said faith are taught as complete heresy and Mormons are to be derided and shunned. That won’t simply melt away just because the Republicans put one up as their standard bearer.
58.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Yutsano: I like to think in a matchup between Romney and Obama, the evangelical Christian voters will vote for the evangelical Christian candidate, Obama. But I’ve been surprised before.
59.
MikeJ
@IM: I grew up in the south among fundies. I keep hearing from people who have never met one (but have read all about them on the interwebs) that fundies won’t vote for a mormon. I know these people. Religion doesn’t actually mean anything to them. It’s all tribalism, and Obama is much more not of their tribe than Romney.
Jesus, Romney has fundie hair. Half of them will be reminded of the slick preacher they had at the last revival.
Here’s the question for those of us on the left: I don’t care about what sort of supernatural nonsense anybody believes. I understand that whoever gets elected is going to believe something stupid in that area. Is it right or wrong for those of us who want to separate religion from politics to inform low information fundies what it is that mormons believe (Jesus is from outer space and will give you your own planet to be god over if you don’t drink coffee.
WHAT. KIND. OF. A. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. CHEATS. ON. SEVEN. OF. NINE??
He didn’t cheat on her. He just tried to bully her into having exhibitionist sex in sex clubs. I don’t remember if it was that he wanted to have sex with her in the clubs, watch her have sex with other men, or some of each. But it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill hiking the Appalachian Trail.
61.
Anoniminous
Previous to the announcement the top three where:
Huckabee
Romney
Palin
Huck’s out.
Going by 2008 results and the poll @jrg linked to Romney has to be considered the Front Runner. I have doubts he’ll make it through the South. In 2008 his best showings was a 2nd place in Florida and West Virginia; he came in third in Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Maryland.
I don’t think Palin is going to get in the race and if she does she isn’t going to win. When 58% of her own party “would not vote for” she’s dog meat. (Note Trump has the same problem.)
Everybody else is slopping along under 10% except for Paul who is at 10%.
Have to see where the Huckster voters end-up before making any kind of call.
A geranium would make a better leader than any of these right wing conservative fools. What a mess they make of everything they get their greasy hands on.
But according to Jack Chick tracts catholics are satanists too. And yet a lot of catholic republican politicians get elected. Do you think Santorum or Gingrich would have the same problem? And if that is so obvious, what are Huntsman and Romney thinking? (And Romney sen.?)
65.
Yutsano
@Roger Moore: It was my understanding he was doing it without her then tried talking her into it. I admit my recollection is fuzzy.
And yet a lot of catholic republican politicians get elected. Do you think Santorum or Gingrich would have the same problem?
Santorum was elected in Pennsylvania which is also heavily Catholic. Newt converted long after he was out of office. I do however foresee that conversion as a potential liability since now technically he left the True Faith. Plus both have huge drawbacks outside of their religion to contend with.
Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama are both wonderful people, but I’m really not crazy about the prospect of the last 5 presidents being from 3 families. My personal dream-candidate short list includes Feingold, Weiner, or Sherrod Brown. But I bet it will end up being someone no one’s heard of now (who the hell was Obama in 2003, or Bill Clinton in ’87?
I couldn’t do it. I would start to inform them on the mythology of Galactica…
68.
Spaghetti Lee
And yet a lot of catholic republican politicians get elected. Do you think Santorum or Gingrich would have the same problem?
But in the South? I don’t keep track of which sect which politician belongs to, but I can’t think of many Southern Catholic Republicans.
69.
Just Some Fuckhead
@IM: Brownback would already be President but for some crazy reason he converted from evangelical Christianity to Roman Catholicism and now attends mass every Saturday and evangelical Christian services with his family – who didn’t convert – on Sunday.
70.
AAA Bonds
I must acknowledge that he is both a dipshit and a dumbfuck, as per my previous statements.
This doesn’t feel too bad, now that I think about it.
He must have found some other way to make the same amount of money as a Republican presidential candidate. Maybe he’s already working on a pilot for Bravo?
Still, I’m sticking to my guns: the smartest thing to do for his future career as a talking head would have been to run and lose against Obama while anyone still remembered who he was.
I don’t keep track of which sect which politician belongs to, but I can’t think of many Southern Catholic Republicans.
Bobby Jindal, my friend.
And Jindal is just like Gingrich: one of those overzealous frothing image-conscious converts who other Catholics view with something between pity and nervousness. Sort of Walter Sobchaks of the Moral Majority.
(If I had to guess, a lot of Louisiana Republican officeholders are probably Catholics.)
72.
IM
I don’t know about the South, but wasn’t Brownback elected in Kansas. And there is Jindal, where the democrats even tried to use anti-catholic prejudices.
My personal dream-candidate short list includes Feingold, Weiner, or Sherrod Brown.
Now that I think about it a bit, Kirsten Gillebrand looks like she could make a fine candidate.
74.
ChrisS
There’s a lot of bad shit that can happen over the next six years whether Obama can mitigate it or not.
Palin is all about the money. She wont run.
75.
mclaren
No surprise. As I’ve repeatedly pointed out, Huckabee’s pardon of a rapist makes him as politically toxic in the Republican party as Ted Kennedy’s Chappaquiddick escapade made him in the Democratic party.
Pawlenty is wayyyyy out of line with the Republican position on abortion (he’s far far too liberal, meaning “sane”) so Pawlenty is toast. Gingrich is a joke and more importantly no one in the Republican party can trust him as far as they can spit (remember that Gingrich was thrown out of his position as Speaker on ethics charges, which for a Rethuglican, is really saying something: does the phrase “84 ethics charges and a $300,000 fine” ring a bell?), Romney is a Mormon and therefore untouchable to the Christian fundamentalist base of the party, and who else is there? Thune? Daniels? Palin’s children have higher name recognition than those guys.
Kirsten Gillebrand looks like she could make a fine candidate.
Bingo. The funny thing about her was when Patterson named her as Hillary’s replacement there was much gnashing of teeth in NY that she was too conservative. I was pretty concerned, but when Hillary immediately came out with her strong support, I figured she knew something we didn’t — no joke, she’s been great.
who the hell was Obama in 2003, or Bill Clinton in ‘87?
Bill Clinton was a one time gov who was running for that office again and gave the keynote at a DLC meeting.
As much as I hate the DLC, they served a purpose in moving players from the AAA to the bigs.
78.
AAA Bonds
Catholics passed through the gate of Republican Protestant acceptance in 1995, when the Baptist evangelical Pat Robertson founded the “Catholic Alliance” to unify right-wing Catholics behind the Christian Coalition.
American Catholics as a group are pretty evenly split between the left and right, but there is clearly a sort of right-wing Catholic with the proper talking points who many Protestant Republicans view as viable for national candidacy.
The only requirement the Republicans have is that the Catholic in question must endorse the cherry-picked views of Bill Donohue, not the (pro-Palestine, pro-environmentalism, pro-worker, pro-immigrant, capitalism-critiquing, anti-death-penalty) views of the Roman Catholic Church.
Personally, I think the idea that Republicans will feel uneasy about a Mormon candidate is overblown, exactly because of this model.
Few conservative American Protestants are interested in their own sects’ wacky theology, much less in nitpicking that of others who say the right thing about abortion and homosexuals and all the other “religious” issues as defined by conservative American Protestantism.
All you need to do to get Republican Baptists to vote for Mormons is to find the right Mormon and run him against a Democrat.
79.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@AAA Bonds: I think it’s Romney’s past progressivism on gay rights and abortion, and the fact that he’s from Mass., which will make his Mormonism suspect to the base, feed on the whole “not one of us” image
Pawlenty is wayyyyy out of line with the Republican position on abortion (he’s far far too liberal, meaning “sane”)
Seriously? I thought he was a fundie’s fundie.
80.
Comrade Darkness
If Erickson were right about something, wouldn’t he immediately lose his job?
Oh and Huckabee said his “heart said no”. I’m guessing he keeps his wallet in his left breast pocket.
81.
dmsilev
Oh Lord. From the NYT story on Huckabee:
John R. Bolton, who said in a brief interview Saturday night that Mr. Huckabee’s announcement made him more likely to start a campaign. “Anyone else considering it has to get serious about it,” he said.
Yeah, it’s his non-LDS views that make him a “scary Mormon” to the Protestants.
The anecdotal shitter of it is, every Mormon I know was raised in a conservative Republican household, they all definitely voted for Obama in 2008, and they’re all definitely voting for Obama in 2012.
Whenever Bolton makes a statement about running, I remember that Dave Barry “1992: Year in Review” headline:
“April: George Herbert Walker Bush admits on television that he tried to smoke marijuana in college, but no one would give him any.”
85.
JCT
@dmsilev: I had been wondering when Bolton would pop out of his spider hole.
Wow, just imagine the fun of those debates. My favorite question will be: “Since we know Obama is too much of a sissy to take care of the Iran problem, what type of nuclear device would you use to keep America safe and how many of those terrible islam-fascists would you hope to kill?
the republicans will have their notice herman cain moment, probably individually, alone, walking to their cars at night, the thought will suddenly come to them, herman cain!
Man, all you guys are forgetting Daniels! He’s the media favorite, so he will be pumped as the frontrunner. Whether he makes it all the way is anyone’s guess, but everyone else sucks pretty bad, so he’s got a good shot (God help us!)
@dogwood:
I agree that Huckabee IS a slick bastard with a shot at the general under normal circumstances. I think that’s why he ain’t runnin’. His odds of beating Obama would be small, and if he lost? That’s it. He’s a has been. He’ll wait until his odds look better or he gets desperate.
@Martin:
Problem with being a VP candidate is that someone has to choose you. Considering how she dragged down McCain’s ticket, refused to be coached or handled, and treated his whole staff like shit… she’s a girl without friends now.
91.
Walter
It’s Huntsmen. They are all waiting for the Billonaire keyboard playing Mormon,with looks that could place him in a erectile dysfunction commercial. This is the man, and with the help of Media,including this blog, he will be elected.
92.
catclub
@Spaghetti Lee: I suspect you have not visited Louisiana lately. Of course, LA is its own sort of weird relative to the rest of the south.
93.
amk
So all of us agree that huntsman is out of the hunt ?
94.
Mike
@amk: I don’t know how he manages to BE in the hunt. He has no natural constituency in the party, and while the GOP is desperate, they aren’t desperate for someone like him… not, yet, at least. They would need a few more presidential losses (or GOP approval completely in the tank) to allow a guy like him to get close to the nomination.
95.
Ghanima Atreides
@amk: Mr League of the South is going full fluffer mode on Huntsman. Look for the rest of the wingnut hitparade to step up.
He is just like Palin. Neither want to take a pay cut.
Or work. Or be accountable for anything.
98.
Ghanima Atreides
@Just Some Fuckhead: Obama is a liberal christian, not an evangelical.
The fundie real christians think liberal christians are worse than mormons.
99.
Yutsano
@Mike: He has a huge Republican no-no on his record. He worked with a Democrat. And not just any Democrat, THAT ONE. That particular sin is downright unforgivable.
“…So one Sunday, I put on one of the few clean jackets I had, and went over to Trinity United Church of Christ on 95th Street on the South Side of Chicago. And I heard Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright deliver a sermon called “The Audacity of Hope.” And during the course of that sermon, he introduced me to someone named Jesus Christ. I learned that my sins could be redeemed. I learned that those things I was too weak to accomplish myself, He would accomplish with me if I placed my trust in Him. And in time, I came to see faith as more than just a comfort to the weary or a hedge against death, but rather as an active, palpable agent in the world and in my own life. It was because of these newfound understandings that I was finally able to walk down the aisle of Trinity one day and affirm my Christian faith. It came about as a choice, and not an epiphany. I didn’t fall out in church, as folks sometimes do. The questions I had didn’t magically disappear. The skeptical bent of my mind didn’t suddenly vanish. But kneeling beneath that cross on the South Side, I felt I heard God’s spirit beckoning me. I submitted myself to His will, and dedicated myself to discovering His truth and carrying out His works…”(3)
Jimmy Carter is an evangelical “born again” Christian, and he is not fundie by any stretch of the imagination.
Carter once said that Jerry Falwell could “go to Hell, in the Christian sense”. Falwell said he couldn’t believe that a “brother in Christ” would say that about him.
Funny how the press never mentions those items about Mr. Idea Man.
105.
JAHILL10
@Spaghetti Lee: I like Brain Swietzer out in Montana, he of literally branding bad bills with a big ole VETO on the state house steps. Completely different style than Obama but he would take no crap from the Repubs, that’s for sure.
General Stuck
Hard to know if they’re coming or going from all those assholes with feets.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’m thinking about throwing my hat into the ring. I was reluctant to do it earlier because there are so many fuckheads already running but none of them is getting any traction.
Can I count on the support of the folks here if I decide to run? I promise to announce my candidacy on this site first.
General Stuck
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Hell yes, we’ll even point you in the right direction,
Hal
My own completely unproven political theory has always been that Mike Huckabee is a bellwether for the Republicans in 2012. If he isn’t running, they aren’t winning. Every other candidate has too many issues.
Yutsano
@Just Some Fuckhead: You’ll have to fight wifey for it. And she has the rusty pitchfork vote locked up.
benintn
Huckabeen.
GregB
I wonder if anyone has put two and two together to realize that the good Reverend Huckabee won’t be on this planet after 5/21? Raptured up to a great presidency in the clouds.
Hunter Gathers
Right now, in a lush lakeside house outside Wasilla, Alaska, a phone is ringing. It’s Destiny, and it wants Sarah Palin to answer it’s call.
Violet
The alt txt on those images is excellent.
PeakVT
I think Obama will win no matter who the Republicans prop up. The House and Senate races are the ones to worry about.
hilts
Don’t rule out Chris Christie:
h/t http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/05/gov_christie_wont_say_if_he_be.html
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@benintn: Heh.
Michelle Bachmann is now unstoppable!
God I hope she and all her crazy get into it.
Martin
I LOLed.
@Hunter Gathers: I figured out that Palin will be a full-time VP candidate. Only one debate to worry about, vastly fewer questions to try and look smart answering. It’s the effort/payoff sweet spot in politics.
mr. whipple
Shit, with Huckster out, who’s gonna pour the Jesus juice?
JCT
Grifters just gotta grift — no time for Presidential campaigns.
What a schmuck Huckleberry is — and hah, no way Gov Bully runs for President. He’s a fucking coward too.
Amir_Khalid
@Yutsano: I’m starting to think she really does stand a serious chance of getting nominated for the Republicans after all …
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
so huckabee did pull a lebron “i’m going to south beach.”
the gop must feel as dejected, and angry as the city of cleveland.
the mama huckabee-delonte west conspiracy theory starts here.
Southern Beale
Oh wow. Huckabye-baybee isn’t running? I blame that lame Reagan cartoon.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@hilts: I haven’t seen much of Christie, but my impression is he won’t play in the South, no matter how hard he thumps the Bible. He’s Newt Gingrich, Richard Nixon and Rudy Giuliani all rolled up into one. That’s not a fat shot, just a fortuitous use of a common figure of speech.
mr. whipple
Palin/Bachmann 2012: It’s a No Brainer
(via Rumproast)
Yutsano
I am surprised y’all are failing to recognize the genius of that great Southern businessman Herman Cain. Of course most Republicans haven’t noticed him much either.
@John Cole: Teh damn Easter eggs. I always ferget to look for teh damn Easter Eggs.
John Cole
@Violet: Thx for noticing. I appreciate it when people catch the little things I throw into posts just to see if folks catch them.
harry
He is just like Palin. Neither want to take a pay cut.
BGinCHI
Maybe they should just run the Toyota Frontrunner.
Maude
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Atrios has Chrisite’s poll numbers. 56% unfavorable and 38% favorable. He’s gone down rapidly and he will keep going down. It would be great if he ran in the primaries and the entire state of NJ voted against him.
Christie said Creationisim could be taught in public schools. Wrong.
Fred
So did he blame the liberal media bias? Or Bin Laden for having porn? Someone always has to be to blame for their short comings.
The Dangerman
I called Hucks; now, I’m calling Daniels. He doesn’t run, either. It’ll be Pawlenty, by default, unless Christie gets drafted.
Palin could win the nomination, but The Big Money will kneecap her to keep her out of the race (she would set new standards in epic fail if she was nominated).
MikeJ
@John Cole: I’d like to stay and drink my first champagne[1][2]
Yes?
[1] Third of the night to be honest.
[2] Not actually champers. Gin.
Allan
Huckabee choked, the chicken.
Frank
Jokers, clowns and booger eaters…
jrg
@Maude:
Of the remaining potential GOP presidential candidates, who polls highest?
I cannot think of one they could run that might win the general election without the economy completely tanking first.
Yutsano
@The Dangerman: So will T-Paw. Outside of Minnesota virtually no one has heard of him. The big names either aren’t running or have about the same chance of surviving a primary as a formed sphere of snow in Hades. He would have to cover a shit ton of ground just to even get to 40% name recognition. I’m going with either Bachmann or
Bible Spice. Dark horse: Jeb.
dogwood
This is good news for Obama. Huckabee is a slick bastard; comes across like a nice populist. Guys like Pawlenty and Romney have to work a bit at being assholes so they come across as wooden and inauthentic. Palin and Gingrich are authentically mean and it’s obvious to a majority of voters. Huckabee is as mean and lowdown and Sarah and Newt, but he’s crafted a nice guy, comfortable in his own skin image that a majority of voters have bought into. For that reason he’s always scared me a bit. I wonder if he ever really was serious about the presidency, even in 2008. Running and teasing about running again has been a lucrative gig for him. In that respect he’s just like Palin, but my guess is in the long run he’ll make more money than her. In terms of being a TV personality or a speechifier, he’s got way more talent than she does.
JCT
@BGinCHI: It would probably give the best stump speech of any of them.
@Maude:
Could happen, friends of mine in NJ hate him with a passion — honest to g_d frothing at the mouth. It’s almost fun to get them going until I realize they might have an MI. Yeah, well, if anyone subsequently *asked* him if he said something like that he would bluster and yell and blame others. His usual MO when caught lying. Pond scum, that guy.
mr. whipple
Maybe there’s still time to get Duhnold a special exemption?
Rommie
@Yutsano: Yep, I was thinking Jeb too and got down to your post. The carpet’s all rolled out for him now, and all he has to do is walk the aisle and “save” the Republican Party.
The Dangerman
@Yutsano:
He’ll have to change his name; no way a Bush gets elected in 2012.
I could see Bachmann getting nominated; Bible Spice is too well known and too hated from being too well known.
2012 is going to be boring at the top of the ticket; if the Media wants a Horse Race, they’re just this side of fucked.
Obama is one lucky Dude; Ryan’s uberhot Hollywood wife isn’t enough for him and has to drop out. McCain. Perhaps Bachmann. The First Dude’s doing something right.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Barring something earth shattering, I’d bet today that the Republican will not win NJ in the general in November, ’12.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Rommie: If Romney can’t be the Republican nominee because he’s Mormon, how does Jeb ever pull it off as a Catholic?
mcd410x
@John Cole:
Goodnight, goodnight: Always was partial to that tune.
JC, have you tried Moonlight White from Upton Tea? Pricey (they ought to give you a cut!) but really nice.
Maude
@JCT:
I am so glad to hear that. Tell them they have company as I agree with them. The NJ radio station is constantly supporting Christie.
He has lost a Lot of money for this state. The starting up the mall again is so stupid and I hope it gets blocked.
He has hinted that he won’t follow court rulings.
It could get to the point where the people of NJ make him resign.
Iowa can have him.
jrg
@mr. whipple:
I found this.
If this is true, the only remaining GOP contenders that are not underwater in terms of favorable/unfavorable are Romney and Ron Paul. I don’t think either can win the primaries.
I don’t want to speak too soon, because the economy could cause problems for Obama if it gets worse, but if it doesn’t, we could be looking at a Reagan v Mondale scale ass-whipping.
Roger Moore
The Republicans aren’t searching for a frontrunner. They’re searching for somebody, anybody other than Multiple Choice Mitt to be the frontrunner.
mr. whipple
Agreed. I think this is why the states are throwing up so many wingnutty ballot issues for 2012: keep the wingers heated up enough to show and vote in 2012 so the whole party doesn’t get an epic beatdown. They sure as hell ain’t gonna be motivated to come out for the presidential with the current slate of losers.
Yutsano
@Rommie: @The Dangerman: Jeb has a huge Dubya problem. Not to mention his very Mexican wife will make him poison in a wingnut primary. He’d be in the immigration trap: too much in favor of reform and he’s letting his wife influence him, too far the other way and the hypocrisy of a foreign wife comes to the fore. And that’s just one issue. Not to mention he has a pretty crappy record in Florida to work against as well. Jeb has too many net negatives to even think about it.
WHAT. KIND. OF. A. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. CHEATS. ON. SEVEN. OF. NINE?? Not to mention the fact Jeri Ryan is like uber nice in person.
IM
Romney by default.
Someone has to win the nomination, after all.
Rommie
@Just Some Fuckhead: I don’t think Jeb is dumb enough to accept the offer when he has better chances in 2016, but it’s there for the taking. His last name and the star power it would have with them would cause an outbreak of fluffing long remembered.
jrg
@mr. whipple:
Yeah, but the tea party favorability polls are underwater and dropping, too. I suspected that this “Taxed Enough Already” nonsense would end as soon as the GOP threatened to touch the third rail.
I’m just dying to know what’s going to happen here… Is the base going to cave with a milquetoast candidate like Romney (which I doubt), or double-down on the crazy?
I really think the power brokers might be losing control of the party. If that’s true, we might see peak wingnut in 2012.
Yutsano
@IM: If they put up Romney there will be a third party Teabilly candidate. No question. They cannot tolerate the Mormon cult.
JCT
@IM: Just imagine the Romney vs Obama debates when the HCR comes up, it will be like Obama and the Fly all over again.
Besides, the batshit crazy 27% will not vote for the magic underwear guy with tons of formerly reasonable views.
IM
@Yutsano:
They will take the mormon over the muslim. Most don’t understand the doctrine anyway. (The number of christians who understand the trinity is quite limited).
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@JCT: @IM:
and civil unions, and choice, and the environment, probably half a dozen other issues… I can just see that frozen JC Penny model smile and the thin film of flopsweat on that giant-ass forehead
IM
And Romney will just lie about his former views. There will be no strong republican who can challenge him on health care. As soon as he reaches the general, he is home and dry: The press will cover up everything, after all he is a fellow plutocrat.
The Dangerman
@IM:
They will stay home and sit on their hands; I don’t think there are enough anti-Sharia Law initiatives to bring them out if Romney is the candidate.
Is it too early to start pondering 2016? Hillary will be 68. Does Michelle O. want to swap places with the hubby?
JCT
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: It’s just way too easy — Obama runs saying “I do exactly what I say I will do…. HCR, DADT, OBL– who knows what Romney will do since he can’t seem to make up his mind on any given day”. This of course will be followed by repeated “death hugs”. Hilarity.
And OMG, the Wall Street Journal Editorial Page will just lose it’s shit every day of the campaign, their dislike of Romney knows no bounds.
gnomedad
@The Dangerman:
Republicans who are into conspiracy should be looking for Obama moles in the GOP candidate selection process, not scrutinizing kerning on birth certificates.
Yutsano
@IM:
In numerous churches all over the country but especially in the South the preachings against Mormonism and the followers of said faith are taught as complete heresy and Mormons are to be derided and shunned. That won’t simply melt away just because the Republicans put one up as their standard bearer.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Yutsano: I like to think in a matchup between Romney and Obama, the evangelical Christian voters will vote for the evangelical Christian candidate, Obama. But I’ve been surprised before.
MikeJ
@IM: I grew up in the south among fundies. I keep hearing from people who have never met one (but have read all about them on the interwebs) that fundies won’t vote for a mormon. I know these people. Religion doesn’t actually mean anything to them. It’s all tribalism, and Obama is much more not of their tribe than Romney.
Jesus, Romney has fundie hair. Half of them will be reminded of the slick preacher they had at the last revival.
Here’s the question for those of us on the left: I don’t care about what sort of supernatural nonsense anybody believes. I understand that whoever gets elected is going to believe something stupid in that area. Is it right or wrong for those of us who want to separate religion from politics to inform low information fundies what it is that mormons believe (Jesus is from outer space and will give you your own planet to be god over if you don’t drink coffee.
Roger Moore
@Yutsano:
He didn’t cheat on her. He just tried to bully her into having exhibitionist sex in sex clubs. I don’t remember if it was that he wanted to have sex with her in the clubs, watch her have sex with other men, or some of each. But it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Anoniminous
Previous to the announcement the top three where:
Huckabee
Romney
Palin
Huck’s out.
Going by 2008 results and the poll @jrg linked to Romney has to be considered the Front Runner. I have doubts he’ll make it through the South. In 2008 his best showings was a 2nd place in Florida and West Virginia; he came in third in Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Maryland.
I don’t think Palin is going to get in the race and if she does she isn’t going to win. When 58% of her own party “would not vote for” she’s dog meat. (Note Trump has the same problem.)
Everybody else is slopping along under 10% except for Paul who is at 10%.
Have to see where the Huckster voters end-up before making any kind of call.
Richard Fox
A geranium would make a better leader than any of these right wing conservative fools. What a mess they make of everything they get their greasy hands on.
rikyrah
Jeb has a Mexican wife and a dopehead thief for a daughter.
fun times, people.
Jeb’s waiting until 2016.
But, the GOP is definitely in search of their GREAT WHITE HOPE.
IM
@Yutsano:
But according to Jack Chick tracts catholics are satanists too. And yet a lot of catholic republican politicians get elected. Do you think Santorum or Gingrich would have the same problem? And if that is so obvious, what are Huntsman and Romney thinking? (And Romney sen.?)
Yutsano
@Roger Moore: It was my understanding he was doing it without her then tried talking her into it. I admit my recollection is fuzzy.
@IM:
Santorum was elected in Pennsylvania which is also heavily Catholic. Newt converted long after he was out of office. I do however foresee that conversion as a potential liability since now technically he left the True Faith. Plus both have huge drawbacks outside of their religion to contend with.
Spaghetti Lee
@The Dangerman:
Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama are both wonderful people, but I’m really not crazy about the prospect of the last 5 presidents being from 3 families. My personal dream-candidate short list includes Feingold, Weiner, or Sherrod Brown. But I bet it will end up being someone no one’s heard of now (who the hell was Obama in 2003, or Bill Clinton in ’87?
IM
@MikeJ:
I couldn’t do it. I would start to inform them on the mythology of Galactica…
Spaghetti Lee
And yet a lot of catholic republican politicians get elected. Do you think Santorum or Gingrich would have the same problem?
But in the South? I don’t keep track of which sect which politician belongs to, but I can’t think of many Southern Catholic Republicans.
Just Some Fuckhead
@IM: Brownback would already be President but for some crazy reason he converted from evangelical Christianity to Roman Catholicism and now attends mass every Saturday and evangelical Christian services with his family – who didn’t convert – on Sunday.
AAA Bonds
I must acknowledge that he is both a dipshit and a dumbfuck, as per my previous statements.
This doesn’t feel too bad, now that I think about it.
He must have found some other way to make the same amount of money as a Republican presidential candidate. Maybe he’s already working on a pilot for Bravo?
Still, I’m sticking to my guns: the smartest thing to do for his future career as a talking head would have been to run and lose against Obama while anyone still remembered who he was.
AAA Bonds
@Spaghetti Lee:
Bobby Jindal, my friend.
And Jindal is just like Gingrich: one of those overzealous frothing image-conscious converts who other Catholics view with something between pity and nervousness. Sort of Walter Sobchaks of the Moral Majority.
(If I had to guess, a lot of Louisiana Republican officeholders are probably Catholics.)
IM
I don’t know about the South, but wasn’t Brownback elected in Kansas. And there is Jindal, where the democrats even tried to use anti-catholic prejudices.
The Dangerman
@Spaghetti Lee:
Now that I think about it a bit, Kirsten Gillebrand looks like she could make a fine candidate.
ChrisS
There’s a lot of bad shit that can happen over the next six years whether Obama can mitigate it or not.
Palin is all about the money. She wont run.
mclaren
No surprise. As I’ve repeatedly pointed out, Huckabee’s pardon of a rapist makes him as politically toxic in the Republican party as Ted Kennedy’s Chappaquiddick escapade made him in the Democratic party.
Pawlenty is wayyyyy out of line with the Republican position on abortion (he’s far far too liberal, meaning “sane”) so Pawlenty is toast. Gingrich is a joke and more importantly no one in the Republican party can trust him as far as they can spit (remember that Gingrich was thrown out of his position as Speaker on ethics charges, which for a Rethuglican, is really saying something: does the phrase “84 ethics charges and a $300,000 fine” ring a bell?), Romney is a Mormon and therefore untouchable to the Christian fundamentalist base of the party, and who else is there? Thune? Daniels? Palin’s children have higher name recognition than those guys.
JCT
@The Dangerman:
Bingo. The funny thing about her was when Patterson named her as Hillary’s replacement there was much gnashing of teeth in NY that she was too conservative. I was pretty concerned, but when Hillary immediately came out with her strong support, I figured she knew something we didn’t — no joke, she’s been great.
MikeJ
@Spaghetti Lee:
Bill Clinton was a one time gov who was running for that office again and gave the keynote at a DLC meeting.
As much as I hate the DLC, they served a purpose in moving players from the AAA to the bigs.
AAA Bonds
Catholics passed through the gate of Republican Protestant acceptance in 1995, when the Baptist evangelical Pat Robertson founded the “Catholic Alliance” to unify right-wing Catholics behind the Christian Coalition.
American Catholics as a group are pretty evenly split between the left and right, but there is clearly a sort of right-wing Catholic with the proper talking points who many Protestant Republicans view as viable for national candidacy.
The only requirement the Republicans have is that the Catholic in question must endorse the cherry-picked views of Bill Donohue, not the (pro-Palestine, pro-environmentalism, pro-worker, pro-immigrant, capitalism-critiquing, anti-death-penalty) views of the Roman Catholic Church.
Personally, I think the idea that Republicans will feel uneasy about a Mormon candidate is overblown, exactly because of this model.
Few conservative American Protestants are interested in their own sects’ wacky theology, much less in nitpicking that of others who say the right thing about abortion and homosexuals and all the other “religious” issues as defined by conservative American Protestantism.
All you need to do to get Republican Baptists to vote for Mormons is to find the right Mormon and run him against a Democrat.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@AAA Bonds: I think it’s Romney’s past progressivism on gay rights and abortion, and the fact that he’s from Mass., which will make his Mormonism suspect to the base, feed on the whole “not one of us” image
Seriously? I thought he was a fundie’s fundie.
Comrade Darkness
If Erickson were right about something, wouldn’t he immediately lose his job?
Oh and Huckabee said his “heart said no”. I’m guessing he keeps his wallet in his left breast pocket.
dmsilev
Oh Lord. From the NYT story on Huckabee:
Bolton. For when Bachman isn’t crazy enough.
AAA Bonds
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Yeah, it’s his non-LDS views that make him a “scary Mormon” to the Protestants.
The anecdotal shitter of it is, every Mormon I know was raised in a conservative Republican household, they all definitely voted for Obama in 2008, and they’re all definitely voting for Obama in 2012.
They’re truly the new American Catholics.
Just Some Fuckhead
@dmsilev:
I welcome a Preznit Pornstache.
AAA Bonds
@dmsilev:
Whenever Bolton makes a statement about running, I remember that Dave Barry “1992: Year in Review” headline:
“April: George Herbert Walker Bush admits on television that he tried to smoke marijuana in college, but no one would give him any.”
JCT
@dmsilev: I had been wondering when Bolton would pop out of his spider hole.
Wow, just imagine the fun of those debates. My favorite question will be: “Since we know Obama is too much of a sissy to take care of the Iran problem, what type of nuclear device would you use to keep America safe and how many of those terrible islam-fascists would you hope to kill?
It could happen.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Yutsano:
the republicans will have their notice herman cain moment, probably individually, alone, walking to their cars at night, the thought will suddenly come to them, herman cain!
AAA Bonds
@Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal:
LOL
Mike
Man, all you guys are forgetting Daniels! He’s the media favorite, so he will be pumped as the frontrunner. Whether he makes it all the way is anyone’s guess, but everyone else sucks pretty bad, so he’s got a good shot (God help us!)
Yutsano
@Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: You forgot the starbursts, otherwise you’re pretty much spot on there.
Frankensteinbeck (The ex-Uloborus)
@dogwood:
I agree that Huckabee IS a slick bastard with a shot at the general under normal circumstances. I think that’s why he ain’t runnin’. His odds of beating Obama would be small, and if he lost? That’s it. He’s a has been. He’ll wait until his odds look better or he gets desperate.
@Martin:
Problem with being a VP candidate is that someone has to choose you. Considering how she dragged down McCain’s ticket, refused to be coached or handled, and treated his whole staff like shit… she’s a girl without friends now.
Walter
It’s Huntsmen. They are all waiting for the Billonaire keyboard playing Mormon,with looks that could place him in a erectile dysfunction commercial. This is the man, and with the help of Media,including this blog, he will be elected.
catclub
@Spaghetti Lee: I suspect you have not visited Louisiana lately. Of course, LA is its own sort of weird relative to the rest of the south.
amk
So all of us agree that huntsman is out of the hunt ?
Mike
@amk: I don’t know how he manages to BE in the hunt. He has no natural constituency in the party, and while the GOP is desperate, they aren’t desperate for someone like him… not, yet, at least. They would need a few more presidential losses (or GOP approval completely in the tank) to allow a guy like him to get close to the nomination.
Ghanima Atreides
@amk: Mr League of the South is going full fluffer mode on Huntsman. Look for the rest of the wingnut hitparade to step up.
robertdsc-PowerBook
@Spaghetti Lee:
The lovely Kirsten Gillibrand?
James E. Powell
@harry:
Or work. Or be accountable for anything.
Ghanima Atreides
@Just Some Fuckhead: Obama is a liberal christian, not an evangelical.
The fundie real christians think liberal christians are worse than mormons.
Yutsano
@Mike: He has a huge Republican no-no on his record. He worked with a Democrat. And not just any Democrat, THAT ONE. That particular sin is downright unforgivable.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ghanima Atreides:
He’s an evangelical Christian. Obama:
“…So one Sunday, I put on one of the few clean jackets I had, and went over to Trinity United Church of Christ on 95th Street on the South Side of Chicago. And I heard Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright deliver a sermon called “The Audacity of Hope.” And during the course of that sermon, he introduced me to someone named Jesus Christ. I learned that my sins could be redeemed. I learned that those things I was too weak to accomplish myself, He would accomplish with me if I placed my trust in Him. And in time, I came to see faith as more than just a comfort to the weary or a hedge against death, but rather as an active, palpable agent in the world and in my own life. It was because of these newfound understandings that I was finally able to walk down the aisle of Trinity one day and affirm my Christian faith. It came about as a choice, and not an epiphany. I didn’t fall out in church, as folks sometimes do. The questions I had didn’t magically disappear. The skeptical bent of my mind didn’t suddenly vanish. But kneeling beneath that cross on the South Side, I felt I heard God’s spirit beckoning me. I submitted myself to His will, and dedicated myself to discovering His truth and carrying out His works…”(3)
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ghanima Atreides:
Fundamentalists are a small subset of evangelical Christians.
Villago Delenda Est
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Jimmy Carter is an evangelical “born again” Christian, and he is not fundie by any stretch of the imagination.
Carter once said that Jerry Falwell could “go to Hell, in the Christian sense”. Falwell said he couldn’t believe that a “brother in Christ” would say that about him.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Villago Delenda Est:
I’m sure Falwell did just that.
Suffern ACE
@mclaren:
Funny how the press never mentions those items about Mr. Idea Man.
JAHILL10
@Spaghetti Lee: I like Brain Swietzer out in Montana, he of literally branding bad bills with a big ole VETO on the state house steps. Completely different style than Obama but he would take no crap from the Repubs, that’s for sure.
huckster
@MikeJ: