HAHAHAHA MICHAEL MOORE IS FAT

The Fonzi of Freedom makes a funny:

Wooh, boy! Get it? Michael Moore is fat! HYSTERICAL! Take a sweet tweet on Mother’s Day and use it to call someone fat! Genius! How does the Fonz come up with all this fresh material? Must be hanging around with all those comedic giants at Red Eye.

Seriously- is there a bigger douchebag in print?

90 replies
  1. 1
    Hill Dweller says:

    Michael Moore can lose some weight he if so chooses, but Gillespie can’t cure his mental illness/esteem issues.

  2. 2
    Sirkowski says:

    What a douche.

  3. 3
    Jim C. says:

    As if more proof was needed that Republicans aren’t only WRONG on every issue out there, but they’re genuinely evil jerks as well.

  4. 4
    Mike G says:

    From Wikipedia:
    Gillespie worked for several years at Teen Machine magazine, where he interviewed celebrities and ghost-wrote an advice column for actress Alyssa Milano

    His Douchebag Rating just went up several notches.

  5. 5
    ant says:

    I still dont get it when it comes to twitter.

    Why would i want to read tweets again? From anybody…..

    I dont get it. I dont even understand the tweet from this post.

    what?

  6. 6
    Judas Escargot says:

    I hear that leather jackets can be quite slimming.

  7. 7
    Ricahrd S says:

    No – this has been another lesson in …

  8. 8

    I just told Fonzi on Twitter that he’s as funny as Dennis Miller.

  9. 9
    Doug Harlan J says:

    Is Radley Balko going to attack us for making of the Fonz again?

  10. 10
    Josie says:

    For a really well documented history of the Bush administration’s failure to stop the 9/11 attacks and failure to respond appropriately, read this on Kos.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/.....-bin-Laden

  11. 11
    300baud says:

    John, thank you for continuing to call out bullshit like this.

  12. 12
    sb says:

    Who is Nick Gillespie? Wasn’t he married to Jessica Simpson?

    See, I thought I knew most of the wingnut hacks out there. When friends and family want to know about Powerline, KLo, Jonah, Breitbart, et. al., they ask me. Tomorrow, I may be asked about Nick Gillespie.

    Who the hell is he and more importantly, why is he a bigger douchebag than say, any other wingnut hack? I’m grateful for any and all responses. Thanks in advance…

  13. 13
    sb says:

    @ant: One of my colleagues was wearing a shirt on casual Friday (high school teacher) that I liked. It read, “Tweets are for birds.” Amen.

  14. 14
  15. 15
    mr. whipple says:

    Seriously- is there a bigger douchebag in print?

    Dunno. It’s not like there’s a shortage of competition.

  16. 16
    Yutsano says:

    @Doug Harlan J: Either ur link or Wonkette no work. U fix if U can.

  17. 17
    JonF says:

    Sully told the same joke at a cocktail party where Paul Ryan was the centerpiece.

  18. 18
    Graeme says:

    The funniest thing about this is Michael Moore is running his own vanity projects.

    Nick Gillespie is running only one of many Koch Brothers vanity projects.

    OK: none of it is all that funny.

  19. 19
    Doug Harlan J says:

    @Yutsano:

    It works when I click it.

    EDIT: Just in case, here is another link.

    SECOND EDIT: I see, your browser doesn’t like the spaces wonkette put in. I will alter the link.

  20. 20
    South of I-10 says:

    Stay classy, Nick Gallespie.

  21. 21
    David Moyes says:

    I think he truly believes he looks like Nick Cave in that jacket. Calling him Fonzie is perfect, because he does look very much like the Fonz in those later episodes when Henry Winkler was way too old for the part.

  22. 22
    Yutsano says:

    @Doug Harlan J: There we go, thanks DougJ. Nice pot there kettle.

  23. 23
    MikeJ says:

    @Mike G: It just lowered my opinion of Alyssa Milano. Not like I thought she was great or anything. I knew nothing about her except she was in some cheesy movies, and hey, nothing wrong with making a buck. But hiring Fonzie? Ugh.

  24. 24
    darkmatter says:

    @Doug Harlan J:

    That picture cinches it alright. Does this jackass wear that crappy ass jacket everywhere he goes?

  25. 25
  26. 26

    I guess I should feel good that I don’t know who the fuck Nick Gillespie is.

  27. 27
    Martin says:

    If the free market didn’t approve of the joke, it would never have existed.

  28. 28
    Joel says:

    Nick Gillespie is the Andrew Bynum of untalented, libertarian bloggers.

  29. 29
    Scott says:

    Why do I suspect that Nick Gillespie isn’t allowed at his mother’s home anymore after she caught him stealing from her purse?

  30. 30

    By the way, Buddha was fat. FWIW.

  31. 31
    kdaug says:

    Overweight is a condition, but asshole is permanent.

  32. 32
    Martin says:

    @Linda Featheringill: Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without pork-n-beans.

  33. 33
    dj spellchecka says:

    since “al gore is fat” proves the myth of global warming….nick’s just repeating it in another context….

  34. 34
    different church-lady says:

    If it’s true that Twitter makes smart people stupid (and it is) then what does it make Gillespie?

  35. 35

    @kth:

    i think of sassy’ magazines epic of long form journalism, “how to flirt like an animal” every time i see dogs say hello by sniffing each other’s butts.

    although, i think in fairness to alyssan milano, who can blame her for mailing it in, so to speak, on a project known as “teen machine”. i am guessing she didn’t ask for, nor receive, much editorial control.

  36. 36

    @Joel: the invisible cold dead hand of soupy sales?

  37. 37
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Fat people get a raw meal.

  38. 38
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Sorry, I meant deal.

  39. 39
    Anton Sirius says:

    @MikeJ:

    I seriously doubt Milano did the hiring on that one.

  40. 40
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    But don’t you see, Moore’s weight is a strain on his TAX DOLLARS, which totally justifies any and all actions taken to shame and ridicule…

    Wow. Libertarianism really can justify any amount of douchebaggery! No wonder so many hateful, immature men-children are attracted to it .

  41. 41
    g says:

    Aw. I bet Nick’s mom is proud of him.

  42. 42
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Doug Harlan J: From that pic, looks like Teh Fonzi of Freedom adhers to the white male douchebag version of the high-school prom queen trick: Choose a balding guy in a my-mom-made-me-wear-this sweater to stand next to, and you’ll look even cooler in comparison!

  43. 43
    Jamie says:

    “Gillespie worked for several years at Teen Machine magazine”

    Ah, his career makes a lot more sense now. He was born to be a courtier.

    After his dreams of writing on his own terms die, he’s too old to entertain rich teabaggers on cruises, and the Kochs don’t need him anymore, he can serve people richer than him in other ways. Like bringing Rand Paul’s his bong, and then taking Rand Paul’s bedpan away.

  44. 44
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Southern Beale: Fonzi of Freedom gets two lines in the BJ Lexicon, which is quite as much as he deserves. Right between ‘firebagger’ and ‘freeper’!

  45. 45
    Judas Escargot says:

    @Doug Harlan J:

    Alas, even leather has its limits.

    But why is Kelsey Grammar wearing a reindeer sweater at a Fourth of July party?

  46. 46
    Jaim says:

    Christ, what an asshole.

  47. 47
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @Doug Harlan J:

    I like how the file name there is “Nick Gillespie et al.” No one else matters when they’re in the presence of the Fonz!

  48. 48
    SFAW says:

    Right between ‘firebagger’ and ‘freeper’!

    And a mere ruble’s-throw from “fuckwit”, “flaming asshole”, and “felcher”.

    You guys (well, John, I guess) should consider a new group on the sidebar: “Douchebags We Monitor And Mock As Needed”. Of course, when it comes to Teh Wingnutz, that might be a pretty long list – far longer than BWMAMAN.

  49. 49
    Church Lady says:

    Given the insults John Cole hurls with gusto on an almost daily basis at anyone that has pissed him off in any way… Who gives a shit if one asshole insults another? And Michael Moore is really fat. But, at least he doesn’t wear a ratty black leather jacket every day. Instead, he wears a stupid baseball cap.

  50. 50
    BattleCat says:

    Michael Moore is kind of fat.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    He is kind of fat, though. So, you know, I was thinking, how’s he so fat? Is it because of what he eats, does he need to exercise more?

    What I’m thinking is, you know, he’s fat because he’s lazy, that’d be my guess. You don’t see him moving around a lot. Maybe fat is like sand in the bottom of a glass of water, and once its settled there it doesn’t do a lot of moving around even if you swirl the glass.

    So maybe Michael Moore let all his fat settle.

  51. 51
    Yutsano says:

    @BattleCat: Commenting while drunk/stoned is dangerous.

  52. 52
    SFAW says:

    But, at least he doesn’t wear a ratty black leather jacket every day. Instead, he wears a stupid baseball cap.

    It’s probably just me being an asshole or something, but: I don’t get the impression that Michael Moore is overly impressed with his own looks. Whereas Gillespie, with his omnipresent faux-Naugahyde jacket, seems to be. Or, as Cole says, edgy and hip. Of course, I know 70-year-olds who are edgier and hipper than someone who think “Michael Moore is fat!” is cutting edge.

    Edit: Or, in Sarah’s case, 92-year-olds. (Sorry for forgetting you, missy!)

  53. 53
    piratedan says:

    @Josie: ty Josie, that was an excellently sourced take down timeline wise of the incredible FAIL of the W era, and to think, he managed to screw the pooch on both of the main pillars or Republicanism, fiscal conservatism and national defense. Has there ever been a man who failed to rise to the challenges of his times?

  54. 54
    Tim, Interrupted says:

    Cole, you spend way too much time on Twitter.

  55. 55
    SFAW says:

    Has there ever been a man who failed to rise to the challenges of his times?

    You mean outside of the Kenyan-commie-fascist-Mooslim usurper?

  56. 56
    PanurgeATL says:

    But he wrote for Suck! He must be hip! :-P

  57. 57

    @SFAW:

    That’s alright, dear. Sometimes I forget I’m 92 as well.

  58. 58
    SFAW says:

    But he wrote for Suck! He must be hip!

    I think you had a FYWP moment, because I’m sure that you meant to write “What he writes Sucks!”

  59. 59
    Can't Be Bothered says:

    @Church Lady: @BattleCat:

    fuck you both.

  60. 60
    Doug Harlan J says:

    @Church Lady:

    You swear a lot for a Church Lady, you know?

  61. 61
    sidhra says:

    Ross Douthat’s right up there in the douchebag assortment, but this is pretty special.

  62. 62
    SFAW says:

    You swear a lot for a Church Lady, you know?

    Post-surgery hormone therapy will do that.

  63. 63
    PanurgeATL says:

    @SFAW:

    Heh. Here he is provisionally taking down David Frum (but talking up Tom Wolfe in the process):

    http://www.suck.com/daily/2000/04/28/

  64. 64
    Cato the Censor says:

    Anyone who has ever been on the staff of Reason Magazine is a total, irredeemable jerk, if for no other reason than they caught cooties from Ronald Bailey. That goes for Dave Weigel too.

  65. 65
    Steeplejack says:

    @Anton Sirius:

    I seriously doubt Milano had anything to do with the project except allow her name to be used and cash a check for the privilege.

  66. 66
    Mike G says:

    Anyone who has ever been on the staff of Reason Magazine is a total, irredeemable jerk

    Writing for Teen Machine has more journalistic credibility. Gillespie even aspired to write for Tiger Beat in the prestigious Justin Bieber Bureau someday, but alas the market spoke and he had to settle for Reason.

  67. 67
    opie_jeanne says:

    I’m tired so it took me a while to figure out how this tweet even made any sense.

    Seems very mean-spirited. It puts me in mind of the mindless bullying I encountered in HS.

  68. 68
    opie_jeanne says:

    @Cato the Censor: I know two people who write for Reason, but I only know them on a baseball blog. Thankfully, politics is supposed to be off limits there.

  69. 69
    Malron aka eclecticbrotha says:

    If Republicans have such a problem with fatness, why do they go all fanboy for pigheaded fucks like Haley Barbour, Rush Limbaugh and Chris Christie, all three of which look like their necks are baking bread in their shirt collars whenever they put on a suit?

  70. 70
    zach says:

    Michael Moore’s fat, but Gillespie’s at least 20 or 30 pounds overweight himself (despite his slimming fashion sense). Glass houses and all that.

  71. 71
    BattleCat says:

    @Can’t Be Bothered:

    I agree completely. My mind, too, once reeled with the possibilities, but ultimately I came to the correct conclusion after a long nap.

    Frankly, once you think about the issue for awhile, it seems almost undeniable.

  72. 72
    Dongo says:

    I generally side with Radley Balko with the little feuds you two so often have, but he always loses me when he defends this guy. Maybe now that he’s no longer at Reason that tribal affiliation with fade.

  73. 73
    Gina says:

    @Yutsano: I think BattleCat needs to be made a front pager.

  74. 74
    Baron Jrod of Keeblershire says:

    @BattleCat: Yeah, Michael Moore is just lazy. I mean, the guy’s only produced and directed eight feature films and three TV series. And he’s only written three books! What a slacker that guy is.

    I’m sure his meager achievements just ain’t shit next to the great things you’re created and achieved, BattleCat. Why don’t you share some of the awesome things you’re accomplished with us? Surely a person whose greatest claim to fame is trolling a B political blog wouldn’t start calling highly productive people lazy unless he were himself a highly productive person.

    It just stands to reason. Can’t wait to hear your stories!

  75. 75
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @SFAW:

    I didn’t know they used hormones after a brainectomy.

    Ya lurn somtin’ nu ebry dey!

  76. 76
    BattleCat says:

    @Baron Jrod of Keeblershire:

    There’s no reason to hate on Michael Moore, man. In Africa, fat people are their most beloved, because the more corpulent one is, the more riches and bitches they have. So you know if you’ve got an extra roll here or there, that’s really tops to them.

    If Michael Moore moved to Africa I think he’d have a really great time of it, in all seriousness. Nice weather, nobody’s mean to fat people, he’s white so there’s that too.

    Pretty good deal, I think.

  77. 77
    Cerberus says:

    @BattleCat:

    It is always affirming to realize that all wingnut attempts at “humor” are just humor-lacking forms of outright bullying.

    Whether it is the “ha ha bigoted stereotype” gaffe that is defended later as “I was only kidding”, the passive-aggressive misdirection of an “algoreisfat” in all of its incarnations, or just a straight-up middle school “find a weakness and bring the mean girl routine” attempted beatdown, it always has the same inability to discern humor from bullying.

    And that more than anything affirms that I’m likely on the right side.

    Oh sure, there’s the wealth of history, the scope of reality, and the moral high ground of the arguments that confirm it, but that first signpost is often that the other side is made up of small-minded bullies who think “hur hur, he’s fat and he cares about weaklings” is somehow a) a joke and b) not something that demonstrates the other pathetic lack of personal pride that is fundamental to their need to lash out.

    Yup, Battlecat, your demonstration of ignorance of an entire continent of people, your proud brave stance of essentially picking on the fat kid (seriously, what are you 13? Grow the fuck up or get some psychiatric help, because damnitt, son, it’s not healthy to act like a middle school bully in your fucking 20s, I don’t care how drunk and miserable you are.), and of course the need to back up Nick fucking Gillespe, does a lot to demonstrate in the clearest emotional terms, why I will always feel confident at opposing you spoiled man-children.

    So, for you and your icon, get a real job, get a haircut, and throw away the leather jacket because it makes you look like a tosser and most of all, grow the fuck up.

    It ain’t middle school anymore and frankly, even back then, the only reason your lackeys laughed at your “jokes” is because they wanted to stay in the “clique”. You were never funny. You were never brave. And you know it.

    So yeah, repeat bigoted ignorant hogswollop, take a few swipes at the easy target, try and make people’s live a little worse in the vain hope that it’ll stop passing you by and making you feel small. That it will give some false sense of control over your trainwreck of a life.

    Cause it won’t. And every time you fall into this trap, you just reveal more of yourself. And I don’t need to tell you what that’s like, because I think we both know the case…

    And frankly, it’s also why the only action you seem to get is pity fucks.

  78. 78
    Yutsano says:

    @Cerberus: :: applause ::

  79. 79

    Heavens. I need to lie down with a cooling pillow after that.

  80. 80
    BattleCat says:

    @Cerberus:

    I’ll tell you the same thing I told, uh, what’s his face, earlier: no reason to hate fat people. You may not like’em, and that’s, like, fine, but that’s no reason to call them names and everything, you know? Like I said, some of those cultures, they revere the slightly overweight, so you gotta keep things in perspective when you’re making fun of people’s weight, you know?

  81. 81
    Jay Schiavone says:

    You know who else is fat? Roger Ailes! Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

  82. 82
    Moonbatman says:

    Seriously- is there a bigger douchebag in print?

    Now we can show our moral and comedic superiority by having Tbogg or Sadly No! hilariously photoshopping a picture of him having sex with some inanimate object.

    I am sure all here would agree.
    Peace Out. The Power is Yours. Free Crystal Mangum.

  83. 83
    Moonbatman says:

    @Jamie:

    After his dreams of writing on his own terms die, he’s too old to entertain rich teabaggers on cruises, and the Kochs don’t need him anymore, he can serve people richer than him in other ways. Like bringing Rand Paul’s his bong, and then taking Rand Paul’s bedpan away.

    The Tbogg or Sadly No! photoshop would be funnier on so many levels if it includes the word teabaggers.
    Peace Out. The Power is Yours. Free Crystal Mangum.

  84. 84
    jcgrim says:

    Seriously- is there a bigger douchebag in print?

    Chris Christie
    David Brooks
    Jonah Goldberg

    We need a douchebag rating system so we can rank candidates according to their level of douchbagginess.

  85. 85
    SFAW says:

    We need a douchebag rating system so we can rank candidates according to their level of douchbagginess.

    Well, I guess. But what happens when there’s a cluster of them at 11, and no one below 9?

    I know, I know, it allows them to maintain their self-esteem. (“Look, Ma, I made it to the top of the D-List, along with Jonah, Michelle, etc. … Made it, Ma! Top of the World!”)

  86. 86
    beejeez says:

    I mean if you’re going to go all fat-therefore-wrong about it, let’s see Limbaugh, Rove, Barbour, Ailes, Gingrich, Cheney, Norquist, Morris, Scalia, Blankley, Buchanan and Thomas at the weigh-in.

  87. 87
    matt says:

    what’s needed is a color-coded douchebag alert system.

  88. 88
    SFAW says:

    what’s needed is a color-coded douchebag alert system.

    matt –

    In theory, an outstanding idea. However, since it will always be at the Red level, won’t it lose meaning after a relatively short while?

  89. 89
    gil mann says:

    Not just in print–you guys ever hear the NPR music/culture show “Soundcheck?” They do a segment called Soundcheck Smackdown, and the idea is, two music “experts” debate an issue of little-to-no import (last week it was “wither whistling in pop songs”), and any pretense of antagonism is purely tongue-in-cheek.

    I’m sure it will shock you all to learn that, when Gillespie’s on as one of the “combatants,” he’s an obnoxious, filibustering prick.

  90. 90
    DTOM says:

    You’re defending that talentless hack, that commie gasbag Michael TwoCheeseBurgers Moore and you call Nick Gillespie a doushebag? No wonder why my hypocrite asshat detector just went high order

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