The Broccoli Mandate is coming for your children
Michelle Obama is working to raise a healthier generation of children by shoving fruits and vegetables down your childrens’ trap — under penalty of death. (Well, that’s the Teabilly take on it.)
In reality, she is simply trying to get people to understand that childhood obesity leads to adulthood obesity and maybe if we help kids understand the value of a good diet and some exercise, they won’t grow up to be a prediabetic cookie-eating blogger who refuses to go to the gym because gyms are really gross and smell like sweat and ass.
Um, what were we talking about?
Michelle is really getting into the groove, as it were, teaming up with Beyoncé to get kids to shake their asses rather than sitting on them:
This week, Beyoncé surprised a bunch of crumbsnatchers at a school in Harlem:
The performer surprised a squealing class of middle-school students at PS 161: Pedro Albizu Campos middle school in Harlem. The students were in the gymnasium, dancing to a choreographed routine to a remix of her hit, “Get Me Bodied.”
The singer, wearing sky-high heels, skinny white jeans, and a “Let’s Move!” top, joined 85 starstruck students to dance up a storm to the song she adapted for the workout, called “Move Your Body.” Despite the appearance of the music icon, the kids kept their cool and kept on dancing — and Beyoncé barely stole the show from these talented dancers-in-training.
Middle schools across the country participated in the “dance-in” — all part of first lady Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign Let’s Move!. And let’s just say, with those moves, Beyoncé is on board.
The school kids, who had the routine down, certainly got a kick out the star’s high kicks. One seventh grader told CBS News, “It was amazing. Beyoncé came out of nowhere and started dancing with us. That made me so happy.”
Michelle Obama also surprised students and showed off her “Dougie” in a D.C. area public school celebrating the day of fitness.
First, Michelle is CLEARLY a better dancer than Barack. I saw them dance at the Western inaugural ball, and homeboy has two left feet. Yeah, I said it.
Second, I LOVE HER.
Third, it is fucking fantastic to see some soul in the First Family. Say what you will about Obama’s policies, I am proud that there are black people in the White House and that they are the face of this country right now. If a lovely couple hadn’t already adopted me 36 years ago, I might ask the Obamas to adopt me. Just like my parents, the Obamas are still in love. Just like my parents, they are a model for family values.
When was the last time you could say that about a first family? When was the last time you could say that about any prominent politician and his or her family? Yeah, get back to me on that one.
Between hiking trails in South Carolina, acting the fool in Nevada like John Ensign, getting blowies in the White House, having illegitimate children while your wife has breast cancer, tap dancing in bathroom stalls, divorcing sick wives for rich wives, or playing grab-ass with a bunch of congressional pages, it’s pretty clear that there aren’t a lot of families like the Obamas out there.
I love the Obamas and I don’t care who knows it. Flame away if you must, but I’m face-first in a bowl of Honey Nut Obama O’s™, and I’m lovin’ it like McDonald’s broccoli.
[via Let’s Move]
[cross-posted at ABL’s House of Hyperbole]
erlking
Shit. I’m a 46 year old white dude who loves his parents and I want the Obamas to adopt me. They look like fun people to know.
cyntax
Given what Malkin and Ross did with Tapper’s tweet about the bad timing of his shoot, I can just imagine the islamo-fasci-commie freak out this will engender.
I’m picking “ramming,” “reeducation,” and “tyranny” from my wingnut-bingo card. Although maybe this is a good week for “anarcho-panther.”
Having said all that, these are some fun videos to start the weekend with.
aimai
I hear you, ABL. I feel the same way. The Obamas are basically the same age Mr. Aimai and I are, their kids are the same ages as our kids. I really identify with them because I know they are facing the same issues with their kids (plus others) that I’m facing with mine, that they share the same love of history, family, their marriage, ideas, books, music that Mr. Aimai and I do. They clearly privilige their relationship as a couple rather than just going through the motions as a political package. I’m just kind of gobsmacked by how beautiful and normal their family is–they’re basically just two incredibly well grounded, well educated, middle class, nice people and its certainly nearly the first time we’ve seen that in the White House. (Carter and Roslyn were pretty normal but I didn’t relate to them because they were a whole lot older than me and southern and religious.)
I think the other thing that strikes me about the First Family is how young they are in terms of how they think about the world. There was supposed to have been a big generational shift between Bush I and Clinton–and there was but there was another huge seismic shift between Bush II and Obama in terms of the historical and cultural influences that shaped their aesthetic and their general sense of the role of President and First Family.
aimai
Maude
The Obamas are real. After all the years of fake photo ops and first ladies who could have cared less about the country, Michelle Obama is a breath of fresh air.
It is effective when someone cares and goes out to try to reach kids.
Lolis
I love the Obamas too. I just want to say I have always loved Michelle Obama. She is the better half. I love the girls and granny too! They make me proud to be an American.
It is impressive that something as slick and cool as the flash routine stemmed from a White House initiative. I have watched the Let’s Move video dozens of times since its release. It always lifts my spirits and makes me shake my ass.
Martin
If Jesus wanted kids to be skinny, he wouldn’t have made Denny’s bacon milkshake so yummy.
Why does that black lady hate Jesus?
MikeJ
@Martin: Cause she’s muslin, duh.
John Cole
It says something about Beyonce that she still looks good in whatever the hell those shorts were they had her in.
jl
I just don’t know what to do. Mother’s day is coming up, and I don’t want to disprespect my sainted mother. But her advice to eat my veggies is clearly in sync with the Islamofascicommunatheist plot to eat fruits and vegetables and exercise enough to remain slightly above the status of having a physical disability.
Which damages our FREEDOM.
Should I keep my mouth shut on Mother’s day, or confront her with her cooperation with Nobama totalitarianism?
Please give advice,
Confused in California
Edit: Good thing my grandparents are no longer here. Those devils, under the pretext of being farmers, propagandized us grandkids to get up at 5 AM and eat a breakfast of oatmeal, fruit and eggs, and then get to some physical work. That is not the American way. Back when I was young, I know somehow some way that was evil bad advice, but did not understand why. Now, I know.
John Cole
Did anyone notice that in the second video, Beyonce is doing that shit in 5 inch heels?
cyntax
@John Cole:
Yup.
geg6
I love, love, love, love, love, love Michelle Obama. I can’t say how much I love her. She’s the most awesome FLOTUS of my lifetime (and that includes 11 presidencies!!). And, like you, I love that we have some soul in the WH. As a pasty white person, I just have to say how sick I am of pasty white people running the country.
And Beyonce is pretty cool, too. I love how she’s not some skinny, malnourished model type. She’s got curves and booty, a real woman.
jl
@John Cole: No, the length of Beyonce’s heels was not the first, second, third or fourth thing I noticed. I mainly noticed her ‘doing that shit’.
Maude
@John Cole:
I have too slow a connection. Do the heels have a strap across the instep? If so, they are dancing shoes. And she can dance. How wonderful that she showed up to dance.
BOSS BITCH
@John Cole:
she does this stuff in heels all the time. Usually there are hot lights and giant fans.
BOSS BITCH
This dance was such a good idea. Its not just boring exercise.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Dear Confused in California,
Your mother’s affliction is probably only temporary. Take her to an Islamofascist, DFH organic co-op. Once she is confronted by the overwhelming scent of earth, sweat, patchouli, and incense, she will realize the evil of her ways… or she will buy a cute accessory made from organic hemp and you will realize she is lost to you forever. Either way, you will become Clear in California.
BOSS BITCH
And yeah, those two really are still in love. They make me blush every time I see them looking at each other. Its like, ‘get a room already’.
kerFuFFler
Just back from the gym. Try swimming, at least it just smells like chlorine.
MikeBoyScout
Yes SHE can
The Ithacan
I denounce Stalin.
Also.
The Ithacan
I denounce Stalin.
Also.
Valdivia
@kerFuFFler:
I love swimming. Do it almost every day when I am not laid up with a bad back because I fell. I am doing a couple of Aqua-Velos in the Fall so I am totally on board with Let’s Move.
Also. Too. Love me some Obama. Both of them.
Valdivia
@John Cole:
Oh John. You’re such a male. Of course she is doing it in 5 inch heels! Is there any other way to dance? ;)
gnomedad
@The Ithacan:
Only twice? Commie.
ABL
@aimai: amen!
ABL
@Martin: hahahahaha
JCT
@John Cole: Yes, and that is pure skill.
What I love is how excited those kids are!
slag
Michelle’s one of the many reasons I don’t buy it when people criticize Barack Obama’s motivations. You don’t get a woman like her to marry and support you if you aren’t at least trying to do the right thing. The math demands it!
And for fuck’s sake, these videos are just torture to watch when you’ve been laid up with a goddamn relentless plantar injury for over a month. Don’t they have any inspirational videos for the lame or otherwise infirm? Maybe just film Michelle sunken into the sofa, eating mac and cheese, dreaming of the day she can walk again? Who wouldn’t want to watch that?
Valdivia
@slag:
raises hand! Been laid up for just a week but totally sympathize.
I love these videos but shaking my behind is not something I can do right now, I watched the one of Sesame Street because she goes for a walk and I can more or less do that. To the bathroom and back.
slag
@Valdivia: Aha! Good to know a fellow non-traveller. I may have to check out that Sesame Street vid, then. I hear it’s good for sweepin’ the clouds away.
MTiffany
@slag:
Goddamned ouch. Hot pack? Ice pack? Ibuprofen and elevate the foot? F*ck that. Might I kindly suggest a ketamine-induced coma until it heals?
Ghanima Atreides
I love the Obamas.
I love Michelles gardenstyle, dress style, dance style and general grrlstyle.
Her inaugral dress was dreamy. She has the best FL style since Jackie O.
And Barack is even a gamer nerd.
I wish i was black.
Valdivia
@slag:
yeah, elmo is kinda cute after all the pain killers I’ve taken!
seriously: feel better. my thing is just a hip/back sprain yours sounds very ouchy.
Cris (without an H)
1. Holy crap those heels. Seriously.
2. I, too, love Michelle. I love what she stands for and what she says, but fundamentally, it’s visceral — I just like her a whole lot. When I see dicks like Breitbart hate on her, I want to punch them with my paci-fist.
John Cole
@JCT: If Beyonce showed up in my house and started dancing I’s squeal like a little girl, too.
slag
@MTiffany:
I don’t know what this is. But I like the sound of it. Anything that can induce a coma is certainly worthy of investigation.
A Humble Lurker
It is a cool thing. I remember when, at the inaugural ball (when Beyoncé sang ‘At Last’) the POTUS and the FLOTUS were dancing together they looked so in love. How it took a long time for it to sink in that Obama was President because to me he seemed so normal, like he could be one of my neighbors. Everything else aside, I think that’s pretty cool.
Ghanima Atreides
@John Cole: strapped dance shoes on a wood floor. Michelle is the one risking her life with low heels on turf.
ABL
FTW.
Some of the comments on that Yahoo article pissed me off. Do not get out of the boat unless you want to read about how Michelle O. is fat or overweight or a gorilla or whatever.
Emma
Did anyone see the photos of the Cinco de Mayo celebration? At one point, during the President’s remarks, he had his arm around her and his hand was getting to below the waist territory. So cute to see!
Phoebe
I love every bit of this. And yeah, jean short shorts with knee socks and heels is nuts, but she gets to.
Ghanima Atreides
@Maude: strapped, like for broadway dance. but you can wear anything anymore. check out the Girl in the Seven Inch Heels (Rhianna).
I love that Michelle and Beyonce are tall healthy muscled curvey women…size 12, like Marilyn Monroe.
;)
I grew up in dance culture and starved a lot.
I love their look.
Ghanima Atreides
@ABL: ‘wookie’ was the hotair term of endearment i remember.
dont call them racists.
did you catch all the dance types? i saw salsa, street, dancehall, krump and hiphop.
slag
@Valdivia: You too! I hope you can get back in the pool soon! Swimming is awesome exercise.
Cris (without an H)
Weep for anyone who thinks the “Black Swan Diet” is something desirable. Even Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis said they would never do it again.
The Raven
A huge factor in childhood obesity is heavy consumption of sugar, especially in soft drinks. This has been well-documented for a decade. A major source of sugar in the USA is corn, grown in Illinois, the home state of President Obama. US agribusiness provided much support for Obama when was campaigning for President and he returned the favor with planks in his platform. Somehow, I do not expect an aggressive press against this huge problem of childhood diet from Obama or his wife.
If you’ve got too much corn, we corvids will be happy to help you with the problem.
R-Jud
@Ghanima Atreides:
Old-school dressmaker’s 12, which is more of a size 6/8 nowadays.
/pedantry
Your general point stands, though. They are hot.
And Michelle reportedly has size 11 feet. I always find myself analyzing her shoes, because I wear the same size, and it’s tough to find nice stuff. It’s generally one extreme or the other: orthopedic nun shoes, or pole dancin’ shoes.
ETA: Marilyn also lifted weights.
gogol's wife
This is a great thread. I love the Obamas! I’m not a big fan of Beyonce’s singing, but she brought me to tears in that second video.
MTiffany
@slag: Veterinary anesthetic, found its way into the club scene as a party drug (see K-hole), but also has uses in helping heroin addicts go through rapid withdrawal without, you know, dying (Effects of ketamine on precipitated opiate withdrawal).
PTirebiter
@erlking:
I’m a 58 year old white guy and I concur. They absolutely represent the America I grew up believing in.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Ok, its official, Micheal Obama is the hottest 1st Lady since Jacky Kennedy. No wonder Obama is a such family man lol
Cris (without an H)
@The Raven: Michelle did say (back in 2009) that she tries not to feed her girls foods with HFCS. I know that’s not the “aggressive press” you’re looking for but it’s also hardly shilling for ADM.
Hill Dweller
@Emma:
The video, which is on the White House site, is even better. He talks about Mexican food being Michelle’s favorite, and the danger getting between her and a tamale. That remark led to Michelle giving the President a bit of a cold look. The President, knowing he might have messed up, turned on the charm, put his arm around her, and said Michelle is always moving, so she can eat as many as she wants.
They are obviously still attracted to one another, which is rare for a first couple.
Ghanima Atreides
@The Raven: our government has been force feeding us corn syrup as a stealth additive for 20 years. Don’t blame O, Scavenger. I thought you ate carrion mostly n/e ways.
Ghanima Atreides
@Phoebe: shoes to die for.
AMG i lust for those.
the platforms!
Cat Lady
Barack shot Michelle a really quick look during the first state dinner while the Indian Prime Minister was thanking his host the Obamas that gave me a warm tingle in my ladyparts. They are fun to watch because not only do they love each other completely, they really like and enjoy each other. You can tell they prefer each other’s company the most.
At the base of all the Obama hate on the right is envy and repressed sexuality, and the knowledge that they fall short in every measurable human trait compared to the Obamas.
Joy
I’m with you ABL. Love’em!
Mnemosyne
That hopeless white lady trying to dance next to Mrs. O? That’s me. Well, not literally me, but that’s what I look like when I dance. (Plus I’m about that height and weight and wear glasses, so it’s a little eerie, actually.)
General Stuck
The Obama’s are real, and unpretentious as a couple, or as individuals. It is a good thing, even with all the crazy shit having a black president brings into our lives. But the reason I support Barack Obama being in the WH, is that he is the most competent US president in my lifetime, and I was alive during Kennedy. As for ideology, he is a near mirror of my own, I just get the wavelength he is broadcasting on. The only person that could possibly change this bond of trust, is Obama himself going seriously off the reservation.
And I see no signs of that now or into the future. No other human person can break it, and that is a wonderful feeling, I will tell you.
The fact that he is black does not enter into that equation at all, one way or another for my support of his presidency. It doesn’t hurt that both he and Michelle are genuinely nice people though.
Ghanima Atreides
@R-Jud: twelve
sneezy
Yup. I’ve said it before and will say it again: our first lady rocks.
Me too.
Darkrose
I think having Michelle and the girls in the White House is as important as Barack being there. I still get sniffly when I think about the fact that there are two girls who look like me at that age (only without the glasses) living in the White House,and that the First Lady went to the same high school as one of my best friends.
JCT
@General Stuck: Agree – word for word. I was at a party last month (I usually suck at them – find a place to hide) when I met a member of the faculty and we totally hit it off over our happiness to see the Obamas in the WH. Mind you, this was in one of the batshit crazy red states so this was quite the revelation.
In the end we just decided that while we were horrified at the near constant villification, we were thrilled they were there.
I just want another 4 years.
No one of Importance
Hell, yes.
And her arms.
SiubhanDuinne
I spent last weekend with Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter. They were awesome beyond belief and clearly in love. They are both in their 80s btw.
JCT
@SiubhanDuinne: My oldest has an upcoming internship at the Carter Center and a highpoint of the summer for her is getting to meet them.
ABL
@Cris (without an H): there was a woman who used to harass me on my old blog who professed to be proana.
bananas.
The Raven
@Ghanima Atreides: “Don’t blame O, Scavenger.”
It’s not Obama’s fault, no, but no amount of pressing children to exercise is going to help if something isn’t also done about diet. Michele Obama seems to be aware of this, yes. So far, though, that awareness has not translated into policy advocacy. Someone has to take the lead, if it’s going to change. Doesn’t look like it’s going to be this administration.
BTW, corvids are infamous for eating up grain just after it’s been planted. We’re omnivorous, just like you-folks.
Alison
@geg6: Well, it’s late and maybe no one will see this, but I must inject a little feminism here and ask you to observe that all women are “real women”, no matter our body types. Being positive about curvier or larger women doesn’t get you any cookies or medals if you do it by denigrating those who are small-chested, narrow-framed, naturally thin, etc.
Honestly, we need to stop using the phrases “real men” and “real women” as much as we want people to stop blathering about “real Americans”. There is a nasty undertone to all of them.
ANYWAY. I fucking heart the Obamas and want to hang out with them. I don’t drink alcohol but I make good coffee.
Damned at Random
What I love about Michelle O is that she goes way beyond lip service on her First Lady project. Her smile looks sincere, not frozen like Laura Bush’s (I always suspected Laura was too shy to ever be comfortable with that role.) She will be a huge asset in the next election.
PNW Warrior Woman
Grading rubric for Beyonce’s video:
1. Sexist and sexualizing of exercise in stilettos, boobs a bouncin’ in an off-the-shoulder t-shirt presenting a hyper-sexualized image of femininity to school kids: Fail
2. Making a school cafeteria and its neatly dressed diversity body of students look cool and appealing: Pass
3. Message that physical fitness is cool and appropriate for kids of all sizes because kids of all sizes are featured: Pass
4. Idea and attempt to make this video appear like a flash event: Pass
5. Choreography and staging: Pass
Hit or miss? Miss…kinda sad because it could have hit on all counts if not for #1 above.
Ghanima Atreides
@Alison: good point. im personally scarred by 13 years of dance culture though. we all have baggage.
I’ve always been flatchested, but two girls in my studio had breast reduction in college. Like Jennifer Conelly I guess.
I just love how strong michelle and beyonce look.
and AMG the shoes.
Ghanima Atreides
@PNW Warrior Woman: a cultural win and a marketing triumph though.
marketting street dance flash mob as FUN exercise WIN!
choreographing ethnic dance culture tags like salsa (latino), dancehall (caribbean), dougie, hiphop, pop-n-lock, and b-boi stunts WIN!
it was genius.
Heels are always worn in broadway dance classes, sry. Those were laceup ankle boots.
And you are not a woman if you didn’t covet those Loubatons.
Faker.
;)
Sissy Van Dyke
This made me so happy! I only hope that moving and eating healthier can become a value that we pass down to our children.
Every day I walk down the street in downtown Chicago dodging people whose lifestyles have made them sidewalk hazards, as they limp into the nearest fast food restaurant for a rest and a bite to eat.
I’ve been watching videos lately such as “They Live” and “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” I’m seeing a connection between these abduction films and the fatty foods and sedentary lifestyles that Madison Avenue push relentlessly via the media to the American public. In whose interests would be a country filled with sickly, overweight zombies? Can you spell Pfizer?
Oh oh, the helicopters are coming. I know too much.